Matt In The Bottom Middle? Or Top Bottom

Where the deer and The Agitator play 

I haven't had Wifi for several days which is why I haven't blogged in awhile. I am in Southern Illinois and the place we are staying is a cabin in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. The cabin is surrounded by  fields. There are only two other cabins within eye-shot (how come there is earshot but not eyeshot?). There was a fawn and it's mother (I cannot say "his" or "her" mother because I am new at being Grizzly Helser and without getting the critter up on the examining table I cannot tell which he/she is). Anyway, they didn't run from me. They just stood there and stared. The fawn did go near mama but they just stood there. I suppose next to Bigfoot I was not very intimidating.

My favorite part so far, other than being with my family and not having to work until Tuesday, has to be the outside Jacuzzi. I realize Jacuzzi is a brand name and I am not certain whether or not is actually a Jacuzzi but it is a hot tub. I have been outside in the hot tub for the last two nights and one morning so far. It is so cool (anti-pun intended) to be out in 20 degree weather in a swimsuit. The steam comes off the water and the lights on the tub change from red to purple to blue to green to yellow... But, at night those lights take a backseat to the millions of stars up above. There are no lights anywhere on the ground and there is no pollution so, other than when we were on the Big Island of Hawaii, they are the most amazing night skies I have ever seen. The crisp air with my frozen hair just add to the light show. I have not seen a shooting star yet but I am confident there will be at least one within the next few days.

Even for Big Foot (or Big Feet) hunters like me

You probably wonder, "how are you blogging now?" Well, I am at Starbucks about 45 minutes away from the cabin. I didn't come here specifically to blog; living like a backwoodsman just makes me be prepared and this worked out this way. I cannot find an electrical outlet so this may end abruptly. Just know that 80% I did not get killed - I just ran out of juice.

I think we are going to record Dirty Laundry Podcast tomorrow during the day from the cabin. It won't be up until Monday or Tuesday but we'll have it in the can (don't need the internet to record - just to edit and upload). If it doesn't come out I was probably killed by a grizzly bear or Mrs. Bigfoot made me her sex slave. If you never hear from me again figure it's the Mrs. Bigfoot one and write my story for me please. I bet she is insatiable. Or, like most females of each species, does not care for that activity anymore. I bet Mr. Bigfoot never compliments her on her hair or brings her flowers anymore.

I am at less than 1/2 a tank of power on the computer so I am going to end now. If this is the last thing you ever hear from me remember. The Other Matt I Knew: Helser The Bigfoot Hunter could be a nice working title for the book you write about me. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and enjoy your weekend. I actually get a weekend on a weekend this week unless Bigfoot kills me before tomorrow. I may have to change my name to Stew if he eats me while I am in the hot tub.

TTT? (temporary Wifi or civilization). Thanks for stopping by. TTT Bigfoot poops me out...MITM (not as Middle as usual) OUT! TA!

Back and to the Left, Back and to the Left

Another day and no closer to knowing what my plans are for Thanksgiving. Additionally, if I don't get to go south for the very long weekend I may be additionally screwed in a sense - monetarily. I cannot go into it too much and, it would probably bore you anyway so, I will stop now. It probably won't be until Saturday night or early Sunday morning until I find out. It's pretty much out of my control so I need to let it go and just accept whatever happens.

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is ready. I haven't heard it yet but my good buddy Greg says it's good. If Greg likes it I will probably listen.

Speaking of the podcast I am so excited to be having the guest we are having in the beginning of December (scroll down and read yesterday's blog). I have somewhat of an obsessive personalty so, I am obsessing about this interview.  Just writing that made me want to read more (research) for that show.

I just took two Benadryls so I had better hurry up here. I actually have no reason to be up until about 21:00 or I would not have taken them - just in case. Even with two Benadryls I will only sleep for about five hours but that is a couple more that I would sleep without them.

Today is the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination. I remember it just like it was yesterday. I was I was about 68 days old so, that was a big time for me. Probably explains why I am so screwed-up huh? Something like that is tough on an infant. I had not even set foot on the soil of America and already I knew that my step-motherland was gonna be challenging. I just heard that there is some sort of questions surrounding the death of JFK. I will have to check that out and get to the bottom of this. I will let you know of my findings.

I was in Dallas a couple of years ago and visited the Texas Schoolbook Depository. I was so surprised to see how small that area was. It made me appreciate what a crazy day that must have been in 1963. I also visited Lee Harvey Oswald's grave. It's very difficult to find. The idea I have for my eventual novel stems from that day and visiting Oswald's grave. We talked about Kennedy a bit on this week's show too. When I get done writing this I am going to fall asleep listening to that show.

Blogging has convinced me that I am extremely tired so I am done. Have a great day. Please pass the blog and the podcast on to your friends. Even pass them along to your enemies - that would make more sense, actually. Thanks for listening and reading and for passing it on to whoever you pass it on to and for whatever reason.TTTT...MITM (back and to the left, back and to the left) TA!

