Isn't Tomorrow February Fool's Day?

More like Jack-Ass

Sorry I am blogging so late today but the day got away from me quickly. It started with the usual stuff - getting Fabio up and going for school, making Fabio's lunch because he doesn't like the hot lunches, making Sugar Momma's coffee, driving Fabio to the bus stop because he dilly-dallied and wasn't out the door in time...then I went across town to pay the car payment, went to the store to make sure we have enough provisions (toilet paper and the like) to get us through SnowMattgeddon 2011, worked out, drove to Elburn to pick up Sugar Momma's new glasses, came back home and got a call asking if I could work in 30 minutes until 4:30 or so and now I am home and finally blogging you.

LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW

Supposedly the MIDDLEwest is gonna get walloped with a bunch of snow for the next few days. There's talks of 12" - 25" (TWSS) before it's done sometime Wednesday. Some are saying that it will be the biggest snow storm the MIDDDLEsection has ever seen. Global warming + 2012 just around the corner = a lot of "firsts" and "biggests" and "worsts." Isn't tomorrow February 1st? I'm not gonna fall for that one again. Get back with me January 2013 and I'll remind you that this was just somebody upstairs shaking a big snow globe for a couple of days. It's just a bunch or malarkey as we know it and I feel fine.

I am supposed to work basketball games Tuesday and Wednesday night. Good thing I have 4-wheel drive. I love driving in the snow; it's the others that I worry about. I hope the snow doesn't cause a bunch of stuff to get canceled. I want to work. Also, Fabio's honors breakfast at school is Wednesday morning. He has been on the A/B Honor Roll every semester since I can remember. I am very proud of him. he plays several sports and gets all "A's" and "B's" and still has time to keep the world safe in Call of Duty: Black Ops.

Last night the Screen Actors' Guild Awards (SAG) were on television. I didn't watch them but I am aware being in the movie review buz! My picks for the top five categories for Oscars (Academy Awards) were the top five winners for SAG's. Check my Oscar picks on MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS for these picks on January 27th and my new review of The King's Speech. I picked Colin Firth for Best Actor, Natalie Portman for Best Actress, The King's Speech for Best Picture (they vote the cast in the SAG's), Christian Bale for Best Supporting Actor and Melissa Leo for Best Actress. I told you they read this blog in Hollywood...and they are apparently copying off of my paper too. Damn you Damon!

How many more award shows and all-star games do we need this winter? Hey, I have a dream job and I make a bazillion dollars a year. Now, kiss my fragile bum some more....am I the only one who doesn't get this?

February is tomorrow (if we survive the blizzard). what does it mean if the groundhog is beuried and unavailable? What if he is frozen solid? Through January I have worked out 16.33 times (which is about 1,470 minutes or 29 1/2 hours) and I have lost four pounds. I am well on my way to achieving my 2011 resolutions but there is plenty of time to fail - BUT THAT'S NOT IN THE PLAN! As always, remember I love you and am happy you spend a few minutes with me every day. I will blog you tomorrow and you may get to read it from home because you'll be snow-bound. TTTT...MITM (burrrr)

The Winners (losers?) of "Win A Date With MITM" are...

Remember when $2.99/gallon was a lot?

Well, I blogged yesterday and 20 of you read it. That's a little less than the 60 - 70 that usually read it every day during the week but that's more than I expected, actually, so thank you; you make it worth blogging. I just got home from Fabio's basketball tournament and they are still without a win on the young season. They look much better, though, and they didn't get blown out in any of their three games today. Fabio finally started shooting, and hitting, in the last game. I don't know why he wasn't shooting more in the two early games but Coach Todd and I both spoke to him and told him not to worry about missing because that's what the forwards, the big guys down low,  are for. But he usually hits more than he misses so he should shoot. He is a shooting guard and a shooting guard should shoot, always. Fire at will dude...you have the green light.

Knowing we were going to Roscoe I didn't add fuel before we went. The gas station at the exit we take there always has lower gas prices than here; it's near the Illinois/Wisconsin border (Bears/Packers....too soon?). Today it was 10 cents cheaper than here and we are 10 cents cheaper than the Fox Valley. So, I filled up there and brought it back here.

Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?

As you may have read in yesterday's blog I went to dinner and a movie with two of the best broads I know (I know a lot of great dames though - that's a clue to which move we saw). We ate at Outback Steakhouse and then went to the Hollywood Palms cinema. For dinner I had the salmon which was very good. Then we went to the theater and we decided on The King's Speech (get it? Great dames?). I am not going to tell you anything about the movie or the theater right now because I am going to review them tonight and/or tomorrow at MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS. I would do it right now but I am sleepy after being out until about 11:00 and then being on the road again this morning at 7:00 (up at 5:30 because I didn't want to stink). The Fun Girls took a lot out of me  - "that's right doll!" Talk about a coupla hot tamales! I want to review them properly. I don't want to review them too fast or too slow...maybe more like half fast.

Tonight is the NFL Pro Bowl. What a waste of time. My brother lives in Hawaii so he is happy it's back there this year. He has gone to the game pretty much every year it has been there since about 1989 or so. I am sure it is pretty cool if you are there in person but it's kind of a waste on television. Actually, even blowing your nose is pretty cool in Hawaii. And, now that the game is the week before the Super Bowl the players from the two best teams of this season (this year that is the Packers and the Steelers) don't even play. It should be called "the Pro Bowl less some of the best players in the NFL because they have an actual important game to play next weekend." 

I just received the comic to the right on my Facebook from my life-long buddy John. You may remember him as one of the three angels that visited me (sent me the Christmas music) over the holiday and helped convince me that there really is a Spirit of Christmas and made my small heart grow three sizes. I think the comic speaks for itself...I know I will probably smoke a turd in Hell for this blog but I figure I will know more people there.

TTTT (or tonight if I review The King's Speech or Hollywood Palms Cinema). I will let you know when my review(s) are ready. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday and have a nice nap when the Pro Bowl comes on... MITM (signing off)  TA!

A Blog for Yous Broads! (and yous dudes too)

Happy Saturday. Thank you for the couple of you who said you would read my weekend blogs so here is THE SATURDAY MATT IN THE MIDDLE BLOGSPLAVAGANZA !!!! cue the music...

Courvoisier anyone?

