Matt in the Middle: It's the New Bloggeroo Comin' Right at You!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

It's the New Bloggeroo Comin' Right at You!

Hi there. I hope you had a nice weekend. Sugar Momma and I didn't get a chance to see a movie yesterday so I don't have a New Zoo (movie) Review comin' right at you. I may or may not get over to see Dinner With Schmuck's today but if I do I will review it over there ----->, of course.

At 11:45 yesterday morning Sugar Momma said she was tired of looking at all of the weeds at out subdivision's entrance so she was going to go over and weed the three parkway islands and the two sides of the subdivision entrance.

Of course me, never being able to pass up a good time said, "I'll go with you." Wow, there were a lot of weeds there. We worked for two hours pulling weeds. I really understand what they mean when they say something "grows like a weed." We have a home owners' association but the subdivision was sold not long ago and ever since the new company purchased the subdivision the landscaping (mowing, weeding, mulching...) has been very sub-par. So, we took it upon ourselves to work on it. Vigilante weeding! I guess I won't be paying my association fee since we worked off our share. I have before and after photos for when they try to collect; maybe I will write a letter to the editor? Maybe we should get a free day at Disney for our day of service. I would think the people who are trying to sell their homes here, and there are a lot of them, would have been making a stink.

Today I hope to do absolutely nothing and I know it will be everything I imagine it to be. It's impossible to do absolutely nothing. When you think about it if you have to consciously work at doing nothing you are doing something - trying to do nothing. I am not going to do nothing (I really am but I'm not going to try - our secret). I'm already writing this blog so I guess I have failed.

Matt In The Middle "Middlers" (followers) increased by about 12% over the weekend. Membership has its advantages! Maybe I should have a Middlers membership drive.

One thing I will have to do is change the intertube (or is it innertube?) on my bike.

I have Stretch Armstong'd my rear tire into oblivion. Maybe Lance is the bike rider, now that I think of it, and his brother Stretch was the body builder from the 1970's.
While we were weeding I thought WWXD. No, it's not a radio station. I thought "What Would Xerxes Do?" Why am I thinking about Xerxes? Exactly who is Xerxes? Doesn't everybody think about Persian kings from before Jesus while getting weed-induced hand cramps? I think stretch Armstong may have played him in a made-for-tv movie back in the day.

I know somebody has because I hear it is so great but, who has been to Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago? I have lived in this part of the MIDDLEwest all of my life except for that brief stint where I lived in the MIDDLE of Europe and I have never been to the Lincoln Park Zoo. I have been to Brookfield Zoo 946 times but never the free zoo that is supposed to be amazing too. When I,

and most of you Middlers were kids, Doctor Lester Fisher from Lincoln Park Zoo was a regular on Bozo's Circus and we all sang "you got your green alligators and long neck geese, some humpty-back camels and some chimpanzees..." and we always still went to Brookfield Zoo. It must have been because it was closer to we Suburbanites. But, Sugar Momma and I have spoken to quite a few life-long MIDDLE-westerners and we haven't found too many people who have been to LPZ. If you have been there let me know. I am just curious, firstly, how it is compared to Brookfield if it DOES exist and, secondly, if anyone has really been there.

Alright that's enough from me for today. My fingers are still all weeded out from yesterday's drive-by weeding. Have a great day and I will try to think of something really exciting for tomorrow's blog but if I don't I will blog it anyway. Is thinking of something to blog about doing something because if it is I can't do that because I'm trying not to do anything. Have a happy Shomer Shabbos (that was for you Brian).

** weeds graphic plucked from fanpop.com, stretch armstrong pulled from bigredtoybox.com and dr. fisher graphic unicorned from chicagonow.com **

2 comments:

BubAugust 2, 2010 at 7:22 AM
Can't say I've ever thought of Xerxes while weeding. My thoughts when weeding are generally along the lines of "#@*$ing weeds. Why do they grow seem to grow faster than anything else?". Maybe I should start thinking of Xerxes instead.
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Matt HelserAugust 2, 2010 at 11:13 AM
I guess I kept thinking that if I were Xerces I would have an army of people out here doing this for me while I watched (because I needed entertainment and television was a few years away still).
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!