Anniversary of One of My Happiest Days Ever

Copymatts! (and Jills)

Today is Cha Cha and my wedding anniversary. I made reservations for tonight at The Baker Hotel for dinner. This is where we had our wedding reception 27 years ago tonight. Donnie Wahlburg and Jenny McCarthy got married there last year. I can understand that they would want to be like us. My guess is that they will divorced before us because we won't get divorced and Hollywood marriages don't seem to last. I had forgotten that Jenny had dated Jim Carrey. I also just learned that Melissa McCarthy is her cousin. Now I know wayyyyyy more than I want to know about Jenny McCarthy.

Yesterday I walked to the grocery store (maybe I shoudl sat "to the market" because that sounds classier) in 21 minutes and 11 seconds and, after filling my backpack with 19 pounds of items for dinner groceries, it took me 21:12 to get back home. It took a little longer because I wasn't in a Rush to get back to my Subdivisions. I walked home from the store a second time and it took 21:14. I will tell you how it is possible to walk home from the store twice while only having walked there once later in the blog.

When I got back from the store the second time I arrived to find the kitchen in total disarray. There were dishes on the floor, there was an empty plastic bag ripped apart on the floor, there was a loaf of bread on the floor with all but two slices left. I knew instantly what had happened. I had left the back door open so Jeff could come in and out. Jeff and his buddy Kona from next door ransacked the place. I had cooked three large chicken breasts that I was going to use for chicken burritos. Fortunately I had put the corn salsa I made in the refrigerator. I seeded and hollowed out tomatoes and used the tomatoes as bowl for the corn salsa - it was a big hit at dinner time. Anyway, Jeff went to lock-down for awhile and Kona was banished from the kingdom.

Not sure if that is a mommy or daddy with the baby

I love this time of year. I saw a mommy (or daddy) owl and a baby in a tree and, like every year, I saw two geese teaching their five goslings how to swim in a straight line in the lake at the entrance to our subdivision. I know geese are a-holes but they seem to be great parents. Sometimes parents have to be a-holes to protect and teach their children well. I should start carrying my camera around but my phone sufficed for the photos of the owls and the geese.Also, the camera fits right into my pocket. I may start carrying my little backpack around with me but I hate having to keep track of it. I really do appreciate you ladies and having to deal with a purse all the time. Too bad the fanny pack was so stupid-looking. With all of my time maybe I should invent a new kind of purse for my gal pals. Or maybe men and the kids should just start carrying their own crap.


While I was walking back on the bike path back home for the second time a guy was walking the other way, coming at me, with a cane like blind people use. As we got closer to one another I noticed that his fluorescent green vest thingy read "blind runner." I said "hello" as we passed and he said "hi." I didn't know if I should tell him either his vest was wrong because he was walking not running or maybe he is not sure what running is and he thinks he is running. I just left it at "hello." I cannot be in charge of everyone and solve all the world's problems.

Did they really think that learning square dancing in gym class would come in handy one day? I realize it was really about socialization but how about just have speed dating or something? Cha Cha tells me that Splenda had line dancing rather than square dancing in school. What is the deal with dancing in school having to do with shapes and geometry? Is there octagon dancing? I don't think there was any square dancing at all at our wedding and there seemed to be just about everything else. For some reason I do not think there was The Chicken Dance either thank goodness.

26 years before Wahlberg and McCarthy

I am thinking a lot about our wedding today. What a great time that was. A couple of years ago (maybe more that a couple now) Jill and I renewed our vows in Hawaii. It was a surprise to her. I didn't want to tell her ahead of time because she might not have gone on the trip. It was nice having our kids stand-up with us - they weren't there for the first one. My brother was my best man again but Mary, our maid of honor, didn't happen to be on the island that day. Maybe we can renew our vows again on our cruise; Heidelberg would be cool. Maybe Paris too. Maybe we could renew our vows in all four countries we will stop in. I just looked at our passports and I love that in the place where is says "place of birth" mine reads "Germany."

I have to get things done around the house. I have laundry going and I have already cleaned the kitchen but there is mucho more-o to get done-o. Good thing were not going to a Spanish-speaking country. Maybe I can learn Czech, French, Luxembourgish (yes, that is real though they also speak German and French). I took four years of German in high school and two years in college so I can ask where Monica is and if the post office is open. Cha Cha took French. Maybe we can brush-up on our foreign languages on the flight. Stupid Americans! I may try though my memory is failing they tell me. I am not sure if I am still a citizen of German but I have a birth certificate that says I might be and what if I completely lose my mind while there and don't know I am American? I like cheese and I hear they have good cheese there. Okay, enough of my mental wandering. Thank you for being here. I will probably blog tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

I Know I Can be an Old Poop

It's a sold-out crowd!

If you love baseball you need to see the Netflix original documentary about baseball called The Battered Bastards of Baseball. It is about The Portland Mavericks. They were an independent minor league baseball team owned and run by Bing Russell (Kurt Russell's dad). I watched it on a lark and I loved this film. This team was what baseball should be about. Bing Russell was not what the "good old boys network" liked. I turned the movie on and I could not stop watching. I will probably watch it again one of these days.I love the David and Goliath thing and this was a real-life David and Goliath! Plus, Kurt Russell is in it. I have always liked him.

Today Major League Baseball will make history. I bet that sentence has been used many, many times. The MLB is all about history and statistics but this is a stat, hopefully, that will never be repeated. The Chicago White Sox are playing the Baltimore Orioles today at 13:05. If the game is televised I will be sure to watch this one even though I do not have a horse in this race. I may even walk to a bar to watch it. I have seen baseball live in Camden Yards but I wish I was going to be in the stadium today. I would have the pick of my seat and I love to pick my seat. There will be zero fans in the ballpark today due to the civil unrest (some call them riots) in the city of Baltimore. I suppose the vendors will have the day off too. It would be cool to be the only fan there and just have the vendors there just for you. There are people saying that the game should be played in nearby Philadelphia or Washington (the other two ballparks that my buddy Randy and I visited on one of our baseball trips). Others are saying that they should play the game, with the fans, at Camden Yards so the city can prove that there are good people who live in Baltimore too. I agree that having fans at the game would probably be a mistake but I would not play the game in an empty stadium. It is going to be quieter than a spring training game. Cha Cha and I discussed it and we agreed that if we had a party planned at our home with people coming in from out of town and something crazy were happening near our home we would rent a hall or something and move it there. I bet there are people who have vacations planned that included an Orioles' game but, since most schools are still in session for a couple more weeks, that number is probably low. I really hope it is televised in the Chicagoland area.

I broke one of the big rules of my medical incarceration yesterday. I am not going to say what the rule that I broke was because it was very, very naughty. It was not immoral so my soul or my heart or whatever did not die a little when I lied or cheated. I did not gain another black spot on my heart either. However, it was very naughty and irresponsible. I had what I decided was a very good reason to break this rule and it worked-out fine but it could have been disastrous. We all have good reasons for breaking the rules but I bet all of the rioters and looters in Baltimore convince themselves that what they are doing are for good reasons too. I bet the guy who was stealing from the tornado victims out near me convinced himself that he was doing that for a good reason. The thing I did was not anywhere near those two but, had things gone south, it may have been perceived that way. I consider myself atoned now.

