Wham Bam Thank You Blog!

I know that for the last couple of days I thought that I may have been coming down with something but, this morning, I feel 100%. No more cough, no more sneezing... it's a miracle. On an unrelated note - I got my days off approved for this Saturday and Sunday and I am now on my FOUR DAY weekend. Then, when I go back to work Monday (the actual Monday), I will only have to work three days before another weekend. I love comp time.

Another 88 downloads from Vietnam for Dirty Laundry Podcast yesterday and now the podcast is #27 in the Comedy category. That is the highest we have been since switching to Comedy.

It's 07:33 and I have to get some sleep so I can get the show edited and uploaded today. I will finish this later while I am editing...

Now it is 20:18 and a lot has happened since I wrote that last paragraph. I slept for about five hours (nice). I edited the whole show that we recorded yesterday; the new Dirty Laundry Podcast is uploading now and will probably be up by the time I click "publish" for this blog. We went to our homeowners association meeting. Man, do some of those people take some of this stupid stuff seriously. If we included people that not everybody knows a candidates for the new club / feature we started on the show this week (Douchebag of the County) there was one dude at the meeting that would be a lifetime member. Holy mackerel. Please listen to the show and nominate people for the distinguished dishonor of become a member of this great club.

I need to get a new upstairs studio chair

Now it is 22:17 and I am officially beginning my four day weekend because 22:00 is my starting night each evening. Now I will be able to finish writing this and hit the hay. I am really tired. I need to get one of those desk chairs (for the lack of a better word) whereby you kneel rather than sit. My ass is so bony that sitting this long recording, editing and uploading the podcast really frosts aches my ass. I guess I could just get another chair. The chair in the downstairs studio is very comfy but I have been doing the editing and uploading in the upstairs studio and the chair here isn't so plush. I even have two thick pillows but, that doesn't make any difference after five or six hours.

If I blog tomorrow it will probably be very late and froma place with 50 degree temperatures. That is a big deal. I am going to sleep now. I will pack in the morning. Have a great night. I am happy you were here. TTTT (late - most likely)...MITM (out) TA! (didn't proof read if case you didn't figure that out) Double TA!

Never Stopped Me Before!

Hopefully!

I have nothing to stay but that has never stopped me before. Maybe it's because of the podcast? We just got done recording the new show. I am going to try to edit it tomorrow and have it up before I leave town for the weekend. I sure hope I get my days-off approved tonight. Cough cough sneeze sneeze. Just a quick podcast update - that country that has downloaded our show like crazy for the past six days downloaded us another 98 times yesterday. Are you impressed that I didn't link Dirty Laundry Podcast so far?

Thank goodness it's Friday!

It sure did get cold here again last night. I am not sure if this Winter is ever gonna end in the MIDDLEwest. I hope the reports I hear of the 50 degree weather where I am headed this weekend are correct. How sad is it that I am this excited about 50 degrees? I think I may take a couple of pairs of shorts. It is pairS of shorts or pair of shorts? Pair seems plural by itself but if you pluralize a plural does that make it a double plural?

I wonder if there will be cake (by cake I mean booze)

Tomorrow night is the annual meeting of our Homeowner's Association. I think Cha Cha and I are going to go. I figure I can criticize more if I go to one of these meetings. I am going with an open mind in hopes that I have been wrong about many things and many people. They have always had the meetings on Thursday nights for some reason and, up until very recently, I worked Thursday nights. No MATTer what happens I will get something to blog about.

20 minutes until I try to sleep before work so I had better be done now. I will probably blog again tomorrow while the show is uploading. Thanks for stopping-in. Sorry today may have been a little sparse. I'll try to make up for it tomorrow. Have a great Friday Hump Day. TTTT..MITM (zout - that's right I said zout!) TA!

I Will Sleep While You Read!

Probably also listening to Dirty laundry Podcast

Why do we blow on hot food to cool it off? When I blog "we" I guess maybe it's the "Royal We" because I am talking about me. Isn't our breath warm? Even if it's cooler than the food that I am trying to cool off I am sure it doesn't work. Funny that, even blogging that right now, I still just blew on my food. Maybe it is more of a habit or a tradition than a cooling process huh?

It has been nice having a little bit better temperatures outside over the past week. It was still cold though better. Now it is, once again, supposed to get back down to about ten below zero today or tonight. I am happy that I will be in 50 degree (above zero) temperatures in about four days. You know I will be in shorts!

On the way home from work yesterday I had to decide whether to get fuel or wait and see how the price fluctuates. It is the time of year when the fuel prices change EVERY SINGLE DAY! It is just like playing the stock market. The price had been $3.49/gallon and had dropped to $3.45/gallon. If I got gas would I be kicking myself later that night because the price dropped even further? I decided to get $30.00 worth. Last night, when I headed back to work, the price had risen to $3.59. It went up 15 cents per gallon. I guess my decision was pretty good this time.

Dirty Laundry Podcast is now #33 in the Comedy category. That is our new highest ranking. This is mostly due to yet another 98 downloads from the country that seems to have really great taste. I am afraid that this is some kind of a glitch but, we'll ride it for as long as we can. If you listened to the newest show you know what country this is. We are probably going to record the next show today and I should have it up by the end of the day Thursday. That is the plan as it sits now but, you know what they say about best laid plans. I'd like to have it up before I get out of Dodge this week.

I think I am going go get some sleep. I just got home from work about an hour ago and I am pretty tired. I usually sleep for 4-6 hours now and then get up and do what I do during the day (my night) and then I get a few mre hours of sleep around 17:00 or 18:00. I made Fabio's lunch, cleaned the kitchen, checked the DLP stats and wrote this blog. I am pretty sleepy; I think the cold air and working while most of the rest of the MIDDLEwest is sleeping makes me sleepy. Thanks for spending a few moments here today. I cannot think of a reason I wouldn't blog tomorrow. I am not going to proofread this today - actually, as you can probably figure out. I rarely proofread before posting the blog. TTTT...MITM (out)! I am seriously falling asleep while typing. TA!

Don't Cross the Streams

I cannot believe Harold Ramis died.  He died from complications from auto-immune inflammatory vasculitis. I am not sure what that is but, I guess it kills you. The word "complictions" is never good. He brought us some of the best comedy of my life-time: SCTV, Stripes, Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, Meatballs, Back To School, Animal House... They weren't all cinematic masterpieces but they were the films that I could quote every line from while I was in college. They were cinema gold to me. He died in his home in the Chicago area; I thought he was Canadian for some reason. Maybe it was the SCTV connection? He always had that smart-ass smirk on his face. Every time I saw him I smiled. I wonder what this will do to Ghostbusters 3? If it does come out and it was filmed while he was still alive I will probably watch it. But, a Ghostbusters film without Dr. Egon Spengler is pointless. Sometimes we take people for granted in our busy lives. I wish that could change but, it will not.

Another 95 downloads from the same country that seems to have Dirty Laundry Podcast Fever and now they have downloaded the show 417 times in the past four days. I hope it never stops!

The Olympics are over? I didn't get to watch even one second of anything. It's a joke now that professionals can compete. I suppose it kind of levels the playing field from the days when the Soviet countries had athletes that did their sports for a living. I call that professional but they were allowed to compete against our college athletes. That's why The Miracle On Ice was so awesome. Now I could not care less about The Olympics. Why do some people say "I could care less?"

It used to take me about 20 minutes to write this blog. Now it seems to take me about 20 hours.

I don't know if it was yesterday or the day before when I talked about the movie 42. Now I am watching Glory. I have always loved this film too. You cannot go wrong with Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington and Matt Broderick. Did I forget to mention that Cliff De Young is in this film too? Yes, THE Cliff De Young! Yep, another history-based film that I love. I saw a bit of the film The Butler the other night/day (I am leaving off the writer's name that is in the actual title - that makes it sound like one of those old TV mini-series too me). Of the ten or fifteen minutes I have seen it looks really good. I may even deal with Oprah being in it to watch this one.

