I See Why Everyone Wants a Castle Now

 See how much these colds have aged Jill and I? 

Man, this cold or flu or whatever it is is kicking our butts. I got it first so I am doing a bit better than Cha Cha right now. I think she is probably about a week or so behind me in the recovery phase. I probably feel terrible compared to normal but, compared to where I have come from recently, I feel pretty good. Everything is about perspective. I am sure I have written about it here but some people on our trip had to fly home early and some were hospitalized in Europe. We should have probably opted for that second one with the socialized medicine in almost every other country of the world. We are the ones that act all high-and-mighty and pretend to care about her people sometimes. I'd rather have died where I came from than come home. That would have been a pretty cool story. Maybe I could have even worked-out being buried at Frankenstein's Castle. 

Hey, that castle thing made me remember something I was gonna tell you about. While we were on a tour of one of the many,many castles we visited the person told us a story of how the modern-day military salute was "invented." I am sure there are many stories of how saluting began but this one makes sense to me, and I like it, so I will proclaim that this is the real story as to why soldiers salute one another... When medieval knights in Europe greeted one another they would raise the face shield on their armor to show they were friendly. In doing so, with their metal gloves on,  they would perform what resembles the modern-day salute. It makes sense to me so I deem it as fact!

Oops, wrong Graham Greene photo (this was a better role anyway)

Funny how things make us think of other things... I think I learned where the term "getting screwed" comes from as it is related to when something bad or unfortunate happens to us. I was watching The Green Mile for the 347th time the other night and while Arlen Bitterbuck (Graham Greene) was getting strapped in to "Old Sparky" (the electric chair) and the term "getting screwed" was mentioned when they are screwing the wires to the metal cap that helps conduct the electricity that cooks the brain. I must have heard that line so many times and never really HEARD it before. I am not sure if that is where the term "getting screwed" comes from but it sure makes sense to me so I will call it as fact. Somebody has to make those types of decisions, right? Might as well be me.

There was one part of traveling abroad that made me kind of disappointed in us as a country - there were more but this was the biggest. I suppose it is due to the proximity of their countries to other countries but most everyone knows at least four languages. They are so much more tolerant and patient than most of the people in our country seem to be. Maybe it is the nationalized medicine deal and knowing your stress will be taken-care of. We seem, for the most part, to be on our own and they seem to be working as a team. When did we become so entitled? Maybe it is natural for me to judge us harder than I do them because that is how I am with myself. I am my own worst critic and, as big of a jerk as I can be sometimes, you should know what is really going on in my head most of the time. If you knew you would think I am an angel compared to that a-hole. It does make me feel better that I am somewhat better at restraining my self these days. Maybe with age comes restraint or maybe I am just too tired to be as big of a jackass as I once was; it's a lot of work to be a sarcastic jerk all the time - you can't appreciate all the time and energy it takes. I am certain that many would say that I am still as big of a jerk as I always was. I dare you to say that to my face though! Just kidding, of course.

Today my good friend Delores "Ma" Meyer has double by-pass surgery. Please, whether you know her or not, send good thoughts her way. She is truly one of the very good people on this planet and we need her at full-strength to off-set the Matt Helsers of the world. I know she will do great but a little extra good juju never hurt anyone.

I am going to wrap-up now. I think I will start by cleaning the kitchen and then take the suitcases downstairs and put them away in the crawlspace finally. Cha Cha and I have been on shut-down all weekend long due to our post vacation illnesses. I have lots more on my mind but I am afraid that much of it will get me in trouble so I will wait and decide if I will include some of these snippets in subsequent blogs. Thank you for being here today and letting me rant and whine; you are the best therapist I could have ever dreamed of. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

Make Positives Out of Negative!

I am feeling a bit depressed this morning; maybe melancholy is the more appropriate word. I think I feel a lot like the way that Pinocchio must have felt. I feel really close to being real but I am just a bit short of the realness. Last night my buddy Mike came out to corn country and we went down to Corn Fest (yes, the town that I live in has a yearly festival called Corn Fest). I am sure you have heard of Dekalb Corn. Mike knew some people who were preforming so we went down and watched Field Day play. It was at 17:30 so it was still early enough for me to be out. They were really good. They played a lot of music that can probably be heard on the Fleetwood Mac Pandora station.

Today is the day when the free corn-on-the-cob (yes, already cooked) is given-away. If you're coming out the free steamed corn is from 11:00 to 14:00 (or until all the corn is gone). They close down many of the streets of our town including the main street through downtown (Illinois Route 38 / Lincoln Highway). If the 70 tons of corn have been devoured before you get here do not worry there are always foot long corn dogs and funnel cakes and burgers and less healthy food and such that can be purchased on the street. And, the restaurants are all open right there on the main drag too. I am sure that you know this but corn is considered a grain and not a vegetable. We have to know that to become citizens of the town. I am not sure if I am going back down there - my illness may be turning me a bit agoraphobic. I like to be at home and I like to have a breathing machine mask blowing moist warm air up my nose. I kind of equate it to being a little kid and hiding under a blanket. Maybe it is just that I like how it opens my sinuses. The machine has an uplink in it that sends my useage information to whoever watches that kind of stuff. I was not really sure that was true but I got a call from a robot two days ago that gave me my statistics for the past month. I have been using it enough (92% of the time) to make HAL 9000 happy. I think it would have been 100% but the European electrical outlets and plane rides may have limited my usage a bit over the past couple of weeks.Yes, I even had an outlet converter - if you need to borrow it let me know.

It is raining now (05:27) and I wouldn't mind if it rained all day long. Just a bit ago it was thundering and pouring but now I just hear the light rain outside. Wow, just now as I wrote that, a huge, long clap of thunder struck and Jeff, who is lying in bed next to be, almost jumped out of his fur.

I want to be well again though I would probably never have gotten back to Europe had I not become broken. It's weird how, if we look for them, there are positives that come form negatives. If memory serves, and it usually doesn't these days, two negative numbers make a positive, right? I know that is true in grammar with double negatives. In mathematics, negative two multiplied by negative three equals six (-2 X -3 = 6) . I am not completely sure why that is the case but it is a rule and I try to follow rules whenever it is convenient to do so. And, with a failing memory (a negative) that is not always convenient (another negative so it must be a positive).

Being a real boy again would be great! The longer this drags on the more hopeless I feel. Hey, it is almost September already and the second-half of the property taxes are due in about a week and that reminds me that I have not received one paycheck since I have been off of work. I think that, eventually, I will get some disability back-pay but it has been difficult to get all of my doctors to get the proper paperwork filled-out correctly to my work. While we were gone I got a copy of a letter in the mail that my work disability department sent to the slowpoke doctor who changed my life. I am down to this one doctor's paperwork and it was just an issue of them not having the correct dates on the paperwork they sent in. I will call his office Monday morning to find the what-what. I took quite a bit of money from my retirement account for our trip because, ironically, the doctor who hasn't gotten the paperwork in correctly said that "if there is anything that you want to get done while you can still remember you had better get it done." I, of course, cannot remember the exact words but it was something along (very close if not exact) those lines. Luckily, Jill was there with me or I would be afraid that my mind made that up.