I am forgetting more and more every day I think.Maybe that is my atonement. I have always had a really exceptional memory so it might just be coming down to regular human standards and that is acceptable. Jill and I ate at a restaurant that we had (allegedly) eaten at about a year ago and I did not remember it at all. She mentioned an incident from when we were there that I faintly remembered but I did not remember where it occurred. When you see a lady talking to her baby all though lunch only to learn later that the baby is a dog in a stroller it is difficult to forget. But, even that, I only remember only faintly. Incidentally, we were eating outside on the patio portion of the restaurant.

I seriously can be an old poop sometimes

Tomorrow is Cha Cha and my 27th wedding anniversary. See, I remember the important things. We were together for five or six years before that. I must have been on my best behavior for that first five or six years. I bet she didn't think she would have a doddering old poop on her hands in just 27 years; I am her Norman Thayer Jr.. Thank goodness we sold our boat a few years back. People often tell me that I am always happy and I seem like things don't bother me. If you read the blog (which you obviously do) you know that is far from the truth but, being with and learning by Cha Cha's examples, I have become a much better person. Goodness knows where I would have been if I hadn't hitched my cart to her horse. I wasn't sure whether to call her the horse or the cart but the horse is better so I decided to make her the horse. Who doesn't love a horse? You always put the horse before the cart.

I find myself proof reading the blog a lot more before I post it these days. Even then, if I read it again later, I often find typos. It is probably because I have more time on my hands to proof it these days.

Tonight I am going to make the meal I didn't make last night. I grilled burgers and red potatoes on the grill last night instead. I got to the store and didn't have have my list of ingredients with me. It was not a forgetting thing it was a circumstances thing. I happened to be near the store and it seemed to be silly not to stop while I was there. I am thinking of getting a segway (some spell it segue). I would love to be the Paul Blart of my town. I think I would wear a white shot and a black tie when I rode it. Maybe I will go to Chicago and take one of those segway torus to see how I like it first. I have seen old people on them so I am confident that I could learn.

I forgot to tell you that we finalized the booking for our cruise yesterday. From what I hear we will be the youngest people on the barge. We saved a lot on the trip insurance because of our "young" ages. I think I may have written about that before but, just in case, I wrote it again. I bet all of the ladies will want to dance with a guy who has two good hips. I bet there will be bingo on the boat. With my luck I will have to be the caller - not to worry, I have lots of bingo calling experience. I can open jars for people. On the trip will go to: the Prague, several stops in Germany (including my birthplace - Heidelberg), Paris and Luxembourg (like New York, New York - a place so good they named it twice). It is just going to be Cha Cha and I but the kids both had great trips that we funded without us in the past. Splenda had gone to Coast Rica and Fabio went on a Bahamian cruise with one of his friends' family stopping at a lot of great ports of call. I feel guilty that we cannot take the four of us but they have long lives to go with their spouses one day. They can use my life insurance for that when I'm gone. Maybe I should win the lottery between now and then so we can all go? I'll have to add that to my shopping list. I will buy a couple of tickets when I walk to the store later.

Alright, I have to get some stuff done around the house. I hope you have a great day and that your weather is as nice as it is in my little portion of the MIDDLEwest right now. Thank you, as always, for taking a few minutes to read what I can remember so far. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

I Learned a New Phrase Today (never stop learning)

I finally have time to blog. I have been very busy today. I went grocery shopping, I got the oil changed in one of the vehicles. I let Fabio take me to lunch - I bought but he drove so I think that means he took me AND I took him, I tried to reschedule my second opinion on my neurology stuff today but that was unsuccessful so far though I had to cancel the one I had scheduled without agreeing on a new appointment yet. I did five loads of laundry (I typically try to do all of the wash on one day per week)... I did more but you get the idea.

On Saturday Cha Cha and I met my first college roommate Spiro for lunch in Elgin at The Walnut Speakeasy. The last time we saw him was at his wedding. We ended up staying at the bar for several hours. It was great talking about old times. I had forgotten (as I do these day) how great those days were. I imagine in twenty years or so I will remember today as one of those great days too. It is funny how time always makes things that seemed like no big deal at the time fantastic. I have to say though that when I was in college I knew that I would look back and be amazed at those days. I had forgotten a lot of the things we talked about like the journalism convention that we attended and we spent the time we should have been going to seminars and workshops and we went to The Checkerdome to watch The St. Louis Blues play hockey. Not Cha Cha - she did not go to the convention and, had she gone, she would have gone to the seminars like she should have. I guess The Checkerdome was actually called St. Louis Arena but everybody called it The Checkerdome. For some reason I think it specifically was known as The Ralston Purina Checkerdome.

While we were at the bar Saturday we watched the Bulls and Blackhawks play-off games. Spiro and I went to a lot of Blackhawks games back in those days too so this seemed very fitting.

I am so excited! Just not EXACTLY what for yet

Jill and I are still working on our cruise itinerary. The one we were sent today included Amsterdam. We are kind of interested in Amsterdam. It is weird that this came back with that location included because Amsterdam was featured on The Amazing Race this past Friday. If we decide on this cruise it will include five countries: Holland, Germany, Hungary, Slovakia and The Netherlands. It is a little more money than we had initially planned but it includes the airfare (business class) and we would have a veranda suite on the barge (I prefer the word ship). All meals and beverages are included. It is with Viking Cruises. I think our travel agent probably gets good kick-back from Viking because he sure does show us a lot of their cruises. I am excited no MATTer where we go.

I am watching Cat Stevens' speech for his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I love him and his heart and his talent and his soul. What a special man.

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird when people "like" their own photos and statuses on Facebook? Does anybody else think that there should be a different plural form of "status" than "statuses?" Shouldn't that be like "stati" or something? If I add a status or a photo it is probably assumed that I "like" it isn't it?

How is Comedy Bang! Bang! still on the air? And, why is it on IFC? The F in IFC stands for Film and this show is not a film. The Spoils of War and now The Spoils Before Dying are films but the first one sucked and the other one, which has not been aired yet, will suck too. Guaranteed! Maybe IFC is the problem! Just their original programming though. Sorry, I had that bee in my bonnet.

What's his name again?

I am still getting up at 0300ish every day. Now I wake-up at 0100ish for awhile and then go back  to sleep until about 0200 and sleep until 0300. I sure hope my insurance approves the second half of my sleep study soon. If not I hope I get worse so Cha Cha can sue and be set for life. I hope, if that happens, it happens after the cruise though. Given the two choices I would prefer both halves of the study get approved.

I could not remember Oliver Platt's name for the life of me a couple of days ago. So, I think my Google Effect is acting up again. I have been having a few health issues like before but nothing quite like before yet. I am watching it very closely, however, because it started small and got bigger last time too.

It is funny that all one would need to screw with our medical appointments and get our medicine and things is to check our birth date on Facebook. That is the one thing that all of the places that I deal with medically ever ask me. How about using my Social Security number since that is a bit harder to find?

