Halloween is always my time of the month!

I am having a hard time getting the Dirty Laundry Podcast up so I probably won't get it up until tomorrow. I hope you can wait that long.

I just went to Walgreen's to get Cha Cha's medicine. On the way back I saw two scooters riding side-by-side coming toward me in the other lane. Something seemed very odd about the riders and it wasn't until they were close to me that I realized that they were two Gumby's riding scooters side-by-side. You don't see that every day. I laughed out loud.

For some reason I don't like Halloween as much this year as I have in years past. I suppose it's partially that the kids are both older now and that was a lot of the fun of it but it is probably something else too. I am not sure what the "something else" is but I don't seem to be in the spirit of  it this year. Maybe it's because I am still getting over this cold; I guess I will wait until next year and see if the spirit returns. Maybe I am just an old fart now and no longer in The Middle. I don't think that is it but do we know when we cross the line to old age?

I am watching Stephen King's IT. I have seen it a couple of times and I like most of it. I read the book a couple of years ago, before the movie was made, and I liked it okay. I like most of it except for the ending. The ending stinks. That is one of Stephen King's problems in my opinion - his endings. He is great at building suspense and character development but his endings leave me disappointed most of the time. I am reading his newest novel (11/22/63) and hope the ending is better than his novels usually are. It partially takes place in Derry, Maine where a lot of his stories take place, including IT.

I don't know how long you've been reading my blog but for the first year or so I noticed that I would get crabby at the end of each month. I called it my Mattstruation. I have not noticed it much for the last couple of months but I notice it again this month. I wonder if it's worse in the fall and the winter? I have always believed men have cycles like women but we don't have the obvious sing that women have once a month. Men are far more moody than women no MATTer what most of them will tell you. I am not afraid to adMATT it.

The doorbell hasn't rung in quite awhile but maybe that's because we don't have the porch light on. Fabio was in charge of distributing the candy and he and some buddies are out now begging for themselves and it is dark now and we don't have a light on so no trickers for our treats. That's cool because I don't feel like answering the door. The little kids have already come and gone and that's what it's really about anyway.

I am just about ready for bed; it's been a long day. I am really happy that I have the night off. I had lunch with my buddy Greg today; I always enjoy spending time with him. His only weakness is that he is Cubs' fan. I can overlook that because he's not one of the annoying ones.

It's only a little after 7PM and it feels like 11PM to me. I am really tired and I am sure it's still this lingering cold. I think I am going to succumb and lie down. I will probably fall asleep but who cares? I have no reason to stay awake. Have a great rest of your night and a good tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (out)

Hypothetical Karma is Gonna Get You?

It just dawned on me....what if Super Storm Sandy (the artist formerly known as Hurricane Sandy)  is what the Mayans saw? What if this is the beginning of the end? Could this be the beginning of the deterioration that ends on December 22nd? More importantly, is it "the Mayans" or "the Maya?" It sounds like they were pretty spot-on on the destructive power of these three weather systems colliding. I feel bad for these people out east. I have always wanted to live on the ocean but at times like this I am happy I am Matt In The Middle and not Matt On The Left or Matt On The Right.

OK, here's a hypothetical situation that I want you to tell me your thoughts on. Let's say, hypothetically, that your son (let's call him Gobio) wants an XBox 360 game that's hypothetically called Assassin's Ceed III that just came out today. You decide to go to Wal-Mart and get the game while he is in school with his money per his request. As long as you're there you decide to buy some groceries. During the course of your shopping you go to the electronics department and get the game. The person asks "do you have more shopping to do" to which you reply in the affirmative. He puts the game in a hard case that, you imagine, would set off alarms at the front of the store if you tried to exit with the game still in this case. You go to the checkout and pay for your stuff and leave. When you get home you look at the receipt to see how much Gobio owes you and discover that the game is not listed and you paid, let's say $24.68, for all of your groceries and the $60 game. The game was not listed on the receipt, hypothetically. The game is there no longer in this tough case but you were not charged for the game. Was this good karma for you? Was this bad karma for Wal-Mart? Will there be karma taken from your account later? Is karma bologna? Is this stealing? Should you check what you're signing before you sign because next time you could be charged too much rather than too little? Just wondering your thoughts on this purely hypothetical tale. Hypothetically.

I just searched for something to add here and I found a story about how Sir Paul McCartney said that Yoko Ono is not to blame for the breakup of The Beatles. Is it karma that I write about karma and there is a story about a dude who wrote a song called Instant Karma. Is that instant karma? Sir Paul said John was already drifting away before Yoko came on the scene. Good karma on ya Paul!

This is my Friday night now and after I go to sleep and wake up this afternoon/evening it will be my Saturday morning. Cha Cha and I are going to record the Dirty Laundry Podcast tonight and if you listened to last week's show you heard me struggle through it pretty sick. This week, if she's able, you'll hear Cha Cha struggle though it the same way, Poor Cha Cha.

I have to get to sleep. Hey, did you hear that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, one of Mitt Romney's biggest supporters, is praising President Obama for acting quickly in helping his state with the recent Super Storm? I think the Republican Party is not going to be very happy with Christie. Okay, now I really have to get some sleep. Thanks a lot for being here. I hope you have a great day. If you're out east and need a place to stay for awhile drop me a line. I hypothetically have some karma to pay back. TTTT (listen to the podcast in the meantime)...MITM (out) TA!

Are Hurricanes Democrats?

