Short and Snotty!

It's Wednesday already and it's the first time I am blogging since Saturday.  I have been sick the last couple of days and we did the podcast Monday. I lost all of yesterday. I have been doing Nyquil  in the day and Dayquil at night because I am just the opposite of most people. I am editing the Dirty Laundry Podcast right now while I write this and the podcast should be up very soon today.

I have not been sick in the last three years and now I am very sick. I don't do the flu shots because that whole deal seems ridiculous to me for many reasons and it has worked for me. I will get better soon and it isn't bad enough to keep me from work so Kay Sarah Sarah!

I heard that the Chicago Cubs are now interested in Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder. Why would they not be interested in great hitters? Maybe because Pujols wants like S30 million per year for 25 years or something like that. I cannot imagine that the St. Louis Cardinals would let Pujols go and the talk on the Chicago talk-radio shows is that the Cubs may be just trying to drive the price for Pujols up for the Cardinals. Since the new Cubs manager is from the Milwaukee Brewers and Fielder is a Brewer Prince Fielder will become a Chicago Cub. I base this merely on a hunch but I am normally The Hunchmatt of All-things Lame so remember you read it here first!

I cannot stop coughing and sniffling...ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I think I am going to wrap this up because it's not doing either of us any good and I have to get some sleep so I can get better and because I haven't slept since yesterday afternoon and I have to work again later.  I will attempt to do a proper blog tomorrow but I just wanted you to know that even though I am sick I am still alive...thanks for stopping in and for the concern I imagine you have )if I'm wrong don't tell me). TTTT...MITM (Nyquiling out)

The Weekend Blog of the Century!!!!

It's Saturday morning at 2:27AM I promised you that I was going to write this blog Friday and even though I missed that by a mere two hours and 27 minutes I apologize for my miscalculations in both time and the ability to handle my obstacles of: work, lack of sleep, high school basketball tournament, wife out of town and it being Black Friday. I am, however, writing this on paper win an Inc. Trio3 pen rather on a keyboard to try to make amends (I am obviously retyping it write now because my printing, though very neat, is not quite this neat).

I guess the Black Friday thing worked nicely for Fabio's basketball team. Their school colors are black and orange and they won all three games they played yesterday to start their freshman basketball experiences off with a 3-0 record. They have two more games this morning so thank goodness it's Orange Saturday!Some call it Small Business Saturday but I know it's really Orange Saturday.

The last game of the day yesterday Fabio's team played our cross cornfield rivals the Sycamore Spartans - like a Spartan would ever have a chance against a Barb! Anywho... I was very proud in so many ways to watch that last game. Firstly, even though the boys from both teams played very hard, there was no dirty play. Actually that should have been "firstly" since I thought of something that I noticed before the aforementioned "firstly." while the boys were doing their pre-game warm-ups I saw that Sycamore has a boy on their team, #51, who apparently to me had Downs Syndrome. I don't know if it is Downs Syndrome but it was a look that I have known to associate with Downs syndrome (I hope that doesn't sound insensitive but you know me well enough to know that I am not a stereo-typer nor prejudice in any way nor mean-spirited nor mean-hearted). I was very impressed by Sycamore for their choice of players on their team. The game commenced and before long DeKalb had over doubled the score of Sycamore. This is usually the time, near the end of these games, where coaches put in players that don't usually get much playing time which is what Sycamore did.  As the subs ran onto the court their players "matched-up" with our players. #51 went right for good old #10 (#10 in your programs but #1 in your hearts) Fabio. It was clearly a man-to-man mismatch as #51 was about 5'5' tall and Fabio is about 5' 11 3/4" tall. There was a stop in the action and Fabio's coach called him over and quietly said something to him. The game concluded shortly thereafter with very little, if any, further scoring. After the game, on the way home, I asked the Fabio, "did the coach tell you to let the boy you were matched up score?" Fabio told me that he was told to let #51 get the ball if it came that way but that he was going to do that anyway. I was pretty sure that was going to be the answer as I know that to be true of Fabio's nature. I am very proud of both of our children not merely because of their athletic and scholastic achievements but more for their generosity and kindness and compassion and awareness and selflessness at times when it counts. Many things will fade over years but a person's character doesn't fade. I was also very proud of Fabio's young basketball coach for helping to help cement these actions.

Remember a few blogs ago how I wrote "why an I here?" I think I have figured it out and I am reminded over and over again when I see Fabio and Splenda grow into people I am proud to know even more so when I hope that I may have had a small part in that miracle and in a very small way making the world a better place to live.

Here is a video clip that I took of Black Friday shopping lines at Wal-Mart and Best Buy.

I saw an advertisement for Carson's (Carson's is a department store for you not familiar) that had "sports throws" for sale for $19.97. The photo shows these kind of picnic blankets of two sports teams and I am trying to figure out the thought-process in the advertisement. The teams pictured are the Milwaukee Brewers (perfectly good choice though I would have gone with the Cardinals, of course) and the Penn State Nittany Lions (I am not kidding). I think this scandal may have just stretched itself to Carson's.

While we're on shopping and such what's the deal with manufacturers' rebates? It is probably very apparent to some of you but why, if I am going to get $100 back after I send in a coupon along with a copy of my receipt and whatever other volumes of stuff that they need, can't the store just take the $100 off the item and send for the rebate? I am sure that it is to do with something like getting my information to sell to someone else so i get a bunch of junk emails and snail mail. Or is it that they hope that I will never send it in and then it's my fault I didn't get the $100 back? I call shenanigans!

When is Lady Ga Ga's 20 minutes gonna be up? Soon I hope.

I read that there is an above average snowfall predicted for the MIDDLEwest this winter. Based on the prediction I hope last year had WAY ABOVE snowfall so that by comparison this winter's snowfall will see low even though its' above average on a whole.

I know this blog is longer than usual (TWSS) but it is a Friday/Saturday combo platter. Thanks a lot for stopping by. I am now off to get ready for a few more freshman basketball games this morning and then back here to go to bed (I just got home from work again jiggity-jig). Have a great weekend and we will probably be recording the Dirty Laundry Podcast later tonight (I play on talking about a lot of these things here more on there - in greater detail). TTT?...MITM (dragging along) TA!

Happy Day Turkey (strike that - reverse it)

You've played it before Roz Deux - Hit it again!!!
Happy Thanksgiving Americans! Happy Thursday Everybody Else!!!

Maybe you're reading this between the Lions and the Cowboys games. Maybe you're reading this because the in-laws are driving you crazy. Maybe you're reading this because you are all alone and there's nothing better to do. Maybe you're reading this because you saw that it is posted while you are planning your offense for Black Friday tomorrow morning. Maybe you're not even reading this so I am not writing about you but you wouldn't know that I am not writing about you if you're not reading this. Maybe the tryptophan hasn't kicked in yet and you are looking for something to aid your Thanksgiving nap and you thought of MITM... no MATTER why you're here - I am thankful for you being here.

The Marilyn Monroe photo from yesterday's blog didn't attract the same reading audience that Jenny McCarthy received the day before but maybe that is due to the holiday? My research must go on so I will try to find a Thanksgiving appropriate random Turkey and Apple pie (T & A) photo for today. Why is pumpkin pie the big pie for Thanksgiving? I think that pecan must the second place pie. You never hear about apple pie at Thanksgiving. I think rhubarb pie seems autumnish to me too. Mincemeat is big for today also I think right? Why not a good old banana cream Thanksgiving pie? I know the pilgrims didn't have much coconut but coconut cream pie sounds great to me right now. I believe I am missing the whole eating until you cannot walk part of Thanksgiving that I didn't think I would miss.

Just being random here but I really like the word NINCOMPOOP! 

