The Fridge, War & Discouragement - Sweet!

Our New Fridge / Home Security System

I am just hanging out waiting for the new refrigerator to be delivered. They said between 07:00 and noon and
 it is 09:39 now so I am just past half-time in the waiting game. I got all of the stuff transferred to the garage fridge and I unplugged the defunct one and pulled it out. It is amazing how gross it gets under your refrigerator after nine years. So, I cleaned that mess up too. The fridge was originally supposed to have been delivered yesterday but I had to reschedule so I could accompany Cha Cha to Chicago to see her off at the airport and return to pick her up at the airport eight hours later.

I am either getting sick or fighting for the right not to be sick but my body is sore and my nose is stuffed-up and I am pretty much wiped-out. I do not have a headache which is nice. I hate having headaches. Do you think I am alone in that hatred? I am starting to get a headache just wondering if other people dislike headaches. Sneaky - the mind creating it's own headaches so it has something to do.

We have not recorded this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast yet. It has been a little busy the last couple of days. I am not sure when we will get it done but it will be within the next day or two. I have a bunch of stuff to talk about but I am rarely at a loss for things to talk about on the podcast. It sort of just snowballs.

I cannot believe that we are sending nuclear-capable stealth bombers to North Korea. I sure hope that Dennis Rodman gets this all straightened out before we head toward nuclear war with a country with short-country complex. Maybe Kim Jong Un felt like he was being taunted when the Harlem Globetrotters and former NBA players (with Dennis Rodman) went over there. They were rubbing Kim Jong Un's nose in his minuscule stature. It seems apparent that eventually we will have another third world war; we just cannot all get along on this planet. We cannot even all get along in this country or in this city or sometimes within our own homes. I never thought I would be alive during a world-wide conflict. What would I do if we had world war? I am too old to fight. Plus that missing big toe deal makes me 4F. Would I have to be a George Bailey and collect rubber and do can drives and sell war bonds? Would I be part of the militia to protect my town and sound the air-raid sirens now and then? I am seriously wondering now what would happen were we to go to war. Fabio is only 16 but in two years, because we know world wars always last for years and years, he'd have to go and fight. And Splenda is already 21 and they are talking about women having to begin registering for the Selective Service (draft). Come on Rodman get this under control already - DO YOUR JOB! Maybe the North Koreans think we are all like Dennis and that's why they decided to elevate this conflict. Boy, are they in for a surprise.

The ugly truth of fridge death camps

The refrigerator is here and I helped the guy bring it in and I washed the new one out and plugged it in after the recommended 20 minutes so the thing could settle from whatever kind of jet lag a refrigerator gets during travel. By the time I had it wiped out and all of the stuff transferred from the garage fridge to its new home it was ready to turn on. I like the new one better. I can safely say that now that the old one was strapped down and taken away in a dark trailer wherever old refrigerators go when they retire. I am better off not knowing this because I am a bleeding-heart and would probably go there and try to liberate all of them. I just have to tell myself that our old Samsung will meet some new friends. I hope there isn't a language barrier between our Japanese refrigerator and some of those Amish -speaking Amanas. I tipped the guy ten bucks but after he left I thought, "hey, I did at least half of the work hauling it in and then I had to clean out the new one and take off all of the blue tape and the plastic film and stock the new one and all he had to do was haul the old one away which he will probably get some cash for at the recycling place." Maybe he should have tipped me too? Karma will pay me back one of these days.

When I was in Chicago yesterday killing time I went to the Art Museum. I touched on it in yesterday's quick blog but I didn't talk about some of the things I did like. I will probably repeat myself if we ever record the podcast but I did like all of the suits of armor, I liked a few of the pieces in the Americana section of the museum and there were a few others here and there but for the most part I think I may be a dogs playing poker kind of art appreciator. I wish I had decided to walk to the Field Museum instead. I like dinosaurs and shrunken heads. I have always loved the Field Museum and the Museum of Science and Industry. I have never been to The Museum of Broadcast History which I have always found ironic given my education and hobbies. There were A LOT of interesting people at the Art Museum though. People are always fun to watch and listen to. I am sure the same has been said about people watching me.

Remember I told you that I gave Cha Cha my earbuds when I dropped her off at the airport yesterday? The earbuds would have made my day much more enjoyable but I am a giver. When I picked her up at the airport she told me how she didn't even use them even though she asked me to borrow them. So, when we got home she took a nap because of all of her jet-setting and I went into her purse to get my earbuds back. As I was fishing around her cavernous purse I came upon my earbuds in a side pocket. "Earbuds (8-ball) in the side pocket." Guess what I found under my earbuds in her purse? Guess! I found her earbuds right under my earbuds. She had two pair of earbuds and did not use either of them while I was left budless! Should that have been pairs of earbuds since one set of earbuds is considered a pair? I think it should have been pairs of earbuds not pair of earbuds.

I have to get some laundry done as well as many other household chores from being out of commission in the big city for a couple of days. Also today is my Monday so I have to get my work face on. I will most likely blog again tomorrow and I will let you know when the new podcast is ready to go. For some reason a feeling of discouragement just came over me like a black fog. That was weird. It was just a feeling that seemed to cover me like a black cloud. I think it is gone and was only here for a moment but maybe it is still here and my body just took it on or there is a battle going on without my being aware of it? Time will tell. If
there is evil afoot it will make for better blogging and podcasting in the nest few days. Wish me luck!

Well, that winds up today's Pass the Biscuits Pappy O'Daniel Flour Hour. I thank you for stopping by and I wish you a nice rest of your day and night. The weather seems to be headed the right way in the MIDDLEwest so let's hope she stays on course. TTTT...MITM (out!) TA

Picasso was a Hack!

I am just hanging in the old Morton Salt Building on Printer's Row in Chicago. If I am on Printer's Row I have to blog right? I drove Cha Cha to the airport this his morning at 05:00 and she will be back in town from Detroit in about two hours (15:00). I just spoke to her and they are boarding the plane right now. I got a late check-out and don't have to leave here until 14:00 but it only takes about 15 minutes to get to the airport. It may take longer than it did this morning because the city is awake now. There was nobody on the streets at 5AM. I see why films shoot in the MIDDLE of the night when they film in this city.
have to write a blog right? The building is now the Wydham hotel. It is on the National Registry of Historic Places.

I just heard that Justin Bieber may be in trouble. He got his new sports car delivered to his home and then
was speeding all over his neighborhood (said to have been over 100 miles per hour through  his subdivision). One of his neighbors went to Biebers' home and to tell him to slow down and Biebs told him to get the F off his property and he spat in his face. That is assault my legal-aged young man. I am sure he will be able to buy his way out of whatever problem that will arise.

I walked up to Michigan Avenue and decided to go to the Art Museum. I got there at 10:30 and apparently that is when it opens because there was a huge line there. We used to be members of the Art Museum but no longer are so I had to wait in line with the common folk. The line moved very quickly. I really missed my earbuds though. I love walking around the city listening to my music but Cha Cha did not have her earbuds and she was flying, which she hates (unlike me who LOVES flying), so I sent my earbuds to Detroit with her. I always want others to be happy before me and I hate that about myself. "You know that ain't ever gonna change." I hear a siren outside - that happens constantly downtown here - it's kinda cool. I doubt it is very cool for whoever is at the receiving end of the sirens. Anyway, I spent a couple of hours in the museum and will probably blog more about it later but it is a little after 13:00 and I have to get out of Dodge by 14:00. I will call for the Fiat to be brought up front in about 40 minutes. The true art of the Art Museum for me is watching the people. I like some of the art but there is a Picasso exhibit there and I don't get that dude at all. Isn't he the one who cut off his ear or was that Van Gogh? I am pretty sure that was Vince now that I blog about it. American Gothic was cool and I love the suits or armor. Again I will go though my notes in the next blog and tell you some of my Picasso-esque observations. That is to say my distorted views because he has all of those distorted paintings of the messed-up faces. I think some people say they like things just because they think they are supposed to like them. We are all different and we all like different things. I think Picasso was a hack! He was probably good at public relations of he was related to somebody in the business.

