Blog! I'm Gonna Blog Forever!

I went to Sportclips yesterday as predicted on yesterday's blog and I got everything but the happy ending though I was pretty happy at the end. I got a haircut, of course, but then after that I was taken to a room in the back. I had been to one like that in Las Vegas at the Spearmint Rhino but this was a little different; they had the lights on here. I sat in the chair and she (Ashley - is that her real name or her hair-cutting name?) went down by my feet and raised a foot stool thingy and hit a switch that made the entire chair vibrate. Then she put a hot towel on my face that smelled like wintergreen (I love wintergreen). While that was all going on she massaged my scalp and then got out a vibrator and massaged my neck and shoulders. All this and ESPN was playing on five televisions within my view. Install a pole and I will get a haircut once a week.

A couple of nights ago I rented The Dictator. I am a big fan of Sasha Baron Cohen (SBC). I liked Borat and I liked Bruno and I liked him in Talladega Nights so I figured I would like this one too. It made me laugh out loud a few times but it was not as good as his previous two films. I think the hardest I laughed was before the film started a photo of Kim Jong Il came on and the words read "In Loving Memory of Kim Jong Il." I don't know why but that cracked me up. I just like the shock-factor of SBC's movies the most. I was surprised that Ben Kingsley was in this movie; hasn't he won a couple of Academy Awards? I am just guessing and not going to look but if he didn't win for Gandhi and Schindler's List he was robbed. Hey, when are the Academy Awards? I think we should try to see all of the films that are nominated for Best Picture this coming awards and do our own Academy Awards show on Dirty Laundry Podcast. Anna Faris was in the movie and I have "liked her long time." If you are an SBC fan I think you'll like this film okay but you probably won't love it. I liked it - did not love it. Charlie Chapain's version was better though...and A LOT different. Also surprising me in the film (not Chaplin's) were: Megan Fox (funny part), John C. Reilly (big fan), Garry Shandling (very, very big fan) and Edward Norton (a huge fan). There were also many former Saturday Night Live alums in the mix.

Did you hear that the original Glee is going to be a television series? It was called Fame and I heard that they are currently casting for the new Fame. They said it was gonna "live forever" and I guess THEY were right. It is going to be produced by the people who did So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol. If it is anything like the old Fame it will be more about the struggles of trying to reach fame. I imagine there will be a movie first and then the series...that's how it happened last time. I hope Irene Kara is one of the teachers...that's what I would try to do if I were casting the show.

Have you ever seen the film There Will Be Blood? It's a really good movie and I just learned that there is a film coming out that looks a lot in the same vein called The Master. I originally heard it was a sequel but I am not sure that it is. It is opening on my birthday (September 14th if you're keeping score). Maybe that is only the day of the Los Angeles premiere I am not really sure. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams and an actor that looks a lot like a person who vowed never to act again Joaquin Phoenix (oh, it is Joaquin Phoenix). I tend to like these epic-types of films. Speaking of that how come I never see The Razor's Edge anywhere? The Bill Murray one not the original. I think I saw that movie at the theater when I was in college and I really liked it even though it almost ruined Murray's career because the experts didn't care for it. It was really not a typical Bill Murray film and I think the critics want what they want from different actors. I just searched HULU and it isn't there but there is a lot of new cool stuff there that I will probably check-out.
I have to wrap-up because I have to deal with my automobile insurance company. I am so infuriated with them right now. I am still convinced that they are going to make right with their negligence and ineptitude so I am not going to mention them by name but, suffice it to say, that if this situation I am dealing with them about is not rectified the way that I have the scenario played-out in my mind I am going to Geico or Progressive and save the money from having an agency who can screw-up the whole thing. Get rid of the MIDDLEman and there are less chances for errors and get rid of someone who needs to take a cut causing the prices to be higher. And now, when I call, they are playing the holiday weekend card. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Have a great Frinight. TTTT (probably). MITM (out) TA!

Everybody Hates MITM!

I am so tired of politics already. I was up in the MIDDLE of the night, I am sure you're not surprised, and Everybody Hates Chris was on. I had just finished doing some reading and I turned it on as background noise to try to fall to sleep to (approximately 3AM, I think). I really like that show and don't know if it was just a coincidence or they played this particular episode on purpose. Chris stepped outside of his apartment into a snow storm and he said something along the lines of, "I haven't seen this much white since the Republican National Convention." It was an episode from, I think 2009, and it really rang true to what I have seen very recently. I have been watching some of the Republican National Convention and I have watched the audience and I have not seen even one person who wasn't white. Not only that, I have not seen one person who appears younger than 60ish. So, the Republican Party, it appears to me, is a bunch of old white people. I have nothing against old white people since I am half of that demographic who is quickly approaching the other half of that demographic but that doesn't represent our tossed salad of a country (some people call it a melting pot but, let's be honest, we are more of a tossed salad than a melting pot). Maybe even more of a relish tray since most of we veggies still remain in our own compartments and some of we celery stalks spill over into the carrot or radish areas and visa versa.

What stops atheists or agnostics from lying in court? Does it really MATTer to them if they lie after agreeing tell the truth, the whole truth,"so help you God."

Did you hear that chocolate is good for you now? Supposedly men who eat chocolate regularly are 17% less likely to have a stroke. I am sure this is a study conducting in Hershey, Pennsylvania or somewhere like that. I cannot believe this is true because chocolate contains caffeine and caffeine accelerated the hear rate which, I would think, would increase chances of a heart attack. I am not really sure what the difference and a heart attack is but I know they both have something to do with the heart. It just amuses me how there are studies to support everything in every direction. It all comes down to money and industries trying to get people to spend their hard earned cash on their products.

I heard the Charlie Sheen's new show, Anger Management, just got promised another 90 episodes. I have never seen the show and I won't. I have a problem rewarding the kind of behavior Sheen had been displaying. If it had been one or two incidents I would think differently but he has a definite problem. Lindsay Lohan is the same way and I thought she had talent too but I won't watch anything she is in either. Obviously, I won't watch the new Scary Movie even though I think I heard that they will both killed in the opening sequence. I have not seen any of those movies either because they look stupid but it makes sense for them to hire Sheen and Lohan based on my assessment of those films (good match). Now I hear that Brett Favre is being attacked for texting racy comments to some New York message therapists trying to solicit sex. There were talks about him sending photos of little Brett to an employee of the New York Jets but he definitely has a problem too. And to think that Mary (Something About Mary) left Ben Stiller to go back to Brett. Sorry for that spoiler without an alert but that movie is from 1998 and if you haven't seen it my now you will probably wait until Will Smith's or Michael Jackson's kids remake it in a couple of years and then it will be with Tim Tebow or Eli Manning or something.

I believe I am going to get a haircut today. I don't know how I handle all of the excitement in my life. I think I am going to go to Sportclips. We have a new one out here in the corn. My last haircut was during the Houston Astros game in centerfield by the good people at Sportclips. It is the only time I have ever appeared on a Jumbo-Tron. Minute Maid Park, but I will call it the Astrodome because that sounds cooler, is a pretty good place to lose my Jumbo-Tron virginity.


