Mr. Blogs' Wild Ride!

Too Soon?

Last night while I was in the shower I thought of a great Halloween costume; an NFL replacement referee. I am still working on the particulars but the idea is there. I don't dress for Halloween unless I go to a party so I just am throwing it out there for you. Now this morning the the labor dispute is over and my million dollar idea is gone. All it takes for a labor dispute to end is for a terrible call and then someone will cave. I checked out the calendar and being off Tuesdays and Wednesdays is going to pay off this year (literally). Halloween is on a Wednesday (I am off but don't get paid because it is not a holiday though I feel it should be). Christmas Day and New Year's Day are on Tuesdays and I will get paid while being off...woohoo!!!!

I heard that driver-less cars are actually on the roads in California. These cars are gonna hurt the airlines and the trains. I can sleep in my car all the way from California to Maine? Does it pump its own gas or do I have to do that? Does it know it is getting low on fuel and pulls into a station and wakes me up? Maybe if you are a gas station owner you should get on this one. Bring back a full-service station that will pump the fuel and charge the gas to a credit card that you keep on file in case your car decides it's thirsty. I sense a whole new bunch of jobs coming because of this new way to travel. Will a self-driving car be able to do restaurant drive-up windows? I have a whole bunch of questions.

Dog The Bounty Hunter's show got cancelled from A&E and now CMT is picking him up for a new show of his. It makes more sense that, with that mullet, he'd be on Country Music Television. The new show is more of a "how-to" show. Dog and Beth will travel around the country (maybe the world?) and help bounty hunters fine-tune their businesses.

Speaking of wing-nuts did you hear that former Chicago Bears' quarterback Jim McMahon is showing signs of early dementia? I hate to sound mean but, in his case, how would he know? From the sounds of how he describes it I think I must be showing the signs or early dementia too. He says he gets text messages, reads them, erases them without responding and then he forgets who the messages were from (done that). He meets people and right after they leave he wonders who they were (guilty). When he's home alone he's usually sitting in a dark room watching television unless he comes out to get something to eat (often). But he's also busy all the time making appearances... It sounds more like he's getting old (he's 53 and I am only 49). I don't even have 70% of the memory I used to have and I was not an NFL quarterback getting hit in the head all of the time. You're getting older dud and you faculties are failing you; it's part of the Mr. Toad's Wild Ride! Just hold on tight and use it to you advantage.

Speaking of Mr. Agitator's Wild Ride the new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up and you can find out how old you will be based on listening to this week's show. I need you to do that so I know which friends of mine will be around when I outlive most everyone I know. I was very surprised how long I am supposed to live; I had always had a feeling that I was going to die younger than that. It doesn't say that I'll have all of my faculties just that I will still be breathing.

Some parts I still really like!

I am still verging on being sick I think and I don't think that Hepatitis B shot helped. I have always heard that a flu shot is a little bit of the flu so your body builds up an immunity to it so it makes sense that a Hepatitis B shot is a little bit of the Hepatitis B virus I suppose and if I was already teetering on being sick maybe that just added to it. I am getting a side-order of scratchy throat.

I am going to quit now but one parting thought. I am watching Modern Family right now. I used to really like this show but now most of the characters are getting on my nerves. Most of the actors that were cute when they we little kids are now extremely annoying; you can tell in real life they get their butts kissed. They are really terrible actors though when they were younger I could overlook it. I predict this show will be gone withing two seasons (I am usually wrong but I keep putting myself out there). Not to mention that they will all start wanting too much money and it won't be worth it anymore to do the show. That's all I've got to say about that. TTTT...MITM (out to take a nap like a 80-year-old). TA!

I May be Moving to Australia!

I wish I had known I was only going to sleep for an hour because I could have gotten a lot of things done during the night besides lying in bed thinking that I may get to sleep. I usually take Benadryl before I go to sleep because I get stuffed-up at night but last night I didn't and I paid the price. Well, I will pay the price today but thankfully I don't work tonight. I am planning on taking the Fiat to Schaumburg today to get it serviced and Cha Cha and I are figuring on going to Morton's and Hollywood Palms tonight but my sleep habits may change that...we shall see. We recorded Dirty Laundry Podcast last night and I had thought off-and-on during the night that I should go down to the studio and edit the show but I knew that I would be able to get to sleep...shows what I know! I may be able to get a nap in today sometime. I think I am taking Cha Cha to work and then heading to Schaumburg and then picking her up after work so there is probably some time in there for a wink or two.

One of the bad things about being awake all night is that when the night is over you feel like you wasted your whole night. It's not like sleeping is that productive but that isn't thought to be a waste of time. Obviously, we need to sleep but why is sleeping so much better than lying in bed trying to sleep? You're basically doing the same thing. Is it really just our minds that need the rest? If so, why do some of us dream? I dream occasionally and maybe I was really asleep all night and just dreaming that I couldn't sleep. I bet if you go back to my three years or so of blogging I bet a great deal of them discussed sleep (more the lack thereof). Maybe my one-track mind is different than some. Nah...I just have a two-track mind.

A couple of months ago I blogged about a lady who had a friend she lived with die and she cashed some of his Social Security checks for quite awhile after he had died and his body decomposed in her home. Now there is a report of three people in Wisconsin who have been cashing Social Security checks of their mom/mother-in-law. Marie Jost was last seen alive about 30 years ago and law enforcement feels her body may be buried on her property in Amhert Junction, Wisconsin. They are excavating the yard and, in the meantime, her 66 year old son, 69 year old daughter and 71 year old son-in-law have a new address and some new orange wardrobes. What in the hell is going on up there in Wisconsin. And to think we in Illinois are living right below them. Middle is as Middle does.

Madonna really knows how to keep her name in the news doesn't she? That's it...you'll have to look that one up because I don't want to get political today. Okay, I included a link there if you give a squirt.

Co-founder of Apple, Steve Wozniak,  has decided to leave America and become an Australian citizen. It seems that Australia is developing a national broadband network that will make sure all Australians have broadband service by 2021 and Woz wants to be part of that. Depending on what happens in November with the election I may join him. Cha Cha and I had talked about heading to Canada a few times but Australia sounds good and they really seem to like our podcast so that is cool. Canadians like the show too but not as much as Australia. I learned on the podcast last night, that you cannot hear yet, how long Cha Cha and I are suppose to live so we have time to make some decisions. Woz says that his home is not connected to broadband service and it seems he likes the way the Australians are thinking...I think I do too. America is more about money than people. Give me a call if you need security or a driver or something; I can be ready in an hour.

I haven't blogged this early in awhile and I seem to flow a little better in the morning. I guess I am still a morning person even though I work at night and I don't sleep much. Once a morning person always a morning person in my case. I think I like early morning because everybody else is still sleeping so I am really not missing anything if I use morning for "me time."

Why am I so fascinated with Jesse James? I have always been ever since I can remember. That was more of a rhetorical question but if you have an answer that would be helpful.

Have a great day. Thanks a lot for spending a few times reading my brain...sorry if it scares you. Imagine how I feel having this junk rattling around in that chasm. TTTT (I will let you know later when the podcast is ready of I can get that done today)...MITM (out to be awake  and awake and awake...) TA!

Sometimes We Need to be Clint Eastwoodish!

I just woke up at about 4PM so now I will be up all night. It's usually good because I work nights but then on the nights that I am off I would like to be a regular human. Maybe on my "weekends" I should go hangout at a casino. I think I am more tired than usual today because after work this morning I took Fabio to school, went to get my third and final Hepatitis B shot; it's a requirement for my job. The first was in March and the second in April and the last one was set for September so now I guess I will not bet Hepatitis. Now I can deal with the bodily fluids I have to deal with occasionally without impunity. I am not really sure if "impunity" is the proper word there but how often to you get to use that word even if it's only close to fitting? I wonder if I can get any of the other Hepatiti? Spell-check seems to think that Hepatiti isn't a word but I bet it is...Hepatitises doesn't seem to be correct. Nope, Spell-check doesn't like that one either.

