It's Friday, I'm In Love!

"Matt be nimble Matt be quick."

It's Friday, I'm in love! Even though it's only my Friday (not only mine but I know I am in the minority in America). Tomorrow is really going to Saturday because we are loadin' up the family truckster and heading to the big city tomorrow. We're going to Chicago for the day. I love Chicago. I guess I should say I love living close to Chicago but I don't think I would like living there. Maybe I would but it's a lot more expensive and I like to be under the gaydar; too many people too close seems too intrusive to me and how could I be so eccentric if people were giving me crap about being so weird all the time?

I think we may actually record the podcast in Chicago. We have never really recorded the show on location before. We have recorded segments on the go but never the entire podcast. I don't what to expect but I am sure something will come of it. I can honestly say that I have learned at least one new thing every time we have recorded a show and this will be the same. If you're in the city and want to be on the show tomorrow let me know.

I have watched The Olympics off-and-on and have noticed that the audiences tend to be a bit sparse old chaps. I have not been the only one who has noticed as I have heard it off-and-on on the news. Maybe The Olympics aren't as big a deal as they used to be when we didn't have ESPN 8: The Ocho. I think the 24-hour news cycle and the 24-hour sports cycle have made it so The Olympics aren't that big a deal anymore. I am a huge sports fan and I was there when ESPN launched and I loved it; I still watch it a couple of times a week. Goodness knows I am one of those people who drive things into the ground when I like them (ironic isn't it?). I could list probably over 1,000 things I did ad nauseam over time so I consider myself a bit of an ad nauseam expert. I was also a Radio-Television major in college (mass media) as well as being world-renown podcaster and blogger so I  am pretty much a big deal in the media ad nauseum arena and we are a country who takes everything to the extreme. I am too lazy to find out what the controversy over the empty seats is saying but I imagine that the tickets are too expensive, you can't resell the tickets, I am not the only person that thinks "beach volleyball" should be played on a beach and not in a sandbox in a stadium, people are too busy eating fish and chips or tea and crumpets... I bet when Team USA plays basketball the seats will be full. Some of the sports are boring or difficult to watch live. If Chicago had won The Olympics bid I doubt that I would have wanted to go to battle the crowds and the security and the crime that follows such an event. At least Kate, Duchess of Cambridge was there. Why can't she just be called Princess Kate?

I am going to have to take a blogging break. I am going to drive Fabio and his buddy Adam to see Dark Knight Rises. Yes, it's the same movie that he and I saw and I talked about for quite a bit on Dirty Laundry Podcast but I guess he liked it and wants to see it again. It won't be as good as the first time as this one will not be in IMATT. Go ahead and get something to drink and eat and go to the bathroom and talk amongst yourselves and I will be back quicker than you can say Jack Robinson. What the hell does that mean? Does that refer to Jackie Robinson? I think I am going to start saying, "...quicker than you can say Jackie Robinson." People will look at me like I'm an idiot but you would be surprised how comfortable I am with people looking at me that way. Maybe you wouldn't be surprised with that but it is A LOT!

When I get back I am also going to download Lindsay Buckingham's Holiday Road onto Roz. Those Vacation references have gotten that song stuck in my head. He has some pretty good songs - even if you don't count the ones with Fleetwood Mac.

Did you miss me?

I just should have wrapped-up when I left because now the flow has stopped. Like there really was any flow. I feel like I have to leave you with one more thing but what?

I know...some advise. If you like Red Lobster either go there before they are all gone or just make peace with the fact that they will out-of-business soon and move on. That also goes for Olive Garden. They are in financial trouble along with Longhorn Steakhouse. Parent company, Darden Restaurants. They may just have a bad 2013 but the tough American economy is making these restaurants becoming too expensive to take a family to. The good thing is that you probably won't need a reservation or wait very long if you go.

I am going to wrap-up now and eat my $5.00 footlong from Subway and not think about Michael Phelps...damn, too late. What do you suppose you can get for $5 at Olive Garden or Red Lobster? Breadsticks and cheddar cheese rolls or whatever they are called? I am not sure if I will be able to blog tomorrow with going to Chicago and recording the podcast but I will try (probably not very hard though. TTT the podcast....MITM (country mouse heading to rub whiskers with the city mice) TA!

Prejudice Knows No Bounds!

I am either getting sick, very tired or dying. Of the three I think I would prefer sick the least. Maybe I am sick and tired of dying. I guarantee I am dying; once we are born that's actually what we are doing every moment we are alive isn't it? Dying!

Unless you have a cool car!

Michael Phelps got fourth place? I heard it on the radio. I heard the story not the event. How boring would swimming be on the radio? Not much more boring than watching it on television or in person I suppose. Is he gonna lose his Subway advertisements to Ryan Lochte who beat him and won the gold medal or to Peter Vanderkaay who already won a silver and a bronze in this year's Olympics? I know there are more events so maybe he will redeem himself to Jerrod. What do Olympic swimmers do after the Olympics? Life Guards? Swim Instructors? Synchronized shows in Las Vegas? Does synchronized swimming even still exist? Also, it still pisses me off that they have "beach volleyball" when it's actually played in some stadium and is clearly not a beach. It's sand volleyball! The Olympic Committee takes us for a bunch of morons. Or is it just the British?  