Tonight I am going on a double date. Not me and Sugar Momma and another couple, oh no...me and two broads. That's right I said "two broads." If I am going to date like a Geico caveman I am going to blog like a caveman. It's actually me and Sugar Momma and MADYM. Though I want to sound like I am Leon Phelps it's more like a girlfriends' night out. I just went from being The Ladies Matt to one of the Sex and the City dames in one click of the keyboard. I don't know anything about the "SATC" chicks but I think Charlotte is the best looking so I want to be her. Carrie is married to Matthew Broderick and that would be nice too but if I were married to Matthew Broderick how would we know who people wanted to talk to when they called? But that tomata that plays Miranda is a lesbian and I like the ladies so I should probably be her. We should try to bring "broads" and "dames" back. I think I am just kidding about that but those words are fun to say for some reason. Maybe because I know they are wrong and I feel a little naughty saying them. So, me and these two dames are gonna go out tonight. I think we are going to Outback Steakhouse (that'll be three steak joints in in as many weeks - I sure do love testing this vegetarian thing) and then to Hollywood Palms "a cinema, bar and eatery" (Fox Valley) to watch a movie. I have to do the review of this place at MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS and right now I am leaning toward an average to poor review and I want to be fair because I really want to like it because it is a great concept. So, I will get more photos and give them another chance. We'll probably be at the theater about 7:00ish tonight if you want to join the Mattathon.

Stop pooping you wascal wabbit, stop pooping!

I let the dog out this morning and I noticed that our front yard looks like a giant bowl of Alfredo sauce heavily peppered (yes, I am hungry). The sauce is the snow and the pepper is rabbit pellets (but I'm not THAT hungry). You know that I am a bleeding heart, animal loving, liberal-ish type and I think these rabbits know it too. They are testing my vegetarianism more than all of these steak joints I am visiting of late. They are cute and all and they are great for the colored eggs they deliver but the little brown egg seeds or whatever they are leaving have to stop. These chocolate chip droppings all over our yard are multiplying like....you know it's coming (TWSS)... RABBITS!

Be vewy quiet!

I'm giving up on draining my blog notes. I will write whatever pops into my rabbit-pellet-sized brain and when I get stuck for topics I will look back at the stuff I haven't crossed off in my books.

I will blog again tomorrow sometime but Fabio has a basketball tournament in the huge metropolis of Roscoe, Illinois in the morning. It looks like he will be done by 2:00PM or so. My life sure has become about basketball lately. Women's and men's college basketball, high school basketball last night and 8th grade travel basketball all winter long. We are going to go to a Bulls or Bucks game soon too...Basketball Jones baby (man, you can't go wrong with Barry White with the ladies)! So, when Fabio is done with basketball tomorrow we will jump into The General Lee and make our way back to our side of the cornfield while being chased my Enos and Boss Hog. I sure hope Daisy has the vittles whipped up when we get back. Coo Coo Coo. Have a nice Saturday and I will blog you again tomorrow hopefully with a J-Barbs win or two or three. Even our team is named after barbed wire...corn makes the world go 'round...TTTT...MITM (ooot).

I Have a New Hero!

Today started off a little rocky. Over the last couple of weeks I have been getting spoiled to sleep all the way to 5:00AM. This is mainly due, I think, to me taking two Benadryls (ca-ching) each night about an hour or two before I want to fall asleep. I did the same last night and fell asleep fine but at 3:00AM I was awake. I think and hope the reason was because the television downstairs was left on all night by someone (through past experiences I will blame Sugar Momma though this is merely circumstantial) very loudly. I am pretty sure that I have some kind of allergies and the Benadryl (ca-ching-again) has been helping me reach the morning alarm for the past 13 out of 14 days. We'll see tonight.

This morning I worked out because I have to work at 3:00PM. We are hosting the big cross-cornfield basketball rivalry of Dekalb High School vs. Sycamore High School; both the girls teams and the boys teams. I will know quite a few people there tonight and I hope they don't make me throw them out. You other workout types...is it better to take protein before or after workouts? I hear and read different stories. Today I took it after for the first time and I will see if that makes a difference after a couple of weeks.

The other night I worked a men's college basketball game and there were five National Basketball Association (NBA) scouts at the game. We have been having NBA scouts at every game because the men have the third leading college scorer on their team right now. I just heard on one of the sports stations that they expect he will be drafted by the NBA in the first or second round. The NBA teams that were represented the other night were: Chicago, Dallas, Miami, Charlotte (MJ's team) and Boston - Cleveland didn't show. I am not telling any private information because this was also broadcast of the television coverage of the game that night. If it hadn't been I wouldn't have blogged it right there. Come on out to a game and see me and a future NBA player all for one price.

Gil Meche - my new sports hero!

Speaking of the NBA, Chicago Bulls' guard Derek Rose was named to the starting NBA All-Star team. He is the first Bulls' starter in the all-star game since Michael Jordan (His Airness). It was also reported that Rose, 22, has two stomach ulcers. In a related story (you will see how I relate them in a minute) Kansas City Royals' pitcher Gil Meche retired today. Normally this doesn't sound like news but the 32-year-old Meche is retiring because they want to pay him $12,000,000 per year. That's right, the reason he is retiring is because the Royals want to may him 12 million dollars a year starting this season. Meche said that, "I wasn't earning my money." Finally, someone in sports who is teaching our children integrity rather than greed. I don't know if I could have turned down $666,000 a day for a season where most of the time I was sitting on the bench. He is a MUCH better person that I am. Here comes the tie-in...Sugar Momma pointed out that maybe he doesn't want the pressure and scrutiny that $12,000,000 would bring. I don't know what Derek Rose makes but maybe the enormous pressure of his position has given him these ulcers. Be watching for Gil Meche because he will turn up somewhere. Talk shows for sure probably for free. Maybe he will work a deal that will be incentive-based and get paid by performance and rejoin the Royals. I applaud Gil Meche and hope this starts a trend in our professional sports, especially given our current economy in the USA. I hope he comes back for the money he feels is fair; our children need heroes  and role-models like this man.

That went too far too quickly again and it turned into a sports blog. It's Friday and I haven't decided if I will take the weekend off of blogging or not. If even one of you tells me that you will read it I will blog Saturday and Sunday. I should save my best stuff (like any of my lunacy could be called "best") and do them on the weekends. Enjoy the rest of you Friday and come on out and see hundreds of screaming kids at my work tonight. That's why I don't work in marketing.... TTTT (or Monday depending on you)...MITM (off).

Europe and Sadness...is there a difference? (it's not prejudice if you were born there right?)

I am gonna try to get some of my old MIDDLE blog books emptied but so much always happens so I will star with what I wrote while I deplasmified today...

Hold on, let's test the bomb!

I heard that there was a Moscow Terrorist who was stopped from killed hundreds or thousands of people because of a text message she received from her cell phone provider. The cell provider sent her cell phone a text message wishing her a Happy New Year. The bomb she was going to place was to be triggered by her cell phone when it received a message. I guess the bomb worked okay but it was still in her apartment with her. Another empty lie by a cell phone provider promise...she did not receiver her Happy New Year though many, many families had better New Years' because of this text. This is the song she was supposedly listening to when she died - Roz has a jazzier version for me though. These are the people America was in The Cold War with? what the heck were we afraid of? America is full of geniuses so nothing like that would ever happen in America.