I don' t get Picasso. I am the only honest one!

I shouldn't have started to blog when I knew I was not going to have a lot of time. Cha Cha called me right after I stated so now I have to finish eve if it is brief.

Fabio is at his very first tennis meet right now and I feel bad I am missing it. He is probably relieved that I am not there. I don't think he really cares if I am there or not but I have always liked to be supportive. Most of the time coaching both he and Splenda when they were young.

Anyway, I don't have time to proofread this though I usually just skim anyway so I apologize for any typos. I will blog again tomorrow and we may actually have time to record the podcast tonight? If we do I will have it uploaded in the next day or two. Hopefully I will have my earbuds back by then so I can listen to my own golden voice. Have a great rest of your day and night. TTTT...MITM (rushing to get checked OUT) TA!

This blog may not even be coherent but you at least know I am alive - in case I die on the way home. RIP me! TA again!

Pigs and Hogs and Mice

Tourism leads to violence?

It's Friday for me WOO HOO.

I don't know how much I can say about what is going on but I have to say I am extremely proud of Cha Cha. There will be more on this soon though. And how exciting for her to get to fly to Detroit. I told her while she is there she should try to get to Flint. She was in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago and going to Detroit now. That is two of the top three most violent cities in the U.S. of America and Flint would complete the trifecta. I think Flint may be considered part of Detroit's statistics to help propel them to the top. So, Oakland squeaks in at number three.

I am not really sure when we are going to be able to record the podcast this week. It will happen but I am not really sure when given that we (the royal "we") are jet-setters now and that makes recording a bit difficult. We know you will have withdrawals without your Dirty Laundry Podcast so we will make something happen.

Hey, this Spring thing is really working out for us. It's almost 39 degrees today. We're hearing a lot of bad-mouthing about the poor groundhog. Punxutawney Phil never asked to be yanked out of his hole and paraded around like the prize pig at the fair. Have you ever seen how miserable he looks? Who decided this is the way we should predict the weather? Now we want to string him up because of our warming the Earth and changing the weather. Groundhogs don't throw their plastics in the waterways. And, though their fur looks really nice most of the time I am sure they do not use aerosol hairsprays. Leave the damn hogs alone. Oh, ground HOG and prize PIG - coincidence? Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is the ground pig's fault. Let's string him up!!!

Now she is Old Hag Minnie

As long as I am blogging field animals let me transition to mice. What in the hell is up with Minnie Mouse's new outfit? This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Walt Disney has to be rolling over in his cryogenic chamber on Pluto right now (of course he is on Pluto where else would he be?). I am Mr. Blackwell, except for the obvious similarities, but polka dots never go out. Not to mention that Walt Disney was the person who designed Minnie's outfit and I think he seems to have had some sort of idea of his vision. It's the same thing that has happened to George Lucas over the years. People have always told him that his stories should have gone "this way" not the way he wrote them. These were his vision! If you were so smart why didn't you make these films? Another coincidence for today - the merging of Lucas and Disney (weird!).  She looks like Zsa Zsa GaMouse. Sounds like this new outfit is only for formal events and she may keep the old outfit for every day but that is how it starts. In a year or two the polka dots will be gone and they will have horn-swaggled us again. This is what they do all the time and we just keep letting it happen.  She looks like an old lady. Maybe she should wear curlers and bedroom slippers?

That idiot Jesse James just got married. I give it 20 months. I know I am going out on a limb but Sandra Bullock is better. They both have kids from previously relationships and have both been around the block several times but I am sure this one will stick. Four marriages may be the charm Jesse. I hope there are new matching tattoos in their futures. Nothing says love like matching hepatitis.

We went out a bought a new Fridge yesterday. It only cost $1000 but we get a $75 rebate so that's like money in our pocket. That $75 will come in handy to replace some of the things we threw out when the other fridge crapped-out. Now that I think about it the delivery charge is $49 - damn it! I have been had again. Pretty soon I will be Matt in the poorhouse. I will be looking up at the MIDDLE.

Detroit? Another coincidence?

I am so happy that I am a flexible person. I have always been pretty much a spur-of-the-moment, go-with-the-flow kinda guy. This week all of that is going to come in handy. I think I may have missed my calling. I would have made a really good spy because of the these attributes and my natural nosiness. Maybe I should start my own Pie company. I think I'd be a good Pie! Mattgum Pie! P.I.E. = Private Investigation Endeavor. Private Investigation Enterprises. I have to work on that. Who wants to team-up?

Obviously I am just trying to stretch this blog out. I apologize. Have a great night. Thank you for stopping in. I am sure I will blog tomorrow and Wednesday I may blog twice. I have never done that but I may do it just to do it now that I think about it. I am hearing Matt Damon doing a commercial for TV Ameritrade on the television. I am sure happy he finally found some work. This drives me crazy as I have said here and on the podcast but then I mentioned their company in my blog because they use a mega-celebrity so who is the dummy? No answer needed there. Have a great night and I will hit you sometime tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (out - or am I? that's my PIE practice) TA!

Power Ball-less Wonder!

The Bates Home

Happened in on the start of Bates Motel. It is a replay of the premier episode. I immediately recognized the kid that plays Norman Bates. I could tell by his mouth who the actor is. I knew right away that he is the kid that played Charlie Bucket in Charlie and the Chocolate. You know, the one with Johnny Depp. I IMDb'd it and I was correct. I have always been good at recognizing people like this. I think I may have missed my calling as a police profiler or maybe a sketch artist. I cannot draw well so maybe the sketch artist part would not have been a good idea. I have a very analytically mind and I am nosy so a profiler would have been good. The mom (Mrs. Bates) is from the movie The Departed in case you're keeping score at home (she played the shrink). I bet she winds-up dead at some point. I just found out that Norman Bates' mom's name is Norma Bates (weird). I had no interest in watching this show but now I am hooked and the season pass is set up on the DVR. It's pretty good. I remember as a kid going to Universal Studios Hollywood and seeing the Bates' house up on the hill. It was near the parting of the Red Sea and just next to the foam boulders roaring down the hill at our tram. That was a fun trip.

Fabio and I just got back from playing tennis. We just hit the ball for a while and then we played one set. He won the set 7 games to 6. I had a great time on this nice Spring day. It was in the mid-40's unlike me who is slightly past that mid-way point. It's funny how mid-40's feels warm today but in June if that is what we get we are freezing. I have a few aches but nothing major. There is one muscle above my left ankle, on the outside of the leg, that aches a bit and I bet my back will hurt some tomorrow morning. Other than that it's all good.

Reg announcing the bounty on Tim McCracken

Between games we would gather the balls and I felt like Paul Crewe. The Burt Reynolds Paul Crewe not the Adam Sandler Paul Crewe. Though Reynolds was Nate Scarborough when Sandler was Crewe which even confuses me more. At the end of The Longest Yard, I am sure this will not be a spoiler for a movie from 1974, when he goes to pick up the game ball I had that scene running through my head. I always have film scenes in my noodle. When I am about five hours from going to work and I haven't slept much and I want to get a few hours or minutes of sleep I always feel like Reg Dunlop right after he puts the bounty on Tim "Dr. Hook" McCracken's head - "he's the coach and chief punk on that Syracuse team." I seriously think that every time I lie there trying to force myself to sleep.

