Let the Topsy-Turvy Jet Lag Begin (or continue)

It is very early (02:17) on Tuesday morning as I writing this. I am sure that my inner-clock is really messed-up with the different time zones and the topsy-turviness of the last few weeks. Please do not be sad by what I am about to write because I am not sad and I have pretty-well come to grips with where I appear to be headed (no pun intended with "head"ed). In a way, I consider what has and is happening with my mind kind of a blessing. I have been wound pretty tightly, mentally, for many years and, when something is wound too tightly for too long it either snaps or just becomes very relaxed; I would say that I am headed in the relaxed direction which is good because I look a lot fatter in white coats. However, the relaxed direction many times puts a lot more pressure and heartache on the family - I do not want that either. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to get 100% better and that is okay. That is not to say that I am not going to continue to try because I will not give up. Perhaps this trip just really wore me out and I am still trying to get through the jet-lag? Maybe this is what they refer to as a whirlwind.

This trip to Europe was one of the top ten things that have ever happened to me; it has given me some closure in a lot of ways. It seems like a fitting end to ones story who always wanted to go back like Alex Haley. The only thing that would have made it more special is if we could have taken the kids with us. I suppose we could have but, should something happen to me, I do not want Cha Cha stuck in a huge financial crisis. Our kids are both still young and we have sent them both on worldly adventures kind of similar to this. I know this may sound like a farewell but it is not. It is more of an awakening and, though I have always known how special life really is, I know mine may be more fragile now and I need to appreciate things at a more rapid pace. This trip was definitely fast-paced.

I woke-up several times tonight and was quite disoriented. I didn't remember where I was even though I was lying in bed in my bedroom, next to Jill. I felt like I was still in Europe. On the plane on the way home yesterday I had two episodes that my neurologists have labeled as seizures in the past. Nobody else could have even known they were occurring. I think the combination of the jet lag and the not sleeping more than three or four hours per night due to the time zone changes and excitement took it's toll on my cracked noodle.

I am going to begin writing many of the stories that I have been taking notes about for many years. When in the heck did I intend to begin writing? It's time to stop procrastinating - this is a personal call to action. Maybe a lot of it came from walking the streets and going to some of the same establishments where a lot of my writing muses hung-out. Maybe I am inspired by these same places or maybe I am inspired by them being inspired by them.

I cannot believe we still have to unpack, I also have to download many more photos. We put many of our photos from our phones on the An Idiot and a Broad Facebook page but I also took A LOT of photos with a camera? Do you remember cameras? I will find the cord, when I unpack, and I will upload some of those in the next day or two. We probably took too many pictures but how else am I supposed to remember everything we did and all that we saw?

I feel like I am having my third mini-seizure in two days right now. I am hoping that it is just the changing of time zones and jet lag and very little sleep. Taking my medicine on the trip was probably askew also. I think the body gets used to the meds being taken when they are taken and then, all of a sudden, those are the times that you're sleeping and you take the meds on the new time table. Then, as your body gets used to that, you are back on the original timetable and it will take a few days to get acclimated to that schedule again. I am hoping that is all that this is.

I am not certain where the next few days are headed but I think that is the great part of life. Aren't the best books and films the ones that surprise us? I like the twists and turns of life and I am okay with not having to control them. I do like to have a decision here and there that can help guide the story on occasion but there will always be outside forces that will agree or disagree.

I am running out of gas. I hope you have a great day. Thank you so much for being here and for letting us (Jill and I) share our trip with you. I hope you have a great day. I just went upstairs and Jill is getting this same cold that I have had off-and-on. Maybe we crammed way too much into a short period of time? Anyway, TTTT...MITM (out) TA!