Monday, August 30, 2010

Hey Hey Hey It's Phat Plasmert!

Monday was plasma day. It was my first time giving plasma so the appointment took about two hours because it included a physical and medical review. If you have given blood it is pretty similar but the needle is bigger. The needle is probably about the size of the inside of a ballpoint pen (the part that contains the ink). I have always been told that I have veins like ropes and it was confirmed again today so maybe it's easier for me because I have big veins. I guess you have to have large veins when you're all heart AND a heartthrob. Anyway, after the physical stuff (blood pressure, weight, testing your blood via the finger pricking and asking you dozens of questions) they take you over and poke you and hook you up to the machine. You constantly make and release fists to pump the blood. When the cuff around your bicep releases you stop making fists as the blood is pumped back in to your veins. It feels kind of weird to have the blood go back in but not bad. Then the cuff pumps back up and the blood starts pumping again and you make fists again. Once you have the plasma bag full they come get the bag and pump saline through the hoses and into your veins. That was a little uncomfortable and it makes you really cold. She warned me it would be cold. They pump 70-something degree saline into your 98.6 veins and it cools you right off. And that's it. I go again on Wednesday and it should only take 45 minutes to an hour because I'm in the system and you only have to do one physical a year. All that and you get $20 every time you do it on a debit card they give you; $160+ tax-free a month for listening to your i-Pod or reading. You can do it up to twice within a seven-day period. No, money isn't that bad in the Helser household...I am just one of those bleeding hearts that likes to help...or bleeding veins I guess is more accurate. Is this what they men by blood money? I suppose this is just another step in my transformation to total hippitude or beatnikdom.

I posted some photos of me when I was Fat Mattbert on my Facebook page. I added a "Fat Matt" Photo album. It's kind of embarrassing that I was that huge but maybe it will show people that you really can lose a lot of weight simply with diet and excercise. I shouldn't say "simply" because it was hard at times but it's worth it every day. I feel better physically and mentally. I honestly think you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. You really have to commit though - I was on diet after diet after diet until I found the right combination of excercise and diet (Weight-Watchers on-line) that worked for me.

I have to write that check for the second half of the property taxes this week. I actually like writing the $3,400 check because it means that: we have a nice house to live in and we have money to pay our taxes. Next year we are going to petition to have our taxes lowered with all of the property values going down due to the failing economy and all the people losing their homes. $6,800 seems like a lot of money for taxes when you live in the MIDDLE of nowhere. Quite a few people have already had their property taxes lowered in our subdivision which will make it easier for us. So this year we will have ours lowered and help the next family get theirs lowered.

Have you seen the ads for the new movie coming out, Machete? The ads say "rated R for bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity." Now, if they added "by Jessica Alba" after "nudity" I would go see it but they don't say that even though she's in the film. Is this a new requirement that they say why it's rated as it is or is this a marketing tool to get people who like bloody violent throughout... to go see the movie? I couldn't help but laugh when I cut and pasted the Machete photo here.

Somebody won the big Illinois Mega Millions jackpot Friday and it wasn't me but I will continue to play the same numbers still until I win. So, if I win Tuesday I will only win $12,000,000. I guess that would have to do. Are you kidding? I get excited if I win a stupid radio call-in contest for a $5 restaurant gift certificate. I could but 2,400,000 $5 gift certificates...that's more!

Spend Tuesday thinking about how you want to make your life better and start working toward that goal. Call in and set up an appointment for Wednesday morning at 8:00 to donate plasma and we can lie next to each other and pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pump our blood. I have to work another volleyball game Tuesday night but I promise I will still be there Wednesday morning for our date! Blog to ya again tomorrow. TTFN...MITM.

** plasma graphic ventricled from pennmedicine.org and machete photo cut from moviecarpet.com **

No comments:

Post a Comment