I am finding it hard to get motivated to write the blog today. I worked until late last night (actually until 6 AM this morning) and I think I may just be tired. Right after I am done writing this I think I will probably lie back down and fall asleep; I gotta say that is one major advantage of having everybody else gone. I think I will run to the store and get a couple of frozen pizzas first - they are open until 4PM and I am not going to fight the Black Friday pizza sales tomorrow morning. The pilgrims were big fans of pizza. I really need to invent a Thanksgiving pizza to make this whole holiday cooking thing easier.

Tomorrow morning Fabio has his first three basketball games as a high schooler. Then Saturday he has two more. If you're looking for something to do on the day after Thanksgiving I just thought I would throw that out there. What is there to do on the day after Thanksgiving? Get as far away from any retail establishment as possible...hunker down in a gymnasium filled with hundreds of smelly teenage bots (100's because it is a tournament). I have so many very, very, very off-color, bad-taste jokes I won't put here but I am ashamed that they are even in my mind. I really am fighting the urge to type two words that would make this all really bad but I am not going t be a nincompoop!

Enough outta me. I will try to write tomorrow but with the three basketball games, trying to get some sleep, working and it being Black Friday I am not sure I will be able to. I promise to try. Have a nice rest of your Thursday/Turkey Day and hopefully you don't have to work tomorrow unless you are unemployed looking for a job then hopefully you will have to work tomorrow. I am thankful for you reading this blog even on days when I ramble more than most. I really appreciate you. TTTT?...MITM gobbled out! Good night and good nudes!

Time to Decide on the Breast, the Thigh or the Drumstick!

Hit it Roz Jr. 
Happy Turkey Eve! Just be forewarned that I am going to put a random photo of a hot chick in this blog because yesterday's blog was the most-read MITM for the last seven days and I am trying to do some blog marketing research to see if it was just the photo of Jenny McCarthy that brought the high ratings. My guess is that sex doesn't sell. I smell a MITM Blogander Girl calendar coming soon...submit your photos today!

Today's blog money ratings shot

I believe that I have become Arthur Fonzarelli. I am the loser who is going to spend Thanksgiving alone though with The Fonz it was Christmas. Splenda couldn't come home from school because she has to work the day after Thanksgiving and she's like six hours away so that would be ridiculous. Cha Cha went to see Splenda but we could not go because I have to work and Fabio has five basketball games Friday and Saturday. It looks like Fabio is going to go with his friend and family over the river and through the woods to his friend's grandmother's house for turkey day. I wonder if there are MATTinees on Thursday?

I cannot believe I didn't realize that yesterday was the anniversary of the Kennedy assassination. He was the President when I was born and this is the props I give him? I remember where I was when Kennedy was shot. Well, I don't remember it but I am fairly certain I am correct. I was in a crib in an apartment in Dossenheim, West Germany. Dossenheim, of course, is about 5 clicks (kilometers), north of Heidelberg. It's just west of the Nekar as you know. JFK has always been one of my favorite Presidents but maybe whoever the President is when you're born is always one of your favorite Presidents? My condolences to anyone born between 2001 and 2009 based on this theory. Maybe if there are MATTinees on Thanksgiving I will go to see My Week with Marilyn in honor of Jack Kennedy. They should have turkey gravy buttery topping for the popcorn on Thanksgiving...much better that Black Fries-day though turkey gravy butter topping might be able to save burnt fries.

We have a new bank being erected in Dekalb (TWSS). Why are we getting a new bank when our country is outta money?Redonkulous!

I am still a lot salty about this call

I heard that they are talking about instituting the instant replay in Major League Baseball for more things than just verifying home runs as it is now. I am totally against this. Even though my St. Louis Cardinals lost the 1985 World Series because of umpire Don Denkinger's crappy call in game six I am still against the instant replay in baseball. And yes the Cardinals would have won the entire World Series had this call not been blown but instead it forced a game seven and the Kansas City Royals ended up winning that World Series. They're gonna wreck baseball just like they have done to the NFL. While I was trying to think of why they would do such a thing I am sure I know the answer....the answer is the same for all major sports decisions...MONEY!!!! More breaks to check instant replays means more time for commercials which means more time for advertisers to pour money into the billionaires' pockets. Aren't ticket prices and food prices and parking prices and souvenir prices... enough? Maybe our new NB&T Bank should have decided to build in a larger city with a MLB team.

You know how the Republicans have been having debate after debate after debate after debate just to try to figure out who will run for President? They have 13 more debates scheduled between now and the end of March. If they cannot even figure out who their candidate is how are we supposed to trust the person that they finally decide on? I am not really sure what the idea behind this is? Is it just so all of their candidates become household names? They have done that and they have gotten a bunch of publicity though it's things like...is she the idiot one?...is he the one who sexually harassed some former employees?...is he the one who seemed drunk and didn't even remember what his stands on issues were? They may as well just have all done Dancing with the Stars and the winner could have been the candidate. 

One of my co-workers last night was calling me Mike all night. I don't know if you remember a while back when someone was calling me Mitch? Maybe I should start going by Matthew since it is more distinct-sounding than Matt. Again, just like last time, I just let the person continue to call me Mike rather than embarrassing them. I have been called much worse things than Mitch or Mike in my day but maybe I should start telling them right away next time but then what would I blog about? Sometimes I like to let life's little dramas play out, as long as they don't harm anyone, just so I can be entertained I think.

Okay, enough for today. Have a great Thanksgiving tomorrow and think about me and my dog - the Blockhead and Snoopy (Maisy is her real name-o) tomorrow when you're surrounded by the ones you love and eating all of the great food while I am having a Lean Cuisine waiting for my showtime so I can sit in the theater all by myself like the loser that I am. I actually love going to movies by myself and this way I will have time to blog tomorrow again anyway. TTTT (ta ta til thanksgiving)...MITM (mike in the middle) out! I think I may really be a loser blockhead after I think of it but good thing I am too stupid to realize it.) Thanks for being here - TA! (that extra T & A is for blog ratings)

Can you believe it's Thanksgiving Eve Eve Already?

I believe (and hope) that it has!!!

It happened again....Tuesday followed Monday. With those two out of the way we are one day closer to the big three of this week - Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Small Business Saturday. I never really thought about small businesses really getting a raw deal on Black Friday until I heard about Small Business Saturday. Black Friday is pretty much for the mega stores who have enough space and staff and merchandise to be able to entertain stampedes of crowds. The small stores probably really miss out on all of the tramplings and fights and lawsuits so they have come up with a day that people can go to the smaller stores to make Christmas purchases. Thank goodness they have a day for it because people would never think of that without a specified day. Do you suppose that if I started a line of greeting cards for Black Friday and Small Business Saturday I could sell them on Whimsical Greeting Card Wednesday? Side note - I hate greeting cards - they're stupid.

I saw a commercial that said McDonald's is serving french fries in the morning on Black Friday. I guess using the "fri" to represent french fries is kinda clever but I have not ever been a big fan of burnt (black) french fries. It doesn't really paint (pun intended) a very good mental picture for me - Black Fries. So they are serving fries for breakfast Friday. Oatmeal and fries? Danish and Fries? I guess it's no different than hash browns but why are they forsaking their hash browns? I smell a potato product class action suit coming from this one and it smells delicious.

Black fries make me think of Black Eyed Peas. There are rumors that the Black Eyed Peas are going to split up? Would that constitute Black Eyed Split Pea Soup? (if they do break up I guarantee you;'ll see someone steal that headline from me). They say they are just taking a break. Ashton and Demi said they weren't breaking up for about two years now and now they are in splitsville. Where there's smoke there's usually burnt Black Eyed Pea soup but what difference does it really matter anyway? I love the Black Eyed Peas but I could manage to go on living listening to Will.I.Am's and Fergie's solo stuff. Those other two guys who knows if they are still in the group? What kind of names are AppleD and Taboo anyway? Or isn't it Apple D Ap or something? I am not interested enough to even Google it.