Speaking of cell phones. Sugar Momma spoke to someone at T-Mobile over the weekend and told them about my phone crashing all the time because it is always searching for the internet and I don't want that feature. They said that is a problem with the Sidekicks so, they told her that they would give to me free for 30 days to try. Firstly, I never got free internet even though I got a text saying that I would and secondly, my damn phone crashed last night again. Luckily I am smart enough to save all of my new contacts to the sim card. I guess I am learning from their crappy technology. Maybe that terrorist in Moscow had a Sidekick? What kind of name is Sidekick for something that leaves you when you need them. That's no sidekick according to the Super Hero school where I was trained to become Mattman!

"It's like our Law and Order - just more British."

While I seem to be in Europe today I saw that there is a new Law and Order coming. I haven't kept up on all of the Law and Orders but I think there are more Law and Orders than there are Real Housewives ofs... Anyway, there is a Law and Order: U.K. starting on BBC America. Law and Order in wigs. Most of it is in English but there's a lot of that language that they speak in England too. I forget what it's called...cockney or English or The King's English or some such nonsense.

I almost forgot...my Oscar Picks are in  - visit MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS for the wieners.

Rest In Peace Greg

I'm not even close to emptying those blog-gests. I will keep trying but the world needs to be boring for a couple of days. You know that ain't ever gonna happen with you and me here. Enjoy the rest of your day and send good thoughts and prayers to Sugar Momma's (and a lot of you other MITM followers) good friend Greg Ledford's family. Greg lost his long battle with scleroderma (visit a link to find out more and read some of his blog entries by clicking his name highlighted back there <-----). I did not know him well but he was an inspiration to many, many people and, though he was very sick, he always kept his spirits, as well as everyone's around him, lifted high. The world did slow down a bit by it's loss of Greg. HE WILL BE MISSED!!! TTTT...MITM (solemnly out)

And the Blogger Goes to...

I just got home from a lunch meeting. Now since I got paid to eat lunch I can add a professional (or maybe even competitive) eater to my resume. That, coupled with the music critic and editor/magazine and book critic because I listen to music and read while donating plasma, my resume dance card is getting pretty full. Now I will write this blog and then head to work for a basketball game. I am guessing that it will be running on one of the ESPN's (probably The Ocho) because they were setting up the satellite truck when I was there earlier today.

And the Oscar goes to....

When I got home John Adams was in the mailbox. He looks bigger on television. Speaking of movies, the academy award nominations were announced yesterday. I am going to do my First Annual Academy Awards Prediction Blog tomorrow at Middle Movie Reviews. It will give me something to do while the plasma is being drained and I am getting paid to be a "professional" movie reviewer and clairvoyant (but you can call me Claire). That makes me wonder - why don't they say "and the winner is..." any more? I bet Ricky Gervais knows the answer. In the meantime, here is an Academy award trivia question for you.... "and the question is..."

He won't see you on Facebook!

"With the announcement of Jeff Bridges being nominated for Best Actor for his portrayal of Rooster Cogburn in True Grit he has the chance to make history as one of the two pairs of actors to win the award for playing the same character. John Wayne won the Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal in the original True Grit. Who were the only actors to win Best Actor Academy Awards for playing the same character? The answer is just a click away at MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS.

I heard that the Pope made a request that people stop, or at least slow down, on using computer social networks and spending more time with people in person (which probably means come to church). I agree with this to some extent but I know that it will not happen right away although I think the technology will continue to change and Facebook will be different or phased out by another social network someday like MySpace has virtually been. My prediction is that the The Vatican or the Catholic Church will eventually see that this is futile and design their own social network to cash in on the revenue that they are missing out on. My predictions on this blog have been 100% accurate 59% of the time so you know I'm right.

Como?

Recent announcements about Taco Bell in a Montgomery, Alabama lawsuit say that Taco Bell's ads stating that their"meat filling" isn't all meat. REALLY? Is anybody really surprised by this? Maybe Portillo's is smart not to make their nutritional information public (see yesterday's blog). Taco Bell responded with this statement on their website: "Taco Bell prides itself on serving high quality Mexican inspired food with great value. We're happy that the millions of customers we serve every week agree. We deny our advertising is misleading in any way and we intend to vigorously defend the suit." Whatever is in there it always gave me the Runs In My Unders! So now we vegetarians can Run To The Border because there is probably no meat in their "meat filling"? No (that's Spanish for "no")! I still like their potato tacos and I am pretty sure there's no meat in those.

These were all in my notebooks but they weren't from a long time ago, as you noticed. That's why I can never get rid of these notebooks; I can never get them emptied. I should probably start calling them blog books (like a log - "captain's blog"). Whatever I call them they are still full and not getting emptier so tomorrow I will again attempt to get some of the old stuff out of the blog books. I will end with one... "should there really be lint in my dryer's lint trap or does that mean that my vent hose and/or outside vent are plugged? I am gonna start using that lint for something...beginning tomorrow. TTTT (do you think the Pope would be mad if I declared tomorrow the first day of Lint?)... MITM (out)

MITM - The Founding Father's Addition

I am going to try to empty some of my thoughts from over the past few weeks as they were written in my notebooks. Some of the things I blog today may be dated but if I don't write them now they will be as dated as The Dead Sea Scrolls (that would be kinda funny if it weren't so stupid).

What would Blogo do?

Did you see that the biggest city in the MIDDLEwest is playing Chicago politics again? Rahm Emanuel, President Obama's Chief of Staff who left that office to pursue a run for mayor of Chicago, has been taken off of the ballot by a court in Illinois because he didn't reside in Illinois for the past two years? I have mixed feelings about this. Firstly, a rule is a rule I guess but he still had a house here and he was helping to run our government. I am guessing that he knew more about what was going on in Chicago than most, if not all of, the other people that are running for mayor. So, they protest him and take out the candidate that, in my opinion, would do the most for the city based on the other candidates. I am sure it will go to the Illinois Supreme Court and it will be over-turned and he will be allowed to run and he will be the next mayor of Chicago even if he is a write-in candidate. All the while, costing the tax-payers thousands and thousands of dollars. I hear Al Capone is voting for Harold Washington though.

Nutritious? Very doubtful given the secrecy!

Now that Sugar Momma is on Weight Watchers she is becoming very aware of what she is eating and she is wanting and needing to know nutritional information. She loves Portillo's (that is a MIDDLE - well, Chicago area, beef/hot dog place). If you're interested...they do not have nutritional information available. Check that Portillo's website link I provided and see that they say "we don't have nutritional information available at this time." I thought that restaurants had to provide this information. Splenda, who has been a vegetarian a lot longer that I, loved their french fries. One time when she ordered them the woman who was taking her order asked if she was a vegetarian. When Splenda told her that she was the lady told her that she was also a vegetarian and that their fries are cooked in their meat drippings. Splenda was mortified and would never have known if not for a fellow vegetarian "spy." we should have pressed this Benedict Arnold for more info but we were not aware of the Mickey D's secret sauce or the KFC original recipe conspiracy at that time.