I just intended to sit here for a few minutes and write a few lines for the blog I would write tomorrow so I wouldn't forget some of these thoughts and now it is almost an entire blog so I may as well keep going to make it a complete blog before I go try to Reg Dunlop it for a bit. I am almost past the point where it would be helpful to try to sleep though. WWRDD? He would sleep even if it were for a few moments I think.

I just heard of what is probably the most boring lunch ever. The new Pope and the last Pope had lunch together today. I cannot imagine the boring conversation that goes on at this lunch. I also just found out that nobody won the Powerball this past week and the drawing is again tonight. It starts at $320,000,000. Maybe I should head over to the store and plop down some cash so it can be worth more for whoever wins it. I am going to go to the store real quick and get a couple of Powerball tickets and pickup a few groceries and then come back and get some shut-eye (maybe 20 winks). I may or may not blog again tomorwo but I suppose that is always the case isn't it? Have a great rest of your weekend and thank you for settin' a spell. TTTT or M...MITM (soon to be rich and able to play someone to sleep for me) TA!

Maybe You Need a Refresher Blog!

It's the Fetzer Valve alright!

Who did college basketball horn-swaggle everybody into thinking that the NCAA Tournament is such a big deal. They pretty much take-over television by either having their games on every channel or by making all of the channels that are not showing games show re-runs. One thing I have always admired about shows like Survivor is that they don't buckle to this pressure. They continue to show their show and people seem to continue to watch it. Why was the DVR invented if not for times like these?

The refrigerator repair guy was just here and it is a condenser and possibly some of the other related components. It would cost at least $600-$700 to get the thing fixed. We may as well go and get a new refrigerator at this point. It was time to clean this one out anyway so I don't have to worry about that crappy chore. Our refrigerator needs have changed in the last seven years so now we can get one that fits out new refrigerator lifestyles. He was here for about ten minutes and it cost $40. He only charged me for "half of a service call." One other nice thing is that now I can go back to sleep once I wash the dishes (or put the ones in the dishwasher away and swap the dirty ones for their friends in the sauna). I was hoping it was gonna be just a Fetzer Valve or the ball bearings. What happened to "it's all ball bearings these days?" Maybe this guy needs a refresher course.

The refrigerator repairman looked very familiar

Last night I came face-to-faces with three deer. I walked out of a building at about 23:15 and there were three deer frozen like statues staring at me. There were no antlers or horns or a rack or whatever people who know what those things are called call them. I took my flashlight and shined it on them and then waved it  so the light went to my left find of like one of those dudes with those orange-nippled lights do when you are taxiing on a runway. The dear actually slowly went toward where I waved them to go. I slowly walked the other direction (to my right) and there was a mutual understanding. I am The Deer Whisperer. or maybe The Deer Flashlighterer. They were beautiful. I am thankful they weren't coyotes or wolves or something because I don't think I am quite at that skill-level of flashlighting. I would have been The Coyote Dinnerer instead of the whisperer I fear. Maybe not. I don't really have fear of animals and I mean them no harm; I love all animals and wouldn't kill any of them unless it were me or them I suppose. I hope I never have to make that decision. (Hey spell-check I realize: flashlighterer, flashlighting and dinnerer are not words so quit yelling at me with the red squiggles. Blogging gives me poetic license to make things up so get off my case!)

The best part of the refrigerator dude being gone is that now I am comfortably home alone and back in my boxers. Sorry for the painful mental picture but that blog will get better now that I am more comfortable. Maybe we should start blogging in our jammies? I wonder if guests would come over in their jammies to be on the show? Oh yeah, the new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. I don't know how we keep stumbling into great music but we have another great song that you will not hear anywhere else; at least not yet. We also have one of the funniest commercials that I have ever heard. My opinion of funny isn't always the same as other people's. I know if my mom listened to the podcast after she heard this commercial she'd say "MATTHEW!" But mom, it's a real commercial. We may have something really exciting to announce soon; our Art Director is working on something very exciting. It may take awhile or nothing may come of it but I am excited.

I DVR'd the film Manhunter (1986) and am watching it while I blog. I have seen it a couple of times before but it has been awhile. It is really weird seeing somebody else portraying Hannibal Lecter. Anthony Hopkins was amazing as Lecter; easily one of the top-ten movie character portrayals of all time. Brian Cox is okay as Lecter and actually he is the original Lecter since Silence of the Lambs didn't come out for another five years. There is quite a resemblance between Cox's and Hopkins' portrayal of the madman. As I watch this again I am fairly certain that I watched this in the theater too. I think  Red Dragon (2002) was pretty much a remake of this movie. I love Edward Norton and Ralph Fiennes so I am pretty okay with that though it was not really necessary.

I am gonna lie down before I have to make a tennis practice pick-up. Have a great rest of your day and night. Depending on what kind of stress I have to work out I may blog sometime over the weekend between working and buying  new fridge. Thank you, as always, for hitching yourself up here for a spell.  Dr. Chilton is a little better in Silence of the Lambs too by the by. TTTWIBA (whenever I blog again)...MITM (chillin' in his skivvies) OUT!

Just a Bit of the Old Blog-in, Blog-out

On this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast

It's my Monday - booooo! The silicon chip inside my head is definitely on overload. I don't dislike Mondays really bad but it is not my favorite day of the week. One nice thing is that the new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up at that link and on iTunes. We've doubled the price for the podcast - it was free and double that it still free. I think it's a pretty good show this week. We have a pretty funny commercial on the show (an actual commercial that I have heard about 12 times and have laughed every time. We also have a Maroon 5 song on the show this week that is not on any other shows or on any radio stations yet. I think it's great and I believe you will like it too.

I have to go pick Fabio up at tennis practice in a couple of minutes but I will be back to finish this blog. Most of my day was spent editing the podcast but I also did a few more loads of laundry. I went over and got three bags of solar salt and filled the water softener. I took the recycling to the curb. I am always proud that we have three times more recycling than we have regular refuse. I think refuse sounds better than garbage. While making and eating lunch (I chopped some carrots, celery and onions and added them to some chicken broth) I watched Happy Days and I am now watching The Brady Bunch. I am not really big on the NCAA basketball tournament and they hijacked Judge Judy so what else could I do? After I get Fabio I think I am going to take a nap before going to work. I always think that but it never happens the way I hope. They sure use a lot of flute music on The Brady Bunch - we don't hear the flute these days.

I am gonna head over and get Fabio now and will come back and finish writing this very entertaining blog.

Now it is almost 18:30 and I do not believe I will get a nap. And tomorrow the refrigerator guy calls at 07:30 and tells me what time he will be here tomorrow. I hope he says something like 15:00 so I could sleep a bit tomorrow. Oh, woe is me.

I am gonna wrap this up so maybe I can get a few hours of sleep. Otherwise it's gonna be a really long night. Actually, it will be the same no MATTer what but it will seem like a longer night. Have a great night and I will most likely blog tomorrow while the refrigerator repair dude is working his magic. Thanks for stopping here and for listening to the podcast; you make me feel like I am not wasting my life. TTTT...MITM (zzzz?) TA!

Who is Vern Al E. Quinox?

Hey, Vern!

I am finishing Zero Dark Thirty right now. We started watching it last night and Cha Cha didn't not seem to get into it and there weren't enough gun battles or fire fights for Fabio right from the start so I decided to finish watching it right now. I am still working on the laundry and I am doing bills so I have time to watch the film simultaneously. It is a movie that you need to pay attention to if you want to enjoy it and understand what is going on. I think it is great! If you mistakenly get a check in the mail that looks like it is for mt internet provider or the satellite television service or something please let me know. Most I pay on-line but there are a few that have crappy websites and make it difficult for us to pay on line. It's the 21st century idiots - get with the times. They must has stock in the USPS.

It seems to be Vern Al E. Quinox's birthday. He must be a big deal because he has his name printed right on my calendar.

