Matt in the Middle: Sláinte!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sláinte!

Mr. Peanut's lawyers could not prove those were my shoes

cue the music (it's like a dream although I'm not asleep)

Sláinte! Top of the bloggin' to ya! And, in honor of St. Mattrick's Day, my Irish eyes are not smilin'. I am a little salty this morning (TWSS). I went over this morning to perform one of my usual Thursday rituals, donating plasma, and you'll never, ever, ever guess what happened. I was denied...stick save by the Proteins' goalie. I probably consumed more food-related protein yesterday than all of you combined. I had 3 protein shakes yesterday (one with two scoops), I had 2 shrimp egg rolls, I ate wasabi soy sauce almonds off and on all day, I had a Weight Watchers tuna noodle gratin meal which I added and entire can of tuna to on top of their tuna, I had two protein bars and more I cannot even remember. Basically, I am going to become Fat Matt again just to build my protein levels to where they should be. That's not even why I am salty. I logged onto Facebook just now to get caught up and begin blogging you and my "so-called" Facebook friend Mr. Peanut is wanting me to join is March Madness brackets pool. Talk about adding insalt to injury. Listen here Mr. Peanut Downey Junior I don't take very kindly to intimidation or taunting; it drives me nuts. Do something about my protein and I will do something for you. I guess my displaced aggression toward Mr. Peanut is unwarranted but it seems he must be locked into some National Plasma Protein Database and is targeting me on Facebook; I may have to un-friend him. Maybe a restraining order is necessary because I surely don't want to get asalted. Donating plasma obviously removes protein from my body because Thursdays are when I have the protein problem from donating on Tuesdays.

Is there a protein-deficiency telethon? I heard this morning that a bunch of big stars are getting together to form a Band Aid-type group (my St. Patrick's Day Irish/British tie-in). They are going to do a "Do They Know it's Christmas?" / USA for Africa "We Are The World" kind of song for disaster relief for Japan.These songs must help these causes or they wouldn't keep doing them right? If they help I am happy that they are doing this. I truly hope that these types of things aren't just vehicles for these stars to gain exposure. I like to believe that these people are similar you and I and actually care about other people in the world. Maybe to promote the blog and the Dirty Laundry podcast debut (April 1st - you knew I would get it in here somewhere) I should get a bunch of stars together to do a Dirty Laundry song. I should get together stars like: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Robert Blake, OJ Simpson, Gilbert Gottfried... and even stars who were formerly in trouble like: Winona Ryder, Robert "Mr. Peanut" Downey Jr., George Michael, Brittany Spears... Go ahead Saturday Night Live; just mention me or let me be in the sketch when you do it (not yet...too soon).

I am thinking about going to spend another night in the Hotel Arista soon because I really like this pen. The Sugar Toad restaurant had a really good selection of teas too.

Donny and Marie Osmond are set to spend the winter in the MIDDLEwest. I am not saying that they are spending time on Mattgarita Island and appearing on Dirty Laundry but you'll have to listen all of December to find out. Their primary reason for visiting the MIDDLEwest is for their Donny and Marie - Christmas in Chicago show from December 6th to the 24th at The Oriental Theater. I remember watching their variety show as a kid and I enjoyed it. I even remember having a couple of Osmond Brothers cassettes (before, 8-tracks, CD's, ipods...existed) because I was "a little bit rock and roll." If I wanted to "shuffle" my tunes I had to hit the "FF" button (fast forward) or the "Rewind" button (fairly self-explanatory) on my little (kinda big, actually) cassette player (the Walkman hadn't even been invented yet). Tickets for Donny and Marie's Christmas show are on sale now. The show is supposedly similar to to their television shows Donny and Marie (1976-1979 and 1998-2000).

I tried to type faster but it didn't help. I am going to do something now that I haven't done all winter; I am going to get a hair cut. I like it a little longer because I am not very attractive and the longer hair makes my a little less hideous. Sometimes a really nice frame can make a really ugly painting look almost good enough to hang in your basement or bathroom. Thanks for stopping by today. I haven't mentioned it in awhile but I do appreciate you spending some time with me every day (when you can - no pressure). Have a great day and eat some corned beef for me but save me some cabbage. TTTT...MITM (Slán go fóill). May ya have a half-an-hour in Heaven before the devil knows you're dead!

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!