Census training started yesterday and I received my F.Y.E.O. (For Your Eyes Only) folder, I was fingerprinted twice by the FBI and sworn in with the same oath that The President of the United States' cabinet takes. Then I found out that it is against Titles 5 and 13 of The United States Code for me to discuss my Census duties with anyone so I guess my blog will continue to consist of my boring Middle life. I did also find out that my group was hired earlier than most groups because we are Special Operations. I am working Special Ops for the U.S. Government (no kidding). I would tell you more but I am way too pretty for prison. I bet my workouts would get stepped up a notch.
I can tell you that the woman sitting next to me (I apologize to her if she's a reader of this blog) is the most annoying person on the planet. She reads my notes while I'm taking them and asks me about them, she asks the instructor all the time if she can help with this or that, she keeps talking about how this is much better than "four-year-old talk" (she has a four-year-old), telling me how to fill out my tax forms while I didn't even ask her anything, "I should have been an accountant" talk, I wonder why she isn't married. Thankfully, we're in a different top secret special ops location today so it won't be too awkward when I don't sit next to her. Remember, we are creatures of habit and if I changed seats in the same room it would cause tension (social experiment time).
Thanks for all the great comments on my Facebook page about my past blogs; you crack me up. If we're not Facebook friends let's be, shall we?
When I was walking around Chicago Monday I decided to walk into the Trump International Hotel and Tower (even the name is "UGE"). I think I know where the Milwaukee Bucks stay when they're in town...they were "Uge". I walked around a bit and then was asked "is there something I can help you with sir?" I used Marcel Marceau's famous line from "Silent Movie" and left walking past the red Ferrari sitting in the front. I walked past a couple of hours later and that same Ferrari was still there. Either it's left there for people like me or there's a super hero staying there that needs his car "at the ready."
Speaking of super heroes...The Hard Rock Hotel on Michigan Avenue is one of the coolest-looking buildings I have ever seen It should be , and maybe was and/or will be, in one of the Batman movies. The Wrigley Building is cool too. I've been by them a million times but never noticed them like this before. You don't see much while dodging traffic in a car. That's another reason to take "Shank's ponies". That's what my dad always called it when we walked when I asked how were we "gonna get there"...pause for a wiki break...("Shanks' (or shanks's) mare (or nag or pony) derives from the name of the lower part of the leg between the knee and ankle - the shank, nowadays more often known as the shin-bone or tibia. This was alluded to in the early form of this term - shank's nag. This originated in Scotland in the 18th century.") I always thought he made that up.
Well, I need to do my James Bond workout and get ready to hop in the Mattmobile (walk, ride bike...) and depart the Mattcave for my Special Ops training at our double secret location. I will sit next to a window if possible (probably one-way glass) so send the Mattsignal if you need me or call the Mattphone (cell) would work too I guess though it will be on super-secret vibrate. Wish me well citizens for what I do today I do it for you. Who am I Bryan Adams?
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