A Bunch of Bull & Teeth and Lots & Lots of Blogs!

I know you have been wondering, "what are some of the former Chicago Bulls up to?" so I thought I would fill you in. Michael Jordan just got banned from a Miami Beach golf course for wearing cargo pants on the course against the club's dress code. The course's dress code states that "members and guests must be attired in a collared shirt and Bermuda shorts." He's Michael Frickin' (Jeffery really though Frickin' would be an awesome MIDDLE name) Jordan. I wish I would have thought of "Frickin'" as a MIDDLE name when Splenda and Fabio were born; it could have become a family name. Scottie Pippin, as most of us know, played basketball with President Obama on the day of the Presidential election. And, as far as Dennis Rodman you can spend time with him tomorrow night for $59 or $129 for the VIP treatment. Saturday, December 1st you can watch a basketball game (on television in a bar) with Rodman. (here's a link) You get to ask him questions at half-time and you will automatically be entered in the "Dress Like Dennis" contest and you get two drink tickets and a "photo opportunity" with Dennis Rodman. For the $129 it sounds like you get open bar during the game and an autographed 16" x 20" photo of Dennis. I am tempted to call in sick to work but since I never have and I wrote that here now I probably won't. Hopefully I don't really get sick or they won't believe me though you're the only one who actually reads this blog so don't tell them okay?

Does it distract anybody else that period-piece films (westerns, colonial. pirate, past wars...) always have people with perfect teeth in them? Perfectly straight bright white teeth? It distracts from the realism for me. Straight, white teeth are fairly new to the masses I think. I get over it rather quickly but it always throws me back for a moment. Hollywood can make perfect wounds or a great looking zombie but they cannot do tooth make-up or use a prosthetic set of teeth?

I just saw that this is my 750th blog. If I had written one page of my novel a day like I have this blog (I have skipped a lot of days) I would have a pretty good book written by now. Or a pretty lengthy screenplay. But then I wouldn't have written this blog unless I had written twice as many pages. Next year, if the Mayans were wrong, (I still don't know if it's Maya or Mayans) I will have written my 1000th blog. Yikes!

I have to hurry and finish this because I didn't sleep much yesterday, I worked all night and now I am home and have taken my two Benadryls. I may fall asleep mid hunt-and-peck if I don't wrap this up soon. Remember to listen to this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast; it's a hoot. Last week's is pretty good too. And so on and so on and so on... I don't have to wake until about 3:15 so I can take Fabio to his trainer. The trainer must be helping because Fabio scored 19 points in yesterday's basketball game and he hit three of four three-pointers. He had a couple of great blocks too. They won my 19 points.

Okay this was a heck of a 750th blog day. Thanks a lot for being part of this ride so far I will jeep om keepin' on. I dozed off for a moment so I am done. TTT751 (maybe tomorrow)...MITM (out not looking a day over 725. TA!

Breast Awareness Blog!

Last night I wrote a blog and said that people on our busybodies and after sleeping on it I regretted saying that because it is 95% untrue. There are a few people on there that seem to be nosy and busybodies but most are not. I am guilty of focusing on the negative and I apologize. Also, I said that we are not going to put the white lights on the parkway tree. Again I was wrong....we are going to be putting up the lights. I must have thought I was gonna win Powerball and I was trying to cut ties with everyone before I won the big cash. I now know why Donald Trump is such an a-hole. Cash changes people and, in my case, just the hopes of cash turned me into a Trump. I hope I never win the lottery but I will probably still play so when you win there's more money in there.

Another reason for the parkway light flip-flop was that Cha Cha really wants to do it and she was going to do the lights herself and my buddy Brian Didier said that he thought that the lights would look nice. He is right but I still think the black lights would be funny. Incidentally, Cha Cha was never crabby about it as I may have made her sound. She doesn't read the blog so she would never know that I made her sound crabby but she is very seldom crabby and when she is I usually deserve it. So, as the powerful people would spin it... I have consulted with a couple of my top advisers (Cha Cha and Brian) and we have decided  that the lights would look nice.

I was getting tired of all of the pink in sports for Breast Awareness Month or quarter or half-year or however long it was and am happy that it is over. Actually I think it was Breast Cancer Awareness Month - I am always aware of breasts. I also love the color pink. It is very nice but to see people go out and beat the crap out of each other while being concerned about breast cancer seemed weird. If they were such caring people why do they beat the crap out of each other? Seems ironic to me. I will support breast cancer awareness while I collapse your lungs and spear you in the spleen.

I am very aware!!!!

It all makes sense now...it is the end of the month and my Mattstruation is always at the end of the month. I should really consider taking the ends of the months off from blogging. I do go stretches when I don't blog so maybe I should schedule these "periods" at the ends of the months.

I just gone done cleaning the kitchen and now it's time to start some laundry...I will keep the pinks separate and not use hot water on them. I will probably blog tomorrow because I will reread this and find out how I misquoted myself. I cannot help but think of the potato soup I made last night and think I may  head over to the kitchen and ladle me a bowl of that too. If you haven't already checked out this week's load of Dirty Laundry Podcast to find out why Lindsey Lohan was arrested at 4 AM this morning. She thought she was fighting with Cha Cha methinks.

TTTT...MITM (in) TA!

Has Christmas Been Banned?