How long do you think it will be before some network is showing The Perfect Storm? I hope people weather the storm on the east coast but I cannot help but wonder if we'll own beach-front property by the weekend the way the news talks. The news really gets off on this sort of thing. News really is only about what is going bad. I think it\'s pretty mean naming a storm Hurricane Sandy when it's gonna destroy beach communities. I wonder if I need to get the boat back out of storage?  I just searched and AMC is showing The Perfect Storm on Monday at noon; I thought I was kidding, It is a good movie if you haven't seen it. Who knew there was such a thing as a snowicane?

I think Cha Cha and I may do early voting today or tomorrow. I could have early voted for this election four years ago. Never mind, since I wrote that last sentence we voted. I GUARANTEE that the candidate I voted for POTUS will win my state! Guaran-damn-tee it!!!!! I got a sticker....jealous?

I have a lot more on my mind but most of it I want to talk about on Dirty Laundry Podcast tomorrow and there has to be different things to talk about on each right? Cha Cha and I will record it tomorrow night and then I am going to record another one without her on Sunday with filmmaker John Borowski. Cha Cha will be out of town with her breasties besties, Nobody has stepped-up and asked to be my co-host for the week so the job is still open. Don't be nervous, anybody sounds great next to me. 

Did you hear about the privately built unmanned spacecraft called the Dragon built by SpaceX that will be returning to Earth from outer-space? The first commercial spaceship is bringing urine and blood to Earth from the International Space Station. I never really thought about what astronauts did with the human waste. I suppose I thought they had a pill to stop pooping and peeing or they just let it float out onto space. They are using the bodily fluids to study nutrition and bone-loss and stuff. If space could bring us aluminum foil and the microwave maybe it can help us live longer so the world can continue to get over-populated and them we can move to space.  

I just read a report that people named Sandy (the real name of Frankenstorm) who donated to Presidential candidates in this year's election were more likely to vote for Obama than Romney. 73% of people named Sandy who donated more that $200 this cycle donated to Obama. Further, looking ate recent hurricanes, the statistics hold true. People named Irene were three times more likely to donate to Obama, Katrina (80%), Frances (70%), Andrew (54%) and Rita (69%), Could the National Hurricane Center be in cahoots? It would make sense that God were Democrat I suppose. But she could also be Republican. 

I need to get going because I am making a turkey dinner for the carnivores in the hizzy; they cannot even wait another month for turkey. Have a great night (my Friday - woohoo). I appreciate you stopping in. Make sure to like Matt In The Middle and Dirty Laundry Podcast on The Facebook. I am not gonna lie, my fragile ego needs constant stroking (I am a man, that's what we're all about). TTTT...MITM (civic duty done). Out!

post script - I have no idea why the type face changed and I cannot change it back - damn you technology!!!!

Frankenblog!

Fabio just can downstairs looking like a marionette puppeteer with his black socks and his black shorts and his black long-sleeved turtleneck shirt. He said that "nobody wears turtlenecks anymore" so he and his friends decided to get turtlenecks and try to bring them back on "Turtleneck Tuesdays." I think that is awesome. Don't worry I have my antennae up for anything cultish...

Supposedly there is something brewing on the east coast that they are calling "Frankenstorm." Everything needs a P.R. name these days. Hurricane Sandy may combine with a tropical storm and a winter storm to potentially be a one-of-a-kind storm in history. They are saying that it could be the worst storm in the history of mankind. Worse than locusts? We feel we have to sensationalize everything these days. I won't be surprised if the Frankenstorm gets corporate sponsorship before all is said and done. I know it's great that we can be prepared for this sort of thing but everything has to be a media extravaganza. Within the next week or so we will see some morons standing outside in 100 mile per hour winds with rain pouring down so hard that we cannot hear what they are saying but they will be out there showing us something. Mainly showing how stupid they are to stand out there in what they call the worst storm since Noah built a boat. Maybe the should call the storm Hurricane Lon (Chaney, Jr.) or Hurricane Boris (Karloff).

I feel much better but I am still a bit stuffed-up. I slept for about four hours when I got home from work and will try to get four or five more before I head back for more Halloween weekend fun.

Last night I made a nice chicken parmesan and some rotini for my housemates and they decided they would rather order pizza. I don't even eat chicken and worked for over an hour to make a nice dinner and there the plated dinners still sit on the counter. I had some of the pasta and it was delicious. In the words of every mother in the history of time one time or another, "why do I even bother?" I wish I had an address of someone needy in the world I could mail these to. Tonight let it peanut butter for all I care. Then, to top it off (pizza pun intended), they ordered pizza rather than cooking one of the dozens of frozen pizzas we have in the freezer. When did I become my parents? Weird Cha Cha just got home and she went right into the kitchen and warmed up some of the chicken parmesan for her lunch. Tell me that there is no blogging karma.

I am getting really stuffed up again.

I have always thought that Hershey's should call their chocolate syrup Hershey Squirts. You may as well go with it. Maybe it doesn't seem very appetizing but times have changed.

I need to call this a wrap. I have to try to sleep and try be able to breath through my nose. I hope your weekend goes well. I will probably blog Monday so until then, keep your feet on the ground even if Frankenstorm arrives before the. TTTM...MITM (xoxo)

Interested in a Blog Franchise?

There are a few things I would rather be doing than bogging but since I cannot seem to do them I will blog. The things that come to mind are: sleeping, breathing through my nose, not suffering from a sore throat... I took a couple of NyQuil tablets at about 7:00AM and then went to bed and slept all the way until 11:00AM (four whole hours). I will be right back, my teapot is whistling at me. Sorry, it took so long; I emptied the dishwasher and filled it back up while I was getting a simple cup of tea. No wonder everything is so expensive at Starbuck's. I am also in the process of making some kind of chicken parmesan or chicken mozzarella for dinner. Last night at work two people called in sick. I felt that I may be responsible for getting them sick because I was working while I was sick. I also felt that since they called in sick the rest of us had to work harder to cover their duties. I am not the only one who has been working sick. I am torn on these issues. Do I work sick or do I take the chance of getting others sick? Everybody has their opinion and I think I have a responsibility to my employer, the people I serve and the job itself to be at work. I see other people's points of view but this is mine right or wrong. The argument "use them of lose them" doesn't work here either because our sick days carry over. I plan on taking all of my sick days at one time right after I am dead so my family can pay for the trip to sprinkle me in the ocean. If you wish to hear me sick listen to this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast.

