The Adventures of Matty Appleseed

I am feeling very melancholy today. I go through these mini bouts of depression and I think I am entering one now. I get depressed that I am not working full-time. This must be how housewives of the 1950's and 1960's felt. They worked their tails off everyday all day long but felt like they weren't contributing. I honestly don't know how all this stuff got done when we were both working full-time. Maybe that's why I was so stressed all the time; that and working a job I hated. I have applied for eight jobs this week but who knows? I am a Middle-aged guy who is competing with people half his age for jobs that I am over-qualified for; enough of poor me and my self-pity party. I spoke with a guy yesterday that I worked with at "The Bureau" (Census). He hasn't gotten a call back yet about doing the next phase of the Census either. I will call them today; I hope Barack takes my call.

I finished all the laundry yesterday including all of the bedding. I went against my earlier postings and put more towels on the line for drying. These weren't as sandpapery. I don't know if it's that I didn't keep them on the line as long or the drying process was more wind than sun but I have become obsessed with finding out. This must be how Steve Hawking is about working on the time and space thingy or how Al Einstein was with that whole theory of relativity dealy.

Did you hear that Hugh Hefner bought the land around the "HOLLYWOOD" sign? I found it amusing that he bought the "Hollywood" "land" because the sign originally said "HOLLYWOODLAND". I am easily amused. I think it's great that he bought that land so no one could buy it and build houses there. It's part of Americana. Just what we'd want to see is some of these instantly-rich eighteen-year-old vampire actors building their quadrillion dollar mansions right into the letters. I'd like to buy a vowel.

When I went to the store the other day I made the cardinal mistake and went while I was hungry. I still did well even though I was hungry. On the way home I realized I was starving so I reached into the back and grabbed an apple out of the bag. I always find it romantic somehow when people are eating apples for snacks. I think apples are one of the perfect foods. They're good for you, they're nature's toothbrush, they tell the future (twist the stem to find out who your true love is) and, it's okay to throw them on the side of the road because you're feeding other animals and maybe growing a tree. I'm Matty Appleseed. That makes me think - wasn't Johnny Appleseed just a hobo (my dream job). How can you go wrong by eating an apple...well, there was that one time and now we have to wear clothes.

Do you know which alcoholic beverage is the only spirit that is a stimulant rather that a depressant? I learned this on "Great Cocktails" on the Fine Living network. Tequila is the only booze that is a stimulant. I guess it's because it comes from the agave plant. Maybe that's what I'll do today "one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." Oh yeah, I have to coach baseball tonight...I'd better start early.

I got roped into managing one of those stupid "Happy Islands" on Facebook. I can't even manage my own life and now I'm in charge of making hundreds of guests on my islands happy. What makes us want to do things on-line like: run a farm, take care of a puppy, develop and manage two islands. Do we need more stress? I don't! What the heck do I know about F.A.A. regulations that qualifies me to plop my airstrip wherever I want? I don't know the first thing about shipping lanes or the arctic current yet I move my cruise ship dock whenever and wherever I want. I have designed and developed an entire country club but I have never even shot par. Do I need more stress or is it escapism? It's a pretty fine line and I think I have to abandon my island. I wish they'd offer options like: tsunamis or earthquakes or volcanoes or something. Then it would be like real-life in the World of late.Speaking of islands - in the original King Kong if they were so afraid of that huge ape running-amuck on Skull Island why did they build a door big enough for him to go through?

Have a nice day as long as you don't live on my Happy Island (maniacal laugh)

(johnny appleseed graphic from appleparmuseum,co, hollywoodland sign photo from publicadress.net, tequila photo from ajs.com & skull island graphic from eagleonemedia.com)