My Day at the DMV (SOS)!

Happy Thursday to you and to me Unhappy Monday! I really miss the days when I loved Thursdays and hated Mondays.

I believe I shall!!!

Yesterday I posted my Facebook status as: "Illinois is the most F'd-up state in the entire union! I have to figure out if I prefer: cheese, corn, river boats, fireworks or banjo music before I decide which bordering state to move to!!!! Missouri is currently leading the contest mainly because of the Cardinals and Hannibal. Get your resumes to me ASAP!" That was even before I went over to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). Is it just a coincidence that DMV and DMZ (De-militarized Zone) are so close? I think - NO! I was doing something for the Fiat (I cannot say specifically because it is a surprise and I will tell you here eventually). It wasn't actually FOR the Fiat because I am very aware that there are very few vehicles like Herbie the Love Bug! Anyway, the thing I needed to do required entering the names on the title on a computer website (no, it is not a car dating service though the Fiat is really cute and nice and feisty and would be a great catch for some lucky car but she is still very young). When I entered the information it kicked it back saying there was a problem with the information that I entered and I did it again and again and got the same results... what is the definition of insanity again? So it prompted me to call the Illinois State Department of Motor Vehicles. I called them and was treated as rudely as you might imagine. I do not take kindly to that sort of thing so it escalated and I will probably get audited in the near future because I am sure I am now red-flagged within my state. So, I decided to go to the love SOS (Secretary of State) office with Cha Cha and car title in-hand. Incidentally, the irony of our Secretary of State's acronym being SOS is not lost on me. I always like when you go there and they say you can just make your check out to SOS because we are not dumb enough - we cannot even attempt to spell OF. I always spell out the entire thing even though they say to just write SOS... who in the hell doesn't take Visa  these days with everybody using debit cards.... an asshole state who doesn't give a crap about their constituents!!! So, as I sparred with the lady behind the counter about our title being wrong the line built up behind us because she was the only person back there and nobody came to help becasue "we are the SOS and we can do whatever we want and you have to take it!!!!" Yes, I am getting myself riled-up again. Long story not quite as long as it could be... After blaming us and then the car dealership she finally found out through microfilm or microfiche that it was the SOS that SUCKS and then I said, "I guess maybe you shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so quickly huh?" I am sure I embarrassed Cha Cha and Splenda but I knew all of those people in line were cheering in their minds. The old battle axe needed a dressing-down and I was just the pissed-off guy to do it. I even have it in writing that the SOS SCREWED-UP because she gave me a copy of the letter she sent to Springfield with our title to be corrected...I guess Homer Simpson runs our DMV which explains a lot. The problem on the title was that My last name was correct HELSER but Cha Cha's was HEISER. All of this aggravation over a cyclops (that was an attempt at a corny one eye joke).  

Yes, I did hear that the Springfield in The Simpsons in in Oregon.

My back is killing me today and I just now realized it is from hauling wood yesterday. I am very tempted to tell an off-color joke but will just say that I am very tempted to tell one and maybe the one you'd tell is better than mine and I can get credit for it anyway. Wood for the fire-pit in the back yard.

I always thought it would be cool to be a United States Secret Service Agent but now wit the stuff that is going on in the news about the position I really regret not pursuing that a little harder. Maybe I was on that path at one time - not really sure. I was already sworn-in and scheduled to go to Fort McClellan, Alabama for basic training as a military police officer when I was still in high school but then I got my toe chopped off and then they didn't want me any more. Secret Service agents get added benefits that we didn't even know about (assumed but didn't know). I would have liked to have been a Secret Service Agent for Bill Clinton... can you imagine that? So now this is going to be a part of the Presidential election even though the President has nothing to do with what they do while they are off work, nor does he have anything to do with them while they are on work other than to listen to them about security issues. I cannot believe there would be anything illegal like prostitution in a country like Columbia so the story must be false. George W.'s Secret Service sucked... remember he had two shoes thrown at him? After the first shoe was fired how do they let a second SHOE-TER get one off. (I think it was the same Shoe-ter or maybe there was only one show but I am pretty sure there were two shoes). I checked my sources (YOUTUBE) and there was, in fact, only one shoe fired... Good job boys/girls of the SS (not the Nazi one but the U.S. Secret Service one).

I have blabbed-on long enough and have to get caught-up on my Words With Friends and do the laundry and clean the kitchen...I have already been to the grocery store... and then I have to go to work. I think working for the Secret Service would actually be like Club Med sometimes (with benefits). Have a great day and thank you for reading this so I keep doing it. TTTT...MITM (out - RIP Dick Clark - seemed like a great guy especially considering that he could have owned the whole world).