Presenting...Nature Girl!

I'm still pretty tired but I didn't blog last night so I know I had better do it today. I worked a marching band competition at the football stadium that lasted twelve hours. There were 30 high school bands that competed. After that twelve hours were done I went about 1/2 mile to the basketball arena and worked a sorority dance until 4:00 AM; 17 hours on my feet without a break...this supervisor thing is great. Other than my feet killing me by the end it seemed like it was only about five hours. So then I came home to an empty house just before the sun rose. Splenda is at college, Sugar Momma was with her friends in Quincy and Sparky was at a birthday sleep-over. You'd think I would have slept all day but I was up at 9:00 AM because that is my curse; one of them anyway.

One of the nice things about having the ladies out of the house is that we get to leave the toilet seat up. I have always been very good about lowering the seat for the ladies and I have taught Sparky to do the same ever since he has been able to stand. When I am alone or it's just me and junior I leave the seat up,however, converting the toilet into a urinal. When I think about it - why do I have to put the seat down? If I forget just push it down...gravity was invented for just this purpose. I'm just kidding...the argument that "I don't like to get up in the MIDDLE of the night and sit in the toilet bowl" is a pretty compelling argument to me. I want to leave the seat up but I always lower it for you! I have always heard about "penis envy" and couldn't imagine what that REALLY was because I don't believe it is real but if there is one thing that is nice about that extra weight down below it's the joy of being on our feet just a little longer each day.

I have an excellent idea for an invention that I am working on. It would not be wise to say what it is until I have the idea legally protected but I wanted you to be aware that I am working on a great invention that will change millions of peoples' lives every day. I know I could trust you with my idea but there are people who may read this, not current MIDDLERS, that would steal the idea. The reason I even say there is an idea that I am working on so people keep asking me how the "invention" is coming so I continue to work on it so I don't disappoint you. For your diligent assistance my dear Watson, I will make sure you get one of the first ones off of the line! Between this and my book and my movie I should have Mattgarita Mansion In The Middle opened by 2020! You're all invited to The Grotto.

Sugar Momma is back on Mattgarita Island now so the toilet seats are all stowed and in the downright position. She said that the wine festival was nowhere near as good as the one in Starved Rock. I know you might think she is just saying that to make me feel better but she doesn't do that. She tells me like it is. She did have a great time with MADYM and Sue though. Sue needs a blog nickname too. I sometimes call her Seis because when Splenda was very young she couldn't say Sue for some reason and she called her Seis. (I think it was Splenda but if it was Sparky I apologize but it really doesn't make that much difference). Sue is like a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (that's the female Daniel). She's a professional archeologist, a troop leader (son's and daughter's), a naturalist and makes her own everything. She sent us some homemade preserves and persimmon butter with Sugar Momma. I feel like I am an Indian Chief (the former name for Native American Chief for you non-MIDDLERS) deciding on a tribe member's name. From this day forward you shall be known as Nature Girl (woman doesn't flow as well and Nature Girl sounds like a super hero too). If I ever was on Survivor and could pick a partner to go with me (besides Splenda, of course) it would be Nature Girl! Now go out and pick us something to smoke in the peace pipe to celebrate and consummate this great honor that has been bestowed on you! I would do it myself but poison ivy of the lungs and tongue would probably be very painful.

The new chapter in the plasma donation saga is that they are making it difficult to schedule upcoming appointments. They had a website that I was using to make my appointments every Tuesday and Thursday. They added a new website called their "Easy Scheduler" that makes scheduling almost impossible. I have emailed them about it but doubt that I will ever hear from them. I think I may stop by the plasma center and talk to them Monday morning and if it is still difficult I will quit donating. I am certainly not doing it for me other than it makes me feel better to help people. I can help people other ways so if you have ideas for a bleeding-heart that wants to help let me know; beginning Monday I may have a couple of hours a week that will open up for volunteer work, I'll let you know.

Sorry to be the one to remind you of Monday...tell you why... Just think happy thoughts. Just focus on the fact that there will be another blog tomorrow and Monday will already be behind you. Your life, including today, is what you make it and what you want it to be so make it the best. I'll blog you again tomorrow. TTTT...MITM