Clarence Oddbloggy

It has been over a month since I blogged. There is no particular reason that it's been so long since the last blog, it just has. My creative outlet has been Dirty Laundry Podcast mostly but, all of a sudden, that doesn't seem to be enough; at least for today. So, here I blog again. Tomorrow night we will record our 124th show. I still love doing the show as much as I did when we did our very first Load but I always want more.

I am thinking that maybe I am blogging because I am feeling melancholy and hope to figure out what is up by writing (my therapy). I believe that's why a lot of the great writers that I admire and respect from days gone-by wrote and perhaps by me not writing I have caused my own funk (not the smelly kind). They probably always drank a lot also huh? I have always found great pleasure in cooking too so I went shopping today and I have made a huge salad (in the fridge cajeeling) and assembled a meatloaf that is in the pan ready to be cooked. It is a turkey meatloaf but the carnivores in the house will never know the difference. There's something soothing about cutting tomatoes, hard-boiling and slicing eggs and chopping: broccoli, cauliflower, onion, carrots, pepperonchinis... After I am done blogging, while the meatloaf cooks for an hour or so, I will put together a couple of bookshelves (this is where the Charles Ingalls therapy comes into play). If Twain and Ingalls and Hemingway cannot help I am beyond repair. It is the end of the month too so maybe the Mattstruation thing is still holding strong even though I am closer to Mattopause. When does the change of life happen?

Soon I will be half-a-century old and I don't take great credence in age being an issue in many things but maybe someplace in the back of my mind I am starting to be going through one of my George Bailey phases. I do this from time-to-time. I think it is human nature to think "what if" sometimes. I do not think "what if" about my family decisions; I would not change a thing in that department but maybe I would make different personal choices if I ran my car into a tree in Bedford Falls tonight. Sometimes I feel like I have let a lot of people down throughout the years; I guess I just always expect more from myself. I think that is a good thing but it is tough on the ego sometimes. Maybe a trip to Martini's tonight will help?

We talked about our week in Wisconsin on the past two or three podcasts so I will not go into much detail here (you'll have to listen to the shows for that) but there were several things that have happened subsequently directly related to that week that have made me reexamine some of my thoughts and beliefs. I am not speaking about religion or seeing Big Foot or a Chupacabra or anything but some of my thoughts about some people have been reinforced (good and bad). I like being correct about things but that doesn't make me happy to learn that there is no Santa Claus (hypothetically, of course, as we all know there is a Jolly Old St. Nick). I will have to bury some of those feeling deep down but I wear a lot on my sleeves so I have my work cut out for me for the next 50 years or so. Vague much?

Maybe some of these dark feelings come from the chance meeting of a young lady I encountered last night. I cannot talk about any particulars about this for moral and professional reasons but it made me think about how life is such a fragile thing that teeters on so many things. I feel, in some very small way, that I helped her last night and things like this is why I really enjoy doing what I do. I have always had a need and desire to help people. It may border on unhealthy for me but why did Batman and the like do things to help people? Not to mention real life heroes like men and women who serve their countries every day.

My brother is in town from Hawaii. We went to the Cubs - Cardinals game at Wrigley Field Saturday. we had a really good time. My team won so I was even happier. In fact, they have not lost since we were at the game (3-0 since Saturday). You're welcome Cardinals! Tomorrow we are going to Addison to do some like super fast go-carts that he found out about. Like Fast and Furious baby. I guess we have to wear helmets and everything; I am looking forward to it. If you want to get you butt beat I'll be there at noon to school you on driving.

Has anybody seen the meat thermometer?

I find that I need to be entertained 100% of the time. What happened to those days when it was okay just to do one thing? I really miss those days when it was cool to lie in the yard and just stare up at the clouds. I guess even that was doing something; trying to see different shapes in them. It was like self analysis - a Rorschach test in the sky.

The meatloaf if about cooked (in the oven for over an hour now) so I had better wrap up. I cannot say when I will blog again but I have enjoyed this time with you. If you would like any specific details about any of the things I blogged about today send we a SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope) or catch me in person when I have a Mattgarita or two in me and I will spill (not literally). Thanks a lot for coming back after so long; it warm the cockles of my heart to feel the love. Have a great night and however long it is until next time. TTT?...MITM (gone to mash potatoes) out. TA!