Happy Black Leap History Year Day!

I am not sure whether to wish you a Happy Leap Year Day or Happy Last Day of Black History Month. I guess it's both so celebrate doubly today. I did not realize that Leap Year Day was like Sadie Hawkins Day. The only reason I know who Sadie Hawkins was is because that's the day I never got asked to a dance - I guess that's partially a lie because I did get asked senior year of high school. The main difference between Sadie Hawkins Day and Leap Year Day is that on Leap Year Day the ladies can ask us fellas to get married rather than go to a dance dressed like a cast member of Hee Haw. You can ask me if you want, I better reinforce the doors in the house because I am sure there will be many attempts to beat them down, I am sure Cha Cha would be willing to trade me into one of those fancy new foreign jobs.

My sleep study so far is going swimmingly. I cannot believe how the first and second sleep helped; you may notice that I am writing this in the AM rather than the PM so that is come proof right there. I am not going to jump to conclusions since it has only been one day but so far I am impressed. Today I am going to sleep for about four hours, then get up and work-out and do some laundry and such and then go back to sleep for four more hours. So if you're going to ask me to marry you today I suppose the best time to propose would be between say 1-4 PM.

With all the not so terrible weather this winter I have been jonsein' for golf. I wonder if they would let me drive the Fiat on the course as my gold cart. With the top down and the clubs in the back seat I am pretty sure it would pass for a golf cart.

I am in negotiations with the Chicago Ghost Hunters Group (CGHG) to be on the Dirty Laundry Podcast thanks to our newest producer MADYM. It's not really negotiating so much as they want to be on the show, of course, it's just setting the date really but negotiations makes it sound cooler than it really is. I am trying to pursuade them to investigate the spot where I became convinced that there really is a conduit between this world and the next. I believe I am ready to reveal that publicly; I never thought I would be convinced for certain but it is enough for me. It may not be for someone else but I am a simpleton and when I am told by an EVP (electronic voice phenomenon) why am where I am specifically then I am convinced. I hope the Illinois Ghost Hunters don't get angry and think that I am two-timing them. Ghost shows are great for our podcast occasionally because I am like a wide-eyed six-year-old on Christmas Eve ready to believe all and knowing that Santa will soon be there and Cha Cha is the voice of reason that keeps me from going up on the roof to wait by the chimney.

It's funny how when I start to write this blog I get sleepy. I don't think that bodes well for the blog. Maybe if you're having a hard time sleeping at night you should crack this open (or whatever you do to read it) and settle down to be lulled to sleep.

I think I am going to wrap this up so I can get on to gettin-on. Have a very leapy day. Thanks for coming by to get sleepy - I appreciate the company. TTTT...MITM (ready to believe you)

The Blog Between First and Second Sleeps!

I thought I had better get something up here so you don't wonder if I am alive or not - I am alive. I just woke up from "first sleep" and am doing some things before "second sleep." You may ask yourself, "self, what is this business about first sleep and second sleep?" My hetero life-mate Greg Weindorf, who also happens to be the world's foremost entertainment critic and can be heard regularly on Dirty Laundry Podcast, knowing of my sleep irregularity sent me an article that said how the eight-hour straight-through sleep is a relatively new phenomena, Greg may have changed me forever - AGAIN - by sending me a BBC report discussing this in detail. Here is the link to that article because I don't want to drone-on about it if you're not interested but I want to share it with everyone who may be interested because they had/have sleeping problems like me or just think it makes sense as I do. I sleep much better now than I have in recent years and I think it's because I have been sleeping this way recently by accident but now I know it is probably the correct way to do it so I am rekindling the movement. I know with the way our schedules are these days it can be difficult but my schedule is such that I can do the field work and let you know how it goes. Thank you Greg for making me whole again (TNWHS).

I just now got the phone call from my work's Human Resource person and my physical went fine and my start date for the new job is March 16th. That works out pretty well because my current position is as such right now that my weekends have been on actual weekends and that cycle is shifting and the weekend/weekend thing is probably going to end on about the 16th. So, if you require my company on a weekend you may have two more weekends to woo me. I am not sure what my regular "weekend" will be for the new position but whatever two days of the week my weekend will end up being they will stay the same every week. Since I am starting on a Friday my thought is, and this is pure conjecture on my part, my weekend will be Wednesday and Thursday. I will totally lose the three-day weekends every other "weekend." This new job will still allow me to work on our sleep-study.

Filmmaker John Borowski just added a link to the Dirty Laundry Podcast on his website. John is a real filmmaker and even has two films, that I know of, on Netflix (ding). We talk about and ding Netflix so often on the podcast that I think they should change their name to Netflix Ding. The two films of his that I have seen are: H.H. Holmes: America's First serial Killer and Albert Fish. They are both great documentaries and I highly recommend them both. H.H. Holmes and Albert Fish were both serial killers so be warned. Albert Fish was much more disturbing to me because his penchant was for children. I don't know why that seems so much worse to me because a life is a life but children usually haven't had time to become a-holes yet maybe? We are ironing out the details of when John will be on the podcast but it looks like probably the end of March - I should be well-rested by then because my new first/second sleep study will be a month old by then. He is working on a new film about another mass-killer named Carl Panzram. Check out John's site to see how you can become a producer or a contributor... "Dirty Laundry Podcast" is already going to appear on the closing credits.

It seems like I am entering the period of my podcasting and blogging life that will be known in the history books as my "Dark Period." I have always been fascinated by the minds of serial killers and we talk about it on the podcast a lot lately and Cha Cha thinks people are interested in these people because we want to know how to recognize these people so we can avoid them. I. however, have always been interested how people are so different and I accept people for their differences and eccentricities provided they don't encroach on other people's differences and eccentricities. It seems that John has the same fascination that I do and I look forward to discussing that with him live in Kajunkles Studio soon.

Why is my inner-voice always screaming?

Alrighty, I am getting heavy-eyed and my body is telling be that it is time for second sleep so I had better listen. Supposedly our bodies "tell" us stuff all the time but we usually ignore them. The only time I really listen is when it tells me it's hungry and that's the one I should try to ignore. Why can't it tell me it wants carrots and apples instead of cookies and cake and pizza all the time? I would just ignore that part anyway. Make sure you listen to the podcast - I think it's a pretty good one. We are starting to get into a groove and people are wanting to be guests. I received an email back from another person that I wanted to be on and he is very excited to be on the podcast. It is one of the ones that MADYM will get producer credit for because she "hooked-me-up." You'll have to listen to the MADYM episode of the DLP again to guess who it is (I think that was last-week's).

Thank you for spending a few moments with me during my sleep recess or half-time... I need to come up with a cool name for that period of time between my two sleeps. I appreciate you being here so I keep doing this...I need to do it. I am a Serial Blogger and Serial Podcaster...you are probably helping me so I don't focus my obsessions where they don't belong. You are making it so I channel it so I only hurt people's ears and eyes (podcasts and blogs). Have a great Leap Year Day Eve! TTTT...MITM (now entering the second-half).

The Cure for Seven Years Bad Luck!

Happy Leap Year Week!!! We get an extra day this week but there are only seven days in the week how does that work? I guess it's not really leap week because the week stays the same but it is leap year because we get an extra day. I am starting to get suspicious because I have always been taught that nothing is for free and you don't get nothin' for nothin' so what is the price for these, so-called, extra days?

Did you watch the big event last night on television? Can you believe all that happened? I was amazed that it was even on. That Donald Trump doesn't give a crap about anybody or who/what he's up against he just puts it out there. I am not going to tell you who got "fired" because some of you may have been watching other shows where people stroke egos other than Trumps!