Last night we went to Aquaviva for dinner. I don't know if you remember the last time I went there with Cha Cha and MADYM and they ran out of bloody mary mix after I had one drink and I was the only one in the entire place drinking them? This time was even worse than last time and Cha Cha and I have agreed that we will never go back here. Time heals all wounds and never is a very long time so we we'll see how that goes.  I had to work afterword so I just drank Diet Pepsi which made me discover that they use well water for their ice cubes and their water tastes like ass. I have tasted ass when I was the last sled dog in the 1987 Iditarod and it is not delicious. The service was poor and I felt that a shuffle board match or a bingo game was gonna break-out any minute. Fabio and I met Cha Cha and Splenda there because they were coming back from IKEA so we had two cars. We drove up to the mandatory valet parking and gave them our keys. If you didn't read my blog the last time we went there I mentioned that they do the valet parking so they can park the cars by the road so they look busier than they are. I know this is true but they do something else that I did not consider - they practice auto-profiling. When we came out of the restaurant we noticed that all of the cars near the road were all of the nicest and trendiest cars. The Fiat made the cut at the $1.98 Little Miss Sunshine Automobile Beauty Contest as it was parked right up front. I had to wait for my 2004 Toyota 4-Runner to be brought around from the back of the bus restaurant. The 4-Runner still looks good but it didn't make the cut. I need to YELP about it again. The last time I YELPED about it was two years ago when they were real new. They are bust now, probably because I YELPED them with four stars but they are nowhere near four now.

I am done blogging for today because I had a lot more typed and then the computer erased stuff while I was looking at it. I have to figure out the ghost in this machine. My life is a hidden camera show and I am constantly the prey.


Have a great day and maybe I will blog again sometime . TTT??????...MITM (pissed - the mad kind not the drunk kind) TA!

Complaint Department is now Open

London Bridge is NOT falling down like they said

Happy Humpday (or probably Saturday to you). I just woke up and am watching Korea and against US of America in women's volleyball. It's funny how we call our country "land of the free" and "the free world" but we can only watch the Olympics on NBC when they decide we can so they can show us commercials. If you are in America try to watch the Olympics on the BBC on-line. They block it from us in America so we have to watch it on commercial television. I am sure there are ways around it but they don't make it easy to exercise our freedoms. I suppose that is what they mean by "freedom has its price."

Do you have a laptop? Why when I am typing on the laptop sometimes and I stop does the cursor move to somewhere else and I begin typing in the MIDDLE of another paragraph or sentence? Cha Cha says that it's because you hit something that moves it. She says that it doesn't seem like it but that is what happens. I try vary hard to make sure that nothing touches the keyboard while I am typing the blog but it still happens; it is very irritating.

Nicole Davis, #6 on Team USA, has one of the best tattoos that I have ever seen. I am not a fan of tattoos but this one is pretty cool for her. She has the Olympic rings on her nape. Some people call it the nape of the neck but isn't nape sufficient? It's like calling that taint the taint of the crotch (or some other unsavory word). She has it in all black instead of in the five colors.

I cannot believe I am going to miss Baconpalooza (see yesterday's blog). I have never been much of a bacon fan so I guess I can believe it. Also, I am a pescatarian again, ever since I got back from Texas, so there's two reasons. That makes me think...I went downtown yesterday to pick-up my watch that I had dropped off at Wright Jewelers Wednesday. I had taken it in because it was "sweating." When I would wear it outside in the heat/humidity, which was just about every night, the inside would build up condensation. It is a nice watch and Cha Cha had given it to me for one of our 24 anniversaries and I am a pretty sentimental person so it means a lot to me. I took it in and the lady there, "Old Lady Wright" I will call her, said he husband was off that day but would look at it and I could come back on Friday to pick it up. When I picked it up "Old Lady Wright" was in the store cutting the cheese, really cutting cheese and sausage not the funnier version of cutting the cheese, and talking to some other lady - presumably a customer. She got the watch and said her husband, "took the back off and let it dry out." I asked if he had found a bad seal or something and she said, "I am not sure but if he had I am sure he would have told me." I then told her in a sarcastic voice, like I do when I feel people deserve sarcasm (I was on the 1980 and 1984 USA Sarcasm Teams - "Miracle on Voice"), "I could have just let it dry out." She then she told me that he had replaced the battery and that would be $7. How do you tell when a watch battery is going bad if it is working fine? I paid the $7 and will never go back to that store again and I will blog about how they suck (that is what this is). You have lost a customer for $7 and for cutting the cheese. I have gone here a couple of times and always felt like their service skills stunk but I gave them a couple of chances and it's time to move-on. I should have known when I saw their little display last time on the glass counter front-and-center. It is a bronzed hand grenade that says "complaint compartment" and tells you to pull a number. I thought it was funny when I first saw it but now I realize it wasn't a joke. D & D Jewelers in Sycamore this serves as notice that you are on-deck and I am coming to you next time. I had bought Cha Cha a couple of rings there and they are nice so I will drive the extra miles to make them my jeweler. I never thought that I would have a jeweler...."I gotta a guy."

