Yes, I Look For Trouble Constantly!

I am feeling a bit lot punky today. Fabio was really sick for about four days last week and I am afraid that maybe I picked-up on his cold. I do not get sick very often and I hope this is just a lack of sleep issue and I will feel better later today. He is in the public a lot of the time (goes to high school and works at a supermarket) so you see a lot of people and come in contact with illness all the time that way. I work with the public daily and I have a crappy sleep schedule so I have a lot of opportunity to get sick too. I only have two days nights left of my work week so I will probably just tough it out and get my coworkers sick too; that's what team players do. It will be a game time decision.

I just heard the phrase "you're just looking for trouble." I used to hear that all the time which probably says something about me but now that is what I do for a living. Well, 60% of the time that is what I am doing. I am looking for trouble so I can squash it or, actually, looking for the potential for trouble and heading it off at the pass. Danger used to be my MIDDLE name but now it is Trouble.

Last night while I was driving around looking for trouble a song that I have liked a great deal for a long time came on the radio, It was My Immortal by Evanescence. I had always heard that the song was about dealing with and coping with the death of a loved-one; most often that it was the death of band member and the song's writer Ben Moody's grandfather. I had that in my head when I listened to the song but, last night, I pictured Cha Cha and my journey with her hospital stays at the end of last year. That is the great thing about songs; we can all read different things into them and make them soundtracks for our lives. And the meanings can change based on the chapter of our life. This is a beautiful song no MATTer what it is really about.

While I have planted Cha Cha's hospital stays in my head again (thanks Evanescence) I became thankful for all of the nice comments I keep getting about the blog again from you. A lot of the niceness is coming from people who began reading the blog to follow what was going on with Jill and they have continued reading. I love writing and I am thankful that it brings joy or thoughtfulness or a smile or makes people feel that there are other people (me, at least) who think crazy things like they do... to them. I usually thank you at the end of the blog but - thank you for reading and for all of the nice comments. I don't even mind the bad comments because they give me other things to write about. You make me smile just by stopping-by and I hope I return the favor by making you smile once in awhile.

Now I am thinking about death a lot. I suppose, as they say, it is part of life. We all have expiration dates but it would be handy if they were printed on us so we would know when to whoop it up. I know many people who have lost their spouses and most of them seem to be women. Why do men usually die first? I suppose it used to be because they seemed to be under more stress with being the bread-winners and bearing most of the responsibilities. That has changed a lot in America - it has in my house. Luckily, I have not ever had a problem with things like that. We are a team and always will be. I have always wondered if I would prefer to die before Jill or visa versa. I don't really have much of a say in that MATTer and that is the way that I prefer it. I do often wonder which I would pick if I made the call. I would be very, very sad to see her die. I cried a lot when there was even a reasonable chance that she would die. I am one who generally is more worried about other's feelings than my own (generally - not always) so I sometimes think that I would prefer that she died first so she didn't have to have the pain of seeing me die. That sounds presumptuous but it is not meant that way. But, I do not want to see her die either. She is a better person than I am so it would be better for everyone concerned if she out-lived me. Dying together would be sadder for the kids but they would get more insurance money. I am happy that this decision is not mine. If it were I think I would say take me first. Maybe that's where that joke "why do men die before their wives" comes from. The answer is "because they want to" but the reason is not as funny as I had previously thought.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that Mr. Peanut sounds more like Bill Hader than Robert Downey Jr. these days. I had always hoped to be the voice of Mr. Peanut and I guess it is too late for that now. I am too old to be a cast member of Saturday Night Live and that seems to be a prerequisite these days. Downey was a better voice. Hader sounds like too much of a smart-ass all the time. Mr. Peanut is sophisticated. He wears a monocle and a top hat for crying out loud. That makes me wonder who is the most successful SNL cast member in history. Belushi? Louis-Dreyfus? Chase? Murphy? Downey? Murray? Ferrell? Sandler? Fey? Fallon? Farley? Myers? Rock? Stiller? Crystal? That is a tough one. Do you measure it by net worth? Some have been around longer. Some died younger. You get more money for films and shows these days. Incidentally, there were a couple of snide comments about Downey during the SNL 40th Anniversary show. Maybe because he wasn't there?

Wow, I had a lot to say today. Thank you for letting me say it. I also appreciate all of your kind words and your continuing to give me reasons to write. I hope you have a great rest of your Tuesday and your Tuesnight. I am still on the fence about calling-off work tonight. I feel like HELLser and don't want to get everybody else sick so I get it back. I will make that decision in about four-and-a-half hours from now. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!