Okay, it is 06:28 now and I may try to sleep a bit again. Another great thing about inclement weather is that day sometimes looks like night and I much prefer the dark than the light. The dark and the air mask helps me feel like it's night. Is that another negative and positive thing? Have a great day and enjoy the corn if you come to town. I am not sure if I will blog tomorrow as I usually rest the blog on Sundays. Who knows? Maybe I will surprise us? TTT?????...MITM (out) TA!

This Blog Really Has Gaul!

     Maybe it's time for action!     

It is 03:37 and I am awake. I felt like I slept fairly well but I do not feel rested. I had another dream that I remember so I think I may be headed (no pun intended) in the right direction. I think I may base a short story on last night's dream. I know that is kind of a rip-off because that means I am not going to tell you about the dream - sorry.

I need to go through my dozens and dozens of various-sized notebooks and compile and condense and combine and collaborate and check and correct and coordinate and whatever word fits into my alliteration scheme of the stories I need to write. Maybe, by the time I am done with my encyclopedic-sized notes, I will have an entire book of short stories? Does that count as a novel then or is it just a book of short stories? I think a novel is something that tells one story. Maybe, by the time I am done compiling, I will be able to intertwine all of the short stories into one story. It would be really odd that, when I go through reading all the notes/ideas, they were actually intertwined somehow and I was subconsciously working toward one story all along. Maybe that would even be the story? Man, I think weird stuff when I am sick and cannot sleep.

 Cha Cha couldn't believe how small it was (TWSS)  

When I write I usually have something going in the background like: the television, a radio, Pandora... It is usually just white noise because I hear everything and if I hear something outside or something unusual I will become very distracted. Maybe I have a mild case of ADD or something. That would explain a lot, actually. It's convenient for me to believe that I have that - newly self-diagnosed affliction. Anyway, I am watching the Sundance channel. I was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and now a movie called Before Sunset is on. It caught my attention as it is about a novelist who meets a girl in Paris and I like Ethan Hawke well enough so I kept it on. So, the movie starts and the novelist (Hawke) is promoting his book at one of the places we visited last week (it was one of the first places on my list of places to visit, in fact) - Shakespeare and Company. It is such a small place and I have a difficult time believing that some of these scenes are actually shot inside the store. Maybe I am cosmically connected to this place now. Maybe I will have to promote my book of short stories that turns into a novel there too?!

I really wish I had gotten to see somebody's underpants in public on our trip. I have always wanted to be able to say, "I see London, I see France, I see somebody's underpants" and mean it. Why do English people in only London show their bloomers but ALL OF FRANCE, apparently, show their undies? I guess France has always had a bit of a liberal undergarment comfortability (yes, that is probably a made-up word but maybe not). Who knows, I may have already blogged the London and France bloomer joke too?

This Ethan Hawke movie is really boring so far. I like chick flix but I need an occasional shooting or a prat-fall or a pie in a face or something. It's only 30 minutes in so, there is still hope.

I learned so much on our trip. After my jet lag is done maybe I will go back one day. I learned that Trier, Germany (a very cool place, of course) used to be known as Gaul during the Iron Age in like the single digits and B.C. years. Julius Caesar was in charge of it for quite some time. As I look into it, Gaul was actually very large (including parts of present day: France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Switzerland, Netherlands, Germany...). The only time I think I have ever heard about Gaul (Gallia), before the trip, was in one of my favorite films of all-time (Gladiator) when Maximus Decimus Meridius fights Tigris of Gaul. If you have seen the film that is the the scene with the worst CGI in the movie when the tigers are chained-up near the gladiators swiping at them as they fight. Maximus the Merciful decided not to kill Tigris and that pissed-off Johnny Cash  Leaf  Commodus.

Okay, I am getting to the point where I am just blabbing and not blogging. Thank you for stopping in. I hope you have a great day! I want to send special blog vibes to my friend Delores "Ma" Meyer as she is having double heart-bypass surgery and getting a pacemaker installed (if that is the correct term). She is one of the very, very good ones. Please help me pay-it-forward for Ma! I know, for a fact, she would do it for you! TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

I Am Legend! DUH!

 And Jeff is dog of Legend! 

It is really nice when your 18-year-old son tells you "you're a legend!" I need to be out of the country for a couple of weeks more often. Maybe absence does, in fact, make the heart grow fonder. We had such great conversations about many things while eating lunch yesterday. Maybe being out of high school and in college now has made him different too - more confident, feeling more grown-up? I know he wasn't all that happy in high school but I think that is what high school is for maybe.  He is acting more mature and confident and he is talking about things with me that would have been like pulling teeth just a few weeks ago.

I didn't even know it was Women's Equality Day yesterday until 14:58 yesterday afternoon. On August 26th in 1920 women gained the right to vote in the United States of America. I wish I had known that earlier for some reason. I still think women have a way to go in gaining the equal rights they deserve but I think things are headed in the right direction.

I feel guilty that Jill is sick. I am probably part to blame because I have been sick. At least we didn't have to fly home or head to the hospital like several other people on our river cruise. It is nice and cool outside so I opened the house windows at about 03:00 to get all of our germs out of here so Fabio doesn't get sick too.

I was kind of bummed-out when I was trying to listen to music in Europe. As you probably know, I am a huge Pandora fan and user. when I tried to logon to Pandora while we were abroad I got a message that read, "Sorry - Pandora is not available in this country." It goes through a satellite; how can it not be available? Unless it is a censorship issue because of revenue or advertising or something. I found other musical avenues

Outside of the Gutenberg  Museum

Another highlight of our trip for me (and I could go on about those forever) was visiting the Gutenburg Museum in Mainz, Germany. Print has been a big deal to me for most of my life. My love for print probably began with Dick and Jane and the went to Highlights magazine and eventually to me writing for newspapers and magazines and now this blog. To stand in front of THE Gutenburg Bible and the Gutenburg printing press was a very big deal. There are only 49 Gutenburg Bibles that still exist today. It really makes me appreciate how it is so easy to publish a blog compared to having to make metal imprints of every letter and ink plates by hand like back in the beginning. I wonder when, one day, people look back and see how archaic the internet is they will appreciate what we have now. Johannes Gutenburg was Time Magazine's MOM (Man of the Selenium) for very good reason.

