I watched most of the game at home. I found out why most people either go out to the bar and watch the games or watch them live or have a party. Because they won't fall asleep in overtime and not find out until the morning that their team won. In the words of the great Denis Lemieux of the Charlestown Chiefs, "You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free." I have followed the Hawks forever and never thought I would see this. I would like to go to the parade in Chicago tomorrow but my Middleness responsibilities make that impossible; I guess that is my penalty box. I am sure they can manage without me. Congratulations Middle Hawks!Today my son and I join my parents and my brother for another Middle summertime tradition - Cubs baseball. we are headed t the NorthernMiddle to the town of MIDDLEwaukee, Wisconsin to see them play the Brewers. I am a Cardinals fan so I want them both to lose but I want the Brewers to lose less. My son loves Jim Edmonds of the Brewers who used to be a Cardinal. My son even wears number 15 on his Pony League team because of Edmonds so we're rooting for the Brewers. It seems to be an
unwritten rule that Cards' fans and Cubs' fans are not allowed to EVER root for each other so that further makes the decision easier. All I really care is that the HOT DOG wins the sausage race. The Hot Dog had 22 wins last season. Now that the kids are out of school I have to resort to the real sausage race rather than the one for the bus stop every morning. Hopefully I will be there long enough for the sausage race (TWSS). We have to leave at some point to be back for our Pony League double-header against the Cubs here in Dekalb. Puck drops at 6:00. I mean first pitch is 6:00. It's going to be a long baseball day...Is this Heaven? No, it's the Middlewest!
Yesterday I was downstairs and came upstairs just in time to catch Sugar Momma changing her clothes. "You're like a cat," she said. I thought of it funny at the time until I remembered that she hates cats (don't tell my mom). It's funny I have Nudear or something. Nudear is my new made-up word just having a sixth-sense of knowing when nudity is afoot and knowing how to use my stealthiness to get within firing distance just in case. Nudear, of course, is the combination of nudity and radar.
You know how you know you're a Middle guy in America? because you lose weight and you have moobs (Matt boobs), I am going to go to my grave with A-cup moobs. There is nothing I can do about it. My pecs are rock-solid beneath the moobiness but the moobs trump the pecs. I am kinda mopey for moobie-puffs.
Sugar Momma took another the walk the other day and the same geese were out there and this time they hissed at us. What the heck is that? You fooled me into thinking you were a snake? I would take you more seriously if you "honked" at me rather than hissed. Is that the best hissie-fit you're got...not too scared Mother Goose. The geese crap everywhere. Why do they have to do it on the path..I should be hissing at them. I know where the term Like SH-T Through a Goose came from; these creatures are pooping machines. But where did the term Piss Like A Racehorse come from? Is that why they runs so fast because they have to get to the stall to take a leak?
Two days ago Subway offered free breakfast sandwiches. My son and I went over and got one...not too bad. They have egg whites or regular egg and several kinds of breakfast meat and then you get to use any of their regular sub ingredients (that is not to say that their products are inferior although there have been several cases of Subway salmonella in the MIDDLE in the least couple of weeks). That didn't stop us...you had me at "FREE." Splenda couldn't get ready in time to make the "free" cut-off so we visited two Subway's that morning so I could get her one. It dawned on my that we have eight subways within 10 minutes of our house. I could have had free sandwiches in the freezer for a week.
Why is Judge Judy called "Judge" Judy? She's should be called Judge, Jury, Prosecutor, Defender and Executioner Judy.
Sugar Momma and I talked about our list of ten celebrities that we would put on a list of exemption from divorce if we were ever to "meet." I don't know what that list is called but maybe I will do my top ten list of that some time. Sugar Momma said I couldn't handle that list from her and I thought she was correct but I handled it. Maybe because if I were female or inclined that way I would have chosen most of the dudes on her list too. Anyway, I didn't include her but I think Judge Judy might make my list. Well, maybe she'd be number 11.Gotta get to Menard's and get more sand and mulch before I head northMiddle. Today is the first full day of The Stanley Cup in The Middle so enjoy it. There will probably be little work getting done in most offices today with HAWKY TALK (I think I made that up just now so...trademark, copyright...). A compilation of Hockey, Hawks, and Coffee Talk. I just Googled "Hawky Talk" and it did not come up so I think it's MattintheMiddle intellectual property...that's an oxymoron if I ever heard one.
Have a great day before Friday...blog you tomorrow
**stanley cup photo slashed from hockeytrophies.wordpress.com, dancing hot dog softshoed from farfalle1.files.wordpress.com and judge judy kissing florence henderson photo adulterized from ll-media.tmz.com **
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