I Found a Sure Way To Stay Cheerful

I just got home from work and, like always, potential bad news. Why is there seldom good news from work? It seems that there is a detail coming up next Friday and Saturday that will require a couple of people to work. It will be overtime but I am supposed to be going out of town with the family to be with Splenda for Thanksgiving. I have approved days off for Wednesday and Saturday but Friday may be a problem. Actually, Saturday may be a problem too because our job is such that if they need us they can make us work. I think that is only in the case of legitimate emergencies but we'll see what happens. I am not sure if that means vacation approvals being rescinded.  If I have to work Saturday that means that I will just stay home and then I may as well work Wednesday, Thanksgiving, Friday and Saturday. If I have to work I may as well milk the overtime. The rest of the gang will just go without me - just like Christmas a couple of years ago. I was like The Fonz eating Spaghetti-O's being cooked in the garage. I will know in about 15 hours whether it's turkey or Chef Boyardee. So, I work crappy hours, get crappy days of the week off as my weekend, work nights and now, may have to work another holiday - I am not sure if the benefits are outweighing the drawbacks anymore.

I have to go to sleep. I walked outside in the cold last night for seven hours (yet another thing fun that happens at my job) and now that I'm in the warm house I am tired. I only do foot patrol twice a week and I like to walk but it's not as much fun when it's 2 degrees outside. I will pause now at 07:16 and resume the blog when I wake up. It will seem like only moments for you. BRB - sort of.

Now it's 11:38 - see how fast time flies when you're reading blog? (that doesn't flow as well as "time flies when you're having fun"does it?)

The Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center

I just received confirmation that we will be having a woman on Dirty Laundry Podcast who was sent to Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp in Poland by the Nazis as a 17-year-old girl. We will be recording the show at The Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center. I am totally humbled that she would be willing to speak with us. We have to work out the details but it looks like we will be talking to her sometime in early December. Just writing that we will be talking to her gives me goosebumps. I cannot even fathom the horror she must have experienced. She's a lot tougher than I am. Now, the way I am, I will be obsessed with this until we talk to her. I guess that is good because it means I am interested and will do a lot of research and do my best to make this a great interview. I have always been interested in this part of history. I think a lot of that comes from being born in Germany. As a kid that is pretty cool - to be born someplace else. I also have never been able to understand any form of: prejudice, racism, genderism, bigotry, sexism... so you can imagine that this is a big deal to me. This was undoubtedly one of the worst cases of all of those, combined, in human history. I also think that maybe some of that interest comes from the fact that The United States of America was a huge part of seeing that horrific chapter of history end. I am making myself nervous now.

We recorded the show last night before I went to work. Right after I get done with this I am going to go down to Kajunkles Studio and begin editing the show. * * I am already doing it - I just broke-off and starting doing research for the interview. I am certain that I have problems * *

Holidays should always be about family and friends

It is now 13:26  so I need to break-off here to get some editing done. I am not editing shows in one sitting anymore. I think that, by doing half of the show and then taking a break and doing the second half the next day, the show is better. When listening back to shows I hear that the production quality of the second halves seemed to dip. There weren't as many drop-ins and sound bytes and I think they are very important to the show. I doubt, however, there will be many sound effects (SFX) on the Holocaust load of Dirty Laundry.

Thanks a lot for stopping by. I hope you have a great rest of your day. I guarantee that I will be having better days for awhile thinking about what our upcoming podcast guest must have endured. Knowing that evil things like that happened and, are probably still happening in the world, make my troubles very trivial. It also makes me appreciate family and friends all that much more. So, going back to the beginning of the blog, I sure hope I can go down south for Thanksgiving. TTTT (probably)... MITM (out) TA!

P.B. (post blog) I just now thought that we will be interviewing a survivor of one of the worst acts of hatred of all time near the date that seemed to be the deciding day that brought the United States of America into World War II. The U.S.'s all-out involvement undoubtedly brought a swifter end to this horror. (December 7, 1941 - Pearl Harbor Day). More goosebumps. Double TA!

Briefcase Full of Blog

Yesterday my part of the MIDDLEwest had some pretty entertaining weather. Remember, entertainment isn't always good. It simply means an activity that holds the interest of an audience. So, today, the small town of Washington, Illinois is the center of the universe for world-wide media. I have lived in Illinois for many. many, many, many, many years and I had never heard of Washington, Illinois until yesterday. Now that the vultures have arrived there to get their sound bytes and video feeds and stories of sadness, pain and tragedy to make a buck and fill their 24-hour news cycle they all, all of a sudden, care about these people that were nothing more than a dollar sign to them yesterday. Well, not nothing, as the people from Washington. IL probably listened and/or watched some of these networks' commercials and maybe purchased some products. I guess they are just about where they were before - they were dollar $ign$ then and they are just larger dollar $ign$ today. I am as guilty as anyone of being about me, me, me but I know that it is wrong. Maybe they know too but I am not so sure about that. we're all a little guilty of that I suppose.