I listened to Dirty Laundry Podcast last night and I cannot wait to get guests into our new Kajunkles Studio. I am excited that summer is almost over because it seems to be easier to get guests on the show in the fall and winter. We already have four or five lined-up for the coming couple of months. I guess people would rather do stuff outside in the summer than travel to a studio in the MIDDLE of a bunch of corn in the summer. Speaking of travel I really am hankering to go back down to Hannibal, Missouri. I don't know why I love that town so much. It's not very far for me so maybe I will go down there some Tuesday afternoon and just come home Wednesday night. I bet I could pick up Nature Girl on the way - she'd go with me. I feel like I am just called to that town every now and then. Is it Sam Clemens? Is it the Big Muddy, Old Miss, Old Man River? Is it "The Unsinkable" Molly Brown (did you even know she was from there)? I have the same feeling about Key West but that's a little further. Maybe it's because they are both really old towns that still have the old time feel. There is a lot of history and romance surrounded by these towns. I am blogging poetic and that usually means it's time to wrap it up.

Thanks for stopping in. I hope you have a great day; it's supposed to be a hot one again in the MIDDLEwest. I will most likely blog again tomorrow; I have been in a writing mood quite a bit lately since starting to read 11/22/63. I guess if I want to write my novel I need to read - that seems to make me want to write. I suppose that makes sense in some weird Matt In The Middle sorta way. Do something nice for yourself today!!!! TTTT...MITM (unsinkably out!)

Welcome to the MITM Time Machine! (hold on tight)

I got into bed about two hours ago but I cannot sleep. I began reading my book to try to get sleepy and then I began thinking about the story I have have had kicking around in my head for a couple of months. Out of nowhere the "twist" of my story materialized in my mind and now all I am doing is thinking about the story I believe I was destined to write and I have been scribbling notes. This has happened to me many times over the years and I have about eleven unfinished novels in various boxes and briefcases around here. I suppose after I get the first of these now twelve books published the other eleven should be easier. I hope I can get one written before books no longer exist. I am at a place in my life now where I am not shackled to my job and when I come home from work I am home; almost all of my other jobs since getting out of college have required me to be a slave to my job during all of my waking hours whether home or on vacation or at work. This may also explain why I am a much better person to be around than I have been in quite a few years. Instead of becoming a crotchety old man I am becoming better with age. Not like wine but more like cheese. The kind where the mold actually makes the cheese taste better.

Luckily, I am off of work tomorrow (today). I do have to get up early (it's 2:08 AM right now and I need to get up at 6:30) because it's Fabio's first day of school today (in five hours). I cannot get my story out of my head so I am quite distracted here.

Cha Cha and I recorded Dirty Laundry Podcast about five hours ago. It's not ready to be heard because I have not edited it yet. I could have had that done over the past five hours but I actually thought I would be asleep by now or I would have edited it. That's why I don't get paid to think on my days off.

Okay, it's 2:19AM now and I am going to try to get four hours of rack time. I will let you know how that goes when I finish this blog later this morning (you won't even know I was gone - unless I die and then you will never even know I wrote this unless someone finds it and says, "this is the last thing he ever wrote before he died" and they hit "publish" and then I will be the first person to have blogged from the other side). Now it is 2:22AM and I am taking a break right here....

Happy to be back!

Okay, welcome back from the Matt In The Middle Time Machine! I think I am still Alive! It is now 1:53PM. You have traveled nearly twelve hours in a MATTer of a few seconds. Do you feel dizzy? Take a moment to regain your equilibrium. I slept from about 2:30AM - until about 6:35 AM; better than I thought I would. I am finished editing the podcast and it is currently uploading so by the time you read this you can hit that DLP link up there and load #76 should be there for you. I love doing the podcast but it is a lot of work. Also a of of work has been getting the new Kajunkles Studio organized. I still have a ways to go but it is looking pretty good. I feel like the show is growing and will one day be a big deal...baby steps have already turned into toddler steps and before you know it we will be out of our training pants.

Even though I have now just written one paragraph I am going to wrap-up because I am spent. I may blog again tonight or tomorrow morning but either way I will probably post it tomorrow so as to not confuse things with two posts on the same day even though the writing went across the span of two days. I am still very excited about the story I am formulating in me noggin and on paper.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thanks a lot for everything - you are one of the reasons I continue to do the podcast and the blog though I get a lot out of both too. Have a great Wednesday and Wednesnight and please listen to the podcast and like Dirty Laundry Podcast on Facebook - why not, you liked lots of other stupid stuff; some worse that the podcast. TTTT...MITM (to the land of nod for a bit) TA!

Welcome to Illand!

I have no idea why I am even typing other than I am sitting at the computer checking some other things and thought I would blog a little something. It is the weird period of the week that I am more careful what I blog as we record Dirty Laundry Podcast tomorrow and I try not to repeat too many things here that we talk about there.

I finally began reading the book that I bought a couple of months ago. I know I wrote about it here before but I bought Stephen King's novel 11/22/63. That's the name of the book and not when I bought it. I felt I had to buy the book because two people from Massachusetts recommended it at Lee Harvey Oswald's (also, Nick Beef's) grave site. It seemed like some kind of a sign to me. Not to mention that Stephen King is an author that I admire and I have liked his work in the past. I say that because it is true and I am fairly certain that he reads this blog and want him to know that I am a fan. Anyway, so far the book is very good. King is very good at character development and I have a feeling he is going to be a pretty good writer. We discussed this on the podcast when I got back from Texas and Cha Cha pointed out that King;s books, often times, have poor endings and I am hoping this one is an exception. I won't know for quite some time because the book, like most of his novels, is very voluminous and I don't have time to read too often so it will be quite awhile before I get to the ending. I just hope I can get it read before the movie comes out.

My left eye has been twitching off-and-on for several weeks. I am not sure why but it is probably eye strain or my eyes getting as old as the rest of my parts or maybe the twitches are some sort of Morse Code messages from another planet. I did see seven shooting stars in the days so maybe I am being contacted by E.T.s? I imagine I should go to see somebody about it but they will make up some phlogna bologna (phony bologna) thing to bilk me out of some cash. I feel like we work just so we can have money to give to other people. I feel like just living in a van down by the river but I don't have a van.

Illand! (working on it)

The east coast is having hurricanes and the west coast is having earthquakes. I am excited that maybe living in the MIDDLEwest will soon payoff as we will be the new Hawaii or Tahiti soon. If Illinois does become an island I move that we change the name. I have no suggestions but will think about it. We need to start thinking about closing our borders soon also. We have a great spot. We will not be right on one of the oceans but we will be within an hour-and-a-half from three of the four coasts. I should probably start keeping the boat here because it will increase greatly in value when Illand (that's what I am going to call Illinois Island until something better comes along).

I think I am going to quit now. I will write more tomorrow because that is my Saturday and I have to get a few things done today before work. Thanks a lot for stopping in. I hope you have a great Monnight. Hey, Fabio starts school in two days - woohoo! TTTT...MITM (out).

I Dropped a Blog on You ...Baby!

Hit it Roz (this was "kinda" Cha Cha and my song when we met)

This is my 690th blog....what a loser o what a winner? I love writing so I guess I will say winner. And to know people, YOU, read this makes it all the better. If I were in a newspaper or something like that I wouldn't know that you were actually reading this even though the newspaper's circulation was high but with the blog I can see how many hundred people read it every day and it's only to read this blog not to see the news or the sports or the television listings. Thank you very much for making a writer write..."a writer writes, always."

I saw that a show called Bomb Girls is going to begin on REELZ in September. This REELZ channel first got on the radar when they ran the mini series The Kennedys last year and they seem to be growing with original series. Bomb Girls looks pretty good. The show is about women working in a munitions factory making bombs while the men were away fighting the war. It's probably just like all shows are now - a soap opera surrounded by a story and without the soap commercials. Aren't all shows really just soap operas? Anyway, I saw that it premieres on September 11th. Do you think that it's a coincidence that a show about making bombs starts on 9-11? Maybe they were hoping by doing that some stupid blogger would make that connection, hey wait a minute! I am so tired of being a tool for these people. I am exactly the idiot they are looking for.