I am multi-tasking this morning while writing the blog. Yesterday Cha Cha and I interviewed Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson for the Dirty Laundry Podcast and I am editing it now while blogging. I think you'll really like the show especially if you don't know much about the H.H. Holmes' serial murders back in the turn of two centuries ago. I must say that I over-studied the topic and I would have liked the show much more had I not become a near-expert on the subject. My main emphasis in college was news journalism and knowing so much ahead of time really takes all the fun and surprises out of life sometimes. Unless you know everything about H.H. Holmes I think you'll really like the podcast this week. It isn't up yet as I am writing this (10AM Monday 2/27) but it will be up by this afternoon.

I just got back from my physical for my new job. Everything went well but I knew it would.

IKEA's CEO showing-off products

Cha Cha and I went to IKEA Saturday and we took the Fiat so we couldn't buy too much. We still managed to fit $300 worth of stuff into the tiny green booger. If we didn't have the convertible we never would have gotten that full-length mirror into the car. While watching Cha Cha hunt the Serengeti look for all of the things she couldn't live without I conducted my own field studies of IKEA. Firstly, you can shop at IKEA with no arguments if there are no children with you and as long as you follow your master like a puppy. Secondly, IKEA makes Epcot look like amateur-ville as far as all of the countries being represented and you actually get better souvenirs for your money. There are A LOT of beautiful people and there are a lot of very non-beautiful people there. One moment I would feel like a pig next to Brad Pitt and then the next moment I felt like a George Clooney Sweater at the ugliest sweater contest. I love me some diversity. I know, however, that I was among the most considerate of all the hundreds there - nobody says "excuse me" or "pardon me" or thank-you"... just me! I also discovered that they actually have different pillows for the different ways you sleep. They have pillows for back sleepers and side sleepers and stomach sleepers but no pillows for non-sleepers or sleep walkers. Sleeper prejudice. Pillow cases, however, have learned to live together in harmony....one type of pillow case for every kind of pillow....POWER TO THE COVERS!!!!

There was an incident while unloading our shopping cart. Cha Cha slammed the mirror next to the side of the shopping cart and shattered it; luckily it was all wrapped in plastic. What happens when you break a mirror in a leap year month? I cannot even imagine what kind of bad luck you get there; it starts with seven years just for a regular break so now multiply it by probably 100 I would imagine. I was not going to let that happen to Cha Cha - mainly because that bad luck would probably effect me as well. I grabbed the mirror and the receipt and headed back in through the out-door. I made my way to the customer service area and when I got there the big "now being served" sign was on #22. The next number coming out of the dispenser was in the 80's and the people sitting there looked like all of the movies that show an immigration office or an unemployment office in New York. I was not going to wait so I took the mirror and my receipt and walked back to where the mirrors were and I switched the mirrors and walked back to the car. I am not really sure how I feel about what I did but there was already one broken mirror when I returned so no he had a friend. I was willing to risk 700 years of bad luck and I did have a receipt. I may have shop-lifted (okay, maybe I made part of this up...just in case the IKEA police read this). Even for 10 years in prison I still would save 690 years of bad luck - risk vs. reward!

I ain't takin' bad luck lying'down!

We then ate at Joe's Crab Shack. That was nice and fairly uneventful but when we sat down all of the wait-staff started dancing around us like it was an Osmond Family Reunion. Our waiter was doing the Cotton-Eyed Joe or some crazy backward dance and then I realized they must have recognized Cha Cha. The Cha Cha Slide was blaring out of speakers everywhere and they were all doing the Cha Cha Slide. It's weird being married to a podcasting sensation celeb like Cha Cha sometimes.

Well, the editing is coming to an end so I will wrap this up too and it may be ready for you to listen to on iTunes or at that Podomatic link. Have a great day and thank you, as always, for reading this and listening to the podcast; it's like charity - you can write it off on your taxes I think. TTTT...MITM (ut...that's Swedish for out)

Crabby-Ass Friday Snow Blog

Hey, it's Friday. For me it's my three-day weekend. This may be my last three-day weekend as while I was sleeping I got the call that I got the job I applied and interviewed for last week. It is contingent on a physical but that shouldn't be an issue. I will either start on March 1st or March 16th depending on what they want to do as far as switching my job classifications. The new position doesn't allow for the three-day weekends every other week; I guess the extra money will make up for that.

We got dumped on with snow over night. we are overdue and no matter what happens for the rest of the winter I doubt that we'll get as much for the season as we got all last year. It turns out that today is garbage pick-up day and I just saw that the garbage truck passed up our trash pick up becasue some A-Hole is snow blowing the neighbor's driveway and he parked in the street right in front of our garbage cans so the truck didn't see them and drove right buy. I am half-tempted to go out and place the cans right in front of this dudes mini-van just to make myself feel better. So many people are thoughtless morons - can you tell I only got three hours of sleep? Seriously, now I have to either move all of the trash back into the garage for another week or make the regular garbage man take our recycling as regular trash. That's irresponsible to the planet so I suppose my garage will just have to stink for another week with extra trash. I may move it over more in front of the neighbor's house who had the inconsiderate jag park in front of my trash for the week.

I heard that Jennifer Aniston got a star one The Hollywood Walk of Fame. I don't mean to take anything away from her honor but I always remember it was a big deal to have this honor bestowed on an actor. It always seemed like the stars that received their star were at the ends of their career and it was like being inducted into some kind of Hall of Fame or something. I am probably wrong and it probably really comes down to money and paying somebody to perform this ceremony for you. Congratulations Jen!

Apparently I was WAY wrong!

Does anybody remember any of the songs in that movie That Thing You Do? I know one of the songs is right on the tip of my tongue.

As you can probably tell I am in a foul mood, I need more sleep  methinks. I think I am just disillusioned about the whole Hollywood walk of Fame and it is going to change the way I view life. It looks like The Olsen Twins have stars - they were in like one television series and maybe one or two forgettable movies. I just went and checked and there are a bunch of stupid members of this Walk of Stupidity - Charlie Tuna? Rugrats? It seems like you just have to pay for a star. maybe I should see about getting Dirty Laundry Podcast a star - that would be just as stupid as some of these others.

I am either going to go back to bed or go clean the driveway and move the trash cans in front of the neighbors house. I hope you're in a better mood than I am and have a great weekend. I don't know why I let the actions of one thoughtless jerk ruin my whole outlook - I think the lack of sleep is about 30% to blame. Thank you for letting me vent - I appreciate it. TTT?...MITM (out to seek revenge on the world) TA!

Can Chickens Dance with Sunglasses on?

I can barely keep my eyes open but that may make for a better blog. Maybe I will accidentally hit keys to type something good when I don't try so hard?

Did you know that at one time they made sunglasses for chickens? Apparently chickens become cannibals when they see blood. By putting sunglasses on chickens back in the 1940's  - 1950's they would not be able to see when another chicken was bleeding becasue they could not detect color so they wouldn't peck a wounded chicken to death. I just thought that was a weird fact so I knew I had to share it with you.

As we get more and more guests scheduled for upcoming Dirty Laundry Podcasts the show is requiring a lot more work. The research and other show prep is taking a lot more time and I love it! For the upcoming show - with Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson - I had to read a book. I cannot remember the last time I sat down and read an entire non-electronic-type book. I guess I can really make the time to do that if I want to. I have read a lot of on-line stuff and a lot of magazines and newspapers but to read a book...I cannot even remember when I read an entire book from cover to cover. I am kind of embarrassed by that since I love to write so much. We got our DLP business cards yesterday. Nothing spells success like having business cards I guess.