All this talk of movies has made me realize that The Academy Awards are in six days. We haven't even done our predictions for the awards yet. We are gonna have to record the new podcast Thursday so we can get it up by Sunday so that you will know that when none of my predictions are correct it is not an act; I really am this stupid. Don't worry, I have never had problem getting it up under pressure.

I am hungry. I think it is my head and not my stomach that is hungry though. I am cooking some peas right now. So far today I have had a Weight Watchers turkey Canadian (not where Harold Ramis is from) bacon egg muffin thingy, some cole slaw, an apple and a banana. The peas are done so I will be right back after I doctor them up with dill, pepper and celery salt. Ha, Canadian Bacon starred John Candy (who was supposed to be in Ghostbusters but he died and was in SCTV) and Jim Belushi (who was the brother of that guy in Animal House) - weird!


I cannot believe it's hump-day already. I think this coming weekend is the weekend we are heading down to Southern Illinois to see Splenda again. I hope I get my days-off approved by then. I am not sure if my Sgt. is back tonight or tomorrow night but, it has never been an issue in the past. I miss very little work due to illness... so I always get the days off that I request. I do feel a little something coming-on though cough cough sneeze sneeze. It would be a shame if I were sick Saturday and Sunday. Man, maybe we need to record the podcast tomorrow so I can get it edited in time. That's why I have a blog - it forces me to think. I knew there was a reason.

I have expelled too much brain power and I am spent. Thanks a lot for stopping-in. Keep downloading the podcast country that starts with a V that has loaded Dirty Laundry about 100 times per day for the last four days. I am sure I will blog again tomorrow; I always have a lot on my mind fingers and don't know how to shut it off. Have a great rest of whatever part of your day you have left. TTTT...MITM (out)!

Jack Benny, You Are Going Down!

I sure wish HBO would stop playing the movie 42. I saw it in the theater, I own the DVD so, why do I want them to stop showing this movie? Because every time I see that it is on I watch it again. As you may have guessed, as I write the blog, 42 is on in front of me. I suppose they are playing it a lot because it's Black History Month and, it seems like it is on more than it is because we have eight HBO channels; I wonder if I would like it as much on HBO Latino? I guarantee I could still tell EXACTLY what they were saying. I abhor prejudice and racism and this was one of the great defining moments in the black struggle. I know people like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Jesus, Medger Evers, Rosa Parks, the Freedom Riders, the young people who were brave enough to enter college in Birmingham the year I was born and hundreds and hundreds more that we will never know the names of... were huge but Jackie Robinson was just as large a part in the waking-up of Americans as anyone. Maybe more so since baseball has always been called "America's pastime."

I am eating some Smart Ones loaded potato soup because I am getting too fat again. I love food and it shows. I read the box for the ingredients before I cooked it but I guess I should have been wearing my glasses. There are tiny bits of bacon or ham or some other part of the pig in this soup. They are as small as the tip of a pencil lead but they are there. I don't eat pork or beef... I guess today I do. It's not a religious thing or an allergy thing so, it's not the end of the world but, this soup is good and this will be my last one. My last souper LOL. I know what you may be thinking... "it's good because it has pig in it." It would have been just as good with chicken in it I think. Or, no meat at all. I should have just stopped at the steamed broccoli I guess.

We're coming for you Benny!

Dirty Laundry Podcast went up another nine spots in the Comedy category. That puts us at #36 in Comedy. 132 more downloads yesterday: 20 in the USA, 1 in The Netherlands, 4 in the UK, 2 in Thailand and another 105 from the unlikely country that we talked about on this week's show. That is 299 downloads from this one country in the past three days. I am obsessed in knowing why we are so popular in this country all of a sudden. I cannot wait until tomorrow to see today's numbers; I just uploaded the show yesterday and the second day has always been the day where we get the most action. I am like a kid on Christmas Eve and, if you read the blog regularly, you know how much I like to wait to open my Christmas gifts. I just looked at some of the 31 flavors ahead of us and one is The Jack Benny Show podcast (at #2). I have mixed feelings about that one. Firstly, it's Jack Benny  so, that's cool but secondly, we are losing to a dude that has been dead since I was ten-years-old. We are gonna take you down Jack Benny. And then Rochester is gonna come work with us. I never, ever, ever thought I would say that I was competing against Jack Benny. Okay, maybe I am obsessing over this but that's what I do.

Why is George Lopez getting another series (Saint George)? It looks the same as The George Lopez show only he has a different family and a different job. Some of his stuff was funny when he did stand-up but, he grew old kinda quickly. I will not be watching this show. At least he isn't ahead of us in the podcast world.

I am tired of seeing photos on Facebook of Girl Scouts selling cookies outside of medical marijuana shops. I get it already. Where are the Cub Scouts and their popcorn? I would recommend the pre-popped corn in those tin cans. Those cans would come in handy for the customers' stashes too. Cookie boxes just destroy the planet.

I am running out of steam so I will end it here. I will try to write again tomorrow (your Monday, most likely). If you get in a funk listen to the show before we get to number one so you can say, "I listened to them when they couldn't even beat a dead violin-playing comedian." I like Jack Benny. Have a great rest of your weekend and the beginning of tomorrow. Thanks a lot for listening and reading. TTTT (sometime)... MITM (out) TA!

Happy Birthday if This is Your Birthday

Where in the World are we now?

I was unsure if I would blog today but, I have to share something with you (and the future me when I get senile and wonder what I was like when I was MIDDLE aged). Dirty Laundry Podcast received another 100 downloads from a country that I would never imagine would be this into us.Within the last two days this country has downloaded our show 194 times. Downloads seem to be a big deal. Plays are good, visits are good, mobile plays are good but downloads, to me, seem more permanent. It bumped us all the way to number 45 in the Comedy category now; we have moved up another 31 spots over night. Right now I am editing the show we recorded last night and I will make this a cliff-hanger so you have to listen to the show to find out which country is so into us right now. I am just waiting to find out that it is a statistical error and the numbers get corrected; why can't we, as humans, just accept that maybe we are as entertaining as others think we are? I cannot wait to see if we continue our move toward the top!

Okay, it has been about four hours since I wrote that last paragraph and the new show is ready for consumption. Just use that red link up there to finally get your curiosity squelched. I love the new song we play on this week's show. It's a new musical group to the show and we will end up playing a lot before stop podcasting. They have been around since the mid-90's so they have plenty of music for us to play. I have to try to calm down; right now I am on a podcast high. I hope you can get the contact high.

I have to work in 4 1/2 hours. It will be Monday morning soon for me.

I want to wish a happy birthday to The Lost Sock a few hours early. I am not sure if he still reads the blog but, just in case he does... He is one of the really good ones. If you know him make sure to wish him a great day!

I don't really know what's going on today because I have had my head buried in pod for the last six hours. I heard that we may be getting three or four more inches of snow Monday. I guess we need to replace the snow that has melted or washed-away by rain the last couple of days. I am so sick of Winter in the MIDDLEwest. I curse my ancestors. They must have come here in the Spring or Autumn and thought, "wow, this is great weather and what wonderful land for farming..." If you ever decide to settle somewhere else go at the worst time of year. Maybe if one of them would have been smart enough to invent the Internet they could have done some research before they settled. There is a reason they call it "settled!"

The word "premiere" is used to loosely these days. AMC just had a commercial on that said they are showing Gladiator and it is a 'Premiere Event." I guarantee they have shown this film many times (one of my favorites, by the way). But there is some stupid new arm wrestling show on after the movie so, I guess that makes it an event. They take us for morons.

I had better end. I need to get a few winks before I have to work through the cold night. Thanks a lot for stopping by. I will probably blog again tomorrow since this one is kinda sparse. In the meantime there is at least one podcast that should keep you entertained. What else do you have to do on a Saturday night anyway? Think of the money I will save you. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

Blog to See the Wizard!

