Stop the Senseless Chia Pet Killing!!!!

When WGN was worth a darn!

So, what's the deal? It used to be April showers bring May flowers but now I am not sure if it's February showers bring March flowers or March showers bring April flowers. I am pretty sure things are messed-up.

I was just downstairs and Cha Cha was working on her computer (for work, of course) with WGN-TV on in the background. She usually watches the news while she's working and eating breakfast... They are complaining that we may lose WGN on Direct-TV because Direct-TV isn't paying them money to broadcast their station(s). I have a hard time feeling sorry for a huge company like WGN who charges Direct-TV for their programming yet still wants to sell the entire world Chia Pets and all of the other crap that their commercials peddle. I will feel sorry for you when you take off all of the commercials and you need the money providers like Direct-TV supposedly owes you. Other than when the Cardinals play the Cubs I could give a rat's patootie about your crap. Your commercial says that we will miss-out on the quality programming like Live! With Kelly and Two and a Half Men? Seriously? You are basing your worth on reruns of Two and a Half Men? If you sill had Ray Rayner and Bozo's Circus on I would feel like you cared. On a side-note - if you have Direct-TV you are probably receiving free Starz and Encore this weekend. We are getting them free right now and they started yesterday and I believe it goes through until Monday morning.

I am going to go get out of my work clothes and I will be right back. while I am gone discuss amongst yourselves what I should do with the half-a-billion dollars I am going to win tonight via the Mega Millions Lottery. I have some ideas but I would be open to your suggestions. BRB...

Roz...how about a musical interlude. Thank you for your patience and thank you Roz for that great song by a great band.

Mine's on the left and Cha Cha's is on the right!

The Illinois Lottery has made it possible for us to now buy lottery tickets on-line. I am not really sure how I feel about that. I know I will never do it because if you win they will know who you are immediately.  If I win I want to get my ducks in a row before I come forward. there are so many things you'd have to do so as not to get bombarded by new "friends" and charities and I'd want to know how to keep the lion's-share of the money instead of losing most of it to the thieving tax-man. I also worry that buying tickets on-line might make it possible for people to use credit to purchase tickets and that may destroy many families  with running-up lots of credit that they can never repay. I don't know the specifics of buying tickets on-line because I will not do it so will not research it.

Does Ginko Biloba small bad so that your don't forget to take it?

Fabio is in Miami and will set sail for the Bahamas on Saturday. Splenda is in Southern Illinois and Cha Cha and I are empty-nesters for a week. It is really weird.  Not only that but we seldom see each other as it is because we have opposite work schedules and different days off each week. I think I need to win this lottery just so we can see each other. The kids could still do their things but our jet could pretty much take us wherever they are and we would see each other because neither one of us would have to work so to hell with schedules. We have to start thinking about what we want to do when we are no longer MIDDLE farts and become old farts. This house is too big for two of us. I am thinking $600,000,000 would allow us to pretty much pick and choose where we would want to live. We could even narrow it down to the top ten and buy homes in all of those places. Maybe live on a cruise ship and wake-up somewhere different every day or two?

I'd add a monocle!

My mind is turning to mush (yes, even more so) so I think I am going to wrap this up. I hope you have a great day. I have to kick the rest of the trash to the curb and I have some shopping to get done before i try to get some rest. I am also behind on my Words With Friends! John Borowski has confirmed his appearance on the Dirty Laundry Podcast so I have to do some prep work on that as well. Have a great day and make sure to buy your lottery tickets. I hope you win and if you do I ask one favor....please be a guest on the podcast (the guest fee will soon be $1,000,000 but that will be chicken feed for you). Have a great day and a great weekend and thank you, as always, for being here today. TTTM?...MITM (out to buy the golden ticket!)

Someone Saved My Life Tonight!

I am starting to rethink my new tattoo

It's three o'clock in the morning damn-it listen to me type...we've all gone crazy lately...thank God my blog is still alive! For some reason I woke up with that song running through my head so now I am listen to the Elton John station on Pandora; currently I am listening to Rocketman. Last week's podcast we started off with a weird Bennie and the Jets "parody." I wonder what it is with me and having Elton John on the mind?

Today Fabio heads to the Virgin Islands (French and American) and The Bahamas...what great parents he must have. When I was a kid when I was going somewhere it was usually on a smelly bus headed for some godforsaken place in Ohio or Pennsylvania... so I could work my ass off all weekend in 100+ degree weather to perform one or two shows and be told, through judging, what I did wrong. I cannot believe I still love to travel. It did make me a very good traveler (also a light traveler). While I was doing it during my yute I loved it and I have some very good friends still today because of those trips but I seldom have a hankering to ride a bus to Ohio these days - been there done that - A LOT!

Cha Cha and I are going to be empty-nesters until after Easter. It seems to be starting off with me being at the end of a week-long cold with a sinus headache up at 3:00 AM. what else can I complain about? I am thirsty but don't feel like going downstairs to get something to drink and I don't have a cup up here for water.
 Last night The Lost Sock stopped by. I always like visiting with him; it had been quite awhile since I had seen him. He and Cha Cha did most of the talking last night as I had been up since 3:00AM yesterday, the same way that today started out, so I was unusually quiet. I can be a good listener when I want to be. I think today, however, I am going to try to catch a Mattnap at some point.

On this upcoming week's Dirty Laundry Podcast we are supposed to have filmmaker John Borowski on the show. He has said time and again that he is looking forward to it and the last we "spoke" he said that he had a problem with the time we originally had scheduled due to travel constraints and I suggested some other times but have not heard from him yet. I know he will get back with me but I am afraid that it will be news that he has scheduling conflicts and we'll have to reschedule or do it on Skype or something. Everything I know about him says to me that he is a really nice guy and I really look forward to speaking with him in person. I think I had better start thinking of a plan B though. I don't think the Skype interviews are bad - this past week's show was via Skype and I think it went very well.

Weirdness - Someone Saved My Life Tonight just came on Pandora. "One more beer and I don't hear you anymore...we've all gone crazy lately." It's only the second Elton John song on the station this morning and it's the one I woke up hearing in my pea brain. This is a good station - lots of Beatles, Creedence, Bye Bye Ms. American Pie... and Elton John, of course.

Is the television show Punk'd still on or is it just coming back? I read that Ashton Kutcher's new partner for Punk'd is Justin Bieber. I guess Ashton has more time on his hands now that he's not with Demi. Anywho.... I guess Ash, I call him Ash, has been renting a house while he is filming on Two and a Half Men and is considering buying it. He received a text from his assistant that someone is looking to buy the house and it turns out to be Biebs - I call him Biebs. So, in order to keep the house, Ash plunked down $9.5 million to buy the house (too bad I haven't won my $500 million yet - that's Friday). Ash has also accused Biebs of buying the same car that he has - a Fisker Karma - which is supposed to be the most eco-friendly car around  - they're only about $220,000; I may get one of those Friday after I win the lottery too. It seems he has his house prices attached to cars. I am not the sharpest spoon in the utensil drawer but if I were reviving my show called Punk'd and and my new 18-year-old partner on the show kept turning up buying/trying to buy everything that I wanted/liked I would probably start looking for hidden cameras as I am probably a target on my own show. Next Bieber will probably start dating Demi Moore. I think my spoon edges may be slightly sharper than Ash's though (geez I hope so anyway).