I guess I do need to be knocked on the head

One of the best players on Team USA's women's volleyball team is named Destiny Hooker. If your last name was hooker would you name your daughter Destiny? I think I would have named her Tulip Jean and just called her T.J. Hooker.

I gotta get showered. Cha Cha and Splenda went to IKEA and when they get back I think we are going to Aquaviva for dinner. I wish I didn't have to work later so I could have a Bloody Mary or seven. Have a nice Saturnight and thank you for stopping in. I will probably blog again tomorrow (not a pinkie swear though). I am really enjoying blogging again. I think I just had to slow-down for awhile; who knew you could get burnt-out from blogging. If you haven't already - please listen to this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast before I get burnt-out of that too (it's only once a week so I doubt that will happen). TTTT....MITM (wishing you an excellent jump/float serve) TA!

Baconpalooza? You Had Me at Bacon Bra!

Maybe I should reconsider bacon

I am in a horse-crap mood so what better therapy than to blog? Whenever I am in a bad mood I think what time of the month is it? 9 1/2 times out of 10 it's the end of the month and it is my Mattstruation or Manstruation time of the month (both of those words are patent pending/trademarked/copy-written).


When did bacon make such a huge comeback in popularity? I mentioned the bacon sundae at Burger King on this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast and when I took my watch to the jewelers the other day because it is sweating on the inside because of the humidity I found out that it is Baconpalooza in our town this Saturday as part of Kishwaukee Fest (the one where the podcast was in the parade last year). You can go around to the various businesses downtown and get some booze and bacon, swine and wine, port and pork, pig and swig... I really should copyright some of those names. One of the bars, O' Leary's, is serving some bacon cocktails like: The Bacon Mary, Hawaiian Luau, Irish Boar and The Pizza Shot. Most of these drinks use bacon vodka. I didn't even know they had bacon vodka. I think this must be sponsored by the AMA (American Medical Association) or The American Heart Association or something. I really don't care for O' Leary's but I did see a porn star (T.J. Hart) there once speaking of pork.


I guess The Olympics started today or last night or sometime in England last night. We won't get to see them until tonight in America. I probably won't watch much of The Olympics mainly because of scheduling conflicts. I will root for America though. Go America!!


I am pretty sure I am going to go to the premier of Carl Panzram: The Spirit of Hatred and Vegence. I will have to take a day off of work but how often does one get to go to premier? Even cooler is that Dirty Laundry Podcast is going to be listed in the closing credits. It also happens to be Cha Cha's birthday that day and we could go the Chicago early and grab a birthday lunch or something. I have been on the fence about going but it seems like several of our past podcast guests will be there and maybe some celebrities we can rub microphones with? If you want to listen to our podcast with filmmaker John Borowski check out John Borowski's website. You can also find out there how you can go to his latest movie's Chicago premier too and rub elbows with Cha Cha on her birthday. I love John's films and know I will love this one too.


Writing today's blog has made me less crabby so, thank you for being here and decrabifying me. I am tired now and think I am going to hit the rack. I hope you have a great Friday because you have earned it. I may blog again tomorrow because I am pretty sure I will be crabby again tomorrow morning and I may need your help again to not be a Crabby Matty. TTT?...MITM (crabbed out)! Ta! 

Pods They Are a Changin'?

It's Monday again in Matt In The Middleland but almost the weekend in your land. Yesterday was an expensive day. I registered Fabio for school for the upcoming year with sports and lab fees plus the class he took for summer school ($486.00), two cars needed stickers renewed ($198.00), boat storage ($400.00), groceries ($90.00), recording Dirty Laundry Podcast (priceless). Why is life so expensive? Come to think of it, death is expensive too. I am proud that Fabio voluntarily takes an extra class every summer (as well as basketball camp which isn't quite a voluntarily) but it's a pain all summer getting him up... and it makes doing summer vacation-type things difficult but between the two classes he has already taken and Driver's Education through an outside company he is already three classes ahead in school and he is only entering his sophomore year; he may actually get out of high school a semester early at this rate.