In a bit I am heading to the range to shoot. Maybe that will make me feel better? Can you tell that I am still on the crabby side of okay? I am on the mend though - blog, pod and comedy clubs heal all pain. I kind of miss working in the comedy club sometimes. Maybe we should get a condo in Chicago?

Tonight we will record Dirty Laundry Podcast. I imagine we will talk a lot about our night with Emo Philips. I want to write some about it here but I don't want to double-dip; there enough media whores in my neck of the nape right now. It was a good time but I will whore it up on the podcast later rather than here now. I was, at least, quite a bit less crabby last night (there were margaritas included there too though). That less-crabby feeling and the margaritas, however, have worn-off.

I am listening to a radio station now while I blog and I guess there is a fortune teller, psychic, mystic, medium... in my town now. Ms. Michelle just had a commercial on the radio. She has an office by Arby's. I wonder if she'd like to be on the podcast; you know damn well I am going to ask her. The ad said she does psychic readings for as little as $20. What a shock, now a news story about Washington, IL following Ms. Michelle's commercial. I bet she knew that story was coming. I did - I may be psychic too. I think psychics are pretty cool. I don't really believe that they are psychic but, it is entertaining. I'd pay $20 for her to be on the show and get a psychic reading at the same time. Yesterday we had the entire podcast studio packed into one silver metal briefcase to go see Emo Philips so, we are so mobile now that it would be a broadcast sin not to go to her. I have to add a handcuff to that briefcase for effect. Even though we are that mobile do not expect us to be broadcasting from Washington, IL. Maybe one day we will reach that whore-itide but we are not there just yet.

I am gonna break-off now to go start getting ready for the firing range. I will probably feel a lot better after that (margaritas will NOT be included for this activity). Unless I shoot like crap then I will just be crabby again. Thanks a lot for stopping-in. I hope you were not effected negatively by yesterday's storms. Have a great rest of your day. (hey, another story about Washington, IL on the radio) I will let you know when the podcast is ready - most likely late tomorrow or, more likely, sometime Wednesday. Have a great day. TTTT...MITM (out on the range) TA!

Not Worthy!

I am not crabby anymore. My crabbiness has turned to disillusionment. I am not sure if that is a step up or I will have to pass the crabby stage again to go up. There is some anger wrapped in there too now that I further examine and try to label my feelings. Why can't we be more like dogs? They only have about four feelings it seems. We like to take human feelings and traits and project them onto animals but they don't have the same feelings that humans do. Do you suppose they say the same things about us? They don't have feelings but, I do know they have the power of speech - when we're not watching.

It's my Thursday so, it is getting closer to the weekend. More precisely, it's my Wednesday night (or like my 01:00 or 02:00 on Thursday morning). Why am I awake? The weekend should help me get out of my doldrums. If meeting and talking with Emo Philips doesn't do it I am probably beyond repair. I should be better before that I think. It's weird because it's not even the end of the month. I suppose if my MATTstruation is every 28 days it was only a MATTer of time before it worked it's way into the MIDDLE of the month huh?

I am really not in the mood to blog. That happens sometimes but then, when I start, I begin to blog and then the blog flows or I write about how I don't want to blog or how crabby I am and I work things out. I don't foresee that happening today so I am going to end.

Sorry if I dragged you down but I appreciate you being here. I will blog again when I am more blog-worthy. Right now, I'm not worthy! I am so unworthy that I will include no graphics today.TTT (I am worthy again)... MITM (out) TA!

Dark Side of the Blog!

I am so disillusioned with life right at the moment. Smells like this is going to be a blog with venting undertones doesn't it? Life is so unfair. I am not going to be specific but, I am so tired of seeing people who do not deserve things getting everything they want and the people who deserve things go without. Our whole country (yes, even in the MIDDLEwest) is about whose butt you can kiss and who you know. I know this is no revelation but, I am once again very sick of it. I consider myself a bit of a schmoozer but I have never acquired the taste of ass so, even though I can schmooze with the best of them, I am not willing to drop my dignity. I am a nice person and give everything my all and do what is right most of the time and have always hoped that that would be enough but it is not. That's why I am and, will always be, stuck in the middle. I always think of movies in times like this (they really are the books of the current times so it is not as stupid as it sounds) and one movie line comes to mind. "Why do we fall?  So we can learn to pick ourselves back up." I am tired of getting back up. How about I just quit being so clumsy and stop falling down? Do I stay a nice guy or do I become an a-hole and get my share of what I believe to be mine? I am stupid so I will just stay a nice guy and continue to hang-out here at the crap trough of life. I don't really like many of the people who are not down here with be anyway.