While I was waiting for the oil to be changed on the JEEP I listened to a lady talking to the owner of the car dealership cough and cough. She was in the dealership looking to get a car. It turned-out that she lost everything in the recent tornado that ripped through a few towns just west and north of my MIDDLEwestern town. I  guess that everybody from her town is sick. She said it is called "tornado cough." It comes from all of the dust and debris flying around getting inhaled. I surmise that it is similar to black lung that coal miners get from inhaling coal dust for many years. I had never heard of tornado cough before. Fortunately, I assume, tornado cough will pass a lot quicker than black lung. I learn so much by not being shy. Without my lack of shyness we probably would not have the back door of the garage right now. I remember the day I went across and talked to the guy installing the door over there. Cha Cha said, "I am so glad I married a guy who is not shy." I bet there are many times she has thought, "I wish I had married a guy who was shy."

Sorry this is so late. I think it will be earlier tomorrow. Thank you for putting the brakes on for a bit. You can now resume your unregularly scheduled day. Have a great night. I am going to go fold towels and make a tomato/shallot/spinach/quinoa/dry white wine dish for dinner. My guess is that Cha Cha will love it and Fabio will not even try it. TTTT (probably earlier than today)...MITM (out) TA!

A Warm Blog to Keep You Toasty on this Chilly Spring Day

The bills for a lot of my recent medical procedures are starting to come through and I get emails telling me that "a new explanation of benefits (EOB) is waiting for you." The one I received this morning is for my magnetic imaging (MRI). The bill is for $3,152 and then Cigna "negotiated a discount of $1030.70" and my plan paid $1803.00" now I "owe" $318.19. "You saved" 89%." It is funny how they make you believe that they did you this great service and that $318.19 is a good deal. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't but how in the hell would I know? I will pay it and be happy that I saved 89% thanks to their billing voodoo. While I am in the medical portion (most of my life these days) of the blog I spent 76% of yesterday dealing with trying to get done what I thought my doctors had already done mainly because they said they were going to do it. Sorry for the run-on sentence. I know they are busy (at least they create the illusion that they are if they are not) but do what you say you are going to do! They have staffs of what seem like dozens and dozens of people yet they cannot have someone do the simple thing they promised would be done?! So concludes the medical portion of our blog. Most likely.

This is the best hand possible in Euchre regardless of the suit. A "loner"

Last night Cha Cha and I went over to her brother (my brother-in-law for you scoring at home) Tom and both of our sister-in-laws (how does that work?) Kara's house for pizza and Euchre. I hadn't played Euchre in a long time. We used to play in high school all the time because we were nerds maybe? I never really thought of myself as a nerd but the Euchre should have been a clue maybe. I think I lettered in Euchre, in fact fiction and got a Euchre scholarship in college. We had a good time last night and each team won one game and we didn't have a tie-breaker game to decide the ultimate champion or anything so that made it all the better. I am not going to say that I threw the second game. Mainly because I didn't.

Happily, I do not have much to say today. Usually I am blogging about what drives me crazy (pun kinda intended) and maybe I am in a good place mentally this morning. I am sure I have mentioned here many times that I love the rain and the calming effect it has on me. It is raining this morning and Cha Cha and I are each doing our own electronic things and listening to classical music in the Tiki Room. Occasionally, one of us will think of something we wish to discuss and we will both break from our regularly scheduled activity (she reading and me writing and nobody doing 'rithmetic). We'll talk and then we will resume our chosen morning fun. It is still kind of early (just before 0700) while most people are probably still in bed on a rainy Saturday morning.

A couple of days ago I was getting dressed and I had the television on. There was an Andy Hardy movie on (starring young Mickey Rooney as Andy Hardy). For you MIDDLE-aged or beyond people you will remember these movies. They are from longer ago than most of we MIDDLErs were born but they used to play them on weekends before we had cable television and before WGN was a super station. Anyway, I looked at the schedule on the television and saw that there were five Andy Hardy movies in a row so I set and recorded all five. The one that was on had a very young Tony Baretta (Robert Blake) in it. When I watch them I may even do it with a grilled cheese sandwich, Frito's and some tomato soup. Today being a cold damp day may be the one. I hope one of the ones recorded has Judy Garland in it - how can you not love Dorothy Gale? I think my chauffeur Chachki and I may be going shopping first. That is good because I am not sure we have enough tomato soup to get me through all of the Andy Hardy movies. I am just an old soul today.

Scarlett O'Hara's sister and Dorothy from Kansas - what a cast!

I mentioned yesterday that I was probably going to meet-up with my old college roommate Spiro today. I doubt that will happen now because his son's baseball game will probably be canceled due to the rainy weather; our reunion not happen today. I have not heard back from him yet so I am uncertain. They live quite a bit north but one day this will work. I cannot believe how cold and wet it is today. Nice thing is I get to wear my heavier St. Louis Cardinal's jacket. I rarely get o wear that one during baseball season. Don't be alarmed I have plenty of St. Louis Cardinals' garb to get me through any type of weather.

Okay, I have to start getting ready for our shopping extravaganza. I am still tired but that may just be the relaxing rain and the chilly temperature outside. I am warmed by you stopping by whenever you can.Yes, I know that was a bit cheesy but it was sincere. I am not afraid to admit my cheesiness. Most people love cheese - I'm sorry if you have dairy allergies. Have a great rest of your weekend even if it is just watching Andy Hardy movies and having a blanket around your shoulders to keep warm while it rains (or maybe eventually snows) outside. TTTMonday...MITM (out) TA!

My Forensic Investigation & My Call to Barack

German doors are pretty fancy aren't they?

I am starting to believe that my health insurance company is trying to kill me. I am sure there is more advantage to them for me to be dead than there is for me to keep racking up bills.
No, probably not. I got a call yesterday from the sleep study facility at my local hospital where my study is scheduled for tonight. They had already confirmed the appointment as they do so my curiosity got me and I answered the phone even though I was in the MIDDLE of dealing with the french door installer. That is not as easy as you might think when you do not speak French. I really wish I had taken French in school or maybe we should have gotten german doors or Mademoiselle Cha Cha should have stayed home to deal with them. I was told by the very nice lady on the phone that my insurance had not yet approved the second half of the sleep study so they are going to have to cancel my appointment and they will call me to reschedule it when they get the insurance approval. I have never been one to want to "kill the messenger" and she probably gets yelled at all the time delivering this kind of news. I wonder if the Affordable Care Act insurance (Obama Care) would be better or worse or more of the same? It could not be any worse than the experiences I have had with my Cigna insurance this past few months. I think they are creating their own business by not letting me get well.

Tomorrow Cha Cha and I are going to see our college buddy and my first college roommate Spiro. His son is playing a baseball game nearby and he sent me an email about getting together. Maybe he is now a Cigna hitman and I am a liability for "the company." I think he and I have history longer than Cha Cha and I do (it is pretty close since I met them both at close to the same time). We did everything together for quite awhile. I think of him often so I am pretty excited unless he is a Cigna hit man but maybe, because of our history, he will make it quick and painless.

This may sound silly or simply like I am trying to make people feel better about "my condition" but I am really happy that this whole deal is going on. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore and I am not wasting my time with the stupid stuff or negativity. Cha Cha and I talk a lot about family and friends (including the Facebook variety) just about everyday and we watch far less television. I am constantly busy on projects when she is working and those will probably never all be completed. I don't care as much if our dog barks his head off. It doesn't bother me if there is a little paint on the ceiling when I am done painting a room. I do not know why I ever let that kind of stuff bother me in retrospect. Maybe this is why, when people are dying after being jerks for their entire lives, they get nicer. Some say that maybe it is because they fear meeting Jesus soon but, I assure you, this is not my concern. I have not killed, I have not committed adultery... I did steal as a young kid but I have done plenty to make up for that with interest. There are other reasons why I am not concerned too.