Jim Carey's Thanksgiving  leftovers!

Here's today's Kardashian News report - - - "WHO THE HELL CARES? Back to you Matt In the Middle."

Jenny McCarthy is advertising for a new boyfriend on Match.com but "no L.A. guys need apply." Is advertising for a new boyfriend advertising for a new boyfriend or actually advertising for publicity when you're a former Playboy playmate? I have a feeling that Cha Cha would be advertising for a new man too if I posted a message like this!!!

I guess I should start thinking about getting ready for work. I hope you have a nice Tuesnight. Thank you for stopping by to spend a few minutes escaping your exciting life to focus on my nonsense; I really appreciate it! TTTT (Thanksgiving Eve - I can't believe we haven't started celebrating that yet)...MITM (off to sign-up for Match.com since I don't live in L.A.) TA!

Are you a Thunder Lips or a Clubber Lange?

Thanksgiving leftovers YUM!!!!

Hey, it's Monday. Whadda you know about that?

This is a short week for many of you  (the ones in America who work full-time "regular" jobs) as Thanksgiving is Thursday. Most companies also give their employees the day after Thanksgiving off because they're nice. If you work in retail I am guessing that you do not have Friday off even if they are nice because I am pretty sure Black Friday is ALL HANDS ON DECK! We had our Thanksgiving yesterday here as I have to work Thanksgiving and the day after (even though they seem nice so far but we are an ALL HANDS ON DECK business even though we aren't retail) and Cha Cha will be out of town. Cha Cha's brother and his family were over as well as my parents and Cha Ca's sister. It was a nice day and I have still been doing a lot of clean-up today. Cha Cha did most of the cooking. I had done the cooking for I think all of our previous Thanksgivings and Cha Cha wanted to do it this year. She did a great job. Don't be jealous but we already have the Thanksgiving left-overs that you will have later this week.

J. Edgar Hoover

Thanksgiving is kind of a weird holiday to me. What are we celebrating? That we like to overeat? That we could push natives from their land? I am proud to be an American most of the time and in a lot of ways but this holiday usually doesn't sit that well with me though that feeling may actually be gas from all of the aforementioned over-eating. Why did we decide that turkey was the meal of choice on Thanksgiving? Why not steak? My theory, that I just now concocted in my head, is that was a little reminder to the Native Americans not to mess with us. Cows don't have feathers!

Cha Cha and I went to see J. Edgar Saturday - the movie not the guy. We went and watched it and came home immediately without talking about the movie at all and talked about it on this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast which is up now. I want to tell you about it here but I want you to listen to the podcast more so if you want to know what we thought of the movie just click that link or download the podcast onto your ipod or just listen to it on your computer. It's tough to go see a movie with someone and ride all the way home without the usual "what'd you think" talk but we did it and there was not one word mentioned about the film at all until "the mic went hot."

When did Hell become the thing/place by which everything else is measured? I get the "hot as Hell" reference but what's with things like: "cool as Hell" or "cute as Hell" or "nice as Hell?" Hell must have one Hell of a public relations department. I'm just Hella curious.

Sorry - wrong Rocky!

I heard that there is a new musical heading to Broadway soon. It one the great love stories that we have all come to know and it's about time that it becomes a musical. Actually, Spider-Man makes much more sense as a Broadway musical than this one. It's the timeless loves story of Robert "Rocky" Balboa and Adrianna "Adrian" Pennino. That's right it's Rocky: The Musical. I cannot even imagine a Sylvester Stallone-type singing to a Carl Weathers-type all sweaty and half-naked. I have a pretty good imagination but it has it's limits. What's next? Jaws:The Musical? Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Musical? Westside Story: The Musical? U2 did the Spider-Man music who is gonna do the Rocky music? I think maybe Weird Al would be good? I would definately go to see a music about Rocky written by Weird Al. If you watch Southpark you have probably seen the episode about the Broadway musicals and if so I think Rocky: The Musical might be the exception to the rule. I don't know how I can say what the message was but it pretty much says that when a man takes a lady to see a musical she is very orally appreciative! Talk about Thunder Lips! Maybe with this musical the guys will have to provide the women with pedicures or something...why can't we all just want the same things? Life would be so much more convenient.

Alright, I am off to have a pre-Thanksgiving leftover dinner. I hope you have a Helluva Monnight. Make sure you keep some time on your calendar so we can go see Rocky: The Musical (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean, say no more). Thanks a lot for stooping by and don't forget to listen to the podcast to listen to our J.Edgar review. we should have had Greg Weindorf with us though it was a last minute decision. TTTT...MITM (out for the count)
Send em off the way you know you should Roz II (listen to the words of the song and think Southpark LOL) 

The Blog Is Finally Outta the Red! (THE FRIDAY PRE BLACK FRIDAY BLOG)

I cannot believe I actually slept eight hours in a row. Maybe all of this time I thought I was a morning person I was actually supposed to be a night person and that was the problem all along? The fickle finger of fate may have figured out my problem for me. I will reserve judgment for awhile but that is my early hypothesis. I am really groggy and I didn't take any Benadryl or anything. I have read about this and I have seen it first hand many times but I don't think I have every experienced this grogginess from a personal stand-point.

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday but it turns out that it was a national blogging holiday. It was MADYM's birthday. I spend most of the time I would have blogged fixing Fabio's basketball hoop outside. It doesn't make sense to have a basketball player living in the house who cannot practice basketball in the driveway.

I heard that the Houston Astros are going to move from the  National League to the American League in 2013. If they were going to have to move somebody over the the American League eventually why did they ever move the Milwaukee Brewers to the American League in the first place? When they added the Colorado Rockies and the Florida Marlins (now the Miami Marlins) and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (then the Devil Rays now just the Rays) and the Arizona Diamond backs and the Washington Nationals to major league baseball why didn't they think of all of this? They should come up with some kind of a baseball scorecard or something. I also heard that they are going to play inter-league baseball all season now so what the heck's the difference anyway? I know it's probably about equaling the leagues but we all know it's about money and creativity division rivalries like the Texas Rangers and the Houston Astros... My friends and I already have our next year's baseball trip scheduled and coincidentally it is to Texas to see a Rangers game and an Astros game. That adds a cool part to it I guess since it will be the last season that the Astros are in the NL. Texas in June - I cannot wait.

This Sunday is Thanksgiving. Don't worry Americans - yours is probably still next Thursday. Cha Cha has planned to have our families over this Sunday instead of on Thursday because she is going down to see Splenda at school for Thanksgiving. In addition to school Splenda has two retail jobs and as most of you know the day after Thanksgiving is BLACK FRIDAY (the dumbest thing ever known to mankind) so she has to work. I have to work on Thanksgiving and Fabio has a basketball tournament the two days after Thanksgiving so we cannot go. Again...there should be a scorecard. I am bummed that I don't get to see Splenda but it's part of the process of having your kids move away and only seeing them at holidays - HEY THIS IS A HOLIDAY!!!!

Coming to your town soon !!!!

I probably mentioned it here before but, even though I always say how stupid Black Friday is, I did partake in in one time. Fabio was young and it was the year that the scooters became crazy popular and you couldn't find them anywhere. I guess you probably could have found them in store's backrooms but they wanted to make sure people got sufficiently crazed for Black Friday so some people could get trampled to death fighting for a $50 DVD player. Anyway, we were down visiting Nature Girl and Richard Gazinya for Thanksgiving and I woke up the next morning and went to Walmart in the MIDDLE of a cornfield to race for a scooter - I wish I had the scooter ahead of time for the race. The doors opened about six hours before daylight but I got in and got a scooter. I was so happy to get there that I grabbed two. Why in the Helser did I need two? What was I imagining I would do with a second scooter? As I was walking away and all of the scooters were gone I saw a lady approaching with disappointment on her face and asked her and found out she was getting a scooter but they were all gone. I saved her Christmas by giving her a scooter. He son or daughter probably broke an arm riding that scooter and I could be a part of that Christmas miracle. I got totally wrapped up in something evil but I fought that demon and have never looked back. Now we can use the internet can't we? SAY NO TO BLACK FRIDAY. They pretend it's called Black Friday because of the black ink they can begin to use when they're "outta the red" but we know what the black really is - EVIL!