Not bad for a plug-in car!

Alright, I have been typing for an hour and my sinus headache hasn't gone away and I am still thirsty so I think I may try to do something about those two things. At least my throat doesn't hurt anymore and I am not stuffed up any longer. Maybe I will go back and lay myself down in sheets of linen for a little while (yes Tiny Dancer is on right now). Thank you for spending some time with me. You know I appreciate you taking the time to see what I have going on in my sinus-filled cavern from time-to-time. Have a great day and I guess it's Thursday for you even though it's my Monday. Hotel California!!!! I love this song and haven't heard it in awhile...I paused it so I can listen to it while I search out something for my sinus headache. So, go ahead and check-out of the blog even though you can NEVER LEAVE!!! TTTT(?)...MITM (out) - TA!

OMG WTF GYPO!!!!

Good morning. I just fell awake and didn't feel like getting up but then decided to anyway. No that I am on the mend, from my cold, I will get back to doing first and second sleep when possible.

I just read that Magic Johnson, a group that includes Magic Johnson actually, have bought the Los Angeles Dodgers for a new record for the purchase of a sports franchise for $2 Billion. The old record was when the Miami Dolphins were purchased for $1.1 Billion in 2009. The list of the finalists for the purchase did not include current NBA champion Dallas Mavericks'  owner Mark Cuban. He has expressed interest in buying the Dodgers when it first became obvious that the Dodgers would be going on the block a couple years ago it seems like now but he was pretty much shot down by the other baseball owners. I have always found that preposterous that the owners of the other Major League Baseball teams could decide who one of the owners could sell their team to. I see the point on one had as they are probably trying to keep drug lords and gangster-types... out of baseball but it seems like anti-American for a group to decide who can own a team and who cannot. I think they were afraid that Mark Cuban would make baseball games too much fun to go to again and that would have put pressure on them to maybe put some of their profits back into their teams instead of their pockets. The New York Yankees, particularly with George Steinbrenner at the helm, is about the only team that has ALWAYS spent the money to put a great team on the field so the fans got their money's worth when they went to the ballpark. Can you even remember one Yankee team that didn't have at least three or four legitimate baseball stars on the team at one time? The number one market, New York, should always have a good team and the number two market, Los Angeles, should too. The number three market, Chicago, occasionally has the White Sox but the Cubs are cursed so that isn't their fault. Cuban would have put money into The Dodgers and made them like The Dodgers of old. I like Magic Johnson and he may do that too but he is with a group of investors and that means they are a business and NEED to make money. Cuban is a business man too but he knows that good business starts with putting a good product out there and he has fun with it. Build it and they will come!!!

All this talk of money reminded me that I may have $360,000,000 on the refrigerator in the form of a winning lottery ticket. I did go over last night and buy some tickets. I haven't checked the numbers yet. I am like Charlie Bucket and want to open the Wonka Bar as slowly as possible to build the excitement. A winner would make the lottery ticket taste not as sweet. Well, I went to the lottery website and see that Friday's jackpot is now $476,000,000 which means that nobody won the jackpot last night. That group of nobodies includes me I suppose. Maybe I won a couple hundred thousand and I could just let it ride. I really wanted that island podcasting studio too....the dream is still alive but now, when I win, the studio may be on a different planet than just on an island. If I got to another planet first I would start the WPW. Instead of www. you would be typing wpw. (World Planetary Web). The World Wide Web would become obsolete and you wouldn't even need a modem - the entire solar system would be free wifi - you're welcome in advance! Maybe the WGW (World Galaxy Web) - I have a few days to work on that. I am going to go down (TWSS) and get my tickets and see if I won anything at all - BRB (be right back). Okay out of 60 numbers ($10 wasted) I got 4 numbers. Supposedly I am helping education or something but we all know that is B.S. too - we just want to be rich - and instead are putting money in a bunch of fat-cats' pockets. Bitter much? If I am helping shcools or something shouldn't I be able to declare the lottery tickets on my taxes? They would take their cut if I won! will take their cut when I win!


Writing that abbreviation (BRB) reminded me of a thing I cut out of the newspaper about a month ago of a list of odd abbreviations. Now that I read them they are all pretty much date related for texting. AOC - available on cell. TMB - text me right back. NT - nice try. WALU - I will always love you (that one is probably new becasue of Whitney Houston's death - too soon?). Here are my favorites because I am a perv.... LH6 (let's have sex), D46 (down for sex?), BTYCL (booty call), 53X (sex), GYPO (get your pants off). There are a lot more but these are some of my favorite things! I need to start some podcasting ones. PUN (podcast up now) or 5YLN (show's up listen now) or DLP4U (dirty laundry podcast for you) WTHRUW4LTTPCA (what the hell are you waiting for listen to the podcast already) or my favorite - DLP (you need to click on that one to find the meaning and discover 'ts hidden magic - not johnson-related). I never realized until right now that Magic Johnson would have been an awesome porno star's name - am I slow (no need to respond here)?

Okay I am heading to a very dark place (TWSS) and need to know when I need to bale before I take it one step too far even though that may have been about three steps ago. Thanks for stopping in - I am always very happy that you do. If I didnd't trick you into clicking into the podcast PUN (Dirty Laundry Podcast is up now). have a great day and as always TTTT...MITM (abbreviatedly out)!

Screw You Karma!

This week's podcast guest Ben Pavalon from Chicago Ghost Hunters Group

So right after I ask if Tiger Woods' golf game over the past couple of years was/is due to karma he goes and wins a tournament; I knew karma had to be poppycock or I'd be much more well-off.

I still feel like crap though I do feel better than I did last week. This cold is hanging-on and maybe that's because I work outside quite a bit and it's been pretty cold here in the MIDDLEwest the last couple of days. I am off now for a few days and I think by the time I go back to work I will be "all-better."

I just got done editing the newest load of Dirty Laundry Podcast. This week we had Ben Pavalon, lead investigator for Chicago Ghost Hunters Group on the show. I think he and this week's show are fascinating. He tells some pretty cool things about things he's seen and heard and even had some audio bits/bytes that we played on the show. It is uploading right now and I think you will enjoy it. Next week we have filmmaker John Borowski on the show. You can check-out a few of his movies on instant-view (or whatever it's called) on Netflix.The ones I know for sure that are on there are Albert Fish and H.H. Holmes: America's First Serial Killer. Check them out in the next couple of days and pass any questions you may have for him to help me sound more intelligent than I try to pretend to be. He has a new film in post-production now that we will talk about also. I have to say I really enjoy podcasting. Next week we will have been doing the show one year! I have met some pretty cool people and gotten close to some old friends again because of the show too; everyone should have a podcast.