If you listened to this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast you know about six lucky listeners that are getting the chance to go to the movies with Cha Cha and I. The first two spots have been filled and there are still four seat left...let me know if you want to go. Listen to the show for details.

I heard that Apollo 11 Astronaut and first person, THAT WE KNOW OF, to walk on the moon. "One small step for man, one giant lleap for mankind." That makes me want to watch The Right Stuff. Or even better, From the Earth to the Moon. Both excellent movies (the latter is more of a mini-series). I remember as a wee lad watching the moon launches. Watching them on a little black and white television between squiggles and snow on the screen (for you youngsters snow was what he called the little black and white dots that kinda made the picture hard to see). As a kid I had patches of all of the Apollo missions sewn on a jacket. I wish I had all of those patches now. I am glad we didn't have cable television back then because if we wanted to watch television we had to watch this, Today we might be watching The Real Housewives of Gemini and Apollo Astronauts rather than watching the missions themselves.

Another sad death was the death of Jerry Nelson. You most likely know who he is but don't know him by name. For the past 40 years he has done the voices of The Count and Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street. I know this is probably poor taste but I do a really good The Count impression so maybe I should get ahold of my agent and get an audition scheduled. I also do a really good AFLAC goose voice but didn't audition for that because they said they were looking for something different but then the new voice is basically the same voice that Gilbert Gottfried did so I should have auditioned.

I am about done here, I have to start getting my game-face on for work. Have a great Saturnight and Sunday. I may blog tomorrow but time will tell. Thanks for stopping in. TTT????? (691 will be a surprise)...MITM (ah, ah, ah,).

Oh, You Good Leslie You!

I just loaded the new Dirty Laundry Podcast and sat down here to write this here blog and I usually turn the television or the radio on because I need all of my senses overloaded all of the time. On the show we talked about Natalie Wood and guess what movie is on when I turn on the television? The Great Race starring Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and yes, Natalie Wood. I have always loved this movie. I think I first saw it in a film class in college and have loved it ever since. I don't think I have thought about Natalie Wood since maybe Christmas when I saw Miracle of 34th Street until last night when we podcasted about her and then here she is. I am convinced that the podcast rules the universe; at least mine anyway. Another thing I just thought of is that we talked about women gaining power in golf and other parts of the world and a big part of this film is about her trying to prove that she is equal to any man... curiouser and curiouser. Peter Falk too...woman, what a cast. Keenan Wynn, Vivian Vance (Ethel Mertz), Larry Storch (Agarn)...

Maybe I am missing something but Best Buy is reporting a 90% drop in profit for the second quarter of 2012. They reported making $260,000,000 a year ago and this year they reported $17,000,000. We all know that even with that they are still making money but what could be the causes of a 90% drop? DVD sales are down due to Netflix, HULU... and the like. CD sales are probably never going to be back up with iTunes, Dirty Laundry Podcast, et al. Wal-Mart (but they were here last year). What else? They sell TV's, computers, cell phones, vehicle audio systems... They have a new CEO that is supposed to take-over next month and that is great for him...there's nowhere to go but up. Maybe somehow it was done so the new CEO will come in and look like the savior. I guess the founder of the company has offered to buy the company founder... he must know something too huh?

If anybody has $1,000,000 they want to lend me I saw that Ma Barker's home is for sale in Florida. This is the same home that Ma was shot and killed in. There are still the bullet holes from the gunfight with the FBI that killed Ma and her son Fred. Where in the heck is Ocklawaha, Florida? I had to look and it's north of Orlando (Mapquest says 62.14 miles). Maybe timeshare? Gangster Museum? No, Florida doesn't go for touristy kinds of things. I already have photos of Bonnie and Clyde's grave photos for the walls. Maybe a Batman Museum though that was Ma Parker? It looks like a nice house but $1 Million? It's not on the ocean. I wonder if they'd take $100,000?

I received a dvd in the mail today from and director/independent filmmaker that I met a couple of weeks ago. He wants me to watch the dvd with a couple of his films on it and to review them. I cannot wait to watch them. I hope they're good because I would hate to have to write bad reviews. He said for me to be honest but that's what they always say but they only want to hear good things. The films are called: "Gless" and "The Mockingbird." There is also a teaser clip of his new film in production called "Vivienne."  Maybe we will have another filmmaker on the show soon? Also, it looks like I am going to be planning a film showing in Dekalb. I don't know how I get myself into these things. More details to follow on that last one.

I have to get some things done around the house because it look me three hours to edit the show, I did the errands around town and I have to actually work like a real person tomorrow (5AM). Thanks for stopping by and please listen to the podcast. Have a great night and maybe I will blog tomorrow; I am not sure what time I will get off work tomorrow and how tired I will be because it sounds like it's gonna be a tiring, crappy, no-fun day. TTTT (probably - about 53%)...MITM (off) TA!

Like a Good Blogger....MITM is There!

It's my Saturday so things are pretty good. I have been running quite a bit for the last couple of days so I am happy it's here.

My fantasy football draft is next week and I am still on the fence. I was off the fence and leaning toward playing but now I jumped back on the fence and leaning toward not playing. I need to decide definitively right away so they can find someone else if I decide not to play. I have a good team (we are a dynasty league which means you keep whatever players you want from your previous year from year-to-year) so getting somebody to take over my team would not be a problem. My quarterback is Aaron Rodgers and my back-up quarterback is Tony Romo...not too shabby.

I have the television on right now and a show called The Week The Women Went just came on. It is a show about a town called Yemassee, South Carolina where they take all of the women out of town for a week and see how the men can handle life without women. I believe most men in the MIDDLEwest would be fine but it seems like they picked a town that the men are still thinking like cavemen. They just has a scene in there church and it was EXACTLY like the scene with James Brown playing Reverend Cleophus James. There was nobody doing cartwheels down the aisle so there were some differences. This show looks stupid - surprised?

I just got a phone call that Splenda got into a car accident. Someone apparently ran into her. She is alright but as a father you don't want to hear that your daughter got into a car accident six hours away. Maybe it's better that way because if it were in town I would have raced over and then she wouldn't have learned how to deal with these things on her own. Right after I typed that I got a call that they don't show any insurance on that vehicle. So, I had to call our insurance company, and straighten this out. They apparently dropped the HHR when we added the FIAT even though we had multiple discussions about this with them. I am not going to mention the company's name because they did contact the police officer in Carbondale and acknowledged it was their fault and Splenda did not get a ticket for driving without insurance. Yeah right, I am having my daughter drive a car six hours each way to and from school and I am not going to have insurance on it? All of these companies send you so much darn paperwork and birthday cards and crap who has time to read it all? We even went into the office, Splenda and I, when she was home and spoke to the insurance guy in person. It was all part of them not being able to find the FIAT in the system because they had a FIAT listed under Chrysler. And we had to check her grades so we got the good student discount... Now they just called me to start a new policy for the HHR. Funny how life changes a blog in a MATTer of seconds. I guess their screw-up saved me some money though since apparently the automatic payments that I have been making haven't included that car since March. Wow, now the insurance company called me again and apologized and said he sees where it was their fault and he called their corporate headquarters and they may be calling me to follow-up but he already told them that it was their fault and it fell through the cracks and when they call just to answer truthfully... Him following-up this way makes me feel a little better.  I wonder if they would have been so honest had it been Splenda's fault or someone would have gotten hurt?The company is one of the most well-known auto insurance companies in the country and I appreciate him stepping-up and being honest and putting it on his office just like a good neighbor would do.

