My Midichlorians are Higher than Anakin Skywalker's!

The FORCE is strong in the MIDDLEwest

Top of the Tuesday to ya! This morning I woke up and felt like the bad mood-storm had passed. Then I went to donate plasma (one of my usual Tuesday/Thursday rituals) and the worm turned (TWSS). My blood pressure was okay and my protein was okay but my midichlorians (MIDDLE-chlorians) were too high. I think they said that they are higher than Anakin Skywalker's. They actually said something like my "dehymatients" were too high but I cannot find what that means (or anything close to that word) anywhere so I will assume that I am a Jedi Knight. I asked the lady, "what does that mean?" She said that "it could mean that you're dehydrated." I guess it works out well because I haven't worked-out in a while since we were out of town so now I can work out today. Should I work-out if my midichlorians are too high? Do I really need to work out or can I just Jedi mind-trick myself into shape? I really don't think I am dehydrated; I guess working out for a couple hours will help me find out, huh? As if I don't have enough self-doubt issues in my life now I have to figure out what "dehematients" are and what they mean to me. I just checked Lance Armstrong's site and I don't see them anywhere though he has great tips on building protein. Maybe I will call over or go back over to BioLife today and speak to a doctor to find out how much time I have to LIVE STRONG. I BELIEVE that I may retire from the plasma game - it's too much. But then, what would I have to blog about and who would save the galaxy one plasma donation at a time?

Sugar Momma did the art work for the Dirty Laundry podcast last night and started a mini-website; man is she talented. She's way too good for me; good thing she has bad hearing and poor sight or I would be alone (don't tell her I blogged that). My plan is to get the podcast to iTunes today for their review in hopes that it will be accepted before April 1st for listing on iTunes. Either way it should be available for you to listen to by Friday (April 1st). I plan to use The Force to speed Apple up even though it's supposed to only take 24 hours for their review process. Make sure to join the other single-digit of fans at the Dirty Laundry (podcast) Facebook page because that will probably be the easiest place to click the podcast link.

Even Lady Ga Ga seems to love Alejandro

I think, actually I know, that I am out of "the" loop. You know that I like Mr. Peanut, especially now that RDJ (Robert Downey, Jr.) does the voice. I guess this commercial has been around since the Super Bowl but I just saw the commercial with the Planters almond dude, Alejandro, while watching the Kansas/Virginia Commonwealth NCAA game Sunday. I love the Diamond-brand wasabi soy sauce almonds but if Planters has them I may switch teams because I think Alejandro and I should be Bromigos; we have the same fashion-sense!

Graceland fact of the day - Elvis had three televisions in his basement because he had heard that President Lyndon Baines Johnson watched all three networks at the same time and he wanted to do the same. For you non-MIDDLE-agers...when we MIDDLERS were youngsters we only had ABC, CBS and NBC. We also had PBS but they weren't a network and they were even more boring then than they are now. We also had some UHF stations (ultra high frequency) but they were usually "snowy" (static) until FOX grew from the snowy ashes and changed everything. we also had spectra-vision which we watched between the squiggles because at night they were the pioneers of Skin-O-Max. Factoid - the "B" in Matthew B. Helser does not stand for "Baines" either for those of you keeping score at home.

Who took my pen? Your Jedi mind-tricks will not work on me.

It's time for me to fly. I am going to work on the podcast first though maybe I will get hydrated as a precaution before. Yesterday I was playing the podcast to get it ready and our dog, Maisy the Pod-Dog, walked into the studio (it's really just an office but now I like to call it "the studio"). She never comes in when it's just me in here. She heard Sugar Momma's voice coming from the speakers and thought SM was in here. She thinks that SM is her mama. She follows her around like a dog; I think it's more than the fact that Sugar Momma drops food all the time and she likes to help by vacuuming it up. Have a slightly warmer day today - don't worry, the warmer weather is bound to arrive soon. TTTT...MITM (left half-an-hour ago but Jedi'd like I was still blogging - psych!) TA!