Forensic investigation  in progress (I look good in white and it is before Labor Day)

Yesterday I went to inspect the bunny nest I protected with patio chairs in back yard. The bunnies were gone and, doing my forensic investigation of the scene, my findings lead me to believe that they left on their own recognizance. That word doesn't really fit there but how often do you get to use "recognizance?" But they did seem to leave of their own accord. That word may not be great either but you get the point. The hole was vacant and the nesting material (leaves, grass, string, hair/fur...) was all neatly together away from the hole like a door had been opened and there was no evidence of a scuffle. Cha Cha suggested that I should put the dryer lint out in the yard for them to use as well. What a brilliant idea. We will have the best smelling birds and rabbits in the area. It is like tagging them without all the hassle. I had always just thrown the lint out. Recycling and saving the critter babies is a much better use. I bet Snow White shared lint with the critters. Now I wish I had a deeper belly button. Anyway, I was happy to see that the Patio Chair Protection Program (PCPP) worked.

Cha Cha had a bowl of Cheerio's this morning and I think she thinks I am doing the same but I am not. Last night I made turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and rolls for dinner. So now, for breakfast I am having stuffing from a bowl and that is sort of like toast for breakfast, right? What find of moron eats toast from a bowl? The kind that eats stuffing for breakfast and calls it toast. I have never been much of a traditional breakfast-type of person. I was always the really happy that White Castle was open 24-hours kind of guy. But, in this case, stuffing is kind of like toast right? And White Castles are kind of like toast and sausage for breakfast. I have seen a lot of odd things put into an omelet that I sure would be suspect as a typical breakfast.

I had more to say about that last paragraph but I had to deal with doctor stuff since they called and trying to get them back on the phone is tougher than getting President Obama to call me back. So, now I forgot what else was on my mind about breakfast but that is an okay place to stop that thought anyway. The HR department from my work called and I have to deal with stuff with them and my primary physician and the second-opinion neurologist. Maybe all of this stuff is just designed this way to make me use my brain and work things out. I have a difficult time believing these things are always handled this haphazardly. What if I had to do all of this stuff while I was working? Maybe this is the true reason they tell you to stay home - so you can make sure to keep their staffs busy and work on them getting paid the higher bills they are building while bothering us. Why is their time worth so much more than mine? I have blogs to write and things to paint and organize.

"Find out who gave this boob my number and send them to Guantanamo"

I guess that is a good place to stop. I have to call my #2 neurologist and reschedule my May 8th appointment because Cha Cha has a meeting she cannot get out of that day. I have to say that her work has been great about her having to deal with me. She is a really good employee and she works about every weekend on projects for work at home and she works more than twelve hours a day during the week and probably another ten hours a day most weekend days. I am at a quandary about the second opinion. If this next doctor gives me a different opinion do I have to get a third opinion to break the tie? If not, which one do I believe? The one that serves my purposes the best? And, what are my purposes? I want to get well and, if one says I am well. do I believe him and find out he was wrong? Again, is this part of the Mattser plan? To make me reason everything out? Maybe they are just creating their own business.

It is so peaceful and nice in the Tiki Room now. I know that was random but I am a random kind of guy. Thank you for letting me rant today - you are great for me and I hope I offer you something too. Have a great Friday and Frinight. I will blog again tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

McDonald's and Boils, yum. Supersize me!

It is 0410 and I have been awake for about 90 minutes so I thought I may as well blog. I am really hoping that they find something in the sleep study tomorrow night. I also hope they have their equipment calibrated right from the start of the study because that is the only time that I will be asleep and, after 0232-0300 (when I usually wake-up) it will be an awake study of me lying there not sleeping. No MATTer what occurs with the results there are going to be some big changes coming in my life. I am so excited about the future no MATTer whether I am off-my-rocker or not.

Ronald has run his course

I heard that hundreds of McDonald's restaurants have closed over the past year in Japan, China and the United States due to lowered profits. I cannot remember the last time I ate at a McDonald's even with all of my travelling and hospital visits with Cha Cha and I. I also see, through news and commercials, that McDonald's has: many more different chicken sandwiches, lots of sandwich wraps, about ten different salads, cuties (the oranges, not me), Go-Gurt, fruits, yogurt, oatmeal... They are trying to change with the times but I think it may be too late. I think that they have run their course and we will continue to see them dwindle. There may a lot of choice real estate either sitting empty or having new tenants. Maybe McDonald's will just become a bigger world-wide landlord than Donald Trump?

Today the Tiki Room will be nearly completed - hopefully. The french doors should be installed by noon. I take that back; we still need one more shelf to buy and for me to assemble. I cannot believe all of the projects that I have done over the past month or so. It has kept me busy and my mind occupied and challenged which is important. I think that is part of Cha Cha's plan. She is really my brain coach I would say.

My appointment for my second opinion is scheduled for May 8th. I made the appointment without checking with Cha Cha and her schedule and she has a work meeting scheduled that day. I feel bad that I think I may be taking advantage of her or maybe just taking her for granted as my personal chauffeur and assistant. That is one of the last things I want to do. My dad said I could use his taxiing services if needed but I know Cha Cha wants to be there and I depend on her ears, knowledge of health issues and memory to assist me and she really wants to be there for the same reasons. I am happy to reschedule if she is unable to be my Polly Thompson or Anne Sullivan (Helen Keller's assistant and teacher/best friend) on that day. I love how our partnership is truly a partnership in just about every way and we still have our own interests and hobbies. I seriously think we have the perfect union. We have: established justice, insured domestic tranquility, provided for a common defense, promoted general welfare, and secured the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.

This is the only known photograph ever taken of my boil, RIP

I think I forgot to tell you about my bloody adventures in Tennessee (if I told you already please blame it on my shrinking brain and seizures and not on my advancing age). I had developed a growth on my neck and it had eventually become very itchy and red. It was growing and I just figured since my old head was malfunctioning my advanced alien mind was trying to grow a new replacement head and then it would discard the old head. The new head started to become itchy and slightly painful. I thought very little of that figuring that there had to be growing pains in manufacturing a whole new head. This was uncharted territory on this planet as far as I knew. Eventually the tip of my new tiny head started to get a white head on it and I knew it was too big to be a zit. Come to find out I had been growing my very first boil. Learning this, and having just about enough of it, I stopped by Walgreen's in downtown Gatlinburg and picked-up some razor blades, Neosporin and Band-Aids. That night, back in the hotel bathroom, I preformed a boil exorcism. I put some ice on the little medium-sized bugger for a bit to numb the area and then I made criss-cross razor blade slices on the top of my new friend and squeezed. At first it was painful and I got nothing from this uncooperative bad boy but he did not know he was dealing with tenacious me. Of course, with the slices and the water from the ice, there was quite a bit of red liquid running down my naked shoulder, back and chest. I would wipe the strawberry sno-cone blood/water combo with the tissues from the box there in the cabin bathroom and put the bloody tissues in the plastic Walgreen's bag. Eventually, I got some stuff to squeeze out of the boil and now I feel so much better. I think I ended up making about 20 slices in my neck before I was done. I had the doctor look at it yesterday and he seemed to think I did good job work and said he thinks I got all of it. Everybody says it should have smelled bad but I didn't smell anything. Maybe the discomfort from all of the neck slices made my sense of smell take a backseat? I took the Walgreen's bag FILLED entirely with a whole Kleenex box worth of bloody tissues to a trash can out in the parking lot so they didn't think I killed someone in our cabin. I bet a lot of questions were raised when they emptied that parking lot trash can.