People who know me well know when I am in one of these moods. I usually get very quiet. I am afraid to open my mouth for fear that the steam will set off the fire alarms. I really need to get past this right now.

Sunday Cha Cha and I are going to Zanies Comedy Nite Club in Chicago to see Emo Philips. That will cheer me up though, I hope I am not still in this mood by then or I may be watching the show from a bell tower. Emo has agreed to record some things for Dirty Laundry Podcast. I am pretty excited about that. I have always found him funny. Weird Al Yankovic calls him "the funniest man on the planet." Jay Leno (who I cannot stand) says Emo is "the best joke writer in America." Leno's stand-up was pretty funny before he turned into one of those people I was discussing in that opening paragraph there. If you're not doing anything Sunday and you're in my neck of the MIDDLEwest come out and see Emo Philips. Anyway, he told me that he is "not much of a podcast comic but (he'll) be happy to record some promos" for us. That's far more that I had expected so, I am delighted. I am sure they will be awesome considering he is the funniest man on the planet and the best joke writer in America. It will be unusual to have some actual humor on the show for a change. Maybe he'll see how charming and nice we are and change his mind and speak more for the show? I am not going to ask (see paragraph 1) but, if he offers, I will be ready.

By the way, the new Dirty Laundry Podcast was uploaded last night. We talk a bit about Emo there but, that was before he agreed to see us in "the green room." I worked at Zanies for several years and we had many very big stars there so, I am not too star-struck. I just appreciate humor and Emo has been doing it for about four decades and he has always cracked me up.

Writing and thinking about Emo and his jokes has slightly lifted me from my doldrums. Just slightly though.

Weird that I just found a story about another of my favorite comics of all time. I will talk about it next week on the show. If I can wait that long.

I am going back on the weight-loss bandwagon. At one point I lost 84 pounds but, I have gained about 40 of that back. It's ironic that when I was out of work for awhile is when I lost the weight. You would kind of think that there would have been depression or something that would have made me want to just eat all of the time but it worked the opposite for me. I guess I considered it my job to lose weight. The term Matt Fat and Happy had to come from somewhere I suppose. Maybe when people are happy they are okay being fat? I was never really okay with it but it bothered me more when I felt less productive to society. Now, I am just remembering how much better I felt about myself 40 pounds ago and want to get back there with interest. I know how to do it so, now I just have to do it. I am on day two and I have had lots of apples and carrots and some turkey breast meat. I write it here so I can look back and remember when I started again. By the by - this has NOTHING to do with my attitude from the, now famous, paragraph one.

Do you listen to any other podcasts that you can recommend? I want to start listening to more podcasts and iTunes has so many that I would rather have suggestions than keep shooing in the dark. Almost all of them are free and if they suck I can just stop listening and delete them but, I'd rather have a bunch that I enjoy.

I have a bunch to do so I am going to beg-off. Thanks a lot for letting me lie on your couch for a bit - it's been quite awhile since my last blog therapy session. I really appreciate you listening to the podcast and reading the blog. You are a big part of the reason that I am not an alcoholic. TTTT...MITM (doldrumming out) TA!

The Mario Mendoza of Blogs!

A HUGE part of baseball history

Yesterday I went bowling for the first time in about twenty-something years. I was not really looking forward to it because, like golf, I am pretty sure that I am already as good at it as I will ever be. I am not terrible either but, I am at the very best, on the bottom rung of being good and, that rung has a crack in it. I am at The Mendoza Line I guess (if you know baseball that makes sense to you). Yesterday's bowling, like whenever I have ever done it, was more about being with the people than the sport. I liked the people I was with. Golf has pretty much always been that way for me too. Maybe that's why I am just okay at both. I am competitive by nature, which is probably one of my greatest character flaws among several, but I know it and try to keep it in-check. I think I did pretty well with that yesterday. I was worried that I would not even break 100 but I got a 142 and, I think, 137. This was Fabio's first time bowling since he was about 5 so, he hadn't bowled in 11 years or so. I know that is less than me but, that was 75% of his life while mine was only about 40% of mine.

After I posted that photo of Mario Mendoza I thought how cool it would be to have him on Dirty Laundry Podcast. From everything I can ascertain he is somewhere in Mexico. If you know Mario Mendoza have him get in touch with me. I am a huge fan of his legacy.

Fabio was commenting today on how bad he bowled. It didn't bother him because he never bowls and doesn't really like it. He has played baseball, football, tennis and basketball but, doesn't really care much for bowling. I mentioned to him that maybe, because of his height, it is more difficult for him than it is for 5'9" twerps like me. The second game we bowled they put the four bowlers with the highest scores on one lane/alley and the four lowest scoring bowlers on the other. Fabio further proved my thought by pointed-out to me that the four lowest scores from the first game were the tallest four people. Coincidence? I don't think so. The law firm of Helser & Helser rests its case your honor! Incidentally, I was right at the Mendoza Line as far as height goes. Matt in the Mendoza!