I am off work today and I know I need to sleep but it is weird when I have a day off I am not nearly as tired as the days I do have to work. The work mind-set is 50% half mental. If Yogi is gonna stop making these things up I guess someone has to carry the torch.

You're always welcome. The Matt's always out!

There is a Mega Millions drawing tonight worth $365,000,000. I think I may buy a ticket for this one. I haven't won yet so I suppose this is the one I was meant to win. I can promise a pretty good party if I win - probably on my own island and I will fly some of you there in my plane blimp spaceship. I have no idea what I would do with that kind of money so I will probably buy losing tickets instead. I am fairly certain I would buy my own island but after that I don't really know. I would probably get a new pair of shoes and maybe get a shed in the backyard. I may even steal some fizzy lifting drink? 1, 2, 12, 14, 22 & Megaball 5 I think!

Okay the podcast is done uploading so I have to put the finishing touches on it so you can get to it. Thanks for stopping in and maybe I will see you on my private island in the beach-side podcasting studio. Have a great day and try to stay warm on this chilly MIDDLEwestern autumn day. TTT?...MITM (out)

Crying and Religion and Sports and Stuff

I'm a Hep, Hep Matt (maybe)?

It is 4 AM and I decided to frustrate myself and type this on the tiny keys of my cell phone again. What else can I complain about? My throat is scratchy and my nose is running one minute and stuffed-up the next. I did not stay home from work because I like to get everybody else sick too. I believe that I should "play hurt" because if I am not here there is nobody to do my job. I am not sure if that is loyalty or stupidity or inconsiderate but I like to be dependable. I had to have a hepatitis B shot for this new position; do you suppose I have hepatitis now? Until you hear differently I have hepatitis.

Do you suppose Tiger Woods' not playing like Tiger Woods us karma? I know at his worst he is better than I will ever be at my best but he certainly isn't at his best.

I listened to the newest Dirty Laundry Podcast yesterday. I always like to listen to the show to make sure it us at least not terrible. I think it is not terrible this week. This coming week we will the Chicago Ghost Hunters Group and the week after that we will have filmmaker John Borowski on the show. I think they will both be great shows and I am looking forward to both. John Borowski even has Dirty Laundry Podcast linked off of his site - that makes us one degree from Netflix and The Biography Channel and WYCC television in Chicago!


Atlanta Braves' Chipper Jones retired yesterday after 23 years playing for one team. While announcing his retirement he cried. It seems that most professional athletes cry when they retire. I know I would cry if it were me; they are walking away from millions of dollars and only having to work half-a-year playing a game they love. We always tell boys it is okay to cry but then other kids make fun of these guys when they do. Sometimes I cry because I didn't become a professional baseball player. My favorite one of all time was Mike Schmidt's farewell speech. If you watch that clip notice that there are no photographers taking photos until Schmidt starts balling (not the baseball kind). Sometimes Cha Cha says to me when I get all bent outta shape about something, "you are so sensitive!" Mind you that I don't cry but I wear my emotions on my sleeves sometimes, I admit. I do get teary-eyed at movies quite often. Also...the reason she fell in love with me in the first place, besides my rugged good looks, boyish charm and wonderment, was my sensitivity! I think that's why most people like me - because of my empathy and kind heart....I better stop before I am balling like Schmidt.

New teammates - watch Tebow try to slay Sanchez!

Wow, I sure hope you like sports because I am in a sports mood today (sort of). Remember yesterday I talked about Peyton manning going to The Denver Broncos (if not just scroll down and read yesterday's blog and then scroll back to here when you're through)? Evangelist Pat Robertson, who just last week said he thought marijuana should be legalized, weighed in on the Manning signing and Tim Tebow getting traded to The New York Jets. Robertson said that Tebow was treated "shabbily" and an injury to Manning "would serve them right" (speaking of The Broncos). What's up with this dude? Marijuana I could go either way on and it certainly isn't a religious faux pas and who knows... Jesus and The Buddha and Mohammad and Jehovah and all of the rest of them may have lit up a plant or two in their day before tobacco was the plant of choice but to wish physical harm on another person? Especially over sports?  He wasn't hung on a cross - he was traded to New York (okay maybe that is cruel and inhumane after I see it typed). When Saturday Night Live did a Tim Tebow skit in December Robertson attacked SNL too. Did someone go to Vegas a little too soon and put a lot of the collection plate money on Tebow? It couldn't have been on The Broncos because Manning makes the LOTS better. I suppose it's because Tebow prays on the field which is fine and good but why wish someone an injury? How does he know Peyton manning doesn't pray too but doesn't make a public display of it...How many of you, even you very religious people, go to a knee while at work in the middle of your job and pray? You may pray quietly but...come-on Pat!

I am going to try to get some sleep. I may get caught-up on my Words With Friends first. Have a great Friday and enjoy the weather your MIDDLERS. Hopefully you are having nice weather today wherever you are. Thank you for stopping in and spending a few moments with me; I appreciate it mucho. I suppose you liked some of this and some of it may have angered you. Sorry for the stuff that you liked. TTT?...MITM (out like a kraut with gout - or hepatitis but that doesn't rhyme). 

Every Day I'm Snifflein' Snifflein'

It's Thirsty. I feel a little better this morning after getting a good night's sleep thank you to one of my favorite over-the-counter cold and flu remedies. I realize it's not the medicine that makes me feel better it's the sleep but if the medicine helps me sleep I guess the medicine is part of that process.

Fabio and I drove all the way to The Chicago Premium Outlet Mall last night because he is outgrowing all of his shirts. He has been a medium for quite a while but now they don't work so well. Even though he weighs less than 130 pounds he is out-growing them up-and-down not out. In plain English he isn't getting fat he is getting too tall. So, we went there and went to outlet stores for Adidas and Nike and Puma and Under Armor and several others that I cannot remember and he got one shirt. We then stopped at Dick's Sporting Goods on the way home and he got nothing there either. Is is possible to go the Dick's Sporting Goods and not make at least one joke? For me ....NO! It probably cost us about $20 in fuel with the price at $4.09/gallon (which is good compared to what I saw over in The Fox Valley) to get one shirt. I must admit it's a pretty cool shirt - it's a Derek Rose All-Star shirt and it was marked way down which is a bonus but also shows me how much they mark them up originally so we feel better later when they are only making 100% when they mark them down. I can really tell he is maturing because it wasn't that long ago that he would have gotten about 20 shirts. There were a lot of cool shirts but he is very particular now.even though I felt like garbage from this cold it was a great time out with just he and I - male bonding. He even said he may want to finally go golfing with me this year....as long as he gets to drive the cart. DONE!