I knew aliens would be involved in this movie - they are now at Area 51. I hope Will Smith and Harry Connick Jr. show up soon. Kick the tires and light the fires big daddy! I hope they get this Ben Ladin fella that seems to be the villain in this movie. I won't wreck it for you whether they get him or not. Seriously, it's great to see a role for a strong woman in film and better yet when it is based on a true story. Those witches in Oz: The Great and Powerful were pretty strong too but they weren't real as far as I can tell.
I just heard that Colorado's Governor signed gun control bills. I think that may be a big deal. I am not sure but I always think about Colorado as part of the Old West along with: Arizona, Kansas, Missouri, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Oregon, Idaho, New Mexico, Texas. California too but they have jumped the shark from the Old West feel for me. I will ask Cha Cha later today/tonight on the podcast if that is a big deal but I am pretty sure that it is a big deal.

BRB - the washer and dryer are calling me because they are still hungry. I swear I can feed them non-stop and it would not be enough for them. I am back. I think I am developing folder's elbow. Also, while folding the movie is now over. I really liked the film but not much of a surprise ending; I hope me telling you that it was not a surprise ending is not a spoiler alert. Now I have to go back to the Redbox to return the movie. I want to go to the store anyway because I feel like making a pie. I am leaning toward apple but maybe I will make an apple and a blueberry? I have already made the crusts (2) so now what to fill them with? I would do four and twenty blackbirds but they are hard to come by. Maybe I will do an apple and do that deal where you put the other crust on the top of the pie and just have one pie. There are only three of us here so two pies is WAY too many. Even one pie is a little much. I could make two and Cha Cha or I could bring the second one to work. My work isn't conducive to pie but Cha Cha could take it in tomorrow I suppose. Everybody in offices love pie, right? Phyllis and Creed love pie. Kevin LOVES pie. Meredith and Toby would certainly have some. Dwight will tell Cha Cha how the apples aren't the right kind or something but Dwight can suck it!

I need to shake a tail feather (no offense to the blackbirds intended). I am headed to the store and then back to continue to fold and start prepping for the podcast. If you haven't gotten your mail in yet there is still time as I write this. DirtyLaundryPodcast.com

Have a great rest of your day and your night. I will let you know when Dirty Laundry Podcast is ready - probably tomorrow morning. I really appreciate you reading this whenever you can and listening to the podcast while you're on the treadmill or whatever you do while you listen to our shenanigans. TTTT...MITM (enjoying Vern Quinox's birthday) TA!

No Volcano Onion for YOU!

Happy Winter Spring! The news people who like to keep us depressed with all of the bad news are saying that it was almost 80 degrees here in the MIDDLEwest when Spring sprung last year. While I was toodling around town in the MIDDLE of the night last night I saw the bank telling me that it was 17 degrees and the bad news guy who interrupted the music every now and then told me that it was four degrees below zero with the wind chill. Why do I need to know the wind chill? Whether it's 17 and windy or it feels like four below zero I am going to pretty much dress the same but they just need to make things seem worse than they are - thank goodness for podcasts that are more upbeat and either focus on the good or make fun of the bad.

When I got off work I got three hours of sleep and then took care of some business. I called the refrigerator repair man who is coming out on Friday, I changed the light bulbs in the upstairs hall ceiling light, I went grocery shopping (and put them away when I got home), I got Cha Cha's medicine, I got Cha Cha a couple of bottles of wine for her to review on the podcast tonight (Cha Cha's Whining), I threw $20 away for a chance to win $260,000,000+, I did the dishes, I just now started the laundry... that's most of it. I think we're going to try a newer restaurant in town for dinner tonight. It will not be in town long (prediction before I even go there) because it is a Japanese steakhouse. I think, from everything I have seen about the place, that it is like a Benihana or a Domo 77. The place is called Mikimoto Japanese Steakhouse & Sushi Bar. In the MIDDLE of a bunch of farm fields full of farmers and college students and idiots like me I am afraid they are not in the correct area. There is a very good sushi restaurant right next to them and I am assuming that they are connected so maybe I am wrong and the sushi place is doing so well they decided to branch-out. I hope they do that onion volcano thing. I love sushi and I love the dude throwing around spatulas and all of the clinking metal and pepper-mills.

Wait, he's Chinese not Japanese. Is Japanese luck crickets?

I am sure we will talk about the steakhouse when we record Dirty Laundry Podcast tonight. We will also talk about a movie we rented on DirecTv the other night (The Master). While I was out I also went to Redbox and got Zero Dark Thirty. I was surprised that it was in because it just came out. I have a feeling nobody knows it is out yet. Maybe we will watch it first and record the show tomorrow? There are so many decision in life that really don't mean anything but effect other subsequent decisions. Now that I think about it we may wait until tomorrow to record the show because we will be able to produce a much better show with that $300,000,000. Talk about a state-of-the-art podcasting studio and the publicity for the podcast when we collect that check. Bribing people to listen to the podcast would not even beneath me with that kind of bank. Imagine the guests we could buy.

For all of you wanna-be reality show stars Big Brother is holding an open casting call at the Cubby Bear on Addison in Chicago on Saturday, March 30th from 1-4PM. Remember where you heard about it if you get on the show when I call you to be on the podcast. I may have that lottery money by then so double bonus for you. Maybe I should audition. They take old morons on that show too right? I have never seen that show but I saw when Jimmy Hughes (you know, Greg Warner's security guard brother-in-law) was on the show on Yes, Dear and I picture me on the show being like he was. You can go to CBS.com if you are looking for more information. There are abut 14 of you that immediately come to mind that would be great on that show (yes, I mean YOU!).

Cha Cha just texted me that she may not want to go out for dinner tonight because "it's too cold." We're not eating outside for crying out loud. We are taking a vehicle that I can warm up before she gets into it from the garage and parking right in front of the door or, if not, I will drop her at the door as I normally do. The horse is sick so we're not taking the one horse open sleigh. So, most of the things I previously wrote here may now be lies. I am going to quit now before I unintentionally lie some more. Did I mention that Marissa Tomei and Jessica Alba are stalking me? I was pretty excited about the potential for a volcano onion too damn it!

Love me some volcano onion!

Now that I am bummed I am going to start another load of laundry. I will probably blog again tomorrow but apparently I will have nothing fun to blog about but maybe a frozen pizza or something. I guess we will have more time to watch Zero Dark Thirty now. Have a great night and thanks a lot for reading my crabbing. I will also get caught up on my Words With Friends this way. When the world hands you onions... you know, volcano onions! TTTT...MITM (I guess she didn't know I was gonna win that Powerball dealy tonight did she?) TA!

My How I Do Blog On!

It seems like Winter is back. Hopefully, this will be a shirt stint. They tell us that Spring is almost here so we may have sun at the end of the tunnel.

I got Dirty Laundry Podcast up over the weekend. This was the most frustrating editing of the show which is now going on 103 episodes. You'd think that I would know what I am doing by now. It was actually some kind of hardware issue that was deleting files and making me redo things I had already redone ten times previously. I have not listened to the show since it has been sent to iTunes but I was just happy to have anything available by the time I was finished.

Speaking of things going haywire in the house - our refrigerator has taken a poop. The freezer portion works fine but the refrigerator isn't getting as cold as it is supposed to. Fortunately we have a fridge in the garage so I transferred all of the things requiring refrigeration to that fridge. I have tomorrow and Wednesday so it's either call a repair man or get a new fridge. We have had the thing since we moved into this house about nine years ago but I thought refrigerators lasted a lot longer than that. The one in the garage, given to us by The Lost Sock several years ago when he got a new garage fridge, looks like it is form the 1970's but maybe they made things better back then? I just got done spending $300 on some Cardinals vs. Cubs tickets for when my brother comes here from Hawaii. I wish I had known that the fridge was going to crap-out before I bought those things; that would have been a large portion of the cost of the refrigerator. He loves the Cubs but he is still my brother so I will forgive him that because we are brain-washed .