Today is Veteran's Day in the U.S. and A. Our schools in town are closed because we appreciate our women, men and animals who keep us safe but I took Fabio today to get his sports physical (last year's expires next month) and noticed there were quite a few schools that were open today. Commies! Is that even a thing anymore? Commies? I have several friends that are veterans and I am thankful for them all. I should be a veteran too but, after I was sworn in, I got my big toe chopped off working at my high school job and, they didn't want me anymore. They probably had me slated for the Army Bowling Team and knew this would always keep me as a sub-200 bowler! I was slated to go to Ft. McClellan, Alabama after high school to be a military police officer. I wonder how different my life would have been. I am happy it turned-out the way it did. Funny though because I am working somewhere similar to where I would have worked had that lane stayed open. There are many things that are in my life now that I would have given all my toes to have so I am pretty lucky for that M.I.A. toe!

I have to get another load of laundry going. We also have to get the other kind of laundry recorded today. I can get some prep done while my co-host is working (COMMIE!). Not to rub it in but this is my Sunday. Thanks a lot for stopping in and for your service if you are a veteran or any other form of public servant. For that MATTer most all of us provide a service to people somewhere in society so thank you to you too wherever you are in the world. TTTT (when the next podcast will probably be ready)...MITM (out).

I just caught our dog chewing on glass - he must have been Audie Murphy in a former life. TA!

Is it Keister or Keester or Kiester?

Today is the anniversary of Jack The Ripper's final known murder. I find it fascinating that there are only five murders that have been confirmed to his/hers yet he/she is the most famous serial killer of all time. Mary Kelly is also the only victim that many of us know by name. She was found dead on this day 188 years ago. She was discovered "mutilated beyond all recognition" which is probably why there has always been even more intrigue about her murder. And, why was she the last? Was she the last? Did "The Ripper" come to America? Did he get pinched for something else? Did he die? Did he retire? If you listened to this most recent load of Dirty Laundry Podcast you heard how I remember my early fascination with Charles Manson. I know I am not alone with my curios with these loons but my fascination is more a curiosity of why so many, including myself, are fascinated with these types of people. Can you imagine what things would have been like if there had been all the social media then that we have today?

It's 13:00 (actually 12:57) and I am still in my pajamas. I should still be asleep which would make for my attire more appropriate but I will be again before I head-in to work for my Friday. Last night was soooooo much slower than last week at work.It was steady but not crazy. Right now I am living for Thanksgiving week. Provided I get my days-off approved I will be off Wednesday - Monday that week. Two of those days are my regular days off (Sunday and Monday) and two days I get holiday pay for (Thursday and Friday). So, I really will only use one vacation day and one comp. day (worked a holiday and banked the hours as comp. time to be used as a day off later). It's kind of nice working for the State of Illinois when it comes to holiday pay. I am even more proud to work for a state that finally will recognize same-sex marriage. I know many people have different views about that than I do but they are wrong and I am right. There is nothing anyone can say on this topic that would change my mind so, if you have differing thoughts on this, keep them to yourself when I am around.
While I was out in the backyard playing with Jeff (he's our dog if you are not hip) I was wearing my pajamas. Our backyard is fairly hidden by trees and fence but I am sure people see me and I don't care. I am the Hugh Hefner of Devonaire Farms. I should start calling my p.j.'s a smoking jacket and walk around with a bubble pipe. Hef's lifestyle seems a little more plush than mine but I have to start somewhere. I am 100% positive that I will not be allowed to wear my jammers to work no MATTer how cool I think I am.

I cannot believe we record the podcast again tomorrow. It seems like we just did that. Maybe it is because we record one day and then I edit the show and then I listen to it a few times... And, when I am not working on the show physically I am trying to develop topics for the next show. I am thinking this has turned the corner to obsession.  At the cross-steer of awesome!

I think we are going to get groceries. Why in the Hell are we doing that on a Saturday? We will probably go to Target because that seems to be where we do most of our grocery shopping these days. We also have to return the movie to the antique store (inside joke for podcast listeners - listening has it's advantages).

Headed to the store now. We are going to Hy-Vee if you are keeping score at home. They have a good wine department and Cha Cha wants to get ham salad. They don't have a deli or a bakery at Target. Have a great weekend, if this is your weekend. I will probably blog again Monday while I am working on the show. Thanks a lot for parking your kiester here for awhile. I am not sure if that is the proper spelling of kiester but it sounds German and that's the way you would spell it in German. Get your letters in for the podcast - we have lots of time to fill. TTTNW? (next week)... MITM (getting out of his Hef's) TA!

Can You Drink and Blog?