Hello! I am finally getting to the blog. I have spent a great deal of the day editing Dirty Laundry Podcast and getting it uploaded to iTunes. It takes about three-and-a-half times longer to edit the show than it does to record it. It makes me wonder why talent gets paid s much and the behind the scenes people generally get paid far less in the entertainment world.
     A Charlie Brown Christmas is on right now. I have always liked this one. It won't be the same not seeing Dolly Madison commercials during the show. Thanks a lot for wrecking the holidays for me Hostess! Do you suppose Pig Pen's real name is Pig Pen? If your last name was Pen or Penn would you name your son Pig? Maybe it's a nickname but it's still pretty mean if that is the case. That reminds me - we got a flyer attached to our mailbox today requesting that everyone put white lights on their parkway trees. I told Fabio that I thought I would put black lights on our tree instead. Our neighborhood Facebook page has turned me pretty sour on the neighborhood. It's a bunch of gossips and busybodies. Not only that but have you ever tried to shovel the sidewalk with an extension cord crossing it? Count me out! Cha Cha says she wants to do it... You're a mean one Mr. Agitator! I guess we're going to do it. I am the Charlie Brown of this house for sure. When Lucy says we're doing it I just step in line. I am such a blockhead.

This is probably the last blog that I will write because I am winning a half-a-billion dollars+ on Powerball tonight and then I will have somebody write it for me. I will dictate it, when I have time while being filthy rich, but does that mean I write it? Boy, the podcast would get a lot better with that kind of money. We'd probably get some really big guests too. Rich people always have powerful and famous friends.

Lucy Van Pelt really is a mean bitch! Hey, Charlie Brown went 36 minutes and they are piggy-backing some show called Prep and Landing onto the back of Charlie Brown; sneaky, sneaky. See what happens when Dolly Madison isn't involved?

I just read where Pope Benedict has written a book and now people were thinking that Christmas was going to be cancelled? In his book The Infancy Narratives - Jesus of Nazareth the Pope wrote that in the scriptures there was not mention of animals in a stable rather Jesus was probably born in a cave. This is causing people to think that the Pope was going to cancel Christmas? I find a lot of people gullible but do these people really believe that talking animals and a little boy playing a drum were hanging out with baby Jesus? The official Catholic social network, XT3, even came out and said "The Pope has not banned Christmas." I didn't know that the Catholic church had their own social network. I bet they don't have porn on there.

Fabio just asked me what I want for Christmas. I have no idea what I want. I don't really want anything. Now I have to come up with some things I want; I really, really don't want anything. A gas station gift certificate? Cheese? iTunes gift card would be nice I guess.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you sleep well tonight. I think I will. I will probably blog again tomorrow but earlier than today. Have a great morning and I will blog you again sometime tomorrow. TTTThen...MITM (stuffed-up) TA!

Just Another Cyber Monday (oh, it's Tuesday)

I have not done much on the computer for a week. I haven't blogged since last Wednesday. I don't think I have been on Facebook for about three days. I cannot believe I haven't died from electronic media withdrawal (EMW) - patent/trademark/copyrights pending. I even missed Cyber Monday. I feel like life is passing me by. If the Mayans were wrong I will be a half-a-century old this next year and I think that is almost about enough for me. I have had and lost a lot of great friends. I have a family and some friends that I don't really deserve. I am not depressed and I haven't really thought these thoughts but they are just flowing from my fingertips onto this keyboard. I have lots more that I need to do and lots more that I want to do but if the Mayans were correct I can go to the happy hunting grounds feeling that I made a contribution. I hope this doesn't sound like a bummer because that is not how I feel. I have just accepted how things are and know I was capable of much more and I just squandered many opportunities and talents but that's the way life goes; which of us cannot say that we could have and/or should have done more with our talents and opportunities?

Tonight we will record Dirty Laundry Podcast. That is one of my highlights of the week. It is kind of a lot of work and time each week but I really enjoy doing the show. I have no idea what we are going to talk about on the show this week but we always seem to talk about too much by the time we are through. I take notes all week long and then pick and choose from the chaos that has spewed from my mind.

Apparently there have been rumors that Dolly Parton is gay. Firstly, I have never heard these rumors. Secondly, I don't really care if she likes chicks... I actually wouldn't blame her if she did. Guys smell and are selfish and self-centered and are too competitive.... I guess that pretty much shows that I am not gay; guys are idiots. Dolly, maybe you should reconsider not being gay. Anyway, she had come out (bad choice of words) and said she is not gay. She has had a friend named Judy Ogle "since like third or fourth grade" and she "loves her as much as anyone in the whole wide world" but they "are not romantically involved." Dolly has been married to the same guy for 40 years. I guess with this criteria Cha Cha might be gay too. She has been married to the same dude for 25 years. She has been friends with Nature Girl and MADYM forever. And they all three just spent the weekend in Iowa and we all know what Iowa is famous for! Actually, what is Iowa famous for? Field of Dreams? Out of context that makes a lot of sense.

I want to segue into talking about Elmo so I will. No, I wont. It might be pod-worthy though.

I have to get some stuff done. That's code for I don't know what else to write but don't tell anyone.  Have a great night and I will probably have more to blog about tomorrow. Thanks for dropping by. TTTT...MITM (audi)

Thanksgiving Eve Already? Really?

Wow, I am in a great mood. I know I don't say that too often but am happy when I do. Today is my only full day off. I never really thought about it until right now but on my other day off I actually work six -hours in that day. I better stop blogging about that because it's gonna be a blog-kill. I got a full night of sleep last night with the help of the good people at the McNeil Consumer Healthcare Division of McNeil-PPC, Inc. (the makers of Benadryl) and only four hours of sleep the previous night.

Cha Cha and I did not record the podcast last night; we are recording tonight instead. We decided to wait until tonight because we thought we would watch a movie to review on the show. She only works half-a-day today so we get to a see a MATTinee. Movies we want to see are: Skyfall, Flight and Lincoln. Hitchcock might come out today too or that may be Friday. I never really noticed until I types all of those movies that it appears that Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) has made it's way to the film industry. All of these films are one word titles. Maybe I could make a movie called Hitchcock Flight, Lincoln Skyfall. I am fairly certain that we are going to see Skyfall because that is the one that Cha Cha wants to see most. Maybe we we'll do a movie a week for awhile; it appears that the Black Friday / Christmas season has begun. I will probably repeat that ADD bit on the show tonight. I will still do my best to get the Dirty Laundry Podcast up by early tomorrow (Thanksgiving) morning so you can listen while you're mashing the potatoes and cranning the berries and whatever you are doing.