I have always liked Clint Eastwood's films but I am starting to think that maybe he isn't as good of an actor as I had once believed. What do most of his characters have in common? They are: socially awkward, they are crabby or mean, they don't care about anybody but themselves (mostly)... Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby, In the Line of Fire, Heartbreak Ridge, Every Which Way But Loose, The Outlaw Josie Wales, all of the Dirty Harry films, Play Misty for Me... I thought of that because I saw a trailer for his new film, Trouble with the Curve, and he looks like the same old crabby dude. Maybe that is why he hangs out with an empty chair.

The NFL Referees Association, the referees' union, is getting it easier and easier in their negotiations with the NFL the longer the replacement referees are working. They are blowing call after call after call and everybody is starting to appreciate how good the regular referees are. **Penalty for ending a sentence with a preposition... five line penalty enforced at the end of the blog**

Actual photo posted on our neighborhood Facebook page

I just went outside and shot some baskets with Fabio. After we were done I went and got the mail and saw that we had a letter from our homeowners association. It was about an upcoming meeting and included an agenda and a proxy vote sheet if we want somebody to vote for us. I don't really care what they do. I am gonna do whatever I want anyway. Why do we have to have "big brother" everywhere? Can't people just live their lives? We have more and more signs popping-up in the subdivision that say "for sale" or "new reduced price" or "foreclosure"... Our subdivision has a Facebook page and people go on post things like showing photos of people's yards with weeds in them... and ask "who do I speak to about this?" How about go the people at that house and talk to them about it? I wrote that on the site and the response was, "maybe I will try that." I thought I was kidding when I said (because being a smart-ass is one of my best features) that but they didn't even talk to the homeowners before thinking about going to our city's "code enforcement department." Maybe go out in the MIDDLE of the night and pull the weeds in a black Ninja outfit. Do it on Halloween and say it must have been some wacky kids. I wouldn't mind living next to a weedy yard...it would make my yard look that much better. Be more like Clint Eastwood sometimes! Stop short of the Magnum Force though!

Cha Cha will be home soon and we need to do dinner and record a podcast so I have to finish for today. I will probably blog tomorrow. Tomorrow night we are going to a movie because I cannot pass up free admission and $100 gift certificate for Morton's that both expire next week. Have a great night. Thanks for stopping by and remember to come back tomorrow...you never know if I might blog something worth reading ...it does happen occasionally, I swear! TTTT...MITM (vapor)

Who Wrote Today's Blog? Nobody!!!!

Why do we reward the weirdos in our society by putting them on television? Doesn't it reinforce and reward their bad behavior? Snooky and Honey Boo and hoarders and The Real Wives of Bug Tussle... There was even a Reality feature in last night;s Primetime Emmy Awards. The presenters made a joke (though it didn't seem like a joke) and gave the score of the Sunday Night Football game before announcing the winner of the reality Emmy (the Ravens beat the Patriots 31-30 and The Amazing Race won for reality show). I say that about the reality shows but I watch several now that I think about it. I watch Survivor and The Amazing Race regularly and Dog The Bounty Hunter, Duck Dynasty, Storage Wars and quite a few others on a time-to-time basis as it turns out...I am part of the problem!!!!!

The next James Bond film. Skyfall. begins November 9th. I have never really been much of a James Bond fan until recently mainly because it always seemed a little hokey to me. I had always felt that Bond films should have been more spy stuff and less nonsense and gadgets and that's what happened with the addition of Daniel Craig as 007. I feel that he is easily the best James Bond of all time and I now consider myself a James Bond fan as of Casino Royale (not the Peter Sellers one though that one was okay, but a spoof, too). Have you ever seen The Spy Who Knew Too Little? If you get a chance to see that one check it out...it stars Bill Murray as a bumbling idiot that stumbles into good things by accident (maybe I like it because I can relate).
A stranger asked me the other night, "Platoon or Full Metal Jacket?" It was a very odd question from a perfect stranger and I was a little on-guard after he asked me that thinking to myself, "Self, is this the day you will die?" but I answered, "that's an easy one...Full Metal Jacket!" Joker and Gomer Pyle / Lawrence of Arabia and Gunnery Sgt. Hartman! Those were all great characters. Great movie but weird question coming out of nowhere from a stranger. Me love it long time!!!

Where did the term "perfect stranger" come from? How can you know someone is perfect especially if they're a stranger? I thought nobody was perfect. I have always wanted to change my name to Matt Nobody so when somebody said, "nobody's perfect" I could say either "thank you" or "yes, I am."

I am tired...I think I am tired a lot. I think I even dream that I tired when I am sleeping. Is it even possible to be tired while you're sleeping or am I the only one? Have you ever slept in your dreams? I don't think I have but if I am tired in my dreams how come I don't sleep? And then, if I woke up in my dreams, would I really be awake or just dreaming that I was awake?

I believe that is my queue that I am done. Thanks a lot for letting me get some of that out of my system. Have a great Monnight...thank goodness it's Friday! TTTT...MITM (tired and confused and maybe even dreaming) TA!

Happy Hispanic Alzheimer's Awareness Month Day!

I just woke up and I am ready for a nap. I actually will take a nap in a couple of hours before I go to work.

I even got the name wrong

Today is national Alzheimer's Awareness Day; that seems kind of cruel to me. It's also Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15 - October 15). It's a special time if you're Hispanic with Alzheimer's. I am having a very hard time not making fun because I am sure people who have loved ones with Alzheimer's disease have a difficult time of it but for the people who have the disease it has to be kind of nice even though they don't know it. How refreshing would it be to be able to do or say whatever you wanted and people wouldn't get mad at you? How great would it be to not to have to worry about anything? If I get Alzheimer's do not feel sorry for me. The thing I would hate about it would be when people called it Old-Timers or All-Timers... Cha Cha's mom called it Elm Heimers. That's cruel naming a disease that is about mental breakdown something that even many people with 80% of their faculties cannot pronounce. They say memory-loss is one of the early signs of the disease but that makes it tricky because that's one of the first signs of old-age too. I am not really sure if I am getting old or I have Elm Heimers (maybe Old-Timers makes the most sense);maybe I have both? Alzheimer's was named for Dr. Alois Alzheimer who "discovered" it in 1906. It would have been better to call it Alois Disease. Many people cannot even pronounce my last name (Helser) so how do we expect them to pronounce Alzheimer?

The Prime-Time Emmy Awards are tonight. It's awesome that we can honor people who make millions of dollars doing something that they love to do. Is it just me or is this ridiculous? I think I have made it abundantly clear over the blogging years that award shows and all-star games and the like for people who get their butts kissed every day of their lives are crazy. I have railed on this many times so I will just leave it at that. I hope Breaking Amish wins something! Not really, I have never seen the show but the title cracks me up.

Maybe I was better-off not blogging today...I appear to be in some kind of a mood that I was unaware I was in until I started blogging. Maybe I have Blogheimer's.

What is the definition to the word "emergency" to you? When would you call 911? Obvious things like: someone requiring immediate medical attention, someone trying to break into your home, a missing family member, a fire... A 56-year-old man in Florida must have thought he was dying of thirst because he called 911 because his daughter wouldn't get him a beer. When the police arrived he changed his story and told the police officers that his daughter was hitting him and throwing stuff at him and using drugs. Smart daughter had recorded the entire conversation on her mobile phone and none of that happened and the man was arrested. Now he'll have to ask a guard if he wants a beer.

I have to go play Risk with Fabio. He played it at a party last night and he likes the game. He was surprised when he told me about it and I said, "I think we have the game on the game shelf downstairs" and he went down and there it was! It is a LONG game but I told him I have to take a nap so we are gonna start and play for awhile but it takes as long as Monopoly so we will leave it set up and continue it later. I will probably play for an hour-and-a-half or so.