I think I was off of Facebook for an about 24 hours straight. I was delighted to know that I did not miss it. I guess that means I am not addicted. I cannot say the same for all forms of electronic technology bun I am not Jonesin' for Facebook..

Yesterday was my dad's 75th birthday. I won't say much more about it since I blogged about us taking he and my mom out for his special day on Sunday a couple of days ago. My brother put a photo of my dad from when he was in the U.S. Army on The Facebook yesterday. I, of course, did not see it until right now because I wasn't on The Facebook back then. The photo was probably taken just before I was born and he and my mom went to Germany to bring back the best souvenir in the history of souvenirs.

It listened to the new load Dirty Laundry Podcast last night. I pretty much know what the show sounds like in bits and pieces from recording and editing but it isn't until I hear the show in it's entirety that I know whether it's good or not. Thankfully out of our 133 shows I can only think of a couple that I thought were a stroke or two above par. Above par is bad in case you are not familiar with the game of golf. Where else is something that is below average good? I have never really thought about it that way until I typed it right there. I learn so much from writing this blog.

I just noticed that I am way behind on Words With Friends too. Why do we do stuff like Facebook and Words With Friends? Don't we have enough to do just living our lives? I need to entertain myself 24 hours per day. Okay, I am caught up on Words With Friends now. How do I have so many games of that going with so many different people?

Last night really wore me out. I walked about 12 miles last night in the cold. It was a nice clear night and I was dressed pretty warmly so it wasn't that bad but I am tired and my feet ache a little bit. I don't have to walk out in the cold again until Tuesday so I should recover by then. Sunday it sounds like I am going bowling. I didn't agree ahead of time but I will have fun. I have not bowled in a long time. I used to be pretty good. I was in a bunch of different leagues over the years. I love sports where you can drink while you are "performing." Bowling is cool but golf is even better. In golf they give you keys to one of their vehicles and send you out around of bunch of lakes and then drive up to you and offer you alcohol. Is this a great sport or what? Not to mention that you are hitting little balls that are like little frozen snowballs (ice balls) toward other people. Sometimes there are even strippers or worse better. Maybe if I had walked more rather than driven a cart my feet wouldn't hurt so much from walking last night. But, where would I have put my drink and cigar? (in golf not last night)

I am probably going to sleep for two or three hours before I head to work tonight. Last night I tried that but I just laid there for two hours and then slept for maybe one. Good thing I walked constantly and it was cold. I think I am going to end this now so I can try to sleep because I will be sitting and in the warmth most of the night tonight.

Thanks a lot for continuing to listen to the podcast so we can continue to do it. We could and probably would continue because we like doing it but you help to motivate us to continue and to keep trying to make the show fun and better all of the time. Thank You!. I am not sure if I will blog tomorrow but I will try. Have a great night. TTT?...MITM (out). TA!

Happiness Is A Warm Butt(s)!

I know dogs are pretty smart even though we call them dumb dogs sometimes. Jeff is our Border Collie and we have been told by many dog people and have read everywhere that his breed is one of the smartest in the dog world. Maybe it's because he is only still a puppy but if he is one of the smartest I now know why the dogs are still our slaves and a main source of our entertainment without driving privileges. He was just trying to sneak up on his own tail. The tail seemed to know when he was coming because it always got out of the way just before it got bitten. Isn't there a saying about feeling like a dog chasing his tail? Maybe "every dog has his day" is the day that he finally catches his tail. That's why it's such a special day - apparently it's much more difficult than it appears.

Last night I spent about seven hours in the chilly rain. Sometimes it rained hard but most of the time it was like the rain forest would feel like I imagine. IF it was cold in the rain forest - which it is not. Supposedly, you can't really get sick just by being out in the cold and/or rain. Many say you can only get sick by being around someone who is sick. I think this is a lie parents told kids to get them to go outside to get them out of their hair. Little did they know that when the kids got sick they would be in their hair with interest (puking, sneezing, whining, coughing...). I feel a little stuffed-up today but I am not ready to tie one to the other just yet. I seem to have allergies as I have gotten older so I will say I am just allergic to being in the cold rain all night long.

I just saw a commercial that had a website curepc.com. I know the commercial was about pancreatic cancer but I would have chosen a different web address. PC is "politically correct" and I thought that was a good thing. Maybe curepancan.com or something like that. We don't want to cure politically correctness. Why is it POLITICALLY correct anyway? What seems to be correct in politics doesn't seem to be the same correctness we non-politicians live by. If we shared the same correctness (the one that most of us try to live by) politics in the world would not be in the mess that it/they is/are. Who came up with that stupid term? Probably a politician that wanted to start their own set of rules - like the mayor of Toronto.

Is that Cha Cha's grandpa behind Clint Eastwood?