If you listen to the podcast you will remember that we had a programmer from an internet radio network approach us a couple of months ago about joining their network of shows. I expressed interest and we were gonna "do lunch" but it ended there for awhile.Yesterday I received a message that the network is still being put-together and they are still very interested in Dirty Laundry. I was told that we would still have 100% creative control of the show (a point that would have been non-negotiable to us). I guess the only difference in loads of Dirty Laundry would be that we would have "real" commercials and we would get paid. I wonder if we could bash our sponsors if we didn't like their products or services or if we could choose who we want to advertise on our show? I was told that I/we would be called "Program Director (PD)." That means new business cards - yes, Dirty Laundry Podcast does have business cards. The ad sales will be broken up into percentages between: us (the PD's), the sales agent and the network. We would actually have sales agents selling ad time for us? I know it's small but it's forward movement. I am not going to get too excited - if it's meant to be it will happen and if not, it won't. I have so many questions like: would we make the commercials ourselves or would they send us a ads ready for broadcast? Would we have to sign a contract? I have asked the person who is putting together the network to be on the podcast (actually he suggested it and I agree) and thought it would be cool to talk about it on the show. Hey, that would let you hear what is going on and offer your advise, cautions, suggestions... because we do the show for you and are always interested in what you have to say. Also, we would have our recorded discussion if we ever had any questions. Do we need an agent and/or legal representation now? We have: a Music Director (Eric Solfisburg), several Associate Producers (MADYM, Jay Cole, The Lost Sock, Greg Weindorf), a field reporter that we haven't heard from since he got tasered at the NATO Summit (Preston Ulysses Sherwood) and an Entertainment Reporter (also Greg Weindorf) now do we need a legal team? Get your resume together just in case. Stay tuned to this Matt Channel (and the podcast) for updates.

A storm is coming - the satellite television is "searching for a signal." That, and my little friend to the left, are always good indicators of coming storms.

The last time I blogged I did it in the MIDDLE of the night and I mentioned  that Sherman Helmsley and Chad Everett had died. It was cool to watch the morning news and see that they were reporting on what I blogged about before they reported it. I am sorry it had to be about deaths but it was pretty cool.

I heard a story last week about a 72-year-old Michigan woman (Linda Lou Chase) who had been living with her long-time housemate about 18 months after he stopped living. The companion, Charles Zigler (67) had died of natural causes. Apparently there was nothing illegal about what she did or did not do with the dead body - watch NASCAR and play solitaire with it I suppose. The illegal part came when she kept cashing his pension and Social Security checks (forgery) since he died. Now she will get a new companion called a cell-mate. I would want Cha Cha to keep cashing checks that came to me but I guess not reporting my death and ripping-off the system wouldn't be right. The system has never ripped anybody off right? I guess in our case she would get more from my insurance and in the case of these people I am thinking there was no insurance involved since they were not married. I don't want to make assumptions but isn't that what life is - making a series of assumptions?

Charles Zigler

Alright, I have to figure out dinner for these people here. Thank you for stopping by and for listening to the podcast. I appreciate you reading the blog any advise you have regarding the possibility of Dirty Laundry Podcast being a part of a network. I am not sure if I am excited about being on a network or just the idea of it. I just don't want it to change the way we do the show and for the reasons that we do it. Have a great Thursnight (Monnight for me) and maybe I will blog tomorrow. TTT?...MITM (out).
Leave them with somethin' Roz!

Cliffs Notes of Dead Celebrities

I cannot sleep so of all the things I could do I choose to blog to you. We recorded the podcast a couple of hours ago and I could go back down to the studio and edit it but that can wait until morning. It's gonna make blogging tough though because everything I think I would blog about we talked about on the show. Maybe next week I will write the blog at the same time we are recording the podcast. I wonder if that's ever been done? I could make the blog that day kind of Cliffs Notes for the week's Dirty Laundry Podcast. I just checked and Cliff's Notes are named after Cliff Hillegass "invented" them in Nebraska in 1958: there's something we didn't talk about on the podcast.

Fabio and I went to see Dark Knight Rises yesterday (Tuesday). We went to Batavia to see it in IMATT IMAX. Every time I see a film in IMAX I promise myself that I will never watch a  film any other way but not all movies are on that formatt format and there isn't an IMAX real close to us. We talk about the movie on the podcast but I wanted to let you know that if you are on the fence about seeing it get off the fence and go - it is really good. Supposedly, this was Christian Bale's last Batman film but I guarantee  that there will be more Mattman Batman films. 

I just read that Chad Everett died at 75. You fellow MIDDLERS will remember him from the 1970's television show Medical Center. Those were the days when we all had one television (a lot of times black and white) and only three or four channels to choose from so most of us laid in front of the television on the floor and watched whatever our parents were watching. For some reason I think Medical Center was on the same night as Emergency and maybe Adam-12 too? Times sure have changed.

As long as I'm on the dead celebrities portion of the blog  Sherman Helmsley also died - he was 74. I also remember watching him as a kid, a few years later, as Archie Bunker's neighbor George Jefferson on All In The Family and then, of course, on The Jefferson's. You sure would have a hard time making those shows today unless you were Tyler Perry. Not everybody know's this but George and Weezie bought the Banks' home on the last episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. 

Also recently dead are: astronaut/physicist Sally Ride and Mouseketeer and Disney movie voice actress Ginny Tyler. I guess this is why I usually don't blog at night. Night means doom and gloom it seems.