I still cannot believe I didn't know Thanksgiving was this week until two days ago. Could someone please let me know when Christmas is a week away? I will probably remember that one because it falls on a Tuesday (my Saturday) so I get Christmas and New Years Day night off. I work New Years Eve but we never go out that night anyway though we have gone to Brookfield Zoo a few times for New Years Eve, If you have young children I highly recommend the zoo on that night. I don't merely recommend it I HIGHLY recommend it. The Disney Prize Patrol is usually there and they do the countdown like at 8 or 9.
I am flipping back and forth between The American President and The Man Who Knew Too Little (both before the ADD crisis in America) on Encore East (ENCe) and Encore West (ENCw) even though I am recording them both in the Middlewest. I like both of these films a great deal. We have free Starz and Encore this weekend it appears. I check every weekend, mainly on holiday weekends, to see if any of the movie channels are free and more times than not there is one of the channels free on holiday weekends. I posted it on Facebook so my friends could check in their areas and I found out from my buddy Brian, that is him holding the sign promoting this blog at the Wisconsin State Capital in the MITM Facebook page, that is is not available in his part of the cheese state. I don't know if it's only DirecTV or only in my area or only at my house or what. Maybe they know that I blog and podcast and figured out a way to get some moron to plug their wares for free. Nicely played whoever played me. nicely played. But I love SWAG and this is pretty swaggy! In case you don't know SWAG is "stuff we all get" usually used for freebies. Apparently this isn't SWAG because Brian doesn't receive the free weekend.

It's funny how many people in The American President later would be on the television show The West Wing. Martin Sheen even went from Chief of Staff to becoming The President...nice! And Micheal J. Fox who worked on that political show on television where he was a Chief of Staff. Fox just said Fudge in the movie. Only he didn't say "fudge." He said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words. The F-dash-dash-dash word!

I need a haircut. I just ran my fingers through my hair sensually and found it to be too long (TWSS).

I have to get some stuff done around here before show time (movie and podcast) so I need to blog this a wrap. Thanks a lot for coming on by. I will probably blog again in the morning. Have a great Thanksgiving Eve. TTTT...MITM (gobbling out). TA!

Waste of Blog Space Today - But Quick and Painless

It was only a month or so ago and Jackie Chan was dead and now he's making a new film; reportedly his last action movie before he retires. I always knew he was amazing but movies from the other side? Wow! Anold Shortsweater and John Clod Vandamn got nothing on him (yes, I know they are spelled wrong but sometimes I just don't care).

I only slept for about three hours because I didn't take Benadryl. Even though I was extremely tired I didn't sleep long without aid. Is this called addiction? Insomnia? Guilt from deeds in a past life?

Today after school Fabio starts his workouts with his personal trainer. He's excited about it; let's see how he feels about it once he's done with today's training. I hope he sticks with it; I guess it's my job to make sure he does through encouragement and bribes and threats. How am I going to sponge off of him later if he doesn't get into the NBA or MLB or NFL or something?

Big Street year!

Tonight we record the podcast. I am not going to link Dirty Laundry Podcast today because you should know how to find it by now if you're so inclined. I hope I can stay awake for it. Have I mentioned that this laptop drives me crazy lately? Consider it mentioned.

I cannot believe I have been writing this with the television on as background noise and didn't realize Little House on the Prairie was on. It's half over but I am fairly sure I can surmise what has happened to this point. Oh, there's a conflict? And sadness? I love LHotP!

Who knew that Sesame Street would be so relevant in the last couple of months? Bid Bird helped to end Mitt Romney's Presidential aspirations and Elmo allegedly had inappropriate relationship with an underage boy/man (the actor who had his hand up Elmo's backside anyway).

I am not very creative in the writing department so far today. I had better end and save what little I have for the podcast. The blog happens everyday (or somewhere there abouts) but the podcast happens but once a week. Thanks a lot for your patience today. I will try to do better tomorrow. Have a great time until we meet again. TTTT...MITM (gone)

Fourscore and Seven Blogs Ago

Against zombies and in podcasting

I got my hands on one of the last boxes of Wonka's Scrumdilliumptions Bars Hostess Twinkies. I think I may wait and auction them off for charity. It's either that or hold onto them for the Zombpocolypse because when Woody Harrelson comes to town I want to get him on Dirty Laundry Podcast and we all know he will be looking for Twinkies.

Thanksgiving is almost here. Most people in America get Thursday and Friday off this week, Thursday for Thanksgiving and Friday for one of the most publicized new "holidays" of the year Black Friday. Do these people who take part in Black Friday not have the internet? I would tell them here that you can get better deals ordering stuff online than you can get at these sales without the chance of being trampled or pepper sprayed but they don't have the internet. If that's the part you like I could probably provide that service at a small cost so you can still feel like you are in the fight while ordering your items online and you can still save some money to do something like, say, pay your bills?

I work Thursday and Friday and I also get holiday pay for both of those days. I think this year, and every year hereafter if my schedule stays the same, I will call the day after Thanksgiving Green Friday (ka-ching). We also should have the new Dirty Laundry Podcast up by Thursday morning, probably even by Wednesday night, so you can listen while you're making the turkey... You can also share the show with the people from over the river and through the woods that you either go to see or that come to see you. I have a story about our Thanksgiving (the upcoming one) that I can share; aren't all of the holidays about stories really? Screwed-up family stories mostly. I will be right back - the washer and dryer are both playing my songs. The washer and dryer both play a little musical ditty when they are done; they both sound like the British marching into battle during the Revolutionary War. I am back - the dryer wasn't done so the wash has to sit and wait until their buddies get their acts into gear.