How much do you suppose John Hancock's John Hancock is worth?

Why are autographs worth money? Where did this start? Was it John Hancock? Supposedly the most valuable autographs are William Shakespeare and Abraham Lincoln. As far as living people the most valuable, according to an ebay auction, is Neil Armstrong's which is worth $6500.. Why? I bet Jack LaLanne's autograph value just went up. (boo, hiss, TOO SOON! TOO SOON!)

Today on the way back from donating plasma I returned a library book to the DeKalb Public Library that was due March 7, 2007 - oops. I am guessing my library card won't work anymore; I was surprised that they were still there actually. Good thing I blog faster than I read. Thank goodness for the internet.

I have been watching John Adams (the HBO mini-series) via Netflix for the past few weeks. It is not available on the "instant view" option and the discs are broken up into three different discs/mailing. I have watched the first two discs which included episodes I through V and now I am awaiting the final disc. It is really, really good. The reason I mention it is that there is a rumor that Netflix is going to stop the mailing portion of their program. I don't know if that means the good movies will be available for instant viewing or they won't have the newer movies or the price will go up or what? I also heard that there is talk of about half of the post offices in the country may be closing soon. Is there a correlation here? Remember how I blogged that I thought the USPS owned Netflix or visa versa? Curiouser and curiouser. I hope my autographed copy of John Adams arrives tomorrow before this rumor comes to fruition.

Okay...too long (TWSS). That didn't even make a dent in my notebooks. Unless something big happens tonight I will continue to blog the Old Testament of my notes sprinkled with some new stuff on the morrow. Have a great Toothday. TTTT...MITM (outta here)

Baby Bear Steps!

Today's theme song (Jonathon Brandmeier played this all the time because he was a cheese-head and it always cracked me up!)

I don't know if you missed me this weekend or if you even noticed that I haven't blogged since Friday. It wasn't by design at first but then when I didn't blog Saturday I decided to wait until today. So, to my Facebook friend Bruce wolf who is thinking of starting a blog I offer you this advise. Don't bother blogging on the weekends because very few people read those blogs anyway. I think most people read my blog from their workplaces or while they are drinking their coffee getting ready for work. That's my lobotomy line on blogging.

More like dipped in Cheese-Whiz

So, I guess there was some big sports deal that went on in the MIDDLEwest yesterday. Fabio's basketball tournament got canceled (apparently his birthday is now an official holiday) because of the MIDDLEwestern Bowl (Bears vs. Packers) so I ended up working a college basketball game that was moved up from 3:00PM to noon to also accommodate the Bears/Packers NFC Championship game. You know that I predicted the Packers would win here last week and now I am actually glad they did. I got so tired of hearing Bears this and Mars Cheese Castle that. Now we can just live our lives and blame Jay Cutler for everything. I like Jay Cutler though I am not necessarily a Bears' fan. I grew up in the 70's so I like the Steelers and the Dolphins (the powerhouses of my yute). Remember how crazy excited all of you were when you heard Cutler was going to be a Bear and how you couldn't believe it? He got you to the NFC Championship!  People have been dogging Cutler for the last two seasons. You think they would have been happy that he was knocked out of the game but instead they make him out as the reason that the Bears lost. You get what you want and then you complain about that. He was the only one who knows how his knee felt and as a competitor I am POSITIVE he wanted to be out there with a chance to bring the team back to a victory. Don't worry, the Cubs will be playing soon and their miserable play will make you forget all about Da Bears! I don't mean it to seem like am bashing the Bears and the Cubs because I am not. I always blog about how I love passion in people so I have to say that I admire the Bears and the Cubs fans for their passion though I may not agree with their choices.

They're gonna be in Augusta Feb 10th!

So, by Fabio's tournament getting rescheduled I also got to work a rock concert called Winter Jam Saturday night. Wow, you want to talk about passion... there were nearly 10,000 people packed into our stadium praising their LORD! There were ten musical acts playing to the packed crowd. Though these people were many they were among the nicest, most well-behaved large group that I have ever been a witness to. I hope this show returns next year because, though it was a lot of work, the people there made it a joy to work and I would definitely volunteer to work it again next year. The final/feature act of the night was Newsboys (I guess I am now an evangelist by sharing their message there <----- St. Matthew In The Middle). I had heard a couple of their songs on the radio and I didn't even know they were a Christian group. They were really good and I was happy I was there to receive their message I guess. At the end of their show their drummer was on a lift that hoisted him with his entire drum kit and turned him and it completely sideways in the air and spun around while he was playing. He was doing complete 360's sideways while playing...it was amazing; I would have puked or dropped a drumstick or something. Then, after their show, they all went out into the lobby and signed autographs for about an hour until everybody who wanted an autograph got one.. Maybe somebody upstairs planned for the Bears game to make Fabio's tournament get canceled so I could volunteer to work the concert and the basketball game and I am on the way to being saved...baby steps.

Well, this blog is totally different than I pictured it going because I didn't use my notes at all so I should have it easy blogging the rest of the week. Now, to do more laundry, put away the dishes I (the dishwasher) just washed and work-out. I am truly a domestic Zeus and I will never, never let Sugar Momma forget she's a WOman! Have a nice Bears' mournful manic Monday. TTTT...MITM (aus)!

Respect the Gravity of this Blog!

I have had an action-packed day so now I am going to write a quick blog so people can read it before they head home from work. This blog was just voted America's 27th most popular work distraction...thank you for that.

Lou's only flaw is that he is a Cubs fan

This morning I went with Sugar Momma to work. When we were on our two-day mini get-away we went to a Macy's furniture outlet store and bought a couple of pieces of furniture. It was such a good deal that we bought them and I said "we'll figure out how to get them home later." They gave us a week to pick them up. I figured they would miracle themselves to our house. One of the great things about me is that I am incredibly impulsive most of the time. One of the worst things about me is that I am incredibly impulsive most of the time. They would deliver the furniture (and they said they would schedule the delivery if we didn't pick them up within a week - which was today). I knew I had this to fall back on but the delivery charges were about two-thirds again the cost of the furniture. Sugar Momma works with our good friend Lou who has a truck that he said I could borrow which is why I went with Sugar Momma to work on the coldest day in the history of recorded temperatures. So, Sweet Lou let me use his Dodge Ram V8 pick-up with big over-sized mudder tires to haul the furniture back home. I felt pretty invincible in his truck...very nice truck. The guy at Macy's helped me load it and let me use "all the rope I wanted" to tie it down. I tied it down and headed West while my fingers burned from being outside in negative 24 degree wind chills tying furniture down. When I arrived with the furniture at home I unloaded it myself. I felt like Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs when he was "trying" to load the coach in the van by himself. SPOILER ALERT - except I was not intending to make a woman suit if someone helped me. Isaac Newton helped me unload the furniture though. Thank you Lou...I love you!