Did you hear the honesty and moronitude (probably a made-up word) that Mitt Romney's advisory Eric Fehrnstrom said yesterday? When CNN asked him if Romney take a more political center stance in November if/when he has to battle President Obama for the top political job in America he said, "I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes. It's like an Etch A Sketch. You can shake it up and we start all over again." This has always been every politician's stance as far as I am concerned (say whatever best suits them at that particular time) but nobody has ever been so stupid as to say it right out like that. This may actually cause Romney the Republican nomination. The next few days we will hear more lies to cover-up "what we really meant" or "it was taken out of context" or whatever spin they will put on it. Will this dude lose his job? If so, what message does that send? If not, what message does that send. All of the lies politicians tell remind me of working at my last job where I worked for nearly 20 years. I am so happy to be away from that type of environment. This is also why I have never gotten into politics. I save my lying for the poker table where it is called bluffing. I also never liked fishing for the same reason - though I do lie occasionally, just like everyone does, I never feel comfortable doing it. That may all be a lie but at least I only have to deal with the blog medium.

My Etch-A-Sketch/Ouija Combo

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. I just threw that in there like a commercial break (the podcast is rubbing-off on the blog TWSS). I am happy that I am back blogging again; I really would have missed it. I cannot say I will blog every day but I will let you know in the usual ways when there is a new blog up. My weird work schedule makes it hard for me to blog like a real boy.

So now Peyton Manning is now a Bronco and Tim Tebow is now a Jet. I was close with saying Manning would be in Arizona (at least geographically). I think he will continue to do great as a quarterback as his career goes on and he will wear a Bronco's jersey when he goes to the Hall of Fame. Even though the number 18 was a retired number in Denver the player that wore it, Frank Tripucka, gave his consent for Manning to wear the number. I would have thought new team, new number but athlete's are very superstitious and I am just a little stitious (yes, I stole that from Michael Scott). I guess The Colts retired Manning's number too. So, you cut the guy and then retire his number? That makes no sense at all. He was great enough to have his number retired but you send him packing? Professional sports are so confusing - money changes everything, everywhere, every day! On this week's podcast, before Tebow went to the Jets, we did a stupid "skit" at the beginning of the show about Bennie and The Jets but now I wish we had waited a couple more days so we could have done Tebow and the Jets. Even the podcast is sort of a Ouija! (sort of AN Oujia doesn't sound right)

I think I am going to lie down a little longer because I am starting to get stuffed-up again. I appreciate those of you who convinced me to continue blogging and those of you who read this who make we want to keep blogging - I will sign your community service voucher any time you want me to. Have a great Thursday (which is my new Monday) - your weekend is right around the corner. TTTT?...MITM (out with a Spring in his step even though every day he's snifflein' snifflein')

Back By (just back)

It's been over a week since I blogged. I think I may have mentioned that I didn't know whether or not I was going to continue with the blog but I do enjoy doing it so I guess I will keep doing it. I have a terrible sore throat today and a pounding, what I believe to be a sinus-related, headache. Luckily today is one of my days off from work so as soon as I get done with the blog and the podcast is finished uploading I think I am going to try to go back to bed for a little while.

If you don't normally listen to the Dirty Laundry Podcast today would be a good day to head over there. Not so much for the podcast but maybe just to see the caricature that one of our most faithful listeners, as well as one of our producers, The Lost Sock drew for us. The face of the podcast will never be the same. Thank you Lost Sock!!!!! I could put a copy of it here but then why would you go over and listen to the podcast? It is also available at The Dirty Laundry Facebook page if you'd rather head over there - go ahead and "like" us while you're there just for snicks!

I don't have much to talk about. I had been keeping notes like I always do but when we recorded the podcast last night I used most of the things I had intended to blog about to podcast about. It's like having two kids (podcast and blog) and trying to spread all of the resources to both without showing favoritism one way or another but also giving each one their own "attention." I guess it wouldn't be bad to repeat the topics but I feel that would be cheating one or the other.

Man, my head is pounding!!!!! I wish that upload would hurry the helser up!

I am going to have to cut this short because I am in literal agony (what is LITERAL agony?) That makes me think... sometimes you hear that people are brutally murdered. What kind of murder isn't brutal? I suppose euthanasia maybe? Murder is brutal just by nature don't you think?

I have to go downstairs real quick and get some Tums. Now along with everything else I have acid reflux. Maybe I am being slowly brutally murdered and they will catch the killer(s) because of this blog. I will be right back (allegedly).

The podcast has another three minutes before I can put the finishing upload touches on it so there's nothing I'd rather do than talk to you even with the my head and throat hurting. I like my new job better than the old one. I work for the same "company" but in a different "department." I liked the old job but the time went by very slowly. This new job allows for time to fly by because I am always busy...I like that.

Thanks for being patient with me and the mid-blog crisis I must be going through. I appreciate you read the blog and listening to the podcast and I hope it brings you a little joy and distraction from every day life...a little song, a little dance a little seltzer down you pants. TTTT (again)...MITM (out before his head splits). TA!

Today's Blog May Just Save Your Life!

A billboard currently on the tollway in Chicagoland area

Hi there! I am not in a blogging mood but it may just be becasue I am tired this morning. I had been feeling that maybe the blog has run it's course, whatever that means since there never really was a course for it to run, and I may stop writing the blog soon. I am not sure and I will probably change my mind about that and continue writing - time will tell.

Last night I finished watching season one of The Walking Dead. It's a pretty good show just as my great friend Greg said that it is. Now I have to get to watching season two and I will be completely caught up.

Last night Cha Cha, Splenda and I went out for sushi. I love sushi and I think a great part of that is that I love wasabi. I like ginger too but wasabi is the bomb. It was funny because I didn't realize that the color of wasabi is the color of our Fiat. While eating the sushi last night I thought to myself that I think I am going to give up meat again and go back to seafood and veggies. I think I felt better when I didn't eat meat and I know I have gained weight since adding meat back to my diet. I think that may be a coincidence but I think when I gave up being meatless I gave up the discipline in my eating habits at the same time. I believe the not eating meat was forcing me to think about what I was eating more and made me more accountable and thinner. 

An other meat coincidence is that I heard about a new report that says eating beef increases your chances of death by 20%. That is kind of a moronic statement because we are all 100% going to die so now, if I eat meat, I have a 120% chance of dying? I guess they mean you may die sooner because they say beef can cause cancer, diabetes and/or heart disease. Another report said that drinking soda or pop or soft drinks or whatever you may call them where you are increases your chances of heart attack by 20%. This is only for regular soda and does not include diet sodas which, if I remember, at one time were supposed to cause cancer because of the artificial sweeteners. So, if I go out and have a huge steak or some meatloaf and wash it down with a giant tasty cola beverage and die can my life insurance company deny my family my death benefit money because I killed myself? If I want to speed up the process I could have a hot dog appetizer because supposedly they now cause butt cancer. I am pretty sure I am giving up meat again and I already do not drink regular pop so bully for me.

They even have airboat buses it looks like!

