Matt in the Middle: Most Trendiest-Named Blog Ever!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Most Trendiest-Named Blog Ever!

They all float!

Now it's Wednesday!

Yesterday Kathy Boger posted the winners of class awards for our reunion on our reunion The Facebook page. 30 years ago I was runner-up for Most Humorous. It has taken me 30 years but I finally made it out of the runner-up column and won an award. I was voted Class Clown ("New Class Clown Since Geoff Gillette Couldn't Make the Reunion to Defend His Title," more specifically). I am very honored I think. I am not sure if Class Clown is a promotion or a demotion or just a lateral move but I am just happy to get rid of the "runner-up" part. How do you like them apples Jimmy Kimmel? Now I will have to go to every reunion to defend my title; that's okay because I had a great time (obviously, by my award).

Remember yesterday I told you about how I have been signing my debit card purchases with just an "X"? Yesterday Fabio and I went and saw Captain America: The First Avenger and afterward we stopped at the store because he needed some Axe shampoo and toothpaste and I needed dish soap and something to make for dinner. When we checked-out I let him scan all of the items, swipe the card and I even let him "sign" the "X" in the machine. No problem..."approved." Maybe next time, to further my field research, I will let him do the whole thing himself and wait nearby watching in case things get out of control and someone questions him. I don't know why I am doing this experimentation but sometimes a class clown just has to amuse himself too you know!

Please put on your 3D glasses for the remainder of the blog!

Captain America was pretty darn good. We saw it in 3D and man has 3D come a long way since I last saw a 3D movie - the effects were crazy good in 3D. I would give Captain America 4 stars out of 5 I think but, just to be fair, Captain America was one of my favorite super heroes as a kid. I loved Batman (me and my buddy Mary Miller I just recently found out) and Iron Man too so I have been pretty happy with the crime fighter movies over the last ten years or so. Make sure you stay past the credits because there is a clip there too. We were the only two who stayed - have none of these other nerds been to a Marvel movie ever? There is ALWAYS a scene after the credits!

They showed some of the previews in 3D too. Immortals (looks good), Three Musketeers (looks good), The Amazing Spider Man (looks VERY familiar). They all looked better in 3D. Why can't Hollywood come up with original ideas? Three Musketeers has been done many times and the new Spider Man movie looks like identical to the Tobey Maguire one. Do they have to do all of the films over now just because a new dude is playing Spider Man? We will notice either way. Maybe they just want to redo it in 3D and this is a good time with the actor changing? I think Hollywood is looking for a way to charge us more to watch a movie so this is their new tactic. They will say that 3D costs more to produce and then, one day, we'll find out that it's actually cheaper. Not that Hollywood would lie.

It's funny to me how YouTube has become one of our major news sources. Every news show and talk show plays YouTube videos it seems. It's pretty smart of them to let us do most of the work for them I suppose but they still have commercials! I am not really into watching somebody's home movies that I don't even know. Yes, your pet pretending to talk or your baby talking to the toaster may be funny to you but we don't know your baby or your pet. This is the new version of America's Funniest Home Videos without the zany Bob Saget.

I seem a little cynical today don't I?

Can you guess what the hottest girl's baby name is through the first half of 2011? Of course, you knew the hottest girl baby name so far this year is Pippa! Mila is popular now too. How come nobody ever named their daughter Sigourney or Charo? I guess they're all better than Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette) or Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee) or Kal-el Coppola (Nick Cage). I would have thought he would have gone with Elvis.

Alright, I have rambled on long enough. I have lots to get done so I had better get to it. Have a nice Humpday; it appears to be a little cooler here in my part of the MIDDLEwest so maybe I can mow the front yard without it turning brown today. TTTT...MITM (vapor)

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Most Trendiest-Named Blog Ever!

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