Matt in the Middle: Schweddy Blog!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Schweddy Blog!

I usually don't toot my own horn, mainly because I cannot reach it, but I am tooting away this morning. I made a prediction on June 16th's blog and I just heard today that it has come true! Ben & Jerry's new ice cream flavor is Schwetty Balls! Click that link there in blue to read that day's blog or scroll down all of the blogs like I did if you prefer. I can't wait to get Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls in my mouth. I guess I wasn't 100% correct as I wrote "Schwetty" and they changed it so I wouldn't sue them to "Schweddy." There goes my entire retirement plan! I need to check my Mega Millions lottery tickets from last night now that I know that I am a great and powerful prognosticator because I should probably go pick up my $75,000,000. Come on Plan B!!!! Matty needs a new pair of dice (lol I kill me always)!

There's already a group called One Million Moms that are threatening to boycott Ben & Jerry's because of this new ice cream flavor (the name, actually). They are calling it "tasteless." Schweddy Balls is "vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls" - doesn't sound tasteless to me. Maybe this group should have their name changed to One Million Moms with Challenged Taste Buds! What this group is actually doing is counter-productive to their supposed agenda. It turns out that Ben & Jerry unleashed their Schweddy Balls earlier this month but I didn't even realize that my prediction came true until this group of moms with too much time on their hands started trying to crush Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls. Now I am plugging their Schweddy Balls. I cannot resist trying their Schweddy Balls.

Wanna buy this poster? Make me an offer!

The stars must be aligned for me right now. Yesterday I got a call and I set up an interview for the job that I have been trying to get for the past month or so. I know I will get the job. Then, this morning, I called a local radio station and won certificates for two pizzas on a trivia contest. Now I really need to check those lottery tickets.

Speaking of "stars" I heard that someone was cut from Dancing with the Stars. Wonder who? Me neither - I have no idea who and I don't care.

You know I get cheesed-off (I figured I wrote about ice cream and pizza so I may as well keep up with the dairy references) when movies are remade when they were popular in the first place? A movie that I like very much is now being made into a Broadway musical. That doesn't seem that bad until I found out that the move is Diner. A couple of days ago I said that maybe they were going to start remaking all of Patrick Swayze's movies but now it looks like someone has Kevin Bacon in their cross-hairs (Footloose and Diner). Sheryl Crow has signed-on to write the music and lyrics for Diner on Broadway. I like to consider myself a person who has a pretty good imagination but I cannot imagine Diner becoming a musical. I have an original movie poster of Diner so maybe I should dust that off and hang it in Kajunkles Studio or sell it on eBay while it's "in" again. I seriously am trying to think of one scene from that movie that would be good to music. Kevin Bacon drunk in the manger as baby Jesus? The marriage test? Sitting around the diner? Maybe I could see a "fries and gravy" song? After seeing this movie in college I went through a fries and gravy phase. It's very good - it's not that much different than mashed potatoes and gravy other than the deep-fried part of the potatoes.

Enough! Blogging about diners and ice cream and pizza and cheese have made be hungry. Have a great day and wish me luck on my job interview. Enjoy the nice weather in the MIDDLEwest today and I hope it's nice wherever you are but since you're there it's probably, at the very least, a little nice. Also, if you haven't listened yet the new Dirty Laundry Podcast with MMA fighter Andy "the Andimal" Smith is calling for you. If you're hungry I think we may have pizza for dinner tonight. I need to grab my Schweddy Balls too...I'd be happy to share my pizza and my Schweddy Balls with you! Thanks for spending time with me...TTTT...MITM (eating OUT!)

2 comments:

Jimbo!September 21, 2011 at 10:11 PM
Congratulations on your "schweddy balls" and good luck with your IV, MITM!!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Matt HelserSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:22 AM
Thanks Jimbo!!!
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!