Kinda Corny (you'll see that's corny too when you read the blog)

I got home from work and then Cha Cha and I went to workout and now I am gonna blog before I sleep. I walked last night for seven hours straight, My feet hurt a little. So, since I walked last night I did five miles on the bike and then I worked arms today. Tomorrow morning I will work legs again. As most of you know my work week is Thursday through Monday. Beginning September 16th my days off will be Sunday and Monday. That's good going into football season. I will be one day away from being a real boy. Tuesday - Saturday is really close to Monday - Friday. This is probably as close as I will get to a real work week for a looooooong time. It still won't be daytime hours but that will never happen at my current job. I am just happy to have one real weekend day off. Now, if I want to have a long weekend, I could take Friday and Saturday off and actually have a real four day weekend.

I think Monday is a holiday but I don't think it's one that we get paid for. What is it Labor Day or something? I bet Jerry Lewis knows. I am pretty sure that is the one though.

I didn't think I would miss Maisy as much as I do. I really took for granted all of the things that she did. Hanging clothes out on the line yesterday she would have been there. She was always trying to figure out what I was doing. I still catch myself thinking about calling her name to go outside. She loved the sunshine and it's been sunny almost every day since she died. Twelve to Thirteen years of habits are hard to break. It's gonna take a lot longer I am afraid. Maybe I should fire the EVP up but dogs don't know how to talk so I wonder if ghost dogs could communicate from beyond if they were ghosts. It would be weird if it say "arf" or "bark" or something.

Pop, Cob and Candy

Looking back at the blog I see that I use the word I a lot. Probably because the blog is about me Matt guesses. Maybe Matt should start referring to himself in the third person.

Corn Fest is going on in my town right now. I know, things don't get any better in life. Free corn downtown tomorrow from 11 - 2. Thanks Delmonte! I get off work at 06:00 so if I sleep for four hours I can still get down there for some free corn. Corn always seems to taste better when you don't have to shuck it and cook it for some reason. That's true with just about anything in life it seems. Corn Fest is back downtown this year. It had been at the airport for the past several years; I much prefer it downtown. Come on out I will treat you to some free corn (while supplies last).

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast (Load #125) is up. I know we just uploaded one a couple of days ago but the editing went very smoothly so I just posted the new one too. No use making you wait. For one day I wasn't exhausted; maybe because it was the end of my weekend. I have been listening to quite a few other podcasts and am happy to report that there are few that are as good as ours. Some have bigger stars as guests but they don't even know how to talk to people. You can tell that many people aren't interested in what people have to say; Cha Cha and The Agitator are really interested in what people have to say and we listen.

There are lots more things to blog about but I am pretty tired so I am gonna close my eyes and dream about you and blogs and podcasts and weekend days off. I am not even really sure what a sugar plum is. Have a great YOUR FRIDAY - soon to be my Thursday. Thanks a lot for stopping in. Please download it free from iTunes or at least listen to the podcast(s) from that link in the previous paragraph. We are #36 overall right now and we haven't been #1 in awhile so it would be cool to be back there again. Also, pass it on! If not, that's cool - no biggie but I know you'll like the show. TTTT....MITM (snooze city here I come). TA!

Ha, I just Googled "Dirty Laundry Podcast" and looked at "images" and was surprised that there are a great many from our show and this blog - weird. That's pretty cool! TA again for realzies this time.

Sad and Funny - Just Like Life!

She is and always will be missed!

Our dog Maisy died two days ago. She was a member of our family for twelve or thirteen years. When the kids are now 16 and 21 that is a big chunk of their lives so, as you might imagine, we were pretty fond of her. She was a great dog and she is already missed. One of the worst parts for me is that Splenda is away at school and I had to tell her while she was there. If Maisy had been a person she probably would have been a Mother Teresa-type of person save for the occasional poop or pee by the door when we weren't home to let her out. I may even say that she was Mother Teresa incarnate except we already had Maisy by 2008 when Mother Teresa died. Maisy had been getting bad lately; she'd walk around in circles like she was having dementia, she would sleep almost all of the time... The last couple of days, however. she was acting kind of spry again but then Cha Cha reminded me that before her parents died they both seemed to have a time right before their deaths when they seemed fine too. It's like somebody or something is giving our bodies one last chance to say goodbye to our lives and our loved-ones so we can be remembered the way people need to remember us. This only occurs when you are dying of an illness or maybe old age. Maisy seems to have died in her sleep which always seems to be more comforting  for loved-ones.

