Don't Be Alarmed it's Only Poisonous Gas!

All poisonous gas symptoms but none of my business!

I unjoined or quit or opted-out of our neighborhood Facebook page last night. My job provides LOTS of drama and excitement and I don't need more of it when I don't get paid for it. There has been a lot of idiots on the site over the years spouting-off dumb crap and I am tired of it. The straw that broke my MIDDLE back was, apparently there was a "poisonous gas leak" in a home in our neighborhood (learned about it on the Facebook page - which was a good thing about the site) and when I inquired about what the issue was I was told, basically that it was a "tragedy" and is none of my business and I wouldn't want it discussed on the page if it were my family. Well, since my family and my home reside in this subdivision and it may compromise the safety of my family and my largest monetary investment (our home) I think it may be just a little bit of my business. I will find out what happened at my work (one of the fringe benefits of where I work) but I think maybe everybody in our neighborhood should know about a "poisonous gas leak." Granted, these were the words used on the Facebook post but someone said that their kids were told to leave the neighborhood park when it occurred. A poisonous gas leak that kids aren't even safe outside at the neighborhood park is not my business? I guess I should leave the dog inside JIC (just in case).

I am on day five of my eating healthier again. I still cannot believe I started right before vacation. It really deosn't MATTer because I will not be side-tracked. After only five days I am already into a pair of shorts that had become tight in the waist. Guys always seem to lose weight faster than the gals and I am really sorry about that for you if you are one of the smarter sex. I am happy about it for me and rest of the dumber gender though. I am eating a huge salad right now. Cha Cha is going out tonight so I don't need to wait. She texted me to tell me about two hours ago. Why does the celery always fall to the bottom of the salad? I try to stir it up as I eat it but the celery has it's own agenda. Celery is the a-hole of vegetables.

The star of my new poisonous gas video

Last night I made a new skunk friend; there is a very short video on my Facebook page. I have decided to call him Frank unless I find out he is a she and then, Francis. I wish I had thought a little before I recorded the video because I probably would have turned the radio off or waited and played a song from YouTube or Pandora on my phone like Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell" or The J Geils Band's "Love Stinks" or something. Maybe I am like a father figure to the skunk and this song works great. I am sure I will see my little buddy again and I will be more prepared next time. I saw one of the foxes again last night too. The other night I tried to video one of the foxes and he was too foxy for me. I couldn't get my phone video-ready in time. I should have a few songs lined-up for the fox too. Maybe the theme to Sandford and Son would be funny. Now I wish I hadn't quit the neighborhood Facebook page. I could use the video and photo for a neighborhood poisonous gass PSA (Public Service Announcement).  I wouldn't do something smart-assed like that though would I? My next animal video may be Jeff Helser attackeing water as it sprays ut of the garden hose - it's pretty funny. I may have to get involved in Youtube here soon.

I am tired. I may just go to bed soon since I am not really sure what time Cha Cha is coming home. I don't sleep conventional hours anyway. I actually have to eat more though. I am using the Weight Watchers point system again; that's the way I lost the 84 pounds about four or five years ago and I know it works for me. I wish I would have just stuck to it all this time but I didn't. If if's and buts were candies and nuts we'd all need to lose weight all the time or something like that.

I am going to wrap-up for today. If you haven't listened yet make sure to catch the new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast. I am not sure if we are going to record Load #160 tomorrow because we may go to North Aurora Days. Don't be jealous. Sugar Grove Corn Boil one weekend and then North Aurora Days the next? Do we know how to party or what? It won't be very long before it's CornFest time in my town (yes, it is MY town). I just went to the Cornfest wedsite and see that American English and The Chicago Six will be there this year. The Chicago Six is a bunch of former Chicago Bears: Dan Hampton, Steve McMichael, Otis Wilson... and American English is a Beatles tribute band. They have some big acts out here over the years for Cornfest: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Travis Tritt, Greg Kihn, Blue Oyster Cult, Junior Wells, .38 Special, The Grass Roots, Leon Russell, Koko Taylor, Marshall Tucker Band, Night Ranger, Survivor, Eddie Money, The Smithereens, Lady Antebellum... Everybody loves corn! Maybe I will try to get some Bears or Beatles on the podcast?

Have a great night. Thanks a lot for stopping out. I will probably blog again tomorrow as long as something comes to my mind. TTTT...MITH (out).

Deservedly Cursed!

Deservedly cursed!

It's only 06:36 and I am blogging already. I should be trying to sleep. I just got home from work and I am in a angry or sad or sangry or something. Several things added up to make this sangry feeling; some I am at liberty to discuss and some I am not at liberty to discuss so I may be wasting my time trying to blog about it. You know how I talk about seeing all of the animals all night long (squirrels, skunks, deer, foxes, geese, pumas, ducks, coyotes...) and how I really enjoy the wildlife. I have always been an animal lover. For crying out loud we named our son Noah. I never really thought about it but maybe that's why we decided on Noah for Fabio's name. Anyway, I was driving last night and an small animal ran across the road as I approached. It was going from east to west so I swerved to the east to give the animal more room to make it across. The animal, which was almost all the way across the road into the brush, decided to turn back and ran right under my tire. I am not really sure what kind of animal it was. It was black and looked like a mongoose or something. Yes, I am aware that there is very little chance that it was a black mongoose. Probably a black cat - that would make sense. I was immediately sad. On the way home from work this morning I passed the spot and it was definitely dead. By the looks of the animal I can tell that it died immediately. I suppose there is some peace in that but then I think that it had babies at home and was out gathering food to bring back. I always torture myself like this. I guess I am just a MATTsochist.