I am still having some mini-seizures but I think most of them are still jet lag and getting re-acclimated to my current time zone. My medications were messed-up a bit too because of the differences in time and now I am trying to get back to CST. Maybe we crammed too much stuff into our time and we didn't get the proper rest we should have gotten. If it happens again I will have learned nothing from this and I will repeat the same behavior. I am a creature of bad habits. I am also thinking that maybe I got this cold at our first stop in London - it's one of there tricks to make us mention them in our blogs and have to drink their tea to soothe our throats. So, I am now having a spot of tea with honey.

While we were in Paris I kept thinking THIS over and over again. You never appreciate your language until you go to a foreign country that doesn't have the courtesy to speak English! (yes, that red thing there is a hyperlink to some early material of one of the world's best all-time stand-up comics).

I just saw a clip of the Chicago Cubs loss last night and one question came to my mind - why is cotton candy pink or blue? Why isn't cotton candy just white? Sugar is white. Is it because of the whole racial problems in our country? Is it a marketing thing? Is it so it isn't confused with real food?

Okay, that's all I have in the tank this morning. Soon I will be either dead or well and, either way, the blog will probably be improved. I keep getting distracted so I am really quitting now. Thank you so much for stopping by. I hope you have a great day - it'll be nice having the air off and the windows open today so the germ exorcism can work. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

I'm A Believer

I would call myself a believer. I believer in fate. I believe in destiny, I believe in chance, I believe in karma. I believe I can fly. I believe in the curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe there oughta be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro-turf and the designated hitter... I never realized that I believe in so much until this morning. I don't believe in more than I do believe in I think though. I was lying in bed and wanting to stay there for a bit longer because it was warm and cozy under the covers so I turned on the television while I started the slow waking process. HBO must have been what was on television last because that is the channel that came on. The movie Life is Beautiful was on. I remember we saw it in the theater and we liked it very much. I also realize that I believe that I cannot believe that Shakespeare in Love beat-out Life is Beautiful and Saving Private Ryan for the best picture (Academy Award) for 1988. Watching that film again made me think about our European Vacation (boy, I sure hope that movie didn't win any awards unless they were Rotten Tomatoes - I am afraid to check so I will not). Life is Beautiful made me really think about all of the beautiful places we visited in Europe and how ugly and horrific many of them must have been back during World War II and just before. I also realize there has been (and still is) lots of hate and very ugly behavior in the U.S. and A but we are still infants compared to the lands of Europe.

While over in Germany we looked at all of the castles and marveled at their being built and how majestic they look but now I start to consider how they were probably all built using slave labor and that they were built to protect the surrounding villages from attacks from other peoples trying to take what you had built for yourselves and make you and your family slaves. Times really have not changed that much though the terrorism is more efficient and swifter these days. Wow, I really just bummed myself about our trip.

When I was looking-up things up about Life is Beautiful I found that the boy (a man now) who played Joshua (the son) has been in two major films and, in both, the person playing his father won the Oscar for best actor. Roberto Benigni won for playing Guido in Life is Beautiful and Russell Crowe won for playing Maximus Decimus Meridius in Gladiator. If I am ever in a major motion picture or even a student film where I have a son I am going to request that Giorgio Cantarini play that part. Since he is the same age as Splenda it should be doable. I predict we will see him again in Hollywood.

Girorgio Cantarini then and now

I had been doing pretty well medically on vacation other than getting a cold that I contracted. Some of the people that were on the river cruise got very sick. A few were hospitalized and a couple even flew home early. I just toughed-it-out because I was at least 20 years younger than just about everybody on the trip other than the people who worked there and Cha Cha. Anyway, the last two days I had three mild seizures (or episodes). I am sure it had something to do with the jet lag and my medicine being taken at odd hours compared to what my body had grown accustomed to. I do think most of my issues are related to lack of sleep or very limited time sleeping. It seems pretty clear to me that, when I get cleared to go back to work, I need to find a job with real-people hours. I was never meant to work vampire hours. I am a pantie waist - a delicate flower.

While overseas, as I always do, I entertained myself in my mind. Whenever I saw someone's bloomers I said to myself. "I see London, I see France, I see somebody's underpants." I never in my life got to say that while I was in London and France. It never meant so much to me as when it was true. I may even have that written on my tombstone though I don;t intend on having a tombstone - I want to be one of those fertilizer pouches for a tree. Ashes and dust!

Something else I found out that was kind of cool is that both the Prime Minister and the President of Luxembourg are homosexuals. I think that is fantastic! Supposedly, we have had a homosexual President but not openly, of course. Supposedly, James Buchanan was said to have been gay and many are saying that Barack Obama is gay and that Michelle is a beard (not a joke). I could not care less either way whether people are gay or not. I just want them to be able to do their jobs and I do not know how sexual orientation one way or another has any impact on how you can lead a country. I have many friends who are gay and it makes no difference to me or them. I am not sure why sexual orientation is on any issue. I am extremely happy that not everyone else is like me. I really cannot stand myself most of the time so I am glad we're all different. One thing that I found out even more interesting is that, when you are anywhere in Luxembourg you are always withing 30 minutes of being out of Luxembourg. You cannot even say that about every state in the United States and Luxembourg is a country. I do have to say, however, that the people were the rudest of all the countries were in.Must be like small country complex or something? They have five national languages there too: French, English, Portuguese, German and Luxembourgish,

Burial spot of George and Beatrice Patton, sort of

We visited the Luxembourg American Cemetery and Memorial where General George S. Patton is buried along with thousand of American soldiers that lost their lives fighting in Europe so we could enjoy the freedoms that we do today. I cannot even imagine what kind of world we'd have today, if any, had Hitler accomplished what he was trying to do. I am very thankful to the sacrifice these men and women paid for us. One story about the cemetery that warmed my heart was that Patton wanted to buried with the men and women who fought with him. He is buried right near the soldiers who fought for us. When his wife died she could not be buried there as it is a soldier's cemetery. She was cremated and their sons brought her ashes to the cemetery and sprinkled her ashes on her beloved husband's grave so they could be together for eternity. That really warmed my heart.

Okay, that is all for today. I will add a few photos to the An Idiot and a Broad page in a bit too. We have so many photos so that may go on for months. Thank you for travelling with us and for all of your nice words and comments. I always appreciate you and you never cease to keep raising my bar of appreciation. Hey, that might be a good name for a bar. Have a great day. For me, I will be cleaning the kitchen and doing about ten load of laundry and unpacking several suitcases. TTTT...MITM (out and happy to be back to reality for a bit) TA!