I am so happy that it is almost election day. Not that I love to vote though I do love that "I Voted" sticker I get but, I am just tired of all the rhetoric about this candidate and this issue and blah and blah. I am even happier that I do not live in a battle ground state. I heard on the radio this morning all of the attack advertisements about how which candidate is terrible and what they do wrong that they are playing in these states... It must be much more effective to say how crappy your opponent is rather than saying how good you are and what you stand for. One thing that all of the political parties seem to agree upon is that attack ads are the way to go. If I weren't so lazy I would move to Canada. But if I weren't so lazy I probably wouldn't be an American anyway.

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This blog must be boring because it is making me tried just to write it. I doubt that only four hours of sleep and having a cold has nothing to do with that.

Have you seen any of those Peyton Manning Papa John's commercials? The same day that Papa John's renewed their contract to be "the official pizza of the NFL and the Super Bowl" the Denver Broncos' quarterback bought 21 Papa John's franchises in the Denver area. This coming Sunday, while he is playing in a game against the New Orleans Saints, he will star in a new commercial for Papa John's telling us how we can become franchisees too. Step one, become one of the best NFL quarterbacks in history so you have lots and lots of money. Step two, make some Papa John's commercials so you get a better deal. Step three, buy 21 franchises. It's not so hard. How about a chicken parmesan franchise? We have tea! Maybe I should franchise the blog or the podcast though I guess you could just start your own and cut me out. Let me know if you do; I will read and/or listen.

I have more to say but I have to get some sleep. I think I need to finish up dinner first so when the rest of the gang gets here they can just warm it up in shifts while I am sawing logs (hopefully). I need my sleep because I think we're probably going to be busy on the weekend before Halloween in a college town. I wish I had a Papa John's franchise this weekend. Can you just franchise places for certain days? That I may consider. Thank you for stopping in. I hope you have a great weekend unless this is your Tuesday too then I hope you have a great 2/5ths of your week. TTT (maybe T)...MITM  (to sleep eventually) TA!

Read the Blog Like it's Going Outta Style

I must admit as a yute I turned Japanese a few times but now that I am getting older and I am sick I am turning British; I really think so. I have been drinking tea "like it's going out of style." I started doing it with honey and lemon but the lemon was burning the razor blades that had become my throat. Why do you need honey AND lemon anyway? Don't they counter-act one another taste-wise? I imagine that someone decided that the vitamin C was a good idea. I like lemon in my tea but not with honey - it's one or another for me and I went with the honey because of the razors. It's kind of ironic that "going out of style" actually went out of style. It doesn't really make sense. If it were going out of style why would we continue to do it? It works for me since I have never really been in style.

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up and if you want to hear my sick throat it has gone down in posterity. I am feeling a bit better but it is hanging on. We always beat these things one way or another. A couple of days I was ready to beat it by dying but now I have decided to stay above the ground for the time being.

Do you think Donald Trump knows he is a joke to the world? He has to know, right? Now he is offering President Obama $5,000,000 to his favorite charity if he will release his college and passport records. Trump had teased that he was going to drop a bombshell that was going to turn the tide of the election and this is what he comes up with? I don't know but I bet if I looked there is a new season of The Apprentice or Celebrity Apprentice on the whoreizon (trademark/patent pending/copyright).That's probably my favorite word that I have ever made up. I've had some good ones but that's my fave so far. Opportunist = Trump. I really hate this guy. I don't think this is going to "up-end President Obama's bid for reelection" as Trump promised.
Halloween is coming up this next week and I could not care less. I have always been a big fan of Halloween but for some reason I don't care this year. Maybe it's because the kids are both too old for trick-or-treating or maybe I am just sick and tired. We may even be one of those houses that have the bowl on the porch with the note that says "please take just one!" knowing full well that some idiot will take a bunch. Maybe that's when you get crappy candy so they don't take too many? Maybe we'll put pennies in a bowl with the sign.

I cannot concentrate anymore so I think I will wrap this up. Thanks for reading what might be a dying man's last words. I just say that because as soon a we are born we are dying; I have never had a problem with that for some reason. I don't have a death-wish I just accept that all rides must come to an end. It's funny how I talk about death a lot when I feel like I am on her door. Have a great day; maybe we'll have another nice one like yesterday. TTTT (if fate dictates)....MITM (gone) TA!

# Gossip

How do YOU pronounce it?

When did the "pound sign" (#) become the "hashtag?" I am old-school and I will continue to call it the pound sign. This is how we lose our innocence people; it all starts with seemingly insignificant changes that kill our history. I will also accept "number sign" but will not accept "hashtag." Now I go to check and see the history of the # and in Commonwealth England it is called the hash. I guess the "hash"or "hashtag" is actually the original name and we changed it here and now, it seems we are making amends and changing it back? It seems like it has something to do with the different currencies between us and our motherland. They have the pound and we have hash.

I am sick as heck. We recorded Dirty Laundry Podcast last night and you'll hear what I am talking about later today when I get the show up. I have a lot on my plate today but will get it edited and posted sometime today.