Someone is claiming that Michael Jordan fathered her child 16 years ago. Really? A professional athlete cheating on his wife? Get real! Athletes don't cheat. All of this bologna about Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong supposedly cheating have led to even more lies. Oh, I just Google that and I guess Woods and Armstrong admitted cheating. Where have I been? Those world-class athletes cheated? Come on! It sounds like Jordan got off (no pun intended) of these allegations. So did Armstrong for many years. I am not saying that Jordan cheated on his wife but it sure quacks like a duck to me. 

There is a film coming out soon about one of my favorite athletes of all time coming out soon that I am really looking forward to seeing. This is an athlete who I am fairly certain did not cheat. The film is called 42 and one day every baseball season every player in Major League Baseball wears this number on his uniform. I am sure you realize that I am blogging about Jackie Robinson. What an amazing person he was. Why didn't they get the film out in February? Wouldn't it have made sense to get it out during Black History Month? Sine I mentioned the Cubs/Cardinals game I should mention that even though the number 42 is retired by every major league baseball team it is retired for someone in addition to Robinson in St. Louis. How cool is it to see you number retired and to know you shared it with Jackie Robinson. In St. Louis #42 is retired for both Robinson and former Cub Bruce Sutter. Bruce wore 42 before it was retired by MLB in 1997.

I am so glad to see Sarah Palin back in the media. She has got to be one of the most entertaining morons in the history of history. I am sure I could make a pretty good list and I know she would make the top five for certain. She is going to make blogging and podcasting easier just by being herself. Thank you Sarah!

I just saw a clip of a show called Splash! that is going be on ABC starting tomorrow. From what I can get from the commercial it seems to be a Dancing with the Stars of celebrity diving. I am gonna check what it is - BRB. I was correct. They dive each week and then one gets voted off each week. Throw in a bunch of celebrity hotties (Keisha Knight Pulliam - Rudy from The Cosby Show, Nicole Eggert - Summer from Baywatch, Miss Alabama Katherine Webb, skiier Rory Bushfield...), a midget (Chuey from Chelsea Lately), an obese comedian (Louie Anderson), a hugely tall former NBA star (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar)... and you have a side-show that I may watch it just to report on it for you - probably not.  Good God are we really getting this desperate? I never thought things would get worse on television but every single day I am proven wrong. Newton Minow was a profit. I am not going to tell you who Newton Minow was so you can A.) look it up or, B.) listen to the next podcast when we talk about him (I have to write that down so I remember to talk about him and the dumbing down of television). 

Okay, I have to go out to the refrigerator in the garage and get dinner started. I feel like Caroline Ingalls. Thanks a lot for hanging-out for a bit. Have a great night. I don't mean to threaten you but I will probably blog again tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (ghost) TA!

Blog Wars

This one may be a real "wars" show too

There is so much hostility in America. Parking Wars, Border Wars, Storage Wars, Shipping Wars, Whale Wars, Storage Wars: Texas, Whisker Wars, Cupcake Wars, Design Wars, Food Wars, Container Wars, Fan Wars... I wish I knew someone else who blogged so I could start Blog Wars. I am fairly certain that the word "war" in all of these show titles is a bit over the top. Some of these shows have lasted longer than most wars and the same people keep coming back week after week. If we ever really go to full-out war with another country I wonder if people will really appreciate the magnitude of what war is? Whale Wars was probably the only one that was a real war. I have never seen the show but I believe it is actually a war for the whales. I think they were fighting for their lives.

Why isn't throwing cigarette butts out of a car littering? I see this just about every day and it disgusts me. I am not a butt fan (the cigarette ones) so I am not really up on my butt facts but I bet they are not biodegradable. Maybe there should be Butt Wars. I guarantee that the first week or two of the show would do well based on the title alone and then it would probably end. Is littering even punishable by law? The only things I throw out of a vehicle are: banana peels, orange peels, apple cores... Maybe that is wrong too but in my mind they offer food for smaller animals and birds and they are all 100% biodegradable. I just think the planet has a tough enough time trying to keep us safe so I do my part to help her.

Sinatra, Dino, Sammy, Lawford and Mr. Roper

I read that a man tapped into a casino's surveillance system and managed to use the information he received to rob the Crown Casino of over $33,000,000 (I could have just written "$33 Million" but it looks bigger the other way and this way I can squeak out a few more words to make the blog look longer). I am not sure if casinos in Australia are run and owned by organized crime like they are in America but this is a gutsy thing to do. When I say "organized crime" I also include people/companies like: Donald Trump, Carl Icahn, American Real Estate Properties, Goldman Sachs... Reports are saying that the person who pulled-off this heist (how often do you get to use that word?) was a "foreigner." My money is on an American (yeah team!). I am not sure from the report that I read if the guy has been caught but they say he "has been identified through surveillance video and has been banned from their casinos." That seems kind of drastic; banning him from their casinos LOL. From what I can make out he was wearing an earpiece and was being told information that an accomplice was feeding him through the earpiece. He was cheating rather than robbing the vault like in Oceans Eleven. It's pretty funny that this is even a crime when the casinos cheat the odds by manipulating machines and doing the same types of things this dude was doing to cheat them. Casino Wars!

Did you hear that the new Pope had a girlfriend before becoming Pope? A woman came forward with a love letter he had written her. Scandal in the Catholic church? That is unusual. Okay, they were twelve-years-old. I am not really good about the suspense thing. I should have mentioned the scandal part at the beginning and then said what the scandal is at the end. Damn it! I could have still done that now and you would never have known that I didn't. Damn it, I did it again. At least this Pope likes (or at least liked) women. Pope Wars!

I have to take a few moments to reflect and repent for my blogging. I appreciate you being here and thank you much. Have a great night. I may or may not blog this weekend but I still have to finish fixing the podcast and getting it uploaded so I probably won't. If I don't talk at you by Sunday have a great St. Patrick's Day. TTTWKW (who knows when)...MITM (gone) TA!

3.14 is the Loneliest Number

Happy 3.14! I am not sure if there is going to be a podcast this week. We recorded it Tuesday night and I have been working on editing it for about 24 hours (not continuously) with several problems in editing. I will probably wait until tomorrow and work on it again but it is not going to be as good as I envision. I feel like I have to get the show uploaded but when a hobby starts to become a nuisance and troublesome is it worth continuing? I really do like doing the show but I also really enjoy as little stress in life as possible; my yin and yang.

I cannot think about the blog because I am so distracted about the podcast; I have to get past this thing.

There's a new Pope. Carnival Cruise Lines has another ship that isn't ship-shape. Where did that expression ever come from? I thought the new Pope was gonna be Peter Turkson from Ghana. I am happy I didn't drop  a bet on him. This guy is from Argentina. I don't know his real name but I know his stage name is Francis. I checked and it's Jorge Bergolgio. He took a vow of poverty when he was 22-years-old and he has been living that way ever since. Now he will have someone wiping his butt. How does he continue to live by his vow? Maybe there was an exception in his vow if he became Pope? It seems, based on his living in poverty alone, he is the correct Pope for the job. But now he rides in a car more exclusive than the Bat-Mobile and the powerful Mach 5 - The Popemobile.

