The Ghost of Brett Favre Wears Jimmy Choo's.

I just got back from a MIDDLE of the cornfield school board meeting. The word had rustled though the soy bean fields ("was on the streets" for you non-MIDDLERS) that the school board was voting on eliminating junior high school sports programs. I walked in and started talking to a couple of the school board members and they told me that there was nothing on the agenda to vote on school athletics tonight though they were talking about the school budget but there was definitely no vote tonight. They had heard the rumor also and tried to get the word out that it was erroneous but it didn't reach the 40+ of us that were already there before the scheduled meeting time. I believe that school sports programs are hugely important to keep children "off the streets" and to keep children active so they develop good physical habits and head-off potential obesity. It's bad enough that we have all of the fast food options but now no activities too? Being a person who has battled obesity and coached park district sports for the past 13 years I am very passionate about this but my passion was put on hold for now. I will keep an eye on the school board website for news.

I have discovered body language for the visually impaired (blind). I have so many bug bites on my body from this weekend's weeding that my new body language is Braille.

I saw a report today that there are women so in love with their designer shoes that they are getting elective disfiguring surgeries. The report I saw showed a woman having her toes shortened so she could fit into her Jimmy Choo shoes; it's called a toe tuck. I don't know much about high-heeled pump designer shoes but I do know about having part of a toe chopped off and there's no pair of shoes worth doing it for electively. I would give my right arm to have my big toe back. I know fashion has its price but mutilation is a pretty copper-looking thing with Abe Lincoln's face on it (you remember those things don't you?).

I wish I were made of money because then when somebody asked me "do you know where that's been?" I could say "yes." But even now if you have a one dollar bill and ask me "do you know where that money's been?" I can have a pretty good guess where it's been. And if I'm right I really wish I were made of money because I've seen where money gets to go sometimes. Talk about an all-access pass!

My fantasy football league is getting ready to conduct our yearly draft (we are a dynasty league now so the draft will go fairly quickly). One of the most famous MIDDLEwest (Minnesota & Green Bay) football players of all-time, Brett Favre, may be calling it quits again. I have always admired Favre and now that he's MIDDLE-aged and still performing with grit and determination I hope he stays one more year. I predict the Vikings will talk to him and he will be back for one more season and Minnesota will win this season's Super Bowl. I could care less because my QB's are Aaron "bucks" Rodgers (MIDDLE - Green Bay) and Tony Romo (MIDDLE - went to Eastern Illinois University)...I am pretty stacked at the quarterback position. I am pretty pleased with my draft from last year. Everything looks great until the season starts and everybody gets hurt; that's why it's nice to have Romo coming off of the bench. -that "bucks" thing is mine (patent/trademark/copyright) because to me "he's money" (black gold / Texas tea) and I should know since I'm made of it-

Nathan Lane is going to guest-star on Modern Family this coming season. I love Nathan Lane (TWHS). He is going to play Pepper, a "flamboyant friend" of Cameron and Mitchell. I sure hope he can be believable and pull that role off.

Last night I dreamt again. I found that there is a direct correlation between sleep and dreaming. This may be some kind of nocturnal theoretic breakthrough. And, the two times I slept I had taken allergy medicine. Benadyl cures my allergy of insomnia...it really works. If I remember I will tell you about my dreams tomorrow (I will try to dream gain tonight so I have more to tell you about - I will take the dream serum right now).

Remember I told you that I joined the Paranormal Research Community so I can find a psychic/medium for the October seance? Well, now that I am a member I received a message that they have an opening for a paranormal investigator (a ghost hunter). I don't think it's a paid position (not sure) but I am thinking about applying. It would be blogging gold. And when we find some evidence and become more famous than Ghost Hunters I would be able to blog my own ticket. I don't know what my paranormal qualifications are though. Should I apply? Believe it or not there are still a few spots available for the October 30th seance...let me know if you are dying to join us.

I went to the grocery store and I was thrilled to see all of the people who are using their own bags. I am sure it started out as a racket for the stores to save money on bags (paper or plastic) and the chance to sell us the fancy reusable bags but who cares why they did it? I m happy that they did and I am happy that we fell for it.

Have a nice Humpdadeedoodah Day with plenty of sunshine (maybe in liquid form) heading your way! I'll blog you again tomorrow. Now go out there and make it a great day!

** youth sports graphic eliminated from dailyherald.com, foot surgery amputated from shuzsociety.com, favre photo retired from clan10.com & ghost hunters photo exorcised from freethunk.net **