Have a great rest of your non-black Friday. A week from today is my famous Black Friday Blog. I don't really have a Black Friday Blog and there's very little famous about this blog but I just get caught up in the holiday greed hype. Maybe I will try to figure out a Black Friday Blog and post it at midnight or something now that I am a night person rather than a morning person ALLEGEDLY! Thanks for spending time with me again...TTT (maybe tomorrow)... MITM (out!)

The Froshest Blog In Town!

Happy Humpday. I am sorry this is so late today but the day just got away from me. Got off work and then took Fabio to school, took the dog to the groomer, went grocery shopping, worked in the garage, passed out between shifts, and now I am writing this before I have to pick-up Fabio and his pals from basketball practice.

Fabio's first high school basketball game is next Friday which isn't neither hear-nor-there to you but looking at the schedule I was reminded of something that has always puzzled me (there's a lot of things that puzzle and/or bother me which is why I have a blog I think). Why are the freshmen referred to as "FROSH" on things that require abbreviating like sports schedules? Is there something derogatory about the term "FRESH?" In foods (bread, fruits, vegetables...) fresh is very good. If this were a recent change with the situation going on at Penn State I could understand but it has been FROSH for as long as I can remember. The Urban Dictionary says it is short for "froshling" but I don't see that word anywhere but in the Urban Dictionary either. Fresh makes sense in that they are fresh into high school too. I know you must know the answer to this because you are so much smarter than me so please let me know.

I got my first paycheck from my new job and I was delighted to see that I made much more money than I thought I would have. This new job is an hourly position and when I looked at the stub to try to figure out why I was being paid more than I was supposed to I noticed that I had 80 hours regular hours (two - 40 hour weeks as we are paid every two weeks) and 80 hours at time-and-a-half. Being an idiot an honest guy I told my boss right away and after she checked it out it turns out that a mistake was made somewhere and now I will not get a check next time and the one following that will only be about half as big as it should be. I guess it's nice that I got a lot this time. It was weird because with direct deposit I never look at my pay stubs which probably isn't very wise but I have an idea about how much should be in the bank deposit and if it's wrong I will check the stub. In this case, however, I received the stub before the money went into my account but something told me to check the stub - probably because it was the first check of a new job and it's still like Christmas morning even though I opened the stub on Christmas Eve. Anyway, now they know that I am an idiot honest guy. I am a big believer in karma and I know that virtue is its own reward (even though sometimes stupid). He...now if I die before my next paycheck I am money ahead.

I hear that Jerry Seinfeld is taking over for Regis Philbin. That means that all of the hooplah about the show "auditioning" different hosts for the job was all a bunch of crap the whole time. Who is this Jerry Seinfeld anyway? Who are these guest hosts? It was weird because I wrote it down yesterday to write about this in today's blog and I received a Facebook message from one of my "best good friends" MADYM that kinda touched on the same thing but what she wrote I didn't even think of even though I had written about my retire/dead theory a couple of weeks ago. She asked "Matt, are you as concerned as I am about the fate of Regis Philbin? We all saw what happened to Andy Rooney after he quit his TV show..." I cannot even believe I didn't get the Steve Jobs/Andy Rooney to Regis Philbin connection. I don't wish bad on anybody and I think Regis is a pretty cool dude but this may be the #3 in that celebrities die in threes death thing (I really hope not because then I will feel like the blog has voodoo juju attached to it). MADYM, the next time I am unable or unwilling or uninterested in writing the blog you are the new permanent guest host blogger. You are my heir apparent!!!! 

And I call myself a Maris/Cardinals fan

While reading, because I know how to do that now, I discovered something I didn't know - funny how reading does that to a person. I feel stupid I didn't know this because one of my all-time favorite baseball players is Roger Maris and my favorite baseball team is THE WORLD CHAMPION ST. LOUIS CARDINALS!!!  I didn't realize that Roger Maris was a St. Louis Cardinal after he left the Yankees. You think that would have come up more often when Mark McGwire, a St. Louis Cardinal, was trying to break his record for most home runs in a season (which he eventually did). That record is just surrounded by **asterisks** isn't it? My top five baseball players of all-time, in no particular order are: Ozzie Smith, Roberto Clemente, Roger Maris, Jackie Robinson, Albert Pujols, Pete Rose (in case it comes up in MITM Trivial Pursuit and yes, I know that is six players). And Babe Ruth - now that's seven though Mickey Mantle was #7.

I just went and got Fabio and a couple of his teammates from practice and now I am back (I was gone for half-an-hour and you didn't even know it. Stealthiness is next to Blogliness!


I have much more to write which will make tomorrow's blog actually interesting maybe. Thank you for being here - I appreciate you every day. I will be able to blog earlier tomorrow because I got all of my todos done today (most of them anyway). TTTT...MITM (out at the plate- it must be dinner time).

Am I the only one that thinks that those little "cameras" on toilets and urinals that automatically flush the toilets are actually recording us doing our business so they can replay all of the weird stuff that goes on in bathrooms one day on a television show called "Totally Unhidden Bathroom Video?" I would probably watch a show like that before I would watch Jersey Shore or any of the Kardashian shows and I really have no interest whatsoever what goes on in a bathroom when I'm not there.

Last week Smokin' Joe Frazier died of liver cancer. When I was a kid Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali were the shiznit (and George Foreman, of course)! I was always entertained by Ali and he was a great fighter but I think I liked Smokin' Joe better. He just walked the walk and let Ali talk the talk. Ali said that Joe was the only man who he fought that ever talked back to him in the ring. Joe started boxing kind of by accident when he went to the gym in South Carolina just to get into shape. He soon became one of the best amateurs in the country and when Buster Mathis, who was supposed to box in the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, hurt his hand Joe took his spot and won the Gold Medal in boxing. He and Ali duked it out in the most famous fight of all time (until the Rocky movies) - "The Thrilla in Manila." Joe lost because the fight was stopped due to his eyes being swelled shut but Ali said, "that was the closest I've come to death." Ali was at Joe's funeral.

I think our fantasy football league is on the way out. Everybody is fighting like real NFL owners and three teams haven't even paid their entrance fees and we are going into week eleven of the season. This is supposed to be fun but I guess we are getting more bang for our buck, the ones of us who have paid, with it being like the NFL even behind the scenes. I am pretty sure that no matter what happens I will not return to this league next season. I like a lot of the guys in the league and some of them have been my friends for over 20 years so maybe I need to start a league and invite the good "owners." Is that how the USFL and the WFL and all of those not-so-successful leagues started? Maybe I am actually getting my money's worth with all of the extra drama, I'm not sure. Perhaps I wouldn't mind the drama so much if I knew that if I won I'd get paid (with Monopoly-type money because gambling, even like this, is probably illegal and if this were for real money that would be gambling). I have quite a few fantasy decisions to make.

This is real fantasy football!!!

I think I am going to end for today because I am outta things to say (like that's ever stopped me before). I appreciate you stopping here as always and I will try to be more insightful and inspiring tomorrow. Remember I said TRY! Have a great Tuesnight and I will blog you again tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (down for the count).
"Down goes MITM, Down goes MITM!!!!"

Why Are You Reading This?

