If Your Last Name is Washington Don't Read This!

Ever since yesterday when I ATTEMPTED to write the blog from my new crappy cell phone the software for writing the blog has changed and I am sure it's because of the phone. I am taking the phone back early next week when Splenda gets home for Spring Break - hers is having problems too and we may as well take hers in to get fixed and mine to get incinerated at the same time I think.

I saw Bill Cosby on Jimmy Fallon last night and he was talking about something that I have never really noticed. There are no white people with the last name of Washington. Do you know a white person named Washington? The father of our country was named Washington and our Nation's capital is named after him and there is no white Washington's? I am starting to think about our founding fathers while typing this and did none of them have descendants? I cannot think of anybody named Madison, Monroe, Buchanan, Franklin, Jefferson... and when I think further I don't know of anyone named Polk or Fillmore or Roosevelt or McKinley or Monroe... What is going on? I know there is a conspiracy here because I think everything is a conspiracy; I do that mainly to entertain myself as I walk gleefully through the nights.

While I am on politician talk (sort of) did you hear that prisoner #40892-424 is finally in prison? That's right, Illinois' esteemed Governor Rod Blagojevich (Blogo) was finally sent to his Club Fed in Colorado. Luckily he only has daughters so people in future generations may not have to remember the name Blagojevich. Hey, Barack Obama only has daughters too. Clinton too...Carter hey I figured it out - Maybe politicians only have daughters? Unfortunately for us George H.W. Bush broke the politician gender code and now we have been paying for that broken condom for about twelve years now. Curiouser and curiouser.

I think with all of the bad karma with the whole Blogo thing the Dirty laundry Podcast will leave Illinois for New York. We have decided that we will be able to get bigger guests if we set up shop outside of Jay Leno's or David Letterman's studios or near The Today Show or something. Oh wait, I am confusing my notes with Rosie O'Donnell's notes. Nevermind, we are staying here in the MIDDLEwest because Matt In The Right Side doesn't sound as good. Is anybody really surprised that Rosie is leaving Chicago. My guess is this was the plan all the time so Rosie could take some attention off of Oprah while she started her OWN network (yes, that is slightly redundant) and now that Oprah is done with her secret hiatus and is ready to rule the world again Rosie can go to New York with he Chicago New York accent. They take us for idiots....we're not idiots - we just don't really care that much.

Since today has kind of been an Illinois bash-fest I should mention something good about Illinois that I discovered. Illinois is the only state in the country that still mandates P.E. (physical education) in schools. I am proud in a way that we are the only state that does still try to help our children live a balanced life with activity but I am also saddened to find out that the other 49 (and probably Puerto Rico too) don't believe that physical activity is important. How are they supposed to do the Presidential Physical Fitness Test or whatever that torturous thing we had to be part of every year? I would think Michelle Obama would be pushing that P.E. be back in all schools (maybe she is). I loved P.E. - without it I never would have been an Olympic archer or a world-class square dancer. I seriously did love gym class.

Have a nice Wednight (hump night - TWSDS). Thank you for stopping by I appreciate you every day. TTTT...MITM (T-minus 2 until Splenda is home for Spring Break :))