Wow. it is 0532 now. It takes me a long time to write these blogs but: driving to a therapist, sitting in the waiting room, having the waste of time appointment to fill his/her bank account and dwindle mine and then driving back home would take much more time and money. I love writing the blog and I love that you like reading it. I may even go back to sleep (slim chance) for a bit. Why are chances measured by size? Fat chance? Slim chance? Obese Chance?  Okay, I can tell I have written enough for today. I hope you have a great Thursday and an even better Thursnight! Thank you for continuing to give me a reason to write and think. I know, by all of my typos and non-fluencies sometimes, you probably wonder if I DO think but I assure you that my spelling and brain do work better than my typing skills. Isn't that scary? TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

There is Scientific Proof of My One-Track Mind

I find it amusing, for some reason, that they call their boats barges

I have been very busy the last few days and I love it. I am trying to pack a lot into whatever time I have from here-on-out. I cannot believe the things I am enjoying now. I have never minded doing laundry so that is still good. I hung the curtain rods above the windows and put together two shelving units in/for the Tiki Room. I ironed the new floor-to-ceiling curtains and I cannot believe how much I liked doing that. I am thinking about opening my own laundromat. I already have the name -  Laundry Matt. I will think about that because I bet after awhile I would get sick of ironing and folding. But, I think the places like that have presses rather than the hand-held irons that we regular Joes use. I also hung the curtains, of course. Cha Cha and I went and met with a travel agent yesterday and it looks like we may be headed to Prague, Paris and Heidelberg. We are trying to work Amsterdam in too but that may take some finagling and more money, of course. Amsterdam is not a deal-breaker but it would be nice. It turns out that since we are so young (compared to all of the other people who will be on our Viking cruise) we will save quite a bit of money by getting a different insurance policy than the other old codgers. Do you suppose I will be asked to open jars and lift heavy things for our co-passengers? I am okay with that. I bet my dance card will be full.

While I was ironing and, again, was listening to Pandora. I was listening to the Barenaked Ladies (BNL) station and most of the songs made me think about everything going on again. Give a Little Bit (The Goo Goo Dolls), Save Tonight (Eagle Eye Cherry), It's All Been Done (BNL), How's it Gonna Be (Third Eye Blind), Good Riddance (Green Day)... Yesterday I was listening to the Disney station and I knew almost all the words to every song. We played Disney all the time when the kids were young. Plus I worked in a toy store for awhile and we played those cassettes (yes, cassettes) when I was there. It's funny that I skipped the songs from Frozen and Tangled because these movies were after my kids were older so they didn't give me the warm-and-fuzzies.

I have always been told that I have a one-track mind

Talking about thinking  - I learned why maybe I can remember what I do and forget what I do. It may come from a "condition" that is pretty common these days called The Google Effect. The Google Effect is a "condition" where we forget things that we can Google and remember the things that we cannot.  That would explain why I can remember all the people that I know and forget other things. It may also, as I have said here, that people are more important to me that just about anything else. I am proud of my mind if it has taken this initiative on its own. I wonder if I will start forgetting famous people because I can Google them? I am not sure if this is 100% true or if it related to what I have going on but I like the idea.

I want to say that I appreciate all of the warm sentiments and kind words about my "condition" but please do not feel sorry for me. This has been one of the best times of my life in a long time. I get to spend a lot more time with my best friend and everybody is so nice to me. Also, I appreciate so many more things these days. I don't take hardly anything for granted as we do in our day-to-day rat-race lives. I don't really worry about much of anything when just a month or so ago I was worried and stressed about everything. Today I even went down the stairs on my butt like we used to do when we were kids - just for the hell of it. In case you are thinking of trying it I will tell you this... it is still kind of fun but it hurts your butt more than it did back in the day.

I heard on the radio that there was a guy arrested out near me for what was classified as looting which is a felony. He was supposedly assisting with all of the tornado clean-up just a bit west of my part of The Middle but he was actually stealing many items that people and companies had donated for these people who had lost so much (homes, belongings. loved-ones...). I can think of a lot of reprehensible things and this is among the worst. To me this is worse than stealing from the dead. I hope he smokes a turd in Hell. I guess I do not know his story but in my mind he was just stealing stuff to sell on Ebay or something. I bet we will hear a lot more about this story.

I got wood! There was also plastic and metal and such in there too

I wrote those last paragraphs before I went and visited one the doctors from my team of physicians. This was my primary-care doctor and he knew nothing about my condition. What in the hell goes on with these doctors? I was told by my neurologist that he was sending all of his findings to my GP (general practitioner) but my GP said, "maybe he sent it to our Galena (Blvd.) office." If he did then why in the Helser didn't they send it over to you? This country is in a medical mess.

Today was a good day other than that. Waste Management came out and picked up our Bagster today. In case you are unfamiliar, it is like a collapsible dumpster that you unfold fill it with refuse up to 3300 ponds and they send a truck with a telescoping boom to pick it up. I sat in the front window of the house just watching the dude masterfully park in the cul-de-sac and work the boom and turn the Bagster in the air and put it in the back of his truck. I am such a ten-year-old by in so many ways. I also got the Tiki Room completely done except for the french doors that were supposed to have been installed last Thursday. They are coming back tomorrow morning with the correct supplies. If they do not get it done I will contact Lowe's and make other arrangements.

Sorry this was posted so late today. Maybe I will post a photo of the Tiki Room in tomorrow's blog though most of you didn't see it before we started the transformation. Thank you for stopping-in and for waiting for the blog. After I go to the bank and get the scratch for the cruise I will be here for quite awhile while the french doors are installed. Have a great rest of your night. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

The Curious Case of Mattjamin Blogger

I am sitting in the new Tiki Room (Tiki Room Y2K15). The other night Cha Cha and I went out and got the new blinds for the windows. The walls in this room used to be a french mustardy Dijon yellow color. It was called butter cream or something. It was kind of this color. The blinds we had on the windows and the curtain for the sliding door were this color. I painted the room last week a very light yellow and the shades I installed yesterday are white. They are really cool blinds that do not have strings. They are the Pinocchio of blinds. You pull them down and they just stay where you want them to stay simply by letting-go of them. When you want them to go up you just push them up from the bottom and they stay wherever you let them go. The guy is coming back Thursday to install the french doors. They are white and have blinds built right into the window between the panes of glass. He was here last Thursday but did not have the correct materials because the window and the frame were not the correct whatever even though he came out ahead of time and measured and we bought the door based on his initial measurements that he gave to Lowe's who he is a subcontractor for. It is good that I am off all day every day to accommodate his schedule. As long as it looks as good as I anticipate and Cha Cha gets what she has envisioned I will be happy.