I am on day four of eating well. Last night for dinner I had a salad. For the rest of the household I made fish, Crispy Crowns, and Red Lobster biscuits.  am told the biscuits tasted just like the Red Lobster ones. There was also some leftover macaroni and cheese and corn on the cob. I would have had the corn on the cob but, when Cha Cha made it, she smothered all of the cobs in butter. I eat corn without butter - especially when I am on a health kick. So, when I made the salad I made a whole bunch extra and put it in a plastic container in the fridge. All night long, except for when I destroyed the black beaver or whatever kind of animal's family, I was excited at the thought of getting off work this morning and having that salad. As I got home I went outside and threw the Frisbee and ball for Jeff for awhile and kept thinking about that salad. When he decided to go to the back of the yard for some private time I came back int he house for that salad. As I approached the refrigerator I noticed a large plastic container in the sink. An EMPTY container. Somebody had eaten my salad. Everybody is still asleep now so I am not sure whodunnit. I have my suspicions. So, I had five baby carrots and three Weight Watchers one point Mozzarella cheese sticks.

I trust my day will get better. Speaking of days getting better - make sure you listen to this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast.

I am going to take a break right now, not to eat salad rather to sleep. Maybe I will feel better when I awake and the next phase of the blog will be more uplifting. I am really tired. Who the hell starts eating better the week before he heads to an all-inclusive resort? A moron in the MIDDLE it seems. TTTT (while I sleep) and it will see like I was just gone for seconds (not seconds of salad though). I cannot keep my eyes open...

It is now 11:16 and I am awake again.

I have to get some things done. At least this is my Friday. I think I am going to head over to Subway to get a turkey breast sandwich since Fabio ate my salad. At least he's eating healthy sometimes. I have to do stuff or I wouldn't have anything to blog and podcast about. Have a great Friday Hump Day. I guess I could just have finished the blog before I slept huh? Thanks a lot for continuing to give me reason to write this and record that. I will blog tomorrow. I cannot even believe vacation is next week - everybody's workin' for the weekend. TTTT...MITM (out)

Disco Is Not Dead

I said 99% I would blog today and the odds have just changed - the odds are now 100%.

In about six hours we have a guest coming over to Dirty Laundry Studios (aka - Kajunkles Studio) to be on load # 159 of Dirty Laundry Podcast. He is a music guest. We have had great success with the music shows. They are a lot of fun and usually require very little editing on my part. This is someone Cha Cha actually went and saw with the expressed reason to scout him for the show. Check Cha Cha out booking guests.

After the show we are headed to the Sugar Grove Corn Boil. Kinda odd that we would leave the corn capital of the world (Dekalb) to go to a corn boil somewhere else. They have a corn boil we have CORNFEST! We are going to see Libido Funk Circus. I became aware of them when I was doing my weekly radio show, The Mattgarita Happy Hour, on Jimmy Buffet's Radio Margaritaville.  I loved doing that show but it came to an end when Radio Margaritaville moved to SiriusXM Satellite Radio. They changed their format slightly so my show was axed because the format was no longer FOR MATT. Anyway, I started playing LBF's music then and we have played a few of their songs on the podcast over the years. I have never seen them live. They play 80's music and lean a great deal toward disco. Steve Dahl made us hate disco but now, years later, I have found that I think I have been a closet disco-lover. In high school my friend Scott Simpson would always call me Disco or Matty Disco. I was never really sure why he called me that. Maybe he saw something in me that I didn't know. In high school I listened to The Cars, Cheap Trick, AC/DC, The Scorpions, The Police, The Clash, Psychedelic Furs, INXS, Queen, Kansas, Rush, Pink Floyd, ABC, U2... I don't consider any of them disco. Disco was huge and then Chicago disc jockey / radio celebrity Steve Dahl held Disco Demolition at a White Sox game / Comiskey Park and then everybody hated disco. The hatred of disco was kind of the genocide or prejudice in the music industry. Even the college town in Gotham City was Disco Tech and that was in the 1960's; I imagine they closed in 1979 after Disco Demolition. The show starts at 21:30; I hope it doesn't rain. We are supposed to wear blue - they usually dress in a particular color and ask the dress in that color if they are so inclined. I will probably try.

Disco Stu says, "See you at Corn Fest!"

I should end now because I have picked up a computer virus and I am unsure if I will be able to finish this on this computer if I keep going. This is not the computer I use for recording the show. That one I pretty much exclusively use for the show. I don't go on the interweb on that one too often and will not at all now. I need to get the studio musician friendly. I wonder if I will accompany him with my mini desktop drums? If you are in Sugar Grove tonight maybe I will see you there; I will be the guy in blue. Have a great night. Thank you for stopping-in. I may blog tomorrow but, I will probably be sleepy after staying out late tonight and I do have to work tomorrow night so, I will place the likelihood at 58%. TTTT (58%)...MITM (boogieing out) TA!

Damon, Roehlk, Weindorf and My Investigation

I guess I wasn't the first to think this

So another plane is missing? This time an Air Algerie plane. This is how The Bermuda Triangle myth started - disappearing planes and boats. The Bermuda Triangle must have sealed itself up because we haven't heard about anything missing from there in many years. You would think that, with our current technology, things couldn't just disappear. We could see a missile shoot down a plane just a week ago or so but then another plane disappears from the face of the Earth. I guess when it is war-related we are more motivated to find out what happened. I am happy that we are past The Bermuda Triangle and blaming extraterrestrials.

I think Matt Damon and John Cena should do a film where they play brothers.