I drank a lot of Diet Mt. Dew yesterday and I am not sure if I like to drink something is the same color coming out as it was going in.  Maybe I should have worn chicken sunglasses.

Albert Pujols is not as big a deal in California as he was in Missouri it appears. The St. Louis Cardinals wanted to refer to Pujols as "The Man" but he asked them not out of respect for former St. Louis Cardinal Stan 'The Man" Musial. The Los Angeles or Anaheim or California angels started their marketing campaign with Pujols as the focal point with billboards... calling  Pujols "El Hombre" (The Man). Pujols, apparently, is not happy with the moniker but in La La Land you don't get a say I guess Albert. Get used to it!

Supposedly we in the MIDDLEwest are supposed to get slammed (TWSS) tonight and tomorrow by several inches of snow. we have been very fortunate this year and if we have to get all of it at one time right before Spring arrives I am cool with that. I would rather not get it but I wasn't registered to vote in that election so I guess I have to take whatever I get.

The Academy Awards are this weekend. I am not going to watch it. It's ridiculous and way too long. I am perfectly happy waiting until the next morning to see who won.

I have to stop because I am literally, okay maybe not quite literally, falling asleep. sorry to cut it so short (TWSS) but I have to close my baby blues that are greenish-brown. Have a great day and if you hear an Earthquake it is probably my snoring - I apologize ahead of time for my nasal transgressions. Thank you for being here and for listening to the podcast. make sure to like both Matt In The Middle and Dirty Laundry Podcast on Facebook so I can bug you even more efficiently than I already do! TTTT...MITM zzzzzz-ing out)!

How About Fish with Retsyn?

Quit staring at me already - I'll have a carrot instead

Boy, I sure am sluggish today. This whole Mardi Gras thing is wearing me out already.

I was being Matt About Town yesterday and I drove by White Castle and craved fish. I drove by Burger King and craved fish. I drove by Wendy's and I craved fish. I drove by McDonald's and craved double fish. What in the Helser was going on yesterday and me craving fish? Proud of myself I did not stop any any of these culinary concentration camps (patent/trademark/copyright) because I am convinced that I can lose the 25 pounds I have recently put back on. I soon realized that I had The Catholic Church and whichever other religions still "outlaw" meat this time of year. Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal back when religions were beginning and really the main staples were grains, fruits, vegetables and fish. I don't think they really ate much meat, in comparison to today, anyway did they? Ironically, when I drove by Long John Silver's I did not crave fish. Maybe their stupid advertising is subliminally working on me and it wouldn't at LJS because they always advertise fish. I love fish but don't really need it deep fried right now.Now we're going to have to watch and listen to all of those stupid fish commercials through lent.

For some reason the other day an old commercial got stuck in my head. Maybe it's withdrawal because I very seldom watch commercials anymore but for some reason I feel compelled to include them on Dirty Laundry Podcast - what a hypocrite I am. Anyway, and I have no idea what made me think of it, I started thinking about the old Certs commercials. Do they even make Certs anymore? It was not really Certs I was thinking of so much rather it was Retsyn. Firstly, what the hell is/was Retsyn and secondly if I don't have any Certs how an I getting my recommended daily allowance (RDA) of Retsyn? I am fairly certain that I am Retsyn deficient. That explains a lot.

I am totally jonsein' for retsyn

I look forward to recording the podcast every week but I am particularly excited to record this week's show. Maybe I should be alarmed to spend time with Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson given how much we attribute to genetics these days but we all have to die of something. Someone could slip right into The Agitator spot and nobody would ever be the wiser. For those who want to be a guest on the podcast you had better speak-up soon because we have quite a few people who are coming up: a big-time filmmaker, some more ghost hunters, a few more authors....and you?

If I do come up mysteriously missing I hope one of you Columbo's will get to the bottom of it for me. Maybe a student from UCLA could solve the mystery - specifically one of the recipients of the Shera and Peter Falk Lt. Columbo Memorial Scholarship. Peter Falk's estate just donated $3 Million to The University of California so start this scholarship. I think that's pretty cool. It will first be awarded to five students entering UCLA in 2012 and will focus on aiding undergraduates studying: music, those with disabilities and military veterans.

Which way is the student center?

I have not yet heard back on the job I interviewed for Friday. Remember the old days when we applied for jobs and then interviewed and then waited months and months to hear anything? Now, with the way everything is so immediate: the internet. iPods, laptops, on-demand television..., I cannot even wait three business days without worrying I didn't get the job. I have come to expect to know everything right now. I am not sure if that is a bad thing or a good thing. I will be disappointed if I don't get the job but it won't be as bad as last time if I hadn't gotten hired as this time I have a job. I know several people out there who are still without jobs and I totally sympathize - be patient...it will happen for you soon.

I hope it didn't inconvenience you that I blogged so late today but I the Retsyn-imbalance has got me thrown-off a bit. I cannot promise I will blog earlier tomorrow but I will try. Thank you for stopping in here no MATTer what time I blog - I really need to do this regularly for my constitution and I wouldn't do it without you being here - you complete me! Have a great Hump Night (TWSS)! TTTT...MITM (fighting the urge of getting a deep-fried fish sandwich). TA!

Short and Semi-Sweet

Fat Tuesday / Matt Tuesday - almost the same thing again

Happy Matt Tuesday!!!! I am glad I blogged Saturday because I didn't feel so bad that I didn't blog yesterday. I was beat and it was President's Day - I am not really sure what President's Day has to do with anything but it WAS President's Day.

Remember last week I talked about how I think most celebrities are left-handed? Last night, because the news always copies me, I heard a report that 50% of the U.S. Presidents since 1929 have been left-handed. I guess that isn't MOST but I think that is fairly significant. Now that I type it out it is actually about where it should be - 50%!

I just made some oatmeal and put some blueberries and walnuts in it and it tastes like wallpaper paste. Firstly, yes I do know what wallpaper paste tastes like and secondly, I don't know why I don't just go and add more hot water to it!

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. Someone has mentioned that this is the best podcast that they have heard. We have a lot of great shows coming up...next week we have Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson on the show. Yes, he is REALLY Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson. in about three weeks we are going to have a real-life independent film-maker on the show. I am talking about a film-maker who has actual films out and at least two  on Netflix that i know of - not some dude making home movies. I am also working on the Chicago Ghost Hunters Group...they will definitely be on but I am not working really hard on that one yet. This podcast snowball is starting to build up speed and girth - it's really exciting! And many of you have been there since the beginning and we thank you for that.

Sean Timberlake Parker

I believe I heard that Justin Timberlake just bought MySpace and he is turning it into a music streaming service. That's cool because maybe that will be another place besides Podomatic and iTunes to host the podcast, The reason I really thought it was cool, and try to stay with my odd sense of what is cool, is that Justin Timberlake played Sean Parker in The Social Network. Sean Parker was the dude behind Napster which was a music streaming service but that isn't the cool part. Sean Parker owns Spotify which is also a music streaming service so it's kind of like Parker (Timberlake) is competing with Parker (Parker). Maybe cool was too strong of a word; how about odd? funny? interesting? ironic?

Now that it's getting cold my wallpaper paste is starting to resemble more like wet concrete - yum!

I saw a commercial yesterday for a product called Go Joe. It is just about the most ridiculous thing I have ever see. It is a kind of a strap that you suction cup your cell phone to so you can go hands-free. You could just as easily use a Olivia Newton John Let's Get Physical headband and save the money. They say that they are only $10 but then they say +S&H (I assume that's shipping and handling and not Green Stamps). I bet S&H is more that the cost you are paying for the Go Joe.