I guess there is a lot of flooding in Louisiana. I feel bad for them but if anybody is going to get floods Louisiana is one of the places that I think can handle it. Firstly, they are on the ocean/Gulf of Mexico so they are already used to water and probably are always ready for such of a problem ever since Hurricane Katrina (at least you'd hope they are) but secondly, as I saw on the news, they have airboats. We have a boat which would come in handy but these people have airboats probably in their garages. I would have to be smart enough to know that the rain/flooding wasn't going to stop, get the boat out of storage, de-winterize it... All they have to do is go into the garage and get on their airboat and hit the streets. Maybe kick an alligator or two off of it first but that's easy compared to getting it ready after the winter.

How come when you're a kid (not the goat kind because I think this definitely would not apply to them) you don't even know you have nose hairs and ear hairs but when you get to be a MIDDLEager you are almost always aware that you have these tiny little nuisances? My facial hair grows faster and now I have these hairs growing from every hole in my bowling ball noggin'. I am thinking about squirting Nair into all of my holes to slow this down. Would nose hair or ear hair ponytails look stupid? I may have to start this to see if I can get a new fashion thing going. I would say I smell a money maker with different nose hair and ear hair accessories but I cannot smell that through my nose dreadlocks! Do the hairs stay the same length and our heads just shrink like those little Aborigine heads in The Field Museum? Now, since I wrote this, everybody is going to be checking out my ears and my nose every time they see me so I have to check all the time now. I pretty much have always created my own trouble.

It's funny because I washed the Fiat last night and remember that I told you about the mustache on the car? Maybe that was on last week's Dirty laundry Podcast I talked about that but, anyway, we have a magnetic mustache on front of the car and while I was washing the car at the car wash last night while I was spraying on the wax I started laughing out load when I realized I was waxing my car's mustache. Now I want to get it a handlebar mustache. By the way, I uploaded the new podcast yesterday so it is there and at iTunes if you need more of a Matt In The Middle/The Agitator fix.

Okay, that's enough. For a guy who is thinking about not blogging anymore I sure did ramble-on again. I just want to leave you with one question to ponder that was raised to me by Fabio as I was watching the DVR'd The Celebrity Apprentice last night - "why is it always raining when they get kicked off the show and they are driving out of town?" I believe it's because Trump probably controls the weather in New York too but....maybe I am wrong.

Thank you for being here and have a great day. I am going back to bed because I am tired and I can! TTTT...MITM (off to the land of nod)

Today's Poop!

The television equivalent of the rorschach test

Happy Monday. I fell asleep last night at about 10:30PM - I was exhausted - and I woke up at 2:30AM for no apparent reason. Exactly four hours. I turned on the television just to see if there was anything interesting on and saw that White Noise was on. Cha Cha and I had seem it in the theater and I had liked it okay; it gave me something to think about. when I turned it on Michael Keaton's character was listening to the sound of static on the radio in hopes of hearing his dead wife trying to contact him from beyond. The time in the movie was 2:30AM (weird). I decided to get up and come into Kajunkles Studio and blog since I wanted to take a break before second sleep. When I got in here my autographed photo of Isiah Thomas, which had been hanging on the wall was lying on the desk with the glass smashed. I am fairly certain that it must have falling off the wall last night and someone in the house put it on the desk but who knows?  Even if so did it fall of itself. If something happens to Isiah I am going to be creeped-out and I will probably take all of the photos in the studio down because I am not prepared to know what is going to happen before it happens. Of course, outside about creepy stuff.  it is windy and raining just like it should be in a good scary studio scene of some dude in his robe typing all alone in the MIDDLE of the night. The other ironic thing is that yesterday after Fabio's basketball banquet we stopped at The Dollar Store to get more frames for the photos of the recent guests we have had on Dirty Laundry Podcast. That's where I got the first ones and I figured I'd like to keep them the same and they are only a dollar each so I would get 15 or so ad put them on the shelf for future shows/guests. They only had three so I got those three and will get more when they restock - they always say that things come in threes; I am not sure what kind of things but THINGS come in threes.

Today Splenda and I are going to head over to "The Hill" and take my mom out for lunch for her birthday. I am not sure where we will go but I told my mom to pick a place. She will not have picked a place and then I will suggest, "how about Olive Garden." and she's say, "that's fine" and she'll say. "that sounds good I haven't been there in a long time," and we'll go to Olive Garden. There are many other places I would suggest but they would probably be shot down, Maybe as a field study I will suggest Chili's to see what will happen. I just want a salad so I can pretty much go anywhere.

One of Don Kirshner's brain-childs (brain-children)

I am tempted to creep through the house and make sure everybody is present and accounted for. I woke up to an empty king size bed (this song immediately came into my head when I wrote that - here is a video of the song from Don Kirshner's Rock Concert if you're curious) so I am guessing Cha Cha fell asleep downstairs while doing some work; she's ALWAYS working. If I don't come back you'll know something is wrong. Actually, if I don't come back this will never be published so if you are reading this I came back and everything is okay....wish me luck in the past tense - whatever that consists of. My offspring both in their beds and stirred slightly when I opened their doors and Cha Cha's on the couch fast asleep with her abdomen going u and down as she breaths. I did not see the dog but she is either under somebody's bed or under the covers on somebody's bed or dead. She's old and that will probably happen soon but I am not prepared to find her now with White Noise playing in the other room and a smashed Isiah Thomas on my desk (that would sound pretty funny out of context).

We recorded the new podcast last night. We have 50 new sponsors. The show must really be taking off for that kind of growth pretty much over night. It was difficult getting all of them mentioned in one show but we managed to do it pretty simply without taking away from the show actually. I hope to have it edited and uploaded by tonight but with going to my mom's for birthday lunch we'll see. I don't work today so it may just have to be later today. Possibly I will begin right after I am done here; I will let you know when it's up on iTunes via Facebook and via a message if you subscribe to the show on Podomatic.

I have become distracted in my own thoughts now which I suppose isn't that uncommon in the MIDDLE of the night but it usually kills blog momentum. I am embarrassed to say what has distracted me but I will show you the video - CLICK THIS if you are interested but don't watch it while you're eating breakfast. It is a MUST SEE for dog lovers everywhere. This video will go viral - guaranteed  - and you can be one of the first or one of the pushers for the virus/viral/virality...whatever.

Okay, I think I am going to either start editing or get into sleep round two but if I do the latter I will only get 2 hours in round two so it looks like editing. Have a great day and thank you for being here this morning - I so much more like blogging in the morning but my schedule doesn't always allow for that to happen these days; I am definitely a morning blogger. If you didn't catch the weekend blog, since I was on the road Friday, scroll down if you need more MITM (who wouldn't?). TTTT...MITM (out)

Read If You DARE!!!!

We can rebuild him...better, stronger, faster....