I am sitting in the front room of the house (not sure what this room is called) just waiting for Guffman the garbage man. The winds have been whipping all night long (did you just hear Lionel Richie's voice in your head too?) so, I didn't want to take the garbage can outside and litter the entire neighborhood. When I see the garbage removal technician across the street I will head to the garage and take the thing out to him and then return it to the garage upon it's emptying. I feel like Bieber's or Miley's body guard - baby-sitting trash.

I am so excited that we are going to get to play music of a group that Cha Cha and I have become fans on recently. I am not going to reveal the group now but, I am sure you will enjoy their music. It is most likely someone you have not heard of before. Those are the ones we like to bring to you. This is very difficult for me not to tell you who they are; remember, I am the guy who once unwrapped his Christmas gift and rewrapped it before Christmas so I knew what it was. This was a LONG time ago and I have grown a lot since then. One of this groups songs is currently the theme song for a television show that has recently changed my life. Seriously, this show has LITERALLY changed my life. If you listen to Dirty Laundry Podcast you are familiar with Forest Sun and Ingrid Serban and their great music and big hearts. These people remind us of them in many ways.

As long as I am blogging about Dirty Laundry Podcast... yesterday was a big day for our numbers. We usually get: 30-40 visits a day, 10-12 embeds a day, 12-15 plays a day and 18-30 downloads a day. For some reason the show is starting to take-off. It may be a temporary thing but, whatever it is I am excited about it. We got 146 downloads yesterday alone; that's up 132 from the previous day. Over the past week several other podcasts have requested to be friends with us. When I say several I am talking like 20. Were we featured someplace that I was not aware of? Whatever the reason for this spike I am excited. I'd like to know what we did so we could keep doing it. I guess we will just keep doing what we do. We are #76 in the comedy category now. That is the highest we have been since switching to Comedy. #76 in the world is pretty great. "76 That's The Spirit" I used to have a T-shirt that said that back in 1976. We reached #1 in Philosophy and then wanted to set the bar higher by switching to the much more popular and populated category. Maybe you all are telling your friends and it's the Faberge Organics method of marketing? Whatever it is - thank you for your support and help. Trying to be #1 in Comedy!

Garbage watch is done. I met the trash collector (Kanye West though he was Caucasian) out front and the trash thingy is safely in the garage. On the way back to the garage I picked up the garbage of my neighbors that had blown into our yard and I already have a nice start to next week's recycling trash collection. I know they all put up with my garbage from time to time too.

I have a meeting this afternoon (11:30 actually) and have to take the Fiat because I feel better having Fabio take the 4Runner to school (bigger, 4-wheel drive, safer, older, already has a lot of dings...). The 4Runner is the Steve Austin of vehicles. The Fiat is very fun to drive but I am worried that I might wind-up in the merry old land of Oz. Also, the convertible top is a bit noisy, even when closed, in the high winds. If I open the top today I guarantee I would get some good air.

I think I had better call it a wrap. It's already 10:00 and I have to get a few things done, get showered and head-off to my meeting. We will probably record the show today/tonight too. I will let you know when it is up because I am sure you are just peeing your pantaloons with anticipation of the new music. Thank you for stopping in and for making our podcast numbers what they are. I really appreciate you very much. Have a great day as I know I will (my only full day off). I am pretty sure I will blog again tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (off to see the wizard). TA!

A Belly-Acher of a Blog!

This is my 981st blog. Matt In The Middle #1000 should happen just about the time that Spring comes in like a like a wet, slightly frozen, zombie worm or penis fish (yes, they both exist). I will not be offended if you Google them. You'd think that I'd have something interesting to say by now wouldn't you? Mark Twain once said, "it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool than to blog and remove all doubt" or something like that. Who knew he was so forward-thinking that he predicted blogs? Sam Clemens is one of my favorite, if not THE favorite, characters in all of history. You would have thought that I would have taken his advise.

Last night was quite a crazy night at work. I believe I saw at least three seasons occur. There was: snow and rain and frozen rain and rainy snow and snow fro and fro snow and lightning and thunder and thunder snow and snowy lightning and then streets flooded. By the time I headed home most of it had stopped other than the flooding part. The first thing I did when I got home was head down to the basement to make sure there was no moisture. Thankfully, everything checked-out. A couple of years ago I replaced our sump pump with a very high efficiency pump that could probably pump-out Lake Michigan so, I wasn't too worried. I used to work in the basement business and I saw many things that made me very anal about basement dryness. A wet basement is like wet feet; once they are wet it's crisis time for the rest of the entire entity.

I am in a pretty good place mentally right now. My weekend has begun - always a great thing and I am going to get to see Splenda in a couple of weeks. The weather is where I like it too. I have been a huge fan of storms my entire life; I am not sure what that one is about. I don't mind driving in storms, I like golfing in the rain, I don't mind being outside in storms... I hope to die like they died in The Perfect Storm. I think I may have talked here about the time that Cha Cha and I were in Key West. One of my happiest moments was when it was pouring outside and we sat at the open-air bar right on the pier in the Conch Republic Seafood Company and drank margaritas and ate conch fritters for a couple of hours. Maybe I equate storms with margaritas and coch fritter now huh? Cha Cha's dad and I used to sit on the back deck of their house and watch storms come in across the corn fields. There would be tornado warnings and vicious weather all around us and we'd just sit there and watch. He had been a farmer most of his life so, of course, he had a great appreciation for nature and weather. It drove Cha Cha's mom nuts because she, like most people, did not like tornadoes; I think she may have thought of me as a tornado (I take that as a compliment). Some of the time I am forced to work in pouring-down rain or worse and most of my co-workers belly-ache (I need to try to bring that saying back again) about it. Rain-on Mother Nature and stay humming sump pump.

You know that voice in your head that translates your thought to you? I am trying to figure out if mine has the same sounding voice than the one that comes from my vocal chords or it has it's own voice. I cannot decide. I am going to try to give it a sexy woman voice.

The other day Jeff was out in the backyard. I installed a series of lines that we clip him to so he can run around the back yard. We will probably be fencing in the backyard in the Spring. The yard is over half fenced in already so, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. We fenced in part of it a couple of years ago when the people next door put in a pool near our property line without fencing it in. Good money spent because, now they are divorced and the house has sat empty for about two years. It's a semi-above-ground pool that, in my opinion looks like crap. Not super selling points. Anyway, getting back to what I started talking about (sorry, Sam Clemens). I called Jeff and he was not coming in so, I stepped outside and made a snowball and threw it at him to get his attention. As it was flying in his direction he turned and caught it in his mouth. Kind of like an F-U! I laughed and then made another snowball and hurled it and he did the same thing. Then he turned and faced me like "bring it on fat boy!" I ended up making big ones and throwing them, small ones and throwing them, tight ones, loose ones... I threw them and he caught every one in his mouth with snow exploding all over his face. I called Fabio out to see it and then we were both firing snowballs at this phenom. He'd then just get ready for the next one. He loved it! When the snow turns from ice back into snow again I am going to video it so I can show you.

Jeff's a baller - a snow baller!

This is getting long and I was going to clean the refrigerator out today (garbage night) so I had better wrap this one up. Thanks a lot for reading my wordy paragraphs. I usually try to keep them shorter but, I am excited about the weekend; Everybody's Bloggin' For The Weekend! I think Cha Cha and I may go out tonight. The real-life Thirsty Thursday seems to be our date night these days. If you're looking to hang-out with a couple of world-wide podcast sensations hit me up and I'll let you know where we are headed (still undetermined at this time). Have a great night. I will probably blog tomorrow because it seems I am in a wordy mode right now. TTTT...MITM (done, finally) TA!

I almost forgot - be sure to listen to the new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast! Double TA!

It's a Blog About Nothing!

I may be that last one on Earth to figure this out

I just saw a posting that stated something about the fact that "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts." I will wait a moment before I go on so you can verify that is true..... That explains a lot.