I was thinking about Benjamin Button this morning. No, I do not know why. I am pretty sure he and I went to college together as our ages crossed. I liked that film (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button). It is really about life in general and it made me listen to The Circle of Life this morning from Disney's The Lion King. If you think about it, if we live long enough, being a baby and being very old are very much alike. You cannot dress yourself and you cannot feed yourself and you cannot control your bowels (or you just don't want to), you wear diapers, you don't have any teeth. I still dress myself and I have most of my teeth, I have peed myself but that was at SIU from drinking too much. Right now I am a little past the MIDDLE part of my Benjamin Button Phase but I am afraid that the second half is going to go faster than the first.

I so want to use this mind-loss for my own amusement but I can see that the jokes are wearing thin on some and I think it kind of upsets Cha Cha. My jokes also, often, help me relieve my own stress. On the way back from Tennessee we stopped-off in Marion, IL (no I was not being committed or examined at United States Prison - Marion). Splenda drove over from Carbondale and we had lunch with her. I made a few cracks of this nature and I could tell that it bothered her so I stopped right away. Maybe it is tough seeing your dad go off his coconut though there is so much less stress in it. I have always dealt with things with humor. I also have a pretty good gauge of when that is not working and I know when to stop. A good stress comic has to know his audience. You don't know that managing a comedy club (Zanies) for a couple of years in your Benjamin Button journey is preparing you for later life but all of our travels in life, if we pay attention, are just spring training for something else that is yet to come. I am nervous of what my current training is preparing me (or my loved ones maybe) for. 

I am listening to The Eagles station on Pandora and Ben E. King is singing Stand By Me right now. I have always loved this song but, like any song does from time-to-time for all of us, it has different meaning this time. Ha, now The Beatles are singing Nowhere Man telling me about making all of my nowhere plans for nobody.

Pretty sound advise 

Jill and I are going to see a travel agent later today. We ARE going to go to Europe soon and we want to make the best of it so we will pay somebody who knows what they are doing in this arena to help us. I am about 98.6% sure that we are taking a Rhine River cruise but we want to make the most of it and see as many things that I will be able to forget as we can. Ha, Take It To The Limit is playing now. I guess after we talk to this dude we are going to dinner at one of our favorite places - Bien Trucha. We have been there many, many times and I remember that I love this place but, for the life of me, I cannot picture it in my mind or where it is. Not a joke. It is odd the things that I can remember and the things that I cannot. Maybe my mind is purging the things that it deems unimportant first. People have always been the most important to me so I am confident that you will be there until the end. I cannot promise that so please do not be offended that I forget you but it will be great to meet you again one day. And, if you are offended, don't worry - I will forget all about it.

I still want to do a blog like a tribute to Cha Cha. Uh oh, I feel the tears starting to well-up. It doesn't help that Eric Clapton just started to sing Wonderful Tonight - damn you karma and your evil ways! I cannot believe how fortunate and unworthy I have been to have her with me for the past  32+ years (that includes dating...). Not to mention that, without her, I wouldn't have met some of the best people that I have ever known (her dad Jerry, her brother Tom and our maid-of-honor Mary as examples). I have to stop writing this because I am chocking-up and I need to get some stuff done today. Maybe later?

I do remember these now that I Googled a photo!

Now Keep on Loving You (REO Speedwagon) is ending and Everything I Do, I Do it For You (Brian Adams) is playing. They should call this the Matt In The Middle Station. I want this Pandora station played at my funeral.

Thank you for encouraging me to continue to write. I don't know if I was ever taking quitting the blog seriously or I was just feeling sorry for myself but I need this therapy and short distraction every day. Funny how a distraction is discussing the problems and issues huh? I guess that is what therapists and psychologists do - let us talk about our problems. I have never seen either of the two but who knows if my path will lead that way later? But, I sincerely do thank you and appreciate you every day whether you comment or not. Have a great day as I will. I cannot wait to try this Bien Trucha again for the first time today. I should probably see if I did a Yelp! review of that place - I sort of think that I did. TTTT...MITM (out) TA! Now Let It Be (The Beatles) is ending and Stairway To Heaven (Led Zeppelin) is starting - UH OH! Double TA!

Physical Memory Dump...Contact Your System Admin....

I am now considering several tattoos

I am having mixed feeling on whether to keep the blog going. On one hand I love writing and it helps me in so many ways. It also helps me get things off my mind but, this is not one of my usual attempts at humor, I really don't require that getting stuff off my mind assistance anymore. As I laid (or lied) in bed this morning I became aware that there are many things that I should remember that I cannot remember. Maybe I was still groggy from sleep because I slept pretty well last night for a change and perhaps my body and mind do not know how to handle that because I VERY RARELY sleep well. I would not say that I am frustrated or worried but I would say that I am aware and hypothesizing. I am concerned.

Yesterday I spent a great deal of the day exercising my brain with A LOT of stimuli and it performed very well I believe. I know you have to work-out your brain like every other muscle in your body and that is my main work-out focus right now. You can probably tell that it has probably always been the one I worked-out the most.

You probably know that I love irony. When I went to use my computer this morning the screen was blue with a bunch of white letters trying to scare me. I think my computer and my mind must be either melding or conspiring together against me because it read:
Collecting data from crash dump
Initializing disk for crash dump
Physical memory dump failed status OXCOOOOO10
Contact your system admin or technical support group for further assistance

I wonder which of my doctors is the system admin and which is the technical support? My life is kinda like if you took the film Memento and the movie (there is a difference between a film and a movie to me) 50 First Dates and combined them. Luckily I am fat so there is a lot more room for all of the tattoos of things and people I want to remember.

Okay, I just wanted to quickly get that in writing for future reference. I have to work on my todo list for today. I won't bore you with the list today - maybe tomorrow? Thank you for letting me get this down here. I am sorry if I have become a one-trick-pony with the blog lately but it has always been whatever comes into my mind, ironically, and this is on my mind almost every waking hour right now. I'll get past that and I appreciate your help and understanding. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

Don't Waste Your Time on a New Pair of Speakers

I have a lot on my feable mind this very early morning so I have decided to come out on our deck that sits at the foot of the Smoky Mountains and spend a few moments with you. I hear the water rushing over rocks creating white-caps in the river or stream way, way down there. I see three light on the top of Old Smoky (The Smoky Mountains). They are not covered in cheese but there is probably a lot of dew up there. I have things that I want to remember the most and I want to put them here. I can use the blog (like I have done many times) as my memory, I am getting chocked-up and teary-eyed just thinking of the main reason I wanted to write this. I want to remember, more that anything, my love for Jill and what she means to me. I am getting so emotional and tear-filled that I don't know if I can continue to write. I know it sounds cliche' but I have to go get a tissue. "Tito get me a tissue." I will be right back.

LOL, Billy Joel just sang "don't waste you time on a new set of speakers, you get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers..." on Pandora. I am glad my phone allows me to create a "mobile hotspot." Of course, Jill taught me that. Those Billy Joel words mean something different to me this morning. I like his music but I think he is probably an a-hole though a-holes are necessary sometimes and are very entertaining in small doses. I have been told that everything is about me before but I think that is the only way I can relate to thing - to make them about me. I think everything is about each of us in our ways and that is the way we relate to things - putting our personal spins and feeling on them..