I began writing this to post yesterday, Friday, but with it being Leap Year and all one thing led to another and I didn't get it posted. Mainly because I got off work at 6:00AM drove 3 1/2 hours South (TWSS)  to pick up Splenda for Spring Break and then drove 3 1/2 hours back North (TWSS) and then slept and went to work last night so now you get a special weekend edition of MITM.

I am going to try to blog from my phone again today. As we have gotten to know each other a little better we are starting to get along better. I guess I will give her a little more time. I am going to try not to play any music on her because the last thing I want to do is make Roz jealous. We gave been together for quite awhile (between Roz and Roz II) and it's almost like we are one person now. I am the first $6,000,000 iPodic Man (part man, part pod, all sexy).

How come if you cannot hear you are deaf and if you cannot see you are blind but if you cannot taste or smell there is no name for that? I did not mention touch because that is called dead I think or just heartless if you are discussing the metaphorical "touch."

I just got done with a Words For Friends game with my buddy and Dirty Laundry Podcast Media Critic Greg Weindorf and it it was my first "sister kisser." You know the old saying when you tie, "it's like kissing your sister?" I never had a sister so I am not sure if the whole, "it feels good but what's the point deal" is relevant but I always thought that saying was amusing. For some reason nobody says "it's like kissing your brother" because I think that may have taken-on some more twists. When I think about "kissing your brother" I think about Michael Corleone kissing Fredo and I don't think kissing his brother ended very well for Fredo. If your bother ever kisses you you had better go into deep cover....Fredo wasn't right in the head but we can learn from him. Anyway Greg and I tied and that is pretty rare I imagine just like kissing your brother.

I just now read a story that Peyton Manning is meeting with the Arizona Cardinals. If you will remember about a week or two back, before Peyton ever even left the Colts, I predicted he would be a Cardinal this next season. My prediction may still come true and then people will come to me for massive predictions and I will never be right again because I was right once a long time ago and they will call me Matty The Greek even though I am not Greek but I know all of the Greek swear words because that's what I do. I think I want to be called Matty The Kraut or Matt The Mick. Manning throwing to Larry Fitzgerald is gonna be pretty cool.

Sorry, I took a moment to pay the mortgage and the electric bill. Now I will not be homeless and/or in the dark for at least one more month. Okay, I am pretty much always in the dark but that is mainly by choice. with no knowledge comes no responsibility.

I started to watching The Walking Dead (season 1) last night. I realize I am way behind but slow and steady wins the race. We also thought about going to see a movie tonight so we'd have something extra to talk about on the podcast but there's nothing good around here. I may have to travel to St. Charles to see The Artist.

I am having a hard time focusing. I think I am still very tired or I may be coming down with something. My partner at work was gone for a couple of days because he was pretty sick and although he tried to stay clear of me the night he started to getting ill I am afraid I may soon become The Walking Dead. I start my new job Friday so I cannot afford to be sick this week. I do have today, tomorrow and Monday off so if I am going to get dead I hope to do it soon so I can be reborn by Tuesday night. I am excited about starting my new job but still a little nervous. It's working for the same department at the same place but just a different "division" I guess you'd call it. One of the drawbacks is that I will no longer get a three-day weekend every other weekend and also that it looks like "my weekend" may be Tuesday and Wednesday. I hope it's worth the extra pay and the extra months of work.

Even the word banquet is stupid!

I am going to sign-off now because we have to do something about dinner. I think we are probably going to go out because it's already 7:30 and we haven't planned anything. Tomorrow is Fabio's basketball banquet. I think it's all of the basketball teams (Varsity, sophomore and freshman) so it may either be long or we will all eat together and break up for the different teams presentations. I have to figure out a desert for 24 people.

Have a nice night and thanks for taking the time to read this. if you have any ideas of things you'd like us to discuss on the podcast they we will be recording tomorrow please let me know tonight or tomorrow morning....we will talk about anything. TTTM (or tomorrow on the podcast)...MITM (ewt)

Bigfeet and Appleseeds and God Particles, Oh My!

What day is it? Thursday right? I am so tired of not knowing what day it is but it won't change for probably ever!

Because of my friend Brian I have been thinking about Bigfoot a lot lately. Thanks a lot Cha Cha For A Day! While I was getting ready for work yesterday I saw that the show Searching For Bigfoot was on so I put it on while I put on my socks - just a coincidental Bigfoot thing. Anyway, they were looking for Bigfoot which makes sense and I probably should have figured that's what they were gonna do on a show called Searching For Bigfoot. But I started to think as I do every other Wednesday and I wondered to myself, "self, what is the plural of Bigfoot?" I guessed that it should logically be Bigfeet. Then, as I was starting to put my shoes on (again a coincidence) one of the dudes on the show said they were looking for Bigfoots. For some reason that made sense too. I guess I will have to defer to the nerdy experts.

Speaking of scientists that are trying to make a difference I heard that right here in good old Illinois the people at Fermilab may have found the Higgs boson. I know, isn't that extremely exciting? The Higgs boson is sometimes called the God Particle. The Higgs boson will totally rock the entire religious world becasue it will show, if my pea-brain non physicist brain can come close to comprehend this because it will show how MATTer (mass) can be produced... better yet, if you're more intelligent than I, and my money is on you, read this and maybe you will know better if you are interested. I just think it's cool that it may have been discovered A) because they have had to slow down the use of the super-collider because of budget/funding cuts so they have had time to evaluate the data that they have collected for years and B) that they discovered it in the very same place that I first saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It still blows my mind that I saw that movie at one of the most prestigious scientific facilities in all of the world.

Sunday is Johnny Appleseed Day. I always liked Johnny Appleseed.

As predicted here a week or two ago Peyton Manning is no longer an Indianapolis Colt. Rod Lowe still has a chance to be right if Peyton decides not to play this season (Rob Lowe said, about a month ago, that Peyton Manning was going to retire) but Peyton will play. I still think he will be The Arizona Cardinals' QB this coming season but the smart money is probably on The Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins have been my favorite football team since 1971 so I guess that would be fine with me too. One of my fondest memories of my grandfather has to do with The Dolphins. I still have The Dolphins helmet he bought be back in 1971-1972 though it probably is a little tight now.

I am beginning to babble in my mind which is worse than in a brook so I had better get to sleep. Thanks for stopping in and I hope you have a great day. I get to pick up Splenda in Champaign tomorrow morning - I am always excited to see her and have her home again. TTTT...MITM (out)

If Your Last Name is Washington Don't Read This!

Ever since yesterday when I ATTEMPTED to write the blog from my new crappy cell phone the software for writing the blog has changed and I am sure it's because of the phone. I am taking the phone back early next week when Splenda gets home for Spring Break - hers is having problems too and we may as well take hers in to get fixed and mine to get incinerated at the same time I think.