While I was sleeping after my Friday shift was over (Wednesday night) I received a text from my childhood friend John (have known him since I was in fifth grade right before electricity was invented) asking if I want to go to the Cubs - Cardinals game on Saturday at 15:00. He has season tickets and is a Cubs' fan - I would LOVE to go but, Saturday night is my my Monday. I love the Cardinals, I love Wrigley Field, I love the rivalry and I love John but I had to say no. I wish we could just do whatever we wanted to do in life. I suppose the world would be quite a mess if we all just said "to Hell with it" whenever something more exciting got in the way of our responsibilities. It's taken me half a century to realize this. I would have said "I can go tomorrow" but A) that is presumptuous and rude and, B) we have a guest coming over to be on Dirty Laundry Podcast. How else am I going to see a canjo in person?

Now we're talkin'

Speaking of baseball, another great friend of most of my life (since 13th grade in 1982ish) Greg and I have been planning a baseball trip for next season. We have been throwing-out (pun accidental) many ideas. Greg texted me last night suggesting Detroit, Toronto and Cleveland. Two of those cities are American crapholes and the other one has a lunatic mayor; I love it. Maybe I will text LeBron and see if he wants to go to the Cleveland game with us. I love the idea that I have to use my passport to see a baseball game. I have seen a game in Toronto but that was before we needed our passports to get there and back. I also like Cuban cigars. There is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in one of those cities as well as the A Christmas Story house. And then there is Detroit. Toronto is a fantastic city. First we have to wait for the 2015 schedules to come out and then, we have to find dates when they are all at home within a three-four day span. The schedule typically comes out in September for the following season. The schedule dictates the route, sort of. Hopefully we can get some inter league games in as we are both National League guys (him Cubs and me Cardinals). I hope Greg enjoys the sound of snoring; I am told I am a first ballot Snoring Hall of Fame lock.

Tonight is Pizza Thursday. I may go down to the Farmer's Market in town today to get some ingredients. Every Summer Thursday in my MIDDLEwest town is Farmer's Market day downtown. It is a good Farmer's Market in a town known world-wide for farming (everybody knows Dekalb Corn). That reminds me - we are less than a month away form Corn Fest (free corn-on-the-cob there on that Saturday - complete with salt and butter).

I may have to come up with some new pizza ideas based on the ingredients I find. Maybe I will invent the leftover pizza (patent/copyright/trademarks pending). If  I do that this week we will have spaghetti and turkey meatball pizza along with chicken enchilada pizza.They both have red sauces so that is a good start. I need to come up with a white leftover pizza too before I market them to Tombstone.

I better get my butt in gear if I am going to ride my bike downtown; it's already 14:04. Working nights really messes-up the beginning of my weekend. The working doesn't actually mess it up it is really my sleeping. Thanks a lot for slowing down a bit and taking time to stop by here. I hope you have a great rest of your day. The way you feel, most likely, is the way I felt Tuesday night (that the weekend is right around the corner). I will blog tomorrow (99%). TTTT...MITM (safe at home) TA!

PB (Post Blog) - I just got an email from the lady in Milwaukee that I sent a message to a couple of weeks ago about Cha Cha's birthday gift. I was tempted to drive bag up and track her down. Cha Cha had seen some jewelry at a Farmer's Market (coincidentally) when we were up there about a month ago. I have been doing some detective work to track this lady down (through the market organizer...) and my investigation may be paying off. I will keep you abreast (LOL - I said breast) TA again!

I Love That Smell

Paying bills sure does take a chunk out of the old checking account doesn't it? Maybe I will play the lottery this week so I can help somebody else pay their bills by their winning millions of dollars. Why, if someone wins, isn't that a deductible charitable donation for the losers? The state of Illinois is broke and they take a cut too so, double charitable donation. But, then there is the whole gambling is not deductible thing. However, I am not doing it as gambling because the odds have proven to me over the years there is zero percent chance that I will win - DONATION!

Yesterday I started (it will probably will not last very long) buying ingredients for dinner the night of dinner. Last night it was turkey enchiladas, Spanish rice and guacamole, of course. Next time I am going with shredded chicken enchiladas instead; there was a bit too much moisture with the turkey. Yes, I drained it. I just went to the store for tonight's ingredients and it is angel hair pasta spaghetti (technically that is not spaghetti since spaghetti is the pasta) with red sauce, turkey meatballs and garlic bread. Wednesdays are spaghetti (pasta night) - based-on the old Prince Spaghetti commercials. With tonight's and last night's dinners you probably have surmised that I don't eat red meat. You'd like I would be thinner. Cake and cookies and brownies... aren't red meat. Maybe I should stop eating that stuff again too, huh? I really do like to cook; always have. With both of my parents working when I was a yute I did most of the cooking along with most of the laundry. That is not to say that I cooked laundry for dinner.

I have been watching Eastbound & Down on HBO GO. I started awhile ago but got interrupted and now I am back. Very raunchy but really funny if you have a sick sense of humor like Danny McBride and me. I am toward the end of season two of four. I am learning important things like what ATM really means (Ass To Mouth). I love this kind of rude, lude, nude, 'tude humor. That rude, lude, nude, 'tude thing is all me so, as of now, it has been trademarked/copywritten. Each episodes is only 30 minutes long. Big (and medium) stars keep showing-up: Don Johnson, The guy who played Sol Star on Deadwood (he must own stock in HBO), Matthew McConaughey, Will Ferrell, Deep Roy (the oompa loompa guy), the dude who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite, Michael Pena, Lily Tomlin, Adam Scott, Sasha Baron Cohen, Gina Gershon, Marilyn Manson, Seth Rogen... lots of people I have seen before and don't know their names. I am now on the last episode of season two.