The house was very sad but there is already talk of getting a new dog. I am against it but my vote has never MATTered here so I imagine we will be getting a new dog soon. I like dogs but I like the freedom of not having pets - if memory serves. I did voice that if we get a dog I want his name to be Jeff Swanson. I don't know why but I think that is funny. I guess we could name a dog Art.  That may even be a name you can teach a dog to say(because it sounds like arf and he'd already know his name). Cha Cha says she just doesn't want a name that ends in y or ie. I love human names for animals.

BRB. The washer is telling me that it's contents are ready for the dryer. Okay, clothes moved over and a new load started.

Cheadle/ Frederick Douglas & Ferrell/ Abraham Lincoln

Speaking of Loads - The new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. I got it uploaded last night about 22:00. Now, tonight, we record the new show. I will surely write, don't call me Shirley, some things here that we will talk about but I guess that is okay. I am certain that we will talk about Maisy and Jeff Swanson.

One other thing that I think we will probably talk about because, I seem to talk about it constantly, is Drunk History. I wish I would have thought of the idea because I think it would be so fun to shoot and edit. In case you haven't seen it or heard us talk about it on Dirty Laundry Podcast (also available free on iTunes) Drunk History is a show where they have people who are drinking tell pieces of history that we all know and the stories get more and more funny as the people get drunker and drunker. The person telling the story are people that we do not know but then their words are acted out by people we do know like: Jack Black, Don Cheadle, Jim Carrey, Will Farrell. Bob Odenkirk, Winona Ryder, Michael Cera... It's always funny to see who pops up and I don't always know who the people are until the end because of the make-up and costumes. It's cool to see big stars doing this for some reason. It started out on FunnyorDie.com and you can still see those shows on there. They are kind of funnier because the swear words are not edited out and it's weird seeing Abe Lincoln or The Pope... using the f-word occasionally for some reason.

I am done. I have lots to do around this quiet house.

FYI - I am a moron. I just deleted this week's entire podcast and had to run back down to the studio and repost it. I think I may just do stupid things so I have stuff to blog about and things to talk about on the podcast. At least that's the story I choose to tell myself. Have a great day and keep those cards and letters coming. I am off work tonight so maybe I'll see you around town today/tonight? Thanks a lot for stopping by and for listening to the podcast. I really appreciate you and think about you often. TTTT...MITM (in a quiet house without a dog and school starting) TA :(

TL; DR

Congratulations, you are one of the minority. Friday when I wrote the blog and promoted it on Facebook and Twitter and the like I wondered to myself, "self, why do we have so many more Facebook 'likers' for Dirty Laundry Podcast than I do for Matt In The Middle?" I asked Cha Cha why she thought that was and she said that "people don't like to read." So, I asked her if maybe I should start reading my blog as a podcast. Then I read yesterday's blog to her and she chuckled but it seemed kind of dry to me. Maybe I should shorten the blog and read a week's worth at a time. It wouldn't take as long to do the blog as a podcast because there would be very little editing; I would just read it to you. I could put some instrumental music behind my velvety fog I guess. I know, however, eventually I would want to add more sound effects and the like and then I would be editing two podcasts. Another crossroad for Matt In The Middle. Cha Cha mentioned that I could do really short ones and call them Matt's Daily Affirmations or something. I would have to work on that but, like I need something else to contemplate, I have something else to think about. Speaking of Dirty Laundry Podcast - I need to get that edited and uploaded here pretty soon.

So you know - you are reading this today but I wrote it yesterday. TIME WARP! I wrote these two paragraphs right after I posted  Friday's blog. Is your head spinning?

I finished this blog yesterday (Saturday) but for some reason it would not save so I am "finishing" the blog again today. I do not remember what I wrote so I suppose the blog gods didn't approve of what I had written and they are wanting me to redo it so I am redoing it. I am the only one who read the non-existent blog from yesterday and I cannot remember 60% of anything anymore so, it is lost for the ages. Some people get exasperated that they cannot remember things as they age but I find great solace in it. It is frustrating sometimes but if you just roll with it it is quite liberating.