Splenda was on her way to work. She took the summer off from her part-time job down at school and this was her first day back and now she was late due to this fender-bender. Luckily, she is a really good employee and they love her there and they will know she is not lying. If they have any doubts she could just say, "go look at my car."

Now I am so side-tracked that I don't remember where I was going here next. We record the Dirty Laundry Podcast tonight and I wonder if this will come-up on the show? The smart money is on yes!

Augusta National is America's most exclusive golf club. (That's code for a bunch of snobs who want to keep the rest of us out) Augusta also holds the biggest of the PGA's (Professional Golf Association) tournaments, The Masters, every year. Until very recently (very, very, recently - like yesterday) only men were allowed to be members of the club. Now women are allowed to belong to Augusta. There was some old sexist dude named Hootie Johnson in charge of the club until a couple of years ago and with him in charge this never would have happened. You would think with a name like Hootie he would have loved the women. Maybe he did but he loved them in what he thought was their place. The two women who were the first two to be allowed to join were former United States of America Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Darla Moore. Darla Moore is a billionaire and was one of the highest paid women in finance in the 1980's and 1990's. So now you can be in Augusta as a woman but you had better be very rich and very powerful. So now they are no longer sexist just classist. Other members of the club are Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. Here's a list of all of the boring members sorted by state if you're interested. Sounds like a snooze-fest.

NO GOLF FOR YOU!!!!

I have to clean the kitchen and get ready for the podcast. Last night I made tacos (shrimp and beef) and guacamole and my newest creation cilantro corn and the mess didn't disappear while I was at work. So, I had better get that done and then start thinking about the podcast. I also cooked some fish last night because it was on the verge of going bad and I wanted to get it cooked before it did. Now, tonight I just have to warm that up and figure a side dish. Have a great night and thanks, as always, for spending time in my head and my life; I appreciate you mucho. TTTT... MITM (puttin' on the dishwasher Dirty Laundry Podcaster hats) TA!

Ding Dong She is Dead!

Phyllis Diller 

Man I had a weird dream last night / this morning. I was at a hotel and down by the pool and ran into some old friends there. They were with a man that looked vaguely familiar to me and then I realized it was Ron Wood or The Rolling Stones. I have never been much of a The Rolling Stones fan. I like some of their songs and appreciate what they have meant to the history of music but not really my cup of Earle Gray. When I saw him in the dream I thought to myself, "he would be really cool to get on Dirty Laundry Podcast." He was a really nice guy and I knew he would be on the show if I asked him but I didn't ask him. I don't what that means. I wonder if, in my dream, if it had been Keith Richards or Mick Jagger I would have asked? Do dreams really mean anything? I wasn't listening to any music while I was sleeping so there was no song from The Rolling Stones or The Birds or The Jeff Beck Group that snick into there. I know I was really tired because over the past 24 hours I had driven for 19 of them. I will be wondering all night long what it meant. Let me know your theories. Fair warning...I will probably mention them on the podcast. I guess, in a way, Ronnie Wood is going to be on the podcast.

Was I the only one who thought Phyllis Diller (real name Phyllis Driver) was already dead? That happens to me every know and then. Even though I know Abe Vigoda is alive I will still think that he was already dead when he dies. I liked Phyllis Diller. She seemed like a very nice person. One of the jokes I remember she told was, "I once wore a peek-a-boo blouse. People would peek and they would boo." Most of her jokes were at her won expense and I like that form of comedy for some reason. I don't like mean-spirited people and this is only aimed at ones-self so it hurts nobody. It doesn't even hurt you because you know that you don't mean it. She was a housewife when she started comedy kind of like Roseanne Barr did year after her. She was a true pioneer for women comics. I thank her for all of those except for Joan Rivers. Diller was on Batman, Love Boat, CHiPs, Love American Style and Get Smart... how much bigger can you get? This much bigger.... The Phyllis Diller Show and I bet Bob Hope was even on that show. Just so you don't think the title of this blog was insensitivity...it's because she also played The Wicked Witch of the West on stage at one time. I bet Fang dies a long time ago.

I am happy this is my Friday. Working Saturday night, driving down to Champaign and then working last night has taken a lot out of these MIDDLE-aged bones. So tomorrow and your Wednesday I have off and then Thursday I actually get to work during the day...woohoo! I say that now but the assignment on Thursday is part of the deal that I am not relishing. BUT!!!! I get Thursday night off!

Hank Williams Jr. slammed President Obama at the Iowa State Fair. That;s funny, I didn't know HWS didn't like Barack Obama. I guess I should have realized it when he his hillybilly song was pulled from Monday Night Football for disparaging remarks against the President. He said "Obama is a Muslim President who hates farming." That  must come to a surprise to Michelle Obama who is really pushing children eating more vegetable. He also said that Obama hates the military and that he is a "Muslim America hater." What is wrong with this dude? Rhetorical.

America must be getting sick of Kelly Ripa like I have been for months and months. She is going to finally announce a co-host for the morning show that Regis Philbin left quite awhile ago. Of course, she is waiting to announce the new host in September when it's ratings time. It would be funny if it were Regis. Maybe it was just a rest for Philbin and this was all like a publicity scam the whole time. It will probably be her husband. I won't watch it anyway so I don't even know why I brought this up.

I have to finish dinner and start getting my work face on so I had better wrap this up. I hope you have a great night. I should be able to blog again tomorrow, my apologies in advance. Thanks for stopping in. Man, I have to get caught up on my Words With Friends and Scramble With Friends too! why do we do things that make us feel busier? We have to be the dumbest species of animal that there is. And I am right up there with The King of the Idiots. TTTT...MITM (creating things for himself to do) DUH! I mean Ta!

Without 2013 How Can I Fail at New Resolutions?

I always thought I was against reality shows but here I am am flipping back and forth between Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew on LOGO and Police Women of Memphis on OWN. I have watched Celebrity Rehab ever since it started and I am not really sure why I like it so much. I think I like to know that celebs aren't as cool as they think they are. Not that I want bad things to happen to them but I like to know that they are as cool as they think. Police Women of Memphis is a big surprise to me because I, for some reason, cannot stand Oprah Winfrey (don't tell her) and it's on her network. I have never liked her and I know people love her. I guess I cannot say I have never liked her because she was really good in A Color Purple. My favorite people that have been on the Celebrity Rehabs have been: Rodney King, Tom Sizemore, Sean Young and Amber Smith because they all seemed like nice people. The ones that were the most fun to watch because they were very odd, not going to be surprising, were: Gary Busey, Dennis Rodman, Steven Adler and Janice Dickenson. It's great to see all of the silicone in nightgowns and such.... there are so many things to like by watching other peoples' misfortunes. I also like the ones who show-up with drugs in their system; I guess it's the "one last one before I have to quit" theory that we have all experienced with one thing or another.

Splenda is on her way back to school. I am always happier when she is here. Even if I don't see her while she is home as much as I'd like I at least know that she is safe. When she is hundreds of miles away I don't have that piece of mind always.
Does anybody else take joy in the fact that Facebook stock continues to tank? I know I would feel differently if I had bought the IPO (initial public offering) but I feel smarter now that I didn't. I don't wish bad for the people who bought shares of Facebook but maybe it's because I saw The Social Network and it shows Jesse Eisenberg Mark Zuckerburg as a jerk. Speaking of jerks, I didn't take the time to make sure I spelled their names correctly but you know who I am blogging about.

