Saturday, August 21, 2010

I Got Bombed at Corn Fest!

I went to Corn Fest in Dekalb Saturday morning. Nobody from the Helser household wanted to go so Beatnik Vagabond Hobo-Dude Matt went alone. I got there early enough so there was plenty of DelMonte corn fresh from the DeKalb fields. I ended up having four ears total; I had mine without butter, of course. When it's fresh you don't need butter as far as I'm concerned. While I was eating my corn I was walking around the B-17 Flying Fortress. Wow, that is an impressive plane. This particular plane was assembled in 1944 and served in the Pacific after WW II. It has appeared in several movies and television shows including 1941, All The Fine Young Men, Wings and various History Channel shows. This plane is called "Sentimental Journey" and has a painting of Betty Grable on the nose. The plane made me think of the film Memphis Belle. The gun turret on the bottom was very small and I realized that Sean Astin must have been a little dude in 1990 to fit down there before he hit the steroids (allegedly). Days like that make me think maybe I am 80% testosterone. I think I will sneak back over to DeKalb Municipal Airport Sunday and see it again before it flies out on Monday morning. There are free tours inside and out of the B-17 but it's $425 if you want to go for a flight...I will just be touching and feeling I think.

People-watching was fun, as always. There were several people taking ear after ear of corn and putting them into those large freezer Ziplock (ca-ching) bags. It was first come first serve while supplies lasted but I think they are talking about eating them there at Corn Fest. I guess I shouldn't talk; I had four ears though I ate them there. There was a booth right next to the free corn by Prairie View Dental. They were giving out lip balm and dental floss. Dental floss after corn - what a great idea for a free promotional give-away. I started thinking maybe you could just save the tassels from the corn and use them as floss to get the kernels out from between your teeth? I wonder if the floss would be good for the chocolate covered frozen bananas or strawberries or the chocolate covered cheesecake on sticks. And to think that I was making fun of the Wisconsin State Fair and their foods on sticks a while ago.

With the spending all this time alone and hanging around large aircraft I may be turning from beatnik into Howard Hughes sans the billions and billions of dollars. As soon as my lottery numbers hit I will be closer to buying a hotel room in Las Vegas and wearing Kleenex (ca-ching) boxes for shoes.

Have you seen that show RuPaul's Drag U on the LOGO network? When the male RuPaul portrays the female RuPaul all he does is shave his mustache and put on a wig and make-up. The way he talks is exactly the same. Every time he talks as a man I picture him as the female RuPaul. The assistants or make-up people he has on the show are all beautiful women until they talk and then they sound like dudes (because they are dudes). Why can't they put a little effort into sounding like hot chicks? Make us metrosexuals try to figure out if you're really a man or a woman; don't make it so obvious. This may be where I come back down to only 52% testosterone again.

With taking my daughter to school earlier this week and all I haven't hit the weights since Tuesday. Sunday morning I will have to hit them hard again. It's always a little tougher after you've missed a workout or two. That's why it's easier to just keep up with it. Our hotel down south didn't have weights (just treadmills and excercise bikes) but my son and I swam a lot and I carried a lot of stuff and walked for miles and miles so maybe it won't be so tough...we'll see. It doesn't matter either way - it has to be done. I always feel better after I work out. I don't know if it's the endorphins or just the sense of accomplishment but it is a natural (maybe unnatural) high.

Alright, I got long-winded or happy-fingered again (TWSS? - not sure). Enjoy your last day before the world is without children during the day again. If you're heading out to Corn Fest Sunday morning let me know and I'll meet you out there because I am definitely going at 10:00 when they open. I'll buy you a chocolate-covered frozen banana or something. I will check my Facebook and emails just before I go so we can hook-up. If I don't see you have a fantastic Sunday doing whatever you enjoy. Oh yeah...there is also a Farmer's Market with a salsa contest in Sycamore on Sunday so I may drag Sugar Momma over to that too - if it's not too hot outside (remember I am the hottest she can handle). Blog you later Corn Fest hater.

** rupaul photo dragged from bayflatslodge.com & chitty chitty bang bang photo tricked and stolen from hollywood.com **

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