Thanks for stopping by and if you have a loved-one who has Alzheimer's I am sorry if I offended you but I sincerely think that they are not suffering if they don't know what is going on...I mean no disrespect. At least I made it "aware" on "awareness day." TTTT..MITM (out to take over the world in RISK) Ta!

I Fought the Tree and the Tree Won!

I just got done mowing the lawn for probably the last time this year while engaging in hand-to-hand combat; more like arm-to-branch combat. Let's just say that I am bleeding a great deal and the tree that too the first punch is still standing swaying in the breeze looking in the window laughing at me. It's the better person/tree who could easily go out there and end his life with about an hour of sawing turns the other scratched-up bleeding arm.

While I was mowing I was listening to Pandora. I love Pandora as you know if you listen to Dirty Laundry Podcast. If you haven't checked it out you need to check out Pandora is you like music. It's free or you can pay if you want to eliminate the occasional commercial. I am cheap and if I can get it free I will. I began listening to my AC/DC station and then that station played a Van Halen song so I quickly added a Van Halen station while still mowing. It was funny because right after Hot For Teacher the station played For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) by AC/DC. That's what I love about it...it knows what you like and customizes your stations based on your likes. You know, Eddie Van Halen is always called a great guitar player but Alex Van Halen is a pretty good drummer too. I think I heard that when they began playing music Alex played guitar and Eddie was a drummer. I think I heard that or I imagined it or something.

I am glad that trees are not made of steel and can not rust because I think if they were I would need a tetanus shot. What can you get from a cut from a tree? Dutch Elm Disease or Aphids or something?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Rises

I just got an email that said the Apple IPhone 5 is available. I will wait until next year until I can get the 6,7,8,9,10 or 11. Not really, I am tired of them trying to tell us what we need. I have what I need and I don't need a new one. I am waiting for the day that we decide to go back to rotary phones because someone told us that is what we need now. Can you imagine a rotary cell phone?

I watched last week's Saturday Night Live on Hulu last night. I laughed so hard a few times that I actually had tears running down my cheeks. I have great hopes for this new cast. I am not a big Seth MacFarlane fan but he was pretty funny. I must be one of the only people in the world who abhors Family Guy. I also never liked American Dad! He was writer on Johnny Bravo though which I thought was very funny. Tonight the guest host on SNL if Joseph Gordon-Levitt; he's a good actor and he is getting a lot of work right now including Dark Knight Rises.

I hear outside a lawnmower humming. I think I guilted someone else into mowing their yard or a wife/mother to yell at her son/husband into mowing. Hey isn't today the start of Autumn? I love Autumn. I even like the term Autumnal Equinox. Fall is my favorite season I believe. Spring is pretty good too. It may be a tie.

Have a super Wedsnight Saturnight and enjoy the equinox (isn't that a great word?) I appreciate you mucho. Mucho Appreciado!!! I don't know if I will blog tomorrow but even if I don't I will be blogging in my mind. TTT????...MITM OUT! Ta!

Wouldn't You Like to be a Blogger Too?

Maybe the only time you will see this ad.

I am so tired of the hyper-sensitivity in America. The reason this comes to my mind is because of a new advertisement (now pulled due to supposed controversy) by Dr. Pepper. Nobody ever has a problem with cartoon animals or produce or usually inanimate objects like spatulas or oven mitts talking and hawking goods but an ad showing the theory of evolution is unacceptable. Shouldn't the problem be with sugary-drinks that have helped to make obesity in America so prevalent instead? In the ad all three figures are well-proportioned and it would have been more believable if they had been a little heavier. Maybe these figures were supposed to be used in the Diet Dr. Pepper advertisement? There are so many untruths in advertising yet this simple photo has caused such fervor.  That makes me think of the "wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too" commercials from the 1970's or 80's. Was that realistic with a huge crowd of people following a dude down the streets of New York City singing and dancing and all getting along more real? Also, I believe in evolution but I am still open to the other theories too. Couldn't it be possible that there are bits and pieces of each theory mixed to make up a truth that we aren't even aware of yet? Now we are hearing that maybe Jesus was married and did you know Adam was married before he was married to Eve? We don't really know much at all as it turns out.

I am still stuffed-up (nasally that is) and I think it is actually me being sick rather than allergies. It's probably due to the weather change and the early fall-like temperatures but whatever. I will get the cold out of the way early and then I can enjoy the sub-zero temperatures of the inter in full wellness.

Cold, rainy weather = meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. I already made the mashed potatoes but then I scooped them into one of those Pampered Chef baking stone pan dealies and threw them into the oven. Cha Cha likes them crusty, which is why she likes me more and more every day. I sprayed the top with canola oil so they get crustier still. Then, at the end, I will turn the broiler on for a little to get the top golden brown. Can you tell I am hungry? I hope it gets done soon because Fabio just came down at 5:15 and said he was going to the high school football game a little after 6:00PM. And, guess who gets to drive him? Winner, winner meatloaf dinner! I sure am talking about meat a lot for a Pescaterian. I wonder how he is going to get home since I will be at work? He doesn't like his friends to see him in the Fiat by his friends so he probably doesn't want Cha Cha to pick him up. It's odd because the girls all love the car and then they talk to him a lot...he hates any kind of attention; I hope he gets over that by the time he is in the NBA (I know that probably won't really happen but if it does I will sound really wise except the part where I wrote "that probably won't happen" and then I won't...).

Cold weather comfort food

I have to wrap up because the timer is beeping and I have to get Fabio fed and to the football game. Have a great Frinight (makes sense that they have Friday fish fry's but maybe they should call them Fish Fri's? - free marketing tip to you Friday fish servers.) I may blog tomorrow because tomorrow is only my Wednesday...it really doesn't feel like Tuesday morning right now does it? Thank you for taking the time you took with me...mucho appreciado! TTTT (82.3%)....MITM (loafing out)!

The Ghost and Mr. Blogger

What better time for someone writing a blog called Matt In The Middle to write the blog than in the MIDDLE of the night huh? It is 2:20AM and I was asleep for while but I have such a terrible headache that I woke up. It's one of those headaches near the Cerebellum and I can feel draining back there when I press on the base of my melon. I think it is sinuses but maybe cleaning the shower with toxic chemicals in such a small closed-in area has something to do with it? I write that in case I die and the toxicologist is trying to to pin a murder on someone. It wasn't murder it was "death by stupidity in cleanliness." It wasn't the rope or the lead pipe or the revolver or the candle stick or the knife or even the wrench...it was death by improper ventilation. Further evidence would be: my prints on cleaning supplies, the video and the register receipt of me purchasing the cleaning supplies, the clean shower, the prints on the insides of the gloves (as long as prints can be removed from rubber?), an eye-witness (Fabio saw me cleaning the shower)... That, coupled with this blog, should exonerate (how often do you get to use that word?) everyone. Maybe I am thinking about death and sneakiness because I am watching The Ghost and Mr. Chicken; MIDDLE of the night television is great.

I cannot believe how many messages we already received about our most recent Dirty Laundry Podcast. We have another musical guest in two weeks and those seem to be very popular. Who doesn't love music? This last show was mainly blues music with John Allen and Eric Solfisburg and the next music show is going to be with Forest Sun. Forest in San Francisco and his music reminds me a lot of Jack Johnson, Paul Simon, Mishka and Xavier Rudd. It's hard to pigeon-hole artists that way because most singers have a wide-range of different songs. I can also hear Jimmy Buffett and Van Morrison in his songs as well as a little Randy Newman. You'll have to listen to that show, you know I will remind you, but check out his website that I linked there on his name. Make sure to listen to this week's podcast too because I guarantee you'll like it or double your podcast listening fee money back (provided you didn't pay anything for our free blog). Even if you are not a blues fan you'll hear some rock and how "blues is the roots and the rest is the fruits."

There's a lot of Barney Fife in Luther Heggs (Mr. Chicken) or visa versa. His "whole body is a weapon" and he's studying karate by mail.