I wrote "sick as heck" there and it made me think of something that has been bugging me for a couple of weeks and have been meaning to blog about it but haven't found much time to blog in the last week. How can something be "cold as Hell?" or "smart as shit?" When did feces and Hell become the things that we measure stuff by? Even if it is the complete opposite? Hell is not cold. We also say "hot as Hell" but that one makes sense. "Smells like shit" works too. "Dumb as shit" would probably work but fecal matter isn't smart.

The World Series is going to be boring this year. Yes, I say that mainly because my favorite team (St. Louis Cardinals) got as close as they possibly could without being in the game. The Detroit Tigers and the San Francisco Giants both have boring colors. The same boring colors. Black and orange. Maybe this was planned out because those are typically Halloween colors?

I heard a couple of days ago that Jackie Chan died of a heart attack. I never heard it on the news and I never believe these claims anymore because for some reason people think it's fun to fake death reports. I have not been able to confirm or deny his death because they will not accept my calls but I believe it to be a hoax. By all indications I believe Chan is still alive. I am starting to think that maybe celebs hire P.R. firms to circulate fake death reports to generate publicity. I have never mentioned Jackie Chan on the blog before but here I am making you think of Jackie Chan. I think that I may, one of these days, promote the blog or the podcast with a fake report of my death. Many people believe things like this are bad luck but it has never worked for me winning the lottery so why would it work for faking my death? If it did that would be even cooler. Other than steering our attentions to these supposed dead people what other purpose could it serve? Maybe it's just like a computer virus. People just want to see if they can make it happen.

I think I had mentioned that our subdivision has a neighborhood watch now and we also have a Facebook page. I think I liked it better when we had neither. All I hear about now are rumors and crappy things going on in my neighborhood. People having giant inflatable Halloween decorations stolen, cars filled with people parking in the back of the neighborhood in the MIDDLE of the night, mean bus drivers, somebody not mowing their lawns properly... I am not a bury your head in the sand kinda guy but I am also not a fear-mongering kinda guy. It's ironic that I didn't hear about any of this stuff until they started the neighborhood watch. Maybe that makes it more of a challenge or adrenaline rush for hooligans (that's a good old word we don't use enough anymore). The internet has spawned a whole new world of Gladys Kravitz and Clara Edwards. I like the internet in so many ways but I think I dislike it for almost as many ways.

I need to go downstairs and make a spot of tea for my throat (with honey and lemon) and see about something for my stuffed-up head. I am happy this is my Sunday. I have all day today and tonight and all day tomorrow to try to get a little bit better before I have to go back to work. I think I pushed myself a lot more than I should have last week but, as you know, we all do what we have to do. I worked the last two days sick and will probably have passed my ailment to some of my co-workers but if I don't go to work my co-workers have to pick up my slack. It's quite a quandary, huh? In my work I am also around literally hundreds of people every shift and some of them are sick. How come doctors are never sick? Because they write prescriptions...that's why. Have a great day and thanks for stopping by. Remember if you hear or read of my death later today when the podcast goes up it is probably a hoax. Probably. TTTT (from the afterlife)...MITM (out to the great beyond). TA!

The Axis Powers of Vehicles (almost) & Shysters (not almost)

Toyota, Volkswagen, Fiat

Good (fill in the blank based on the time you are reading this) to you! It's 1AM and I am up. Most people would still be up but I was down and now I'm up. I fell asleep about 10PM and I just fell asleep about 12AM. I am afraid that I am up for the count (I figured if you can be down for the count you can be up for the count). Yesterday, as you remember, I woke up for the day at 2:30AM and fell asleep about 9PM during the St. Louis Cardinals' rain delay during the play-off game that they eventually won. I have to work tonight now and I hope I manage to get some sleep in before then; it may be difficult since I have to drive the entire length of Illinois in there sometime too.

Vehicle shopping went fairly well yesterday and Splenda ended-up getting a Jeep Liberty. It's a really nice car. She had really wanted to get a Volkswagen Beetle and we looked at several and test-drove one that I was about 96% sure we were going to buy but I will tell you why she didn't in a moment. I was kind of excited in a sort of an historical way that she was going to get a VW. I will give you a hint why and see if you can figure-out my warped reasoning behind that. If she would have gotten the car, when she was home, we would have a Toyota, a VW and a Fiat at the house. Maybe that graphic up there kind of gave was a huge hint. It's amazing how forgiving people our country is being full of Axis Powers' vehicles. We took the orange convertible VW Bug for a short drive and it seemed nice. We drove it back to the dealership and I told them we'd like to take it to a mechanic and have them give it the once-over. I said we'd leave the 4-Runner there and they said, "no, go ahead and take them both in case you have to leave the VW at the mechanic for awhile." So, we got into the vehicles and headed toward the mechanic. Splenda drove the Beetle and followed me. On the way she all of a sudden pulled into a parking and I circled-back. She said the car was lurching while she was driving it. We switched vehicles and  headed back to the dealership. While I was driving it back it made clunking noises while shifting into second and third gears both up the gears and back down (it was an automatic transmission) and the engine was making a clunking sound. The sawdust must have worked it's way out of the transmission. We got back to the dealer and I told him that his car was a piece of shit and he didn't not seem too surprised by the look on his face (my extensive poker playing comes in handy from time to time) even though he had told me how great it was. He also said that he had "driven it seven miles and it was a great car with no problems..." He was clearly a lying crook and we left. I should have realized something was shady when they never one time asked to see either of our drivers' licenses and gave us the keys to their vehicle twice without even knowing our names (no exaggeration). When I asked if they were worried someone would steal it one of the dudes said, "people don't steal down here." Another sign that they were idiots and liars. Do not go to Best Buy Auto Sales in Murphysboro, Illinois. We then went to an actual car dealership (sells new and used cars and is a certified Ford and Hyundai dealer) in Marion, IL rather than one of these shysters. I think the actual word should be sheissters which, ironically, is derived from the German word sheiss which means shit! We had found both cars on AutoTrader.com and the Jeep was Splenda's second choice but quickly moved up to numero uno. It all worked out for the better because this new vehicle is much safer and Cha Cha is more relieved as a mother too.