I am in one of those "why are we here?" modes right now. I don't know if it's from the last two Dirty Laundry Podcasts where we talked about past-lives and the possibilities of why we are here or what. I know many of the theories of why we are here but really - why are we here? Why are we even necessary? These are questions that have been asked since the beginning of time and will be asked until the end of time so maybe we're just here to try to figure out why we're here. If that is my main goal I do so many things that get in the way of finding that answer. Or, is me trying to find the answer actually THE answer? Also, are we all here for the same purpose? I don't want to belabor the issue but just know that's what's going if this blog wanders more than usual.

Over the last three days I only got a combined eight hours of sleep so sleep isn't my purpose. It wasn't for any particular reason - I just didn't sleep and I wasn't tired. Maybe it's the transition period from becoming an early morning person to a late-night person reaching the zenith and turning the corner.

I am sure you know what yesterday was. Remember it was November 13th! If I ever get asked to leave I hope it is on November 13th. If that's the case I have at least another 364 days.

My purpose today is: to do laundry (the real kind not the podcasting kind), go grocery shopping for the few things we forgot while shopping yesterday, to shower, to shave (it's been four days so I have a beard already), to clean the kitchen, to make dinner and to go to work. I guess I found my purpose. That just came to me (no pun intended) as I was typing that. I cannot believe I had forgotten that. Even though that movie is generally considered a bad movie my many it's one of my favorites.

I have come up with the title of my autobiography and thought I would put it here so I can stop somebody if they try use it before I do. But, maybe by me writing it here ,someone WILL use it even though they had never thought of it before? I guess I'll chance it since, most likely, there won't be much of a reason for me to write an autobiography and this will give me a chance to sue somebody famous maybe which would become a great chapter in my autobiography that I will never write. INTERLOPER!!!! I think it's perfect and it also pretty much expresses my purpose in life. Nevermind...when I searched I found that there is a Marvel comic book character called The Interloper so that's out!

The washer just stopped so I have to go start another load and get to the store... Thanks for letting me interlope your day for a little bit. You know how I appreciate you coming here without threat of harm. Have a great rest of your Monday and I will continue on my quest for my "special purpose." TTTT...MITM (out to find his porpoise and knowing that someday I will return to you).
Leave with a good one Roz-Jamie

Can You Guess My Blogging Name?

Hit it Jamie Roz
Happy 11-11-11-!! I guess we each get a wish granted or something...I am not up on the 11/11/11 rules yet. I just got home from work just now and thought I may as well get writing the blog because everybody else is still fast asleep here and they don't need to get up because it's Veteran's Day so I don't have to make any lunches or run anybody to school...and I get four days off now...cool! I was writing a report at work earlier this morning and it was fun to write 1:11AM 11/11/11. I don't why that is fun because one is supposed to be the loneliest number but everybody loves to get aces when they're playing poker.

A dream is a wish your blog makes

I hope that Veteran's Day doesn't take a backseat to something as silly as 11/11/11. I don't think enough can be said for what the troops do for our country. I am so happy that so many of them have gotten to/are getting to come home since the war in Irag is over. It seems so senseless to be fighting any wars in the world when most countries have wars to deal with in their own countries with money. Italy and Greece and America, as well as most of Europe I guess, are having economic wars within their own borders. Make Money Not War!!!!

What is the new fascination with fairy tales again?  I don't think it's a bad thing but I just find it curious how the American media is so band-wagony! I am sure you have heard on Dirty Laundry Podcast how Cha Cha and I have talked about the new television shows Grim and Once Upon a Time. If you haven't listened to those podcasts you'd better consider doing it by midnight or I will turn you into a toad in a glass slipper. I hear now that there is a new movie coming out entitles Snow White and the Huntsman. I cannot imagine Charlize Theron as an evil queen.  when she and I were married she was nothing but nice - speaking of fairy tales (the marriage part not the not nice part). I always loved Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and I have always loved fairy tales. It just always amuses me how the trends go in the entertainment industry. Movies and television shows and blogs and podcast all travel in the same circles.

It's the nature of my blog!

I am pretty tired and think I must be rambling more than usual with this blog. Actually that's pretty much what this blog is it's the babbling of a blogging idiot. I am the Rumpelstiltskin of the blogging world. 

I am not sure if jack and Jill can be classified as a fairy tale but I have to say that the new Adam Sandler movie, Jack and Jill looks about as stupid as the last Adam Sandler movie that I saw Grown-Ups. How in the hell did he get Katie Holmes to be in this movie? Did she lose a bet or something? Did she eat a poison apple that made her sign a contract? I haven't seen the movie, and I won't, but what the heck is going on with Adam Sandler? I like him and I have liked some of the things he's done but he has jumped an entire ocean of sharks. If you see it and tell me that is was worth watching I will probably assume you were drunk and I will not see it. I think if I am ever on an airplane and that movie, which I have never seen mind you, is playing I will hope that we are flying over a huge body of water so I can jump in with the sharks!!! If you want me to go see it with you I will go as long as you fetch me a pail of rum and we can sneak it into the theater.

I had better end now because I don't even know what I am blogging about anymore. Someone has cast a spell on me and things are appearing on the screen that I would cannot believe my fingers are producing (TWSS). Have a great 11/11/11 Veteran's Day. Thank you for stooping in and watch me spin blogging gold into hay - isn't it supposed to work the other way? TTTM (or this weekend)...MITM (out on his tuffett)
Send em off Jamie Roz

What is life if not for a little exploitation?

Do you think he has a ponytail?

Tell them what today is Roz/Jamie!

Just a quick blog today because things are kinda crazy. For instance...it's snowing like crazy out right now. It's not sticking but it's snowing just the same. Snow and about 30 mile per hour winds makes me dread the next couple of months. If you can't stand the crappy winter weather get out of the MIDDLEwest!

In about an hour I have to drive the team bus to practice. But I thought basketball was over you might say. Well, it would have been over if Fabio hadn't made the team. That's correct - the would-be team manager made the freshman team. I told you he would but he said he had doubts. I imagine that was a defense mechanism to prepare himself in case he didn't make the team. I am happy he made the team becasue I know now I will have help making him start to lift weights because they will be required to do lifting at some practices. Even though he's almost 6' tall he still weighs something like 120 pounds - he needs some muscle. Remind me that I said that when he is beating the hell outta me in a couple of months.

I saw Bill Clinton on television when I got off of work this morning and I think he now looks like one of America's founding fathers. I have always liked Bill Clinton. And like Justin Bieber "he did not have sexual relations with that woman." Thanks to Michelle H. for that joke. It's a total coincidence that she put that on one of yesterday's blog links when I talked about Biebergate and I saw Bill Clinton today on the tele.
There is "midget wrestling" at a local bar here in town on Saturday night. I saw the sign out front of Starbusters when I drove by yesterday. I think I would like to see midget wrestling but I am not 100% sure how I feel about that. I think I should be happy that they are working in a country where so many are not but I hope they are not being exploited. I would say that most athletes are exploited but when so many professional athletes make millions of dollars a year it's hard to call that exploitation. I am sure it is not indentured servitude but I have mixed emotions. If the place fills up do they make more money so it would be good for me to go? Would I go if it were regular wrestling? I don't think I would even go if it were lady Jell-O wrestling. I think that there is a part of me that wants to go and see if they would be on the Dirty Laundry Podcast so I can get to the bottom of all of these burning questions. I doubt that I will go but is it fortuitous that this is my three-day weekend? You'll have to wait and find out (the same time as I find out).

I am very impressed that Penn State fired Joe Paterno, their head football coach for the last 387 years, amidst the scandal of alleged sexual abuse by one of his coaches. Paterno was loved by all of the Penn State fans and it had to be a tough decision for the University but I am glad they could put the well-being of these young men ahead of football and do the right thing. I heard some of Paterno talking on the radio last night and I sorta wonder if Penn State is doing the right thing because it is the right thing or they saw a chance to get rid of this crypt keeper. The dude can barely talk; how can he coach a football team? Either way it is the right thing to do if there is even the slightest chance that he knew even the partial extent of what is being alleged and put football before these boys.