I am tweaking my diet because I am having a hard time with food again. I have a thousand excuses why and I am going to try to eat fowl again. I am still going to stay off of the pork and beef for now but with my options being so limited I am finding it too easy to turn to cookies and the crap that is killing me slowly. It is merely a coincidence that I am adding fowl on the week of Thanksgiving - I didn't think about that until right now.

Today is the day that one of the most famous of speeches in American history was given. When I wrote that I started to think about Martin Luther King, Jr. and John F. Kennedy and Neil Armstrong  (not a speech exactly)... The one that happened on this date was in 1863. It was Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. I know it by heart; I think we had to learn it in eight grade or something and I just remember it. It was easy because I heard it live; I was in eighth grade when the speech was delivered. I wish I lived in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania so I would have a Gettysburg address. I wonder if I can get a p.o. box there for the podcast? I wish I was off work tonight so I could go see Lincoln; it looks really good.

I don't think I will ever see a movie on opening weekend again. I am sure you heard about that guy who was planning to shoot up a theater with opening of one of those Twilight movie. I can wait for movies rather than have to dodge a lead rainstorm. Another reason to stay away from Black Friday - stay away from highly publicized crowds with high body-count potential. A lead storm might make Lincoln seem like a 3-D movie (bad joke, sorry).

Have a great night (or day if you're reading this in the day somewhere) and thanks for stopping on on. I will blog again tomorrow because it's my Saturday and I am always in a good mood and less tired on my Saturday. TTTT...MITM (baking potatoes) TA!

What is Santa without Ho Ho's?

I said I would blog today so I blog. I guess it is your Friday huh? Lucky! I suppose it's everybody's Friday but it some peoples' Friday more than others'. Sorry if I am salty but it's only my Tuesday and I only had a one day weekend; it was by my choice so I could get twelve hours of overtime but salt runs in my veins. Supposedly about 57% of our body weight is water (unless you're an infant then it's like 75% - if you're an infant congratulations on being able to read and do you need an agent?). I think my water is salt water.
I am getting pretty of tired working nights (pun sort of intended). I really like my job but I am missing out on a lot of life. Cha Cha is very patient but I know it is getting old for her to be alone and having to go to events and family gatherings and such alone. She doesn't say anything about it because she is not a complainer but it is tough on her. Maybe I am going to die soon and this is fate's way of easing her into being without me before it makes it poimanent (say that last word in your best Burgess Meredith / Mickey Goldmill voice). Maybe it is making us appreciate us even more than we already do. I know how lucky I am to have her and I think about it every day. She doesn't read the blog (maybe nobody does?) so don't tell her I said that if you read this.

I am not really sure what is going on in the news and I don't really care. I am tired about worrying about everybody else so I decided to take a day off of the news. Why do you suppose the news was invented? Because we're nosy by nature? I know we learn by other people and we are inspired by other people but the news has become only what is wrong with everything and everyone. Maybe that's a little of why I write the blog; to remind you and me that not everything is doom and gloom. Even if it is it is okay to make fun of things even when they are sensitive to some.

I am watching The Express while I write this, not to be confused with Pineapple Express. It is kinda weird that I mentioned Rocky (sort of) and now I mention a movie about Ernie Davis. Davis was a remarkable man; it's too bad that his life was cut short. I would say that my favorite kinds of films are the ones about underdogs and injustice and the overcoming of prejudice and injustices of all kinds at any cost. Good thing for me there is no shortage of those kinds of films. When I finally get my book/screenplay written I am certain that it will fall into this genre. Maybe it should be about a guy writing and book/screenplay and getting it produced. That sounds an awful like an "against all odds story."

Hostess in the MIDDLEwest here has called their union employees' bluff and decided to shut the doors and liquidate the company. Hostess includes Dolly Madison and Drakes. So, we may lose: Wonder bread, Twinkies, Sno-Balls, Ding Dongs, Suzy Q's, Ho Ho's, Zingers, CupCakes, Home Pride, Beechnut, Beefsteak, Donettes... How am I going to make my Twinkie/Zinger stuffing for Thanksgiving? Most of those things have probably helped to make obesity in America grow. Someone asked me, "why do you think the country is not gonna help 'bail-out' Hostess like they did with the automobile industry?" Since a big part of President and Michelle Obama's plan is to have healthy kids in our country I don't see that happening. We can do without snack cakes no matter how delicious they are. Maybe we can make our own? Duncan Hines stock will probably rise. I even guarantee that many of these cakes and goodies will go on. Those brand names listed up there are sponge cake gold and some company will buy those names and recipes and they will go on. It is sad that many, many people lost their jobs but they lost their jobs, partially, due to greed. I don't know the specifics but from what I have heard they were holding-out for more money and the company wasn't willing to pay. That's business. I imagine they were making a really nice union wage but it wasn't enough; they wanted more and now they have less. It really makes me want to play poker.


Now I have to go make dinner. Even though I have snack cakes on my mind I am probably going to make fish and rice instead though I guarantee Fabio would prefer snack cakes. I am not sure if I will blog tomorrow - it usually depends if I have something on my mind or I want to vent or I have made you a promise. I am not going to promise because I am not sure but if I do I will let you know. If you haven't listened to the new Dirty Laundry Podcast please listen - it's a good show and I am not biased at all (okay, maybe I am a little fond of Cha Cha on the show).

Have a great however long it is until I blog again. Thank you for stopping in - I really appreciate you. TTT (whenev)...MITM (out)

USPS, HOF, MITM and maybe some more acronyms

A Podcast Listener Rick?