Let the Topsy-Turvy Jet Lag Begin (or continue)

It is very early (02:17) on Tuesday morning as I writing this. I am sure that my inner-clock is really messed-up with the different time zones and the topsy-turviness of the last few weeks. Please do not be sad by what I am about to write because I am not sad and I have pretty-well come to grips with where I appear to be headed (no pun intended with "head"ed). In a way, I consider what has and is happening with my mind kind of a blessing. I have been wound pretty tightly, mentally, for many years and, when something is wound too tightly for too long it either snaps or just becomes very relaxed; I would say that I am headed in the relaxed direction which is good because I look a lot fatter in white coats. However, the relaxed direction many times puts a lot more pressure and heartache on the family - I do not want that either. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to get 100% better and that is okay. That is not to say that I am not going to continue to try because I will not give up. Perhaps this trip just really wore me out and I am still trying to get through the jet-lag? Maybe this is what they refer to as a whirlwind.

This trip to Europe was one of the top ten things that have ever happened to me; it has given me some closure in a lot of ways. It seems like a fitting end to ones story who always wanted to go back like Alex Haley. The only thing that would have made it more special is if we could have taken the kids with us. I suppose we could have but, should something happen to me, I do not want Cha Cha stuck in a huge financial crisis. Our kids are both still young and we have sent them both on worldly adventures kind of similar to this. I know this may sound like a farewell but it is not. It is more of an awakening and, though I have always known how special life really is, I know mine may be more fragile now and I need to appreciate things at a more rapid pace. This trip was definitely fast-paced.

I woke-up several times tonight and was quite disoriented. I didn't remember where I was even though I was lying in bed in my bedroom, next to Jill. I felt like I was still in Europe. On the plane on the way home yesterday I had two episodes that my neurologists have labeled as seizures in the past. Nobody else could have even known they were occurring. I think the combination of the jet lag and the not sleeping more than three or four hours per night due to the time zone changes and excitement took it's toll on my cracked noodle.

I am going to begin writing many of the stories that I have been taking notes about for many years. When in the heck did I intend to begin writing? It's time to stop procrastinating - this is a personal call to action. Maybe a lot of it came from walking the streets and going to some of the same establishments where a lot of my writing muses hung-out. Maybe I am inspired by these same places or maybe I am inspired by them being inspired by them.

I cannot believe we still have to unpack, I also have to download many more photos. We put many of our photos from our phones on the An Idiot and a Broad Facebook page but I also took A LOT of photos with a camera? Do you remember cameras? I will find the cord, when I unpack, and I will upload some of those in the next day or two. We probably took too many pictures but how else am I supposed to remember everything we did and all that we saw?

I feel like I am having my third mini-seizure in two days right now. I am hoping that it is just the changing of time zones and jet lag and very little sleep. Taking my medicine on the trip was probably askew also. I think the body gets used to the meds being taken when they are taken and then, all of a sudden, those are the times that you're sleeping and you take the meds on the new time table. Then, as your body gets used to that, you are back on the original timetable and it will take a few days to get acclimated to that schedule again. I am hoping that is all that this is.

I am not certain where the next few days are headed but I think that is the great part of life. Aren't the best books and films the ones that surprise us? I like the twists and turns of life and I am okay with not having to control them. I do like to have a decision here and there that can help guide the story on occasion but there will always be outside forces that will agree or disagree.

I am running out of gas. I hope you have a great day. Thank you so much for being here and for letting us (Jill and I) share our trip with you. I hope you have a great day. I just went upstairs and Jill is getting this same cold that I have had off-and-on. Maybe we crammed way too much into a short period of time? Anyway, TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

Dorothy Gale Was Correct! No MATTer the Other Options!

I am so happy to be blogging again. The WiFi here in Europe, for the most part, is nothing like we are accustomed to in America. So now I am sitting looking out the window at Charles du Gaulle Aiport in Paris watching it rain like crazy outside. Our flight isn't for a couple of more hours. I have been pretty sick the last few days (stuffed-up, scratchy throat, sneezing, coughing...). I feel a bit better today though I only slept for a few hours last night. I am happy that we are flying business-class on the way home so I can just get in my pod and go to sleep for about seven-and-a-half hours. I will probably have a difficult time doing that because we will have those free movies again and I am sure I will pick one of two that I want to watch. I love movies and I love free.

I was sick right before we left to come to Europe too but, for most of the time here, I felt fine. I never let the cold keep me down though. I am not coming all the way over here and sleeping in a hotel room or on a boat or a train or with a goat or in the rain... We saw lots of really cool things. I imagine you have seen some of the photos on my Facebook page or on Jill's Facebook page or the An Idiot and a Broad page.

I have to say that most of the people that we encountered were very nice. The people of Luxembourg were probably the least friendly. Some of the French seemed very snooty, as we have been told, but more were nice than were snooty. Every other country had the courtesy to speak English but most of the French didn't. It made me think of THIS. I said that in my head over-and-over again while in Paris for a the couple of days.

I am actually kind of excited to get back home. Two weeks is a really long time to be away from home. It comes back the that old adage that you never truly appreciate something until it is gone.

Yesterday we went to Shakespeare and Company and I bought a few books. I have wanted to go there for quite some time but I didn't think I would ever have the opportunity - I was wrong. It used to be the gathering place of many famous writers like: Ernest Hemmingway, James Joyce, Ezra Pound, George Whitman, Henry Miller, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Matt In The Middle now...

I am falling asleep just sitting here typing. We milked just about every moment out of this trip. I think I am going to stop for now but I will probably be back tomorrow if I don't sleep the entire day away with this cold and getting acclimated to my new time zone again. And now they call that we are boarding...

It is now 15:14 Central Standard Time and we are home at our own house. Dorothy Gale was correct - though we had the time of our lives there really is "no place like home." Maybe we need to leave for  a while every now and again to appreciate what we take for granted occasionally.I could not post the blog (everything above this paragraph) because the WiFi in Europe is not nearly as good or as widely available as it is here in the US. Now that we are home I can blog regularly again; I love writing and I need the stress-relief outlet that it affords me. How did all of those famous writers that hung-out at Shakespeare and Company manage with the terrible WiFi?

I hope to get back on the regular blogging schedule again tomorrow. I still have lots of photos to post to the An Idiot and A Broad Facebook page. I took many photos with my camera but didn't bring the wire to upload them to the computer. Thanks for all the great comments on our vacation photos - believe me it was our pleasure. Have a great night - Jill is sleeping already and I will not be far behind her. TTTT....MITM (out) TA!

Pardon My French

It is 03:42 here and I am gonna blog before everybody else in Europe wakes-up and the WiFi slows down. I looked at my phone to see how the Cardinals did last night and they are tied 3 - 3 in the seventh inning because, back home, it is still yesterday (last night). So, now I am listening to the Cardinals game and, just as I typed that the Cardinals go ahead 4 - 3 with a Yadier Molina home run!