The busy season started at my work Thursday. One thing about my job is that we can pretty much KNOW when we are going to be busy. We will be busy from now until shortly before Christmas with a few exceptions around holidays and then we we will be slow for about a month and then be busy again until Spring. At that time we will be slow for a week or so and then pick-up again until summer when we will be REALLY slow for about three months. I so much more like work when we are busy; the time goes faster and I feel like I am helping many more people. I have an inane desire to help people. There are worse desires.

Yesterday we went and did school clothes shopping for Fabio. We had a good day. I like shopping with him because he knows what he wants and it is quick and fairly painless. He does, however, have kind of expensive tastes. It's family days like yesterday that really makes me miss Splenda. She is living her life and I am very proud of her; she's doing some very good things.

Tomorrow Cha Cha has surgery. I have to take off work a couple of hours early tonight to take her. I am glad we have FMLA (I think that stands for Family Medical Leave Act or something) at work. I am new to all of this stuff because I rarely use my sick time and I have never used this option. I think I have like 200 hours of sick time or something "in the bank." It accumulates all of the time and I don't use it. Maybe I am stupid? Maybe you're suppose to pretend your sick and use these days. I figure there may come a time when I really need a lot of sick time and I want to be able to take the time because I have it and the powers-that-be will say, "wow, he must really be sick if he's using his sick time." Again, many of the scenarios that I have in my head that are probably poppy-cock. There are many people at work who seem to be sick all the time and are in "deduct" with their sick time. How is that even possible? So, I am borrowing against my future sick time earnings? I wonder if I could sell some of my sick hours to other people? That would be awesome.

I am not sure if I will blog tomorrow. I don't know how long the surgery will take and doubt they will have WiFi there but I will take my computer just in case. I also, as I said, need to get the podcast edited. What is today, Sunday?  Have a great rest of your weekend (sorry yours is winding down). Thank you for hitching your computer here for a spell; it always makes me smile when I see that you were here.

Blog ya later. TTTT or the next T...MITM (out) TA!

Lies, Lies, Lies.

As kids we were all told a bunch of stupid stuff by our parents. I know most of these lies and/or ignorant phrases were made to control us but I still remember them and ignore them today. I have been swimming less than an hour after eating many times since I was a youngster. Sometimes I think I have even had food in the water. I bet mother sharks never told their sharklings not to swim an hour after eating. Do you think fish tell their kids "don't go near the shore an hour after eating?" They should tell them that worms don't normally live in the water. "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all." If I followed this advise people would think I was mute. "Money doesn't grow on trees." That may be true for coins but when paper money was invented that sort of became a lie too since paper comes from trees. I know I am old but as long as I have been alive there has been paper money. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?" Our dog is like 14 years old and we teach her new stuff all the time. "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words (or names) will never hurt you." That is half true; sticks and stones could break your bones very easily but I have been hurt many, many more times by words in my life than I have been by sticks and stones combined. I have had many broken bones in my day too but I don't think a stick or a stone was ever involved in any of these incidents. One time wooden stairs were involved so maybe that is sort of stickish. We were told to eat all of our food because there were starving children in Africa (unless you want to go swimming within an hour). Again, there were and are starving children in Africa but why didn't we just sent them the food we shouldn't have been overeating. There are starving people everywhere in the world, including in the U.S.of A., and we have become the most overweight country in the world because of these words. I guess words, even if meant to be good intentions, can hurt us eventually. They never put a time limit on the "hurt" did they? There were the other ones too like: Santa can't bring you that because his sleigh isn't big enough, go outside with wet hair and you'll get sick, be good or we'll send you away to live with gypsies (that one would have been cool now that I know what I know), if you swallow watermelon seeds a watermelon will grow in your stomach, keep making that face and your face will stay that way (I would be better looking if I had listened to this one)... The list goes on and on and on. This may be the book I have been wanting to write. This one actually could be an encyclopedia maybe?