Based on what I have blogged here so far I must be in a bad mood. I am very stuffed-up and I continue to cough so maybe I am sick. I am always crabby when I am sick. Hey, Dwight Gooden just arrived at Celebrity Rehab. He has cocaine in his system...LOL. I guess that's why he's in rehab... he cannot stop. We all need help from time-to-time. I love getting a nice big close-up of a container of "Doc" Gooden's urine. Amy Fisher is trying to leave rehab. There's probably some really sexy guy like Joey Buttafuoco to go see.

Hey, Michael J. Fox is going to return to television in a regular series. He's had quite a bit of success (no secret of his success LOL - man I crack be up) in both television and movies. Alex P. Keaton, Teenwolf, Stuart Little, Marty McFly, that dude on Spin City... I have always liked him. Word on what the series is going to be about are very hush hush but it sounds like all of the networks are fighting it out to get the rights to the show. He certainly is an incredible inspiration to all of us.

"Doc, I just found out that I was adopted"

I am gonna wrap-it-up. I have reality television to watch. I tell myself I hate reality shows but there I go lying to myself again. The real truth his that I hate that I watch reality television shows. I wish there was going to be a 2013 so I could make that one of my New Year's resolutions.

Thank you, as always, for making me feel like I make a difference. Actually, thank you for giving me a reason to psychoanalysis myself on a regular basis. Have a great weekend. I may or may not sneak a blog or two in there this weekend. TTT whenever...MITM (sniffling out) TA!

I won the lottery...to be continued (I hope)

Another dreary rainy day...I love it! And tonight it's supposed to get down into the lower 50's in the MIDDLEwest of The U.S. of America (at least in my part of it). I love rain, I love chilly weather but I hate sinus headaches and being on the verge of being ill.

If you listened to Dirty Laundry Podcast this week you heard that I wished upon a falling star that I would win the Mega Millions this week. It worked. I did win but it was only $2. I rolled that $2 into a Powerball ticket last night and probably won $630,000,000 but I haven't checked yet. You're not really a loser until you check right? I specifically wished on the star to win at least $1,000,000 so I am sure I either won a lot on the Powerball or won enough to roll it over again until I do. I'll check before Tuesday so I can buy another ticket and continue to let-it-ride!

My number one source for social advise - Megadeth

I am not really sure why I am blogging because I don't really have anything on my mind. I promised I would blog so here I blog again.

I know it is no surprise if I tell you there are a lot of drugs in the rock-and-roll industry but I am pretty sure I have found something that will convince you. Megadeth, that's already a good start, lead singer Dave Mustaine said at a concert in Singapore recently, "back in my country my President is trying to pass a gun ban so he is staging all of these murders. The 'Fast and Furious' thing at the border. And Aurora, Colorado. All the people that were killed there. And now, the beautiful people that were killed at the Sikh Temple...I don't know where I'm gonna live if America keeps going the way it's going because it's turning into Nazi America." I am sure there are better ways to pass a gun ban in America than killing people in Colorado and Wisconsin. They must have some really good drugs in Singapore. I know there will be many people that will buy into this bologna but those hopefully, are the minority or he is correct in one thing - this country is in trouble. Maybe you'd have more credibility if you knew how to spell. I'd say there's more chance of a group of dudes calling themselves Megadeth are more likely to be behind the shootings than most people.

This has got to stay short because I just got a call that I have to hop a plane for Wilmington, North Carolina. It seems that my good buddy Bobby Downey (RDJ) got hurt and I have to fill-in for him for awhile at work. When you see Iron Man 3 next year remember that that is me in the titanium quite a bit because he hurt his ankle. I don't mind filling-in now and then because I know he will return the favor if I ever need help with the podcast.

The only way to fly!

Thanks a lot for stopping-by. Enjoy the weather (maybe snow tonight huh?). Have a great Thursnight. Sorry I have to run but what are friends for? If I get a chance I will blog on location tomorrow but no promises. TTT?...MITM (it's not the suit that makes a MATT)) TA!

Blog is Just a Fantasy!

I just got the kitchen cleaned, there's a load of laundry in the washing machine, I won the Mega Millions last night (as predicted - just not as much money as I had planned to win), the Dirty Laundry Podcast is uploaded for you to enjoy and now it is time to blog. 

I stayed up until 3:00AM editing the podcast but got so tired that I went to bed and I didn't finish it until this afternoon. Its a good thing I still enjoy doing the show. The editing is kind of tedious at times but it's all worth it when it's done. I actually even like listening to the show; I listened to last week's show (#73) five times. Is that narcissistic or do I just know good entertainment when I hear it? I suppose that if I still enjoy the show the fifth time I listen to it others ought to be able to at least get through it once. 

I heard that Abby Elliot is leaving Saturday Night Live (SNL). This makes me sad because she is one of my favorites on SNL. I was happy when Kristin Wiig left because I thought her very over-rated. Andy Samburg left too but that's no big deal to me either. Jsson Sadekis may also be leaving and I could do without him too. Abby Elliot did: Khloe Kardashian, Anna Farris, Rachel Maddow, Zooey Daschenel, Angelina Jolie... these were among the best characters on the show. I didn't even realize she was Chris Elliot's daughter until Dirty Laundry Podcast entertainment expert Greg Weindorf told me. I have always thought that Chris Elliot was hilarious. He was okay on SNL though he was only a bit player but when he was on Late Night with David Letterman he killed me. I was also a huge fan of Get a Life. Maybe Abby Elliot will go to movies or get her own television show. I wish her luck because she will be great on her own.

When did Wife Swap turn into Trading Spouses? Is it a trick to try to get us to watch re-runs when they are named something else? 

I guess they are making Scary Movie 5. I saw about ten minutes of the first one and that was more than enough. What makes Scary Movie 5 the "scariest" of all of these moronic movies is that Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are playing a couple in the movie called "The World's Hottest Couple." Supposedly one or both of them will be killed-off in the opening sequence. My money is on both of them dying in the very beginning and they will each make huge money for very little work. I have never seen one episode of Sheen's new series Anger Management and I will never watch this show. I like a few of the other people on the show but while he is involved I will not watch the show. I know idiots like Sheen in real life and these are the idiots that are making me reconsidering playing fantasy football in the same league that I have played in for the last six or seven years this coming season. The problem is that there are a few people that I really like playing with and seeing in our league so I have to weigh the pros and the cons. Most everybody behaves badly from time to time, me included, but if you behave badly more times than you behave properly I really don't have time for you. 

Did you hear about Rashida Jones calling for John Travolta to come out of the closet? During an interview Jones, Quicny Jones' daughter, formerly on The Office and now on Parks and Recreations," was talking to an interviewer from Spinning Platters and said, "There needs to be, like a professional athlete that come out... and maybe a movie star. Like John Travolta. Come out! Come on! How many masseurs have to come forward? Let's do it!" Seriously, right after Horshack dies? Either she's really gutsy or maybe a little drunk? This takes a lot of guts or very little brains and we'll see how this plays out but I bet an apology and/or retraction or talks of being misquoted or out-of-context happens soon.