I am getting tired so I think I will hang it up. I will blog again tomorrow because tomorrow is my Sunday (actually it is today now I guess since it is 2:00AM).

Thank you for stopping in and I will blog more upbeat next. I will also have the podcast up by then . Have a great whatever time it is when you read this (morning, day, night, afternoon...). I really do appreciate you reading this so I feel like I have a reason to write. TTTT (or later today actually)...TA!

I Pinkie Swore So Here I am!

I pinkie swore!

I said I would most likely blog today so even though in the MIDDLEwest it's 10PM it is still officially today. Today has been busy but a promise is a promise. Tomorrow, on the other had, I am not sure if I will blog or not. I am not sure how long this blog will be because my sinuses were acting up and I took one Benadryl; I say one because I usually take two so maybe one will just get rid of the sinus headache and not make me sleepy. I will take a second when it's beddy-by time.

We are having a rare thunderstorm right now. I am happy I am off tonight so maybe I can take advantage of sleeping with the window open and a thunderstorm stirring things up. There's few things I like more than sleeping at night while it's storming. I would estimate that it is my 287th favorite thing.

The new podcast is ready and I am going to fight the urge to link it in today's blog. You know how to get there by now and if not I know you're smart enough to find Dirty Laundry Podcast on Podomatic or on iTunes. 

The last I had heard of Rush Limbaugh was when we jabbed him a couple of weeks or months ago after he called that lady a "slut." I thought we, along with his sponsors pulling their advertisement money, had ended his career but I have found out that he is still broadcasting. I guess if Oxycontin can't end him how could advertising money ceasing? His latest nonsensical comments suggest that the latest Batman villain in The Dark Knight Rises , Bane, is a slam on Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Apparently Romney was with the investment fund Bain Capital and Rush Nutball Limbaugh says that when the election is in full swing people will associate Romney with this villain. Bain Captal was said to have outsourced jobs to Mexico and China while Romney was CEO, Chairman and sole stockholder. The funny thing about this is that Romney didn't even run for public office until 1994 when he lost to Ted Kennedy but Bane appeared in a Batman comic in 1993 so this has Back To The Future tied-in there somewhere. I guess we need to be completely stupid, irresponsible and make crazy stuff up to make the podcast really take-off.

I guess it could be the same dude.

I totally have blogger's-block because I am not used to blogging this late/ I think I am going hang it up for today. If you need to know what has been on my mind please go the place of which I will not link.  Thank you for stopping in and I will try to do better next time - I may actually blog tomorrow sometime because I know I have more in me that this sinus headache is holding in. I am off to take Benny #2 and, unfortunately, the storm seems to be over. Have a great hour (the rest of the night) and a great tomorrow. TTTT (most likely)...MITM (out to knock myself out to go out). TA!

How About a Little One On One Lesbian Scientology?

Dear Bloggary:
It's hotter than Helser again in the MIDDLEwest. It's days like these that I am happy I work nights and sleep in the air conditioning with two fans on me during the day. While I am writing this I am watching what I assume is the ending of a free Encore weekend. I am currently watching Ice Castles. I thought it was the Robby Benson / Lynn-Holly Johnson film from the late 70's when I turned it on but it's another remake (2010) of a movie that didn't need to be remade. So, I am watching a chick-flick remade of a chick-flick that I had seen several times. I know this may be Matterosexual but I really like Robby Benson. I think my favorite Robby Benson movie, besides Beauty and the Beast, is easily One On One. Of all the stupid movies that they replay all the time I never see One On One. Henry Steele is the bomb yo! I need to check Netflix for it.

Tonight we record the Dirty Laundry Podcast and I plan to talk about another movie that is currently being cast for remake. We talked about Total Recall last week and now another movie that doesn't need to be remade because it was perfectly good is being redone. This is one of my pet peeves lately. Spoiler alert **** the blind chick is skating in competition again and it's the same song that Lynn-Holly Johnson skated too - I actually may have crossed the threshold and now am 58% estrogen and 42% testosterone. I am fine with that as I have always preferred the fairer sex! I am fairly certain if I am 58% female I am 100% of that 58% lesbian. I am glad to finally be a member ladies. I wonder if she is going to trip on the flowers at the end like in the first one? I will let you know in a minute....the suspense is killing me. I gotta say that this Taylor Firth is a much better actress that Lynn-Holly. Uh Oh, she just tripped.... I knew she had to because that was a huge part of the whole movie. They were teddy bears this time instead of flowers so I guess it isn't a true remake.

I only slept for like four hours so I am kinda sleepy. I may try to sleep a little before we record the show but then I will be up all night though I am not sure if that is good or bad? I don't think I will ever be a real boy ever again; I am destined to be a part-time human for the end of my days I fear. I really like my job a lot but protecting and serving really takes a toll on the family time.