I worked twelve hours yesterday and didn't much feel like blogging last night when I got home. I hope you survived without me. I also didn't feel like editing the podcast yesterday either but I just got done doing that today. Dirty Laundry Podcast is up and at'em. I am listening to the show on the computer while I write this blog. I will also download it onto Roz later. I cannot believe this is our 86th episode. In fourteen weeks we will be doing our 100th episode. We talk about a very big guest that may be coming to the show and maybe I will try to get him on the show for the 100th load of laundry.

I wish I could podcast full-time but since there is no money in it at this point it wouldn't make sense. Also, if I did nothing but podcast would I have anything to podcast about? We talk mostly about our everyday experiences so if we did nothing but podcast we would talk only about podcasting and would that be entertaining? I guess it wouldn't be much different than being a radio host because they do that for a job... hmmmmm. Very perplexing. It doesn't really MATTer at this point anyway. I guess step one would be to start selling advertisements huh? But, if I did that, wouldn't my job be to sell ads? I may as well just keep my job and podcasting as a hobby. Thanks for letting be hug talk blog it out. See what a great service you are offering by reading this blog. Keep reading it and you don't have to go to church or put money in those little red kettles that will be popping up soon.

I predict that in ten years there will be no United States Postal Service (USPS) and Best Buy as we know them now. The USPS is showing record losses and Best Buy is bleeding money too. I hate getting Christmas cards in the mail so I won't really miss the USPS and I hate Black Friday and Best Buy seems to be one of the biggest Black Friday offenders. Best Buy will still be around but I predict this will be the last Christmas that they are as big as they are now. I say they will down-size their stores and sell more on-line that they now do within thirteen months. I would love for all of the mom and pop stores to come back to revitalize main street America. I heard Wal-Mart isn't doing as well as they have in the past either. I would love if we had a nice downtown and I would go to the bakery for my bread and the butcher for my meat (if I ate red meat) and the cobbler for my shoes... More people to sell podcasting ads to LOL.

Did you know that there is a Toy Hall of Fame (I linked it there for you)? There are two new inductees into the THOF. The finalists this year were: Twister, Magic 8-Ball, Star Wars figures, Lite-Brite, Fisher-Price corn popper, dominoes, the tea set, Simon and Clue. The two new member are Star Wars figures and dominoes. Star Wars figures could not be reached by MITM for comment but dominoes said, "we've been around since the 1300's; it's about damn time." (they said it in Chinese though) Before the vote Magic 8-Ball knew said, "outlook not good," which proved it should be in the next year.

I have to make dinner and maybe get a nap in. Thanks a lot for stopping in and for listening to the podcast. Did I mention the new podcast is ready for your auditory enjoyment? I am too lazy to scroll up (not really, I just wanted to pretend like I am so I can mention it twice). Have a great night. Stay warm if you're in the MIDDLEwest. I will probably blog tomorrow so I hope something exciting happens for your sake. TTTT...MITM (truning Japanese...I really think so). Sayonara.

Is Our Fiat Brainwashing Us?

Today is Friday, Saturday and Sunday all rolled into one. It does make things less complicated. I get to work tomorrow. It has been a long time since I was in a job where I was able to make overtime pay. I have been one of those idiots who has worked for salary and worked many extra hours for no extra pay; I like getting paid more when I do more. I only seems fair when I work twelve hours on my day off I get paid for eighteen I think, Don't tell them but they probably could have had me at fifteen.

Tonight we are going to record the new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast. I really enjoy doing the show. I like that people like it and I think it's really cool that we are listened to by people all over the world. I wish some of the people who listen to us in other countries would contact us but just knowing that they listen is humbling. There really aren't that many people who contact us in this country either. We get four or five letters a month but wish we got more. It's fun to read the letters on the show and hear what people have to say.

Tuesdays are the days that I have the hardest time blogging because I am trying to save things for the podcast. I guess I could overlap things but I don't really want to do that; I want them both to be fresh - like me.

I have to go with Cha Cha to the doctor soon, She is going to some kind of hearing specialist and they want me to go with. Something about using me for the testing because I am someone that she talks with regularly. She has been hard of hearing for quite awhile and she has tried several "over-the-counter" (if that is the right term in this case) hearing devises/aids. This one we are going to get her tested for is an actual professional or industrial or whatever term fits here devise. Sometimes I like that she cannot hear some of the things I am up to but I hope for her that this works. I worry that she won't like the podcast as much if she can here well..

Dirty Laundry Brainwashing

We have to start heading East to get her tested so I have to cut this short. I will blog more tomorrow and let you know how this goes. She is upstairs getting ready and she will give me crap when she comes down here - guaranteed! I an watching Little House on the Prairie and she always gives me crap about watching this show. I never watched it when it was on but it is one of my innocent pleasures (I have nothing to be guilty about). It was a simpler time even though it was a tougher time. I will talk at you tomorrow in blog and in pod. Thanks a lot  for being my "dear diary." Enjoy the nice MIDDLEwest cold weather - it is gonna get worse before it gets better. If you have nice weather - good on ya mate! I am jealous but I am happy for you. That reminds me... we are talking about going to Italy on the summer. I am not sure why we decided on Italy but that's what she we decided. TTTT...MITM (ciao). Maybe the Fiat is going to her head...there's brainwashing in them there cars. TA

B.L.O.G. (Better Life Obtainable Guaranteed!)

Happy (your) Friday.

