A Matt Without a Country!

BOO!!!!!!

I am starting to realize why I liked the movie The Others so much. "Sometimes The world of the dead gets mixed-up with the world of the living;" that's gonna be the title of my autobiography. I believe I may be one of the "the others." There is no record of my birth at the Winnebago County Courthouse. I don't know what I am to do. I have some souvenir-type documents that say I was born but they don't have United States government seals on them so they aren't official. The one that I have printed in German has a yellow stamp, one that looks like one of those S&H Green Stamps or one of the ones that the Brady girls were collecting to get a sewing machine, and a purple ink stamp that says "STANDESAMT HEIDELBERG." Heidelberg is the city I was allegedly "born" in and Standesamt is the German civil registration office that is responsible for recording marriages and deaths and births... As far as I know this is a death certificate? Although it does say "Geburtsurkunde" on the top which means birth certificate but it looks like a cheap piece of paper so maybe it's forged? I am so confused and unborn. Is it also a coincidence that I have been to Frankenstein's castle in Darmstadt, Germany just 40 minutes North of where I was allegedly born? How could I have been so blind? Maybe the eyes that were harvested for me are defective.

I parked at a public parking lot across from what used to be called The Rockford Metro Centre which is where they have concerts and shows and stuff when I began my Quest of the Missing Birth Certificate. I saw The Scorpions there back while I was still in high school. Kind of ironic that I saw a German rock group right next to the place where I found out I was never born even though I had been told that I was born in Germany. Anyway, as I passed The Metro Centre or, whatever it's called today, I remembered a time when I was standing outside of the Centre while I worked at WTVO Channel 17 in Rockford. We were interviewing the General Manager about an upcoming concert they were going to have. We were outside on the sidewalk filming and talking to him when Rick Nielsen of Cheap Trick walked up. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen with my harvested eyes. He was kind of standing behind the guy we were interviewing trying to get into the shot through the reflection of the window. As we would move to try to get him out of the shot he would also move to continue to try to get into the shot. Anyway...there was something creepy and historic for me in that whole area today. On the way there I drove by The Tinker Cottage which was probably only about eight blocks away. The Tinker Swiss Cottage is where Splenda and I went to the paranormal investigation a few months back. Maybe I was actually the one haunting the place and I thought I was one of the ones investigating....curiouser and curiouser.

I also have a document that is called, "Report of Child Born Abroad of American Parents." So now I'm a broad too? Again, this is a form that anyone could easily type-up and sign in blue ink at the bottom. The odd thing about this one is that it is written in English and then has French translations under each of the English words. It is the Rapport de Naissance d'um Enfant ne' a' l'Etranger de Parents Amer'icains. I think I can make out the word infant and parents and Americans but maybe some of my parts are from France. As you can see....I am now obsessed to find the real story of my existence but I will try to move-on though I am very distracted in someone else's mind that is now mine. 

Hey, how did I get signed up and sworn into the United States Army if I didn't have a birth certificate? I smell a conspiracy here. I call shenanigans!

I listened to your President's SOTU (State of the Union) Address last night. I voted for him but I am certain my vote wasn't counted because...you know why! I will vote for him again because what I have seen from the Republican-side during all of their primaries and debates is disgraceful and must be embarrassing for you Americans. Not to mention that many of the people that I know who always vote Republican no matter who the candidate is (I am blogging more specifically about some of my former bosses) are all for keeping the little people down while they step on the MIDDLE class's heads to get whatever they want at whatever the cost to everybody other than them. But I digress...man, being 100% European is so liberating! Anyway, after the SOTU Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels gave the Republican response and said, "One in five men of prime working age, and nearly half of all persons under 30, did not go to work today." I can guarantee we will talk about this on the next Dirty Laundry Podcast. If you have listened to even one of the podcasts you know that this kinda stuff really frosts Cha Cha's cookies and now that I am abroad I will probably be more angry too. Women have kept a great number of American homes (even half-American homes) afloat, including ours, over the past couple of years while their male counterparts have had to seek employment and this jag-bag goes and disrespects women like this?  I don't usually vote by party-lines alone but this year they have made it very easy for me to make a decision. 

bulbous-headed misogynist -  allegedly

I just saw that Star Wars Episode 1: Phantom Menace is coming back to theaters in 3-D February 10th. I didn't think I would go see a movie in the theater that I had already seen just because it came to the theater in 3-D. I love triple-D, and all forMATTS, but it seemed silly until now. I will go to see this movie in 3-D when it arrives. Maybe I am from Tatooine?


I have gone on long enough today. Sorry if I beat a dead horse in this blog but I was so proud to be an American a couple of days ago and now I am A Matt Without A Country. I am confident that I will be able to figure out my real life story and it will have a happy ending. It's actually kinda cool being a mysterious man from who knows where; I am sure amnesia is involved. Have you ever actually known anybody who has had amnesia? Me neither. I have always hankered to write a book and now maybe my actual life story will allow me to write a non-fiction story of my life. Isn't that called an autobiography or something?

Thank you for stopping by. I always appreciate you being here and letting me get out some of my thoughts. Make sure you listen to the podcast if you haven't because we try to discuss different things there than I do here even though there usually is some over-lap. I will continue to try to find my gypsy heritage. I have always had a wandering heart and admired the gypsy/beach-comber lifestyle and maybe all of that makes a little more sense now. It's funny how one little thing, be it real or in your mind or in your blog, can make you look at things from an entirely different direction and start your mind a-wanderin'. Have a great day. TTTT...MITM (out to view the world a little differently - it's nice) TA!