There sure is a lot of talk about Scientology with the splitting of Katie Holes and Tom Cruise. I would really love to have a Scientologist on the podcast. I know a current Scientologist couldn't/wouldn't be on the show but a former member would be better anyway. If you or someone you know is/are a former Scientology member please get in touch with me. I heard that a car that Katie Holmes was in last night was side-swiped by a garbage truck; curious? What is a garbage truck doing out at night? I guess that is when they empty all of those dumpsters but it sure seems scientolospicious (trademark/patent/copyright). Was that before or after Katie registered the couples' daughter Suri in Catholic girls' school? Instead of remakes - this is the movie Hollywood should be making right now!!! But, who would they get to be in it? I know Cruise and Travolta would be out. Catherine Bell is a Scientologist? That makes me sad. Maybe Robby Benson would be in it....a boy can dream!

I am pretty sure I am lesbian trapped in a man's body

Alright I just felt like writing so I wrote and thank you for giving me a reason. I hope you have a great night - stay cool Middlewest-diego. Make sure to head over to the Dirty Laundry Podcast Facebook page and "like" it so you'll know when the podcast is ready. TTTT (most likely)....MITM on a singular mission for One On One!

Maybe I am a Real- Life Super Hero? Maybe You are Too!

The photo may be blurry because of the speed and the twists

Yesterday at Six Flags Great America was great fun. It was very expensive but spending the day with your kids is always worth most any price. It only took us an hour to get there because I know a really fast way there the fast way is to go right after morning rush hour is over and then drive 80 - 85 miles per hour except in construction zones where it is wise to follow the mandated speed limits.We got there at about 10:30 and Splenda and I went our way and Fabio and his two buddies did there thing and we pre-decided to meet back at the park entrance at 5PM to leave the park and go for dinner. Splenda and I did every one of the roller coasters or whatever they are called these days. The first ride we did was V2 (Vertical Velocity) which I think is one of the newest of the rides. We also rode X Flight which I think is the newest of the rides. The coolest thing about this one was when the ride came to an end my vision was all blurred; I thought that maybe it was because I has forgotten to take my blood pressure medicine that morning but it turned out Splenda's vision was blurred too. It was because we were going so fast and twisting and looping so much that our brain hadn't been able to adjust our eyes back to the slowed/stopped position. It kinda made me thing of what test pilots must have to go through but I imagine they can slow down slowly most of the time and we had to stop immediately so others could get on the ride. My favorite ride of the day was Superman: Ultimate Flight. I had been on it before when it was brand new but this time we were in the front row; if you go on this ride it is worth the wait to be in the front. I actually felt like I was flying. I am one of those dorky dads that sticks his arms out in front of me to try to simulate Superman's flying style. Splenda had her arms out too and it was great!!! What else did we do?: Raging Bull, Batman, The Dark Knight Coaster, Logger's Run, Raging Rapids,  Yankee Clipper and Rue Le Dodge (bumper cars).

We went to dinner at Chili's and, surprisingly, the boys had had enough of Great America so we went to Gurnee Mills Mall and everybody seemed to like that just as much as Great America. I should just have taken the money we spent at Great America and divided it evenly among the five of us to go shopping and I think they all would have been just as happy. All that and we were back home by 9:30ish. The same, wait until rush-hour traffic and other MITM rules apply.

maybe worth the money?

While we were at the park yesterday my cell phone ceased to work. Was it because it got wet on water rides? NO!!!! I am a savvy amusement parker and I had brought along a box of zip-lock bags and divvied them out amongst our landing party. I kept all of my stuff in one of the bags and Velcroed securely in my cargo shorts. Dry as a bone in the desert in Mid August! I figured it must be dead. When I got home I threw it on the charger for 15 hours and it was still dead this morning. I took it over to the T-Mobile store and was told that it is a problem that is occurring with my particular model. They tried their battery and that didn't work either. It is still under warranty and it is a problem with this phone yet I still have to pay $20 to get a new phone and an additionally $20 more if I want it overnighted. I was not in a mood to fight, which is very unusual for me in these situations, but I am guessing I am probably going to strategize and build my troops and this war is not over - I just have chosen to fight this battle at a later date maybe when I am on neutral ground and they do not have the tactical advantage. I guess they need a lot of my money to pay that hot chick and her new motorcycle for their commercials.

The reason that I didn't feel like going to battle may have had something to the night before we went to the amusement park I had stayed up until 2AM getting the Dirty Laundry Podcast edited and uploaded because I knew I would not have time to do it yesterday with the amusement/mall day. I am still a little tired now and will probably take a nap after I get this posted because I have to work tonight.

Six Flags Great America knew we were coming!!!

I don't really know what's going on in the world today or yesterday so I guess I will stop here for today. Thanks a lot for taking the time to stop by; it always makes me smile. I hope you have a great Thursafternoon and Thursnight and I may blog again tomorrow. Please listen to the podcast and like us on Facebook (Dirty Laundry Podcast on Facebook). I said Please!!!! TTTT?...MITM (still slightly velocitized from rides without meds) TA!!!!