I think I want to see The Master. It starts Friday and I still have that certificate for me and up to seven friends (I only have six...damn) to see a free movie at Hollywood Palms in Aurora/Naperville. Hey, I thought Joaquin Phoenix was "never gonna act again"? I was going to go this past Wednesday night but it didn't work-out. I only have one more week to use that and my $100 Morton's Steakhouse gift certificate so I suppose next Wednesday night it is! I am sure they will have The Master there. If you want to go to a free humpday movie let me know (you just have to purchase one item from their menu...that's easy at a theater that serves booze and has popcorn). I know four of us that will probably go but that leaves four...first come, first served.

It's 3:24 AM now and I am going to try something else to try to get rid of this headache...at least I am still alive and I am not at that point of being sick when I wish I were dead yet. Don't you hate when you get to that point of illness when you seriously wouldn't mind if you were dead? Thanks for being here; if I haven't mentioned it in awhile I really do appreciate you reading this and listening to the podcast. Have a great Thursday and Thursnight and I will probably blog again on Friday. A blogger blogs! TTTT...MITM (out with a pounding head in the MIDDLE) TA!

A Change is a Comin'!!!!

I had the time of my life today. I cleaned out our shower. We have "basically" cleaned it regularly but there was some rust build-up from before we got the water softener and we haven't gotten the rust off from the hard water. It wasn't that hard of a job, just time-consuming. According to the voices in my head there should be no more rust in the shower because we now have soft water. We'll see how that works out.

Last night we had a great time with Eric Solfisburg (Dirty Laundry Podcast's Music Director) and John Allen (from John Allen & The Cotton Gin fame) on Dirty Laundry Podcast. It was one of the best shows we have done in quite some time; not that we have done any bad shows but this one was particularly good I think. John showed that he is an amazing musician with a lot of knowledge of music history but he is kind of like the Schoolhouse Rock version of music history. He tells a story and then plays a song or a little ditty to further demonstrate what he is talking about. It was an honor having two such great musicians as our first guests in the new Kajunkles Studio! We will be playing John's music off-and-on for quite awhile. And, of course, we will play Eric's music nearly every week (his theme songs for DLP are awesome and the back-beat of the show).

I took a break there, sorry. Dinner was done and I hadn't eaten at all today so thought I should eat. I made pork chops for the other humans in here and I don't eat swine so I had Tilapia. I also baked some potatoes (with sea salt on the outside) and made my cilantro corn. It was more of a succotash this time though because I put some black beans and onions and green onion too this time. I think succotash was invented to get rid of veggies before they went bad.  Maybe it was really like a corn salsa without the chips?  

It feels like November out and it isn't even October yet. I wonder if we'll still have to carve pumpkins this year? It's the time of year that we have to decorate the house all the time. Put away all of the summer stuff and get out all of the Thanksgiving and Halloween and Christmas crap. It would be so nice to live in a climate that is the same all year 'round so we could keep all of the same stuff in the yard. Gotta put away the hoses and get down the snow blower and bury the lawnmower in the back of the garage and put away all of the hammocks and patio furniture... we're a bunch of morons. Why did my ancestors settle in the MIDDLEwest? I think I am just cranky because I usually love living where we do. Maybe I am cranky because I have seasonal allergies that have been driving me cuckoo bananas for a couple of months now. If we lived somewhere else I may not have the allergy problem.... thanks a lot ancestors!

While I did the grocery shopping today I stopped by the C.O.P.S. store and bought a new duty belt. I am not really sure what C.O.P.S. stands for but I just looked it up on the web and the store is actually called C.O.P.S., Inc. but it does not say what it stands for. They sell what you may imagine they do (police and fire and emergency equipment). I doubt they will ever get held-up since both of the dudes behind the counter were packin' heat. Is that even a phrase that's used anymore? I hear "packin'" sometimes but you never hear the heat part anymore... the heat is the best part. If I ask you if you're packin' maybe I am just wondering if you're going on vacation. Anyway, it's a small store but it's pretty cool...even for a liberal like me.

Okay, Survivor: Philippines is starting. Fabio and I have been watching Survivor since he was able to see. I don't know why we like it but we do. Maybe it's the bikinis that the women wear? Maybe it's the feeling of superiority that the show gives us? I wanted to talk about divorce but time is up. If I remember I will discuss that tomorrow (what a tease). Anyway, TTTT...MITM (out until probably tomorrow). TA!

Over 40,000 Blogged (it works for McDonald's)

A big week has come to an end. I officially started my 50th year on the planet. That's right isn't it? After your 49th birthday you are living your 50th year? I think that is right. Also, last night was the end of my six-month probation of my newest position at my job. I don't know if I want to move-up in this job any more. I don't want to have to keep going through probation after probation. Maybe I will call in sick now just for the heck of it. Not really, I don't call in sick unless I am in the hospital with a kidney stone or something. I play hurt unless it feels like someone kicked my in the marbles with size 18 steel spike-toed combat boots.

Supposedly there is snow on Mars. Snow means water right? There may really be Martians. I always wondered why there were always Martians but never: Jupiterians or Uranians or Neptunians or Plutotians (no longer a planet), Saturians, Venutians or Saturnians. I know they have always said that Mars' atmosphere is the closest to Earth's and now they have snow? Why do we keep going to the moon? Let's go to Mars already.

I think if I am elected the President of Mars or, The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of Mars as I prefer to be called, my first order of business will to make all companies of Mars' work weeks be as follows: work Monday and Tuesday, get Wednesday off, work Thursday and Friday and then get Saturday and Sunday off. That's pretty much what my week has been this week. I worked two, had one off, worked two (if you count tonight as the second) and then I get two off. It seems like two two day weeks. It's quite mentally refreshing.

The movie Contagion is on right now and Elliot Gould just said, "Blogging is not writing, it's graffiti with punctuation!.:"&%$@,/>?" I am the Banksy of blogging then...I called it!

I saw yesterday that this blog has had over 40,000 page views since I started writing it. I wanted to thank you for that because if you're reading this now you just helped to make that number go up again. I suppose if I were selling ad space or something this would be useful information but I will just use it for motivation to keep writing the blog. So thank you for motivating to keep punctuating my graffiti.

Tomorrow Dirty Laundry Podcast Musical Director Eric Solfisburg will be in the studio for an interview. I bet we talk about music. I need to wrap-up to do a few things before I have to get ready for work. Have a great Monnight (my Friday - not even my Frinight). Thanks again for stopping in regularly. If you live in the area I am still looking for four more people who want to go to Hollywood Palms Wednesday night so I can fully utilize my eight free passes. Let me know if you want to go. I think I want to see The Campaign. TTTT (probably)...MITM (out).

Nudity and Dog Poop!

I am tired of all of the time-outs during NFL games. The automatic reviews of touchdowns... are all so they can stretch the games longer and get more commercials scheduled and so the people at the games get hungry and thirsty and have to go spend more money too. Money, money, money. Since the invention of the DVR (digital video recorder) I suppose they have to do stuff like this; they know most people aren't going to record a football game. Now, as I blog this, there is an "injury time-out" and they went to commercial during the Jets - Steelers' game. What ever happened to dragging the guy to the sidelines and keeping the game going? ARRRGGGHHHH!

Some dogs are more considerate than their walkers

Yesterday I drank about 15 glasses of wine and didn't even get a buzz. We went to the Vintage Illinois wine festival and the "glasses" of wine were probably about three inches of wine each so I guess technically they weren't "glasses" of wine but they were in a glass so technically they were. Who knew there were so many technicalities in wine-tasting. It was a fun day. We got to see a horse poop near us and then a dude was walking with his dog and the dog stopped to poop and the dude and the dog just walked away. People all around him, including us, started booing and people were yelling "clean it up, clean it up..." Who ever knew wine drinkers knew chants? Anyway the dud walked away and didn't look back. Eventually, he came back with another guy and the pooping dog and he cleaned it up. The poopy guard who came with him took the bag of poop and went north and the man with the pooping dog went south. This guys sole purpose was to take the poop and dispose of it somewhere. I wonder what a job like that pays? We bought three bottles of wine in addition to all of the glasses we drank. We got a cranberry wine and a red wine or some kind and a mead (that's the stuff Friar Tuck made from bees' honey) called Pirates Blood. It is a sweet wine but has chili peppers in it so it's also hot/spicy. I may not have bought that one, even though I liked it, but it came in a bottle shaped like a glass skull...they had me at peppers and skull.