I have run out of gas so I am going to have to try to get fueled up for tomorrow's blog. Thanks for stopping on in here today - I surely do appreciate it. I hope you listen to the podcast too, Have a great day . TTTT....MITM (out)

This Blog is Fresh (dice in the mirror sold separately)!

Of course this is what the Bel-air Country Club clubhouse looks like

Remember yesterday when I blogged that you never know if I might blog on Saturday? Well, now I know... I am Saturday blogging. My internal clock is so malfunctioned that it doesn't know if I should be awake or asleep. I woke up and my first thought was that I am kinda depressed that I am unattractive. I don't think I am totally hideous and I don't ever think about things like that but something in my subconscious thinks I should be better looking. I am sure waking me at 1:30 in the morning and not allowing me to go back to sleep is the sure remedy for that. I am listening to my computer and it's music on shuffle...why in the hell do I have so much Christmas music on this damn thing? Maybe I should use one of the playlists but I thought shuffle would offer me some variety in the wee hours of the morning.

Hi Dena (my new Subliminal Message AP was used here - how is it working?)

Cha Cha and I went out for dinner last night; we actually sat at the bar and drank and ordered appetizers. We like doing that - sitting at the bar. For some reason we sat in front of the television that was playing golf rather than basketball. They were playing in Bel-Air...I am fighting the urge so much but I know my urges always win-out so I may as well play it now so I can move-on. Here is my urge personified (the full version) - even though you knew what was coming (sort of personified like Frankenstein's Monster in that I just brought it to life there). Maybe golf in Bel-Air put me back in my place? 

Have you ever noticed that most celebrities are left-handed? Pay attention sometime when you see a celebrity writing something or doing something that allows you to determine which hand they favor as their favorite. By my research over the last 14 years I have come to the conclusion that 76.4% of celebrities are left-handed. If you are left-handed and reading this you are A) a celebrity, B) should be a celebrity or, C) are very creative. I, unfortunately, am not left-handed which is why I write a blog and produce a podcast pretending to be creative. I am a left-hand poser! I am hoping that by forcing-it I may one day become left-handed. I should probably start donating plasma again because when I was doing that I did write with my left hand often when I decided to have my right arm tortured for an hour. What else could I do left-handed that I usually do right-handed? If you write/left with your left hand shouldn't it be called lefting rather than writing?

More damn Christmas music! maybe my computer is trying to get me in a better mood? Christmas IS the happiest time of the year, allegedly.

One of my favorite actors of all-time, Charlie Chaplin, is being brought into the spotlight again. Charlie Chaplin, in addition to changing movies/entertainment for all-time, was a very political person behind the scenes - a lot like Cha Cha. His official U.S. CIA (Central Intelligent Agency) and Britain's MI5 domestic intelligence service files have been opened/released. The MI5 shows that the United States asked England to investigate The Little Tramp in the 1950's for being a Communist sympathizer. Whack-job J. Edgar Hoover privately called Chaplin "one of Hollywood's parlor Bolsheviks." The files show that during their investigation they could find no record of his birth anywhere in England so now they are not even sure if we was English. It would be awesome if they found out he was born in Russia! I think I always liked Chaplin, besides for his incredible acting/writing/comedy/directing talent, that he came from literal rags to become one of Hollywood's first mega-stars. I know of a lot of things I did not like about his personal behavior but who am I? There appeared to be more good than bad. The Little Tramp was probably how he felt in his head most of his life I imagine. By the way - Charlie was left-handed!

I think we are going to record the podcast today for a change - it may actually be uploaded for Sunday this week (TWSS). I am now listening to Strawberry Fields Forever and do you know what I am thinking? Paul McCartney is left-handed! I have a real obsession tendency - a right-handed trait, no doubt.

I think it's time for me to call this a wrap. My eyelids are heavy so I am going to try to sleep for a little while. I finally got Cha Cha to get a copy of her birth certificate yesterday and I am going to have to drag her to the post office this morning to apply for her passport. I hope nothing happens to her in Cancun becasue it's going to look like I was behind it since I am the ramrod (TWSS) behind her getting her proper documentation. With all of the passport work I have done lately - me getting a U.S. passport without even being a U.S. citizen,  allegedly, maybe they should put me on the Chaplin case. Me and the many departments of state in the world are becoming old nemeses or nemesi - both are accepted pluralizations of nemesis. Stick that in your Words With Friends and smoke it! TTTT (when you listen to our Dirty Laundry). Thank you for being here and have an awesome day...MITM (out) TA!

Somebody's Been Reading MY Blog and They're still Here!

I just logged onto here and saw that I didn't even title yesterday's blog. I usually don't add a title because I don't really know what I am going to write when I sit down to write this so I certainly cannot title it until after I know what it contains. I am usually just as surprised to read the blog as you are. I hope I remember to add a title to this one.

My weekend has finally begun. I get tonight and tomorrow night off. I am very tired right now because I got home about four hours ago and then went back for an interview about two hours ago. After that I went over to see if i could get a copy of Cha Cha's birth certificate but they said I can only get one for myself and/or my birth children. You had better change the name on your room reservation from Cha Cha to The Agitator MADYM...I just checked the odds at the MGM Grand in Vegas and the odds of Cha Cha getting her birth certificate and passport in time for Cancun are now at 350:1. I plunked $1000 down so the now it's almost a lock since I have a vested interest (two vested interests) in her not getting her passport. Come on Rupert Holmes Aggie needs a new pair of flip flops!

Some blogs ago I mentioned that Chicago is the most segregated city in the country. A new Associated Press report now says that Chicago is the most corrupt city in America. How come Illinois gets all the crappy ones and Salt Lake City gets the good ones?

Don't play that innocent crap with me Locks!

What is the deal with Goldilocks? Is that her last name or her first name or only profiling and Goldilocks was neither her first or her last name? also, why does the story always portray her as a victim? She broke into somebody's house (breaking and entering), she ate their porridge (theft), she broke one of their chairs (vandalism or destruction of public property if the bears actually lived in a zoo), and she slept in their bed (trespassing). she should be in the pokey but I guess she was a minor but Mr. & Mrs. Locks or Goldilocks or whatever their last name is should be held responsible as they didn't keep an eye on their brat and didn't teach her to leave things alone that don't belong to her.

I guess I just flew by there and didn't say much about my interview. I was the only one there which is probably a good sign, I knew most of the people interviewing me which is good. I was about 15 minutes early because that is how I usually roll when Cha Cha is not involved and there was nobody before me or after me. I was told I would find out next week and I would start right away should I be the selected candidate. I don't have to give two week's notice because it's working for the same "company" and it's just another rung up the ladder. I feel pretty confident but just confident enough - not over-confident. can you really be over-confident? It's like being too competitive - it isn't possible. To anyone reading this who has a job interview today or ever (but especially today) GOOD LUCK....I'm rooting for you!

Fabio is home from school day. Lincoln's Birthday or President's Day is Monday and today must be President's Day Eve Eve Eve. Or maybe just teacher's screw-off day teacher's institute. So much for going out for lunch in this town today. all the kids are off and all of the teachers are "institooting" or whatever so they will all be where I would go and I vant to be alone every now and again.

I seriously cannot keep my eyes open any longer. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest...most of this was a tremendous burden and would have caused me great night-terrors (day-terrors for though I guess). I appreciate you being here and listening to the podcast. I may blog tomorrow if the mood strikes me since I have an actual weekend again. YAWN!!!!!! TTT?....MITM (easily about to fall asleep- MATTress Institute. TA! (Oh yeah, I still have to title this blog....scroll up now....)

