...And Then Reality Sets In

I have thought, for most of my life, that I was a happy-go-lucky, positive person but I have come to believe that I probably am not quite as optimistic as I have portrayed or believed. I think I like to give the air of positivism (mostly to myself) but I think that may be to over-compensate for the negativity I really have brewing inside me almost constantly. I have been told, kind of recently, that I have an unhealthy trait of worrying about other peoples' happiness and feelings at the expense of my own. It was incomprehensible to me at first but, after reflecting and pondering that that for a month or so, I believe that is probably spot-on. I wonder where that comes from? Perhaps it comes from not wanting to get beaten with a belt when I did something wrong as a child? That must not be the reason as I was beaten nearly every day as a boy but, as I have come to learn as an adult, I may have deserved some slight punishment but the 12 Years a Slave treatment was quite excessive. I think that made me more understanding for things like American slavery and the Holocaust... Everything may have a purpose. I suppose it has, and does, make me who I am and I probably tend to overcompensate by trying to be compassionate and caring. I do not believe one can be too compassionate. I realize we all live in our own thoughts much of the time. Most religions are fear-based too which, though we went to Bible school every week as kids, I never bought most of the mumbo-jumbo. They were fun stories, I suppose, but I think I was like many when I was a yute that I would try to believe just in case it were true. I have long since come to terms that, though many people need that crutch to be decent people or to feel safe, I am just decent because it is in my DNA or psyche to be good and nice and caring. Yes, I am mischievous and naughty and I feel bad about it but, occasionally, people need to see the ugly parts of us to know they cannot be hateful and bullies without repercussions. I am happy to live in a place, at least for now, that we can believe what we want to believe even if it is not the norm; there are many parts of the world that do not have that luxury/freedom without consequences. I will step down from the pulpit now.

Maybe that last paragraph came for my current state of health. I have been sick with some kind of a cold or flu for almost a week now. I came home from work one day and, happily, we got to leave work about 90 minutes early yesterday. I have a cold or a flu or something. Maybe I have cooties?People come to work sick and share it with everybody and then, morons like me, continue that cycle by bringing it back in with us after we have contracted it. Last night I slept with a bag of Ricola cough suppressant drops, a box of tissues (not Kleenex brand as they are usually referred to) and a little pot of tea with lemon and Splenda (the artificial sweetener that may cause who knows what) in it next to the bed. I am still really stuffed-up and my throat is scratchy but I am off from work today because of my "weekend" until Wednesday morning so maybe I will be better by then? I am really glad that I am off the day after/of the stupid Daylight Savings idiocy. We are well beyond the farmers needing more daylight technologically since they could run NORAD from one of their combines these days.

Look Old MacDonald - NO HANDS!!!!

I have to make a, possibly difficult and perhaps futile, phone call later today to try to make several peoples' lives more positive, hopeful and fulfilling. I am not sure if it will be well-received but it is something that I must do before a (probably inevitably) disaster occurs. I know this is vague but, as I have found over the years, if I write it down I will usually follow through with whatever it is even if I write in hieroglyphic terms.

I cannot believe it is already noon (11:00 if it were yesterday). Cha Cha is working on her second Master's Theseus - she is such a hard-worker. She is the daughter and granddaughter... of a family of farmers going way, way back before they had lights and computers attached to their farm equipment and she definitely has the work ethic of a farm family. I am so lucky that she was the first generation of her family to be able to go to college and she wound up at the same college where I was. I thank my lucky stars almost every day that she is part of my life. We went out with our college friend Greg a couple of weeks ago and he commented that we were very rare these days having been together so long. That's why I am glad that Jill is always so busy - she's too distracted to look for a newer, better model.

To the Mattphone!

I guess I will end now and think about getting dressed as it is nearly noon (new time). I also have to make that aforementioned phone call. I hope you have a great shortened Sunday and I will try to blog again tomorrow but I always leave the words "might" or "may" or "possibly.." in there because something always seems to encumber me now and again. I appreciate you stopping by and I do write requests is you have any. TTTT (78%)...MITM (out) TA!