Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'

My doctor's appointment yesterday was interesting. I don't know how much I am ready to discuss as I am still ingesting what I was told. Only one-and-a-half hands-full of people know the main details of what I was told by the Neurologist yesterday and I think I may take the advise from a couple of close friends (part of the MATTfia) and get a second opinion. I do not want to become Andy Kaufman though and waste all of my time looking for answers that I probably won't find. No MATTer what I hear I am going to take one of the pieces of advise of the doctor for certain and live life to the fullest for awhile. I am not trying to make people try to guess what is going on and I am not trying to worry people; I am just trying to wrap my head around everything before offering full disclosure. It is ALWAYS a good idea to live each day like it is our last because one day we are guaranteed to be correct.

I did something last night that I have not done for maybe four years - I had a beef cheeseburger. I have not eaten red meat in a very long time. I forgot what a MATTster griller I am. I had also forgotten how great cheeseburgers taste. So far my body is welcoming beef back with open arms and intestines. I do not think I am going to take drinking alcohol up again though. Not yet anyway. I won't say anything is 100% though on anything. That is not true - there are several things that are 100% in my mind (maybe 98% - there is always a little wiggle room).

It is remarkable that, no MATTer what  time I go to bed at night, I nearly always wake-up at 0300. I had always heard that 0300 was the witching hour. I guess that was because in the trade market, back in the day, that was the last hour of stock trading before the bond market closed at 0400. It is also, supposedly, exactly twelve hours after Jesus of Nazareth was executed. I guess "crucified" sounds more Biblical. Since Jesus was supposed to be the embodiment of goodness, and he was killed at 1500, shouldn't 3 PM be the witching hour since that is when he was killed? But, his death was supposed to have been for us to cleanse our souls so, the exact opposite of his death would make sense in a way too. All I know is that nearly everyday I, no MATTer what steps I take to fight it, am awake at 0300. Incidentally, I have quit taking the Ambien after some research and some advise from Dr. Shawn Fessenden and then speaking with my Neurologist. It seems like nasty stuff plus it wasn't working anyway. I can sleep without your help Ambien! I had only taken three (three nights).

I may start taking naps like an old Matt. It is just about hammock weather time in the MIDDLEwest. Thank goodness for ear buds and iPods. I wonder if anybody has ever died in a hammock? I think that would be really handy to dispose of a body. You could just cut the strings (pun slightly intended along with the literal meaning), let the body drop to the ground and roll it up like one of those fancy cigarettes all the cool kids are smoking these day. That makes me think of one of the regrets of my life. I really wish I had been a pothead Focker. I have never really even smoked pot. When I was in high school I pretended a few times with friends because of the whole adolescence and wanting to fit in deal but, just like Bill Clinton, I never inhaled. I always believed Bill Clinton when he said he had never inhaled because I could totally relate and understand why he would have said that. The Monica Lewinski thing was another story - I think he inhaled (or she did) on that deal. I am talking about cigars - get your mind out of the gutter. I have smelled marijuana many times and it is a very pleasant smell to me. On the flip-side I do not think I could ever smoke a tobacco cigarette. I certainly do not see the appeal there - the smell is hideous and the cancer deal is a big bummer too though I guess that is actually the carcinogens and nicotine they add to keep their victims customers coming back.

Maybe I need to make a bucket list. Smoking marijuana would be on there I think (probably using a pipe since I have a learning curve with the rolling a blunt deal). I have a problem with being a rule-follower most of the time though; what a conundrum. Do people really make bucket lists? It seemed good for that movie The Bucket List (especially with that being the name of the film) since Jack Nicholson had unlimited funds. I guess a list is just a list though. I make shopping lists all the time and then get home and realize I missed the Tabasco listed between the avocados and the bread. If there is a rich benefactor who is looking to fund a Bucket List Buddy I'm your Morgan Freeman.

Man, it is 0607 already. I appreciate our time together. It is funny how I picture you (everybody who has ever made a comment to me personally or in a text or on Facebook... about the blog or something I have written). Many of you I have not even met in person and many of you I know very intimately. I do not picture you specifically every time but there seems to be a rotation in my head and YOU are regularly in my MATTing order. Some of you have only commented on the blog one time or just hit the "like" button and you are in the rotation of my thoughts. I appreciate you so much  (ha, I am tearing-up just writing those last couple of sentences). That is one thing that really bothers me about me (and our society I think) that I cannot show my true feelings sometimes though often that is a very good thing. I am a very emotional and compassionate person (I know some of you may find that difficult to believe). I tear-up during movies or television shows and when I read or hear things sometimes but I always try to hide it. I have even hid it from Cha Cha most of the time except when she was in the hospital recently when I was unable to hide it. I would not say that I am a crier but I am a tearer-upper and I pretty much always have been. I guess that just makes me sensitive and compassionate or maybe I am just a sissy. I guess that is why I protect baby bunnies with patio chairs. I wouldn't change that about me and I will probably always continue to try to hide it out of habit other than I reveal it in my blog. I yam what I yam and that is probably one of my few good qualities. Weird I try to hide the good ones.

Okay, that's it for today. Thanks a lot for stopping by (I can always use a good tearing-up - it keeps those ducts clear). Have a great whatever day this is (Wednesday I think). I have to continue on cleaning the garage today. I made a lot of progress yesterday but I have a long way to go. We are getting the new door to the patio from the garage installed this morning and the French doors in the Tiki Room installed tomorrow morning. I will feel like I am in a different house for many reasons soon. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!