They definitely weren't undercover last night

Hey, it's Thursday. It's also February16th which is supposed to be about one of the coldest days of the year in the MIDDLEwest but it's going to be almost 50 degrees today. Still not convinced of Global Warming? I didn't even realize that I didn't blog yesterday until last night when I thought to myself, "hey self, did you blog today? Well, no other self I don't think I did blog today did you blog today? Do I have to blog everything around here?" It went on from there but it got really nasty and I am fairly certain that "self therapy" is just a MATTer of time.

Last night I went to Chicago with MADYM. It seemed kind of weird going out with another woman without Cha Cha there but this sanctioned by Cha Cha or it would not have occurred. We went to The Book Cellar in Chicago (Lincoln Square if that means anything to anybody) to hear some book readings but I was going more to meet Jeff Mudgett who is the author of a book called Bloodstains. He is going to be on the podcast next week and I thought it good to get to know him a bit. We had a great time (I did at least - I guess she can speak for herself this weekend when she, hopefully, will FINALLY be on the Dirty Laundry Podcast. She has been the most elusive guest in Dirty Laundry history. Hopefully I didn't just jinx it. MADYM is now one of our producers of the show. Last night she was knocking down potential guest after podcast guest. She was the Goose to my Maverick.... she set 'em up and I knoced em down! For you people in/from Chicago we talked to former producers for Jonathon Brandmeier and Garry Meier (Brandmeier and Meier were, and are again, radio personalities in Chicago). Brandmeier also had a national late night talk show that lasted about three weeks it seemed. We heard some funny stories and one of them agreed to be on the podcast. We also spoke to one of the "Assistant Organizers" of CGHG. I know I don't have to tell you that CGHG is Chicago Ghost Hunters Group but I will tell you anyway because that's what college taught me and what good is a journalism degree if you can't use it in your blog every now and again? Anyway, he sounded very excited to be on the podcast too. Just to think all of this started over a Uni-brow (Unibroue). Now you will have to listen to this upcoming podcast to find out what that means! It was a good night and I hope MADYM comes on the show this weekend but she is kinda pod-shy I think so we will decide - we may have to ply her with wine - I have honey if that help (inside joke unless she is on the podcast).

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This evolutionary update just in - - - -  chimpanzees are not monkeys - they are apes.

On the way to pick up MADYM I was listening to WSPY radio in the car. They played a sound byte of a movie and the first caller who called in won something. I didn't pay attention to what the prize was but I recognized the audio-clip as a scene from the film 48 Hours so I called the 800 number my car told me to call and it started ringing. I answered the question correctly and now I am getting a The Biggest Loser prize-pack sent to me. I have never watched that show but I guess I am getting a dvd and a t-shirt and a weekend get-away with Jillian Michaels (at least I know who she is)... I am not really sure what all is in the prize-pack but I may have to re-prize it on the podcast. I think re-prizeing is a whole new thing I may start (not to be confused with reprise). Do you think the prize-gods know that I won some Girl Scout Cookies on a radio (WDKB) trivia thing about a month ago and now I needed to work my cookies off? Damn you radio-gods....damn you all to hell!!!

I am trying to read my blog notebook and it is very confusing. I have like three notebooks I usually carry (I don't have a pocket protector though). I have one that I write "blog notes" in. I have one that I write "podcasting notes" in and I have another that I am not really sure what I use it for but it is just the stuff I need to remember but now that I am MIDDLE-aged I need a prompter and the notebook has to suffice. I guess it's on ready alert stand-by or something. If the podcast or the blog ever take-off and we have money I think I may need to get a life-assistant (like a production assistant only for life). We now have three producers for Dirty Laundry (Jay Cole, The Lost Sock and MADYM - in addition to Greg Weindorf who is our DLP Media Critic) so maybe it is time for a Pod-Duction Assistant (PDA)? We have quite a staff for "a pod about nothing." Do you like how I didn't make any staff jokes - I guess by me pointing out that I didn't make a joke I am kinda making a joke though - never mind.

Tomorrow is my job interview. It's within the same "company" that I work for now but it means more money and some of the other things that go with moving up. By the by just because I put "company" in quotation marks does not mean I work for the CIA. I am excited and nervous. I am always nervous for stuff like that - I think being nervous is a good thing so I try to stay nervous and paranoid as much as possible in everyday life. If anybody else has an interview coming up (and you know who you are) good luck to you tomorrow too! If you're not the one I am specifically blogging about you're thinking - "how in the Helser does he know I have an interview tomorrow?" THE GREAT AND POWERFUL BLOG KNOWS ALL!!!!!

Okay I have to get some stuff done and get some sleep. I got in very late last night and then did a few things so I stayed up way too long and I am sleepy and don't have to work for several hours. Have a great day. I am really happy you stopped in, as always. If you're in the MIDDLEwest enjoy MIDDLEwestern Global Warming Day. TTTT after my interview....MITM (out to scout my route of doubt). TA!

R-A-M-B-L-I-N'.... RAMBLIN'!

Happy Valentine's Day - what kind of a phogna bologna day is Valentine's Day? I am heading over to Cha Cha's work later this morning to take her to Bien Trucha for lunch....nicely played fake holiday, nicely played. I will have been up for about 24 straight when lunch is over because Fabio's game last night went into double overtime so I got home pretty much just in time to go to work.

I remember when I was in college and I first heard Whitney Houston and saw her first video on MTV (back when the "M" still stood for "Music" and not "Miscellaneous Crap"). I was instantly a fan of hers mainly because I thought she was smokin' hot because that's how I decided what videos were good back in the infancy of videos. I know she had her problems in recent years but I think she was a decent person. I am sorry that she is dead but I have to say that I am getting tired of hearing the song "I Will Always Love You." I bet the movie The Bodyguard is on this coming weekend if it hasn't already been on. Her dying and hearing that her greatest hits album is now selling like hotcakes, just like Amy Winehouses' music did right after she died, is kind of sad. Maybe, in Whitney's case, if she were a little more appreciated while she was alive she wouldn't have had such a tumultuous latter part of her life. Support the artists you like by purchasing their work if you can because, just like in the podcasting and blogging fields, these people just long for your love and approval.

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up and ready for your approval. we've already gotten a lot of new listeners since the podcast was uploaded yesterday. I am always happy when people find their way over. I hope it was good enough that they will come back for more.

The Grammy Awards were on the other night. I heard Bruno Mars was fantastic and I was happy to hear that Adele won six Grammy's - all of the ones she was nominated for. Even though she had been getting fairly decent air play I notice that since The Grammy's I cannot turn the radio on without hearing one of her songs. I hope they don't over-play her music so we get sick of it because I think she is an incredible talent.

PennyWise,  Guyliner Foolish

My eyelids are very heavy. That sure is a weird expression. I would say it is more like they are sticking together than they are heavy because how can your eyelids really get heavy? Maybe if I put too much eye shadow and eyeliner and fake lashes and junk on them to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show or something they would get heavy but I am sans guyliner. Must not close eyes....phony baloney holiday to observe. Maybe my eyelids need to get on a weight-loss program. Weight Watchers for Eyes!

Remember how just a week ago or so those Super Bowl commercials were cool? I saw one of the ones yesterday that I liked during the game and I found that they are not quite as good as they are during the Super Bowl. I guess they are pretty clever to get us to watch them during that game because not may people DVR the Super Bowl I bet; you kinda like to watch it live because sporting events don't seem to be as exciting after the fact. I have recorded games many time, even ones I was at so I could watch them when I got home, and I seldom, if ever, watch them.

