Matt in the Middle: I Must Break the Cycle (for future generations)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

I Must Break the Cycle (for future generations)

I am not much of a sleeper...I am more of a blogger. Those who can sleep; those who can't blog!

It's weird travelling with my parents again after being married for 23 years and travelling with my own family. As I type this sitting in the little living room area of our hotel room at 2:00 AM here comes my mom...who in the heck is up at 2:00 in the morning? Does she have a blog to compose? I make a church mouse sound like an Earthquake I am so quiet but she wakes up...why the face (WTF)? She's in the restroom now but I bet she'll come out soon and ask, "whatcha' doin'?"

It only took about seven hours to get down here after stopping for gas and lunch...not in that order. My mom is now sitting on he couch next to me and she just asked "whatcha doin?"...OMG!!!!!! I thought I was kidding. I told her, "I am typing my blog." I think she thinks I am speaking Martian. I hope she doesn't look over and see what I am typing. I can't even get 15 minutes to type a blog in the MIDDLE of the night? If you have parents you know what I'm blogging about. My dad is still sleeping near us and she is talking about NASCAR at almost full volume...when in the MIDDLE-south I guess NASCAR should be part of it. Am I trapped in an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond?

As we entered Missouri from Iowa yesterday we stopped in a "town" called Eagleville for fuel and grub. There were two Amish girls in their two buggies selling hand-woven baskets and things near the gas station. They had their horses tied up to the electical/telephone poles. I found that ironic since they probably don't have telephone poles back where they live. Do you think their Amish community would think it okay for them to use electricity in this manner?

It was weird walking into the restaurant and seeing/smelling people smoking at the tables. It's funny how quickly I forgot about public smoking since Illinois passed the law that stopped smoking in public places a while back. I don't miss the smoke. I don't begrudge people who smoke but I don't want to smell it.

I think it's nice how motorcyclists all wave to each other. Do you think people would find it odd if I started waving at all the other people in cars? I think the MIDDLEwest and the world would be a happier place if we all just smiled and waved at each other. On second thought maybe we shouldn't wave at every car...there are a lot more cars than motorcycles on the road and maybe motorists should concentrate on their driving. Let's just start waving at stop signs and stop lights.

Now it is 2:23 AM and my mom is still sitting on the couch next to me.

On the way down here we listened to my parents' country music most of the way. I drove for about 4-1/2 hours and turned the cd player off. On the second leg of my dad's driviing shift they even had a Reba McIntyre book on tape playing (CD). I don't know if this is a Southern theme trip with the NASCAR and the music and the fireworks for sale on every corner and the Southern accents or I am being Punk'd. Okay Ashton Kutcher...you got me now let me off the hook.

I have a lot of notes and maybe I will use them to write tomorrow's blog but if I look at my notes now my couchmate will ask me, "whatchu readin'?" and then I will have to blog about that so I won't read my notebook now. I like silence and being alone in my thoughts and blogs occasionally. I can usually get alone time at 2:00 AM. I feel guilty not talking to her so we can wake up my dad by our talking so I guess I will end this blog. ARRRGGHH...

I am right across the border from Kansas; do you think clicking my heels and saying "there's no place like home, there's no place like home" would work or do I need to cross the border? Maybe I should pray for a twister.

Enjoy the fireworks tonight while I try to find size 10 ruby slippers and drive back to the MIDDLE Middlewest form the Southern Middlewest. I will be back in Illinois tonight. Blog you tomorrow when I am not so cranky and tired...I VANT TO BE ALONE (maybe in the shower?)...TTFN

NO PARENTS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG!!! - that's not to say what may happen at the conclusion of this blog. (it's 3:06 AM and she's still sitting next to me)

2 comments:

AnonymousJuly 4, 2010 at 3:24 AM
"POS"(parent over shoulder) Matt!

Loved this one the best! yuck...Reba?
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Matt HelserJuly 4, 2010 at 9:36 PM
Thanks D.C. I made sure she wasn't looking over my shoulder while I was blogging. It felt like a covert operation. Not only Reba but talk AND music...if I weren't an adult I would be contacting DCFS for child endangerment or cruelty or something
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!