I saw Bill Cosby on Jimmy Fallon last night and he was talking about something that I have never really noticed. There are no white people with the last name of Washington. Do you know a white person named Washington? The father of our country was named Washington and our Nation's capital is named after him and there is no white Washington's? I am starting to think about our founding fathers while typing this and did none of them have descendants? I cannot think of anybody named Madison, Monroe, Buchanan, Franklin, Jefferson... and when I think further I don't know of anyone named Polk or Fillmore or Roosevelt or McKinley or Monroe... What is going on? I know there is a conspiracy here because I think everything is a conspiracy; I do that mainly to entertain myself as I walk gleefully through the nights.

While I am on politician talk (sort of) did you hear that prisoner #40892-424 is finally in prison? That's right, Illinois' esteemed Governor Rod Blagojevich (Blogo) was finally sent to his Club Fed in Colorado. Luckily he only has daughters so people in future generations may not have to remember the name Blagojevich. Hey, Barack Obama only has daughters too. Clinton too...Carter hey I figured it out - Maybe politicians only have daughters? Unfortunately for us George H.W. Bush broke the politician gender code and now we have been paying for that broken condom for about twelve years now. Curiouser and curiouser.

I think with all of the bad karma with the whole Blogo thing the Dirty laundry Podcast will leave Illinois for New York. We have decided that we will be able to get bigger guests if we set up shop outside of Jay Leno's or David Letterman's studios or near The Today Show or something. Oh wait, I am confusing my notes with Rosie O'Donnell's notes. Nevermind, we are staying here in the MIDDLEwest because Matt In The Right Side doesn't sound as good. Is anybody really surprised that Rosie is leaving Chicago. My guess is this was the plan all the time so Rosie could take some attention off of Oprah while she started her OWN network (yes, that is slightly redundant) and now that Oprah is done with her secret hiatus and is ready to rule the world again Rosie can go to New York with he Chicago New York accent. They take us for idiots....we're not idiots - we just don't really care that much.

Since today has kind of been an Illinois bash-fest I should mention something good about Illinois that I discovered. Illinois is the only state in the country that still mandates P.E. (physical education) in schools. I am proud in a way that we are the only state that does still try to help our children live a balanced life with activity but I am also saddened to find out that the other 49 (and probably Puerto Rico too) don't believe that physical activity is important. How are they supposed to do the Presidential Physical Fitness Test or whatever that torturous thing we had to be part of every year? I would think Michelle Obama would be pushing that P.E. be back in all schools (maybe she is). I loved P.E. - without it I never would have been an Olympic archer or a world-class square dancer. I seriously did love gym class.

Have a nice Wednight (hump night - TWSDS). Thank you for stopping by I appreciate you every day. TTTT...MITM (T-minus 2 until Splenda is home for Spring Break :))

Promo-less Blog (first time in MITM history)!

I am blogging from my new phone. So far I really hate this phone. It is some Nokia thing that just wants to be the boss of me and I have enough bosses in life. I am sitting in a dentist office with Fabio so I am happy I at can least have you here with me so I am not bored out of my mind - thanks for coming along.

One thing I know that is gonna be bad is that just like my iPod this has tiny keys and it auto-corrects my words so this may turn out to be Nokia's blog today and maybe not all mine. Another thing is I cannot get Words For Friends on it. How can that possibly be? I believe that is false; but I must defer to my tech support Cha Cha until I discover differently.

After this we have to go to the store to get Fabio some shirts. He is clearly over six feet tall now and he has out-heighted his shirts. He still only weighs about 125.... Oh to be young. I am still shooting for the 6' myself.

It's 67 degrees outside but there is still a little snow on the ground. I bet tomorrow it will reach 75.

What the heck? I just get into the blogging groove and the appointment is over. We waited about 45 seconds in the waiting room and the whole appointment took, literally, 9 minutes. How come when I have nothing to keep me busy it takes hours and when I have something to do it goes so quickly....I will take quickly every time though.

I have to stop because this phone is driving me nuts....I will blog again tomorrow. I don't think I am going to even do the usual blog promoting today because I wanted to blog but I really don't care if nobody reads this one today....frustrated. TTTT...MITM (grrrrrrrr) TA!

If You're Missing a Foot I Know Where You Can Find it!

Hit it Roz
Howdy! Just a couple of days ago it was snowing and haling and raining and thundering and now tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 50's and Wednesday maybe the 60's. It strikes me funny how we never talk about March coming in like a lion or a lamb anymore but I wonder what we would say about this March if we did compare it to animals. I guess a chamelion I suppose since it seems to change every day. Hopefully it goes out like a Hot Pocket!

With the snow that he received Friday I  heard on the radio that out little MIDDLEwestern town had a parking prohibition. I had never heard it phrased quite that way but I suppose if parking was prohibited that would have made it a parking prohibition. Prohibition always makes me think of one thing and that poor word is underutilized because of PROHIBITION, of course. That's a shame since it's a pretty cool word. I think I am going to try to bring prohibition back - the word not the action of outlawing alcohol. I have a prohibition on not using the word prohibition.

I just got through editing the Dirty Laundry Podcast and it should be uploaded pretty soon. Be forewarned I tried to sing again this week. Maybe I should have saved that as a surprise because now you may not listen. Hey, the new podcast is up on iTunes and on Podomatic already. It seems to upload so much more quickly when I am not fighting for wifi time with Call of Duty 1 - 500. There should be a prohibition on video games while I am uploading.

It's less than two weeks until I start my new job. I really like my current job but I also like more money and a full-year job rather than a nine-month contract at a time. I am a little nervous about the new one but I always am when I start something new mainly because I put a lot of pressure on myself to do a great job; nervous works for me. Believe it or not sometimes I am still nervous when we record a podcast and we have been doing that for nearly a year now. I suppose being nervous means I just want to do a good job. I seem to hide it well but I am nervous most of the time - I am a Karma Chameleon I guess.

Motive AND Opportunity!!!!

Do "alternate endings" really help sell DVD's. The movie Tower Heist advertises two alternate endings on the DVD. That mean three endings? Is that really necessary? Why would anyone write a script and thing, "hmmmmm, I am not sure how I want to end this thing so I think I will write a couple of extra endings?" I want to see the one that was decided upon when you put it in the theater and that's it!

Did you hear about all of the human feet washing up on shore in British Columbia? Over the past five years 12 feet in shoes have washed up on shore between Washington state and B.C.. A coroner thinks he has discovered the answer as suicides. I don't buy that. What form of suicide causes feet to leave the body and all wash up on shore in the same spot? I have to do some thinking but once I chopped off my foot I don't think I would move on to killing myself. I wonder if I could find my big toe there? Maybe this where amputated appendages go. They are just coming up with this suicide theory trying to stop a panic of a foot-fetished serial killer or something. They may as well say they are from bungee jumpers getting their feet ripped off by the bungee cords. I think Eddie Murphy has something to do with it (ironic after listening to this week's podcast).

Alright, I have to wrap this up because I have to get some stuff done before I go to work - like sleep. Have a great Monnight. Thanks for stopping in and for listening to the new podcast. TTTT...MITM (off like a show foot on the beach - sorry but not too sorry since I didn't delete it) TA!