I wish I could sleep. It's now 2AM and I am writing this and Splenda is over next to me working on a paper for her class. The paper isn't due until 6PM so she has plenty of time but she has a class at 9:30AM I think. I wish laptops had been invented and available while I was in college; things would have been so much easier if you could writ papers at home and just send them to your instructors. I have to make a five hour drive back north some time today so I hope I can get a few more hours of shut-eye. I don't work for 20 hours so I should be able to get some in there; that leaves 15 more hours in there for other things.

I have blogged myself into trying to sleep. Have a great day. Remember not to take wooden car parts (that was an attempt as a play on the wooden nickels and sawdust thing but you can tell I am tired when it is so vague that I have to explain it). Thanks a lot for stopping-in. TTT???...MITM (out)

OOOOOOO Blog's On Fire!

Is October National Pistachio Month or something? I love pistachios but I am getting tired of seeing commercials about them. Maybe it's time to bring back singing raisins.

I have never been a Bruce Springsteen fan. I know I am in the minority (again) but I like what I like and don't what I don't. Some of his songs are good. Some one in Major League Baseball (MLB) really likes him though because every game I have watched this year I have heard one of his new songs about "this train" or something. Play Glory Days again....that's a good one. I don't know all of the lyrics of the song are but there has to be a better song for the post-season. Now, since the Indians and the Reds are out for the season "The Boss" is travelling around Ohio with Bill Clinton campaigning for President Obama. It sounds like Ohio is one of the states that will be deciding who wins the election...THE SWING STATES! Shouldn't they get Brian Setzer to do it. The Brian Setzer Orchestra are more swing music that Springsteen. I just Setzer's website and they are busy...they are so busy that they are even playing Peoria in December. I have a feeling that Springsteen has more pull with the people than Setzer anyway so maybe it's a better thing for The Prez. I may have to think my official stance on The Boss. Cha Cha loves him. I'm On Fire is pretty good too.

Those last two paragraphs were written two days ago. Sometimes I write a paragraph here and there when something strikes me and then I will add when I get a chance. I have a chance now because I have been up for 3 1/2 hours since 2:30AM. I am already showered and such and now it's just time to wait.

I am in a melancholy mood. I will be very busy today once the floodgates open so I will snap out of it in no time. That's why it's always better to keep busy because then you don't have time to feel that way. Keep distracted.

I saw a little bit of the Presidential Debate last night (like maybe the last 15 - 20 minutes) and from what I saw and from what I have read and heard this morning it seems like this round goes to The Prez! I think there's one more debate. I am not sure but I think there is.

I cannot believe the Detroit Tigers are up three games to zero against the Yankees. I won't be surprised if they beat them but I am surprised that they are up three to zero. The Cardinals, who are my favorite baseball team in case you are new and live in a cave (I am jealous about the cave thing), are tied one game to one against the San Francisco Giants. They play this afternoon and I doubt that I will be able to see any of the game unless the day goes much better than I anticipate. I usually expect the worst on days like this and then I am not disappointed no matter what happens.If the Cardinals and the Tigers go to the World Series it will be a repeat of the 2006 fall classic. Fabio and I went to one of those games. It was the funnest baseball game I have ever been to. I never thought I would ever get to go to a World Series game and then to go with my son and see our favorite team win...how can that be topped? The only way would have been if all four of the MIDDLE family would have been able to go.

It looks like Prince Fielder made a better choice than Albert Pujols; Prince left the Brewers to go to the Tigers and the post season and Pujols is sipping iced tea by a pool somewhere. I still like Albert but wish he were still a Cardinal.

I am done. The melancholy is taking over again and I don't want this to turn blue. Go Cardinals! Go this day! Thanks for stopping in and for letting me pass a little time; you have always been one of my best therapists! TTT (who knows when)...MITM (gone but not forgotten). TA!

Not Worth Reading (you have been warned)

I said I would blog so I am gonna blog. I am feeling flu-ish and I am sleepy so I am probably Crabby Matty so who knows where this is headed? What is the deal with homecomings? If people want to come "home" let them come home. Why do we have to make huge spectacles and have everyone all home at the same time? Is that the correct "spectacles?" Is there a separate spelling for the glasses kind and the huge ordeal kind? I was referring to the huge ordeal kind. Do any of you really go back to your high school or college when they have homecoming? And, there always has to be a popularity contest to make everybody else feel inferior...Homecoming King and Queen.

Cha Cha and I more and more are thinking about (aboot) moving to Canada. If the Presidential election goes stale I don't know if we'll be able to stay here any longer. I would have to get used to .ca instead of .com. Do .coms work in Canada? I am going to try a .ca right now. Yep, Dot Ca's work here so imagine Dot Coms would work there. DirtyLaundryPodcast.ca does not exist so we could move the podcast there no problem. It's funny how Dirty Laundry Podcast is one of my first thoughts about moving. I liked when I typed DirtyLaundryPodcast.ca the computer asked "did you mean dirtylaundrypodcast.com?" I try to think aboot what I would miss the most about the U.S. of America. I would have to think aboot that for awhile. I can more easily think about what I wouldn't miss. Does that make me a glass half-empty guy?