I am finally editing the new Load of Dirty Laundry Podcast. I put the link in red, white and blue because it is unpatriotic not to listen to the podcast. I think red, white & blue are the colors of most flags in the world aren't they? England, USA, Australia...those are some of this biggies anyway so, I will say that I am correct. I am finding it difficult to write a blog and editing a podcast simultaneously. I know Howard Stern couldn't do it. And he calls himself The King of All Media!

Now it is tomorrow - you know what I mean and, the podcast has been up since yesterday and the blog is just now up. I am very forward-thinking because, as I type this, it is not up but, as you read this, it is up. Turns out that it was a bit more tricky than I had surmised. I apologize to Howard Stern for any shadow I may have cast on his abilities to multi-task. He has people though - I need people!

It appears that conjunctivitis has reared her ugly head in this house. I am not the victim and I do not intend to become Pink in the Middle. I am going to try to keep my distance and stay away from all pink things. I would say that pink is among my favorite colors but, in this case, I will have to fight the urge to embrace the pink. Full-disclosure = I like Alecia Beth Moore a lot too. I think the conjunctivitis may just be a conspiracy to not have to take the garbage out tomorrow.

There are so many things going on at work but, I cannot talk about hardly any of them. I sort of know now how it must be to be Bruce Wayne and be at a party and not be able to talk about the things that actually occupy most of your waking time. I am not saying that Mattman and Batman are that similar but, I am not saying that we are that dissimilar either. Though I always thought that Tony Stark being so open about being Iron Man was stupid, I understand why he would do that. It must be so liberating to talk about all of that life-saving stuff so openly rather than having to keep it all to himself.

As I have been predicting for months, we now have a great chance of getting flooding. I wonder if Noah built the ark after a great snow. Do you suppose there was ever snow in Mesopotamia? I doubt it since that is modern day Kuwait and Iraq. Maybe he was just bored and got lucky. It could just have been an attempt to make the first travelling zoo. Maybe he was a circus man?

I am going to end this now. I seem to be just babbling. In other words, it's blog as usual. I am so happy that tonight is my Friday morning. and early tomorrow morning is my Friday night. I think we are heading back down to the home of my Alma Mater in a couple of weeks. Maybe we should take the train and try to podcast on a train this time? The podcast we did in the car didn't come out as well as I had hoped but, no pod not glory. Have a great your Wednesday. Thanks a lot for stopping-in. Thank you, too for listening to the podcast.

Mr. Wide Awake & Humping

It's 02:29 and I am wide awake; I would prefer to be wide asleep. I was pretty much a slug yesterday. I vacuumed out the Fiat and I learned one thing. If it is 18 degrees Fahrenheit and you are vacuuming a tiny car outside you should wear gloves. I am not sure about 19 degrees and a regular size car but, at 18 and below, I recommend gloves. I may try this with the 4Runner and report my findings. I should have vacuumed in the garage. My hands hurt for about an hour; I am such a delicate flower. After all of the terribly cold weather this winter I mistook 18 degrees for warm. Two A.M. isn't starting the day off too exciting is it? I will probably sleep again before the sun comes up. I have to be at work in twenty hours (actually 19 1/2 hours). In that time I have to get a podcast recorded. I guess I wore Cha Cha out with all of the Valentine's Day Eve festivities because after working all day she fell asleep on the couch. We are just a day ahead of everyone else though she worked all day Friday (she works seven days a week most weeks). I did go to the Post Office and the grocery store yesterday too. 100 years ago that stuff would have taken me all day but, now doing those three things makes me a slug.

My Monday morning is only hours away - that is depressing. Saturday night (Monday morning to me) isn't supposed to be depressing. I am scheduled to be on foot patrol tonight so, I hope it is warmer than 18 degrees. I will have gloves on though.

Why have boomerangs come up in my life twice from two entirely different areas in the past week? I don't think I have thought about or heard the word boomerang in about nine years (just guessing on the time). I have always liked the boomerang. I can throw one pretty well; at least I could have over nine years ago. Is the boomerang making an insurgence? Other than in the outback of Australia I don't find the reason behind a boomerang. I guess it is like the Australian Frisbee. Just the opposite really since the boomerang came a lot sooner and the Frisbee isn't quite as well-trained.

Where in the Hell is the remote? Maybe I should invent a television remote control boomerang?

It is 03:34 now and I am going to try to sleep for a couple of hours. It will seem like milliseconds to you though (unless I die in my sleep). If I do die in my sleep, however, you will never read this to know that I thought about you right before I died. It would be cool to have a devise to know what people's last thoughts were. I am going to work on inventing that. Can you imagine how many crimes that would solve? I bet there would be lots of reasons not to have something like that. Okay, I can tell that I am tired. ZZZZZZZ....

05:02 and still WIDE awake.

It is now 17:14 and I have to try to get back to sleep for a couple of hours before work. Between then and now I: recorded Dirty Laundry Podcast with Cha Cha (will try to get it up by Monday - that's what he said), we took Jeff to the new dog park in town at Katz Park (what kind of a joke is it to put a dog park in Katz Park?), we had lunch at Portillo's and got to see our buddy Greg for a few minutes (I had the chopped salad without the bacon) and then we went and bought the carpeting for Fabio's new room in the basement. In case you were wondering we did bring Jeff home before we did this stops after the dog park.

Jeff loved the dog park. He was the smallest dog there at about 50 pounds. He was also the fastest and horniest dog there. He humped all the other eleven dogs that were at the park at least once each. He was like a serial rapist. Everybody there knew his name because I kept yelling, "JEFF!" He has been fixed for several months; how long does it take for that male-dominance thing to wear-off?

It's 17:29 now so, I am going to try to get to sleep. Thanks a lot , as always, for hanging-out here for a few minutes. I will let you know when the new show is ready but, in the meantime, make sure you're caught up on the past 142 shows. Have a great rest of YOUR weekend as I start my week. I probably won't blog tomorrow because after I wake-up I will work on editing the show and maybe taking Hugh Ruffner back to the dog park. I need to get him a smoking jacket and a pipe. TTTMonday (most likely). MITM (out) TA!

Always Remember!

I woke up this morning, which is usually a good thing, and I had a tremendous feeling of dread. It lasted for about five minutes before I realized that it is only Friday - not Saturday. At first I lied in bed and thought, "the weekend is over already?!" I "lied" in bed because I still have another day left in my weekend. I bet a lot of people lie in bed on Valentine's Day. Now I know the feeling I can expect tomorrow morning when it IS the day to go back to work. Part of the problem with the day's confusion was that Fabio doesn't have school today because of  "teacher's institute" or whatever they call it these days. Monday is President's Day and they have no school that day so, somehow, teachers manage to get extra days thrown in to make for four-day weekends. I am not slighting the teachers; you gotta get whatever you can get whenever you can get it.

If at all possible avoid the movie Parental Guidance. It is one of the worst pieces of crap that I have ever seen. Yet,  I cannot turn it off because I cannot believe how bad it is. Actually, Grown-Ups may have been a bigger piece of doody than this one; could be a tie. Bette Midler and Billy Crystal both have talent but, acting doesn't appear to be one of those talents. Billy should have stuck with stand-up and Bette should just sing. Oh, there is a 60-year-old Long Duk Dong (good guess on the age MITM - I just checked IMDB and Gedde Watanabe, who played Dong, is 59).

Cha Cha and I are going to record the new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast tonight. What better way to spend Valentine's Day than to do something you love to do with the co-host of your life? She must be thrilled. We did some of the traditional V.D. stuff last night; dinner and a movie. Because of that we have more to talk about on the show: Cha Cha's Whining, Matt News, a restaurant review and a movie review.

I think that South Carolina has the best state flag. Arizona's and California's are both pretty cool too. I am not sure where that came from but, it is something I have always felt very strongly about.