Anyway, as usual, I digress. I just want to remember that this morning I woke-up and lied in bed and had a pretty good cry. Almost blubbering. As you know, I tear-up on a regular basis but, today, I had the stereo-type stuffed-up nose and the tears running down my cheeks (to the sides since I was still lying down in bed). I would wipe them away and they would just fill-up again; I was on the boundary of blubbering. I cannot think about anything but how I do not want to make Jill and my kids sad and that is pretty-much out of my hands. I also do not want to be a burden. Maybe that is why I put a razor blade to my neck last night but it had nothing to do with shaving. Don't worry, it was not to kill myself but that will be a great matt-hanger cliff-hanger for a later blog. I sliced my throat neck several times last night

We are gonna leave Tennessee in a bit and we are headed home a different way. We are going to go across Tennessee and go to the bottom of Illinois and up that way. Splenda asked if we were going to go back her way and stop and see her. So, of course, we are. We are going to meet in Marion, IL for... I guess it will be lunch by then, At least we will get some time back going that way.

Ha, now Paul Simon is thinking 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. "Just go Splat Matt" or "Jump in with a Polecat Matt"...

Okay, we are gonna get out of Dodge before the cirus in town wake-up. I will continue this later (maybe from a literal "mobile hotspot" travelling at 70+ miles per hour). At the bottom of cliffs leaving a cliff-hanger...

Evryday I'm Buggtusslin' Tusslin'

Wow, yesreday was a long day. I have no idea why it took us 14 hours to get from DeKalb, IL to Bugtussle, Tennesee. Some people call it Gatlinburg I call it Bugtussle. I think that I could have been anywhere in the world in 14 hours by plane. Chicago to Hong Kong is only 15 1/2 hours and that includes much more comfort. I remember (sort of) driving from home to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina in only nine hours. We stopped to eat a couple of times (sit-down food) so that sucked some time. We have a beautiful, huge deck (don't get deck envy now) off of our bedroom and I can see why they call these the Smoky Mountains. The fog (they call it Ocean Layer if you are in a coastal town) looks like smoke rising above the trees. Who knows, maybe there is a forest fire and I am just a moron. I know half of that statement is true.

I am still sad that I am going to potentially lose, at least a portion of, my mind; that is the only good part about me and many people would debate whether my mind is even worth a hoot. I can tell that Cha Cha is really sad and that is probably the worst part of this for me. She deserves better. I have told her several times that if I get bad that I want her to just put me in the booby hatch. I have always been a booby man anyway so it seems fitting. I won't know the difference anyway. I do not want to make the blog about this every day so I will just say a few things each blog maybe. Probably a little every day.

When we arrived here Cha Cha  and her sister went in while I waited in the car. They were taking a really long time and I kept moving the car so people could get through the turn-about. The ladies were just standing at the check-in desk talking to this same lady and then a guy would come over and join in. I figured something was awry with our reservation so, after 20 minutes or so, I decided to go in and be The Enforcer. I am told that I am better under pressure and that I have a tenasious way about me. Jill has even told me that when I get angry my eyes become competely black (not the whites though). I just comes down to "nobody puts Cha Cha in a corner." It makes sense that I am that way since dogs, who I seem to have many traits with, are the same way. They are loveable and playful but mess with their pups or take their bone and see what happens. Anyway, I marched in and just stood back and listened while planning my attack and it turned-out that these people (at least these two) were just blabber-mouths. Maybe that is the southern hospitality. I am glad that I observe, assess andplan before I attack.

I saw the trailer for the new Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens, coming out near Christmas. It looks really good, of course. I may have to watch all the other movies again (I am pretty sure we have them all in one form or another) just so I can remember what is going on. There is so much time between films and A LOT has happened in that time in the current real world (not a long time ago in a galaxy far far away). And, of course, the long awaited sequel to Joe Dirt, appropriately entitled Joe Dirt 2, will be streaming on Crackle this summer. I may have to miss that one.

I guess we are going to spend most of the day today in Knoxville. Jill's sister is a big University of Tennessee fan. Working at a university I am not overly excited but, as I have said, I am just along for the ride. I am like the toilet dispenser of the trip. I am not necessary but I am handy to have once in awhile. I am the eye-candy. I hope you like sour balls.

I have to end so I can take a shower and get dressed. I may blog again tonight and post tomorrow before we head-out and post it early (though it is Sunday and I may not blog at all). I think we may go home a different route tomorrow so we can stop and see Splenda on the way north. Of course, she is worried about me too. Thanks for being here; I appreciate you so much. TTTT (or Monday) ...MITM (out of...) TA!

Rapiunt Amens (Seize the Crazy)

Jeff still has his friends over to watch the Lassie box-set

FORWARD - I wrote this two days ago and was going to post it twice and have not but, obviously, now I have! (I did add and update a few things)

I am changing my entire way of life. I have done that many times and with some success. I lost 84 pounds about six years ago or so but, unfortunately, I have gained some of that back so I know I am capable of change when I put my thinky-thing to it. I am watching far less television than I did just one week ago. I think Newton Minow may have been correct in calling television a vast wasteland. And, to think he said that 50 years ago when he was the Federal Communications Commission Chairman. Nobody really discusses his entire statement. He said, "when television is good - nothing, not the theater, not magazines or newspapers - nothing is better. But, when television is bad nothing is worse. I can assure you that you will observe a vast wasteland." The speech went on but you can look it up if you want more information. I remember in college (majoring in Radio-Television) how I kind of resented that statement until I read it in its context. He could not have been more right. Television has changed a great deal in 50 years and there are good television choices but there are A LOT of bad ones too. Anyway, being off of work with my ailment, I had been watching way too much television (some great, some bad, some good, some very bad). So, now I watch no television during the day and watch it very sparingly at night. There are shows like: Mad Men, Silicon Valley, Better Call Saul... that I will watch the recordings of. I am now a television snob (but it s my field of expertise so that is acceptable). I think maybe Minow was referring to the vast loss of time and not as much the programming though the speech was aimed at the programming itself.

I am listening to much more music (mostly on Pandora) too. That is one of the best subscriptions we have ever gotten (you can get it free with commercial breaks but I do not want the commercials - "ain't nobody got time for that"). I am listening to the Miles Davis station while I write this. It is only instrumentals. Right now I am listening to "In a Mellow Mood" by Andrea Pozza. It is only a drum kit and a piano. I am reading much more now too and the instrumental music helps drown out a lot of the background noise. Though I have brain issues my senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch) are too acute. I have had The Autobiography of Mark Twain Volume I sitting on the shelf for about two years and I have started to read that now. He is one of my favorite authors. I love visiting Hannibal, Missouri (his boyhood home and the inspiration for many of his writings) whenever I can. I may have to make my way down there one weekend (or any day for that MATTer) this summer as I am not working. Anyway, I am trying to do more things that cause me to think and not veg-out. Cha Cha has even gotten me to start using/playing  Lumosity. I use the phone ap. It is a "brain games and brain training" program. They should call it Loonosity.

