Friday, May 20, 2011

Happy Rapture Eve!

I like this Unabomber much more
I hate to be a Mopey Matty but I am kinda ready for the world to end tomorrow. Maybe I should get the boat out of storage today just so I can have it here in case we are under water tomorrow. But where would I go? I know it's near the end of the month and you know what that means.

I know it doesn't matter since The Rapture is tomorrow but now, since they think that Ted Kazinski (The Unabomber), was also behind the Tylenol tampering can we stop all of the over-packaging of every product known to man and bring prices of EVERYTHING back down so we can help to feed the world? It isn't enough that every bottle is wrapped in plastic that is ripped off and thrown somewhere to help destroy the planet, ironically, but then we have to take a lid off and remove the stupid other piece of planet-ruining material to get to the product we bought so we can throw away the package that is further suffocating our resources. Now, that would be "new and improved" to me. There's no way they will bring prices down. They just change the amounts that we get and charge us the same and pretend like they're doing us a favor by not raising prices. It irritates me that these companies that pretend to be our friends prey on the fears of the masses to capitalize on those fears and ruin our country in so many ways. I warned you that I was in a monthly mood....turn back now.

Where does the phrase "soft drink" come from? Liquid is soft I guess unless you hit it at a great velocity or freeze it and then it's very hard (becomes a solid). Is there varying degrees of soft drinks? I think there should be if we are gonna have soft drinks. Water should be a soft drink. Maybe juice could be a flaccid drink....

So now there is someone coming out and saying that bicycler or bicyclist Lance Armstrong used performance-enhancing drugs. We've heard it before. Who Cares? I guess the dude who is saying this was a teammate of Lance's and he's trying to sell a book he wrote. If athletes and celebrities are willing to destroy their bodies for our entertainment why shouldn't we let them? Gladiators did it without compensation. I loved watching Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire battle back and forth to try to destroy the home run record. I liked watching scrawny little Barry Bonds morph into The Incredible Bulk. They are in the entertainment industry and we need entertaining. I thought that's why they got paid the big bucks - so they could afford the good body-altering juices. Were we not entertained by Charlie Sheen's shenanigans? Alcohol and drugs and entertainment go way back; it's a time-honored tradition.
He did it for our entertainment!

I hope it doesn't rain tonight especially acid rain. I am really in the mood to have a fire tonight and get "juiced." I don't think I am going to work-out today because my back is killing me. I have been fighting a cold I think and it is taking up residence in my lower back. I guess I'd rather have a backache than a headache or a stuffed-up nose. Tequila and rum can take care of a sore back but they don't cure a runny nose. If you're bored tonight and it's not raining shoot me a text and I'll let you know if the fire is on. I have a lot of booze to get rid of before The Rapture. Perhaps I will start now. Maybe booze will be the new currency and I should hoard it? Cha Cha hates hoarding unless it's in junk drawers (Dirty Laundry Podcast) so maybe I will have to dispose of it in a more delicious way. Wanna help?

Enjoy your last day on Earth (Rapture Eve). I will miss you when you ascend to Heaven without me. I am fairly certain there will be no room for me at the inn. I will celebrate your great victory. F.Y.I. your information - I don't really think The Rapture is tomorrow. I just think that Filbert is a nut with a bunch of other nut followers (actually I know Filbert is a nut). TTTT (probably)...MITM
show 'em the door Roz

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