I am starting to chill about the podcast. I think, like Pete Mitchell - call sign Maverick - in Top Gun, I was holding on too tonight. I should be ready to re-engage tomorrow I think. Can you tell I like Top Gun. I still do and am happy that it is on Netflix now but I really do not care for Tom Cruise anymore. Cha Cha makes fun of me about liking the film every now and then. I saw a preview for the new Tom Cruise film and thought to myself that I will probably never watch another new Tom Cruise film again. I think I saw the preview before Oz: The Great and Powerful. We talk about Oz on the podcast and if I ever get it launched you will find out what we thought of it. I know I should be able to separate the actors from their films but I am too shallow. That's why, because of the blog and the podcast, I live such a wholesome life. Without these media vehicles of such high exposure I would be Charlie Sheen - another person who I will never watch any work of again. Who else? Jay Leno. The list has nothing to do with acting chops (ability) just general dislike of the person. I know there is a longer list than that but I will have to think about that. I wonder why Mel Gibson isn't on that list? Must be strange criteria to join this exclusive club. So exclusive that the one and only voting member cannot even list how to get in the club. Talk about exclusive!

Writing a blog is very therapeutic. I am about ready to go back down to the studio and finish editing the podcast. I am going to wait until tomorrow though.

Already have my vote!

I just heard that the Democrats may be thinking about a Clinton - Obama Preferential ticket for 2016. That would be weird. Bill and Barack? No. Hillary and Michelle! I already know if that ticket is a choice I am voting for them. I like both of these women and I think they'd do great jobs. I am already putting the entire force of Dirty Laundry Podcast's and Matt In The Middle's support behind this ticket. Can you imagine a woman President and VP? Take that third-world countries that make women cover their faces in public. Even the fact that they could run if they wanted to is cool.

There have been a lot of big trades and signings in the NFL off-season. Percy Harvin is now a Seahawk and Anquan Boldin is now a 49'er and Steven Jackson is now a Falcon. Times have sure changed from when I was a kid. Back when I was a youngster (said in an old man voice) players would be with one team their entire careers. Do any players stay with their teams fro their whole career anymore?

Thank you for helping me distract myself from my podcast editing woes. Maybe I just need to get out of the studio for awhile? Three days until St. Patrick's Day. Thank you for stopping-in. Have a great Thrusnight. I am gonna take an old man nap now. TTTT (?)...MITM (toast) TA!

The Blog from Hell (once I die)

This whole Pope election is one of the biggest scams in the world. There is NO WAY they will "elect" a new Pope on the first ballot. This is really like a Cardinal convention paid for by their parishioners. All of you good Catholics make sure you put a little extra in the collection plate for the next couple of months in case your local representatives want some room service. And then there are all of the top news people from every new agency the world over who "have to" go cover this event. I have nothing against organized religion but I have a lot against the way the people at the top of many of these religions take advantage of the people who follow them. Many feel they cannot say anything because God will bring fire and brimstone down on us. I just hate to see people exploiting their people. Why couldn't they vote electronically and use all of the money this is costing to help feed the poor or cloth the homeless or start a soup kitchen in their home towns. The Vatican already has plenty of tourism money from people who come over to see the opulence. Maybe they should do their convention or meeting or whatever this really is in a place where a community could really use the money. I am not sure where that would be but maybe Flint or Detroit Michigan? How about someplace in Africa in one of the ten poorest countries in the World? I believe many of these men are in this BUSINESS for the right thing but how many of us have worked for a company that we thought were making a difference and cared about their customers and employees just to find out that they were in it to rob and cheat their customers and employees? The job is was at for the longest time in my life I was in that situation but once you get in you cannot get out for many reasons.

I surely didn't intend to go off on organized religion but sometimes I get carried away. And some day I am sure I will. If people could just have personal relationships with their chosen Gods imagine how much nicer the world and our history would be.

We recorded Dirty Laundry Podcast last night, I will edit it today and maybe even tomorrow morning and it will be up by tomorrow morning sometime. I did upload our first installment of Treadmill Theater onto the Podomatic site and iTunes. It is only five minutes long and the first couple of minutes are dead air. I will be doing this every week until we or you get tired of it.

Last week was my mom's birthday. I called her but did not go over because of the blizzard. I told her that I would come over today so I will go over and see her today. I am going to take her out for lunch because I cannot be in their house very long because I am allergic to cats. I am not super allergic but my parents have five or six cats and their whole house smells like cats and there is fur flying (not like in a fight but just like a fur fog). I make it sound worse than it is but not by much. And, of course, when they go on trips guess who is the one who gets to catsit? I just go and feed them and empty the litter boxes (five litter boxes) but I walk out with a stuffed-up nose and itchy eyes.

I am down in the studio now finishing the blog and editing the podcast. I am also getting pinged by Facebook that I have some Words With Friends moves to make. The internet was supposed to make our lives easier but it is really just giving us more and more to do.

I have to wrap this up and it is distracting me from editing the podcast. That is a preemptive excuse in case the podcast stinks this week. I guess it can also serve as a mea culpa for the blog too. Have a great day. I will let you know when the new podcast is ready for your digestion. Thank you for stopping in for a bit. Is there a new Pope yet? No, the will vote "no" again twice today after lunch and then they will try again tomorrow. They are at a Cardinal sales meeting and they are not gonna leave without getting as many free meals and golf and room service and shows on the company's dime as they can I have been to many national sales meetings in my day and I know how this works. TTTT...MITM (out)!

Mucho Take It Easy!

I will probably be bringing-on public ridicule and maybe a lynching but I think many of the people in my neighborhood are, I am trying to think of the proper word, maybe egomaniacle or control-freakish... I know we have podcasted about it before and I am certain that I have mentioned it here previously but it is almost past the point of entertainment now. I like people who behave a little differently. I am entertained by what I consider odd behavior. Yes, I know we all have different definitions of "odd" and I am certain that I fit many people's definitions of this word (I am a very observant person and I have seen the looks);. Apparently someone had put some political signs at the front of our subdivision and someone posted on our neighborhood Facebook page, "did anybody give permission for the signs..." Since I started writing this paragraph I took my frustration to the subdivision page and I fear that I may be a neighborhood pariah now. I don't really care because we live near the front of the subdivision so we are quick in and quick out. I seem to be a young soul living in a retirement community of souls. There are many exceptions, of course, but I am glad I live here because it makes me feel so much better about myself.

I slipped on some ice last night. Good thing I am built like a Weeble crossed with a punching bag.

Now you have Nacho Libre in your head too

Wow, this whole Pope thing is so exciting. I haven't had this much suspense in my life since ESPN showed the World Series of Go Fish. Maybe the time I watched the World Cup of Crocheting was close too. This has got to be one of the dumbest things on the face of the planet. Have a vote and get a Pope already. Does it really make a difference who the Pope is? Maybe they should choose the Pope by playing a Gold Fish single-elimination tournament. Everybody who knows me knows that I am a St. Louis Cardinals' fan but this whole thing may have me rethink that. How about The Padres? You never hear anybody say "I am a Padres' fan." Monks seem like they make decisions a little quicker and don't make such a big deal out of everything. Now I have Nacho Libre stuck in my head. Hey Homeowners Association and Catholic Church - mucho take it easy! Just looking at the word Catholic makes me want to start a new word - Cathohalic. Cathohalic - being addicted to the act of choosing or watching the picking of a new Pope.

I just found a funny story but I am saving it for Dirty Laundry Podcast that we record in about seven hours. I am such a tease. Not on purpose, I promise. I am too stupid to be that calculating.

I'm tired boss, dog tired. I am tired of being tired. The reason I am always tired is because of my schedule. This is why rock stars and actors become dependent on ways to stay awake. I am off for the next two days so I will get caught-up on the sleep but then the topsy-turvy fun begins all over again.