Take Me Out To The Blog Game

Happy Saturday everybody; it's funny how I am never as tired as usual on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (my Saturdays and Sundays). I am sure it is pretty much the same for everybody .

I just watched Lou Brock get a nice hit off of Nolan Ryan (I forgot Ryan played for the California Angels at one time). Tonight is the MLB All-Star Game so MLB Network is playing past all-star game highlight shows with Mel Allen doing the play-by-play. I just watched the 1978 all-star game and now the 1979 game is playing. That was about when I was 15 and 16 and when I loved baseball the most. I like when the all-stars wore their own teams' jerseys. I figure they must have come up with the all-star jersey idea to sell more merchandise and make more money off of the fans. I forgot about the White Sox' ugly uniforms in 1978 and 1979. Now youngster Gary Carter of the Montreal Expos is up followed by the Phillies' Pete Rose. And now The San Diego Super Chicken is screwing around. This is cool but it kinda makes me sad what professional sports have become. Wow, this is also the year that the Cubs had those ugly powder blue uniforms with royal blue pin-stripes; some things have gotten better in professional baseball.

Tonight we record the Dirty Laundry Podcast. I don't know what we will talk about but that never seems to stop us.
Tomorrow we are going to Six Flags Great America. One of Fabio's best friends as a yute and his family moved to Oregon (the state, not the Illinois town) a couple of years ago and he is visiting us this week. His family gave him a dream vacation for Christmas. How cool is it that someone gets a week vacation for a Christmas gift and you are the gift? He lived right across the street from us so it must be weird to look at the house you spent most of you life in right across the street. He and Fabio are having a great time. I had hoped to get him to a Chicago White Sox game because he is a huge Sox' fan but with the all-star break there are no games going on. Wow, right as I am typing this the 1980 All-Star game is starting - the weird thing about that is that they just talked to Baltimore Orioles' pitcher Steve Stone (he is now the White Sox announcer). In addition to the three of us a couple of their other friends are going and Splenda, just back from California, is going too so I don't look like a creeper going on rides all by myself. I am good at being a creeper though  I am told.

I must be tired because I don't have anything else on my mind. I had better go back to sleep for a few hours before we record the podcast or it is going to be a very boring show (keep your comments to yourself). I probably will not get a chance to blog tomorrow because of Six Flags Great America. I guess you'll just have to listen to the podcast instead. Thank you for stopping by and have a nice Wedsnight. TTT the podcast...MITM (out) Hey, I forgot there was a Ken Griffey Sr.

Seriously? Green Urine?

I would say the worse I got was like #5 (what is #8?)

I am pretty sure I am getting prepped for the afterlife. Two week's ago I was in Texas where the stars at night shine at night just to kept a simmer for the sun all night so the day could get to a rolling boil quicker and now last night I walked about 15 miles outside in temperatures that felt like over 100 with something like 236% humidity. I was happy that my sunburn from Texas had turned to a nice golden-brown but then last night while I sweated for 8 hours straight little sweat bubbles appeared on my forearms. Apparently my skin was sweating under my tan and it was clear that my tan was gonna peel off. Luckily, so far, the bubbles have subsided and I have not peeled. I think my body was so dehydrated that it needed that moisture to remain hydrated and sucked it back in. I stopped and went to the washroom a couple of times last night and one of the places I went was an athletic facility so as I stood at the urinal, relishing the air conditioning for a few moments, I studied the sign above (I have always loved when they put up reading material so I am not bored) that showed what color urine should be at various points of hydration. I was pretty well hydrated. Later on in the evening, maybe three hours later after a large beverage and a lot more walking in the heat and humidity, I stopped at a different place to make my bladder gladder and my color had changed to almost completely mustard yellow - bordering on Dijon. It is remarkable how quickly one can become dehydrated. I guess I am trying to say if you are outside in anything like the Middlewestern heat we are experiencing keep fluids flowing in. Today and tomorrow here the temperatures are supposed to be over 100 degrees and it will feel like around 115 degrees; that's why you're inside reading this blog and not out mowing your lawn brown patches of straw.

That reminds me of when I was a kid and we went on a family vacation to California. My dad's Aunt Ruth lived in California so we stopped to visit her while were out there. There was some kind of a water shortage or a water conservation effort of sometime and every time one of us would go to the bathroom she would say, "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." I have remembered that for over 30 years; marketing gold! (more ways than one)

If you lived on the sun could you get an Earth burn or an Earth tan?

ironic since it's blurry

 I have always been a cardigan (sweater) and this morning when I got home from work, out of curiosity, I weighed myself and found that I had lost four pounds since going to work nine hours earlier. That reminded me of the film Vision Quest where Lowden Swain (Matthew Modine) had to make himself sweat to make weight for a wrestling meet. I quickly regained three of the four pounds by drinking a liter (or litre) of water. At least I still lost a pound walking 15 miles.