Have a nice rest of your Thursday and the MITM Blogger's Tour is coming to you tomorrow Wisconsin! Maybe I could have bars pay me and have me blog live or do a live podcast - I don't mind being exploited. Thanks for stopping in...I will blog you up again tomorrow...be ready for it! TTTT...MITM (off the top ropes)

Happy NaNoWriMo!!!!

Maybe I should just get the blog published in book form

Happy Hump Day again. It sounds outside like autumn is gone and winter is just about here. There is snow just a little bit west of here and it won't be long now. I am not sure if it's the change of season or my new job since I see a lot of people on a daily basis but I am developing a cold.

I just found out that it is National November Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and I didn't even get you a gift. Isn't that something that Mork for Ork said? NoNoWriMo is not a made-up thing it is real. Well, everything is pretty much made up but I mean that it is not something made-up by me. NoNoWriMo is supposed to be for writers to help motivate them to write the novel that most writers know that they should be writing. It is the idea of the "movement" to write 50,000 words toward your novel in the month of November. That's 1,167 words per day. They have group meetings once a week (there is one in town here locally) that are kind of support groups to help writers get motivated to write. WHY AM I JUST FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS JUST NOW when November is about 1/3 the way over? I guess I will have to wait until next year because I am sure as Helser not going to just write every day on my own. (how many words is that so far?)

I was reading, I think Newsweek, last night and I read that the Republican Party has been sick too. The article said they have had, "Bachmania, Donalditis and Restless Perry Syndrome" and cannot seem to pick a candidate. It looks to me like now they have Cainonucleosis. They are making the Democratic Party's job very easy so far.

Remember I mentioned that some lady is saying that she is pregnant with Justin Bieber's baby? I heard that at the time she was supposedly impregnated Bieber was 16-years-old and she was 18 or 19. Check me if I'm wrong Sandy but if she had sexy-naughty-time with a 16-year-old isn't that illegal (statutory rape or something)? Maybe prison time is worth the billions of dollars she is hoping to receive in her mind but even if the paternity test that Bieber is supposedly going to take comes back showing that the baby is not Bieber's hasn't she already admitted that she had sexual relations with a minor? Gloria Allred may have a pretty big year.

I think I am going take some cold meds and lie back down before I get to go to work again. I don't mind having a cold when there is a little girl over in Spain that is having a tougher time. If you have heard the Dirty Laundry Podcast this week (the sequel coming Thursday or Friday) you heard about Sophia Galperine - she is the little girl that we have been sending good thoughts to here and on the podcast for the last month or so because she is battling possible brain cancer. She had a second surgery today and she is doing fine but if you can send good thoughts her way I would appreciate it...(no matter what your beliefs good thought are not going to hurt anything).

Lady Ga Ga even loves NaNoWriMo

Have a great rest of you day. I don't know how many words I wrote today but I have to believe I average about 1,667 words that I write everyday. I don't need some elitist hoidy toidy club with a fancy name telling me I should write every day! TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

A nice rainy Autumn day in the MIDDLEwest. Rain and Autumn...great combo!

It looks like I am going to have to work on Thanksgiving night. It doesn't matter to me because that has always been pretty much a phony-bologna holiday to me anyway.  I never understood the whole idea behind it. I am not a total boob - I get the idea - but it's really about just pigging out and watching football it seems. It's nice to have a day to spend time with family and that's what Cha Cha is going to do. She is going down to spend time with Splenda. Splenda has two part-time jobs now in addition to being a full-time student and both of her jobs are in retail and I think Black Friday is that Friday so I am pretty sure they will want her to work. I would really like to go down and see her because it's been awhile since I have seen her but we both have to work. Maybe I will have to go down there on one of my three-day weekends? I guess I will pretty much be like Fonzie at Christmas (kind of a long video - 10 minutes) sitting alone heating-up a can of Ravioli  before Mr. C. made him come to their house for Christmas dinner. I always loved that episode. Holidays are supposed to have sad parts otherwise how could there be heartwarming stories?

Fabio may or may not be going with her. If he makes the high school basketball team they will have a long day of practice the day after Thanksgiving and he will unable to go to see his sister. From the way he talks there's a real chance that he may not make the team. There are about 45 guys going-out for 20 spots. He said something to me yesterday that made me very proud though. He said that if he doesn't make the team he is going to ask if he can be one of the team managers because he loves basketball and just wants to be around it. He thought that maybe that way he could keep working-out with the team and keep getting better too. I hope he makes the team but I love the maturity he is showing and wanting to do whatever it takes to be involved in something he loves. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school team in his sophomore year of high school and he used that as a building-block to practice tirelessly from there-on-out and that seems to have worked out pretty good for him. The chances of anyone becoming a professional athlete are overwhelming but the lessons and motivations that come from lessons learned in sports is what I have always found the most important part so this is a really big deal for me.

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is ready. I think it's a pretty good show because I have always found past-life regression and stuff like that very interesting and that's what we talk about this week with Jen st. martin in Portugal who has recently experienced just that. There will be a second-part (sequel) coming up later this week but I figured I will probably wait until Thursday or Friday because if people hear that one first it may seem dis-jointed...and goodness knows our podcast is never dis-jointed.

This coming weekend Cha Cha and I have a wedding to go to. It's the wedding of the flower girl from our wedding. That kinda make me feel old but do you know what makes feel feel like being kinda old more? Being kinda old. I cannot imagine I will ever really "feel" old because I don't feel kinda old. Age is a state of mind and I prefer to live in a sunshine state. I don't mean like in Florida where all of the old people go to live kinda sunshine state I mean sunny in my mind where everything is warm and squishy...I don't mean like in my Depends I just mean like happy..not like when I am on my meds in an old folks home happy... what was I blogging about again?

The Hollywood sign is a nice, appropriate, touch

I am pretty upset with some of the things going on in America right now. Penn State, allegedly, has a former defensive coordinator who was molesting young boys who were there as part of an under-privileged childrens'  program/camp at the university several years ago; so far eight or nine, who are now young men, have come forward. Many members of the University staff knew about these concerns and said nothing. So far things seem to be going-on as if nothing has happened but something will be done soon with all of the pressure the college in receiving but why did it have to come to this? I love sports but not above people and doing what is right.Eeven though nothing has been proven yet the people allegedly involved in the acts or cover-ups need to be suspended until the investigation is complete.
Also,  one of the women who has accused Republican Presidential Candidate Herman Cain of sexual misconduct/harassment, and has received money from that situation, has come forward after getting permission to speak through her confidentiality agreement. For some reason one of the things that bothers me the most about this is that Gloria Allred is representing her legally. The sharks certainly do circle when there is a buck to be made. Hopefully she will have time to handle one of the people in the upcoming Penn State situation too.

I was having a perfectly pleasant and then I had to bring the negative vibes in here and now I am not as happy as I was. Why do people have to keep harshing my mellow? I guess it's me for letting the bad junk in there. I try not to watch much news for this exact reason. Cha Cha is always watching the news in the morning and I glance at it and I wonder why "no news is good news." I think that was originally meant to mean that "if you don't hear from me everything is okay" but now it literally means "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!" More appropriate I guess would be ALL NEWS IS BAD NEWS.

I hope you have a great autumn day. I appreciate you stopping by as I always do. I am going to try to find something to eat. I noticed that with my new sleeping schedule I only seem to eat once a day and I know that is bad. I am off to forage through the kitchen. TTTT...MITM (out on the hunt for food!!!!)

Life-Span Alert - - - DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB!!!!!

Hello there and welcome to Monday. I hope the silicon chip inside your head is NOT switched to overload.