I got the new Dirty Laundry Podcast edited and uploaded yesterday. It's funny that when I listen to the show while I am editing it I always wonder if it is any good. But, most of the time, when I get done and listen I am happy to find that the show is good. I think that is the same for someone writing a song. You hear it so much and before it is finished that it's hard to appreciate it for what it is until you divorce yourself from it for a bit and then listen later. I guess it's all that "you are your own worst critic" thing.

I am watching Escape From Alcatraz (background noise really). I think I may have seen this in the theater back in 1979. I always get a kick out of one of the names of the guys that plan to escape from "the rock" with Clint Eastwood (Frank Morris). The guy's name is Charlie Butts. Cha Cha's maiden name is Butts and her grandpa's name was Charlie Butts. Her dad's name was also Charles Butts but he went by Jerry (Charles Gerald Butts). Probably because his dad's name was the same and it made for less confusion on the farm. Who wants to be know as Junior or J.R.? Anyway, every time I watch this I think, "was Cha Cha's grandpa in Alcatraz? Was her dad? Was it a relative?" The actual Alcatraz escape occurred in 1962 and since Cha Cha's brother was born in 1962 it is highly unlikely that it was her dad though, not impossible. It would be more likely that it was her Grandpa or another relative with the same first name. But, then, I look again and am reminded that of the three men that actually escaped from Alcatraz none of them was really named Charlie Butts. The real three men that left Alcatraz (and nobody knows how successful they really were) were: Frank Morris, Clarence Anglin and John Anglin. Charlie Butts was a made-up character. In the film Charlie doesn't get out of the prison because he didn't try to get out of his hole earlier (preparation and practice are everything). Charlie Butts was actually based on an inmate named Allen West (I have no idea why they changed the name other than they may not have wanted to get sued by West). He was the one who told the prison officials what the actual plan to get out was, probably as part of a plea bargain. I wonder if he's still alive? He'd be cool to have on the podcast.

Have a great night. I won't be outside tonight so the rain is probably over. I will be outside again tomorrow night so I bet the rain will be back mainly on the plain tomorrow night. Thanks for being here and for listening to the podcast. If you have any suggestions for either please let me know - always open to thoughts. TTTT...MITM (Seacrest)

OH yeah that reminds me for some reason - way to go my MIDDLEwest state of Illinois for becoming the 15th state that will allow same-gender marriage. I wish we could have been #1 but I am proud we are still in the top 15. I just want everyone to be happy (yes, that is a colorful link). I am not sure if marriage is the answer to that wish for everyone but I know it is for many. I say when you find one that says "yes" why experience rejection anymore after that?  CONGRATS! TA again.

END THE RED SQUIGGLE!!!!

Yesterday we went over and spent the day with my mom and dad. We went over for my dad's 75th birthday. He is pretty spry and I guess those genes are where I get the "really, you don't look that old" from people all the time from. Before we went out to eat Fabio, my dad and I went up on his garage roof and repaired a leak he had in the roof. He just had his second knee replaced a couple of months and he had no problem getting up on the roof with us but doubt he would have had an easy time with being down on his two titanium knees with us. I don't think he had ever seen anybody get sung to by the waitstaff on their birthday before. He actually looked a little shocked and touched.

Today I am going shooting. I haven't been to a range in a long time and I am really looking forward to it. I am going with my buddy Rich from work. I cannot think of a better way to spend my one full day off a week. Actually, I can think of quite a few better ways to spend my day off but this will be a lot of fun. This is probably the 17th best way to spend my day off. I wonder what kind of targets they have these days. I heard that they have zombie targets but I may just go with the standard target. My day also will consist of driving to the Elburn train station at 06:00 for a drop-off and back again for a pick-up sometime between 16:00 and 17:30.

Work this past weekend was crazy busy. I love being crazy busy at work. The busier I am the faster time goes by and the more I feel I am helping people.And with working an extra hour during the stupid end of Daylight Savings Time a faster day (night) as very welcome. I live to serve.

I am so tired of stupidity. I am sure people say that occasionally when they are around me and, for that, I apologize. There doesn't seem like there is any end of it in our world though. There is so much stupidity and selfishness and ignorance in the MIDDLEtown I live in and most of it I cannot talk about. I know a lot more about many things than most people know and I cannot share most of it with anybody. (I hope that makes sense) A person who writes a blog (this one) and records a weekly podcast that is heard world-wide (Dirty Laundry Podcast) has a difficult time not sharing. It demonstrates to me that I have great willpower. I should use that willpower for many other aspects of my life.

Sometimes they don't even know they're stupid!

With having most parts of Sundays off I would have thought that I would have watched a lot of football this year. I have not watched one entire NFL game this season. I have watched bits and pieces here and there but not an entire game. I have watched several games on Saturdays but those have all been college games. I never used to be much of a college football fan but those games are much more exciting than NFL games. On top of that there are far fewer commercials and commentator bologna.