We spent almost the entire day in Rudesheim yesterday. In fact, we are still on the Rhine river in Rudesheim. We will be leaving here at 06:45 heading for Brodenbach and then onto Cochem. Yesterday we got to visit the wheelhouse of the ship and meet the captains. Of course, they were both tall and nice and good looking. Talk about having doppelgangers - we looked like triplets. I cannot believe we are going to visit a castle- again! This time it is Reichsburg Castle. Then, after all of that, we will have our farewell dinner before we head-off to Paris for a couple of days. I cannot wait; we all know that the French love Americans...NOT! I hear that they believe they are culturally superior to everyone in the world. I am going with an open mind and an open heart but I really hope they are not as rude as people say. I have seen a lot of, what I consider, rudeness by Americans over these past eight days but I know to take them on an individual, case-by-case basis. I hope to be pleasantly surprised by what I discover. I am always very polite and courteous almost always until provoked so I consider myself the perfect test subject. I hope to find out what "pardon my French" really means.

This just in - Cardinals won! But many of you knew that already last night which will be here some time today. How in the heck did H. G. Wells do this?

Speaking of the French we toured a German winery / vineyard yesterday. You may ask - how could visiting Schloss Johannisberg castle / vineyard  make you say "speaking of the French?" In 1803 Emperor Napoleon owned the castle / vineyard but the weather turned bad and he had several bad seasons. The property was transferred to the emperor of Austria in 1815 and then became the best century for wine in this region. Karma and wine must be linked in the cosmos. Maybe rudeness brings-on bad karma?

Blogging about royalty makes me think about how we have been treated on this trip. We have been given the royal treatment the entire time. I have never, ever, ever, had by bottom pampered this much. That is mainly because, when I wore diapers, they still had the cloth kind and Pampers weren't invented yet and Velcro was not a household name unless you were a cowboy (though I think they called them burrs).

  I'd go on the road to anywhere with the travelling partner I have 

My feet kind of ached last night from walking on all of the cobblestone streets for the past week. Yesterday, we walked almost 18,000 steps (17, 982 to be precise). I feel right as rain again this morning and I am ready to command more stones of cobble today. I have said it before but it bares repeating - I am having the literal time of my life and I have the best travelling partner since Bob Hope. I will say that I am Bing since Jill is not much of a singer and she's taller than me unless I am wearing my Italian shoes and my crushable hat. Had I mentioned that it is crushable? These Germans and their technology. That makes me think - the cars we see most here are Porshe, Volkswagen, BMW, Mercedes Benz, Audi, Skoda, Opel...

I will tell you about our trip to the Gutenberg Museum yesterday tomorrow is that makes sense and if I don't forget. I wish there were a way that I could print a reminder for myself.

Well, I believe I will have to end now and run like smoke n'oakem (or is that Cochem?). I have to shower and begin to think about packing because I think that may be a day-long project so I will cut-it-down into three or four smaller projects. Have a great day- I know that is my plan. I will, except for unseen circumstances, blog tomorrow. TTTT...MIMG (Matt In Middle Germany)... aus (weidersehen). TA!

A Statue of Me at the Castle? Have Fun Storming the Castle!

I may have found out why I was not allowed to promote the blog the other day. Today, as I began writing the

 I cannot believe how quickly they had a statue of me commissioned

blog. I received this link...

"European Union laws require you to give European Union visitors information about cookies used on your blog. In many cases, these laws also require you to obtain consent. 

As a courtesy, we have added a notice on your blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies. 

You are responsible for confirming this notice actually works for your blog, and that it displays. If you employ other cookies, for example by adding third party features, this notice may not work for you. Learn more about this notice and your responsibilities."

I am not sure if this is a form of censorship or more of a form of responsibility and responsible journalism. I must admit that I have not read the entire notice because, when I hit the link, it was all in German. It appears that the Germans are just more responsible with the internet than we are in the U S and A..

Yesterday we spent a lot of the day on the town of my birth. Heidelberg is a beautiful city. I don't think I am worthy of being from a town like Heidelberg. I guess I am just like everybody else from here; I always say that we are all pretty much the same so I suppose I have to add myself to that list too.

I think I am not going to drink anymore. I had not had alcohol for quite awhile but, I guess I got the old "when in Rome Germany do as the Romans Germans do" syndrome. Last night I felt like I was back in college. I was pretty drunk (Malibu and beer and champagne - not at the same time) when I staggered back to the Explorer Suite. They a music trivia contest last night and I joined a team as a fifth wheel (Cha Cha was too tired). We called team The BOBs (BOB is an acronym for Back On Board referring to when we are in port in one of the many bergs that we have and are visiting). As you might imagine, The BOBs won the contest beating eight or nine other teams. I was waiting for my voucher for my free trip to anywhere in the world when our prize, a bottle of champagne arrives. Oh no, I have to postpone my new no drinking rule for at least one day - I forgot that we have signed-up for a trip to a vineyard that includes a wine-tasting (of course - we are in Germany you know). 

Probably not a matchstick tycoon afterall

When we were in Heidelberg yesterday we bought some cigars. I also bought a Heidelberg Zippo lighter because he was my favorite of the Marx Brothers or Donald Duck's nephews or something. The guy asked if I wanted fuel in the lighter but said it would be difficult to take on a plane with the fuel in it so he gave me a free box of matches to use while we are here. The cigar I bought is a Cohiba - I figured, since we are probably going to open trade with Cuba again I may as well have another Cohiba before they make then inferior and charge more to the Americans who buy them at Wal-Mart. I didn't look at the matches until much later and they are Holzer Matches. I don't if you read, and or remember, the blog where I learned that my family name, before coming the the U S and A, was Holzer even though I had always been incorrectly told that it was Holzhauer. Thank goodness for the internet with its cookies so I could not think I were related to the low-class Holzhauers instead of the MIDDLE class Holzers who own a stick match company. I cannot believe I may be an heir to a stick match fortune. Now that I think about it - that might just be saying that they are holzer or wooden (in English) matches - and other get-rich-quick hope down the drain.I guess EUROPA is the company name - darn darn darn. I never really thought about it but I may be related to many of the people with the surname Wood that I know and have known?!

It is getting kind of late into the morning (08:30 here now) and we have lots to do today. I will have to wait until tonight to stop drinking I guess (does wine even count as drinking?). Have a great day and thank you for taking the journey with us. Talking to you about it each day reminds me to appreciate this trip and you. Have a great day. Guten tag und danka schon....TTFN...MITM (out) TA! 

Where Did I Leave My Keys - good thing they didn't need keys

 I am holding as fast as I can 

I cannot imagine that anybody would have complained about this blog but, for some reason, someone either does not like the blog, I offended someone, I am infringing on someone's copy-written material or any number of other reasons I was not allowed to link the blog to my Facebook pages yesterday as I have done many, many times. I make no money off the blog as I do not charge anything for it. I just like to write and it makes me smile to know that other people read it and, perhaps, it makes them smile from time-to-time too. I will keep writing and I will figure ways to tell people when the new blogs are ready. I do not mean to offend anyone - quite the opposite, actually. Okay, now on with the blog that people may or may not be able to read.