So happy that my Friday morning begins in seven hours. Happier that my Friday night begins in 13 hours. And, about three-four of those hours will probably be me sleeping.Vacation is less than two weeks away. I am excited to see Splenda again.

I need to start making the red sauce so my hands can smell like garlic all night. I love that smell. Have a great night. Love the weather if you are in the MIDDLEwest. I am really happy that you stopped-in. I will say that I will probably blog tomorrow. I think I may ride my bike over to the Farmer's Market downtown tomorrow for ingredients for tomorrow night's dinner. I would take Jeff with me but he is still a spazz around people. He is still a puppy even though he is big. He is REALLY SMART but a Baby Hughey. I don't know if that's how to spell spazz, by the way. Have a great Friday Hump Night. TTTT (possibly)...MITM (out)

Should I Change My Name?

I didn't blog yesterday as I had hoped but I am blogging now. We have not recorded the podcast yet either, It sucks how life gets in the way of things you WANT to do. I am writing this while watching one of my top 20 movies; I don't think it cracks the top 10. I really like Sideways. Giamatti and Haden Church are a couple of my faves. What kind of name is Thomas Haden Church? Is Haden his MIDDLE name and Church is his last name? Is Haden his maden name? Is he afraid that he'd be confused with Thomas Aloysius Church? You know me - I had to check. His real name is Thomas Richard McMillen. The names "Haden" and "Church" were taking from his ancestry. They (Church & Giamatti) have been in several movies that I have liked a lot: Tombstone, Cinderella Man, Spanglish, Saving Private Ryan, John Adams, Man on the Moon, The Truman Show...

I want to record a new load of Dirty LaundryPodcast but I don't want to do a sub-par show just so we have something to upload. We need to work on getting more guests again. Cha Cha scouted a person that we will be having on the show soon and there is the fortune teller lady here in town that we have been meaning to get on the show. I didn't realize that it has been two weeks since the last show until I looked to link the show to link that red dealie up there. Life sure does fly by doesn't it? Now I know we should do a new show soon.

Unless your name is BUMgarner it seems

It's only 14:52 and dinner is ready already. I made some white fish, teriaki rice and fried up a couple of the baked potatoes that were left from last night. Since I go to bet, for a about three - four hours at 16:00 or 17:00 dinner at 15:00-16:00 is pretty routine around here. Tonight is my Tuesday already. This week is really snail-crawling by. Vacation is only about two weeks away.

James Garner died. Sadly, as it happens quite often, I thought he was already dead. I am really out of touch. I liked several things he was in too. The Rockford Files was good as far as television goes. I remember Support Your Local Sheriff and Support your Local Gunfighter were funny. Hey fellas, how about The Notebook? What the Hell? He changed his name too; his real name was, still is I suppose, James Scott Bumgarner. Why do they have to change their names? Maybe he hated the Brooklyn Dodgers.

I am gonna eat and then go to sleep right away so I can keep up my girlish figure - girlie baby elephant figure that is. Have a great your Sunday night forget all about the fact that tomorrow is your Monday. Thank you for stopping-off here. My thoughts are going out to my long-time friend Mike and his his family; they are going through a difficult time right now; something I hope and trust that most of us will never have to face. TTTT...pretty sure...MITM (out) TA!

I'm a Tampon?

All reading the blog & listening to Dirty Laundry Podcast

What a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the humidity is low The Weather Channel tells my phone that it is 76 decrees and "feels like" 76 degrees. Time 11:57. Best of all, I am off work (this is my Saturday night right now) and I am sitting on the patio under an umbrella blogging to you. It is weird how everybody has their own little universes right in the palms of their hands now isn't it? I used to make fun, in my mind, of all the tweens and teens having their faces planted in their electronic devises (mainly their phones). Now we're all doing it. The other night at the end-of-shift there were four of us full-grown MIDDLE-aged men all looking at our phones. We were checking our messages or catching-up on our Words With Friends or Googling a Marilyn Monroe film (that one was not me). Have we become more anti-social because of these devises? I don't find myself any more anti-social; just more well-informed. I have a blog and a podcast to do so I need to be up on everything and I have to be able to understand all of those Facebook jokes and memes don't I?

The cul-de-sac is sure hustling and bustling. The garbage man is out front emptying our trash right now and I hear the mail man motoring through the area. I am not sexist - they are both men. We do have a mail woman (that sounds weird) occasionally but I have never seen a garbage woman out this way. If it is an issue of the garbage weighing too much that should no longer be a concern. Waste Management gave everybody in our neighborhood free (to use) giant green rolling garbage cans; one with a yellow lid for recycling and the other with a green lid for regular trash. I am proud to say that the one with the yellow lid always flows-over and the green lidded one usually isn't even one-quarter full. They both have metal bars on the outside so the truck picks them up without the driver having to even having to tough the receptacle. I guess they are not really cans now that I think about it. They all have serial numbers on them so they know which ones are allotted to which houses. We are not required to use them. We could just put stuff on the curb but, they are so convenient that I do not know why you wouldn't used them?

This is how I feel most of the time

I don't think I am going to volunteer for any more special assignments at work. I have enough headaches in my day-to-day life without having to borrow more. Sometimes we are "required" to do extra duty shifts and I will, of course, do those. Depending on whether they are overtime hours may change my mind. I don't really care too much about the extra money but I do like parlaying those hours into extra vacation time (comp time). It seems, just like the adage goes, "no good deed goes unpunished." I guess all of those adages and parabled are based-on something aren't they?