Pretty Accurate as I See it

I am not sure why I thought to write that paragraph. I usually like to have smaller paragraphs because long paragraphs seem daunting and makes the whole thing look longer (TWSS). I really had an idea that stemmed from one of those fabrications and, by the time I got to the computer, I had forgotten where I was going so I went in a different direction. Maybe my parents should have told me, "appreciate your memory because before you know it you won't be able to remember anything and then you'll have to make up lies to tell your kids."

Today is the day that the astrological sign Virgo takes over. I fall under this sign and they say that we're: practical, thoughtful and reserved. Given those generalizations maybe my parents lied about my birth date too. I am thoughtful but I am generally not very practical and rarely am I reserved. Since I was born abroad on a military base I have dog tags and my birth date on them is off by two days. I always got some cock and bull story about that but now it makes sense. And, it was difficult for me to get my passport awhile back (if you'll remember). Curiouser and curiouser.

I was sad when I heard that Christian Bale was not going to play Batman again but now I am even sadder when I hear that Ben Affleck is going to play him. I even would rather have had George Clooney or Michael Keaton play the caped-crusader. I can think of a dozen or so people right off the top of my head that would be better. The movie, so my people tell me, is going to be with Batman and Superman. The film is actually the sequel to Man of Steel so maybe Batman will have just a small part, The dude who played Superman in the The Man of Steel (Henry Cavill) is gonna play him. The reason that Batman has always been one of my favorite superheroes/crime fighters is that it is possible. There could be a rich dude who could do most of what he is doing. Green Hornet, Captain America and maybe Iron Man too. I like Superman but it seems so much more unbelievable. Now I am worried when they recast The Joker.

That first paragraph got out-of-hand so I should end now. Have a great day. I thank you for stopping by and for reading the blog and for listening to the podcast. The podcast is still in the can (not the bathroom) and I have not begun the editing progress but should have that up on Monday probably. I may blog again tomorrow but being the weekend I will not make that promise at this time. Have a great rest of your Friday. TTT????...MITM (same Matt channel, same Matt time). BYE!

Pruney and Pooped!

Yesterday and today were certainly eventful. My brother has been in from Hawaii and Saturday we went to  the Cubs-Cardinals game which was fun. That probably has something to do with the Cardinals winning. Yesterday we went to a place called K1 Speed in Addison. They have adult go-carts. These suckers fly. Fishtails, spin-outs... It was A LOT of fun. Then we went to Dave and Buster's which was less than a mile away. Fabio and I: shot baskets, killed zombies and took care of third world assassins while I had a chicken Caesar salad and he had a cheeseburger and fries. My parents even liked the food there which was a good thing. What a great day. Then Cha Cha and I recorded the podcast. I am not sure when I will get it edited but it is recorded.

Today I went to work at 05:00. Normally today I would not even start work for another five hours but today I am done already. I worked until 15:75 and I get OT after 7.5 hours so woohoo! I stood in the MIDDLE of the street for 10.75 hours directing traffic in pouring down rain. It doesn't rain for weeks and weeks but when I am working outside it pours. I am glad I like the rain (even the pouring-down kind). I found the chink in my waterproof Nike work boots because of the deluge. If it rains like Hurricane Katrina the water will come in through the shoelace holes and soak me slowly. By the end of my shift my fingers and toes were all pruney. Or is that prunie? Spell-check doesn't recognize either option but they looked like prunes. So, now I don't have to go in until 22:00 tomorrow and my phalanges should be de-pruned by then. Speaking of phalanges - my stub hurts too (yes I said stub).

I got home and cleaned the kitchen and finished getting those book cases built. I was already almost done but needed to do a bit of nailing.

Until I started writing this I didn't realize that I am spent. I could have kept going for days and days non-stop at work but now that I have stopped I am done. Ridden hard and put-away wet. Literally!

I think I am gonna lie down for a bit. I thought this was a good idea but I am too pooped to blog. I will probably blog again tomorrow. Sorry for the tease but you know I am still alive this way I guess. Have a great night and I will catch you later. Thanks for stopping in. TTTT (probably)...MITM (pooped) TA!