Six years ago this afternoon (15:05) was probably one of the worst days ever in the town that I have called home for 20+ years. I remember it like it was last night. 25 people were injured (most of them shot) and five young people were violently murdered before the shooter killed himself. As I drove home from work that day I could see the helicopters circling above the town. I switched the radio station to the Chicago all-news station and heard what was going on. From one moment listening to some pop song to the next moment feeling like someone took a sledgehammer to my chest. When I got out of my truck at home it sounded like an audio clip from Apocalypse Now when the helicopters were storming the beach. The shooting was all over but all I could hear was helicopter blades whirling. I now work at the same place where this craziness (literally) occurred. Some nights I walk alone in the halls where these people were murdered (though it is a new building it has the same name and is on the same site). I read their names on the wall that was erected to remember them. Some times I will even sit on the bench for a few minutes facing their names and think about these young people that I never knew. I guess it could be called a reflecting wall - at least for me. Every time I walk past this wall I always slow down and read their names and I think about how the parents and loved-ones must have felt receiving the news of their child/sister/brother/cousin/mother... being killed. That, to me, would be the ultimate horror. Even though I am not a religious person I will occasionally say a silent prayer (I figure it can't hurt anything other than my hypocrisy). I try to imagine the fear that all of the people that were in the vicinity must have felt. I know I have always been a bleeding-heart and that is not going to ever change. I never understood why being a caring, sensitive person was a bad thing. I am proud that the job that I have now, in some small way, helps prevent things like this from happening again. This is one of the reasons why I take my duties so seriously.

What's the deal with Illinois and violence on Valentine's Day? Did Al Capone (responsible for the St. Valentine's Day Massacre) and this guy (I will not dignify him by using his name) not feel loved?

I have got to get some stuff done. I took a break while writing this and went and cleaned the kitchen. The dishes are being washed in the dishwasher right now. While I was down there I vacuumed the stove. I am talking about the stove top! Who in the Hell has to vacuum a stove? A person who goes out and leaves a 17-year-old and a nutty 60-pound puppy Home Alone! Have a great Valentine's Day. I am happy to have you as a valentine. TTTT...MITM (bleeding heart out) TA! Just now thought of the bleeding heart / Valentine's Day connection - fate is a funny funny thing. 

Happy Valentine's Day Eve

So I got that goin' for me which is nice

What does someone who lives the the MIDDLEwest do in the MIDDLE (end of the middle really) of the winter when it gets all the way up to 26 degrees? He washes the car - duh. I am taking my best girl of 32 years out for Valentine's Day tonight and being seen with me is punishment enough; she may as well be in a clean car. We are going to Cooper's Hawk in Naperville. It is right up her alley. They have wine tastings and the menu pairs food items with wine selections. I know it's all a ploy to get the tab a bit higher but, as Americans, we know that is pretty much what everything is in our country...trying to up the price. I may have to go with bloody marys - what seems very Valentiney! I bet we'll talk about it on Dirty Laundry Podcast when we record the new one in a day or two; especially since there is Cha Cha's Whining to do. I think we're gonna see a movie too; probably The Monuments Men. How can you go wrong with Gerorge Cooney, Matt Damon (Matt News?), Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray and John Goodman? Not to mention Nick Clooney (Rosemary Clooney's brother). This is the dude that got George to be on The Facts of Life which led to him being on Rosanne where he met John Goodman which led to The Monuments Men. Without Nick Clooney - no movie to watch tonight. I guess George was on E/R before Facts of Life huh? Never mind. I think we'll see the 21:15 show at the Randall Goodrich 16 Theater. It's at Hollywood Palms at 21:00 too. The last time we were there to see,  American Hustle they were packed though. But, this is Thursday for most people and, tomorrow is the real Valentine's Day so, they may not be too busy. Thirsty Thursday may lead us to The Palms.

So many decisions in life. Do I check out the menu on line and be prepared or, do I just wait and decide at the restaurant? Is part of the excitement - the chase/hunt (deciding)? Is it all about the capture (ordering)?

If you haven't listened to the new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast it is ready. 179 people have already downloaded it in the last two days. They're gonna be talking about it and, if you haven't listened yet, you're gonna be an outcast. Don't be an outcast - listen to Dirty Laundry Podcast.

Man, I am happy that I am off the next couple of days. I like my job a lot but, some of the people I work with work harder trying to get out of work than they would if they just did the work. I know people in your life aren't that way. Why can't people just do what they are supposed to do? I guess it makes the rest of us look better but, what good comes of that? We are Union (M.A.P.) so, there cannot be any extra compensation.

I have a movie that I have never heard of as background noise but, it is becoming foreground noise. It is pretty good. It is called The Place Beyond the Pines. It starts Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper and Eva Mendez - all pretty good actors so, I am surprised that I had never heard of It before. There are so many films and television shows... that I guess it would be difficult to have heard of every one of them huh? Ray Liotta just showed-up for the first time after an hour into the film; I bet the movie is gonna change directions right about here.

I have to start getting ready. I will probably blog again tomorrow. Just in case, I hope you have a great Valentine's Day. I appreciate you very much. Maybe that makes you my Valentine too. I know that was sappy but, isn't that what Valentine's Day Eve is all about? TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

Find a Blog, Pick It Up...

Sorry, I didn't get to blog yesterday. Editing Dirty Laundry Podcast was more involved than usual. It had something to do with getting a file from show number #91; the worst rendition of Baby, It's Cold Outside in the history of sound. The show is up and you can listen at that link or, as always, free on iTunes or, as is on my newish phone iPP Podcasts. I am sure there are many places you can find it just search "Dirty Laundry Podcast." It is already time to record a new show.

I am sure you remember me blogging about the headlights going out on two of our vehicles at the same time. I bought the bulb from NAPA last week and they had to get it from Minneapolis. They took my number and said they would call me when it arrived. Well, it had been aover a week and no call. I could have walked here from Minneapolis in a week. So, I called them and, it was there. Usually I am one to, at the very least, try to find out what the big hold-up was. I would also make a snarky comment or inquire as to why they didn't call me to tell me it was in. Maybe it's because I pre-paid for the thing that they didn't call. I did not say a word. I just thanked the kid and went out into their parking lot and changed-out the bulb. It worked and all is right in the world again.

After I changed the bulb I saw a penny on the ground. I am not sure why but I have always heard that if you find a penny it's supposed to be good luck. "Find a penny, pick it up all day long you'll have good luck." I guess it is lucky that you have more money than you had before. It was tails. There is also talks that pennies are lucky when they are heads-up. I didn't play into any of that. I picked it up and I will let you know how that goes. On the way home I stopped at Walgreens because I needed a couple of those pocket-sized ruled notebooks. I needed one for work and one for podcast and blog notes. I have notes all over the place. I picture my notes to rival those of Albert Einstein's. Not in quality but certainly in quantity. While I was standing in line waiting to pay for my two notebooks the old codger in front of me took out his wallet and out dropped a penny to the floor. He didn't see it fall. I reached down and picked up the penny (yes, it was tails). I had a moment of thought... do I keep it because it seems like it is Pennies From Heaven day for me or, do I give it back to the old timer? I gave it back to the man and he thanked me. Is this where the saying "heads up" comes from when something is about to hit you? Shouldn't that saying be "heads down?" Heads up would only increase your chances of getting hit wouldn't it? Seems to me tails-up would be luckier for many reasons.

I should have worn shorts when I went up town. What's the difference between going up-town and going down-town? Is Down-town just a basketball term these days? It's like summer outside. It's 19 degrees ABOVE zero out there. Within the next week it is supposed to get UP to freezing. I cannot remember how long it has been since it has been near 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

Remember last week I talked about that coyote or wolf or whatever beast that was that crossed my path in the MIDDLE of the night? Well, another wild animal crossed my path Monday night. A fox (very clearly a fox) ran from north to south stopping to look at me. A few moments later he ran south to north with something in his mouth. I grabbed my flashlight and shined it on him and he looked over. I could see that he had caught a rabbit in less than two minutes. I think he was taking it home to his family for dinner. Why else would he not have just eaten it right away rather than chancing crossing my path again?