I am listening to the radio while writing this and just heard that in the final season of Two-and-a-Half Men (thank goodness it is finally the final season) that Ashton Kutcher's character is going to Jon Cryer's character. I am sure it is a money reason reason or something but I don't care why they are getting married and will not watch this show. This is one of the dumbest shows that has been on television in history. I am ashamed that it has lasted as many seasons as it has. We are all different and, obviously, millions disagree with me. I bet Charlie Sheen will be on this episode too. Highly unlikely since I think he eas killed-off but I bet he is.

With all of the breaks between writing to throw the ball and Frisbee for Jeff it is 12:48 now. I should probably get out of my pajamas and off the patio and do something today. Thanks a lot for slowing down for a few moments to check-in (maybe even on your mobile devise). Enjoy the weather if you're in my neck of the MIDDLEwest. Lucky for you, most likely, your weekend is only hours away. TTTT?...MITM (out) TA!

Bwog You Wascal Bwogger Bwog!

Another case of films lying to us

I have been very busy for the past couple of days so I have not found time to blog since Monday. It is Thursday night (my Saturday morning) now; that isn't too long between blogs, I guess.

What's the deal with Dueling Banjos? I have always liked that song but something has bothered me about that song and I need to get it off my chest. Yes, I was bothered by a few of the scenes in the film Deliverance butt but that is not what I am referring to. It wasn't really dueling banjos. It was one banjo and one guitar. It could just as easily been called Dueling Guitars. Dueling String Instruments? I feel better having blogged about that. When Kermit the Frog and Steve Martin did the song on The Muppet Show it was truly Dueling Banjos though. Except for the part where Kermit was a sock puppet and wasn't really playing, presumably.

With the back yard completely fenced-in I figured we would not have any more rabbits in the back yard. Wrong again Mr. Wizard. Did you forget all about Peter Rabbit? Peter wandered into Farmer McGregor's garden (our back yard) yesterday by going under the fence. He/she was welcomed by Farmer McGregor (playing the part of Farmer McGregor is Jeff Helser). Jeff tore-off after that rabbit like a rodeo clown trying to distract a bull from goring the cowboy. The rabbit was bouncing off the fence here and there realizing he was trapped in the bull ring. Jeff was right on the rabbit as they both zigged and zagged. The rabbit would make quick turns and Jeff was tasting unlucky rabbit foot. I could not believe how fast Jeff was. He had rabbit fur in his teeth. I have seen him run down a Frisbee and a ball but he was The Bionic Dog. Eventually the rabbit blindly made a fortuitous turn and lucked into an escape back under the fence. It pays to have four lucky rabbits feet. I was glad; I didn't feel like having another wascal wabbit funeral. I bet we don't get any rabbits back here anytime soon.

I think we will record the new Dirty Laundry Podcast tomorrow night. Maybe earlier, during Cha Cha's lunch hour, so I can begin the editing process. Recording the show takes about an hour. Editing the show takes about six to seven hours. Probably up by Monday.

Today I cleaned out the refrigerator; boy, that was long overdue. I am kind of tired so I am going to blog off into the sunset. I will probably blog tomorrow while Cha Cha works. I may go over to see my parents too. I haven't seen them in awhile (since Father's Day). Life sure does get in the way of things doesn't it? They will probably be upset when they find out Cha Cha was in the hospital for three days and I didn't tell them. I doubt that my colonoscopy will upset them that much.

Have a great night. Thank you for stopping by. TTTT (89%)...MITM (out) zzzzzzzz

I Love the Dairy Air

Not this time anyway

Happy Monday to you (Hump Day to me).

It is only 10:16 and I have slept for six hours already. I am awake now, apparently. It was nice going in at 17:00 last night and getting off at 01:00 this morning. I thought I was working from 17:00 last night until 06:00 this morning but they didn't want to pay the overtime. That piece of information was not conveyed to me when I signed-up. I accept half of that blame because I assumed and did not ask. It was still nice to work in some daylight; I was happy to see that my skin did not melt from the sunlight. Now, tonight, I start at 22:00 as usual. So, I will get a few things done and then catch some more Z's around 16:00 or 17:00. At least tonight is my hump night.

It was fun working the drum and bugle corps show though my feet hurt today. I spent most of the night controlling traffic by the drum & bugle corps' buses and equipment trucks. I was constantly flooded with memories of the days when I travelled around the country with the Fox Valley Raiders. I saw a couple of people that I was in the Corps with last night. It would have been a lot more fun back then if we had the buses these kids have these days. We also didn't have personal phones or internet... We spent time taping drum sticks and stuff. These buses are like airplanes without wings with the televisions in each seat back and the reclining seats...

The last I wrote was Friday. That night my buddy Greg and I went to the Cardinals' game in Milwaukee. The game started out bad for we Cards' fans as the Brewers got six runs in the first two innings. The Cardinals ended-up scoring seven and won 7-6. It was a fun time but I would have preferred that the Cardinals would have scored a lot in the beginning and blown-out the Brewers because, with the one-run game, nobody left early and we sat in the parking lot trying to get out for what seemed like an hour. The two hour drive turned into about three with one spent at Miller Park Preferred Parking.