I already played this once today

Alrighty, I am done. I have to get something for the tumor that is growing in my brain. I am going to cash my winnings on last night's Mega Millions and get me some Power Ball tickets for tonight because I heard that is up to $360,000,000.. That would sure come in handy. Have a great Wednesnight. Thank you, as always, for stopping by. The drier is calling for me to start folding before dinner...yeah!!!!!! TTTT....MITM (offen sie). TA!

How Do Ye?

Howdy, howdy, howdy. Did you know that word can from "how do ye?" I suppose it was at the beginning of us becoming too busy to say full phrases.

I have to get over and buy some lottery tickets today. I have it on good authority that I will win the Power Ball tonight but I imagine that is contingent on my purchasing at least one ticket. I would tell you on what authority I will win the lottery but then I would not be able to talk about it on Dirty Laundry Podcast tonight.

I just heard that Ron Palillo died. Most of you MIDDLEaged people will remember him as Arnold Horshack on Welcome Back Kotter. Palillo seemed like a nice guy. The cause of his death has not been determined; at least that is the official statement. I have suspicions as to what the cause of death was but they are just suspicions so I will keep them to myself. I know you might think that unusual for me to keep my big blog shut but there is actually more thoughts in my head that I do not write or blog about than there are that I do. Welcome Back Kotter was a huge show back in the day. Gabe Kaplan, Marcia Strassman, Robert Hedges, Ron Palillo, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs and that other guy who said "what?" - his name escapes me. Roger Rabbit was on there a lot too. Hedges died in January....will there be another dead Sweathog before 2013? It doesn't matter since December 22nd is almost here anyway.

That makes me think (sometimes I do that) how come nobody is talking about the Mayan end of the world coming anymore? I know the talk will pick-up in the fall but that's all anybody was talking about a couple of months ago and now nobody is talking about it; maybe people have come to their senses and thought A) it is malarkey or, B) even if it is true it sounds like there's nothing we can do about it so, oh well.

Olympics. Thank Goddess they're over!

I am off tonight and tomorrow and I couldn't be happier about that but for some reason I feel very restless. I don't know why but I am just antsy. Maybe it's because I have gone to Chicago a couple of times over the past couple weeks and I am big-city-charged back out in the country. I am pretty sure that I am a city mouse living in the country. Also, my left eye has been twitching off-and-on for the last three or four days. I am sure it's just eye strain but maybe it's like a tremor before an earthquake. Our bodies try to send us warnings of things but I have always found it prudent to ignore these types of things and they will just go away. Maybe I am having Olympics withdrawal? Maybe my body is celebrating because they're over! Are you surprised that The United States of America won the gold medal in basketball? I am kind of ashamed of that, actually. I think there should be a push by NBA (National Basketball Association) players to not participate in The Olympics but their egos would not let that happen. They get their asses kissed all of their lives, every day, and there's no way they would pass-up a little more. The world already hates us and now we have to take the most gold medals and throw the best basketball players at them. I am more excited to see young athletes win or people from small countries like Jamaica being the fastest people in the world. The Olympics don't really increase my pride in my country.

Sorry, I had to go out and clean the kitchen and season the salmon for the grill. Now the kitchen is clean and the salmon is seasoned and life is good. I should have started a load of laundry too but that can wait. Maybe I should go start the laundry. Speaking of laundry I have to finish up getting Kajunkles Studio (the name of Dirty Laundry Podcast's studio in case you don't know) done. It is functionable but not very presentable for guests and we have several people who want to be on the show. Tonight and tomorrow are gonna be busy.


I just now noticed that my left eye hasn't twitched since I started today's blog; even while cleaning the kitchen. Thanks for stopping-in and giving my eye twitch muscles a break. I hope you have a great Tuesnight. I just thought that I am not really sure if I want to play Fantasy Football this year. Draft time is coming and it always sounds fun at the beginning but then during the season there are a few idiots that ruin it for everyone... I am leaning toward not playing again. So many tough decisions in life. TTTT...MITM (out to do dirty laundry and Dirty Laundry) TA!

"Hangin' Around...Nuthin' to do but Blog!"

Hit it Roz! "bloggin' to myself and feeling old"
It's a fabulous day; at least by my standards. The best thing is that it's raining. I love the rain. I  have always loved the soothing feeling rain gives me. It's Monday for you but it's Friday for me (Friday is another thing I like - duh). This "Friday" is even a better Friday because I took yesterday off so it's like a one day week. Fridays used to mean a lot more to me when I hated my job. I like my job now, mainly because I am not in charge of people and the one I am in charge of (me) I know pretty well even though we don't get along sometimes, so Fridays aren't that big a deal but I think as U.S. of Americans it is just ingrained in us from the time we enter school and Friday is the last day of the school week.

Yesterday was Cha Cha's birthday and I gave her exactly what she wanted - a day without me. Also tickets to see The Book of Mormon (in January) and the kids got her a certificate for a 90-minute massage. I gave her two tickets to The Book of Mormon in hopes that maybe she'd take me but I would be cool with her taking MADYM I guess. It is only a coincidence that I got her tickets for a Wednesday show and that just happens to be one of my days off. I was happy that she wanted to see that show. I am a fan of Matt Stone and Trey Parker so I am sure it will be good. I think it won a Tony award or something. Supposedly it's "God's favorite musical." The show pokes fun of organized religion and traditional musical theater - sounds a lot like a podcast I am familiar with. I am so tired of Matt and Trey thinking they are Matt and Jill.

Carl Panzram's silhouette above the pipe organ at The Portage 

Yesterday I went to Chicago to the World Premiere Screening of John Borowski's new film Carl Panzram: The Spirit of Hatred and Vengeance at the Portage Theater. John Dillinger would have had a better time on his night out had he chosen the Portage over the Biograph. Maybe Melvin Pervis would have figured that out though huh? What a beautiful theater and it really added to a film about a man who was alive at the time that this theater was in it's hay day or maybe even at it's beginning. I ended-up going to the premiere alone and the person I went with really got on my nerves sometimes; he's always so bossy and needs everything his way. The theater is right near the Subway and I ate there. When I say Subway I mean the sandwich joint not that trainy thing. I love visiting Chicago. The theater was in a neighborhood setting (a Chicago-type neighborhood, that is) and I roamed around a bit before the show. Since it was Sunday, or maybe it is an everyday occurrence, there was a boombox in a window of one of the apartment buildings blaring old-timey religious music. It sounded like music from Oh Brother, Where Art Thou! I love that movie and I love that kind of music with the banjos and mandolins so I stood there a little but just listening to the music. Maybe Cheese-its Jesus was talking to me?

I like John Borowski's films a lot. I think the best thing about them, for me, is that I learn things while being entertained. The three films that I have seen I have learned about people that I didn't even knew existed. One, H.H. Holmes, was America's first serial killer and operated out of Chicago, very near us,  and I didn't even know about him until Cha Cha and I stumbled upon John's film on PBS or something one night several years ago. Then for us to run-across the H.H. Holmes thing and meet John and get to know him on the podcast... seems like fate to me. I am Professor Fate! The best thing about the John Borowski's films for me, besides the fact that they are amazing, is that John is a great guy and it's not a fake nice guy deal he is genuinely a nice guy who appreciates people appreciating him. I am not going to talk too much about the film because he is coming back on Dirty Laundry Podcast in the next couple of weeks when his new film goes to DVD to talk about the film and deliver the copy that I pre-ordered in person. How many times do you suppose Albert Hitchcock delivered copies' of Rear Window or Vertigo to someone?