I told you he was "my boy" but you doubted

Happy 205th birthday to my boy Abe Lincoln! He didn't look much older that 56. Hey, Lincoln is on the penny and I found two pennies on his birthday with his head down. Weird? Or is that just my mind entertaining itself again?

Shirley Temple and now Sid Caesar? They both seemed like very nice people. Are they the completion of the Phillip Seymour Hoffman (also seemed very nice)? I can never keep track which three celebrities will be linked for eternity because they died within the same group of three. It's about as stupid as which side a penny drops to the ground whether it is lucky or not. We have so many superstitions. Do you suppose it's just a way to keep our minds occupied? Like blogging or podcasting?

I hate this computer so I am going to quit typing on it for today. I have several computers yet I use the one that I feud with all of the time to write this blog most of the time. So much for the lucky pennies. Maybe heads would have been better after all? Thanks a  lot for being here. I hope you enjoy the podcast; there should be another one up in a couple of days too so we can get back on track. Tomorrow night, my Saturday, we are going out for V.D.. We will be at Cooper's Hawk in Naperville if you are looking to assassinate me. I am not one to turn from fate - if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Have a great night. I will probably blog tomorrow - I always seem to have more energy on Thursdays and Fridays (funny how weekends do that to us huh?) TTTT...MITM (ghost) TA!

It's Going Around!

I may start watching for bobsledding

It sure is nice having the furnace fixed. Heat is a good thing to have in the MIDDLEwest in the winter.

Seems like Cha Cha got my cold or flu or whatever I have had. She doesn't have the out-of body or out-of-mind experiences yet but, she is sick. So far, this morning, I feel a lot better. I hope it stays that way. I saw that U.S. Olympic bobsledder Lolo Jones is in a "quarantine room" at Olympic Village with flu-like symptoms. I will neither confirm nor deny that I shared flu with that woman. I hope she is tougher than I am because I am a puss; I am fairly certain that she is tougher than I am - she is an Olympic athlete for blogging out loud. I am still really tired but, I am out of the quarantine room.

I am feeling better today. I still have little episodes of weirdness in my head (no wise-cracks - okay go aHEAD with the wisecracks) but much better. I probably have an aneurysm or something; we all have to die of something. At least I may be out of my mind by the time it happens to me so, I won't really care so much.

It is supposed to get down to nineteen below zero tonight. That's much warmer than many nights have worked this winter so far. It all has to end soon, right? I have never so looked forward to Spring in my life. I look forward to it every year but, this year I want it even more.

I noticed today, after two entire months at the same exact prices in this town, fuel prices have gone up ten cents per gallon at every gas station in town. I almost wrote service station but gas stations aren't service stations much anymore. They have probably done a study over the years and find that this is when people begin driving more. I realize that all business is supply and demand but, I am tired of being raped. I am so happy that I work right here in town these days and Cha Cha is allowed to work from home. That saves us so much money.

I got the podcast half edited today. I am stuck at a problem right now and have to get some sleep before work tonight. I will get it done tomorrow. I will solve the issue I am having with the editing; I always do one way or another.

I just had one of those weird feelings again. I think it is just flu symptoms. Maybe I have an allergy?

I have to sleep now. I will blog again tomorrow while I am editing the rest of the show. Have a great night. I hope you get to spend the rest of the night in your nice warm house. Thanks for the usual. TTTT (unless I freeze to death or am in somebody else's body who doesn't let me blog)....MITM (out) TA!

My Final Blog and Testament?

I thought I had started to feel better over night but, I just made Cha Cha breakfast and found that I was wrong. A simple breakfast of scrambled eggs, hash browns and multi-grain toast. I tried a bit and immediately felt sick to my stomach. It seems to be smells that are bothering me - taste, basically, is smell. There is a more weird thing about it that I cannot really explain but, I will try. When I start to feel sick my mind seems to be transported to someplace else; it's kind of like my mind is somehow placed into someone else's brain and I see out of their eyes. I see things that I have never seen before and people that I do not know but, it all seems to be happening right now. Is it a weird past-life regression or an out-of-body experience? I know that sounds weird but, it is true. I don't eat mushrooms so, it's not that. I do have other cold symptoms too. Is this still left over from all of the rum or the tequila Friday night? I never even got drunk. I called off work last night; I hope I feel better by tonight. I HATE missing work. I have about 200 sick hours built-up while others are in "deduct" but, did I mention that I HATE HATE HATE missing work? I will call-off again if this is still going-on though. If something weird happens to me tell Cha Cha about this because this because she doesn't read the blog.

I just read that a zoo in Copenhagen, Denmark killed one of their baby giraffes with a bolt gun and fed it to the lions because the 18-old month-old giraffe was "unwanted." I know I think like a bleeding-heart liberal American but, couldn't they have sold it to another zoo and then bought some Purina Lion Chow
or something? A British zoo even offered to rehome the giraffe but they said no. Animal Rights Sweden said, " It is no secret that animals are killed when there is no longer space, or if the animals don't have genes that are interesting enough. The only way to stop this is to not visit zoos." I imagine this happens in America too huh?

Jeff could get out of this in about 30 seconds

Jeff escaped from his line in the backyard again. I have no idea how he got away this time. Maybe I am looking through Jeff's eyes when I leave my own mind. I think he is Harry Houdini reincarnated. I went and got him - he hadn't gotten far and had a 50 foot wire lead attached to him so, he was easy to find this time. When I got back I came back on here and saw on Facebook that one of the neighbors had seen him and thought he was a coyote running around the neighborhood. When we first got him some of the neighbor kids across the street told their mom that we, "got a wolf." Jeff is the talk of the town (the neighborhood anyway).

That is all I have to write today. I just wanted to get that sick thing out here in case I die. Maybe I am being slowly poisoned? Maybe I am just losing my marbles (more marbles that is). Whatever - if something happens have an autopsy done on me or I will haunt the Hell out of all of you. Don't think I can't do it either! Thanks a lot for being here again. Maybe I just need more rest? (not the "In Peace" kind though) Have a great rest of your weekend. I will probably blog tomorrow from this world or the next. TTTT...MITM (BOO!) out!

Quesy is a Funny Word

Last night I went out with a couple of great friends. I don't drink much anymore. There was a time when I did but, I got it all out of my system as a yute. Now I remember the things I liked and disliked about those days. I like that everything seems so clear at one point; all problems in the world seem to have a solution and, I know them all. There is a time after that, however, that things become a lot less clear. I never got to the point where I would consider myself impaired last night. This morning I feel a bit queasy in the stomach though.

Just as I finished that last sentence I was asked if I wanted to go to Fatty's for lunch. That is where we started the evening yesterday at 15:30. Our niece Emily is in town and Cha Cha was gonna meet her for lunch so, of course, I went. I drank hot tea and water. My head is still a bit foggy and there is that high-pitched squeal in there. I feel really weird. Not the kind of weird that I usually am but, stomach and fog and head weird. Do you suppose somebody slipped me a roofy? Is that how you spell roofy? I think roofies actually knock you out though don't they? How come roofies aren't called Mickey's anymore and, who in the Hell was Mickey Finn?

Hinky Dink Henna and Bathhouse Coughlin

I always spark my own curiosity; that's what the simple-minded do. It's the same way a dog can play with a smelly sock for hours. Michael "Mickey" Finn was the manager and bartender of a Chicago place called The Lone Star Saloon and Palm Garden Restaurant. The place operated from 1896 to 1903. He was thought to have put knock-out drops (chloral hydrate) in drinks to rob customers while they were out. After reading about him I think that would be a great movie. He hung out with other crooks named Hinky Dink Henna and Bathhouse Coughlin; we just don't have names like this anymore. We don't even have names like: slim or stretch or stinky or smiley or Swede... why did all of the names that came to mind first all start with "S?"

I just saw that Emo Philips "favorited" one of my tweets. I like that he is a friend of mine. He is a very nice guy. And, a comic genious. He writes some of the funniest jokes in all of comedy.