I cannot believe I am getting such a good WiFi signal in the MIDDLE of the Rhine River. Maybe it is because everybody else, save the Captain and crew, are fast asleep.

Today we are going to visit Heidelberg, Germany. I am going to try to get to the hospital where I was born but I am not completely sure that I will be able to do that. I can, at the very least, try to get to where it is and see it from afar or amiddle in my case. I know I am often a bit draMATTic or melodraMATTic but, I will soon be breathing the air in the same place where I took my first breath. I wanted to be there last night but I am not supposed to open my presents on Christmas Eve so I will have to wait for Sinterklaas to finish his rounds.

 I felt like holiday was over and I was at home. Which of the 400 rooms did I leave my keys in? 

Yesterday, while we were walking around inside of the Wurzburg Residence (most people would call it a castle) I couldn't help but think how fortunate Jill and I are to be together and, for the time being, in good health. It was not long ago at all that we thought she was going to be dead and then I would not be able to remember who she had even been. Thankfully, we were not sick at the same time (one right after the other though) because we both drew off of each others energy and strength and our love. While I was looking at all of the ornate decorations and opulence I thought about that and about many, many of you. Once my thoughts reach your tome zone your ears will probably begin ringing like mission bells. Quite a few of you (maybe all of you) have faced some difficult or tying times over the past several months. I just hope that you know that the hard times make us appreciate the good times and there is always a rainbow at the end of a storm. Sometimes we don't see the rainbow and sometimes we have to look really hard to find it but I assure you that it is there. Hang in there baby!

I have had several ideas about things to write about. Some of these ideas I hope to write as short stories and some I will write about here in the blog. The places that we have visited so far are so inspiring to me. As I research many of the ideas I have I will be better able to decide what is worth pursuing and which are not.

It is 02:42 and I have the alarm set for 06:00 so we can eat before we go ashore. I just needed you to know that, even one-quarter the way around the world, I am still thinking about you. Now to try see if it is any easier to post the blog today. Have a great day - that is what I am going to do (I practice what I preach blog). Thanks for stopping by my fatherland / motherland; I love to have you here with me in heart and soul. TTTT (as long as I can get a WiFi signal)... MITM (out) TA!

The Ultimate Love Hate Trip (mostly love)

Hey, there's an Italian boat following us. Our back deck sits right on the water

I really wish that I could blog more but I have been having an awful time trying to get internet access or a cell phone signal in the Czech Republic and now in Germany. Fortunately, we are now on the ship (Viking Odin) that we will call home for the next ten days or so. We have one of the two Explorer Suites on the ship and I am sitting in our rear deck (I will call it the poop deck) while Cha Cha is still asleep in the bedroom. We have a deck on the port side as well that wraps around to this one. I am happy that we spent the extra money to get this suite; later I will video the room and post it up on our An Idiot and A Broad Facebook page.Yesterday was a very nice day. Cha Cha and I went and took a tour of Prague Castle. Then we went to Old Town Square where we saw many beautiful buildings and then we walked across The Charles Bridge we ate lunch at El Toro Negro Steak Bar (I had the cod) but, I did have two beers since there are over 500 breweries in Prague. We saw the place where Mozart played when he was in Prague (no town in the country that I live in can even say Amadeus went there, let alone played there. After lunch we walked the two miles or so back to the hotel in the heat.

Incidentally. we have to go through 48 locks on the Main and Rhine rivers. I sat on the stern for the first one because I am easily amused.

It is still really weird getting used to the time difference between here and home. It is 06:32 here right now and, at our home port, it is 23:32 now. One of the nice things about blogging and posting photos is that you can access them anytime that is convenient to your schedule and we will just post things whenever we are able. Mainly. at this point, when we are on the ship as our devises do not seem to be too compatible with the local WiFis.

Where the Nazis were trained to hate efficiently

This trip is truly the time of my life. I wish we could have brought the kids with us but, now that we are on the ship, we are the youngest people on the boat by quite a bit so our kids would have felt really weird with all of us MIDDLE and Older fogies. I get to spend a couple of weeks with the best friend I have ever had while seeing some of the most beautiful cities and meet some of the most wonderful people.

Yesterday, we visited one of the most hateful places (I will call it a fuse because it is where Adolph Hitler trained and rallied his Nazi soldiers / storm troopers) probably on the face of the Earth. Of course, there are worse places like the Concentration Camps and things. I could not help but feel sad being there and thinking about what had begun there. I loved the stories of how the Nazis wanted this place torn down so, eventually, there would be no concrete (literally and figuratively) evidence of what they had done. This is a proof that the millions and millions of murders that were perpetuated in the names of greed and hate and world domination and insanity were real and that cannot ever be disputed. I love that they use this place for concerts and drag races and things that would drive the Nazi Party insane. The guide that we had there told us about there had recently been a former high school band called Acey Deucey or something that recently played here. I consulted my notes and I guess the name of that former high school band was actually AC/DC. We were told how school trips are taken here and it proves to the children that this is part of they past and nobody can deny it.

It is so weird that there are only two Explorer Suites on this ship and we hooked-up (for dinner only) with the couple who have the other Explorer Suite. We ate dinner together and it was eerie how similar our stories are. The wife (Rose) had been very sick which is one of the reasons they decided to take this cruise. The husband's name is Bob in case I mentioned Rose and Bob. I do worry that her name is Rose and I think that was Kate Winslet's name in Titanic.

I don't know who these people are but I am happy to have them in my pants (pocket)

I think I forgot to tell you that I recouped my money ate the casino the other afternoon. After Cha Cha and I went and took a tour of Prague Castle we then went to Old Town Square where we saw many beautiful buildings. We then walked across The Charles Bridge where we ate lunch at El Toro Negro Steak Bar (I had the cod) but, I did have two beers since there are over 500 breweries in Prague. We saw the place where Mozart played when he was in Prague (no town in the country that I live in can even say Amadeus went there, let alone played there). After lunch we walked the two miles or so back to the hotel in the heat. Jill doesn't handle the heat well so, when we got back, she took a nap. What is a Matt to do? There was that casino down stairs... I won all of the Czech Kronus I had lost the previous day plus about 2,000 more. I had quite a stack of chips that probably added up to about $300 to $500 maybe. I hope I get to play some cards in Germany or Paris though that is only if I am killing time by myself.