While there I spoke to several people regarding the podcast. I talked to one of The World Famous Crawlspace Brothers who is going to send me some music that we can play on the podcast - I always love music on the podcast and especially if it's gonna be about serial killers (LOL). I spoke with Willie Adkins from Illinois Ghost Hunters and Spookshow Entertainment for awhile. I met a few actors and filmmakers who are going to send me some stuff for review and potentially being guests. I spoke with the person who is putting together the radio/podcasting network for a little while about the network and it sounds like it is a 12 - 18 month project to get it launched but it sounds very cool to me. A lot of people asked me, "what's the show about?" I would say "we talk about pretty much everything pop culture" because I think that is pretty accurate. Popular culture changes every second and that lets us change and evolve with the times. It also doesn't limit us to one thing. Even if it isn't popular when we discuss it maybe we can help make it popular if we like it?

I just "spoke" with Shanon Molina, Hippies United Globally Political Action Commitee (HUGPAC), about being back on the podcast. She is all for it. She has a lot of great things going on in the political world and with the 2012 Presidential Election coming up and the Republican Vice Presidential candidate having her arrested and knowing her by name I know she has a lot on her mind. I know am not very knowledgeable in the political arena but Cha Cha knows her stuff and I always learn something from Shanon and Cosmic Scotty. We would like to have someone from the Republican side of things on the show, not at the same time as Shanon, so if you or someone you know are interested please let me know. 

Wow, I rambled-on and it feels like most of this blog was a commercial for the podcast. Sorry about that if it is. I always say I blog about what's on my mind and today it seems like I am excited about the one track that my mind chose today. I love doing the podcast mainly because I get to meet a lot of great people and see things that I wouldn't ordinarily get to meet/ do without it. Maybe we should start our own podcasting network? Not quite yet.

Thanks for stopping by and for letting me prattle-on. I really appreciate you stopping in. Have a great day and enjoy the rain in the MIDDLEwest today (I know I am). TTTT...MITM (out) I just looked for a song to add here and The World Famous Crawlspace Brothers have a song called "Cha Cha Heels" - I cannot wait to play their music on the show LOL!

I'm a Loner Baby! It Must be Pre-Ordained!

Hi there. I know I said I probably wouldn't blog today but BLOG HAPPENS!

Tomorrow is the World Premiere Screening of John Borowski's film  Carl Panzram: The Spirit of Hatred and Vengeance in Chicago and I am really looking forward to it. I am not sure if I am going alone but I know for sure that Jay Cole backed-out and is not going. I don't mind doing stuff alone and I don't mind going to one of the most violent biggest cities in the world country (actually Chicago is not even in the top 25 most violent cities in The U.S. of America but St. Louis, Mo is #3 and Rockford, IL is the #9 - I had to check) so it's no big whoop but it does put a kink in my entourage / posse idea. Oh well, a lot of famous people were/are loners: Anthony Hopkins, Shoeshine Boy, Santa Claus, J.D. Salinger, Albert Einstein, Clayton Moore, Lee Harvey Oswald (he was even called The Lone Gunman), Emily Dickenson, David Letterman, Wolverine from The X-Men (most super heroes actually), Terry Bradshaw, PeeWee Herman, Megan Fox, Muhammad Ali, Frankenstein's monster (most monsters and villains actually), Napoleon Bonaparte, Agnetha whatever from ABBA... I have tried to start a club with the ones who are still alive but none of them will respond to my invitations. I guess we will all just have our own chapters of The Loners' Club. I will hold the meetings for the international chapter here and majority votes of all members present at the time of votes will decide all issues. I never realized that loner and loser are very similar words.

Why do auto insurance companies have the most creative television advertisements?

Cha Cha will be the same age as me in 5 1/2 hours (that is midnight CST as I write this). Then about 28 days after that I will be a year older than her. I have never been very good at math (weird since my name is Matthew) but that doesn't seem right to me.
Do fish drink water? If so they must drink their own urine too or do they even pee? Why am I thinking about fish? Loners is as loners does!

What is so big about Shark Week on Discovery?  I think sharks are cool and I have always been a big fan but how did this happen? Is it really a thing or do they just tell us that it is a thing in hopes that some idiots will blog about it and they get free publicity and then it becomes a thing? Nobody writing a blog would fall for something like that. Bloggers are too smart for that especially if they are losers loners. Didn't Universal Studios just get rid of the Jaws ride in Orlando? Maybe Discovery is opening their own theme park and they bought the Jaws ride. I think an Auction Kings and Myth Busters ride might be fun. American Chopper, Man vs. Wild... On second thought that theme park would suck. Now I am trying to think about which networks would be make good theme parks. I will work on that one maybe for the podcast.

I have to get some stuff done before I go to work. It's cool because tonight will feel like Friday because I am off tomorrow and then I will have to work one day and that will be my real Friday and then I get two days off. My thoughts are making me dizzy and I am afraid I am just getting started to I better stop. Thank you for stopping in. I am pretty sure that I will not blog tomorrow but I said that yesterday. Tomorrow I am even more sure because I will only sleep for about five hours and then "it's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.....hit it!" Let me know if you want to be my Joliet Jake for tomorrow and don't tell me. " I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD! " TTT whenever...MITM (hittin' it) TA! 

Free Porn Here!!!!

Happy Friday to you who enjoy the traditional work week. Thank goodness I am no longer a drone and have what, in twenty years or so, will become the work week's new weekend - Tuesday and Wednesday. Last night I got my new day's off and it couldn't have gone any better if I had wished it upon the three falling stars I saw last week. I got the highly prized days off of Tuesday and Wednesday; that's right my weekend did not change. It's always weird saying TGIT. I may be the only one at work who keeps the same days off. In twenty years we'll see who will be laughing. I plan on being dirt napping (not really since I plan to be burnt-up and sprinkled in the ocean because I would rather be fish food than worm meat) so I will be laughing in my cryogenic space pod right after they find water on another planet.

If you want to know what I wished for on those three falling stars I saw last week you'll have to listen to this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast.

I also found out last night that I got my day-off Sunday approved so I am definitely going to John Borowski's film screening in Chi-town. My movie premiere posse consists of Jay Cole, my brather from another father (copyright/trademark/patent pending), and me. It's not exactly what I would call a posse or an entourage but it's mine and I like it! There's still room for more if you wanna go!

I am gonna have to quit writing soon because I guess we are going to breakfast at your lunchtime.

O.J. Simpson's, do I really have to tell you who O.J. Simpson is?, ex-girlfriend is peddling a sex tape from her past. Juice's former girlfriend, Christie Prody, is trying to sell a tape of her having sex with....you would guess O.J. Simpson wouldn't you?...the guy she dated after she and O.J. broke up. Who cares? I wouldn't care about it even if it was with O.J. but I could understand maybe the kitschy quality of that if it were with a celebrity but... If this tape comes out (no pun intended) please do not buy it. If you need to see it pirate it so another bottom-feeder doesn't cash-in on our stupidity as a society. Save your money and use to buy fuel that is going up hourly and the higher prices of produce that are going to continue to rise - if you feel the need to watch porn remember... THAT'S WHY THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED!

Have a great weekend and let me know if you need a lift to the Portage Theater in Chicago on Saturday for the premiere of Carl Panzram: The Spirit of Hatred and Vengeance. Thanks for coming by and I hope you enjoy the nice milder MIDDLEwestern weather for those of you in the MIDDLEwest. I hope those of you somewhere else enjoys whatever weather you are being dealt too. TTT????...MITM (gone like a prawn to spawn - sticking with the porno theme). TA!

I Don't Think You're Ready for this Jelly! Bloggilicious!