My six month probation at work ends today. I am not sure if it ended at midnight on the morning of the 16th (this morning) or it ends tonight at midnight which will be the 17th or it ends at the end of my shift tonight/in the morning. I guess it doesn't MATTer and it will come and go (unless it has already come and gone) and I won't feel any different. The probationary period doesn't really mean anything to me because my behavior will not change from when it is/was during my probation to when I am out of probation. I always do my best to do a good job and I will always will. It would MATTer if it meant more money but it doesn't.

Kate MIDDLEton (the princess or duchess or lady or whatever she is called) had some photos of her bathing nude at a friend's chalet taken by paparazzi. They were published in French and Italian newspapers. So, the Royal Family had their lawyers try to stop further publishing and now one of the papers is going to have a 26-page spread of photos tomorrow at the newsstands. I am sure these newspapers are really sad by the Royal Family doing all of their promotion for them. Sales will be incredible because such a big deal is being made of this. Maybe the Royals have stock in the companies that publish these papers?

I just heard a quote that I really like. James Carville said, "Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh on one side and Pennsylvania on the other and Alabama in between."

I have to get some dinner and get ready to go to my two hours of probation and six hours of post-probation or eight hours of post probation or my last eight hours of probation... Tomorrow night will definitely be eight hours of post-probation. Have a great night and thanks for stopping in. If you haven't listened to Dirty Laundry Podcast check it out...great for bedtime...always puts me to sleep. TTTT...MITM (probationary out!) TA!

I Am Much Wiser Today... The Blog is Proof!

Matt Utility Belt

Just got home from work and I want to go to bed but Fabio has a dentist appointment at 9AM so I cannot go to sleep until after that. Also, I need a new duty belt so I think I am going to get that this morning too. It should be called a doody belt because of all the doody that gets attached to it. I think I may start calling it my Matt Utility Belt.

Why isn't the Lambeau Leap considered "excessive celebration?" In case you are unfamiliar the Lambeau Leap is when the Green Bay Packers player who scores a touchdown at Lambeau Field jumps into the stands. I am not really against it but I am not really sure where the line between "excessive celebration" and acceptable celebration is.

I heard that Astronaut Neil Armstrong is going to be buried at sea. He was in the Navy so it makes some sense I suppose. It makes sense other than the burying part. He won't really be buried will he? No! He's going to be dumped in the ocean (what's the difference between a sea and an ocean?). I think they should throw him on a rocket and send him to the moon. If any American should be "buried" on the moon it should be Neil Armstrong. Maybe they should name the moon after him. The moon needs a name - "the moon" is not much of a name for something so cool.

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Fill up your car today. All of this business in Libya is going to raise fuel prices. Matt Mark my words! They look for any reason to raise gas prices and pretend it isn't their doing. It's because of the drought, it's because of the rain, it's because of the war, it's because of not enough war. It's really because you're a bunch of money-grubbing Scrooges that don't give a crap about anybody but your bank accounts and your financial balance sheets. I would get a horse but the drought has made Purina Horse Chow too expensive plus my Home Owners Association would probably send me a letter or take a picture of it.

Today is Friday (yours and mine, sort of). I took tomorrow off to go to that wine fest and then I go back to work on your Sunday which will be my second Thursday and then I will work your Monday which will be my second Friday. My weeks are dizzying. Let me to sum up... tomorrow is my mini weekend and then I have a mini week and then a regular weekend. I am going to just taste Moscato and  Mead tomorrow methinks. Probably Moscato D'Asti too. Sparkling Moscato doesn't sound quite as classy. Do you think our neighbors would hate us if we got honey bees? Against the Covenant?

Free HBO / Cinemax weekend for you with DirecTV. You thought I was kidding when I said awhile back that I check every weekend to see if there are free preview weekends.

I have to think about getting ready for work. Have a great Frinight and Saturday. I am fairly certain that I will not blog tomorrow. I would take my laptop and try to drunk blog but I imagine they don't have wifi in the MIDDLLE of Starved Rock. If they had those Indians (I am tired of calling them Native Americans. I mean no disrespect by the word "Indian" so I will continue to call them that. I never played Cowboys and Native Americans when I was a kid. I could not respect, appreciate and admire these people any more than I do and I will call them Indians!) would not have starved on that rock. They could have ordered a pizza at the very least. How come Cleveland didn't change their baseball team to the Cleveland Native Americans? The Washington Redskins does seem a racist to me though.

TTT Sunday (yours).... MITM (looking for a designated driver. Should be easy - who doesn't want to drive a Fiat with a mustache). TA!

I Can Sleep When I am Dead! Or, Undead!

Saturday Night Live (SNL) has picked their new cast member to portray President Obama. They have decided to go with Jay Pharoah to replace Fred Armisen to play the President. I never really cared for Armisen's imitation but it was a lot better than I could have done. I have been a big fan of Jay Pharoah since he joint SNL as a "featured" player. He did great impersonations of : Will Smith, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, 50-Cent... I have a feeling that he will do a perfect impersonation of President Obama. Jason Sudeikis will play Mitt Romney; I bet that one isn't as good as Pharoah's. He is going to be a superstar...I wish you could but stock certificates in actors like you can in companies; I would but lots of shares of Jay Pharoah. I think SNL starts this coming Saturday.

I am sure you notice that the look of the blog has changed. I was messing with the looks of the blog and now I cannot figure out how to change it back. I am not sure whether I like the new look or not but I will leave it for a couple of days and decide. If I find I don't like it I will try harder to figure out how to change it back. Maybe I had been grandfathered-in with the old look and the when I changed it I lost my grand ambassadorship.

I didn't realize that Presidential libraries were privately funded. That's crazy. There are only 15 Presidential libraries. There are three close to me - Harry S. Truman / Independence, Missouri, Abraham Lincoln / Springfield, Illinois and Herbert Hoover / West Branch, Iowa. George Washington doesn't have one, Thomas Jefferson doesn't have one, John Adams doesn't have one but George W. Bush has one. There's something wrong with that.

I wrote those previous three paragraphs about three or four hours ago and now it's 2:47 AM and I am not sleepy at all. I am reading my book and doing laundry (not Dirty Laundry Podcast but the real laundry) and the television is on. I was lying on the couch and trying to sleep but I couldn't. I had The Green Mile on, which I have seen many times, thinking I would fall asleep while watching and then the alarm-dealy (actually it's a song) came from the dryer and I wanted to get the clothes out of there so they wouldn't be wrinkled by the morning so I got up and got them out and moved the ones from the washer to the dryer and started another load (dish towels this time). I would be in a real world of hurt if I had to work in the morning but, thankfully this time, I work nights (but this is my Sunday). I have to wake Fabio up at 6 AM so if I go to sleep now I will never wake up to get him up. The alarm in the dryer is going off again so, I will be right back. The clothes are folded and I am back; the washer says it still has 18 minutes to go. Man, I live an exciting night life. Jealous?

Television is really bad in the nighttime. I thought there were a lot of infomercials on during the day but in the MIDDLE of the night it's about 150 channels of commercials trying, not very successfully, to disguise themselves as television programs. Right now I have on a show that was very prophetic. I had seen it before back in 1999. It's Edtv. I thought it was okay when I saw it in 1999 but I didn't realize a film about following a guy around 24/7 would be about 70% of what our television shows would be in 2012. Nostradamus must be the writer of this movie. I think The Truman Show was about this same time...I just looked and The Truman Show was 1998. These movies were like how-to manuals for the Real Housewives and the You Think You Have Singing, Dancing, Juggling, While Cooking on an Island Full of Celebrity Marines Talent shows. I know all of the trends end but this reality television one has lasted about eight years too long (provided they started eight years ago).

