Matt In The Middle (Sunday Edition)

Here comes the Sunday dootendoodoo. Looks like the rain may be over for now. That's good because it looks like there's a lot of people who need a break to recover. The Middlewest (Iowa and Illinois specifically) got beat up by the rain. It's weird to hear about all of the heavy water because while it was going on I was sitting on a chair in the MIDDLE of a cornfield watching two movies. It's funny how only 50 miles or so can make that much difference. In case you didn't see them yet I reviewed the two movies (Salt and Grown Ups) over there ----->.

Sparky is tubing in Wisconsin with his friend Sunshine and his family and Splenda is finishing her motorcycle safety course today. If all goes well she will have her motorcycle license by the end of the day. Well, she will actually have a card that she will take to the DMV that says she passed and she gets her license. Sugar Momma is downstairs on her computer working and I am blogging. We have a graduation party to go to later today but nothing until then; that doesn't happen very often.

I worked out yesterday. I keep hearing about muscle-memory and about how your muscles get used to your work-outs and "remember" how strong you are or something. I think my muscles have dementia or Alzheimer's. My muscles have as bad a memory as my brain does I think. Okay, I just Googled muscle memory and it has nothing to do with remembering how strong you are... It has to do with doing everyday tasks like riding a bicycle or blogging on a keyboard and allowing you to do things without conscious effort. I guess I have that since most of my life is doing things without thinking about them.

I saw on Direct TV that they replaced the Fox Reality channel with Nat Geo WILD (National Geographic Wild). Isn't it basically the same thing? One is people doing what they do everyday (usually making jackasses out of themselves) and the other is jackasses making jackasses out of themselves. I think people will tune in to see their shows and will keep watching them not knowing that there was a channel change.

Shrek The Musical is in Chicago through September 5th. So it's going to be there for a little over a month? Who wants to bet that Shrek The Musical will miraculously be extended and will probably be in Chicago for about two-three years? We are such lemmings. Promoters of movies and computers and phones and Sham-Wows and anything else we "have to have now" know that we cannot wait to run out and spend our money on crap we don't need. If they get us to make an emotional decision rather than rational, intelligent decisions they can get our moolah. That's why this country is in the shape it's in now. People couldn't wait to go broke buying way too much house; more than they could afford because the banks were stoking the "need it now" fires. That's why most of my subdivision is for sale. Fortunately this is not one of the "need it now" traps we fell into. We fall into plenty of them but fortunately we saw the tarp covered in leaves over that hole.

I finally got the clog in the kitchen sink cleared. I had to go buy a sewer snake. I didn't realize that the skin of one zucchini was as bad as the peels of five pound of potatoes. Zucchini Girl could kick an army of Potato People's butts. Maybe it's just our garbage disposal? The last time I had this much trouble was four or five years ago when I peeled potatoes into the sink for Thanksgiving mashed potatoes. I haven't done that since that time but ONE ZUCCHINI? I should start a compost area but we live too close to other houses to generate that kind of stench. Maybe I could stop showering and they would just think it was me and not get mad about the compost pile.

There are still a few seats available for The Halloween Eve Seance. Act fast because they're going quickly. This offer will only be available while supplies last or until October 30th. Don't delay and miss this once in a year opportunity. This is the first in what will undoubtedly become a annual event and you want to be able to look back and say "I was there when this all began." But if you don't act now you will miss that opportunity. Ben Bilked of Seance Monthly magazine says, "if you miss this seance it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Then, when you're dead, they will conjure you up every year at future seances and make you relive the agony for all of eternity by rubbing it in your ecto-plasmic face. Rest in peace and make that reservation now." Listen to Ben Bilked and make that decision now and be a part of eternal peace.

The Sunday edition is always longer than the weekday editions so I guess you get what you pay for today. Have a great Sunnyday. I will blog you tomorrow with tidbits you cannot live without but don't think about Monday now...Live For Sunday! Now I am going to go pester Sugar Momma ;)

** sunday graphic taken from djanonymois.fi, muscle memory graphic removed from lifepriority.com if memory serves, shrek the musical photo donkey'd from news.bbc.co.uk & seance graphic crossed over from psychicenergies.com **