I am thinking about stir-fry for dinner. I do pretty good stir-fry, it's healthy, it's delicious... = pros. It's time-consuming, the prep makes a mess, I have to shop for the veggies...= cons. It really doesn't MATTer what the pros and cons are I have already pretty much convinced myself. Do I include fish or chicken or crab or shrimp? Maybe shrimp and crab. Just typing that convinced me. Let's see... we already have onion, peas, corn, broccoli, carrots and celery. We have lots of kinds of rice. I need more than I have. I have to pick up Fabio at tennis practice at 17:00 so I can get the goods before I pick him up (it is currently 14:16). I just realized that we have two woks and I love woks. I use them as frying pans and saute pans all the time. I'm a wokaholic (patent/trademark/copyright). I wok like a man. I am gonna take a wok on the wild side. All wok and no play makes MATT a sexy boy. I would wok 500 miles. I don't wanna wok I just want to... never-mind I do wanna wok! Are these the kinds of things that go on in your head too or is it just me?

I need to get dressed (I am life Hef lounging around in my jammies at 14:21), make my shopping list and get moving. I have lots and lots of show prep to get done for the podcast too. Thanks a lot for hanging-out. Have a great night. TTTT...MITM (taking a wok on the wild side) TA!

Let's See Who I Can Offend Today!

This whole Pope thing is totally ridiculous to me. Now they have installed jamming devices in the Vatican because they cannot trust their Cardinals not to discuss their highly secret meeting while wearing hoods and robes and whatnot. So one of these geezers soon to be the new Godfather and they cannot keep their mouths shut? What are they gonna do sell information to media outlets? They already live better than every one of us ever will and they need money? For what? I think they should have a Vatican reality show except they are all old wrinkly dudes and everybody knows that you have to have some hot women to have a successful reality show. Even Duck Dynasty, which is all scripted like 97.6% of all reality shows (that is a published number so it must be correct - it is published because I hit the "publish" button and you are reading it right now) has hot wives on the show. These guys cannot be trusted to keep their mouths shut but they are the guys that hear confessions? They hear peoples' deepest, darkest secrets and they are a bunch of blabber-mouths? People know all of this and keep flocking to these men and forking over the cash. How come organized religion isn't hit by these bad economic times? They even have gold roofs in their Emerald City after all of the hush money they pay out.

Supposedly a profit back in the 12th century, Irish Archbishop Malachy O'Morgair, predicted that the 112th Pope would be the last one. The one they are electing now is the 112th. Malachy had a vision that saw Benedict XVI as the 111th Pope and the one following him would be the last. I cannot hear Malachy and not think of The Malachi Crunch! Maybe we only have one more rein of this madness even though if they choose a young enough person it could last another 50-60 years. Now that I have alienated most religious people I shall move-on.

Blogging of The Emerald City reminded me that City Cha Cha and I saw Oz, The Great and Powerful yesterday. I know we will talk about it on Dirty Laundry Podcast but (spoiler alert) I will just let you know that I really enjoyed the film. I heard that it was a true story but I have a hard time believing that. I didn't really hear that so I am not sure why I wrote that it is based on a true story.

It's like looking in a mirror (an Oz, Great & Powerful one)

I just saw a headline for a story on MSN about health secrets of celebrity men over 40. I did not read the story because I am fairly convinced that that I cannot ever look like the two guys that they put the photos of on the story (Rob Lowe and Will Smith) and I bet I know what it says (basically). Get plenty of rest, eat right, avoid stress and exercise regularly. We all know what we are suppose to do to look like Will Smith and Rob Lowe but even if I did all of that I would still need: plastic surgery, will power (no pun intended), a personal trainer, a nutritionist, millions of dollars... I will just stay fat, wrinkled and ugly than you very much.

I have a bunch of stuff I have to get done before I leave to get some other stuff I have to get done done so I must end now. Actually, my advisers told me to end because it seems that I am in a mood that is going to get me into trouble if I keep blogging.  Have a great day and night. I apologize if I offended any of you beliefs or feelings. I know you are smart enough to get over it. I don't care if you slam my thoughts or beliefs or I wouldn't potentially slam some of yours. If I am in a more agreeable mood I will blog again tomorrow. TTTNT (next time) MITM (Audi 5000) TA!

A Flip of the Coin Called Earth (TAILS)

It is Saturday afternoon; something I like to call the MIDDLE of Tuesday night. My Wednesday morning will be here before you know it. Tonight we lose an hour. If we learned to put our stuff away when we were done with them we wouldn't lose things. I get my 20% raise at work beginning one week from today. So I've got that going for me which is nice.

Cha Cha and I are thinking about going to see Oz: The Great and Powerful this afternoon. It is 14:37 right now and the showtimes are 15:30 and 16:30 but Cha Cha has fallen asleep on the couch downstairs so I will be surprised if it happens today. I am not going to wake her because I have been told that sleep is important. I don't believe in sleep. I know it exists because I have seen it but I have not been able to catch one of these specimens for myself. I have a feeling that we will see it tomorrow instead of today.

I think I am going to upload our new podcast feature - Treadmill Theater - separately onto iTunes tomorrow. It is only a couple of minutes long but I have remastered it so it is easier to hear and understand. It will be free too, of course, so what will it hurt to make it available? I will let you know if and when I do this in case you're interested. I smell spin-off. It will be the Joanie Loves Chachi of Dirty Laundry Podcast. That was a bad choice. Maybe the Mork and Mindy or Laverne and Shirley or Blansky's Beauties or Out of the Blue of Dirty Laundry Podcast instead. Wow, Happy Days had some spin-off power didn't it? Or, are these all just spin-offs from Love, American Style? Did you know that Happy Days was a spin-off from Love, American Style (that's one of my favorite trivia questions). I wonder what television show had the most spin-offs in history? Those CSI shows seem to be everywhere. The Mary Tyler Moore show had: Lou Grant, Phyllis and Rhoda. All In The Family had: The Jeffersons, Maude, Archie Bunker's Place, Gloria. I am showing off my Radio-Television college education now. I am quite the television scholar (my major really was Radio-Television - how sad is that?).
Did you hear that Victoria's Secret is starting a teen line? I know I am a MIDDLE fart bordering on the other side of MIDDLE so it makes sense that I have a problem with this. There are so many sexually-related crimes in our country so maybe this isn't such a great idea. One thing, besides increasing: sexually transmitted diseases, teen pregnancy, date rape..., is it will further anger all of the MIDDLEeastern countries. We are certainly the flip side of their coin. Hah, Earth is just a giant coin. That would be something. If there is a huge dude/dudette sitting in a chair in the clouds maybe planets are like his/her coins. Maybe that is what fate is - a flip of the planet? Wow, do I wax philosophical sometimes? I recommend just sitting down and just start typing - you never know what'll escape from your fingers.

I am gonna mosie downstairs and see if Cha Cha is awake. It is 15:30 now so that show is out but the 16:30 feature is still in play. It's ironic that spell-check wanted to change "mosie" to "movie." Have a great night and thanks, as always, for making me feel special. Remember to set your clocks ahead an hour so you don't miss The Walking Dead tomorrow night. I assume the DVR will make those changes automatically. I wish the house would do that. I usually spend about two hours on these days trying to get all of the clocks changed. Maybe that's why we don't abolish this lunacy? It's two days a year we get a little exercise. TTTMonday (probably)...MITM (the cute and powderful). TA!

Marathon Matt!

News flash - I am old! Last night I walked for about seven hours straight in sub-zero temperatures outside and it actually made me tired. You know that you're walking way too much when your iPod battery goes dead about half-way through your walk while trying to keep up with you on the pedometer. I laugh at the lack of toughness at technology. I scoff at you! Based on the mileage Roz was on when she went dead and the time she lasted I would say I walked about 26 miles. "I would walk 26 miles and I would walk 26 more..." Parts of me are a bit sore but nothing to blog about except for the fact that I just blogged about it.