How come it is snowing again? I am sick of this Winter. Tonight I am on foot patrol which makes no here nor there to me but, I chose Saturdays as my walking nights. With my new nights off being Thursdays and Fridays I picked Saturdays as my night for foot patrol so that, if I didn't get enough sleep on my "weekend," I would have no chance of being slow and, in turn, getting tired. With foot patrol there is alwasy something to do. I still need to try to get sleep before work hough.

I got a text from somebody that read "This Me Cuddy." They sent it twice one right after another. I have no idea who it was from or what in the Hell it meant. Just a phone number appeared as the sender. If you sent me this please let me know who you are and what it means. I don't want to text back unless I know who it is.

Why is this chick trying to get ahold of me?

I had so much to do today and I have got nothing done. Damn you Mickey Finn and your evil ways. I have to get the podcast edited and I need to finish Fabio's Fab Cave (that is my name for it that I just made up right now - don't tell him about that please). Thank you, as always, for spending a few minutes here. I hope you have a great rest of your weekend. I think I am going to lie down. I hope the Olympics are on - guaranteed to help me sleep. I will probably not blog again tomorrow because of the aforementioned todo list. TTTMonday (your Monday that is)...MITM (trying not to puke or be dizzy) TA!

I'd Like to Teach the World to Blog in Perfect Harmony

I don't want a 2 pack I want 2 batteries!

Why don't AA batteries come in packages of two anymore? I found this out this morning when I went over to buy a new thermostat. I figured I'd get a couple of new ones for the new thermostat. I didn't need eight or 16 so I got zero. I decided I would just use the ones from the old thermostat. I swapped out the thermostats and, as it turns out, it seems like it is a sensor issue with the furnace. The fan works and the furnace torches up (even when it's not 4:20) and the little alternating green flashing lights (slow flash, not rapid flash), which are much smarter than I, say it's a sensor. So, here I sit blogging because if I go downstairs to edit the podcast or work on Fabio's new rec. room I may not hear the dude at the door. He said he'd call first but, I am freezing and do not want to take the chance of missing him. It gets cold in the house pretty quickly when there is no heat and it's below zero outside. Stupid cheap-as tract housing. He said it would only be about an hour so, here I blog again.

I seriously may have to put on my gloves to finish this blog. From here on out I blame all misspelling or stupid comments on me typing while wearing gloves. I seriously may put on a jacket too. I have a sweat shirt on but, still a bit chilly.

Is Jay Leno done yet? He must be. I just checked and the Olympics are on in his place tonight. I doubt that I will watch the Olympics but, there is a better chance of me watching them than there ever was of me watching Leno (also below zero). I just saw where The U S and A leads the medal count with 37; I didn't even know they had started yet. Back when I was a kid we always watched the Olympics - we didn't have 200 channels to choose from back then. Did I mention that it's cold in here?

He didn't seem that blurry in person

Sorry, I was gone for a bit. All-Star Heating was just here. Heat is blowing out of the vents now (we used to call them registers back when I was a kid - what the Hell did that mean?) He changed the sensor and cleaned the hoses and charged me $80. I will take the $70 thermostat back and it will feel like I broke even. Even though it will have cost me $80. While he was here I talked to him about servicing the air conditioner in the Spring. You can see what kind of an optimist I am when I am thinking air conditioning when it's five below zero outside. Maybe that's because five below zero is like a heat wave compared to some of the weather we have been having lately.

Now I am thinking about the Olympics. I really wonder how the rest of the world views America and Americans. A lot of things that happen here embarrass me as a member. With the podcast I know that we are listened to, literally, all over the world. I hope that we don't add to the embarrassment. We talked about the Coca Cola commercial that is causing so much controversy. I thought the commercial was great. If you haven't seen it children sing the song America The Beautiful in many different languages. Even if you have seen it that is what happens in the commercial. You can click that blue link and watch it on YouTube. Idiots are upset that "our national anthem would be sung in those different languages." WAIT FOR IT... America The Beautiful is not our national anthem!!! I wonder how many of our Founding Fathers (capitalized out of respect) were not born in America...all of them maybe? Thomas Jefferson spoke six languages. I speak three (yes, one of them is Pig Latin). People can be born here and be citizens and speak different languages. I thought that was one of our great appeals; the diversity. That's one of things I love about us. Coca Cola is doing great because of all of this craziness. Why would I have talked about Coke here ever? When I am not drinking alcohol - 87.4527% of the time I am drinking agua (I hope that didn't offend you)! Agua is Espanol for water.

Weindorf Breweries

Now that it's getting warmer in here I have to get some things done. My buddy Greg is coming over this afternoon and we are going bar-hopping. Let me know if you want to go and I'll let you know where we are gonna be. This is a college town so, we may try to see them all. Hit me up on Facebook and I will tell you where we are. Maybe I will just "check-in" everywhere we go and you can catch up with us. I will try to do that. Remember though, Greg and I went to SIU and we are among the people who ruined the Halloween celebration for everyone else after us. I wonder if they'll have Black Label (what I drank in college) or Beer (what Greg drank in college) - generic yellow cans with the word "BEER" in bold black type. Thanks a lot for stopping by. I will get the podcast edited and up within the next few days. Have a great night and, maybe we will see you around town tonight. I'll buy you a Coke (with Malibu or Jack Daniels or whatever your poison is). TTTT (or later today if you catch us). TA!

I Think I am Being Stalked

Last night a coyote crossed my path - twice. When I went south he ran across in front of me (east to west ) and, when I went back north  about five minute later he crossed in front of me again (east to west). The first time he went about 100 yards away and just stood there and stared at me. The second time he just ran across and the disappeared ion the brush. I am taking it as an omen of some kind. I am trying to think like a native American. I am not a native American because I wasn't born here; isn't everyone who was born in America a native American? Why does it mean something when a black cat crosses our paths but, when any other animals cross our paths it means nothing? Or, do we just not know those meanings? Or, is the black cat think bunk and just superstition - duh! Coyotes get a bad rap - thanks a lot Looney Toons!

It's official (not totally official until it's done I guess) we are going to record Dirty Laundry Podcast. I am excited. I like doing the show. It's a lot of work but, it's fun work. I just want the whole world to be happy and, if we can help a little, I want to help. This blog, like usual, is taking me hours to write. I type something and then I get distracted and start researching. I have been looking up things for the podcast one I typed "Dirty Laundry Podcast." I just read some of our mail. I just made some virtual Post-its for show notes. Cha Cha suggests that

Why do we need toe nails and finger nails? I am sure someplace in our evolution our toe nails served as claws before we had shoes and boots and such but, I say let's get rid of the nails. Imagine how different our toes and fingers would look without nails. I do realize that picking our noses and scratching ourselves are much easier with nails. Why do we hide that we pick our noses? We all do it yet we hide the fact that we do it. Just like farting - imagine what a different world it would be if we could pick our noses and fart whenever and wherever we wanted. It would be the Old West again wouldn't it? I will not champion this cause.

I guess I am going to the store so I have to end. Any podcast ideas please send them VERY soon if you want them to be considered for this week. We have some stuff from the usual suspects: The Lost Sock, Greg Weindorf... Always very happy to get ideas and suggestions and the like. Negative, positive, helpful, antagonistic, praising... we don't care - we like it all.

Have a great night and I WILL blog again tomorrow while I am editing the new show hopefully. Have a great night and STAY WARM in the MIDDLEwest. Stay warm everywhere but, I know first hand that it's colder than a witch's teet here (I still don't know what that means). The brass bra part makes sense if it's cold out though. TTTT...MITM (out and excited to record the show). P.S. the people liked my voice-over work that I did yesterday (read yesterday's blog if that makes no sense to you). TA!