I have to wrap-up but I said I'd probably blog so I blogged. I hope you have a great weekend...as far as me, I have other plans. TTT probably Monday. Blog to you then! TA!

Without Outer Space There Would be no MITM

I got about four hours of sleep and woke-up awhile ago and somehow the problem with the uploading of Dirty Laundry Podcast came to me during those four hours and it is processing. I just stopped and checked and it's up and I am listening to it right now on this laptop while typing. Thank you astronauts for bringing us back this technology along with Tang. I am going to use this information every time I feel like taking a nap. "I have to cure (enter any uncured disease here) so I'd better take a nap."

Right now is like my Sunday night which means tonight is my Monday morning. I will get to take a nap during the day but I want to work on getting the garage winterized and I have a room to paint upstairs. The room can wait because that can be done in the house during the winter. Every time I paint I think of a movie I saw when I was a really young lad in the rolling hills of the MIDDLEwest. I have no idea what the show was but it made a lasting impression on me some 40+ years later. It was on television so it could have been a tv show but in the movie a lady was painting and she didn't clean up her supplies well enough and her house burnt down and somebody died in the fire and I think she became blind. I know paints and solvents have changed over the past 40 years but I still am very careful not to leave paint and chemicals lying around. Take that people who have believed that "television is a vast wasteland." I remember Newton Minow said that too and that is all I know about Newton Minow. I think he was the head of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) back in the day.

I am going to go upstairs and give Fabio alarm #1 (the gentle "time to get up, buddy") so he can hit the snooze (ignore me but pretend like he is going to get up). I am back and I made his lunch (I still wish he'd buy the hot lunch) and started another load of real laundry (not that Dirty Laundry Podcast isn't real laundry - actually it's "realer" laundry). It's about twenty minutes later and I just called Fabio in sick. I told you I have been feeling sick for the past two or three weeks and it looks like I passed it on. If it were school and people weren't depending on me at work I would have called-off sick too a few times. I work with different people every day and I will continue to get sick and that is what it is. I hope all of those things that we are told about you need to be around germs to build-up your immunities. I will be immune to every known disease to MATT-kind withing two years I suspect.

It's not too late Cubs fans - snap out of it!

The Cardinals play again this afternoon. It is so nice seeing your favorite team doing so well - duh! I don't get to see them on television too often during the season since we are in Cubs country so I really like the post-season when I get to see their games. Tonight is also the Vice Presidential Debate. Both of the participants are loose canons so this one could be a lot more fun than the Presidential Debate. I am surprised that the V. P. Debate is on all of the network stations too. I think this is stupid but I imagine all of the other thousands of networks (ESPN, TBS, SCI-FI, A&E, HIST, BBCA, LOGO, bio, TNT..............) are really happy.

I am going to get working on the garage so I can get some sleep and watch the ballgame. Thanks a lot for stopping in and for listening to the podcast. Have a great day; your weekend is almost here just as mine is ending. I will probably blog again tomorrow because that's what I do. TTTT (86.4%)...MITM (off and out) TA!

It's Splitsville for Cha Cha and The Agitator (MITM)

I knew it was only a MATTer of time but Cha Cha has moved out. She has moved in with MADYM. It seems that MADYM could offer something that I couldn't provide. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I hope they are happy together.

Dirty Laundry Podcast is recorded and I am having a hard time getting it up - no, that's not the reason Cha Cha left. When I said IT I meant the podcast. I really need Cha Cha. I miss her already. Fabio and I are adjusting well so far; we had Chipotle' and watched Survivor: Philippines to MATTsk our sadness.

I haven't blogged in about a week but I have thought about it a lot. Does that count? I just reread what I wrote and I think I made it sound like Cha Cha and I were splitting-up. She is just staying at MADYM's house tonight because she has to be at work early tomorrow and MADYM lives about 30 minutes closer to her work than we do. Sorry ladies, I am still off the market.

I have always liked Bruce Willis (sorry, if you're reading this Greg). He seems like a descent fellow and I like most of his films. That is not to say that he is a great actor I enjoy his work (The Sixth Sense, Pulp Fiction, Hart's War, Tears of the Sun, The Jackal - the rest are kinda awful but I like Armageddon too). Did you hear that he just donated a ski resort that he owned in Idaho to a non-profit organization. I don't know what Soldier Mountain Ski Area, Inc. is but it seems nice. I just checked-out that link and they charge for skiing...how is that non-profit? Maybe it just covers their costs to operate it I suppose. I am always skeptical and like to be wrong and I hope my thoughts/ideas about this may be wrong. Willis also bought 12,000 boxes of Girl Scout cookies recently and sent them to the troops in Afghanistan. Isn't that $48,000 at $4.00/box? Does it matter that he bought them from his daughter? What kind of a prize does a Girl Scout get for selling 12,000 boxes of cookies? A ski resort? I had to know so I checked it out and this year when a scout sells more that 2,000 boxes they get their choice of a Kindle reader, an iPad or $500 Visa gift card. Does she get two of each? If she gets six $500 gift cards that's like getting $48,000 of cookies for only $45,000 - win/win.