You gotta love gravity

Today was garbage day. I didn't know if it was going to go today or not because of Martin Luther King's birthday Monday. We took it out anyway, just in case. I would rather have it sit on the curb for an extra day than in our garage for an extra week. So, the garbage man did come. Why is Martin Luther King Day not a garbage-pickup holiday?

When I was driving out to Fox Valley Mall area and back to MIDDLE cornfield-land I couldn't help but seeing a treasure chest full of Gold for Cash stores. When did all of these blood-sucking stores pop-up? I suppose they do help some people get through rough financial times but they also make it too easy for people to do things they will probably regret one day. I sold a bunch of great sports cards when Sugar Momma and I first got married about 24 years ago. I still regret it from time to time.

Okay it's about quarter to five on Friday and I have to post this so you have time to read it before you shut down your computer for the weekend. I will blog you again tomorrow because my notebook is jam-packed. Have a great Friday night - tomorrow is Fabio's birthday (the big 14). TTTT...MITM (out).

Today's Theme - Change

Blogging for Change!

My plans have changed somewhat today so I am blogging now instead of wondering when I am gonna have time to blog today. I actually like when things change - I like change. I have a huge jar of it. I love change so much that I recently went so far as to change my zodiac sign. I find that I perform better on the fly. I am a good improviser probably because I think there's less pressure with improv and expectations aren't usually as high. So, now that your expectations for this blog are low I will definitely make you not unhappy. That's right, not unhappy - definitely!

Now...on with the blog with my special guest star Miss Bernadette Peters...yay!

I just got back from donating plasma and I realize that I really missed donating plasma. I like that I get to read the paper and my Men's Health magazine and just get to be unbugged for an hour without guilt. Unbugged except for the blood constantly being drained and pumped back into my body, that is. I sit there for two hours a week and they pay me $50 to read and listen to music. Does that make me a music and literary critic if I get paid to listen to music and read? I may add those to my resume. I actually started a Plasma playlist on Roz. Right now it contains 16 songs and gets me through the entire deplasmification. I will change the playlist as my moods change. I just added the two songs from the past two blogs that I bought from i-tunes yesterday (One Love and Stand By Me by Playing for Change). I even donate to charity when I buy music. Hey, I can add two more to the donate to charity list over there ---> now.

Yes, I called the number. It's a heating and plumbing company supposedly

I am going to try to keep this shorter today because I think I have been intimidating people with my incredible blog length lately (TWSS).

I don't know if this is a scoop or it is mainstream news yet but it has been reported that Ricky Gervais will appear on an upcoming episode of The Office. I have been a big fan of both the British The Office and the American The Office for, what seems. forever. If you are not familiar with the British version it is the original and takes place in England. Gervais played David Brent who was the model for Steve Carell's Michael Scott. Is this a coincidence that this news comes right after Gervais shocked the world with his irreverence as The Golden Globe Awards' emcee/host? Gervais is a promotional genius. So, with this being Carell's final season on The Office could David Brent, who was laid-off/unemployed ("redundant" as the English call it), possibly be moving to America to take Michael Scott's job? I hope so because I fear that The Office will go down hill without Michael Scott and become redundant; I think this would save the show. (there's my rumor for today Perez Hilton)

Geez, I have so much more to blog but...you know... (TWSS)

I have to go back up town to the post office to mail John Adams (episodes 1 and 2) back to Netflix and apply for a job that I saw a sign for on the way home from plasma-fun time. I really want to talk about the post office and Netflix again right now because I have come across some new news (is there really old news or would that be olds?) but I know if I get into it this will be (adjective). Whatever happened to Mattlibs (mad libs)? Alright I am gonna get the (noun) out of here. Thanks for stopping by again. You give me a reason to keep writing and "remember, a writer writes, always." I appreciate you very much. Have a great Thirsty and I will (verb) you again tomorrow if you will have me. TTTT...MITM (thirsty and out).

So, Matt Damon is Apparently Ticked at Me!

cue today's music (because I got so much love from yesterday's blog-ending tune I thought I would share another of my favorites with you). Playing For Change rocks (literally)!

I am blogging a little earlier than usual today. I love the smell of blogging in the morning; it smells like...victory. I have a lot to do around the house, I have to work-out today even though my Mattscles are still a bit sore from the back-to-back work-outs...time to be shocked again noodle arms. Then after that I get to work a basketball game this afternoon/evening. 

Voiced by Robert Downey Jr. and PROBABLY Matt Damon?

Remember several months ago I talked about Sherman and Peabody and Robert Downey Jr. doing the voice of Mr. Peanut? I received further evidence (proof to me) that somebody in Hollywood reads this blog. Robert Downey Jr. has just signed-on to do the voice of Mr. Peabody in an upcoming Mr. Peabody and Sherman movie. I know it's probably Matt Damon stealing all of my intellectual property because of all of those Jib Jab Christmas videos I put him in. He said he wasn't sore about only getting bit parts in my videos but I sensed he was upset. Now, it seems, my suspicions were correct. McConaughey, Perry, Fox, Dillon, Lillard, LeBlanc would have all killed for the opportunity. Just wait and see...they will announce that Damon is doing Sherman's voice (this is how Perez Hilton gets his gossip). Wait until Matt (Damon) comes to the MIDDLEwest to film more of his movie Contagion with Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Demetri Martin, Laurence Fishburne, Bryan Cranston and Kate Winslet; I will have a few choice words for him. Maybe I should host a wrap party here?

Home gastric bypass as seen on Ebay

I heard this morning that someone on Ebay has a home gastric bypass surgery kit for sale. I sure hope that it comes with a free brain surgery kit because you'd have to be a moron to A) buy any home surgery kit on Ebay and B) perform major surgery on yourself unless you are in a war movie or live in a fourth-world country. I have very little respect for the medical industry on a whole as I know they all want to keep us slightly sick so we can keep coming back with our monopoly insurance dollars but I do respect them for performing my surgeries. I could see maybe hiring someone from Craigslist to come over and perform surgery on me in my garage but I am not going to have someone unqualified, like me, perform my surgery. As long as they can sell surgery kits maybe they can soon start to prescribe good ju ju medicines on Ebay...now that I that would be interested in. They almost have to offer meds so you can recover from your own surgery right?

Larry King quit and Piers Morgan got his job. Now Regis Philbin is leaving his show and I want to announce right now that I am willing to talk about replacing him. I guarantee they could get me for A LOT less than they will pay the person they actually do end up getting to replace "Reeg." Wouldn't you rather see a person like me, who would get star-struck and ask what you really want to know about celebrities?  Make it happen Perez Hilton...I will give you my first exclusive interview as the new host of Live with Kelly and "who is that dude"?.

Obama Hears a Hu!