I think I need to stop blogging because I am rambling but I am afraid that if I do and I sit down I will fall asleep and then I will miss Valentine's Lunch with Cha Cha (soon to be at your local Red Box). For the remainder of the program please turn your hymnals to the Dirty Laundry Podcast and get yourself a little religion...with a Cha Cha and Agitator twist, of course. Tomorrow night I am going to Chi-Town, some people call it Chicago I call it Chi-Town, with one of my gal pals to visit with our podcast guest coming up in two weeks (week of the 26th). Do big whoop - just Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson. If that won't get you to listen to the podcast (in two weeks) nothing ever will. He has proof that his Great Great Grandfather, who was definitely America's first serial killer, was also Jack the Ripper and we will talk to him about that for you (and for my nosy self, of course). I am continuing to ramble so I can stay awake. I will let you go and take my chances but if I am not at Bien Trucha for lunch start without me. Thank you for helping me make it to my goal of making my lunch date - I really appreciate you, as always. TTTT...MITM (out like a light that isn't out until this afternoon). TA!

My Women's Clothing Line Already Has a Name!

It is Monday but it totally feels like a Tuesday.

Are Dutch people cheap or just practical? What is the deal behind "Dutch Treat?" I don't know about the Dutch other than the little boy who stuck his finger in the dike (don't worry I have some restraint). That was specifically Holland I think but that is Dutch right?

I have a great name for a line of women's clothing. The main problem is that I do not have a line of women's clothing to name. I can barely dress myself so I doubt that I am even qualifies to design dogs clothes let alone women's clothes. Of you are a clothing designer or know a clothing designer who is looking for a sure- fire name that will sell any line of clothing please let me know. Actually, the name is so good that I think I could design some crappy clothes and the name alone would sell the clothing. My women's clothing line would look a lot like a bunch of teddies I think though. There's nothing wrong with that though right guys? Maybe more like camisoles.

Are Cobb salads named for Ty Cobb? It isn't a very appealing name. Why would they name a salad after the orneriest sports figure of all time?

The Dirty Laundry Podcast is up now. We had a former NFL player and a preacher in Kajunkles Studio yesterday. I will let you know when it is ready for your inspection.

Two more days until I am going to The Book Cellar in Chicago with our next podcast guest to meet the podcast guest after her. This podcast thing is really engulfing my life.... Good thing I love doing it. There's more room in the Dirty Laundry Mobile or just meet us there. I am sorry to inform you that if you are going to see Cha Cha she will not be there; she so cherishes her privacy (that is code for she would rather get her hair done).

I am writing this on my iPod so I am not sure how long it is (TWSS). I won't post it until I open it on the computer and see the length (not gonna do it).

I have to get ready for Fabio's last basketball game of the season other than the tournament next week but I am not really certain about how that works or even where it is.  Have a great night and thank you for stopping by here today. TTTT....MITM (out)

So Sue Me...I'm an American!

Why are everybody else's blue?

I guess my diatribe about not being an American is over. USA loves me, it really loves me. If you haven't figured it out I received my United States of America Passport yesterday... now I have to find something else imaginary to blog about.... Drat. It is still cool that it says Germany in the "place of birth" area on my passport I guess.

Today is my MIDDLE day off of the three day weekend. I really wish I didn't have any days off because my entire sleep-pattern changes and I am totally messed-up. However, when I am working, I wish it was my day off. I am not sure if that falls into the "can never make me happy" category or the "grass is always greener" category or the "what in the Hell is wrong with you" category. I sort of become like a mental amoeba. I was supposed to make a call last night but fell asleep - Sorry Jen. Then I woke up very late for you mortals and was up all night which was cool because Weird Al was on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Then I read my serial killer book, Bloodstains, in the quiet house for awhile. That's all well and good but when I need to go back to work Sunday night my system will be out of kilter and then that will be tough. I would just rather work like five-and-a-half hours seven days a week than eight hours five days a week. I am sure if I did I would have a problem with that too though. Probably the "can never be happy" category.

Seriously, How can Gary Busey be bankrupt? He just filed Chapter 7. He says most of it is because of: the IRS, UCLA Medical Center and some lady who sued him for $1 Million for accidentally elbowing her in an airport while he was rushing to a plane. I guess that last one sucks and is part of being a celebrity because I know I have accidentally bumped into people in airports and luckily I am unrecognizable and not totally drunk (allegedly). The other two suck too but we all have to deal with the taxes and most of us are fighting with insurance companies every day about medical bills. He was on Celebrity Apprentice with that dude with the weird hair who just recently cost Mitt Romney the election by endorsing him. Maybe The Donald is Gary's financial advisor - hasn't he filed for bankruptcy once or twice too? Busey was also on Celebrity Wife Swap and maybe the "Angelic Powers" he spoke of did lie to him after-all. I think "Angelic Powers" may be code for "voices in his head." I was actually surprised that he is married. Filing for bankruptcy seems to be a way out that most of us don't want to take but it doesn't seem to have hurt Trump and I am sure Busey will be fine too Busey. Incidentally, The Buddy Holly Story is still a great movie Gary! Can't celebs just talk theaters into showing their old movies and go there and sign autographs before and after the movie? That's what I would do if I were Busey...what theater would say no? A Point Break / Buddy Holly Story double-feature with Busey signing autographs between the movies? My bill is in the mail Gary!

It is always so much easier solving other people's problems than it is solving your own isn't it?

Can you believe that we actually share the same Fridays this week (this is actually like my Saturday kind of but then Saturday is second Saturday). I think Cha Cha has been having a very busy and difficult time at work lately and I think we are going out for dinner tonight (probably more for drinks). I am going to suggest Wok N Fire in St. Charles. I have never been there before though I have peeked in the door twice after I had already eaten somewhere else. Who in the Hell does that? ME! It's kinda cold and snowy out so maybe we will stay closer to home but who knows? I have heard of a place in Sycamore that supposedly has really good steaks but that was from someone who works there and they have a vested interest in me going there don't they? Maybe I should be the first one I know to go there and start spreading the word. I haven't done a YELP review in a really long time but I could do that at Wok N Fire too couldn't I? Communism is probably so much easier when they tell you where to go and what to do and what to think.

I guess that just about wraps it up for today since I began doing bills while I was writing this and now I have stuff spread out all over the desk and the papers are starting to engulf the keyboard. Even though I pay most of the bills on-line there are still SOOOO many papers. I have a hard time to decide to go completely paperless on all of the bills because I still do like the hard copies to clutter up the house and it's a constant reminder to pay the bills when the mailbox keeps spewing them out. I really should go paperless on every one of them but I am worried I would forget to pay them because I still forget sometimes when bills are all over the place. I am just a paranoid person and that will never change. At least by being paranoid I have never been raped so paranoia has served its purpose for me.

Have a great Friday / weekend and remember that I am going to Chicago Wednesday if you wanna go. TTT?...MITM (offen sie) leave them with one of my favorite cheery songs of all time Roz TA!

I am 100% a Believer in Ghosts as of Today!