Some things I really hate about getting older. I cannot remember hardly anything anymore. I have always had a great memory. I would win trivia contests all the time because I could remember the most mundane facts. Now I cannot remember the idea I had to blog about that was in my head four minutes ago. Do you suppose my mind is full of all of those mundane things and I need to purge my files to make room for things that are important now? Humans need some sort of back-up system. If I could come up with a Dropbox for the human brain I would be a bazillionaire. Not only that but, I could put in my Dropbox that I am a bazillionaire so I could remember that I have a bazillion dollars. There must not really be any bazillionaires in the world because Spell-check recognized the word "bazillion" but the word "bazillionaire" has that little red line under it. I could be the first one and then remember it on by Dropbox. I could end the red squiggle.

The way he looks in about every military flick

I think Tom Sizemore is in every military film made after 1999. I love him as an actor but I lost a lot of respect for him several years back when I saw him on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab. I give him credit for trying to get clean but I wonder how much those celebs got paid to be on that show to air their Dirty Laundry. You hear a lot about how much stress there is in being a celebrity. BULL LOGNA (I stopped myself just short). I cannot imagine the stress of having enough money to not worry about anything. And, on top of that, not needing money because people want to give you free stuff all of the time. I can divorce myself from actors' private lives and I love him in film. Maybe he has cleaned himself up by now and I hope he has. Moral of the story - if you're a celebrity don't let us in on your personal life. I am watching Saving Private Ryan right now which is why that this paragraph crept into my kitchen. This is easily in my top five of military flicks. Number one is Band of Brothers. Saving Private Ryan is probably #2 (not poop but the number in the top five).

Okay, I have to get rolling. Have a great day even though this is the start of your week. This is my only full day off so I am gonna get some other exciting things done too like: laundry (both kinds), shopping, pay bills... I may even take a nap just for the halibut. Thanks for rolling on by and make sure to listen to the show if you haven't yet. The new one should be up in the next day or two. TTTT...MITM (uh, what was I gonna say here again? Oh yeah, OUT) TA!

I'm Your Number One Blog!

Today is the last day of daylight savings. Daylight Savings Time ends tomorrow night. I know I talk about how this is stupid every time the clock goes back or forward but I will not mention how useless this tradition is now. Tomorrow night my eight hour shift will last nine hours. That's one of the crappy things about working through the night. However, I do get one hour of overtime for that extra hour (everything over 7.5 hours per day is time-and-a-half). This year, however, I am off the next day so I like this year better.

I am pretty tired right now. I am not sure it is from that last paragraph or from not getting enough sleep. I am guessing the latter. I am tired most of the time. Tonight and tomorrow night will seem much longer than they are anyway so one of them may as well be longer so I can get more scratch. It's Halloween weekend in a college town - do you think it;s gonna be boring. I already KNOW the answer to that question from previous experience. It will not be boring and, even though there is an extra hour hidden in there, time will fly by.

I often wonder why time became so important to us. Everything is about time. Ha, "it's about time." Time is probably to blame for most stress in the world.

Did you hear that some dude just walked into Stephen King's home in Maine? Many questions - why walk into King's home right before Halloween? Why can you just walk into Stephen King's home? No security? No door locks? It sounds like my house is harder to get into than a millionaire world-wide celebrity's home? That's ridiculous. Maybe Bangor, Maine is more trusting than the MIDDLE of the U.S. and A.. Didn't King read Misery? I have to check who wrote that book about Blake Sheldon - a horror novelist that got in accident and then dragged into a house and held hostage by a loon. Oh, it was written by a fellow named Stephen King - that's odd and quite coincidental. I wonder if any other mainstream news agencies will make this connection. If they don't I will have to talk about that on Sunday when we record the next awesome load of Dirty Laundry Podcast. Now that I blogged about it, though, it will be all over the mainstream press. Why can't I just keep my big blog shut? Why do I know Blake Sheldon's name? I loved that movie and have seen Misery man times. Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe it's because I have had many ankle injuries in my day and that was one of the most disturbing motion picture scenes for me ever! You know what scene I mean and, if you don't, I have to question your movie choices. How could anybody do such a thing to Sonny Corleone Piccolo?

I am going to catch some zzzzzzzz's. I think I will lock the bedroom door so no unfortunate sledge hammer incidents occur while I slumber. Not sure if I will blog tomorrow or not. I may want to get the extra sleep to make up for the hour I am gonna lose. Maybe that extra hour I sleep will feel like two? Maybe I use the word "maybe" too much- just Maybe. I also notice that when I speak I start a lot of sentences with the word "well." Sometimes having a world-sensation podcast really makes one learn things about himself. Have a great rest of your day and night. Thanks for spending a few moments inside of my feebleness. TTTWIBY (ta ta til when I blog ya)... MITM (ghost) TA!