Yep, I've Got a Few Screws Loose

cue the theme song of the day

The electricity in our entire neighborhood went out for a couple of hours this evening. It was great. The only sounds you heard were the kids playing. We sure do take things for granted. I had already made Sparky and Sugar Momma dinner (Chicken Kiev and rice pilaf) and just as I was getting ready to make mine...out went the electricity. I thought...I will get on the laptop because that doesn't require electricity but guess what, the router does. I worked on my novel with a pen and paper; I think I am going to buy a quill. I wish we could have at least one day a week where the electricity goes out. Well, as long as the weather doesn't require either the air conditioner or the furnace; we were lucky as far as that goes. I sure hope nobody got hurt - electricity out in an entire neighborhood for that long usually means bad things for someone. While the electricity was out I spoke with Splenda for about an hour. She posted one of her art projects on Facebook and I think it's amazing (stop action video). Check it out if you want because re-posted it on my Facebook page.

Today I worked at The Egyptian Theater for the United Way Day of Caring. I cannot believe how many seats have a screw loose. Theater seats are like people I guess. You don't know who has a screw loose until you look closer. Supposedly the theater is haunted. Some say that spirits are pranksters so maybe they spend their time loosening screws so people can fall on their bums. How come I saw no sign of spirits while I was there for several hours today? Do ghosts punch a time clock and they all work the graveyard shift? The Rocky Horror Picture show plays there Friday night. Maybe there will be flying toast and rice and the sounds of snapping gloves and weird whistle sounds and confetti falling from the ceiling and cards and rain and toilet paper drowning the audience. Those kinds of things would prove there is paranormal activity in the Egyptian to me.

I have slowly gained five pounds. I have been a bit lax with my diet but I have also been working out a lot. Maybe I should measure my biceps and my chest and my thighs and my waist to see if it's muscle or food. I know working out makes me hungrier but it also burns more fat by boosting my MATTabolism. I am back on the good diet again beginning yesterday and I will fight through the hunger from working out. I must I must I must decrease my bust! I will die with moobs (Matt boobs) and there's nothing I can do about that short of plastic surgery...MIDDLE men get moobs - that's the breast way I can say it.

I still think I need to get a haircut. I asked Sugar Momma if she thought I would look good bald. She said I'd look like a thumb. Does she mean cool like the Fonz? Going into Fall and Winter is no time to be thumbing-it anyway I guess.

I am going to try to keep this shorter because it seems people aren't reading the blog so much anymore. I know it can't be the content so it has to be the length (TWSS). So, even though I have a lot more to blog about, I will save some for tomorrow. Have a nice Friday. This is the day I finally win the lottery even though it's only $55 million. I guess we could have a pretty good party on a boat (warning - R-rated version ) with 55 large. Blog ya later millionaire-hater!

** ben franklin graphic daylight saving times from school-of-champions.com, theater seats graphic spooked from afterlifeparanormal.com & thumb hitchhiked from i-am-bored.com **