Yesterday I received in the mail the new license plates for the Fiat. Cha Cha doesn't even know we have them but I put them on the car and she will find out eventually - she doesn't read the blog, because she doesn't like me as much as you do, so she won't read it here. Anyway, I got the environmental plates and her new plates read "EXIST." I looked-up what Fiat translated to in English and it means "to be" or "to exist." so I thought that was pretty cool - she may hate it but que sera sera. They are light green, almost the same color of the car, and they have a red Cardinal on them (not only is the Cardinal the state bird of Illinois it also happens to be the namesake of the current World Champions in Major League Baseball and our family's MLB team of choice - my fault).

I think I am going to try to garb forty winks. Where does that expression come from? Is it because the night was called a fortnight at one point? If I take a short nap will that only be twenty winks? I will probably actually take a Benadryl or two and take eighty or ninety winks. I am not sure if I will blog tomorrow but make sure if you need a Matt-fix, who doesn't, listen to the Dirty Laundry Podcast. I have done quite a bit of brain-storming and note-taking on my story idea from yesterday - hopefully I will not hit a road block and become discouraged; eventually I will have to start writing something and I will finally know that this is the one. I have so many screen plays and books started that I lost interest in that when I die somebody will probably find these ideas/beginnings of stories and win a Pulitzer or an Oscar or something...you're welcome future generations!!!! Thanks for stopping-in to read my heat-stroked, dehydrated rantings. TTT?....MITM (out to hydrate and wink). TA!

A New MITM Book on the Horizon?

Happy 5th of July. I have become depressed for some reason over the past twelve hours; I wonder if it's due to my country turning 236 years old? I realize that 236 is very young as countries go but after about the age of fourteen or so, with the exceptions of maybe 16 (divers' license), 18 (lottery, voting and porn) and 21 (drinking legally) all of the other birthdays are just us getting closer to death.

"Lee Harvey...I wanna (write about)  you cowboy."

We recorded the new Dirty Laundry Podcast last night and it is up. I always have a hard time blogging around this time for fear of repeating what we discuss on the podcast.

Has anyone read the book 11/22/63? I guess it is a Stephen King novel about the John Fitzgerald Kennedy assassination. I feel a need to read it mainly because of how I heard about the book. On my recent trip to Dallas I visited the grave of Lee Harvey Oswald (supposed assassin of JFK). While we were looking for the grave-site an older couple waved us over to where they were probably knowing what we were looking for. We went over and there was the headstone of LHO. It did not seem odd at the time but looking back I wonder if they were ghosts because many things now, as I write this, seem pretty odd. Firstly, they were from Massachusetts as I ascertained by their accents and remarked as such to them. The husband was a history teacher so knew quite a bit about the event and many things I did not even know. They also told us that they were staying at the hotel where John and Jacqueline Kennedy stayed his last night alive (The Hotel Texas in downtown Ft. Forth). All of this seemed really cool at the time but it didn't seem eerie until I write it now. I am usually a person to put something supernatural and creepy into everything just to entertain myself but why wouldn't I have tied this together until now? Anyway, the wife was the one who suggested I read 11/22/63. She said it is about time-travel or something where someone comes back to the time of the JFK assassination to try to stop the killing. I have always been fascinated by those events and while in The School Book Depository I came to the thought that LHO had nothing to do with the JFK assassination - he was a TRUE 100% patsy. There was no exhibit or evidence at the Depository that gave me that thought other than the thought just popping into my head. I still do not know why I believe he had nothing to do with it. I had always thought he, at the very least, had something to do with the assassination. Maybe I started to think about it when I heard, which I already knew, that he just left his rifle lying on the floor where the shot was supposedly fired. That doesn't seem like something somebody who planned such an act with such detail would do. He obviously didn't want to be a martyr/hero for doing it or when he was captured at the Texas Theatre he would not have denied it. Maybe you never really know a man until you lie on his grave and speak to ghosts from Massachusetts (coincidence that JFK was from there too?) Maybe I need to write a story about this huh?  

The view of an assassin?

There is a town in Texas that we passed-through named Pearland. The whole time I was down there I wondered, "is it pronounced 'pair land' or 'pearl land'?" I still do not know and I now wish I would have stopped at a gas station and asked someone. Maybe if I have to go down and do some research for my story about Nick Beef and Lee Harvey Oswald I will mosey into that town and find out. If you don't know about Nick Beef you haven't listened to last week's podcast yet have you?

Why does everybody hate gluten so much? I love gluten. I don't even know what it is but it sounds like fun. Isn't gluten just protein? What did gluten ever do to anybody? Don't be a gluten hater. I heart gluten!!! I am starting the gluten fan club! Our spokesperson will be Augustus Gluten (and we will get the dude who played Augustus Gloop to play him).

I am done for today. I am still depressed but at least I was distracted for a little while. Maybe if I write this LHO/Nick Beef story it will distract me and I will snap out of whatever funk I am in; I imagine it's just my Mattsruation since it is usually end of month/beginning of the month but who knows? Thanks for letting me ramble-on; you always make me feel better no matter what mood I am in. TTTT (probably)....MITM (ghost) TA!