Sleeping and Making Bieber's Dreams Come True!

kinda defeats the purpose doesn't she?

Wow, first sell just ended. It seems like the sleep portion of my brain is starting to run the show. My initial feeling was to have first sleep and second sleep to four hours each but yesterday second sleep only lasted two hours and I figured it knows what it's doing so I just went with it. Then first sleep today went six hours which adds two to the original blueprint which makes up for the two shorted by second sleep yesterday, Now when second sleep comes today I wonder if it will go four but it cannot go past 9PM so I will have to set an alarm as a safety. That's my first/second sleep report for today.

I think I found a pretty good way to sleep which I think is really helping the process. One of my main problems with sleep has always been that I still see light through my eyelids and hear every little sound while I sleep which always disturbed me slumber. I have tried face masks and ear plugs and music while I sleep but something always disturbed me. For you that have read the blog for a long time you remember once I was looking into a sensory-deprivation tank. So now, with the first/second sleep study I am conducting I have added the mask back (Slpenda got me one fore Christmas that looks like Napoleon Dynamite's eyes/glasses) and I found a new "station" on Pandora that is really helping. I searched meditation and I settled on "calm meditation radio." It has a lot of flutes and oceans and wind sounds and stuff like that that helps to block out everything for me without providing distracting stimuli. So far, so good. Still though, if you see one of those sensory-deprivation tanks at a garage sale give them a couple bucks for it and I will pay you back.

Yesterday between sleeps while I was cleaning the kitchen I turned on The Brady Bunch on the outside chance they'd be playing the Davy Jones episode. It was not but it was another good one "baby talk baby talk it's a wonder you can walk." They did have a commercial during the show, however, that told me that they are going to do a tribute to Davy Jones today at 4 & 4:30 today on INSP (it's channel 364 here). I think that's Inspiration Television or something.  I guess the real reason I watched the Brady's yesterday was an accident because it was on after Little House on the Prairie and I seem to love that show for some reason. I guess I had better wrap this up soon so you have time to get over there to see it.

I really don't have else to say anyway so now I am just saying it just to be saying it - like that's any different today than any other day huh?

It was raining, then it began hailing and now it is snowing and thundering outside. It sure has been an odd winter here in the MIDDLEwest. I am not complaining because I only had to shovel twice this winter so far but it sure makes one wonder.

I hope all of your dreams come true!

I just read one of the teaser headlines on MSN and it said that "Ellen Gives Justin Bieber a Birthday Surprise." I did not read the story but I have to wonder why would anybody have to give Justin Bieber anything? How about giving starving children a surprise? How about giving people in Harrisburg, Illinois that just got wiped-out by a winter tornado a surprise? Surprise Justin Bieber!- we're tired of you!

Alright, the naughty trouble-making Matt In The Middle is finally awake so I am going to fight him and shut down before he completely turns the blog to the dark side. Have a great Friday night and, holy crap the snowflakes are the sizes of bowling balls. I am going to go over and get a ticket for The Mega game of the lottery - it's worth like $180,000,000. I cannot imagine how mush better the podcast and the blog would be with that kind of backing. TTTT...MITM (out to become a multi-millionaire) TA!

One Blog, Two Blog, Red Blog, Blue Blog

I woke up just now and came here to blog
Slept pretty well though my head's still in fog
I had to get up 'cause I knew it was time
My sheezewags and farzoons still hated the chime
Second sleep works only with half-time break
So out of the bed my fanny did shake
To come here and write not in bed will I stay
I have to blog now - IT'S DR. SEUSS DAY!!!!

I know that is lame but it is, in fact, Dr. Seuss Day so I felt I had to put something together for Theodor Geisel even if just on the fly. I imagine it's just a coincidence that the new Dr. Seuss film The Lorax is out now right? I don't really know that story I but I do like Dr. Seuss. I was always a fan of what Dr. Geisel was doing.

I was saddened to hear that Davy Jones died yesterday; I was a Monkees fan since I can remember. Davy was always my favorite but I have a feeling he was everybody's favorite. I also think everyone's least favorite was Mike Nesmith - White Out snob! I think part of the reason I liked H. R. Huffenstuff so much was even because Jimmy reminded me of Davy Jones. I know you have probably heard that The Monkees once opened-up for Jimi Hendrix. If that is what you heard you hear incorrectly... Jimmy Hendrix once opened-up for The Monkees - that's how big The Monkees were at one time. And, of course, all of us MIDDLErs remember when Davy was on The Brady Bunch.

Angela Jolie'Lin

Last night I had three bananas and a Honey Crisp apple. Man, are those Honey Crisp apples are good. The reason I mention it at all is that I have always taken things like bananas for granted; I don't know why I thought of it last night. Isn't it amazing, if you think about it, that we even get to have bananas? Most of them come to us from half-way around the world. I am going to start appreciating bananas more. I have always been grateful for mangoes and papayas and kiwis and such but I have taken bananas for granted becasue we have had them in plentiful bounty since I first knew who Davy Jones was. I know I take too may things in life for granted and I wish I knew I could stop I I know I cannot and that saddens me some. I even take friends and family for granted and that saddens me even more. We are slaves to our ways of life :(

I did not watch the Academy Awards and except for the winners of the "big awards" I don't really know anything about what happened at the butt-smooch fest. I do know one thing that occurred that is causing a new national sensation. Angelina Jolie stood with her one leg out and she was very skinny. It;s funny how we forgot that she made-out with her brother at an awards ceremony and she used to wear blood around her neck but now she stands with her leg funny and all of that comes back out again. My theory is that she had bad gas that night and she was - you know. I heard that there is a big craze going on called Jolie'ing; it is replacing planking as the new lunatic fringe movement. I would say it's even going to put the Captain Morgan stance out of business. Now you can see why she and Brad Pitt don't do many press things.

Can you believe that Peyton Manning may not be an Indianapolis Colt next season? Rob Lowe said months ago that Manning would retire this season and it looks like he may have been onto something but I predict that Peyton will be back next season in an Arizona Cardinals' uniform because the Colt's "Sucked for Luck."

I have to get some stuff done during this sleep intermission so I had better wrap up so I can get some laundry done and get the trash together and get it out to the curb. Last week, as you might remember, I put it at the end of the driveway and some jerk parked in front of it to clean out neighbor's driveway of snow and blocked our trash so it didn't get picked up. At least it is cold enough that it didn't stink up our garage. This week I am plopping it back out in the street so it doesn't get missed but people are going to drive by and see double trash and think this is the Hefner's winter cottage or something. I also have to get caught up on my words With Friends With Benefits because people are waiting for me and I do not to like to make people wait and then I have to get on with Second Sleep.

Thanks a lot, as always, for kindly stopping in - are you surprised that I didn't even mention the podcast one time in this blog? Have a great Ides or March or whatever March 1st is called. TTTT...MITM (off) TA!