I'd make these signs cow-shaped

Over the last month or so I have spent just about as much time in Wisconsin as I have in Illinois. It looks like we are going back to Wisconsin next month for a looonnnggg weekend again. We should probably look into buying a small house or apartment up there. Wisconsin time-share? There are a lot of fun things to do up in cheeseland. Winters in Wisconsin aren't too much fun though. They're not really that fun here in Illinois either for that MATTer. The one thing that will probably keep me from living there is there political climate. To be more specific I think I am referring to the racial climate. As I think about it there were very few people who were not mozzarella cheese-colored at the last two Brewers' games I attended other than the players. I did not consciously think about it until now but I don't think I saw very many non-caucasian people there (the games). On second thought there were many people of color working as vendors (that doesn't count as far as I am concerned). I guess that is proof that I don't really see people by the colors of their skin. The next time I am up there I am going to make an effort to see if this train of thought is correct. Players for the: Packers, Bucks, Brewers... do not count in my analysis. Fabio is almost in Wisconsin again today (Six Flags Great America).

There I go again getting out of my depth.

We haven't recorded a new Dirty Laundry Podcast yet this week. Darned switching of work schedules. I hope maybe we can record one tomorrow. The last show was uploaded a week ago today.

I am gonna end here now so I can get some stuff done before work. As always, I appreciate you stopping by to read my lunacy. I figure if I blog enough maybe, eventually, I will make a difference in the world even if by accident. Have a great rest of your Monday - every day is one day closer to the weekend. TTTT...MITM (out)

This Day In Baseball History

Drum Corp Show crowds can get pretty unruly

I said I would blog this morning and I am blogging. Sometimes a plan DOES come together. My only FULL day off has commenced and it has started off pretty well. The fence got finished yesterday afternoon and I spent an hour or so playing with Jeff in the backyard this morning. He never rarely misses catching the Frisbee anymore. He is still kind of unsure what to make of having the "run" of the entire back area. I also got a text from my Sergeant asking if I want some overtime Sunday night working security at the Drum & Bugle Corp show. My normal starting time Sunday is 22:00 but, with this, I will start at 17:00. That means I will probably get five hours of overtime or comp time. You know that I will take the comp time. That equals nearly another full day off with pay. I will probably be directing traffic or checking bags or crowd control. I cannot imagine what other things would need to be done at an event like this. All those years in the Fox Valley Raiders and I never really thought much about how much it takes to put on one of these shows. We were always too busy trying to be perfect on the field. I did always appreciate the time the adults put in teaching us and busing us around the country and feeding us and protecting us and scheduling us... but I never considered all the work at the venues. I suppose that is true in most aspects of life even today. We take so many things for granted in our daily lives. If you come to the show don't make me taze you bro!

This afternoon I am headed north of the border into enemy territory. The Milwaukee Brewers vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. It's funny that it takes less time for me to get to Miller Park than it does to get to Wrigley Field or U.S. Celluar Field. Not only that; parking is a pain in Wrigleyville. That makes me realize that I haven't been to a White Sox game in awhile. I may have to get down there this season. I wonder if The Cardinals are coming to the Southside this season. I still think inner-league play sucks but it does give people more chances to see other teams rather than the usual fare. So, for that reason alone, I think it is good. Let's do it for the kids! Nope, The Cards are not coming to The Cell this season. I am not really a big fan of the American League now that I think of it; that dislike all centers around the designated hitter. The DH is stupid in my mind. If the DH had existed in 1914 we may never have seen Babe Ruth hit. I am a baseball purist though I do like the new shopping mall ball parks.

I have to head over to Lowe's to get another gallon of paint. Painting is a pain in the butt. Another thing - I am getting even sicker of hearing about "additional handling" on television commercial. So, they're telling me that it takes a lot more effort to grab two boxes of whatever useless crap I am buying than to grab one box? I am not even hearing "shipping and handling" that much anymore. Extra money for shipping - at least that lie seems kinda feasible. I am paying zero money for handling. I will handle stuff myself.

I just found a piece of blog accidentally channeling history. It was 100 years ago today that George Herman "Babe" Ruth made his Major League debut as a member of the Boston Red Sox. Good move dumping that worthless piece of crap Red Sox. Maybe rather than my Cardinals jersey or my Bob Ueker shirt I should wear my Babe Ruth Yankees' shirt. I actually bought that shirt at the old Yankee Stadium. So many wardrobe choices. I sound like I am going to an award show and need to do costume changes. Are guys supposed to worry about their clothing so much? I know the answer is "no." Maybe the Babe Ruth shirt and a Cardinals' cap? But then, which Cardinals' cap? I have about 10. The green one? The old-timey one? The box-style one with the while stripes around it (ala Pittsburgh Prates)? The blue one with the birds on the bat? The all-star one? So many wardrobe decisions indeed. In the words of Wolfie Mozart, "Why don't I have three heads?" He was talking about wigs though.

I need to get some stuff done so I don't feel guilty playing all night. Have a great day. If you happen to be in Milwaukee tonight and are hired to kill me I will be in section 208, row 7 in either seat 16 or 17. I hate to see innocent people injured so I will make it easy for you. Probably going with the Babe Ruth shirt but please read the previous paragraph in case I call an audible and we find better seats "in the front roooooow." Cardinals-Brewers game - probably no open seats tonight though. Thanks a lot for stopping by. Please listen to Dirty Laundry Podcast if you haven't heard the new show yet. I will probably blog again tomorrow unless the hit money is good enough on me by now. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

I Think I Have Been Cursed For Three Years From Now

Or in Another Three Years!