Chinese President Hu is in Washington D.C. today. Tonight President Obama is hosting a State Dinner in his honor. Do you suppose they will have Roast Beast? I thought of the tie-in with Horton and the Hu when I saw Hu speaking on the White House lawn on television this morning and President Obama was standing next to Hu listening. I like Obama but he does have Horton-like ear qualities. I thought I would mention it and blog it before Jon Stewart does so I can pretend like he reads my blog and steals my stuff too. It would be better if Obama were a Republican though because then the whole elephant with big ears would be even better. I guess donkeys have kinda big ears too. As for the speech Hu may as well speak as quietly as a Who because it's all Chinese to me. (OMG I kill me but not with my own surgery) I imagine Hu was the primary speaker. When they were preparing the itinerary for today's speech do you think it went something like:
"Who is going to speak first?"
"Hu."
"That's what I'm asking you, Who?"
"Right."
"They have someone named Wright?"
"Who?
"I still need to get this...who speaks first? Wright?
"Hu is right!"
"THAT"S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT...WHO?"
"Right... Hu is right"
"AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!"

That's enough hilarity for one day or you'd have to buy a surgical laughter removal kit from Ebay. Have a nice Hump Day. I am off to do my chores. TTTT...MITM (Hu?)

I am a Proper Sugar Momma's Gentleman

Mr. French is my Sugar Momma's Gentleman role model

Cue today's music. I am on my lunch break and I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather spend it with than you. I started the day off by donating plasma again. I hadn't done it in about a month but since I have committed to donating to charity for 2011 I am back on the plasma train so I can get those numbers up over there ---->. After plasma I came home and sorted out my old clothes. Sugar Momma has a bunch of clothes she wanted me to take to Goodwill and I have plenty of my old Fat Matt clothes that I will never be big enough for again so I added them to Sugar Momma's items. Some of them are very very nice things but I have no need for them so might as well donate (ching ---->). Then I did a little shopping. I needed laundry detergent so I got that and now I am on my third load of laundry. I also cleaned the kitchen. While I was out at Goodwill and the store I picked up Sugar Momma's dry cleaning. I am a wonderful Matt-Servant or a woman's gentleman (I can't be a gentleman's gentleman because Sugar Momma is no gentleman). After "lunch" I am going to go downstairs to clean the basement. I want to have a poker game before the winter is over. I haven't hosted a game for over a year and that has caused the basement to close in on itself. I usually have 20 - 30 people here for poker so if you want to be on the invite short-list let me know and I will let you know when poker comes back to Mattgarita Island if the selection committee deems you worthy (I am the entire committee).

Mr. Belvedere is my blogging / Matt-servant role model

I am in a little pain today. It's the "no gain" kinda pain so it's all good. I worked-out last night even though I had worked-out the night before. I did this so I could get chiseled like Giles and Lynn (if I knew these I doubt I was the only one). Actually, I knew I was gonna donate plasma today and you're not supposed to lift heavy things after donating and Sugar Momma was gonna work-out so I did two days in a row.  Experts say you're supposed to shock your muscles once in awhile to grow...they are sufficiently shocked because they are fighting back.  I can tell my work-outs are working because during deplasmification today I was listening to Roz and tapping my chest and I actually have solid pecs. I no longer have the Moobs (Matt Boobs) I once had. There is still a little Moobage there but the pecs are taking over! Go Pecs Go!

Do people actually use celery salt on celery? Maybe peanut butter or Cheese-Wiz should be called celery salt. I had so much more to blog about but I blogged on like I do and now we're getting to where I should cut it off. I had this next thing planned for today so here it is and then I'm gone like Moobs.

I know that I keep dwelling on this astrology thing but Sugar Momma is the only one in our house that hasn't changed. I went from Virgo to Leo and both kids were Aquarians (not aquariums) and are now Capricorns. Our house is really screwed up. I mentioned the end of the world yesterday and the change in the stars...have you heard about all of the different amounts of animals dropping dead recently?

450 red-winged blackbirds, brown-headed cowbirds, grackles and starlings were found littering a highway in Baton Rouge, Louisiana

3,000 blackbirds fell dead onto roofs and roads in the small town of Beebe, Arkansas
Thousands of 'devil crabs' washed up along the Kent coast near Thanet
Thousands of drum fish washed along a 20-mile stretch of the Arkansas River
Tens of thousands of small fish washed up dead in Chesapeake Bay, Maryland
Thousands of dead fish were found floating dead in a warm Florida creek
hundreds of snapper fish were found dead in New Zealand
Scores of American Coots were found dead on a Texas highway bridge
200 dead cows in Wisconsin
7000 dead buffalo and cows frozen to death in Vietnam


What in the Helser is going on? I am not generally an alarmist but I am concerned; not like there's anything I could do about IT even if I knew what IT was. Now that I have cheered you up it's off to clean the basement so I can have poker night Armageddon. (<---- click there for one of my favorite videos ever) TTTT (maybe)...MITM!

Blog at Last, Blog at Last...

Four months ago I stood on this historical spot where Dr. King spoke!

Happy Martin Luther King Junior's birthday. It seems weird wishing everybody happy birthday on MLK day. Unless you are Betty White because it really is her birthday today. Martin Luther King Jr. is one of those people in history that I am a huge fan of. He knew what he believed in and he knew what he knew was right and he "fought," and died, for his beliefs and the betterment of humanity. Did you know his real first name was Michael but he changed it to Martin? Martin sounds much more dignified I think but that may be because that's how I know him and he exuded dignity. He is best known for the peaceful march on Washington D.C. where he delivered his famous "I Have a Dream" speech. He became the youngest person to win the Nobel Peace Prize and when he won he donated all of the money that came with the prize to further the civil rights movement. What a great, unselfish humanitarian he was. His dream is coming closer to becoming reality but we still have a long way to go. Do your part to help.

Last night was the Golden Globe Awards. How does Sofia Vergara not win an award called a Golden Globe? I guess they figured she already has two. badoom ching

Dr. King's view (less 250,000)

I am not much of a church-goer, as you know, but President Obama might be getting me to reconsider my stance on organized religion. He has partially lifted the ban on visiting Cuba and one of the groups that can go there are church groups that are going there for religious reasons. If you are a member of a church that is going to Cuba please consider me as a convert, at least temporarily, to your religion. I will help you spread the word to this beautiful un-Americanized country. I have always wanted to visit Cuba and I want to get there before commercialization ruins the beauty. I have never wanted to go through Canada or Mexico to get there as I do value my United States citizenship and I am too stupid to be a man without a country who does all of my thinking for me. Churches are always looking for recruiting tools...this idea I give you for free; well, not totally free since you have to take me to Cuba. I bet Cuba Libres taste a lot better in Cuba. A Cuba Libre is really just a fancy name for a rum and coke.

"Prediction? Pain!"