I am gonna quit writing now and read my book. I am also going to work on the outline for my novel. I have many, many, many notes (Cha Cha loves my notes) and I think I have enough ideas for the preliminary outline for the story. I am excited. I know now that my leaving my old job about three years ago and having a job now that when I go home I am at home was meant to be. I now don't have to make calls from home for work or plan my next day for work or see if my Nextel or pager goes off (remember I was there for 17 years so I worked there through a lot of intrusive technology) because one of the people who worked for me didn't want to make a decision or one of my many bosses just felt like busting my stones for something that happened that was totally out of my control so they called me. It seemed bad when that job ended but I believe I found the rainbow at the end of the Wicked Witch's castle. Now I can write the book that I was meant to write. For a guy who was "gonna quit writing now" I sure wrote a lot more.

I hope you have a great Thursday and Thursnight. Thanks a lot for keeping me company through the scary night...man, I love the night. TTTT (probably a bit later than this one today)...MITM (hey, there goes the washer's alarm...what great timing). TA!

I Bet Editing Lives Would Go Over Big!

I am done with the podcast for this week and it's time to blog. It took me four hours to edit and upload Dirty Laundry Podcast. This is the first time that I actually paid attention to the time it took to edit the show. It only takes an hour to record it and four to edit it. I bet it's the same in anything: movies, television, music... Maybe even in publishing? That's one great thing about the blog; I write it and hit "publish" and there it is. I reread it sometimes and find that I should have spent a little more time in the editing but it is more personal with the misspellings and grammatical errors I think. At least that's what I tell myself. I was an editor for the paper in college and I keep returning to editing - maybe it is destiny (density as George McFly would call it). The other thing about the podcast is that it's in my mind almost all of the time - obsess much? I just learned that we will have DLP Music Director Eric Solfisburg on the show next week...I am excited. Then the first show of October we will have Forest Sun on the show debuting his new album Just Begun (we already played the title cut last week and it isn't even on his website yet). Wouldn't it be cool if we could edit parts of our lives? I wouldn't edit any of the big things but would change a lot of little things probably.

What in the Hell is going on in the world? I imagine it's global warming but, tornadoes in New York City? Flooding in Las Vegas? The hurricane in Louisiana and the earthquakes in California are to be expected I suppose. The drought and then the chilly weather in the MIDDLEwest? I am sure if I weren't so lazy I could find many more weird anomalies in the world but these come right to mind.

This week I work Thursday and Friday and the I have Saturday off and then I work Sunday and Monday and then two days off again. It's like a weekend, a two day week, a one day weekend, a two day week and then a weekend. Saturday I took off to go to the Vintage Illinois wine festival. Cha Cha really loves it and I had fun when we went there a couple of years ago so I am looking forward to it too. I cannot believe the month is almost half over already. I have a certificate for eight people to see a movie at Hollywood Palms that I have to use by the end of the month and I have a $100 gift card that I have to use at Morton's: The Steakhouse before the end of the month. I don't HAVE TO use them but they are not valid once the calendar turns to October. You don't suppose they all know that I blog and have a podcast and are looking for free pub do you? I am a sucker for freebies.

This may be the Komodo Messiah

I just read that virgin births are not uncommon in the animal kingdom. There are known cases of virgin births in: sharks, chickens, turkeys, komodo dragons, pit vipers and boa constrictors, Does this mean that these animals also have messiahs? Are there Virgin Mary snakes?

I am tired of being sick. I have been on the verge of being ill for about three weeks. It may be allergies but whatever it is I am sick of it. I am tired of being sick and sick of being tired. The tired part is probably not going to change while I work night which may never end. I am tired right now as a MATTer of fact. I think I am gonna take a nap. My body is used to being asleep right now and a body wants what a body wants.

 Thanks for stopping by. Have a great Wednesday afternoon and Wedsnight. Tomorrow I will be able to commit more time to the blog since I won't have a podcast to edit. I hope we stay weekly so I don't have to edit every day. It's hard enough to get people to listen once a week can you imagine every day? Me neither. TTTT...MITM (land of nod visit ahead). TA!

Maybe the Terrorists HAVE won!

I am home for work and the weekend has begun. I would usually be asleep by now but I felt like blogging so I don't have nightmares about not blogging. Actually, since I sleep during the day, I guess I would have daymares. That must not really be a word because Spell Check just put a little red squiggly line under daymares...there it is again.

How could we?

Do you believe it has been eleven years since the 9/11 World Trade Center disaster? Why do we feel we have to rip the scab off of things like 9/11 and the bombing of Pearl Harbor each year? Would it not be better to let these wounds heal? I have mixed feelings as we have to remember the people who died on these days but how can we move-on if we continue to relive these events? But, also, we have to remember so things like this are less likely to happen again in the future. See what I mean about being torn? I am arguing with myself from one sentence to the next and the problem is I am losing.

I don't really feel like blogging anymore right now...I guess the terrorists have won. I am tired so I am done. Maybe I will blog again later but more likely it will be tomorrow. TTT Later...MITM

Hail Blogger, Hail Blogger!!!!

I read yesterday that Morgan Freeman had died but then I didn't read about it in any credible place and then I read today that it was a hoax. I am happy that it is a hoax as I like him a great deal and selfishly want him to entertain me more. What fun do people get out of starting these hoaxes? Maybe it's actually agents starting these rumors so some idiot in the MIDDLEwest writes a blurb about your client in their blog and their client stays in the public eye? How do I get a death hoax started for the podcast or the blog? I don't mean the podcast or the blog themselves as they are always on the verge of death but the hoax of my death so people read the blog and listen to Dirty Laundry Podcast. Then, why do I care if people hear what I blog about or what we podcast about? Am I sad because all of the money I spent for a college education is wasted on a communications background if I don't utilize it? Use it or lose it? I really like doing the podcast and blogging and maybe deep down slightly down just below the surface I wish one of the two would go viral so I could just do that for a living. I am quite sure that will never happen but a girl can dream. Bottom line... I am thankful that Morgan Freeman is still with us.

I am still working with our automobile insurance on Splenda's car accident. It has been about three weeks? Maybe they are dragging their feet because they brought a slight bit of The Agitator in me out two weeks ago and I threw-out a couple of swear words in the insurance industry - Geico and Progressive. What do I need an insurance agent when I have to make all of these phone calls anyway? They don't call me back like they promise and everybody is either "out of the office until Thursday" or "on vacation" or "won't be back until after the holiday?" I may seriously have to make a few decisions once this is all wrapped-up; a lot depends on the outcome but they had better have a really big final two minutes to make a comeback in this one. I understand the whole idea for mandatory auto insurance but I know it was the insurance company lobbying groups that pushed this through because if it weren't a law people wouldn't pay for this abuse.

There must be a lot of money in talk shows because there are at least a dozen new ones that just staryed: Katie Couric, Jeff Probst, Bullwinkle J. Moose... One of those I made up, I think, though I wouldn't be surprised that he would get his soon. Boris and Natasha would be great guests.

I am really tired. I woke up earlier than usual so I could deal with this issue and the issue is now dealing with me again. I will probably go back to sleep for a little bit after I finish the blog and make dinner for the gang (can three be a gang?). Tonight is my Friday and, for some reason, that always means not having to have as much sleep to make it through work. Isn't that odd? That is proof that everything is about 90% attitude. Good news from work last night...I got my request for this coming Saturday (the real Saturday) off so I can go to the Vintage Illinois wine festival thingy near Starved Rock. I could tell you why it's called Starved Rock but you probably don't care. If you want to know tell me and I will write about it but it would probably just be easier to Google it which is why the art of storytelling is dying. When technology eventually betrays us and tries to take-over we storytellers will be king/queen. I am not a very big wine drinker but Cha Cha likes it so I go. Maybe she likes me because I am a good designated driver; everybody needs a purpose in life.