Good Monday advise. Even though you may hate your job don't quit today. It's not because it's Monday because if you ARE gonna quit your job I imagine a Monday would be as good a day as possible but try to get fired instead if at all possible. Steve Jobs quit his job and died and now Andy Rooney died shortly after quitting his job. Maybe my whole new theory of not quitting your job unless you want to die shortly thereafter only applies to celebrities but let's wait until we know about this new phenomenon before we test it. But, have you ever noticed how people die shortly after they retire from their jobs quite a bit? I bet Andy Rooney's Rapunzel eyebrows will still grow for another 100 years. I am not one that believes it's bad luck or in bad taste to speak ill of the dead but A) that really isn't that ill and B) we'll see how that works out for me. When I die talk badly about me forever - at least I'll be remembered.

Saturday night Cha Cha and I went out with my buddy Randy and his wife Amy; I guess now we can officially call Amy our friend too. We went to Wildfire in Chicago. I gotta say...pretty damn good. It's always fun to go to the city and it's always fun to eat which is why I am starting to get Fatter Matter again but this place, along with the company, made it even more fun. I will not review it too much because Randy has a blog where he has been on a mission to rate various Chicago steakhouses so I will let him do that. This was his twelfth of the thirteen he is looking to review this year. So go to I'm A Frayed Knott to read his review. I will review my own meal though.... The baked potato was the size of a football. Turns out that footballs don't taste like leather as I would have imagined. It was really good. You might say that if you just ate the inside of the football it wouldn't taste like leather; I am one of those dudes, however, that eats ball and all baby! The outside wouldn't have had rock salt on it if I wasn't supposed to eat it and isn't that where the major nutrients are? Butter and sour cream probably would make a leather shoe taste pretty good though. That's what Matt people always say when they eat everything. I ordered the Fillet Medallion Trio off the specials menu. It consisted of three 3oz. steaks that you could have crusted any of six ways. I went with parmesan-crusted, horseradish-crusted and blue cheese-crusted. In order of preference I have to say the best was blue cheese, the second was horseradish and the third was parmesan. That's all I will say other than we had a great time and Amy and Randy wouldn't even let us pay. I tried...I swear I tried and I tried and I tried to no avail. At least I was able to drive. Thank you Amy and Randy for a great time - now I know what it feels like to be a celebrity blogger/podcaster. I guess that means I cannot quit my job unless I want to die soon.

That toddlin' steakhouse

As I mentioned last week I love my new job. Last night we had quite a bit (QUITE A BIT) of excitement. That's all I can say so think of whatever you find the most exciting thing to you and imagine that happening at your work. Maybe a gross exaggeration but the night went pretty quickly. 

I am doing laundry now and I decided that I am just doing a "quick wash" on the towels. How dirty can towels be? Am I wrong?

I still have lots to do today and it's already noon. Sleeping really does get in the way of my "to do" list quite a bit. I have to get the podcast edited and get it posted and I have to try to get some more shut-eye. The podcast is a little tricky this week because we interviewed Jen St. Martin from Portugal and it was so interesting that the recording is about two hours long. It will surely be more that one show before I am finished I think. I also will have to pick up Fabio at school today because basketball try-outs/practice starts today after school. He's worried about making the team. He has no reason to worry because he's good and he's a 6'-tall 14-year-old who grows about six inches a month. By the time the season starts he should be a 6'6" high school freshman if the current growth-rate continues. I have always found it helpful to doubt yourself a little because it makes you strive to do your best and gives you a little extra "boost" (that wasn't a laundry reference to either actual or in the Dirty Laundry Podcast form).

Have a great rest of your Monday. Thanks for stopping in and to sum up...don't quit your job today, eat steak, read Randy's blog, don't wash your towels very long, pick up your children from their extracurricular activities when they call you, catch up on your dirty laundry podcast before the next one either today or tomorrow and have a nice rest of your Monday. Maybe I should have put the "to do" list first so you could have skipped the rest of the blog and you'd already be half-way done with your list by now....Blog and Learn! TTTT...MITM ( out to do my "todo's" that I do so well) TA!

Dispose of this Blog After Reading (I Can't)

It's Friday and my weekend has already begun except for the part where I sleep before my weekend begins. Today is the fourth day of the NBA season. Everyone is tied except for the fans who are four games back in the league....that number should get larger day after day.

Love that Buick trunk space for kidnapping

I have decided that one of my goals for the next six months is to arrive half-drunk in a strange place. By place I am specifically referring to a strange country. So, let's say by June I want to arrive half-drunk in a strange country. More specifically, I want to be the person who chooses where I am going and arrive there half-drunk. I don't want to get kidnapped and thrown into the trunk of a Buick (I don't know why Buick came to mind but it seems like either that or a Cadillac should be a car you'd get thrown into the trunk of if you're gonna get thrown in the trunk of a car) and driven to an airport and loaded onto a plane in restraints so don't get any ideas Buick and Cadillac owners. If you listened to the most recent Dirty Laundry Podcast and heard the mysterious letter we received maybe my wish will come true via dogsled?

I finished reading a magazine last night and wasn't really sure what to do with it. Why would I feel guilty throwing a magazine away when I am done with it? Does it come from having written for a magazine and newspapers and blogs (well, this one anyway) and knowing what goes into getting them written and published? Do I think it's disrespecting the work? I have so many weird idiotsyncrasies  (I know it's usually idiosyncrasies in most cases but "idiot" seems appropriate when  it is referring to me).

This afternoon on the podcast we are going to talk to Jen St. Martin in Portugal about her paranormal story. Jen said it's okay to use her entire name and she even got permission from other people involved in the story to use their names....the names will not even be changed to protect the innocent. I cannot wait to talk to her about her evil entity and such. I am very intrigued. The show probably won't be up until Sunday or Monday but we'll interview her tonight.

This weekend Cha Cha and I are going to Chicago with my buddy Randy and his wife Amy. Randy is the one who I have gone on a couple of baseball trips with (Mets, Yankees, Nationals, Phillies twice, Orioles). We are talking about our next baseball trip being to Texas (Arlington) and Houston; I think I will wear my Cardinals shirts. Anyway he does a blog also but his is about steak joints. Unlike some blogs his has a specific theme - don't you hate blogs that just ramble on about one thing and then disjointedly just jump to another topic for no apparent reason? His does not do that - he is focused! Before I stopped eating meat for awhile while we were in Brooklyn (Yankees) we went to Peter Luger Steak House. Now that I eat meat again (the last time we were in Philly I didn't even have a cheesesteak - which I regret now even though I did have one the time before when we were in the Philadelphia) he wants to go with Cha Cha and I. I am sure it's to try to trick me into promoting his blog (I'm A Frayed Knott) because I am now an international blogging and podcasting sensation or is phenomenon a better term to describe it? More like annoyance or curiosity I suppose. He must think I am some kind of a weak-minded moron if he thinks I am just going to mention I'm A Frayed Knott and hyperlink it and stuff. His last name is Knott which is why it's called I'm A Frayed Knott. I hope if I do mention it and I blog about our night out, which we all know that I will do, that I will be able to somehow trick him into mentioning Dirty Laundry Podcast and Matt In The Middle on Im' A Frayed Knott.

What the Hell am I suppose to do to stop it?

I heard on the news again today about the meteor that is just going to miss crashing into the Earth. If it's going to miss us why do we even need to know about it? Even if it were gonna hit us and there's nothing we could do about it why would we need to know about it? How much do you want to bet me that the movie Armageddon won't be on some channel sometime this weekend? I guarandamntee it will!

My eye lids are getting pretty heavy. Why does that happen when we are tired? That is a pretty odd phenomenon when you think about it. ENOUGH!!!!!!