I bet The Babe ate his share of GS cookies

I have to get some laundry done and try to figure out why the podcast won't upload. Mitch Hedberg is on television now; man, he was funny. I think I will probably blog tomorrow because I miss it when I am not doing it. I might read some tonight too. There's a lot less pressure when you're a single parent. I am always pretty lazy before bed time but there's far less guilt when nobody is seeing me being lazy. Maybe blogging about it isn't very bright now that I think about it. Thank you for being here and have a great rest of your night or day if you're reading this tomorrow morning (but I guess it is today to you if you are reading this tomorrow morning). If you are reading this tomorrow morning is the weather better? Let me know so I know what I should wash first now last night. TTTT (or later today if you're reading this tomorrow or next week if you're reading this Monday - Blogging Time Travel)...MITM (out)

Some of We Best Authors are from the MIDDLEwest

Why is a big sell for a movie the line "based on a true story?" I actually watch films sometimes to escape my true story. The Wizard of Oz is a pretty good story and it isn't "based on a true story." That reminds me... did you know that the book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was written in the MIDDLEwest? Me neither until just recently. L. Frank Baum (the L was for Lyman; I see why he went by Frank) lived in Chicago at the time at 1667 N. Humboldt Blvd.. Hemmingway lived in Chicago too. Carl Sandburg, Irving Wallace, Edgar Rice Burroughs... So. Tarzan and The Wizard and The Old Man in the Sea are all from The MIDDLEwest...cool! Do you think famous author tours would be as popular as ghost tours or gangster tours? Me neither.

Today the St. Louis Cardinals are playing on television against the Atlanta Braves. I am pretty excited. It's days like these that I am happy that I work nights. Last year the Cardinals beat the Braves out for the final play-off spot and went on to win the World Series. Is it possible that this is deja vu all over again (thank you for that Yogi Berra)? Go Cardinals!!!! (MIDDLEwest domination as well as the cleanest ballpark in the majors - see the blog from two days ago). So far it's a great game; would I be blogging that if the Cardinals were losing? Probably though it is better this way so far. Jimmy Carter is there. I like him but I hope he is disappointed at the end of the game.

It seems like winter is almost here in this part of the country. I know it will get warmer for a day or two before the real winter is here but the descent weather is over. Seems like we forgot all about the summer drought except in the prices of things. It aggravates me that when things are great hey don't lower the prices for us but when things put more pressure on the suppliers they are quick to raise prices. 4-2 Cardinals on a Matt Holliday home-run. I have a Matt Holliday shirt that I plan to wear on vacation the next time I go. I guess I could just wear it Monday on Columbus Day but that isn't a holiday for this Matt since I have to work and it's not one of those days where I work and get Holliday holiday pay because it's not one of our paid holidays.

If the Cardinals continue you win I should continue to have a nice World Smile Day. This is the first year with the new wildcard game that it is a one game elimination. If the Cardinals win here they move on but if they lose they can all head to their beach houses tomorrow.

I am baking chicken, making mashed potatoes and gravy and I have already baked biscuits and I have corn on the cob cooking. Seems like good cold weather food to me. To add to the cold weather theme Fabio is going to the haunted corn maze tonight. Don't tell him but I think he is meeting a girl there. If it's true he already knows it but don't tell him that I know it.


Cardinals score again on a Braves throwing error to the plate. Happy World Smile Day! Holy crap...Cardinals score again! Happier World Smile Day!

Dinner is just about ready so I am going to eat and before you know it I will be at work. Have a great Frinight and try to stay warm if you're in the cold and try to stay cool if you are where it's warm. On second thought stay cool wherever you are. I might blog tomorrow but I might not...it will be a surprise. TTTNT (next time)...MITM (GO CARDINALS). TA!

Blogging Pundit? Nah!

The Presidential debate last night was boring. It seems to me that if there has to be a winner Mitt Romney won this one but neither one of them changed my mind for my vote. We are such a funny culture that we think somebody has to win everything. It couldn't just be a way to find out what the candidates stand for. I am still voting the way that I had planned to vote. There are very few undecided voters so thanks for making me miss Modern Family. The main things that I took away from the debate are that: moderator Jim Lehrer cannot control the debates, Mitt Romney is a spoiled rich person who feels he doesn't have to follow rules, Barack Obama doesn't feel he needs to take chances at this point and I think the word "pundit" is a stupid word. Pundit comes from the Sanskrit word pandita' meaning "learned." It has come to mean anybody who comments on anything so it pretty much is any of us. I am now a pundit on the word pundit.

Tomorrow is World Smile Day...I bet it will rain. That would be great because I love rain and rain makes me smile. What do you get someone for World Smile Day? A smile I guess!

Jesse Jackson Jr., a United States Representative from Illinois, is suffering from bi-polar disorder and gastro-intestinal issues and has not been seen in public since being released from The Mayo Clinic in early September. He is still on the ballot for reelection and does not plan to make any other appearances until "after he is reelected." This will be interesting to see if a politician can be reelected without campaigning. If he is reelected maybe Presidential debates are even dumber than I already think they are.

Why is Thursday the day that most towns have their farmers' markets?

Great gas mileage

It's back to work day (tonight). This morning I think I am going to start preparing the garage for winter. There is always something to do isn't there? In the next week or two I am going to have to go to southern Illinois to help Splenda buy a new car. We got the check yesterday from her totaled car and now she is very anxious to get a car. She is looking at Mini Coopers and VW Beetles and I am looking at things like Jeep Liberty's and more practical vehicles. How is she supposed to get her bicycle home when school is out with a Beetle or a Cooper? Not to mention all of the clothes... she has at school? I know the answer and I think the answer is "dad." I remember when I bought cars at that age and I didn't think practically either.

Time to wake the house so I have to let you get to your daily fun too. Thanks a lot for stopping in; I always appreciate you. Have a great Thursday and enjoy the last nice day for awhile in the MIDDLEwest; it's supposed start changing into chillier weather on the morrow. TTTT...MITM (already tired and the day just started) TA!

Urine / Feces Everywhere!!!! Blogliness is next to godliness

In an election year I cannot believe no network is showing The West Wing. I also cannot believe I haven't seen Dave or The American President or Guarding Tess or Primary Colors or Nixon or JFK or even Forest Gump on any channels with the Presidential election being so close. I bet as the election gets closer we will see movies about Presidents.