Life is not all about who is better; life is a lot about politics. Ironic, with the Presidential Election just ending and I am going to talk about politics; I thought I wouldn't talk about politics for another four years or so. This has to do more with politics in growing up and high school sports. Fabio did not make the cut for the sophomore basketball team and there are at least a couple of players that made the team that he is a lot better than. I haven't talked to the coach yet to find out the reason he didn't make the team but I will. I am not one of those a-hole dads who do this but just so we know what to work on. The last two days have been parent/teacher conferences at their school so I will wait until Monday. In addition to Fabio being better than a couple of the players there are at least two of the boys who are juvenile delinquents always in trouble and getting suspended and such but I guess teams need Dennis Rodman's too huh? I reminded Fabio that Michael Jordan didn't make his high school team either when he was a sophomore. He responded, "I am not Michael Jordan." I said, "he wasn't Michael Jordan when he was a sophomore in high school either. Well, he was but he wasn't the Michael Jordan we all know now." Fabio had always said that he didn't want to play basketball at the varsity level but I think this will change his mind from the way that he is talking. I offered to get him into a training program to build his strength and speed and he seemed open to it. My friend Debbie T. also suggested that he play intramural basketball at school. He seemed like that is something that would be fun for him and I think he would like being one of the best players in the league (like Michael Jordan). We'll see what happens and he is not sad but I can tell that he is  really disappointed. This is one of those points in life that we can see what we are made of and what is important. A cross-road has arrived.

I am so run-down. I wonder if this cold is trying to find a home in me again. I think I only slept for about four hours and I have to work in six hours so maybe I will try to get some more sleep. Next week I get to work an extra day (twelve hours of overtime working for ESPN sort of - I could tell you more but then...never mind...I can't).

I think that is it for today. Tomorrow? Maybe, maybe not. I hope you have a great whatever you want to have a great of. Thanks for stopping in. TTTNT (next time)...MITM (gone) TA!

A Very Merry Un-Blogday to You, to You!

Just got home from taking Fabio for his basketball physical. He is perfectly healthy. He is still in the top 96 percentile in the height department for his age. I am happy that he takes after Cha Cha's side of the family because I am the tallest one in my family (parents, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...) and I am only 5'9" (MIDDLE by most American measurements but Bigfoot surrounded by my clan). Thanks to Cha Cha's lineage there is hope for the Helser descendants getting out of The Shire.

Today is Bram Stoker's 165th birthday and it's my guess that he is still alive somewhere. I bet Dracula is on television today or tonight somewhere. In case you are unfamiliar Bram Stoker is the Irish gent who wrote Dracula. His real first name was Abraham; can you imagine President Bram Lincoln? Bra would have been better for Lincoln. Filmmaker John Borowski is on the newest load of Dirty Laundry Podcast and I have to wonder if it's a coincidence or fate with it being Stoker's birthday since John's first three films have been documentaries about serial killers. Count Dracula has to be one of the most famous serial killers of all time. The main difference between he and Borowski's subjects is that Dracula was fictional and H.H. Holmes, Albert Fish and Carl Panzram were not. One of my favorite parts of doing the podcast, with spending time talking to Cha Cha as my #1 favorite, is that I have met so many really great people that I consider good friends now.

I noticed that fuel prices went up pretty quickly after the election was over. I also heard that gun stock, the kind that you buy to benefit from a company's profits not the kind that you hold the gun against your body with, sales went up. I cannot help but think that the fuel prices were lower pre-election to get us to vote a certain way and the stock sales are due to people buying stocks because they are counting on gun sales to rise for fear of tougher regulations coming soon. Everything is about money in this country and I think it's a shame. I voted the way I did despite all of these issues.

The Matt Hatter!!!

Does the Tea Party still exist? I think I want to start the Sun Tea Party. Maybe the Earle Grey Party. I also like Chamomile. Maybe we could combine the Green Party and the Tea Party and, do I need to say it?, The Green Tea Party!

I think I am going to make a big salad and get some stuff done before I have to get some other stuff done. Thank you, as always, for sharing some of your time with me reading the blog. I hope you have a great day and night. I am pretty sure I will be back here tomorrow sometime. TTTT...MITM (salading out). TA! Salad really should be a verb don't you think?

Guess Who I Voted For (again)!

I was dreading to have to pack to move to Canada today but I am really happy to stay in America. I love Canada and I will, one day probably, be proud to be Canadian with tri-citizenship, but I hate packing and moving. I also love America but I was afraid of what direction it was headed if things would have wound up differently last night. Thank you to the people of Wisconsin for showing us that we made the right decision about Paul Ryan (cannot even win his own state) and the good people of Michigan and Massachusetts (where Romney was from and where he was Governor) to show us that we made the right choices because you must know these men better than we do and the three of you say they are not worthy. Why do Canadians never say they are moving to America? That should tell us something.

One thing I cannot believe is that Jesse Jackson, Jr. is still a Congressman in Chicago. He has been out of commission for months and months and has been accepting campaign donations even though he hasn't really been running/campaigning from The Mayo Clinic. His wife has been doing all of his campaigning because of his bi-polarness or whatever ailment or disease he has. I have a feeling there will be some bigger scandal come out of this before it's all over. I don't know much about him but if you don't campaign how can you win? How do you win by just putting your name on the ballot? He wife is gorgeous and he is handsome and he has the name Jesse Jackson so maybe name and looks do mean a lot more than they should - which is why I do a podcast and a blog where you don't ever have to see my hideousness. Damn you ugly stick - damn you all to Hellser!

Imagine what our country could do with all of the money that was spent on all of the campaigns by candidates. Throw in all of the money that was wasted on the new technologies and the new equipment and graphics for all of the news agencies bought to cover the political scene for the past year and we would be easily able to get rid of the national defecate and probably make college educations free for everyone the next 300 years. It's better to keep the rich rich I suppose (at least they think so)

The ancestors of drug dealers

Marijuana and same sex marriage were huge in many states on the ballots. One day marijuana will be okay universally and we'll wonder what the big deal was; just like we wonder what the deal with Prohibition was with alcohol. I have never smoked marijuana but I love the smell of skunks so I cannot wait to try it one day but "law and order every time is my motto" (most some of the time when convenient). Same sex marriage is going to be nationally acceptable very soon too; many states are showing that it is okay already. I think same-sex marriage is great. If you love someone you should be able to be with that person and be a part of each other's lives with the same advantages and disadvantages as opposite-sex marriages. I, personally, have never tried same sex (and I am very, very certain that I never will because dudes are gross - I don't know how all women aren't lesbians) but why is my way the right way for you? It isn't!

