Don't Waste Your Time on a New Pair of Speakers

I have a lot on my feable mind this very early morning so I have decided to come out on our deck that sits at the foot of the Smoky Mountains and spend a few moments with you. I hear the water rushing over rocks creating white-caps in the river or stream way, way down there. I see three light on the top of Old Smoky (The Smoky Mountains). They are not covered in cheese but there is probably a lot of dew up there. I have things that I want to remember the most and I want to put them here. I can use the blog (like I have done many times) as my memory, I am getting chocked-up and teary-eyed just thinking of the main reason I wanted to write this. I want to remember, more that anything, my love for Jill and what she means to me. I am getting so emotional and tear-filled that I don't know if I can continue to write. I know it sounds cliche' but I have to go get a tissue. "Tito get me a tissue." I will be right back.

LOL, Billy Joel just sang "don't waste you time on a new set of speakers, you get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers..." on Pandora. I am glad my phone allows me to create a "mobile hotspot." Of course, Jill taught me that. Those Billy Joel words mean something different to me this morning. I like his music but I think he is probably an a-hole though a-holes are necessary sometimes and are very entertaining in small doses. I have been told that everything is about me before but I think that is the only way I can relate to thing - to make them about me. I think everything is about each of us in our ways and that is the way we relate to things - putting our personal spins and feeling on them..

Anyway, as usual, I digress. I just want to remember that this morning I woke-up and lied in bed and had a pretty good cry. Almost blubbering. As you know, I tear-up on a regular basis but, today, I had the stereo-type stuffed-up nose and the tears running down my cheeks (to the sides since I was still lying down in bed). I would wipe them away and they would just fill-up again; I was on the boundary of blubbering. I cannot think about anything but how I do not want to make Jill and my kids sad and that is pretty-much out of my hands. I also do not want to be a burden. Maybe that is why I put a razor blade to my neck last night but it had nothing to do with shaving. Don't worry, it was not to kill myself but that will be a great matt-hanger cliff-hanger for a later blog. I sliced my throat neck several times last night

We are gonna leave Tennessee in a bit and we are headed home a different way. We are going to go across Tennessee and go to the bottom of Illinois and up that way. Splenda asked if we were going to go back her way and stop and see her. So, of course, we are. We are going to meet in Marion, IL for... I guess it will be lunch by then, At least we will get some time back going that way.

Ha, now Paul Simon is thinking 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. "Just go Splat Matt" or "Jump in with a Polecat Matt"...

Okay, we are gonna get out of Dodge before the cirus in town wake-up. I will continue this later (maybe from a literal "mobile hotspot" travelling at 70+ miles per hour). At the bottom of cliffs leaving a cliff-hanger...