I have just begun the leeching

It's my Monday and I am either sick, my allergies are acting up or I just have a case of the Moondays on your Thursday. I don't call-in sick unless I am nearly dead so it doesn't really MATTer what it is anyway. I have found, over the years, that you cannot win at any job being sick. If you call in sick you're faking and if you go in sick you shouldn't have gone in because, "you're gonna make all of the rest of us sick." At least if everybody else gets sick they know you weren't faking. I only fake at one thing and nobody has suspected yet. I just took some Claritin (ka-ching) so we'll see how that works. If anybody knows of any natural remedy for hay fever or seasonal allergies or whatever they are called let me know. I am tired of getting raped by Schering-Plough HealthCare Products, Inc. and Walgreens. Sometimes a good monetary raping is better than a constant sinus headache.

The new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. I had a problem falling asleep last night (2:30 AM this morning is more accurate) so I decided to listen to the podcast. It must be good because I listened to the entire hour without falling asleep and I knew what it was about. That is not to say that listening to it while trying to fall asleep isn't a good idea because it was soothing. The Agitator and Cha Cha are so engaging that I couldn't doze off.

As I mentioned in my last blog I am going to the World Premier Screening of Carl Panzram: The Spirit of Hatred and Vengeance; I am still looking to fill the car if you wanna go. The filmmaker, John Borowski, asked me if I would like to set up a table at The Portage Theater where the screening is happening to promote Dirty Laundry. I had thought about it but I am not prepared to do that just yet and Cha Cha isn't even going with me. I know Jay Cole would bring in a crowd as he is a very engaging person and probably was P.T. Barnum in a past life but I would feel weird I think. Maybe for his next film we could record a show live (actually recorded live) on the red carpet. It makes me think that maybe we should have something to sell. I actually could have burned several of the shows when John Borowski was on the show to sell? T-shirts? Dream dates with Cha Cha? Auction-off a co-host for a week? The Agitator in a dunk tank? Maybe I will wait until we get on the forthcoming radio network that is still dangling out there. The head of the new network is going to be at the screening too so I may have a chance to schedule him on the podcast so we can discuss it with you listening?

I don't think Chicago's ready for this jelly!!!

Did you hear about U.S. Olympic runner Manteo Mitchell. If you have not heard of what he did be prepared to feel bad about every time you complained because you didn't want to work-out of do yard work or whatever. Mitchell was running in the 4X400 meter preliminary relay Thursday which might be today in England or tomorrow in The U.S. of America (I am not really sure the conversion rate). He said he felt a "popping in his leg" with a half a lap to go and just kept going; he had broken is left fibula. He finished the race with a broken leg and the said, "I figured it's what anyone would have done in the situation." I guess if he means if anybody in the position were a world-class athlete who had trained their entire life for this moment I suppose he was right but most of us would have hobbled-off wincing in agony. The U.S.A. tied for first in the event. I smell big time endorsement money from some medical product company...maybe he can promote Claritin? At least Icy Hot or Advil or Nike... can I be this dude's agent for just two days please? Rumors of him being on Dirty Laundry Podcast can not be substantiated but we are not denying it. Until this dies down go ahead and spread tat rumor.

I have to wrap this up because I have lots to do and I'd like to get 25% of it done before I have to go to work. I hope you have a great night and a good morning tomorrow. I am fairly certain that I will blog tomorrow. If you want to go to the film screening let me know. I can just about guarantee I can make sure you meet a world-famous filmmaker; seriously. Thanks for stopping by and for listening to the podcast - I appreciate you mucho! TTTT...MITM (movin' my bootyliciousness) TA!

Robbing Almond Joy to Pay Mounds!

I just got done mowing the lawn and boy are my wings tired. That doesn't sound right but mowing the lawn when it's so hot out isn't right either so who is to say what's right. While I was mowing I was listening to the latest Dirty Laundry Podcast. We are recording the new show tonight and I always listen to the previous week's show before we record the new one because it jogs my MIDDLE memory. If you haven't listened to our show yet you really must give it a try. I honestly think that if I listened to our show as a perfect stranger I would like it. Maybe that's because we talk about things that interest me I suppose now that I think of it.

Last night I put in a vacation request for this coming Sunday. I have been on the fence about taking off for John Borowski's new film premiere (Carl Panzram: The Spirit of Hatred and Vengeance) but how often do you get to go to an actual movie premiere? It is a "World Premier Screening." I am fairly certain that I will get the night off and I am excited. There are going to be at least three previous Dirty Laundry Podcast guests there and maybe some celebrities that I can ambush with my digital recorder. The people who have been on the show that I know for sure that will be there are: John Borowski, of course, Charles D. Moisant and Willie Adkins. I have a feeling that Ben Pavalon will be there too. It is Cha Cha's birthday but she doesn't want to go so I need a posse. Maybe that will be my present to her - getting outta her hair. We're not ten years old and she's never really been that excited about her birthdays. If you're interested in going with me please let me know; contingent on me getting off work, of course. I can get you in....as a celebrity podcaster I know I can get you in. I can also introduce you to a world renown filmmaker. If you need a refresher on John Borowski you can watch: H.H. Holmes: America's First Serial Killer and Albert Fish: In Sin He Found Salvation on Netflix or listen to the episode of our show when he was on. They are both great films. I tend to ramble when I get excited and I guess I am rambling.

You Only Die Once!

Who wants to go? The 4-Runner holds seven and I am one. Maybe if only a few go we can take the Fiat? I cannot help but thinking the Fiat would be fun with The Lost Sock (very tall) and Jay Cole (very Incredible Hulkish) getting out of that car with me. We would look like a band of Super Heroes going out in our secret identities I think. Especially with Cha Cha's license plates - "EXIST." And our Entertainment Reporter Greg to round-out the foursome? The 4-Runner would be better though because that makes for a bigger posse. Maybe I should get six big dudes and dudettes and they could all surround me with mirrored sunglasses and create a buzz for the podcast like I am a big podcasting celebrity like I pretend to be.

I have so many things on my mind and so many things I have written down but with the podcast only a couple of hours away I have to save some things for the show. Is that robbing blogger to pay pod? I never understood that saying, "robbing Peter to pay Paul" but I would bet my immortal soul that it has something to do with The Holy Bible. Or maybe Mounds and Almond Joy? It would only take three seconds to Google it but then I would go off on a tangent about what that meant... tempting!

I heard that a man in Ohio was arrested in a movie theater show The Dark Knight Rises with a bag of weapons including a fully loaded 9mm pistol, two full ammo magazines and several knives. He was the first one to enter the theater and he sat in the back center of the movie theater. He was arrested by an off-duty police officer who was very observant and when they searched his homes he had a room with a huge arsenal of guns and weapons that his wife didn't even know he had. I don't mean to make light of this but these people are gonna make it where it is going to make it more difficult for me to sneak bottles of water and healthy snacks into the theaters. I am pretty sure that gun control and racism (Chick-fil-A) are certain to decide who our next POTUS (see yesterday's blog) is.

I have rambled-on as I do and this is getting long (TWSS). I am fairly certain I will blog again tomorrow because I will have a new podcast to promote. I am serious about "who wants to go to a world movie premiere with me." Let me know if you want to go. I stink from mowing the lawn so I am gonna go take a shower so I smell nice for Dirty Laundry (ironic). I hope you have a great Tuesnight and, as always, thank you so very much for making me feel like this blog continues to be worth writing. TTTT...MITM (soon to take the next step to super stardom) TA!