While Sugar Momma and I were at our hotel getaway for a couple of days we worked out in their gorgeous workout room. It was a huge room with rubber floors. I am used to rubber rooms but this was only rubber floors. The walls were not rubber and two of the walls were floor to ceiling glass windows so we could watch the world go by while we worked out. We worked out  in the MIDDLE of the day so we had the whole place to ourselves. Every piece of equipment had a television built-in. That was two days ago. Last night was workout time again and I felt like Rocky Balboa when he was training for his rematch with Clubber Lang (Mr. T.) in Rocky III and he returned to the old way of training in the little cramped gym. I had gone from training like the World Heavyweight Champion for one day to training like a MIDDLE-aged fighter again. I like the Champ workout better. Last night Sugar Momma worked out with me again and even Fabio came down to pump some iron. Not to be left out, our tough little Yorkiepoo Maisy hung out as our mascot. I am very proud of Sugar Momma. Since her surgery, now that she is feeling like a real person again, she has joined Weight Watchers and is working hard to be healthier. She sees how it has changed me for the better and she wants to be "free at last, free at last..."

I know this next prediction is not going to be very popular with many of you MIDDLERS, unless you are upper-MIDDLERS (except for my upperMIDDLER buddy Brian who will dislike my prediction too), but I think the Green Bay Packers are going to go to The Super Bowl. Don't worry, I am wrong more than I am right so you Bears' fans have that on your side.

I had more typed but moved it to another page for tomorrow's blog. I guess I really like blogging.  Honor Dr. King today by being tolerant of others and opening your mind to all of us living together in harmony. I know that's what my good friend Corey Feldman is doing today. TTTT...MITM (free at last).

Blog's Length May Seem Longer than it is! (TWSS)

I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman

Don't be intimidated by the length of today's blog (TWSS); it's very gentle and loving.

When I re-read my blogs I find that I complain an awful lot. Why stop now? I sure am tired (today's complaint). Yesterday I worked two basketball games after going out on the town the night before (actually, even though we were out, I was a little duddier than I usually am). All the extracurricular activities like: hanging with Corey Feldman, shopping at hoidy-toidy shops like Brooks Brothers and Ralph Lauren..., staying in the same hotel as Sammy Hagar, going to one of the most famous steak houses in the world with a couple of very good friends, bar-hopping in Naperville and doing other fun things that a gentleman (or me either) doesn't talk about really wore this old bird out. I love being worn out. Wear me out whenever you want...I am not tired until it's over.

Sugar Momma and I took Splenda and her fish Pearl to meet up with her friends so they could make the long trek back to warmer weather to school. It's always sad to see her go. We went to Red Robin for dinner last night as a send-off (her choice). I sure do go to a lot of carnivorous eateries for a vegetarian don't I (I had the BOCA bruschetta burger)? That photo I put on the blog a couple of days ago with the television in the mirror...Splenda said I looked like a Tele-Tubby. It was funny but I am kinda sensitive about being associated with being tubby any more. I want to be a Tele-MIDDLE. I especially don't want to be known as Tinky Winky; how emasculating would that be?

The new zodiac sign Ophiuchus looks like one bad mutha!

As you know, while I was away I changed from a Virgo to a Leo with one fell swoop. I am only two days from being a Virgo so I guess I am on the cusp or whatever people who believe in astrology call it. So now, Sugar Momma and I are both Leos because she hasn't changed. If she had changed I would probably have to leave her because I like her the way she is. I guess she could leave me now because I have changed and I am no longer the innocent virgin (Virgo) with two children that she thought I was. Now I am the King of the Jungle (or forest) that procreates with any Leoness that comes along (TWSS). I am pretty lost on what changes. Sugar Momma and I were talking about it and I guess the stars and planets have shifted or something and now there is a new constellation called Ophiuchus. The twelve zodiac symbols that have been around for 3,000 years now fall on different dates and include a new star. So, now there are thirteen signs. I have always LOVED the number thirteen so that part's cool with me but a lot of people fear the number thirteen. The heavens are shifting...were the Mayan's right about the year 2010 after all? Or does this shift the predicted end of the World to 2013 now? Does this even mess up the entire calendar so now we should have thirteen months per year and it's like 1972 now instead of 2011? May I was born in 1927? This may have changed everything we know about everything throughout history. I am too MIDDLE to have to relearn anything. I am just now getting to the awesome part of life where I am forgetting everything.

Corey Feldman & Southpaw... I hang with all of the A-listers!

I know this blog is long (you know WSS) but it's the Sunday addition and it's usually packed-full. When I was working yesterday I found out that it was our mascot's birthday. They had a surprise party and some of his mascot friends showed up...seriously. There was an ice cream cone from Culver's but I cannot remember his/her name, there was a cardinal from Cardinal Fitness, there was Hammy who is the mascot of the Rockford Ice Hogs (minor league for the Chicago Blackhawks) and Southpaw the Chicago White Sox mascot. I was going to approach Southpaw about being on my show MATTscot Wars but he was pretty busy. They sort of did steal my idea when the mascots competed with some kids in musical chairs...have you ever seen a giant ice cream cone try to sit down? Pretty darned funny. Maybe next time he/she should wear a waffle cone.

I will end now with plenty more to blog about our weekend and empty some of my notebook scribbles before I misplace them. Tomorrow is Martin Luther King's birthday so who knows what I'll blog? I will keep blogging until the blogging is done. I am going to get the True Grit review up today too and I will let you know when to go to MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS. TTTT...MITM (to watch some football and probably fall asleep on the couch - awesome!)

Hi Ho Hi Ho...it's back to work I go! (part-time still)

Good Saturday morning to you. If you're reading this Saturday afternoon or Saturday night - good Saturday afternoon or Satuday night to you. Good whatever it is right now while you're reading this to you. I woke up today still in the Hotel Arista after a night of eating more food than I have eaten in any entire week for the past year.