If you read yesterday's blog you know that I went to the doctor and was preparing my excuse for not going to get my tests done since last visit (scroll down to yesterday's blog for details). Turns out they apparently don't put that info in the computer and she didn't even know she wrote me up the lab work orders and now I am supposed to go before my next visit in May. And, even better news, We won't even talk colonoscopy for another year. I guarantee I will lose those orders. Another thing that was odd, I thought, my weight was EXACTLY the same as it was at my last visit. That doesn't make me too happy because I had let it slip a little back up prior to then but I was delighted that it hadn't gone up more.

For someone who says he's not very political I sure am wordy when I am not getting political. I have to finish editing the podcast this morning. I worked on it for about three hours yesterday and it should be up later this morning; I will let you know but there are still plenty of older ones to listen to if you're behind in the meantime. Dirty Laundry Podcast is where to find it (like Dirty Laundry Podcast on Facebook too!)

I had a lot more on my mind but my mind decided that it had better things on its mind and it took over. Tomorrow I will trump my mind and blog about what I want to blog about rather than what she wants to blog about. Yes, I said "she" - we all know that our smart parts are "shes." Thanks for stopping in and sorry if we differ on anything I may have blogged today but isn't that what makes our country great? That and spray cheese? TTTT...MITM (out to be proud to be American again now that the embarrassing campaigning is over) TA!

AND BLOG BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (AND THE REST OF THE WORLD)

Election Excuses For Bloggies!

Apparently no computers for these Dixvillians!

We lived through the end of daylight savings time and do you know what I did not hear one time? I did not hear that I should change the batteries in my smoke alarms. Is that only when daylight savings time begins and not when it ends? The battery manufacturers are really missing out on taking some of our money if that is the case. They could double their sales if the tried to convince us of something stupid twice a year. Don't the smoke alarms "chirp" when the batteries are getting low?

It's election day for most of you. Cha Cha and I voted eight days ago and we won't have to fight the craziness today...woo hoo. For the first time in the history of the stupid voting facts we'll hear today Dixville Notch, Hew Hampshire, the first place to vote and be counted in the United States, ended in a tie. There are only ten registered voters and they ended up five-to-five. Maybe, so this doesn't happen again, they should get one more or get rid of one voter so they have an odd number. Speaking of voting...I cannot believe that with computers the way we have them now we have to have an Electoral College. Why can't we count each vote electronically? I think I am going to print Electoral College sweatshirts and T-shirts. What year was in established? I had to change the subject a bit so I didn't try to come with an insanely funny Dixville Notch joke. Probably something like "all the Dix down in Dixville" with a bunch of Seussian rhymes. I may still do it before this blog is done.

Today is my Saturday. Right now is like my Friday night and then tonight is like my Saturday morning. I know you get tired of me saying that but it is more for me so I remember what I have to do each day/night. Fabio has basketball try-outs after school. I don't think he cares whether he makes it or not. I hope he makes it, of course. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I guess I am too healthy. I do have borderline hypertension, that's fancy for high blood pressure, and they make me come every now and then to take some of my insurance money. I don't know if you remember...the last time I was there they gave me a sheet of paper that I was supposed to go and have a bunch of tests done. Blood and urine and such. I guess that happens when you get to be late MIDDLE-aged. This is the second time they gave me the papers and I didn't go. The last time they didn't mention the papers from the previous time so maybe they won't this time either. I have to pre-MATTitate my excuse. The dog ate the papers? Flood? Locust? I forgot? I had a bone in my leg? I didn't feel like it? What tests? I will probably come up with some amalgam combined of many of the afore mentioned excuses. I will just wing it - I am better under pressure. Maybe religious objections or conflicts. Those are never questioned.

I have to try to get some sleep before my doctor's appointment or my excuse is going to be shoddy. While I sleep I am going to have visions of ballot-plums dancing in my head. I hope all of the Dix down in Dixville are wrong; could you imagine a tie? What happens then? Romney becomes Obama's Vice President because Obama is already President? Obama becomes Obama's Vice President because there is a Republican Congress? Do you like Kid Rock or Bruce Spingsteen better? Kid Rock is travelling with Romney and Springsteen is travelling with Obama. I would have imagined it opposite for some reason. I wanna know who Justin Bieber would travel with or is he Canadian? Okay, I am gonna sleep for a few hours and go to the doctor. Wish me luck (on the excuse). Thank you for stopping by and for stopping in regularly.  It looks like Wisconsin is leaning toward Obama...isn't Ryan from Wisconsin? ENOUGH!!!!! TTTT...MITM (the new podcast should be up by tomorrow, hopefully). TA! I will advise

What would you do if you had a FREE hour?

Tomorrow night Daylight Savings Time ends. I am not going to go off on my jag about how Daylight Savings Time is stupid. It was very healthy, wealthy and wise when Benjamin Franklin thought of it because farmers needed the extra daylight to plow their fields with oxen and horses but with the GPS systems in the air conditioned tractors with lights that could light up New York City we really don't need Daylight Savings Time anymore. I guess telling you that I wouldn't complain about it sorta complained about it huh? Anyway, tomorrow night / Sunday morningI have to work an extra hour because 2AM or 3AM or whatever hour we repeat happens twice. So, I get to work nine hours instead of eight but the great part is that I get an hour of overtime. Hey, why don't we send a bunch of combines to New York City to light it up? Nevermind, they wouldn't be able to fuel them up. I am trying to remember if I was ever working during the time change before and when I worked at the comedy club we were usually out of there by about 1:30AM so I don't think I have. When I work the Spring Ahead one do I only get to work 7 hours that night? I suppose so but then I am still ahead 1/2 hour's pay on the year right?