The colonoscopy results are in and I am not sure if I have butt cancer or not. I think the letter says I don't have it now butt but I will probably have it in three years. The letter states, "during your colonoscopy, biopsies of polyps were taken and found to be adenomatous polyp, which are entirely benign, yet there were areas in the polyps suggesting an increased risk of colon cancer in the future." The letter goes onto say I should have another colonoscopy in three years. So, A) they use commas just for the Hell of it, B) I may get butt cancer in three years C) they think I know what adenomatous means.. They also say I should "call my office in three years to schedule your follow up exam at that time." Seriously? Maybe I will call them today and set up the appointment for three years from now. That way they can call me back to remind me in three years rather than me trying to remember to call them in three years. Does anybody have a 2017 calendar I can borrow? I just checked and my phone will actually let me enter things on the 2017 calendar. I am sure I will have this same phone in three years and technology will not change within that time. I am not sure where I will be in three years.

Happily, it is Friday night right now for me (actually 06:58 Thursday regular people time). When I get done writing this I will sleep and wake up in the MIDDLE of the night (about 11:00 AM) and do stuff. Then, tomorrow, my hetero life-mate Greg and I are going to the Brewers-Cardinals game in Milwaukee. If you want to learn about Milwaukee listen to this weeks Dirty Laundry Podcast (Load #158). The Cardinals are only two games behind the first place Brewers. If the Cards win tonight and the Brew Crew loses tonight tomorrow, when we are there, may be when the Cards move into a first place tie. Go Phillies!

Wow, I am falling asleep while writing this.

The backyard should be completely fenced-in by the end of the day. Jeff Helser will be very excited when he gets to run around the entire backyard unhindered. He loves to run and play and this will allow him to to both of those things just a bit more. Did I mention that I am sleepy? I am gonna break right now and blog more when I wake-up. I hope I dream about something interesting for your sake.It is 7:36 right now. Good night morning for now...

Now it is 11:13 and the fence is just about finished. Who says sleeping doesn't fix things and solve problems?! I rarely remember my dreams so nothing interesting to pass along there. All I can think about is baseball and the fence getting done. Sleep fixed the fence thing so now if the Cardinals finish the four game sweep of the Pirates and the Cubs beat the Reds I will know that dreams can come true. Not to mention the Brewers being on a slide (pun intended). That pun is kinda funny if you know Bernie Brewer.You don't see me rooting for the Cubs too often but they are harmless. I cannot believe all of the sweeps that may be conncluded in the National League Central today - Reds over Cubs, Cards over Pirates, Phillies over Brewers. Something like that can, and has, change (d) the entire division standings.

I am going to go out and talk to the fence dudes. Thanks a lot for stopping by. I will probably blog again tomorrow morning. We are headed North about 15:15 so if you don't see it by noonish it will be up Saturday (my crappy Monday). Thanks a lot for stopping by; I really appreciate you - REALLY! Have a great Thirsty Thursday. TTTT...MITM (out) GO Cubs, Go Phillies, and most of all GO CARDINALS! TA! I sound like a ten-year-old girl.

Blogging Been Bery Bery Good To Me!

flash-forward two years

I am happy to be blogging; it feels like months since I last blogged but, as it turns out, it has only been five days. I have really missed writing. Does that make my blogging an addiction? Maybe it's just that a lot has been going on lately so it has been hard to find the time. There are a lot of household projects going on here. A few of the largest are: painting a couple of rooms and getting the backyard completely fenced-in (we had one side and part of the back fenced in when our previous neighbors had their hideous swimming pool installed near our yard). Now that house sits vacant and the pool had standing water in it. Nobody mows the lawn or takes care of anything. It's like one of those old rickety haunted houses in movies though it isn't rickety or 1313 Mockingbird Lane. One of the other neighbors has mowed the lawn three times this year so far because he was tired of seeing the VERY LONG grass. Cha Cha went over and weeded the front yard last week. Between that and the standing water that is drawing mosquitoes I am tempted to call the city. There is a realtor sign on the yard but they clearly don;t care. The house, I believe, was foreclosed upon and is now in short-sale which may explain the lack of realtor interest.You hear all sorts of rumors and stories when you live in a cul-de-sac. Then, some moron who still has news writing tendencies in his veins and heart, spreads unsubstantiated facts in his blog. The blog, however, is more editorial in style so he feels like he can write whatever he wishes without reprisal.

I have worn a Cards' jersey here before but not on a Friday night

Tonight is my Friday. Work has improved a great deal. We have a new Sergeant and she is awesome. I am fairly certain she doesn't read the blog so this is not buttering-up. She had been my Sergeant when I was in a different capacity in the department and she was great there too. I am much happier going to work again. I feel I will get even happier as things are changed.

This real Friday (in two days) my buddy Greg and I are going to the St. Louis Cardinals game. The game is actually in Milwaukee but I am rooting for the visiting team. It's gonna me like going to the 1982 World Series - hopefully with the same outcome. Maybe I will wear my robin egg blue Ozzie Smith shirt. Nothing says macho like a baby blue shirt. I may rethink that idea. The Braves' announcer, Bob Ueker, is a former Cardinal. He was on the 1964 Championship team. He also played in Milwaukee too but they were the Braves back then. I love Uek! I was at a Brewers' game just last two weeks ago. I got a Bob Ueker short and I may wear that under my Cardinals' jersey.  It just dawned on me that I have not been on a park tour of Milwaukee (Miller Park). Hey, I haven't been on tours of Wrigley Field or U.S. Cellular Field either. They are the three closest parks and I haven't been on their tours. I have been on stadium tours in: Washington, Baltimore, Texas (Rangers), Houston, Washington, St. Louis. I think that is it. I have been to Philadelphia and both New York parks (the old ones for the Mets and the Yankees) but couldn't get tours there when the time I was there. If you get a chance you should go on these tours. They are usually fairly inexpensive and you get to see lots of really cool stuff. You almost always get to go into the dug-out. You see the locker rooms, walk on the field (they won't let you get on the grass though), media booths, sky boxes (usually including the owners' box)... If you love baseball you need to do these tours. I love baseball as you probably have guessed. I also love road trips even of they are only for trips two hours away.