Chicago Police found a field full of marijuana plants the size of Christmas Trees (some over 10 feet tall) in a field the size of two football fields while flying over in a helicopter. The pot farm was well hid so it could only be seen from the air but I think the part of the story that they are missing is that it was in Stoney Island. It's like Cheech and Chong were hiding it the most obvious place because hiding in plain sight (plane sight in this case) is always the best idea. The farmers (some call these people drug traffickers but these were farmers) were smart enough to make sure they were nowhere to be found and they will probably never know who was behind this. I think a marijuana Christmas Tree would be very festive; I bet we'd all have merrier Christmases. I think they'd be good for Thanksgiving too. I have never smoked pot but it has always a Christmas wish of mine. Maybe 4/20 could be called Christijuana?

As long as I am on Chicago for now...did you hear that they did a study of the filthiest Major League Baseball (MLB) ballparks? Guess what the dirtiest MLB ballpark was... Remember this is a St. Louis Cardinals' fan talking so that may be a hint. It is Wrigley Field. So now the Cubs lose over 100 games this season, only the third time in franchise history and something they haven't done since 1966, and are the filthiest ballpark in the league but they will still fill the seats again next season. The Cubs cannot blame the filthines on being bad because the only team worse than them in baseball this season, The Houston Astros, are the fourth cleanest. For verification and to see that I did not make this up check out www.ufe.com (UFE stands for, and I am not making this up either, Urine/Feces Everywhere). The website also has an article that says Sweden wants to outlaw urinating standing up. That's the best part of peeing...and I thought the Swedes were so smart and progressive. I am glad Cha Cha doesn't read this blog because I cannot wait to talk about this on next week's Dirty Laundry Podcast. Don't tell her about it...it will ruin the fun. I just read the article and guess what the only ballpark to get an "A" rating in this survey was...that's right, Busch Stadium. Home of the defending World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals. And, they are in the play-offs again this year. The survey even went as far as to see how many people washed their hands when they went to the restrooms. Cleanliness is next to godliness it seems. I found that Miller Park in Milwaukee is #3 in cleanliness. It turns out that I am a much better father than I even knew (I am good even by accident)...I usually take the kids to Milwaukee to see the Cardinals rather than to Wrigley Field. Let this be a lesson to you youngsters out there-- don't be a Mr. Bungle...wash your hands and stay away from Giggly Field.

Now I have to pee (by the way, I always wash my hands). I am so weak-minded.

I wasn't intending to do an entire blog this morning but this has gotten long (TWSS). I sometimes just type things here and there on here and then when it seems like it is blog-length I will tie it together and post it but I am windy this morning.

I have to get Fabio up for school and go to the store to get stuff for his lunch. Have a great day and make sure to wash your hands. Thank you for stopping by. I am fairly sure I will blog again tomorrow. I will probably even start today while I am waiting for the car to be serviced; thank goodness they have wifi. This is the last "free" service we have for the FIAT and I will never go back to the dealer where we bought the car unless it is a warranty issue but now I am starting another blog. TTTT....MITM (out)

Blog

It's been almost a week since I last blogged; where does the time go? I just blog when the feeling arises and I guess nothing arose since last Thursday. For whatever reason something arose just now so here I blog. I think it's actually more about time than it is a feeling. This is my weekend (Saturday) so maybe that makes a difference too.

I always say I am not very political but I think that is sort of changing. I am actually kind of excited to watch the first Presidential Debate tomorrow night. Like many other things, I am not really sure why it is going to be on every network. I have sided with one particular party since I can remember mainly because I believe in more things that they say and stand for even though I know that when it comes down to it I think all politicians are mainly out for themselves. There would have to be something really earth-shattering thing to happen for me to change who I plan on voting for....(hint, it's the same person I voted for last time). I think the reason I say that I am not political is that I am not really interested in being up on all of the issues and I am more of an issue person than a hard-and-fast party person. That's the main reason I think these debates are, though entertaining to watch politicians act like children, are pointless. People already know who they are going to vote for. What kind of snacks do you have for a debate game?

I feel pretty good about myself today; I think I actually saved somebody's life last night. No kidding, I think I actually saved a person's life. I will never really know for sure because who knows is she would have died had I not shown up but I at least helped her. Isn't it nice that when I have something really blog-worthy I have to be so vague but that's the life in a fast-paced, slam-bam, livin' on the razor's edge, laughing in the face of death world of blogging.

More famous than Dracula?

This week's Dirty Laundry Podcast is up and it is an actual World Premiere of an album that was released today. We spoke to the performers (Forest Sun and Ingrid Serban) a couple of days ago and synchronized the release of the album with the uploading of the podcast. We actually had the album a week ago or so and played a few songs from the album on the podcast, with permission, prior to the release. They are really nice people with incredible talent. I love their music. I would tell you more but then it would take the fun out of listening to the show. It's not only about music... there's also quite a bit of talk about travel (Ingrid is from Transylvania and they just got back from a six-month tour of Europe). This is the month of Halloween so a great time for the hometown of the most famous vampire of all time (all time means all time when you talk about vampires).

I have to get dinner done. Tomorrow Cha Cha and I are going to go to turn in the title for Splenda's car. I don't know if I talked about her accident here or just on the podcast but after about a month the insurance company finally decided to total-out the car. We get to go pick up a check for a little over $9,000 which I was surprised to get that much. Splenda should be able to find a decent car for that in Southern Illinois I would think. Have a great night. I may blog tomorrow while I am watching the debate. TTTT?...MITM (out)