I guess I will stop beating around the bush and fill you in on my condition according to the one medical/neurological opinion I have received so far. The MRI showed that my brain has shrunk and is shrinking (cerebral atrophy). This is common in many diseases that affect the brain (yes, I finally have documented evidence that I do have a brain though it is literally making its way to becoming a pea-brain or trying to completely evacuating the premises). Some brain shrinkage is normal in aging but I am too young to have this much shrinkage (not a Seinfeld shrinkage joke even though, obviously, I thought of it). There was also evidence/proof that I have had/am having seizures. He also said that there are chances of dementia in my future. So, I've got that to look forward to, which is nice. The most common form of dementia, of course, is Alzheimer's Disease. The signs of Alzheimer's are: memory loss, mood swings, poor judgement.... My memory used to be amazing but, over the past few years, I have had a feeling that my mind was full and there wasn't room for the new stuff. I have always been a moody cuss and, if anything, I have found that I am more pleasant over the last couple of months but that could just be not working nights for awhile. I think my judgement has improved too in many ways. I guess you don't necessarily have to have all of the signs.

The thing that concerned me (and Cha Cha) the most about the meeting was when the doctor said something like, "get done the things you want to get done."  That seems like something from a movie. You have heard the line - "you may want to get your affairs in order..." I don't even have any affairs. If I am going to go off my rocker or go crackers or lose my marbles or go loony or kooky or bonkers or daffy or haywire or cuckoo or wig-out or go off the deep end or wacko or flip my lid or go bananas or berserk I want to at least have some fun on the way out. I would have liked it so much more to have it been a surprise - damn seizures wrecking all my fun with their foreshadowing. I picture me in a group session in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. That does not seem to appeal to me much. What is it with me and Jack Nicholson? Yesterday Bucket List and today Cuckoo's Nest.

This is Heidelberg. Where my "crazy" voyage all began

One of the things that I have wanted to get done for a long time is go back to my country of origin (West Germany - now just Germany). I have not been back since 1964 and I am sure the people of Dossenheim have been asking themselves many times, "Warum er nicht schreiben?" I was actually born in Heidelberg and we lived in the burbs. No kidding, this may actually occur. I am fairly positive I will be close to the old hood. I will be able to see how six years of German in high school and college was useless. It is like the Make-A-Wish program. How come I can't have a telethon to fund my travels? 

If I totally lose my mind and cannot remember anything I don't care if you mess with me. I just ask that, no MATTer what, please do not try to convince me I am a Cubs' fan or tell me that I used to be a Cubs' fan. I will find out and I will make you pay and I will easily get off on an insanity plea. I am not big on tattoos but I may have to get a St. Louis Cardinals' tattoo to try to thwart any of this kind of activity

I guess I have to watch some kind of training film called The Notebook.

I hope I have not bummed you out. I was slightly shocked and bummed when I first received this news but I got over it. I will see what the second opinion bares (maybe the 22nd) but I am fairly certain it is easy to see if a brain has shrunk and if there is damage. See, I should have smoked pot! Maybe I can get a prescription now? Seizures is a key word there I think. I saw the images from the MRI and, though I know very little about this since I am just recently CERTIFIABLY mentally challenged, it seems like the report I received is correct. Something this big is worth a second opinion though. I vow not to apply for handicapped plates unless I can get personalized handicapped plates. I think I would lean toward CRACKRS or LOONIE or CUCKOO.

I think I am going to try to take a nap WITH EAR BUDS. If you read the first blog from today you know, as usual, I have been awake for awhile. Thank you for being here and for all of the nice messages and thoughts even without knowing what my deal was/is; that makes it even nicer. I think I will blog tomorrow but I am going to Tennessee (last minute). I am not sure what time my driver will be ready for me. Cha Cha and her sister were already going and, now that my dance card is wide open and I need to see the world and stimulate my brain, I got a ticket to ride. "My baby don't care." I hope to visit every state and remember none of them; I have already been to Tennessee many times though. It will be odd not doing the driving. I am gonna sit in the back of the Jeep and be chillin' like a villain. Maybe The Joker? Thanks for taking the news so well and don't worry about me. I know some who read this will even be delighted to read the news. I appreciate you for continuing to stop by. Just hold on from here on out because it may become a bumpy ride. TTTT (sometime)...MITM (out...of his right mind). TA!

I am a Blog-Brain

It is 0416 and I have been up for just over an hour now (since 0254ish). I turned-on the CalmMeditation Radio on Pandora and that does not even make me fall back to sleep. That is the station that really helped Cha Cha when she was in the hospitals a few months back. The bedroom is completely dark and I even put my face mask on to block any little pin-hole of light but, no sleep. I worked cleaning the garage yesterday nearly the entire day and I thought I was exhausted. The level of tiredness does not have anything to do with my not sleeping it appears. Oh well, there's no crying in insomnia. There's a lot of complaining, it seems, though. 

I have written a rather lengthy blog about what I have been led to believe are my medical issues. I am not sure if I want to post it before I get a second opinion (on the results - not on whether or not to post all of that boredom). I am not trying to P.T. Barnum this whole thing up I am just trying to be a responsible journalist. I guess it would not be irresponsible to post what the doctor told me as everything I would write is fact as I know it.  However, a good journalist, as I see it, always tries to get a corroborating source on controversial topics. If you don't it could just be hearsay or someone trying to promote their own agenda. Sometimes I feel that, with the 24-hour news cycle, the news agencies just have to fill their time which is why there is so much fighting and fright in our world (I cannot speak about other countries' or planets' worlds). I am certain that I will post the other information; it may even be later today. I assure you this is not a ploy to try to build excitement for my season finale. I don't have season finales. well, not yet anyway.

Jill goes out of town with her sister soon. I will miss her. I don't see her much anyway because I know I can be a pest and I am only good in small-doses so I try to limit her exposure to the virus of me. I think there have been A LOT of people who have O.D.'d on me. I am trying to figure out why sometimes I call Jill by her real name here and sometimes I call her Cha Cha. There is no correlation that I can think of. I believe it may just because she doesn't care for the great responsibility that comes with being an international celebrity so I am trying to split it into, what seems like, two people. It makes me think -I have had many people call me "Matt In The Middle" when speaking to me. I think I have laughed every time someone has done that. 

That may explain why I am a St. Louis Cardinals' fan?

I cannot tell if the bird chirping sounds I am hearing are included in the calm music I am listening to or they are actual birds outside my window. I have not considered that they could just be in my head. My window is right next to the tree where the birds hang-out. We have a feeder just below and I also sprinkle seeds on the ground so we can service all of our customers efficiently. I guess the tree is like the line to the drive-up window. Maybe the sounds are in my head? I always wondered where the term "bird-brained" came from. Okay, the song just changed and the birds are still blabbing - mystery solved. 

That having good hearing thing is really a nuisance sometimes. That is part of the reason (maybe) that I could not go back to sleep this morning when I woke up a bit before 3AM. I heard the television on downstairs so I went down and there was nobody down there. Maybe it was a Poltergeist thing? I bet Helen Keller slept like a rock. 

I am going to end now because, if I post the other blog that I may post later today, you will overload on me and I need you. Thank you for coming-by again. I hope you're excited for the MITM season finale (which will be followed the next day by the new season premiere). I am actually tired and I am going to try to see if anything can come of that. TTTT (or maybe today after review and consultation)...MITM (out) TA!