I have to wrap-up and get into the shower. We signed-up for a village tour of Bamberg Germany this morning. I will probably be able to blog again tomorrow. I think this is Sunday so don't get used to me blogging on Sundays - it just worked out this way today. We are waiting to get through a set of locks now and tomorrow we have to go through 43 locks (I don;t know if they are a set of locks or what they are called). Thank you for stopping by - Jill and I will continue to post some photos to the An Idiot and A Broad Facebook page. I hope you are having as much fun in U S and A as we are having in Europe. Auf Wiedersehen.... Matthias in the MIDDLE of Europe (AUS) TA!

It's Simple KISMATT

 A hotel in the MIDDLE of town with a casino? And I didn't even pick it? KISMET! 

I have not blogged using my phone but will give it a shot for old time sake. I could use my computer but I am afraid it would lose power before I completed writing it. I have the charger but, being in the Czech Republic,  I cannot plug the charger in. I bought one of those international converters but it does not accommodate three - pronged chargers. I am just happy to be blogging at all. I have no idea what time it is but my phone says it's 01:18 and my computer says it's 06:18. Hold-on… It is 18:18 at home and it is 01:18 here. I guess that means my sleeping is out of whack. I had not slept for nearly three days and I slept last night until 01:00 this morning which is still last night at home at home. I suppose this is why the super-wealthy move their money so much; they can get interest more often maybe? I will never know that stress.

We are currently staying in the Hilton in Prague. Imagine my excitement when I learned there was a casino right in the hotel. I collect poker chips - what else would a degenerate collect? They are like little bitty pieces of art. I am not a big drinker (actually, I rarely drink any alcohol at all for the past year or so) and hookers carry disease (so I am told)… So, I went down there yesterday afternoon to get a chip and I had 500 korunas (called crowns here) burning a whole in my pocket. So, I sad down at a blackjack table and got five 100 crown chips. I quickly turned my 500 into 2000 (okay, it wasn't quickly) and cashed-out. Of course, I tipped the dealer a couple hundred crowns and kept one of the 100's for my collection.  One dollar is roughly 24.23 korunas. I do not know why I collect chips but I love the thrill of gambling and I love competition. It was early so it was just one guy and I sitting at the table and nothing else was going on. He appeared to be of of MIDDLE Eastern decent. Blackjack pretty much only requires one to be able to add to twenty-one and know a little bit of strategy. A good memory and the ability to count cards would come in handy buy, apparently, that is not required on a short-term basis as someone with a poor memory these days (your's truly) did pretty well in a short time. We are here one more night and then we move to Germany. Maybe I will go to the casino a little later tonight so I can play some Texas Hold'em. Hold'em, like Blackjack, is the same the world-over other than the currency of the chips. Gambling is kind of a universal language.

Cha Cha found Captain Obvious working at London Heathrow yesterday

It is really weird to be listening to the St. Louis Cardinals losing 7 - 0 in the first inning at almost 2AM. The Cards have not even batted yet and they are already behind by seven? At least they will have a lot of chances to score runs with nine innings of batting remaining.

Today we are going on some kind of walking-tour in town. We will see some castle and other historic places. BLOG break - Cardinals just scored two runs in the bottom of the first inning. They are chopping away at that deficit. Anyway, in addition the castle, we will see the 15th century astronomical clock. It is the oldest working astronomical clock in the world. That is one of the things that I have been looking forward to seeing here in the Czech Republic for some reason. Today will set the entire climate of what tours we will join and which days will be on our own. I predict, after today, we will be doing stuff alone as a happy couple. Most of the people on this trip with us are really annoying. Maybe that is just travel fatigue talking? We could be about 85% of these people's grandchildren. Maybe I am just tired because it's 02:16 in the morning and I have had five hours of sleep in four days. Maybe I will go back to sleep for about four hours but, I bet that casino down stairs is hopping' right now.

Pretty sure there was a camera above that urinal

Incidentally, the people in this town are all so nice. And, they are fit and most of them are great looking. Cha Cha and I fit right in here. Other than not speaking the language. I am pretty sure that everyone here thinks we are Czech. We are just going to act like we are deaf for the remainder of our time in this town. And, since we are always together. we are Czech Mates! HA, I crack me up when I am sleep deprived.

The bathrooms are so much different here than in American. I suppose a lot of it is because they like to conserve water... but I further think it may be for hidden camera shows. I am almost certain that Benny Hill or someone installed cameras above all of the urinals in Heathrow Airport. I am semi-serious about the cameras (bot blaming Benny Hill). There was a smoked-brown screen in that space above the urinal there and it looked like a camera behind it. I guess it could have just been plumbing or something. Anyway, maybe I will be a British star soon?

Thank you for stopping by and keeping everything running properly back in the states. I hope you have a great day while we are sweating our butts off with the metric temperatures. I will try to blog again tomorrow but, who knows what the day might bring? TTTT (most likely depending on time and connectivity)…MITM (out) TA!

Proud To Be a Simpleton

What a special day it is today - it is Cha Cha's 29thish birthday. I wonder how old she is using the metric system. We will be able to find out later tonight as we will be living the metric system then. As a gift for her American Airlines is allowing her to hang-out in the Admirals Club at the airport before our flight this afternoon. I also just saw that there is an Admirals Club in Paris as well so we will get to check-out that Admirals Club too if we decide to come back to the U S and A. I just looked at the English to French translation of Admirals Club and it is Admirals Club. How in the heck am I ever supposed to remember that? It is so weird what little things can excite me. I have a feeling, over the next twelve days, it is going to seem like Christmas morning every single day to me. That is why it is so advantageous to be a simpleton. People think that it is a disadvantage to being a simpleton when, in fact, it is an advantage in life. A simpleton can appreciate the simpler things in the world - it's right there in our title. And, less is expected of you. Will Admirals Clubs have little birthday cakes? How un-Admiral Club like will it be to take photos for the An Idiot and a Broad page? It doesn't MATTer - I am a boob and, who doesn't love boobs? I won't use the selfie stick in there though.

The car will pick us up in about five hours. I do not even know if I am packed correctly. I suppose you don't ever really know that you packed incorrectly until you don't have what you need. Since we have been packing on-and-off for about a month I really hope we have thought of most things. If not, we can write it off to being stupid Americans. It's not like we cannot buy whatever we need in the stores throughout the world but who wants metric socks and trousers (that is European word for pants or britches). Actually, the clothes will be a bit less expensive there as I believe the exchange rate (Euro to Dollar) is like $1.11 to $1.00 right now so it's like getting 11% off of everything we buy. We probably shouldn't have packed anything; we should have just waiting and bought out outfits each day as needed. But they may not have the excess like we do so maybe he prices would be higher because they don't have to have sales on all of their surpluses of everything. I don't believe they are as much throw-away societies as we are so there are not as many "sales." I am just guessing on that last part; I will know better tomorrow.

As a going-away gift the St. Louis Cardinals beat the Pittsburgh Pirates last night. I wonder if I will be the only person in Europe listening to the Cardinals' games on his phone.