Not the ghost that spoke to me this morning

It's my Saturday morning of a three-day weekend....jealous? I am going to start this out by saying that I 100% believe in ghosts and their abilities to contact us from the other side. I never ever thought I would say that but I have pretty good evidence, at least in my mind, that something/someone spoke to me from the other side this morning and between 7:31 and 7:32 AM is when I was given words "from beyond" that I became a believer. I don't know if "ghosts" is the politically correct term as I do not want to offend them now that I know they exist. I cannot tell you more than that on the blog, rather I choose not to, but if you ask me in person I will tell you and give you goosebumps. I was pretty close to believing when we went on that paranormal investigation last summer (I was about 72.3% convinced then but now I am 100% convinced that spirits can contact us from the great beyond and that I was contacted this morning). Ghosts don't only speak at night - I have always wondered why ghost hunters always go hunting at night.

Now how do I follow that for the rest of the blog? I really don't know what to blog about now because my mind is totally consumed by this new-found revelation for me. I really hope the "ghost" didn't follow me home. Don't tell Cha Cha because she will be really pissed if I went and got our house haunted. I need to go get some sage to smoke burn. I am going to try to move on but you will understand if I wonder like a spirit without a body today I hope.

Now does anybody want to go with me to the reading of Bloodstains in Chicago February 15th? I really doubt it... alone again naturally!

I am doing laundry (I'm not even going to link the Dirty Laundry Podcast here) and I just started a load and put one in the dryer about ten minutes ago. I heard the dryer going a few moments ago and it just stopped. It has been running for ten minutes and just stopped! I am kind of afraid to go down and see what the issue is. Should I post this before I go down there so there is evidence of what is going on because if I go down and meet a weird fate nobody will ever know any of this. I know I have a knack for the dramatic but so far in this blog everything I have written is true. Our dryer does have a sensor that automatically shuts the dryer off when the items are dry but there is no way things got dry in ten minutes. They are heavy rugs and they were banging around a lot so I bet they just pushed the door open trying to escape. The dryer has a song it plays when it is done drying and that song isn't playing so I bet that is what happened. I am going down there without posting this with the guess that is what happened. Maybe I will be back or maybe I will be gone forever....wish me luck!

I have been taking too many right turns lately

That's what it was so I just hung the rug in the shower to dry...way too heavy and way too wet still. Just like me.

I worked-out yesterday afternoon after a looooooong break from doing so. I forgot how much better I feel about myself when I work-out. I think I am back in the saddle again and will begin doing it again regularly. I have been doing very little physically since I started my "new" job that isn't that new anymore. I have made so many excuses to myself and could rationalize every one of them for why I couldn't work-out. My weight has started to creep back up because while not working-out I also started eating like crap again. I am so weak. Spiritually, however, I believe I am now a changed MATT!

I am really tired and have to go to sleep...gee I wonder what I will dream about? Let me know if you want to go to Chicago to meet America's first serial killer's Great Great Grandson and hear about his Great Great Grandfather's killings as well as to find out why he may also have been Jack The Ripper. Don't worry...I am in with the other side now so as long as you're with me you are under my protection. I am not sure if the afterlife works like the mob but I am now a made guy so...fagetaboutit! Thank you for letting me get some of this into cyberspace. I really want to go back and see if the spirit speaks with me again but I am too tired. I have actual evidence that I can show you as far as I am concerned. It doesn't MATTer...I believe and that's good enough for me. TTTT (maybe)....MITM (spiriting out) TA!

My Email Password and PIN are Here - BUT DON'T STEAL THEM!

It is Wednesday right? One more night and my 8-day stint will be over and I will have Th, F, S off. I hope I get to go out with Thelma and Louise because it has been awhile. Maybe we can go to that Wok n Fire or whatever it is called in St. Charles. I am really tired and was so busy yesterday that I did not get to blog. I did, however, get the Dirty Laundry cleaned (uploaded).

I am typing this on the itty bitty keys again so... you know!

I don't know if you listened to last week's Dirty Laundry Podcast but I am going to Chicago next Wednesday (2/15/12) night for a book reading at The Book Cellar. I am looking for at least one accomplice. The reason I am going is to meet Jeff Mudgett. Jeff is going to be on the podcast later this month and I thought it wise to meet him first. Jeff is the Great Great Grandson of America's first serial killer, H.H. Holmes, who he writes about in his book Bloodstains. He also has evidence that this same man was also Jack The Ripper. Any takers? As I mentioned on last week's podcast... What could be more fun than going to the city where The St. Valentine's Day Massacre happened the day after Valentine's Day to meet one of the most evil man in history's descendants? Maybe stopping by one of the most haunted places on Earth where Jeff Mudgett's Great Great Grandfather's "Murder Castle" sat?

It's funny because I am continuing to write this on my computer now and I thought I had written a lot more than I wrote. Those letters on that little iPod screen make it seem like so much more when I am scrolling down over and over.

I am getting pretty tired of hearing about Madonna and the Super Bowl.There was a big football game and Madonna sang and she was pretty good - ENOUGH ALREADY. Why do we have to rehash it for days on end?

I cannot believe how I have nothing in my mind. I knew it was only a MATTer of time before I talked and blogged and podcasted so much that I would have nothing in there eventually. I kept hoping, however,  that new things would keep seeping into there and I would always have at least one thing in there. I kind of thought it was like water that with the ground water and the occasional rain and melted snow the level would always be fairly consistent. It might work in your case but my cup must have a crack in it because it does not runneth over right now. Maybe I should just keep my mouth and typewriter quiet for while until the drought is over. NAH!

Hundreds of emails from the office of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad were leaked on Monday. Syrian Minister of Presidential Affairs Mansour Fadlallah Azzam and Assad's media adviser, Bouthaina Shaaban were among the 78 email accounts that were hacked into. What are the odds that these dudes, along with the other 76 people that had their email accounts hacked into, would all have the same computer/email passwords than I do? I may as well tell you what my password is now since the whole world now knows....my password, the same as these guys', is - get ready to write this down.... 1 2 3 4 5. It used to be my birth date but I figured 1 2 3 4 5 would be much harder to figure out. I am pretty sure that is also the launch code for all of America's warheads, the combination to the safe at Fort Knox and the Pope's ATM PIN. Why do we always call it a PIN "Number" when the "N" stands for "number?" Now Syria is at war and I am sure there was a lot of sensitive information on these high-level Syrian officials' computers. Now I have to change all of my passwords so nobody breaks into my computer and possible make the blog or the podcast entertaining. Do you know what kind of pressure there would be on me if they actually became entertaining? I am not ready for that kind of responsibility.

I hope you are having a nice day as it is getting toward the end. Thank you for deciding to spend a few minutes with me and if you are up for feeling better about yourself and your intellect make sure to listen to the podcast (I won't link it here again because my whoreatude has it's limits - just scroll back up and hit the link there - or go to iTunes). TTTT....MITM (off to pay the water bill). TA!

The Super Blog! (you need to call it "the big blog" though)!

I'm a Tiny Blogger Blogging with iPod!

Though it doesn't excuse the poor content I will preface this by saying that I am typing this on my iPod so I will say the typos are at least attributed to that but if the content stinks that is due to the itsy bitsy teeny weeny little bitty photos of keys that pretend to be a computer keyboard but are really just little tiny whiney lights as well.

The Super Bowl was last night and it was a pretty exciting game. I didn't really care who won and it was nice. I just watched it for the sake of the game and I could be totally impartial to all of the calls. It's funny how they are no bad calls when you don't have a horse in the race. When I have a team I am specifically rooting for in a sporting event there is always at least one bad call that goes against my team (in my opinion)....funny how that happens. It was the first time in several years when I watched the entire game. It may have been because I was playing Words With Friends (mostly with my good buddy Greg so it was the without benefits edition and we were also chatting on the instant message feature). I was also playing Words With Friends with Fabio and he was watching the game with me.... Some good father/son bonding time while Cha Cha was down having good old mother/daughter bonding time with Splenda. Thank you for going with her MADYm (I am no longer capitalizing the M from now on but I will forget I am sure) - that is a long drive by oneself.