Son of Mars Coup Ferret

I have always loved Milles Bornes

I drove all night last night in yet another blizzard. It wasn't until I was on the way home that I figured out why driving in the snow is so terrible. It's the other drivers. During the night there were very few people on the roads and everything went great. On the way home from work, while everybody else was on the way TO work, there were several close calls. People fish-tailing into other lanes, switching lanes without seeing other cars in the new lane... I love being the Omega Man at night.

While I was at the store yesterday I got a new deodorant; Old Spice MATTerhorn. It didn't smell any worse or better than any of the others but, it had my name in it so, I guess I would say that it called my name. If i like it I may change my name to Horn, Matt R. Horn.

Wow, this blog is off to a great start - driving and deodorant... BORRRRRINNNNNGGGG!

People are making a big deal out a woman, Suzanne Basso, set to be executed tonight for torturing and killing a mentally impaired man in Texas 15 years ago. What is the big deal? I mean the death penalty is a big deal I guess but, what difference is it whether it is a woman or a man? She will be only the 14th woman executed since 1976. In that same time there have been nearly 1400 men executed. She was sentenced to death in 1988. What the Hell is the hold-up? If the Supreme Court decided that the death penalty is okay and the state of Texas (by far the most fond of this decision) decided this woman should die why wasn't it done 14 years ago. One year is long enough for appeals and the other bologna. She tortured and murdered this man and made herself the beneficiary of his insurance policies and Social Security benefits. Boy, that's not gonna put a big red X on you when they find his body washed with bleach and scoured with a wire brush in a ditch.The autopsy found several broken bones, including a fractured skull and 14 broken ribs, his back covered was in cigarette burns and bruises covering his entire body. I have mixed feelings about the death penalty - that's why I am Matt In The Middle huh? I usually do try to see both sides of everything. And, why do we let them choose what their last meal will be? And, why do we care what they choose? That has always been weird to me.

Why does Sundance have commercials? Either you are saying: "They have commercials?" or, "Yeah, why do they have commercials?" or, you are Googling Sundance."

This one really cracked Fabio up!

I just completed my first professional voice-over work. I don't think I have that great of a voice but, if you get your voice out there someone may listen to your podcast and it may lead to something. I had always hoped that Dirty Laundry Podcast would grow and maybe this is that first little bit of green that pops up from the soil that will lead to a beanstalk? We'll see if they actually use it. Maybe I could do cartoon voices one of these days? I will, most likely, just stay being a podcasting schlub.

Today is Splenda's 22nd birthday and two week's ago Fabio became 17th. Weird that our kids were born exactly two weeks apart and, if I am doing the math correctly, that is almost exactly (is that an oxymoron?) nine months after our wedding anniversary. I am not sure what that means but, I have a theory or two (one 17 and one 22). Fabio isn't home from school yet but, we just got his specially-ordered Nike's in the mail. He got size 11 1/2 (so I cannot even put on enough pairs of socks to even make them fit) Nike Son of Mars shoes. One of the shoes says "son of" and had a little Brooklyn bridge badge on the laces and the other one has a tiny face of Mars Blackmon (Spike Lee) and says "Mars." Fabio loves Jordan, duh. I went on Youtube and showed him some of the Nike commercials from back in the day with Mars (Spike Lee) and M.J. (Michael Jordan). He had never seen them before and he thought they were just as funny as we all did when they were originally aired. I had forgotten how great those spots were. He did say, "that's the dude who is at all of the Knicks games." Funny that is how Spike Lee is known now. He made some really great films! Weird that I had that red X up there - almost like the blog knows where I am going before I do.

Gotta get my sleep before my Friday morning shift starts in five hours. Three to four hours of sleep makes a big difference. Thanks a lot for being here; I really appreciate YOU! The podcast is coming - I promise. I have a new "commercial" that needs to get recorded. I may do it myself now that I am a voice-over actor. It sounds like "The Bigwigs From Upstairs" want to record it though. Have a great night - stay warm if you are in the MIDDLEof the U S and A. TTTT...MITM (from down town!) Say that last part with your inside-your-head-voice like Marv Albert.TA!

How To Become a Great Actor (you're welcome)!

Ghandi, LaMotta, Milk, Liberace, Houdini (post-production) & Hitchcock

I always seem to need background noise. I need the radio on or the television boobing or my phone playing the podcast, music or Pandora... I wonder where that "need" comes from? It makes me really appreciate the silence because it is rare (by choice). I love quiet too but, I like it to be special. I searched the HBO channels and there is Michael Douglas playing Liberace, Anthony Hopkins playing Hitchcock and Kevin Durant playing himself. Someday I may be watching somebody playing Douglas and Hopkins. I doubt that it will be Durant playing either; he's not even that good at playing himself (if he does it too many times he may go blind). It seems, to be a great actor, you have to eventually portray a real person (some of those dudes up there have played more than one).

There is a conspiracy among the Axis Powers; they really are evil. Our Japanese vehicle (Toyota 4Runner) and our Italian car (Fiat 500C) both have headlights out. Each has one headlight out. The Toyota light was $8.00 and change. The Fiat headlight was $61.00 and change. This is the second one out on the 2012 Fiat; the last one was the passenger side and, this time it's the driver's side. I figured it would probably happen sooner or later but, both lights out within a couple of years? Also, the only place that carries the Fiat lights is NAPA (I literally checked everybody in town last time - wish I had started with NAPA). This time I went right to NAPA and the guy said the same thing he said last time - "we have just one at the warehouse and we can have it here after 2:30." So, I bought it and will go back to NAPA after 14:30. The one I bought for $8 looks exactly like the one that costs $60. In fact, the $8 one is bigger. That really doesn't make a difference but, it seems like more for less money. Smaller is better in things these days though isn't it? Technologically, I mean.

I cannot believe it's Thursday already. I have to keep writing what day it is in MY world because I cannot keep them straight. It comes from me changing my days off every so often. When I started my current job I had Tuesdays/Wednesdays off then I went to Sundays/Mondays off and now I have Thursdays/Fridays off. I think I will keep these days off for as long as I can unless Saturday/Sunday comes open. They are starting to move some of us to the day shift (Monday - Friday) but, it will be awhile before they add more of these positions and, right now, I am number five in seniority.

We're supposed to get more snow this afternoon/tonight. Like we haven't had enough of that in the MIDDLEwest this winter. Supposedly, we have had a little over 50" of snow so far this winter and, maybe about five more tonight. Better the snow than the 50 below zero windchills as far as I am concerned.

Cha Cha is feeling a little better today so. maybe we will record the podcast soon. Tomorrow maybe? Hey, Valentine's Day is coming up isn't it? What do you know? Valentine's Day is on a Friday (My Sunday). I should probably figure something out, huh? Being on a Friday it will probably be busy at restaurants and such. I may have to check into shows in the city too? Does anybody recommend any good plays? I have been wanting to try Copper's Hawk Winery and Restaurant and maybe that would be a good start? Reservation made - I like Thursdays and the number 13 better so, it is on St.Valentine's Day Eve! Not taking reservations on Valentine's Day or, other people thought ahead a bit more than I did.

I just got back from NAPA. Guess what? Their computer was wrong - they DO NOT have one "in the warehouse." The closest one is in Minneapolis. I cannot drive to Minneapolis, I only have one headlight. Some of that driving would be at night. There is also another snow storm coming. I could catch a Timberwolves or, a whatever the Northstars are called now, game. So, now it will be here Tuesday. What is today in real time? Hey, THIS is Tuesday! Maybe he meant Thursday because he did say it would be here in two days. I gave him my phone number and he said he'd call when it arrives. My money is on Tuesday.

I should wrap it up (egg roll pun intended). The chicken fried rice is ready and the egg rolls will be done in about ten minutes (pork, chicken and shrimp - it's good to have choices). You have a great night. If you're in the path of the incoming snow storm I hope you have your hatches battened-down. I appreciate you being here and letting me do whatever this is that I do here. I will blog tomorrow (my Friday). TTTT...MITM (offen sie - had to get somthing in for Germany since the other two WWII evils were represented). TA!