I am PMs'ing but I think it's mild enough that I can keep it in check unless someone "tests" me today. My feeble friend upstairs (me brain) just cued Beyonce's "Single Ladies" in my head. Now I'm probably going to have to introduce "Single Ladies" to Roz.
I got my first hate mail from a blog yesterday. It was not hate aimed at me or the Mattinthemiddle blog per se rather the hatred for cilantro. I know I delve into some pretty controversial topics and I knew I was taking a chance talking about a sensitive subject like cilantro but that's what writers do...spark thought and conversation. One of my "peeps" from the beginning, oh so many blogs ago, Tricia (I am using her name because it's her name here and the one she used for the comment), was brave enough to tell the world that she suffers from cilantrophobia.
We are here for you Tricia. I think we should start a cilantophobia support group. Tricia has offered a link (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/14curious.html?emc=eta1) so we can better understand this debilitating affliction and help our friends who may not be able to experience our joy of cilantro. Since Tricia was so brave I will reveal what I have been trying to hide for years. "Hello, my name is Matt Helser and I suffer from mushroom-anemia and bean-thyria." Admitting it is the first step to recovery Tricia. We can lick (pun intended) these afflictions and still live normal lives! We'll get each other through this."Bloggestion" is now officially part of The Urban Dictionary.
I got an email from MLB (Major League Baseball) yesterday. They want me to vote for the All-Star teams. The season is about two weeks old and I'm supposed to know who I want to be on the All-Star team? This really frosts my cupcakes! It's just a popularity contest. It's not actually about who is playing well. I know people say it's about who played well last year but I want to see who is playing well now - this year's All Stars. Don't vote for the All-Star team! Maybe they'll change the voting then.
Who invented appetizers? When I go to dinner I am hungry or I wouldn't be eating dinner. I don't need appetizers to make me hungry - especially stuffed mushrooms or bean dip (deep breath).
I have ridden my bike a lot this week. I hope my asstroids don't flare up. I know you always thought hemorrhoids should be called asstroids too. Roz even played me a special "Earth Day" playlist yesterday while I peddled to GoodWill and went $1 shirt and shorts shopping. I need to take some of my "plus size" stuff to them soon too.
Jill said my Kenny Chesney hat makes me look like "Brokeback Mountain". I told her that at least those guys "got some". She said that's why guys would be great for each other.
I'd be all for it: twice the wardrobe, someone to golf with, weekend trips to Vegas, a live-in drinkin' buddy, ballgames, nightly poker games, pickin' up chicks (could we still do that?)... I guess I did all that in college and I'm not ready for a commitment quite to this extent quite yet (not that there's anything wrong with that). One day I'll get the courage to "man-up" and watch that movie.Ok, my time is up; I gotta "quit you" for today. Thanks for participating (comments here and on my Facebook) and reading my blog. If you want to email me you can do that too - mattgarita@msn.com or matt@mattgarita.com. Now go on with your day and good luck getting "Single Ladies" out of your hear. M-Hel out! (that one doesn't work either does it?)
(cilantro from cilantrokitchen.com, astroids from elsaelsa.com & Brokeback Mountain from greginhollywood.com)
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