Sugar Momma and I Are Swingers!!

Being gone "on the road" for a couple of days reminded me how much I love to travel. Even if some of it wasn't the ideal circumstances, as you read by my most recent blogs, it was still fun. I have a wandering heart which probably comes from drum and bugle corps as a kid. I want to travel the rail or jump a tramp steamer to Hong Kong! The trip to Kansas City coupled with the drum and bugle corps get-together stoked the flame again I guess. I still long for adventure! I smell regular weekend trips..maybe it's time to get the boat out of storage. Some people might call this a MIDDLE life crisis...there's no crisis.

Speaking of adventure...tonight we are taking our free swing dancing lesson downtown. Sugar Momma is saying "you don't have to" to me but I said I would. I think maybe she doesn't want to and she wants me to call it off...it ain't happenin' sister...I was born to dance ("I want to be in the ballet" spoken in a Billy Elliot Scottish accent). She knows that I am too sexy for swing dancing and that it should probably be salsa dancing lessons but I can bring sexy back to swing dancing. I don't know anything about this but she says it's a free swing dance lesson at The House in Dekalb. I am going to go to their website at see...be right back... it says that I am going to learn the East Coast Swing, the Lindy Hop and the Charleston. Taught by the Barb City Connection from 4:00 - 7:30 (What?). There better be a little sumpin' sumpin' in this for me (wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean, say no more). Maybe I should watch It's a Wonderful Life before we go. Grab a partner and come on out...I guess Jill and I are becoming swingers!!! (more wink wink nudge nudge) Come swing with us!!!

On the way back from K.C. we stopped at "THE WORLDS BIGGEST TRUCK STOP" "Iowa 80". I must say it WAS huge (TWSS). A group of buses full of kids pulled in just as we were getting there. We fueled up and went in for lunch. As we walked in I saw every electrical outlet throughout the place adorned with cellphones and i-pods all plugged in to the walls. Whoever invents a way to charge these devises easily and economically on the road will be Bill Gates rich. I am too lazy and stupid to do this one but I will throw it out there if you want to cut me in so I don't have to sue you for giving you the idea. (patent/copyright/trademark)

There's a lot of famous historical dudes who were born and/or grew up between here and Kansas City. You've got: Ronald Reagan, Herbert Hoover, Jesse James (the nice one not the one who cheated on Sandra Bullock), John Wayne, Wild Bill Hickock, Mark Twain, Harry S. Truman (I always like to include the "S" because it stands for "S") and The Bridges of Madison County (not really born but there WAS a sign). We had a lot of important people come out of the MIDDLEwest. It made me start thinking further of the people we don't have signs for in the MIDDLEwest. We had a lot of the nutjobs and thieves from here too; Gacy, Dillinger, Capone, Dahmer, Gein, Jesse James...Oh wait, how did he make both lists? Now that's a true legend who can make the lists of thieves and historical heroes. That's why you get Brad Pitt to play you in a movie and Dillinger only got Johnny Depp and Capone only got Robert De Niro.

There is a chain of, "fillin' stations" I will call them, called KUM & GO. Sounds like a one-stop shop to me. We never stopped at one of these as we were trying to make time and these sound like they may slow you down a might.

There's also a town called What Cheer, Iowa (population 678). I bet they have an excellent Pom Squad.

When we got to the Mississippi River I couldn't help but think about the settlers heading West through our beautiful MIDDLE seeing how lush and wonderful everything was, dreaming of their easier lives ahead and coming up on that HUGE body of water. I imagine that's how Illinois got settled at it's Western border...I think I would have stopped right there and started growing corn too. "Let's tell the kids we reached the ocean and start building cabins here!" There would have been some huge advantages to no internet that day.

I don't know why I wrote this in my notebook while driving but I like it..."IlliNOISE!" Maybe the U of I can use it when they are trying to get the crowd pumped and loud...that's a freebie (don't get used to it). "Let's make some IlliNOISE!!!"

Okay...I will end here. Come to The House today and swing with Sugar Momma and me! I know it's everyone's dream to be mentioned in my blog and this is your shot at instant stardom. Or, come and tell me not to mention you because you're supposed to be at work or something. I am very discrete and there are plenty of things that I DON'T blog about believe it or not. Have a great 5th of July...blog you later (maybe from traction).

**swing dance photo lindy'd from salsadanza.tripod.com, jesse james photo train-robbed from celebson.com and swingtown photo open-mindedly swapped from tvweek.com (nice melons)**