I think I had better start dinner even though it is not even 15 bells yet but I am sleepy. I think I will go and visit my mom and dad tomorrow and stop by Portillo's in Oswego for a grilled tuna Caesar salad. I am surprised that Caesar was such a big salad eater. I wonder which Caesar it was. I bet it was Marcus Aurelius. No, it was probably named after Julius Caesar...everything Caesar-related seems to be named after him; he must have been a self-indulgent Caesar. Wasn't July named for him? The Caesarean Section? Why was that one named after him?

Splenda just called me, literally JUST CALLED ME, and her bike was stolen. She had it chained and locked at the mall where she works while not at school and somebody cut the chain and stole her bike. It's hard being a dad sometimes when your daughter is six hours away. It seems like a really big thing to her, and it kind of is, but she wasn't hurt, thankfully, and sometimes things like this need to happen to good people so they are reminded that there are people out there that aren't nice like them and don't always do the right things. So, now she doesn't have a car (temporarily) and she is walking to buy a new bike and lock now. She reported it to the police but that was probably a waste of time...but maybe not?

I gotta go now so I can make spaghetti and get to sleep. That was the name of my third album, "Spaghetti & Sleep." You might have heard of it...it's a household name. Have a great Tuesnight (probably somehow named for Julius Caesar). Thank you for letting me feel like my writing makes a difference. TTTT...MITM (out).

Are You Ready For Some Blogball?

Made entirely from silver dubloons found on The Dread Pirate Roberts' ship

I am worried about Jay Leno. How is he going to live on half his salary? He has agreed to a 50% pay cut so people can keep their jobs on his show which seems nice on the surface. I don't know if I could live on only $15,000,000 per year. I need at least $30,000,000. About 25 people have been let go from The Tonight Show and he took the cuts to prevent even more people from losing their jobs. How about getting rid of Jay Leno and hiring a less expensive funnier person so ratings would elevate and they would get more advertisers to pay for the salaries for these 25 people that were let go because of his lack of entertainment? I think this is a nice thing on the surface but I abhor Jay Leno. I will never watch The Tonight Show while he is the host and have not watched even one since he took over as host. There have been people on the show that I have really liked and I have not watched it because I dislike him more than I could like anyone. I do not think I would watch that show if my own children were guests. I would probably rethink the boycott in that case but it would be a game-time decision. His net worth is estimated at $180,000,000 so I hope he can eeck by on only $15,000,000 a year salary. If I was a viewer I would expect to see more product placements on the show coming up (HP Touchpad...)  He will probably start appearing in more Doritos and Burger King commercials in his cars that are worth than most of our neighborhoods. Is my disdain for him evident yet? Maybe Conan or Dave can take over the show eventually though The Tonight Show doesn't mean what The Tonight Show used to mean thanks to Jay.

Whew...I feel better having gotten that out of my system, thank you for reading.

The NFL has kicked off and now that the games are all on I must admit that it is weird not to be flipping between games on the television and the computer and NFL Network to see which player did what. People would always ask me what my favorite football team was and I would say depends on who is playing who that week. I have played fantasy football for at least ten years straight. You never realize what you have until it is gone. I didn't think I would miss playing but I do. I would listen to 620 AM on the radio out of Milwaukee to listen to the Green Bay Packers' games because Aaron Rodgers was my quarterback. It was like I was living back in the 1920's listening to a football game on the radio which would go in and out because, in my case, it was from a town a couple of hours away. It wasn't exactly like living in the 1920's because I would also be clicking back and forth between games on the computer and most of the teams I had guys from didn't even exist in the 1920's. In 1920 I might have been listening to the Rock Island Independents play the Dayton Triangles or the Chicago Cardinals play the Muncie Flyers or the Canton Bulldogs play the Columbus Panhandles. Now I will have to say that I am Miami Dolphins fan again but I really have grown into a Green Bay Packers' fan over the past couple of years though that would not be very popular in the Chicaoland area.
Tonight is Thursday for me. I know I write about how my Thursday is your Sunday and my day is your night a lot but I do it mostly to remind myself what day it is in my life because I am mentally lost most of the time. Thank goodness for the blog to keep me on track in my world. I wonder if the blog is also why I am less stressed these days too? I get to vent about things that bother me. It could also be that I no longer work at a job that I worked for almost 17 years that I could not stand for the last 14 or so of it. The job I liked, it was some of the buttholes I worked for and/or with that I did not like. There are buttholes everywhere we go (that is a scientific fact) but it's better to go where there are less of them flatulenting (probably not a word). I always have a butthole following me around.

All of you other MIDDLE-agers remember the O.J. Simpson trial and now there is talks that there was evidence tampering involved with the glove. You remember, "if the glove does not fit you mus acquit." The former L.A. District Attorney, Chris Darden, is saying that Simpson attorney, Johnny Cochrane "manipulated"  one of the gloves. Darden says that he believes that Cochrane tore the lining so Simpsons fingers could not go all the way into the glove. One of my friends from high school took the famous photo of Simpson wearing the glove at a football game. My friend even testified at the trial. I remember being in a bar playing pool and looking up and seeing my buddy on the television on the witness stand at The O.J. Simpson Trial.. I had asked him to be on Dirty Laundry Podcast but he said he didn't think that it was a relevant topic anymore. I told him that any Crime of the Century was always relevant but I think he just didn't want to be on the show. We still talk about The Lindbergh Baby and Lizzie Borden still these days. Right now I will say that I won't bother him about it but I probably will. I am pretty sure that I will now that I think about it.

Enough outta me for today. Have a Super rest of you day and night. I am happy you stopped by during halftime or between games. Maybe the alcohol made the blog better huh? TTTT...MITM (if the blog don't fit I must now quit) TA!

Blogger Than You and You Are Not Me!

Good morning (3:20PM is my morning on certain days). It's a beautiful Autumn day in the MIDDLEwest. It's 72 degrees right now and supposedly it will get down to around 45 tonight; I love it. The smell of the fresh air with the windows open.

I just read that R.E.M., the band from Athens, Georgia not the eyeball movement while you sleep, has send a cease and desist letter to Fox News to tell them to stop playing Losing My Religion during its coverage of the Democratic National Convention. Michael Stipe has spoken out against the news network (just like The National Enquirer is a newspaper) saying, "We have little or no respect for their puff adder brand of reportage. Our music does not belong there." That is all they get for playing their music without permission? That makes me think that we can start playing whatever music we want on Dirty Laundry Podcast without permission? I would even frame the cease and desist letters. Wait, I bet Fox paid for the rights to use the music but R.E.M. just doesn't like it used in the manner which they are using it. I have always loved R.E.M.. I even saw then in college when they appeared at a very small venue and I didn't really know who they were at the time. Anybody who knows anything about the band can probably guess that they would be anti-Fox News. I would be my next big toe that they are Democratic too.

I actually love "discovering" new music and playing the songs on the podcast. Small acts need some exposure and bands like R.E.M. seem to being doing okay without our help.

My mind is empty. I cannot think of anything to write. It's kind of a nice feeling. Maybe I should go outside and while away some hours conferring with the flowers. I have things in there but they are things that you wouldn't be interested in because most of them are even boring me. I haven't been bored in so long I forgot how nice it feels. I have plenty of things that I could and should do but why? Once you start doing things more things rise that need to be done. I wish I had off work tonight because I feel like drinking a couple of pitchers of mattgaritas. Next Saturday, the real Saturday and not just my Saturday, we are going to Starved Rock in Utica, Il to the Vintage Illinois Wine Festival. We went a couple of years ago and had a good time. The photo that I put on here from time to time with my ugly mug between two wine glasses was from that day. Last time I tried Mead for the first time; that's what Friar Tuck drank. Come on down and join us...nobody likes to drink alone. Okay, I like to drink alone but that is just something they say.