Dirty Laundry Podcast is up and, though it is good, I honestly don't feel it was one of our best shows. My editing skills this week were sub-par I believe and I take all of the blame if, after you listen, you agree. It's like the most recent episode of The Walking Dead in a way. I thought the most recent Walking Dead was good and know that a lot of the things that occurred on this episode will lead to other story lines later but I have heard many people say that this WD was a waste of a show. I disagree. Some really exciting things from the podcast world that I am certain we will be talking about next week are: friend of the show and past guest Ingrid Serban just made #1 in the country category on Reverbnation (click that link if you want to hear a couple of her songs). I would not call her music "country" but we have a need to label things in this country so being number one in anything like this is awesome. I am so excited for her; she is so nice and talented and I love when nice things happen to nice people. I like to believe in karma and these kinds of things renew my faith in karma. You can also listen to her and Forest Sun (her husband and another extremely talented and nice musician who has had many, many musical accolades) on some of our past podcasts - particularly show #81 from October when they were our guests.

Ingrid Serban

Hey, I just thought - isn't a marathon 26 miles? I did not even think of that when I did my cipherin'. I did a seven hour mile - cool. It wasn't all just walking as I was working as well but the 26 mile part, I am confident, is accurate if not very close. I need to get a bumper sticker for my car for that marathon. I don't feel bad about feeling a little sore today now. Let's see some of these marathoners do their "run" in five feet of snow!

The other cool thing happening to one of our past guests (from two paragraphs ago) is: Greg Weindorf (our Entertainment Director) flew to Atlanta and was part of a concert at his brother's house for a Jim Bianco concert. Yes, I said "at his brother's house for a concert." Jim Bianco is on his Ruin You Rug Tour 2013. He  goes to peoples' homes and plays and records at their homes for his upcoming album. What a great idea! He will be in Milwaukee, WI on March 22nd and in Elgin, IL on March 23rd. I don't know why I mention that because we cannot go because they are "private concerts" at people's homes. Greg, however, did speak to Bianco and we are going to begin playing his music on the podcast now too. Maybe when he's in Elgin he would stop by a little further west in the MIDDLEwest for a podcast interview? You know I am gonna ask.

The film The Wrestler is on right now. I actually love this film. Mickey Rourke's best work I think. He was good in Iron Man 2 too I must say. He has five films in production/post-production. Strike while the iron's hot - especially in film. We are such a fickle audience.

I am starting to think that the podcast needs to get it's own blog. That's not going to happen but once a week, at least, this blog becomes a blog about the show. I guess the blog is about my life and rantings and that is a huge part of my life right now. When I am taking my dirty nap in a few years people will be able to look back and say, "what was wrong with this dude?" At least this way there will be no secret to that question.

I have a line on a different job and I am weighing the pros and cons of switching. When I say switching I guess I may just mean applying because once I apply (if I do) it's not entirely up to me if I "switch." I really like my current job but there are several things that I do not like; that is true with every job everybody has had in the history of jobs I know. My work anniversary date is in eight days and I get a 20% raise then so that is a good thing too. A 20% raise is really good now that I do the math. I also like that my current job is only five minutes away. This new job would be similar money but quite a bit further. The hours would be a bit better but the thing that I would like the most is the days off. I would actually be off Saturdays and Sundays instead of Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Most of my issue is my days off I think. If I could even get one traditional weekend day off I would be able to spend more time with my family and friends. Aren't family and friends what life should really be about? We work so we can better live our lives don't we? Why should family and life have to take the back seat to work? They should be driving! (wow that would be a great T-shirt) There will be more blog about this later I am sure.

Thanks a lot for stopping-on-by. I am always happy to see that you stopped in. Have a great rest of your Friday and your Frinight. I will probably (79%) blog again this weekend sometime. I have one less hour to work this weekend and one less hour to blog. TTTSometime soon...MITM (out preparing to Spring ahead). TA!

I MUST BLOG YOU!

"Ice.... you vill loose!"

You know it is a slow day in the news when MSN is doing a story on shoes in movies and the two that they put on their preview page are Olivia Newton John in Grease (1978) and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (1990). I guess shoes were a lot bigger deal 20+ years ago than they are now. It makes me think that 1990 was a real long time ago.

I just went out and cleaned out the end of the driveway where the plows decided to deposit all of the snow from our sac (cul-de-sac). I say snow but it was actually 8" of solid ice. I had to use the metal flat shovel and bust it up before I moved it. I still have more to do but the alarm on my iPod told me it was time to get Fabio up for school. If you want some good snow shoveling music I have to recommend AC/DC. I finished with one of my favorites of their songs that you don't hear about much - Let There Be Rock! I was actually kind of disappointed that the alarm went off because I was getting a little early morning cardio (ala Rocky IV). I was going totally Ivan Drago on the ice's butt! (Incidentally, I realize the photo caption should say "ice...you will lose" but then the Russian accent is lost that way. Please, no hate mail about how I don't know English while trying to make it sound Russian.)

Last night we recorded Dirty Laundry Podcast. I have not edited it yet but I will do that this morning. Of course, I will post on my Facebook page and on the Dirty Laundry Podcast Facebook page when the show is up free on iTunes (and available to listen to on-line). We begin a new feature this week called Treadmill Theater. It is produced by Preston Ulysses Sherwood. Also, of course, we have Cha Cha's Whining and Unsubstantiated News too.

Sunday we lose an hour. "Spring ahead!" I still, as I have mentioned every time daylight savings time has begun and ended since 1979, that this is ridiculous. Farmers don't need the extra light anymore so why do we still do this? Arizona is smart because they do not do it (except for the Navajo Nation in Arizona who do honor it). Hawaii does not observe daylight savings time. Neither do: Puerto Rico, Guam, U.S. Virgin Islands and North Mariana Islands. I thought most of Indiana didn't too but I am not sure about that one. I thought it was onle the area close to Illinois because a lot of those people commuted to the Chicago-area for work and can you imagine that headache? Trying to figure out what time it was 24 hours a day? I just read and found out that Indiana joined the lunacy in 2006. I am not up on my DST as much as I thought. I get off work early that night but I guess I get paid an hour less. I am still ahead because when the clocks went back an hour I got 1 1/2 hours OT so I am still 1/2 OT ahead and I get to come home an hour early. SWEET!

137 years ago today Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. This is also women's history month. I like women more than I like the telephone.

Just made Fabio's lunch. It would be so much simpler if he ate the hot lunch but he says that the line s really long and by the time he gets his food there isn't much time to eat. I guess this is better anyway because I know he is at least getting some healthy food this way. Whether he eats it or not I do not know but I do know he is getting it. He has money on his lunch account so be may be eating some junk too but he is active and I guess a little junk is okay. He got his tennis uniform yesterday. I figured it was just a polo shirt and shorts but I forgot about the sweats and stuff. He also has a uniform number - he is #19 (who knew they had numbers in tennis?). Today are team photos - he probably won't smile because sports are serious business.

I'll be back in a few minutes. If you never read this I didn't make it. But then you never would have read this to know that there was a chance that I didn't make it because you didn't know I was here in the first place. If I don't make it and someone finds this please hit the orange "publish" tab up on top of this page and this will be a blog from the other side. I will actually have published last words. How cool would that be? Now, if I did not make it and you are reading this I did not die on purpose so this would be cool it was just a coincidence or maybe a premonition. Booooooooo (just in case).

I am back. No collectors item for you and no great death story for my funeral - THIS TIME!

I probably could have ended the blog before I left now that I look at my length (there I go bragging again). While I was out I got the car washed. I have to get down to the studio and get the podcast edited. I am also doing the real laundry so if you have anything that needs to be washed drop it off; I should have it back to you by Saturday. I guess I need to get to the high school sometime today and drop a $100 check off for tennis. I should probably go to work sometime today too huh?  Have a super day. Get a little extra done within the next couple of days because we're gonna lose an hour. Thank you for stopping by; I always am happy that you did. Have a great day and I let you know when the show is done. TTTT...MITM (juggling chores) TA!