Best dessert I have ever had

You may ask yourself, "why would a vegetarian have dinner at the World-famous Morton's Steak House?" I like to test my resolve sometimes. I did not stop eating meat because I do not like meat; I do like the taste of meat. Particularly steak and a tasty burger. Morton's was an ultimate test. Sugar Momma and I went with our friends MADYM and MisterYM. They are Morton's V.I.P.'s so they know the tricks and secrets to having a great Morton's experience. Sugar Momma and I got a little known deal where we each got a steak and shrimp, 2 sides, a salad, and dessert for far-less than you would normally pay. For my salad I got the lettuce wedge topped with blue cheese. I didn't pay close enough attention when it was described to me as it came with bacon bits sprinkled on top. I just pushed the bacon to the side as best as I could. The salad was easily a half of a head of lettuce. At least I was smart enough not to have any bread - dieting has helped me with that for sure. The salad was amazingly good (I love blue cheese - big fan of mold I am...where do you think penicillin came from?). Normally I would have probably stopped eating there but a lot more came. Holy crap both of my feet are asleep. Excuse me for a moment while I walk around my luxury hotel room on pins and needles to stop the tingling. Wow, that was slightly painful. Then the main course came. Even though they are a steak house they were kind enough to let me substitute the steak for sea bass. The shrimp was fantastic. Other than the texture difference if I hadn't known differently I would have guessed my shrimp was lobster. Easily the best shrimp I have ever had. I had never had sea bass before but it was very good with a pineapple chutney or salsa on top. Our sides were baked potatoes and grilled asparagus with drizzled balsamic vinegar. I will begin grilling asparagus as soon as grilling season is open. Then came the desserts. I don't normally order dessert anymore but it was part of the deal and I worked out before dinner so what the heck. I had the hot chocolate cake. It was like a little chocolate bundt cake filled with a kind of a warm chocolate pudding. It was the most amazing dessert I have ever had. Maybe it was easy to impress here as I don't eat desserts much anymore but when Sugar Momma, who had the apple pie, tasted my chocolate cake she made the "O" face. Then we got Bailey's Irish Cream though Sugar Momma had Frangelico. The final bill was $400 with tip for the four of us. It sounds like a lot, and it is I guess, but we never do this sort of thing and I failed to mention all of the drinks we had during and before the meal. Without the drinks we would have saved about $130. Now I have to go work two basketball games today to pay for the appetizers. I didn't take photos because I left my camera in my coat which was in the coat check room - I am such a moron. Thanks for not arguing.



Morton's Sea Bass

Since that restaurant review took so long I will have to blog about the remainder of our get-away from not away tomorrow. We went out for a while after dinner too. Tomorrow is a sad day as Splenda goes back to school. I think she will be happy to be back at school.We drive her crazy now I think. That's what families are for though right? Have a nice Saturday. If you are looking for something to do today come on out and watch an entire day of college basketball. I'll autograph your program for you :) TTTT...MITM  (sorry if there are typos today - I am using the little computer that the "r's" don't work very well. I tried to catch them but all of a sudden time is running out.)

Hangin' with Corey Feldman (accidentally)



I love television so much I ate it (really it is IN the mirror)

 It's Friday I thing right? The last couple of days have been kinda wild with working the Farm Show from sun-up to sun-down the last two days; instead of banker's hours I was working farmer's hours, ironically. Then, after I got off of work yesterday, Sugar Momma and I loaded up the Mattmobile and headed here to Naperville and spent the night at Hotel Arista. Of course, I remembered my laptop so I could blog you. The Hotel Arista is a green hotel and buys most of their food items locally. It is REALLY fancy. We even have a mini televison inside of our bathroom mirror. I slept great too (yes, I brought the Benadryl Ranger). I heard on the television in the bathroom that I may not be a Virgo anymore. The horoscope signs have switched. I don't even know who I am anymore!



It could be Corey Feldman or maybe Michael Jackson



Last night, after checking into the hotel, we went for dinner and a show. Not a fancy pants show but at a place where we have wanted to try for awhile. We decided to drive down the street a bit and have dinner at Hollywood Palms. The word must have got out that we were going to be there because there was a huge long line. Being who I am I forced my way to the front of the line to see that it was leading to a redcarpet area. They literally rolled out the red carpet for us. I thought that until I saw a sign above the table at the end of the carpet that was welcoming Cory Feldman (the weird Cory). So, Sugar Momma and I went to the bar and she had Halle Berry  (pomegranite martini) and I had the Tequila Mockingbird. Then I had five more regular margaritas after that. Hmmmm working twelve hours and then five margaritas and Benadryl - no wonder I slept well. After a little while Michael Jackson, I mean Cory Feldman, walked in. I had my camera with me so I walked over, made my way to the front of the red carpet and snapped some shots. Mattarazzi! He was good in The Goonies and Stand By Me. He looked excited to see me.

Hollywood Palms theater - while we watched True Grit...they watched us.

So, after several drinks and an appetizer of artichoke/spinach dip called Grinch Dip. We went to see True Grit. I will review it later on MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS but I am enjoying the lap of luxury in my terrycloth robe right now. I will also review the Hollywood Palms theater there too. I may review them later today or maybe Sunday because I work two, count 'em two, basketball games tomorrow. Tonight Sugar Momma and I are going to Morton's Steak House with MADYM and MisterYM. I like it easy for hitmen (hitpersons) to find me if they need to.

I have already showered but I gotta get out of this terrycloth robe and get dressed and get some breakfast at Sugar Toad (the restaurant downstairs) near Carlton The Doorman. I wonder if Sugar Momma is related to this Sugar Toad dudette (or dude - Sugar Toad is gender non-specific). I will probably blog you again early tomorrow. Have a nice Friday. TTTT...MITM.

Get Your Christmas Goose Early!

Why the baseball cap?

cue the music

Happy Friday!!!! I have to leave for work in about 20 minutes or so, so this blog will probably be like most of them; quick and incoherent. Yesterday I worked from 5 - 5:30 and today I was scheduled to work at 5:00 again but as I was leaving I was told that I didn't need to come in today until "a little before 6:00" today. It didn't matter to me one way or another at the time but I didn't have to try to rush through the blog last thing. Now I can rush through it this morning instead. I am scheduled to work until probably 6 or 7 tonight but I am hoping I can convince the other supervisor that I am working with this afternoon to let me go early because Sugar Momma and I have an adventure planned this evening. Since he comes in at noon I am sure he will be on board. I can't tell you about the adventure now because then you wouldn't have any surprises to look forward to tomorrow.

Yesterday at the Farm Show I think I saw more baseball caps than there were during the entire baseball All-star weekend. That includes the home run derby and all of the pre-game festivities as well as the All-star game itself. I am talking about players and fans both. Yesterday was all about pick-up trucks and baseball caps. I did not see one cowboy hat. Come on farmers...we want cowboy hats! (well, I do)

The other day while we were up in Palatine for Fabio's basketball tournament my lips were chapped and I discovered that I didn't have my Matty Chapstick with me. I asked Sugar Momma if I could use hers so she handed me this stuff called Burt's Bees. I removed the cap and looked at it and it was brownish. I asked he, "this isn't tinted r something is it? It goes on clear right?" she told me it was clear so I rubbed it on my lips liberally like you do with Chapstick. I looked in the mirror and I looked like John Candy in Armed and Dangerous. Looks like someone got his Christmas Goose early! Her and Fabio are still laughing about it six days later. Besides that I looked FABULOUS and the speed bumps on my lips were smooth.

Geez, the time goes fast when you're blogging. Luckily, I showered and got dressed before I started because this blog is winding down. The Farm Show waits for no MATT! I am going to have to wrap up. Tomorrow's blog will be more thought-out and blog-worthy I think. Gotta go and make the bacon (I don't eat bacon but that sounded farmerish to me). I will blog you again tomorrow from my "adventure." The next blog should be Indiana Jones Temple of Doom blog worthy (yeah, right). TTTT...MITM (off like my wifi was - before it finally got fixed)