Have a great Friday and a super weekend. I may blog tomorrow but you'll just have to be surprised just like I will one of these 5AMs when a limo picks me up and takes me to some Hell's Angels who will drive me to Greenland and deliver me to my igloo and dogsled and team of dogs (you really have to listen to last week's podcast to know what that is all about). Thanks for being here again today - I really, really, really infinity appreciate you. TTTT, Sunday or Monday....MITM (lids closed)

Murder and Mayhem!

What is the world coming to when Justin Bieber is getting more action than Kim Kardashian? Some 20 year old girl, Mariah Yeater is saying that she gave birth to Bieber's back-stage baby. The biggest crime, beides Bieber getting more brown chicken brown cow than me, is that if the baby is found to be Bieber's it's last name will be Yeater-Bieber! Maybe Skeeter Yeater-Bieber?

I am pretty tired having worked the overnight shift again last night. I am getting used to the weird work schedule and to the working nights. I really like the job that I cannot tell you anything about. Cha Cha has gone out with people while I have been working and it appears I have inadvertently generated some mystery and intrigue by not being able to say anything about my job. I would tell you about the job but the job information is on a need-to-know basis. Don't be upset...I haven't even told Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian.

My fantasy football league is getting interesting. I am no longer undefeated. I have lost two games now and I am 6-2 though I am still in first place in my division. We have one of the biggest morons in fantasy football history in our league and he is trading all of his good players away. He is trading his best players for things like: a new set of false teeth, a dribble cup, a dunce cap, a padded cell... you get the drift. He still hasn't even paid his league entrance fee and I believe he owes over $200 to the league. It's really disappointing when one moron ruins a competitive league for everyone by not knowing that Walter Payton is dead so maybe you shouldn't be trading for him this season.

Speaking of weird names (Skeeter Bieber) did you hear that the Earth may be hit by or narrowly be missed by a meteor the size of an aircraft carrier within a week? I guess they are predicting November 8th so what is that Tuesday? The asteroid is called 2005 YU55. What the Hell kind of a name is that? I am less concerned that we may be hit by an asteroid than I am that it's called 2005 YU55. The reason that I am not too concerned about being destroyed by this asteroid is because we survived two Raptures recently as well as a space station that plummeted toward us a couple of months ago. We are indestructible and the sooner you accept that the better-off we'll be. We are impervious to anything short of moronic fantasy football trades - I may have still been thinking about something else there.

Seriously....how does Justin Bieber get more back-stage action than me? That's Ludacris!
I can barely keep my eyes open so I think I am going to get some shut-eye. I have lots to do but it will have to wait a couple of hours. 


Have you seen that very annoying Coupon Suzie? She is pitching a website where you can print off coupons. I hope they have coupons for ink cartridges if you have to print lots of coupons - it's a Ponzi Coupon Scheme. I guess there is a new annoying coupon huckster in town and her name is Kate Gosselin. In case you don't know who Kate Gosselin is she is the woman who had eight of Justin Bieber's babies. I may have part of that wrong but she was on Dancing with the Loose Labia'd Stars a few seasons ago. I don't know how she did on the show but with her credentials I don't know how she would have lost unless that's the same season that Octopusmom was on the show. The shut-eye doesn't seem to be helping so maybe I should go get some while I am not writing a blog. 


I will blog again tomorrow morning and maybe I will write something ahead this time. I appreciate you stopping by. Have a great Thursday I believe it is. Just live the rest of your day asking yourself WWJD (What Would Justin (Bieber) Do and then come on over and meet me backstage. TTTT....MITM (zzzzzzzzzz)

WASTE OF TIME - DO NOT READ!!!

Man, is it the crack of afternoon already? I don't know where this comes from but I think I have discovered that I feel guilty that I have to sleep. I know that is weird but I think it's true. Where in the Hell would something like that come from?

When will all of the political attack advertisements begin? I hate those so much. The Republican Party has already started some of the smearing because they cannot decide who their candidate will be yet. Right now, however, they are attacking each other. That is kind of silly since once they decide on one candidate to represent the party they will all have to pretend that they are behind him/her. I read that outside groups reported to the Federal election Commission that they spent $305 million in 2010 on attack ads. That doesn't even include everything becasue many of the ads don't count as political spending under federal rules. If they don't specifically urge a vote for or against a candidate and air more than 60 days before a general election the groups don't have to report those ads. Can you imagine what could be done for over $305 million dollars for a good cause? And we wonder why a lot of the world hates America.

I am boring myself so I think I am going to call this one quits. I am in some kind of a mood and I don't want it to infect you. It's not a bad mood but it's not a good mood. I don't know what it is but I think I would do better to wait and blog tomorrow. I promised I would blog today and I have fulfilled that promise halfheartedly. Thanks for letting me have the rest of the blog off - we'll both be better served by that.

Have a great rest of your day. Thanks for stopping in here - tomorrow will be a better blog; I promise. How could it not be. TTTT...MITM

Message in a Lego (Man)

Help him find his family

Good morning though the clock says afternoon.

I read last night that a man washed up on the shore in Siesta Key Public Beach in Sarasota, Florida. He is eight feet tall and cannot appear to speak or even communicate with the people who are trying to help him. He doesn't look as thin in photographs as they say he must be. He only weighs 100 pounds which is pretty light for such a tall man. How long was he lost at sea? Did he survive a Fed Ex plane crash? Too bad the NBA isn't going to play this season, at least not right away, because I bet he'd be a great basketball player. If you know anything about this lost man (pictured here) please help him find his home. Maybe he is from another very colorful world and we finally have proof of life on other planets. Just a castaway lost at sea oh!

With the St. Louis Cardinals winning the World Series manager Tony LaRussa has decided to retire from baseball. My guess is that he will turn up I the front office for some Major League team; I predict the Chicago White Sox. Another former Cardinal that they are talking about leaving St. Louis and perhaps winding up in Chicago is Albert Pujols. Many of my Chicago Cubs fan friends are saying her will be a Chicago Cub next year. I guess that would make sense, He has won a couple of World Series' in St. Louis so now he may as well go to a ballpark where he can hit lots of home runs. He won't win a pennant there but he already has a couple. If that happens I think I have discovered a way to aggravate Cubs' fans just as much as that would aggravate most Cardinals' fans. I predict that with LaRussa now gone as manager the Cardinals will hire Ryne Sandburg as their manager for next season. I cannot believe the Cubs haven't given this guy a chance already.  And then the Cardinals will win another one with Ryno as manager and Albert gone.

I feel like I am so out of touch with what is going on in the world. I am alone a lot of the time, but that isn't unusual over the past few years, but now I feel out of touch too. I am glad I write this blog so I can pretend to still be a part of the living, breathing world. It's difficult to explain.

The Halloween Dirty Laundry Podcast is done and available. Speaking of "this world" you get to hear some of the recording of the paranormal investigation that makes me more curious about the "other world." I have so much more recordings that are creepy but I didn't think a whole show of these clips would be that good. We will occasionally put some of them on the show from time to time (do I really need to use "occasionally" and "time to time" in the same sentence?). Next week we are going to a have on a listener who lives in Portugal who is going to talk about some paranormal activity she and her family are living through. Paranormal activity cannot travel across the Atlantic Ocean through a Skype feed can they? are we going to turn into a paranormal podcast? I like our foreMATT that we just talk about anything that comes to mind but I bet there is a definite market for a Paranormal Podcast!

Hit the road Jack but not with thee NBA!

 Kim Kardashian is getting divorced. I am shocked that someone who seemed to marry for ratings would get a divorce. Do you think she just couldn't' bear to spend a whole winter with husband Kris Humpries since the NBA season is probably not going to happen? She probably loved an NBA husband who was gone all winter-long with work-outs and games... but now he will probably be home all winter getting in her buttiness. What's she gonna do with that big ole butt and them donkey legs?

I have lots to do before it's time to head back to work so I will get my big ole donkey butt outta here. Have a great Tuesnight. Thanks a lot for stopping by...TTTT...MITM (TA)!