Matt in the Middle: Billionaire's Club...Apply Within!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Billionaire's Club...Apply Within!

I am in a horse poop mood so this blog may be worth horse poop but a blog is a blog of course of course and this one is typed 'til my fingers are coarse. That is unless that blog, of course, is the infamous MattInTheMiddle blog. (See what I mean?)

I did quite a bit today. I got my son going for school, I went grocery shopping, I did six loads of laundry, I cleaned up the yard, tore out a dead bush (TWSS), I mowed, I watered the lawn and flowers (creating more work for myself), I made dinner, I cleaned the kitchen twice, I worked out (adding 12 more miles to the excercise bike in addition to the weights and such), I did some electrical work which caused sparks and breakers to pop (I could have used you Judii),

and now I'm typing a blog. My theory of doing other things to make-up for not working-out was once again proven wrong. If you miss work-outs you will have to go back three spaces. I still managed to do the entire work-out but it was tough. I didn't listen to music this time I went to my DVD library and watched Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. I love this movie; probably because I'm a beatnik. Sugar Momma and I saw it at the theater when it first came out. We went to the Warrenville (Illinois) Ten-Thousand-O-Plex and played what I like to call Show-Time Lottery; we walked up and went to the movie that had the next show-time. I had forgotten how many people who are stars now were in that film. I love Kevin Smith and think he must have been the guy who gave Adam Sandler the idea to keep using all of the same actors from film to film though I suppose Hollywood used to all be that way when actors were under contract at one studio. If you haven't seen it and want to borrow the DVD let me know - I don't deliver or pick-up though.

One of my favorite websites since I have known about the internet has been and is www.imdb.com (internet movie data base). Other than Matt In The Middle this is the best thing on the Wicked Witch of the West (WWW).

Next Monday I give plasma. Coincidentally, Heartland Blood Centers called today and told me that I am able to give blood again. Thanks Twilight Countess Dracula but I have sold my soul to the plasma werewolf now. I feel like I'm cheating on Heartland but if Bill Clinton taught us nothing he taught us that giving or getting plasma isn't cheating. "I did not have plasma relations with that clinic!"

Have you heard about this Billionaire's Boy's Club (they're not all men and I am anything but a sexist but this just flows better phonetically) that is pledging to donate half of their nets-worth to charity

when they die? Warren Buffett and Bill Gates got this idea together and have about 40 billionaires on-board. Most of the people who have made this promise are from California, go figure. There are a few from the MIDDLEwest though: Warren Buffett, who pledged to give 99% of his wealth to charity (Nebraska), Walter Scott Jr. (Nebraska), Thomas S. Monaghan (Michigan) and Jim & Virginia Stowers (Missouri). The biggest names we recognize are: Gates, Buffett, Hilton, Rockefeller, Bloomberg, Ted Turner and George Lucas. Where are all of the entertainers and recording artists? Tiger Woods, you are excused because you probably don't have a billion anymore. Pony-up Oprah! This is one club I would be happy to join but I am afraid that I don't meet the minimum requirement of HAVING AT LEAST ONE BILLION

DOLLARS! I think it's a magnanimous gesture, since I am not one of their heirs, but I wonder why can't they donate some if it now and help take care of some of our nation's problems? I imagine they want to make a difference the way they want to make it while they are here. Incidentally, the United States has about 400 billionaires. For the record...if I were a billionaire I would make this pledge and my heirs would have to manage to get by on a minimum of half-a-billion. If I had a billion dollars...I'd be rich!

Alright, Tuesday Bluesday. Try to have a nice one and remember Humpty Dance Day is only a day and a Hennessey away. Blog you later tire-rotater. TTFN.

** freddy and shaggy photo zoinked away from portaldenoticias.com, billion dollars photo counterfeited from scrapetv.com & doctor evil photo shagged from wingbets.com **

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Billionaire's Club...Apply Within!

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