Matt in the Middle: Last Blog of 2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

Last Blog of 2012 - Guaranteed!

Just Not Great Really!

So, it is the last day of 2012. I didn't care for 2012 all that much so I am not really disappointed to see it go. I cannot think of anything particularly bad that happened in my personal life in 2012 but maybe it was just blah. It was better than 2011 so maybe I am just being too hard on 2012. My favorite number has always been 13 so I have great hopes for 2013. I probably shouldn't have bad-mouthed 2012 until tomorrow. Maybe if the Cardinals had won the World Series I wouldn't be so bitter about 2012.

What's going to happen with our economy in America this year? Why are they just waiting until the last moment to decide on a resolution? The politicians are just a bunch of babies wanting attention. They will wait until the last moment and agree on a deal or extend the date or something along those lines. They watch too many movies and think everything has to have a big build-up and then a happy ending just in the nick of time (or is it knick of time?). In times gone by this is when the people revolted; when their governments did not have the peoples' best interests in their hearts and minds. I am certainly not calling for anarchy as I am much too lazy to deal with something with that much magnitude that takes that much time and commitment. I would be happy to blog and podcast about it if one of you wants to get one started. I will be the Press Secretary or Communications Liaison or something cool sounding like that.

Not So Much!

I am fairly certain that Cha Cha is totally addicted to Twitter. I know it's mainly because she and I have opposite schedules and we are like ships passing in the night (or day) most of the time. We are both going to work on the "ships" part in 2013. I like my job but it is tough on us both not seeing each other much. I guess if she is going to "step-out" on me it may as well be with Michael Moore and Ricky Gervais and Steve Martin and Jon Stewart and Paula Poundstone and Lewis Black and Michael Ian Black and Garry Shandling and Kathleen Madigan... And about 60 more; I could keep going on and on. Wow, she spends a lot of time with a lot of people. Cha Cha is a Twitter Floozie (patent pending/trademark/copyright).

Why do we sew our clothes and darn our socks? If my socks have holes in them I just damn them and throw them out. Forget the darning - go right to the damning! What about That Darned Cat? Was it a sock cat?

Who will be the first celebrity to die in 2013? I just went through the list of celebs who died in 2012 . I forgot a lot of these people died this/last year. I think I may say that every year. Not always aloud or in a the blog but at least in my head. Not to be wishing bad on anyone but my early money is on George H.W. Bush.

I think Cha Cha and I are going to go see Kathleen Madigan on February 13th in Chicago at City Winery. We've seen her before and she was funny. Cha Cha really likes her. I am not too impressed by most comics since I worked at Zanies Comedy Club for a couple of years. I do not find most comics very funny; maybe it came from hearing the same acts night after night and twice on Fridays and Saturdays? I think most jokes are predictable so I like comics that are a little different or very clever. I also like irreverence like Norm MacDonald has. I am starting to reminisce about what comics I liked when I worked at the comedy club. Do I dare list the ones that I did not like? Maybe I will do that on the podcast this week? Making celebrity enemies might be the way to make the podcast known. What in the Hell is the difference between VIP and Reserved and Premiere? We went with the VIP because they are two-top tables. I asked Cha Cha, "don't you want to meet new people?" She said, "not really." So, that made the decision easy.

I hope you have a great New Year's Eve tonight. Be safe. I am just being selfish because I need you to read the blog and listen to the podcast because you may be one of the only ones. I am glad I will be working to ring in the New Year because if there is no Dick Clark there may as well not be a New Year as far as I am concerned. TTTNY (Next Year)...MITM (one day closer to next year and death) TA!

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Monday, December 31, 2012

Last Blog of 2012 - Guaranteed!

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