Vintage Illinois Wine Festival 2010 

I think I am going to read my book for awhile and maybe outline a bit of the novel I am writing; the Autumn weather inspires me. I REALLY, REALLY hope it's like this next Saturday. I have always found that I look better when it's cooler outside (I look better the more of me that is covered up). Have a great day and depending on things I may blog again tomorrow. Seriously, make plans to come drink wine all day with us next Saturday. TTTT (80%)...MITM (out)

MITM - 1986 Electoral College Graduate

My hope is maybe she just doesn't want to be found

Howdy! It sounds like Autumn has returned to the MIDDLEwest for a few days; I could not be happier about that. I love cooler weather and the rain is just an added schwing for me. I have to get a nap in here before work tonight but I know I promised to blog so here it is. I need to finish this in like twenty minutes to make it worth while.

I was not surprised that Drew Petersen was found guilty for the murder of one of his dead wives (Kathleen Savio). This is the wife that they actually have a body for. I watched the news right after the verdict came in and they talked to Savio's family and I think maybe they should have had a family spokesperson. The brother had a T-shirt and sweatpants on and the mother talked about Petersen "smoking a cigar with the man in the red suit downstairs" or something like that. I felt like I was watching Saturday Night Live or Jerry Springer. And some of the people in the crowd who had been waiting to hear the verdict made the family look like The Kardashians (wardrobe-wise anyway). I have seen a lot of Drew Petersen since we live in the Chicagoland area and knew he was white trash (Rob Lowe didn't exaggerate the role when he played him) so I wasn't surprised. The thing that always amazed me about the whole thing was that, even when he was suspected of these murders and he had a wife that was missing, he was able to pick-up young pretty women and get them to date him and, in some cases, marry him. I always try not to pigeonhole but I don't have very much hope for the town of Bolingbrook, Illinois. I have known many people from Bolingbrook but they must have been transplanted from other places because they were not Drewish at all. Maybe Stacey Petersen really isn't dead; maybe she just disappeared...I am pretty sure that's the avenue I would have taken.

Before I left for work last night I watched about three hours of the Democratic National Convention. I have always said, several times on Dirty Laundry Podcast even, that I do not consider myself a Democrat. I honestly listen to each candidate and make my choice based on what they say and, more so, what they do and have done to prove their character in the past. There is not question that I will vote Democratic, Presidentially, in the upcoming election. I voted for Obama in 2008 and I think he has done an amazing job for the past four years. He saved the American automobile industry and he got rid of one of the biggest threats to the people of the world, Osama Bin Laden. One of the funniest things I heard last night was that "D is for drive (Democrat) and R is for Reverse (Republican)." That is very true in recent years. Also, watching both conventions, I saw that the R's were about 98% old whiteys and the D's were 98% diverse. I am probably verging on an old whitey buy I love diversity. I also love food and without diversity all we would get to eat were hamburgers and hot dogs (or are they German too?). No tacos, stir fry, margaritas, gyros, sushi, guacamole, salsa, spaghetti, margaritas, brats, french fries (freedom fries), crepes, margaritas, Swiss cheese... you've got the picture.

Seven years of electoral college down the drain

Do you know what I hate about election years? The Electoral College. We can file our income taxes on-line now, we can order medicine on-line, we pay our bills on-line, we order license plates on-line, we can buy a house on-line now but they cannot count each one of our votes individually? I understand that we would still have to go to a voting place to make sure the people who are voting are the people they say they are but why can't we vote and have each individual vote be tallied? I tried to apply to Electoral College so my vote would count but I was denied admittance. I think I want to design T-shirts with a logo and everything for Electoral College. Was it established in 1776? We don't have on-line courses at Electoral College though. I have always been very leery of this process.

Well, it's 5:28 so my hopes of napping by 5PM are pretty much shot. I will try for 5:45 now. Thanks a lot for letting me get on my soap box about a few things today. I hope you have a great weekend while I am enjoying my Tuesday and Wednesday. I may blog again tomorrow. If I do remind me to tell you how we may have the original Jason Voorhees on the podcast. I don't really have the art of suspense down quite yet do I? TTTT (probably)...MITM (out like a light - hopefully). TA!

My Schweddy Balls Are / Is Back!

It's the MIDDLE of the night (currently 2:23AM) and I cannot sleep. What is the actual MIDDLE of the night? Does night begin at dark or does it begin when PM starts? It doesn't make sense that 12:00 PM is night so I would say night begins at, let's say, 6:00 PM. So, the MIDDLE of the night...wait, we have to know when night ends to know how to calculate the MIDDLE of the night. Let's say day begins at 5:00 AM. So, since night is from 6PM - 4:59AM the actual MIDDLE of the night is 12:29 AM? That doesn't seem right. If that is the case I am already past the MIDDLE of the night.

I love Ben & Jerry. In case you are unaware they are ice cream makers from Vermont. They seem like really good guys who care about helping others as well as the Earth... They have most recently been in the news for making Schweddy Balls ice cream which I could never find. I ached to have Schweddy Balls in my mouth but could not get my hands on Schweddy Balls. I was planning on getting two if I could find them but I could not find a pair of Schweddy Balls to save my life. I would give my right ball (I believe I keep the football on the right) to taste Schweddy Balls. Anyway, Ben and Jerry are suing adult DVD makers (that is a fancy way for saying porn) Ben & Cherry's for making films like: New York Fat & Chunky, Peanut Butter D-Cup and Boston Cream Thigh for an undisclosed amount. I am guessing these were based on Ben & Jerry's flavors: New York Super Fudge Chunk, Peanut Butter Cup and Boston Cream Pie. At least they changed the names. I could have made adult films without changing the names to: Cake Batter, Chubby Hubby, Chunky Monkey, Cinnamon Buns, Chocolate Therapy, Half-Baked, Karmel Sutra, Mud Pie (not that into it but to each their own), Late Night Snack, What A Cluster... I could keep going on but you probably got the idea about 1/3 the way through that.

Yesterday I blogged that I have always liked Bill Clinton. Last night I watched him speak at the Democratic National Convention (DNC) and I like him even more now. I am not sure if it's that I really like him or I have  finally crossed that border where I am an old fart because I have never listened to a political speech in it's entirety before. I hope it is the former because I am not ready to change this blog's name to Matt In The Middle Even Though He's Old. You have to respect a man who supports a dude who beat his wife (for the Presidential nomination in this case) and then gives her a job. A More Perfect Union!
I started reading my book but that wasn't helping anything so I watched Varsity Blues on Netflix on my laptop. I have always liked that movie a lot. It's not cinematic genius but it's a good story if you like football. I was hoping it would make me sleepy but it did not. I am happy that I work nights because I can sleep all day if I need to before I go to work tonight. I don't know why I cannot sleep. It must be the whole vampire thing rearing its head again. I gotta say I love the night better than the day and maybe subconsciously I prefer sleeping during the day. Since I began working nights my length of sleep has increased once I do get to sleep. I seem to sleep more soundly during the day for some reason. Less distractions with everyone else at school and work I think. Maybe it's the whole man of the house having to make sure everybody else is safe deal? As long as my coffin lid is closed tightly while it's light out I am good to go! For some reason a Bloody Mary is sounding very good about now.

I should probably try to get a few hours of sleep before I have to get Fabio up for school. If I post this now will anybody actually get to read it? It will be about four hours old before many of you are even getting out of bed. I am going to read my book for a few minutes and then sleep until 6AM. Then, while I am making Fabio's lunch (I wish he would just eat hot lunch like the rest of his kind) I will post this. Maybe I will even add something more if it comes to me during my brief slumber. It is 2:46 now so TTT...just after 6AMish! MITM (out to try to sleep)

Hey, I slept for 2 1/2 hours...woo hoo. Now here is the blog via time warp again.