Have you seen all of the fight over fuel on the east coast? If this is any indication of what it's going to be like on December 22nd I am not really looking forward to it.

This feels like a Saturday. Fabio only had a half day of school for some reason or another and Cha Cha took a day off work. It seems like she is feeling better. I am still fighting the residual effects of this cold and she seems fine. I guess her taking a few days off of work to sleep and let the cold run it's course faster was wiser than me continuing to work and stay sick. So I get to use the phrase healthy, wealthy and wise again. Wealth in health and wisdom that is.

I heard that Montgomery Burns of The Simpsons is voting for Mitt Romney. Clint Eastwood, Lindsay Lohan, Meatloaf and Monty Burns. How can he lose with a stellar line-up like that? Meat Romney, LOL. I know you probably think I am making up the Mr. Burns endorsement so HERE IS THE VIDEO that proves it. Vote wisely on Tuesday Americans. Do the right thing Wisconsin, Ohio and which ever MIDDLE states are still swing states. Do the MIDDLEwest proud! What state do the Simpsons live in again?

I listened to the new Dirty Laundry Podcast last night and I am pretty happy with the way it turned out for two sick people doing it (the podcast that is). I was worried that it wasn't very good but it is pretty good. I am very excited to have filmmaker John Borowski back out to be on the show again this next week. If you are looking to camp-out for photos and autographs he will be here Sunday or you could just go to The House Cafe in Dekalb Sunday at 5PM and meet him and talk to him and watch his films. Check out the House's website...the John Borowski appearance is partially brought to you by Dirty Laundry Podcast - we're show promoters now too I guess...cool!

I think I am going to lie down a bit. I am gonna try Cha Cha's theory of resting to get rid of this cold. I always admit that she's smarter than me but then I forget it and she reminds me by her example. Have a great weekend; I doubt that I will blog again until Monday. If I do I will let you know. Thank you for stopping in and if I don't talk to you before the extra hour tomorrow night - use that extra hour to solve world hunger or cure a disease or something. I would but I will be working - it's all on you! TTTM?...MITM (gone) TA!

The Studio is Haunted - I Swear it is Haunted!!!!

Is this the wrong JCP?

When did J. C. Penny's come JCP? Does it have to do with the dumbing down of our society? Is it quicker to text? I know there has to be a reason but I cannot help but wonder what the reason is. Maybe business has gone up for Kentucky Fried Chicken when they became KFC and Penny's wants to try that same philosophy? Maybe I should always call this MITM instead of Matt In The Middle. 

It's November first so what's next Thanksgiving? And then Christmas. The year is almost gone. We only have about 52 days until December 22nd. I am not sure whether to not buy Christmas gifts this year because we will be gone by the 25th of spend all of my money buying really great gifts and giving them early because I won't need the money when we find the Mayans were right and I will be dead. Do you think this is a plot by retailers like JCP? I usually wait to do my shopping so maybe I will just wait until the 23rd when the end of the world sales begin.

I am tired of my laptop being a spy for advertisers. I trust my laptop to keep things she and I discuss privately but she has sold me out. I get ads linked to Words With Friends and Facebook...that are specific to places I have visited recently (Carbondale to look for vehicles for instance). I get pop-up ads from auto dealers in Carbondale, Illinois. I also got ads from Jimmy John's one night after I was looking at their menu to see what I wanted on my tuna sandwich. I know with the creation of the digital video recorder (DVR) that allows us to zip through commercials they have to find other ways to try to get our hard-earned money but this sucks. There are far more product placements in television shows and movies but that's fine with me. People would really drink Pepsi and eat Dorito's and drive Chevy's so throw those in the shows and movies but quit popping me up! It actually does just the opposite for me; it makes me resentful and not want to buy these products. So now I will drink Diet Coke and eat carrots and drive Fiat and Toyota.
I have to work on getting the podcast up again this morning. Hopefully, now that Halloween is over, the ghost in the machine is gone until next year. It's weird how the program was seeming to do whatever it wanted despite what I commanded it to do. Maybe the end of the world will be machines taking over and I am starting to get a small taste of it. Maybe computers are tired of getting "commanded" to do things. I am going to try to gently suggest things when I go to finish editing Dirty Laundry Podcast and see if that helps. Have a great day and hopefully I will have to podcast up this morning. Watch the Dirty Laundry Facebook page for updates. Wish me luck fight the evil spirits that wish to stop you pod-listening. Okay I went down and got the podcast uploaded and this is going to sound like a lie but I swear on the lives of everyone I love that this is true (I thought I was kidding about the spirits). I went back down to the studio and began the final edits of the show and while I was working on the edits the light bulb in the ceiling lamp directly above the desk/computer exploded and glass rained down on the keyboard. After that the editing went off without a hitch and I got the show edited and it is uploading now. I must admit that I was creeped-out to stay down there and finish but the pod must go on so I did. So, basically, the studio is haunted and next week I have filmmaker John Borowski on the show who makes documentaries about serial killers. It's a good thing that I love to podcast and now I know why nodody wants to be Cha Cha for a day next week. TTTT...with the grim grinning ghosts who seem to want to do more than socialize! now I have to replace a light bulb and clean up glass. Now I thought I heard an eery voice from the basement but it is the dog snoring in the other room (at least that is what I am gonna tell myself). See you on the other side. TA!