The new load of Dirty laundry Podcast is ready. I finished editing and got it uploaded yesterday. We talk a lot about our hospital visits and our recent trip to Milwaukee (not the one coming up in two days though that would be really cool if I could figure out how to do that).

Hey, the fence dudes are here. We must have passed the post hole inspection because they have post holes and a concrete mixer with them. I am going to go outside and bug them. I want to know what they are doing with OUR DIRT from the holes. There is an area near the house that Cha Cha wants to build-up so the dirt will come in handy. I am gonna tell them just to leave it and I will wheel barrow it up when they are done with the fence.

Thanks a lot for showing-up. I appreciate you reading the blog and listening to the show. Have a great rest of YOUR hump day. I am pretty sure I will blog again tomorrow on my Friday night/Saturday morning. TTTT...MITM (vapor) TA!

Happy Independence Blog

I am sitting on the patio enjoying my Saturday night (you call it Friday afternoon). Cha Cha, Jeff and I played like Europeans earlier today. We walked to the supermarket, got groceries and walked home. Jeff didn't get to go into the store because our town isn't quite that European yet. If you're not sure who Jeff is just click that red link up there and you can see his The Facebook page. We took my huge army backpack and several reusable grocery bags with us and filled those with food and walked back. I think the backpack weighed about 50 pounds on the way back. The store is about exactly .6 miles away. We were sure to get a loaf of French bread and celery stalks so we could complete the European feel with those items sticking out of the top of one of the bags.

Tonight we may have a fire in the backyard. We are not much into fireworks. Fires yes, works no. They're okay but they are not worth the crowds (mainly the traffic). Plus, being podcast celebrities as we are, it is difficult to be left alone. Not only that we have to record the new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast. The show is also free on iTunes. I know I plug the show a lot on the blog but there may be new people here and I really would like the podcast to be my job someday. I think I may try to fit in watching John Adams (with Paul Giamatti) again too. I like Paul Giamatti because: he seems nice, he is a good actor, he picks good roles and he has MATT in the middle(ish) of his last name. It has been several years since I watched the 7-part mini-series. I am fairly certain I will not watch the entire thing tonight but not 100% certain.

When we got back from our walk I mowed the lawn. I am pretty sure the person who wrote the scene where the trees were attacking Snow White was mowing the lawn when the idea came to her/him. I think I may have written that here before but, if I did, it was a while back. That reminds me - we should be getting the rest of our backyard fenced in this week. That will be really nice for almost everyone who lives up in this hizzy.

I am afraid if I start watching John Adams I may fall asleep. Naps are  for Thanksgiving not for Independence Day. Does anybody else think about Johnny Whitaker and Jodie Foster on the 4th of July? I'd like to have Johnny Whitaker on the show.

I am gonna mosey-on; there is lots more to do around here. Enjoy your fireworks and family and friends and booze and music and whatever Independence Day means to you. Thanks a lot for spending a few minutes of your independence with me. I may blog tomorrow but, more likely, I will be editing a world-famous podcast. TTTT or the next day or the next day...MITM (out) TA!

The Grand Budapest Hospital Blog

No wonder medical care is so expensive. Those vehicles are huge!

It's been a few days since I last blogged; things have been pretty crazy over the past seven days. I actually did blog from my cell phone a couple of days ago but I only left it up for a short while. It was about Cha Cha being in the hospital and after I had it up I felt that I may have been invading her privacy without her permission. I wrote it on my phone at her bedside while she was asleep so I felt like I was with TMZ or something so I deleted it. Even though it was only up for probably 30-45 minutes I could not believe how quickly I received several comments. I guess people actually do read the blog. I know I see all of these numbers on the podcast and the blog but I am almost always a skeptic on just about everything. The letters we receive for the podcast and the messages I get for the blog make me realize that the numbers really do equal people listening and reading. Thank you (obviously you are reading this right now).

Cha Cha is better now and she is back to work. I am sure we will talk about her hospital stay, my colonoscopy and our trip to Milwaukee (all occurred since my last blog) on this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast. I am pretty sure we will record the new show tonight.

Tomorrow is U S and A's 228th birthday. She's just a baby compared to most of the rest of the world. Why do we celebrate the birth of our nation? When people get past like ten years old we don't have birthday parties anymore. We still will celebrate the 21st and the 30th and the 40th and the 50th... but a 228th for a country? Seems stupid to me. I guess we celebrate Jesus' birthday every year in December even though he was supposedly really born in September (makes sense he would be a Virgo like me).

This just in - we're gonna record the podcast tomorrow instead of tonight. Cha Cha is still a bit wiped-out from her hospital stay. I have a bed headache so I am all for that too. I think mine is sinus problems due to seasonal allergies. The show should be up my Monday. That makes it near a week since the new show was uploaded.

I think we are going stay home tonight and just watch Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit and The Grand Budapest Hotel. They both start in six minutes. We are recording both on PPV (Pay-Per-View). We can watch them for up to 48 hours before they are gone. I think we are gonna watch The Grand Budapest Hotel first.

I am gonna sign-off. I will blog again in the morning unless this headache kills me tonight. Headache, take me away. Thanks for stopping in. I will try to be more interesting tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!