Wednesday, September 7, 2011

No News is Good News - Very Literally!

Be a happy Wednesday!
Happy MIDDLE of the week. I was going to say the MIDDLE of the work week but Wednesday is actually the MIDDLE of the work week and the calendar week. Wednesday should be the official weekday of Matt In The Middle!

While I was making doing the dishes and making a school lunch and making Cha Cha and my breakfast I had the television news on in the background. For someone who spent most of his college career writing and editing the news I sure do hate what the news has become. There used to be a saying we used - "no news is good news." It meant that if you didn't hear something from someone you assumed that things were going well. That saying has never been more appropriate since we have developed the 24-hour news cycle in America. Now it is literally, "no news is good news." The next time you watch the news, right after you take some anti-depressant medication, count how many stories are happy stories; don't worry, you won't need a pencil and paper - one hand will do. I think I'd like to start the 24-hour Happy News Channel. What are Mary Hart and Richard Simmons up to these days? I picture them as my co-anchors.

While I was cleaning out the sink I heard Mitt Romney, former Massachusetts Governor and Republican presidential candidate, saying that he is trying to push through a bill that will make it so we wouldn't be taxes on our savings. That must be the "royal we." That seems pretty out of touch to me. I bet that there isn't 10% of people, who are not wealthy, that have much savings at all to speak of. Our economy has made it so we MIDDLE Americans have had to tap into our savings, including our retirement savings, just to keep the luxuries of life like water and electricity and clothing and food and fuel for heat going. Since the wealthier people are the ones that have savings I think maybe we should raise the taxes on savings. That would be a waste of time because they spend more money than all of us MIDDLEs put-together to pay some firm to figure out ways they can get around these types of laws. As usual, I don't know what I am blogging about but I bet I am not too far wrong on this. I bet all of the savings that I may or may not being taxed on that I am closer to right than I am to wrong. That sentence sounded pretty politician-like; maybe I should throw my Matt into the ring!
The new Sausage-Pepperoni Race Tax
I am taking another test for another job tomorrow morning. One of these days something is gonna stick. There is one job that I can't wait to apply for. I want to be a Domino's Pizza delivery driver. I have one specific location in mind. Domino's in Japan is planning on spending $1.67 trillion to put a Domino's Pizza on the moon - seriously. I didn't even know Japan has been to the moon. I cannot imagine that there'd be must of a customer-base. Would my tips even cover my rocket fuel for my deliveries? We'd have to deliver because that's the whole thing. I searched for a video that said "Domino's Pizza delivers" (their old jingle and advertising campaign) but instead I found this video that makes me change my mind about working for Domino's On The Moon and made me realize that I should never eat food that I do not prepare myself. Maybe that's why they need to go to the moon now because it's harder to pick you nose...in a space suit and space helmet.

Hey, The sausage races (coincidental pizza tie-in) have begun again. For those of you new to the blog since last school year that's the little kids running to the bus stop around the cul-de-sac circle. It reminds me of the sausage races at Miller Park where the Milwaukee Brewers play. It seems that choriso has slowed down since last season as he was in last place as they rounded the turn. That off-season training is very important to you young meat-products reading this out there. I think when they add a new sausage to the races they should add Snausages!

I'm running out of gas like chorizo so I am going to wrap this up. Have a JOYful day and take a sack with you today:) You will know what's in there because you made it yourself and you may save a little money that someday you might not get taxed on. TTTT...MITM (out of lots of things)
hit the one you haven't hit in awhile Roz! You know which one I'm bloggin' about

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