Clarence Oddbloggy

It has been over a month since I blogged. There is no particular reason that it's been so long since the last blog, it just has. My creative outlet has been Dirty Laundry Podcast mostly but, all of a sudden, that doesn't seem to be enough; at least for today. So, here I blog again. Tomorrow night we will record our 124th show. I still love doing the show as much as I did when we did our very first Load but I always want more.

I am thinking that maybe I am blogging because I am feeling melancholy and hope to figure out what is up by writing (my therapy). I believe that's why a lot of the great writers that I admire and respect from days gone-by wrote and perhaps by me not writing I have caused my own funk (not the smelly kind). They probably always drank a lot also huh? I have always found great pleasure in cooking too so I went shopping today and I have made a huge salad (in the fridge cajeeling) and assembled a meatloaf that is in the pan ready to be cooked. It is a turkey meatloaf but the carnivores in the house will never know the difference. There's something soothing about cutting tomatoes, hard-boiling and slicing eggs and chopping: broccoli, cauliflower, onion, carrots, pepperonchinis... After I am done blogging, while the meatloaf cooks for an hour or so, I will put together a couple of bookshelves (this is where the Charles Ingalls therapy comes into play). If Twain and Ingalls and Hemingway cannot help I am beyond repair. It is the end of the month too so maybe the Mattstruation thing is still holding strong even though I am closer to Mattopause. When does the change of life happen?

Soon I will be half-a-century old and I don't take great credence in age being an issue in many things but maybe someplace in the back of my mind I am starting to be going through one of my George Bailey phases. I do this from time-to-time. I think it is human nature to think "what if" sometimes. I do not think "what if" about my family decisions; I would not change a thing in that department but maybe I would make different personal choices if I ran my car into a tree in Bedford Falls tonight. Sometimes I feel like I have let a lot of people down throughout the years; I guess I just always expect more from myself. I think that is a good thing but it is tough on the ego sometimes. Maybe a trip to Martini's tonight will help?

We talked about our week in Wisconsin on the past two or three podcasts so I will not go into much detail here (you'll have to listen to the shows for that) but there were several things that have happened subsequently directly related to that week that have made me reexamine some of my thoughts and beliefs. I am not speaking about religion or seeing Big Foot or a Chupacabra or anything but some of my thoughts about some people have been reinforced (good and bad). I like being correct about things but that doesn't make me happy to learn that there is no Santa Claus (hypothetically, of course, as we all know there is a Jolly Old St. Nick). I will have to bury some of those feeling deep down but I wear a lot on my sleeves so I have my work cut out for me for the next 50 years or so. Vague much?

Maybe some of these dark feelings come from the chance meeting of a young lady I encountered last night. I cannot talk about any particulars about this for moral and professional reasons but it made me think about how life is such a fragile thing that teeters on so many things. I feel, in some very small way, that I helped her last night and things like this is why I really enjoy doing what I do. I have always had a need and desire to help people. It may border on unhealthy for me but why did Batman and the like do things to help people? Not to mention real life heroes like men and women who serve their countries every day.

My brother is in town from Hawaii. We went to the Cubs - Cardinals game at Wrigley Field Saturday. we had a really good time. My team won so I was even happier. In fact, they have not lost since we were at the game (3-0 since Saturday). You're welcome Cardinals! Tomorrow we are going to Addison to do some like super fast go-carts that he found out about. Like Fast and Furious baby. I guess we have to wear helmets and everything; I am looking forward to it. If you want to get you butt beat I'll be there at noon to school you on driving.

Has anybody seen the meat thermometer?

I find that I need to be entertained 100% of the time. What happened to those days when it was okay just to do one thing? I really miss those days when it was cool to lie in the yard and just stare up at the clouds. I guess even that was doing something; trying to see different shapes in them. It was like self analysis - a Rorschach test in the sky.

The meatloaf if about cooked (in the oven for over an hour now) so I had better wrap up. I cannot say when I will blog again but I have enjoyed this time with you. If you would like any specific details about any of the things I blogged about today send we a SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope) or catch me in person when I have a Mattgarita or two in me and I will spill (not literally). Thanks a lot for coming back after so long; it warm the cockles of my heart to feel the love. Have a great night and however long it is until next time. TTT?...MITM (gone to mash potatoes) out. TA!