Splenda turned 20 years old yesterday. I now have a daughter that is 1/5th of a decade old. I am glad we had her when I was five so that I am only 1/4 decade old. I wish I could have gone down to see her too but Fabio had school and basketball and I had to work. I think I will have to take a road trip down to see her soon myself. Yesterday was day five of eight days in a row... over the hump and just jogging down the home stretch now. 

Tonight Cha Cha and I record the Dirty Laundry Podcast. She was gone yesterday when we usually do it record it and now we are going to have to wait until after Fabio's games tonight. I don't want to get too far off schedule because next week's has to be recorded on Sunday because a couple of guests on the show next week.  It's going to be tough with my work and Cha Cha being exhausted from her trip.

Why do we hear about so many famous people get divorced? I suppose the divorce-rate is the same with famous people than it is with we commoners and we just hear about it but there just seems like a lot of Hollywood divorces. Most of them don't usually surprise me but Katy Perry / Russell Brand surprises me. It doesn't surprise me that they are getting divorced but it reminds me that they ever got married. Not only to each other but I would not picture either of them getting married to anyone for some reason. The divorce makes sense after the marriage (it wouldn't have made sense had they not gotten married though). I like them both so I don't know which one I will go to live with. Usually in a divorce/split it's easy for me to choose sides. One of the two is usually a total useless piece of flesh and it was always inconceivable that he or she could have married someone so nice and wonderful in the first place.

Hey, great news! Fabio's basketball coach is sick! That's not the good news part - the good news part is that today's game is moved to Wednesday so the podcast must go on. They didn't have practice Saturday because he was sick too. I hope that he is not really sick and the immediate scenario in my head which is based on nothing but my imagination (you've read my blog and listened to the podcast enough to know that I always have my own movies and plays and operas going on in there because something has to occupy those hollow walls patent/trademark/copyrights pending) is that a college buddy who now lives in Ohio is drinking buddies with Eli Manning got a couple of Superbowl tickets and he asked Fabio's coach to go to the game. The coach said, "how could I ever pass up a once in a lifetime opportunity like this, of course I will go." So he called in Saturday about practice and they went down Friday night to enjoy all of the Super Bowl festivities and he intended to drive back late last night but it was too late after all of the partying and he stayed there and came back mid-morning today. No harm, no foul and I would have done the same thing.

Sometimes I blog like a nut sometimes I don't

One of the players on the New York Giants, Jason Pierre-Paul, (is anyone else hungry for an Almond Joy all of a sudden?) had his father from Haiti at The Super Bowl. It was the first football game he had ever been too. He is blind and only speaks french. His son had a great game so it was wonderful he could be there. They showed him several times in the audience but I could never really make out where he was sitting but I bet he had a seat close to the field. Why waste a good seat, allegedly, on a person who cannot even see the game though? Just wondering.

Thanks for hanging in there looking for a pay-off - sorry to disappoint you once again. Now that we are doing the podcast in a couple of hours I have to begin the pre-show prep. Yes, believe it or not there is a couple of hours of pre-pod preparation that goes into a show that sounds like it was just thrown-together. You don't really think we really that relaxed and le se fair do you? Okay maybe we are but if I make it sound easy everybody will want to do it. If, for some reason you decide to do your own podcast, let me know and maybe Dirty Laundry Podcast will start our own Podcasting Network - I smell spin-off Greg and Jay! Have a great Monnight and I will blog you again tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (out without proofreading today's blog so be gentle) TA!

Blog DXCVII (wow, that a lot of blogging)

Would they actually call it Bingo or Free Space though?

It's Friday afternoon - hurray for you. I cannot even say what day it is for me because they changed our schedule again and today I will work day three of eight straight and there is only seven days in the week so I think this is Wednesday by those terms. After the eight straight I get three off in a row and that falls into a Thursday, Friday, Saturday off and then I get the next three weekends (your weekends) in a row off (and maybe beyond but I only did the calendar out to the end of the month because I am running out of White Out for my calendar.).

The Superbowl Big Game is this weekend. It is Superbowl Big Game XLVI. Why do they still use Roman numerals? I don't think Romans even still use Roman numerals. Is it supposed to make us believe the players are gladiators? Gladiators were slaves for the most part and these dudes are rich men who are far from slaves. Why did Rome have their own numbers anyway? Were they actually Italian Numerals and Rome was just one of the great powers of the world and decided they needed their own numbering system?

While I was going back to see how many blogs I have written so I could title this blog I saw that Leona Raisin had commented on January 16th's blog and I didn't even see it until now. I began blogging about Words with Friends that day and she mentioned a game she invented and asked me to check it out. Sorry for the delay Leona but I did check it out just now and I like your idea for the game. I am big into trivia and word games and I think you're onto something. Since I have sparked everyone else's interested I will LINK IT RIGHT HERE so they can all check it out. Sorry it took so long Leona....remember I am the guy who never knows what day it is or even if it's AM or PM.

Name's Blog.... Matt Blog

Remember last week or whenever I wrote about maybe not being born? There are new developments in the Curious Case of Matthias Holzhauer (Matthew Helser). I sent in my passport information (wouldn't you think someone who was "born" in another country would already have a passport to get to the country they are in now? - but I digress as usual) and am waiting. I told my "parents" about the story of where they said they recorded my birth in The United States of America and their computers show no record of my birth. They both looked predictably shocked ( the agency has trained them well). My "dad" did some digging into his old papers and found quite a few documents that make me believe that maybe I was actually born or that Dr. Helserstein is much more crafty than I thought. How come after 48 years of these papers missing within a few moments these documents miraculously appear on command? I now have a Department of State Foreign Service of the United States of America Certification of Birth with a raised seal, a United States of America Certification of Citizenship with a photo attached of a very cute three-year-old boy wearing lederhozen (that part is probably really me) with the address where we allegedly lived  - 8723 Emerald Lane in Rockford Illinois (Emerald City is more like it with a cover-up of this proportion), a Report of Birth Abroad of a Citizen of the United States of America and even a United States Army Certificate of Baptism  in addition to the papers that I already had - nicely played Herr Holzhauer, nicely played. NOBODY has this many records of their birth "all of a sudden." I know that I am still a sleeper-cell just waiting for the call that may never come. I am probably a trained blogging machine just waiting to be released on millions of unsuspecting readers. I just called the NPIC (National Passport Information Center) and "Renee" told me just to wait on sending this information into them as it looks like everything is going smoothly. Of course it is... as soon as they saw my name come up in their system I know there was a lot of Jason Bourne-like alarms going off globally and agents have been detached to "handle" me. They are stalling me so I don't go "deep-cover" on their asses. Remember what sleeper-cells are capable of and tread likely Treadstone! Now I know why I never sleep and never know what day or even the time of day it is - the vampire theory was wrong!

Sorry I got off an a tangent - that is so unlike me. In live situations I can see the eyes glazing over and I shut-up - it's part of the training I received as an infant at Sleeper-Cell School I imagine. If you need anything you know how to get ahold of me - the white chalked "X" on the mailbox as usual. Have a great day and weekend as I doubt that I will blog this weekend but I have been trained to be unpredictable so never say never or never say die or some such thing. Thank you for letting me rant. TTT? (whenever I decide to come out of blog hiding again)....MITM (back to deep cover) auf wiedersehen.