Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Aftermatt (for now)

I am sitting in the car at the behavioral health building at Mercy Center in Aurora. Visiting hours aren't for another 22 minutes but I just took a leisurely drive over and will wait to go into see mom. My dad will arrive shortly, I presume. Hopefully, we will find out this morning when she will be able to go home. I do not believe she is ready and I do not believe he is ready to help her as much as she needs. He says he has a neighbor that worked in the mental health field that will help him when he needs help. 

I go back to work tomorrow so it's all dad's show until Sunday. I will go to their house in an emergency but I am about 50 minutes from their house when at home or at work. Maybe I will double-up on the blood pressure meds - just kidding. My dad arrived and we went in to see mom. She was sitting at a table basically catatonic. She and a lady name Sandra were the only ones a the table when we were admitted. My dad sat on one side of the round table across from me and Sandra was at my nine 'clock and mom was at my three o'clock with my dad at my twelve. Sandra was more awake than my mom though it was clear (even though I did not know her personally) that she needed to be there. She was probably close to my mom's age and her hazel eyes, though they would track somewhat, were empty inside. I held my moms hand with my right had and I held Sandra's with my left. Sandra asked my to rub her head to I massaged her head. After awhile she began crying and said, "tell my son that I love him." She said that a few times and I assured her that he knew that she loved him even though I knew I would probably never meet him nor did I know if he even really existed. She then told me that she has a son and a daughter. It was kind of heartbreaking and, as I spoke with her and held her hands off-and-on, I teared-up. I have a tender heart and I well-up pretty easily at times.
Those last three paragraphs were written Sunday and it is Thursday now. Mom went home that night (Tuesday). My dad and I managed to get her into his car (actually the nurses had to put her in the care per regulations) and I met them at their house because, of course, I had my car there too. When we got to their house she walked into the house with my had pulling the walker and me walking behind her with my hands under her armpits. I felt sort of like a puppeteer with her as my marionette though she was actually making the walking happen, She would have folded without my holding her up though. So, I got her to the couch and she immediately fell asleep sitting there as I am sure the walk in was exhausting for her. My dad went to get her medicines and some door alarms while I watched television while she slept on the couch next to the chair I was sitting in.

I do not believe she should be home and I made that very clear to the hospital staff and my father. His health is not very well and he has to have a hernia outpatient surgery and I am on deck for that in early April. Pride can be a terrible thing. My mom needs to be in facility with 24-hour care in my non-medical opinion. If it were Jill in this situation I would sell everything that I owned to make sure she were given the best care available. I know I could sleep on someone's couch or in my car while she recuperated. I guess I am of a different generation and mind-set. I always plan for the worst and hope for the best. Most things end-up being closer to the best than the worst but I am ready for whatever happens with my mind in that mode. 

I am gonna end now but didn't want to leave you hanging on what was going on. My mom has some people (nurses) coming in during the week to bathe mom and help with minor things. Their neighbor lady works in the field (from her house) and she can come over and cover form my dad when he needs her to. I will also be available to take him for his hernia surgery (outpatient) in early April. I am not going to reread this as I am exhausted from work today and you get the picture I hope/believe.

Thank you for all of the whatever it is that you do (pray, send vibes, juju, happy thoughts...). I truly appreciate you (as I always have) and it's great to know people like you are in my life. I am not sure when I will write again but I would guess maybe Saturday or Sunday? Thanks for stopping by... TTTSat or Sun...MITM (out) TA!

1 comment:

  1. Know that you are a hero, we all stand with you and we are proud to call you our friend, Matt. We've got you.

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