I want to blog but I am so distracted with thoughts of something else (that which I will not mention because I have mentioned it in just about every paragraph that I have written for the last several weeks). I will look at the news.

Hey, Melissa Gilbert is looking at running for Congress. I am guilty of being a big fan of Little House on the Prairie so this caught my attention. I never watched it when it was in first-run back in the 70's but I began watching it in the late 1990's - early 2000's. It drives Jill crazy that I like that show for some reason. Anyway, Gilbert played Laura Ingalls Wilder in Little House. I just found out that she is married to Timothy Busfield. He was an okay actor too. She is running as a Democrat in her district that has been pretty-much been Republican for as long as anybody can remember. Hey, Melissa Gilbert is 51 (that's exactly how old Jill is as of today). For the next month and two days Cha Cha and Half Pint and I are the same ages. Anyway, after my digression, She was the President of the Screen Actor's Guild so that is kind of like Congress in Michigan. One thing that may hurt her is that she has an IRS lien against her because they say she owes $360,000 in back taxes. Yep, it sounds like she is ready for politics - she'll fit right in.

I just had to run over and add a new Pandora station before I would forget. I had to add a Randy Newman station; he is a fun musician. While I was adding it John Fogerty came on (John Fogerty station) with "Centerfield;" man, I love that song. Jill loves, loves, loves John Fogerty. When we were at a dinner party a couple of weeks ago Jill left the room and a couple of people started talking about Fogerty. One guy knew his brother and his daughter ended-up meeting Fogerty and another guy recorded his drummer just a few weeks before. When Jill came back I told her what she had missed and they all had to retell their stories. Why can't we have DVR-like things for our lives? I guess we could just video huh?

 Prague is on my TODO list for today 

Jill just posted a photo of Prague on her Facebook page (see, how excited I am? I cannot go more that two paragraphs without wandering back to this topic). Prague is one of the few cities that wasn't destroyed by World War II bombings so it looks beautiful and very old. It is a good way to kick off or trip (after London - Heathrow more precisely).

I should end now. I have to put the finishing touches on my packing. I will try to blog over the next two weeks but I am not completely sure how the connectivity will be. It sounds like it will work well but what are they gonna tell us that is stinks? I will also try to put photos on the An Idiot and A Broad Facebook page each day. Do not worry of you don't hear from us for a day or two because we are gonna suck everything we can out of this trip and, when we return, we will probably sleep for two days straight. Have a great day and thank you for coming by as much as you do. It makes me so happy to know that you stop-in so often. I hope you have a great day and nigh and, depending on what time zone I am in, I will blog tomorrow somewhere. TTTT (someplace in the world) TA!

Andy Tea-ylor and Helen Crumpets

I hope we get this room when we stay in Paris at the end

I cannot believe tomorrow afternoon is Christmas already. I mean, when we head to Europe. I went over the entire itinerary yesterday afternoon into the early evening and I am even more excited than I was before. I looked at the hotel we're staying at in Paris (The Pullman Paris Eiffel Tower) and I could hit the Eiffel Tower with a pitching wedge shot: a 9-iron would be too much club. Would that create an international incident if I hit the Eiffel Tower with a golf ball from my hotel balcony? I hear the French don't care much for we Yankees anyway. I hope they don;t make me call them Frogs. I also am having a hard time comprehending that, when we fly home from Paris (leaving at 9:25 AM) and we fly for 9 1/2 hours that we will arrive in Chicago at 11:55 AM the same day. I guess we will find out what jet lag is really all about, huh? It's like flying through a wormhole or something. I know the Bermuda Triangle isn't in our flight path - or is it? I am so glad that we are not driving into and out of the airport.

All the research I am doing for the trip is teaching me so many other things. I have learned so much more about Oskar Schindler than I learned from the book and the film Schindler's List. I didn't realize he was born in the Czech Republic (and a Czech citizen) and I didn't know that he died in Hildesheim, Germany in 1974. I know the film showed that he was primarily a businessman who found a conscious and a heart but it sounds like he was kind of a shyster. Not a shyster like a lawyer but like a shifty businessman. I think he more than made up for it with the good that he did. His good business sense is what, in the end, saved so many lives. I also learned that he is the only member of the Nazi Party that was buried in Mount Zion in Jerusalem though that may have been mentioned at the end of the film. I may have to pop that DVD in again before we head East.

I finally found out who Clarence Birdseye is!

It is so nice not to be leaving until after noon. For some reason we usually travel in the morning. This seems so much more relaxing to me. Cha Cha and I have both taken note that, from now on, when it is possible, we are not going to catch the worm on day one. Who likes worms anyway (birds and fish)? At least early birds apparently - maybe they should learn to read so they can look at magazines in the waiting room instead of eating worms.

I cannot believe that, with my life at least half-over, I can still get this excited about things. It always seemed like my grandparents never got excited about anything. Have times changed that much or have we all changed? Or, am I the odd one - please do not dignify that last question with a response!

I added some photos to the An Idiot and A Broad Facebook page this morning. I expect to be adding a lot more over the next couple of weeks. I made these into their own albums and I intend to do that with the ones following as well if I can remember how I did it. I hope to be able to continue blogging and posting during down-times on our trip. It will be odd since I usually blog in the mornings and mornings there may not be mornings where you are. I do know that people in other part of the world read the blog so maybe, for a couple of weeks, it will be more convenient for your schedules (I pronounced it "shed you'lls" when I typed it this time).

Helen Crumpets from Mayberry

Luckily Jill (thank you to her boss Pam) looked at her drivers' license yesterday because, with tomorrow being her birthday, her drivers' license expires tomorrow. That would have cause some problems abroad. She is at the DMV right now getting it renewed. I think it will be fun to get her a little birthday cake tomorrow in London. I would say, besides America, England and British culture is her favorite country/lifestyle. What a special treat that we get to spend four hours in London on her birthday before eventually making it to the city where I was on my birth day (the actual day of my birth). In England I am going to have fish and chips and some birthday cake. Perhaps tea and crumpets too though I am not sure what crumpets are. Maybe I will have an English muffin instead (same thing different name?).

I still have lots to get done today though I am pretty happy with the progress. I may mow the lawn today because, if I don't, I will have worse withdrawals while I am gone. There will still be a gaggle of people here while we are gone but I doubt that the lawn would be mowed in our absence. I hope you have a great day - it seems nice here today. With the rain from yesterday it could either be cooler or more humid. Thank you for popping-in today and thank you for your comments on the new Facebook page (An Idiot and A Broad). I really like knowing that you stop in here whenever your can. The blog may get more exciting over the next few weeks or, based on connectivity, you may think we're dead. Isn't that exciting?! TTTT (launch day)...MITM (out) TA!!