I Was Born Barefoot!

The Million Smiles Mobile? Is that a big mole or what?

Matt In The Middle...now available in HD!
cue the music

I ran into this photo of the Little Debbie Snack Cake camper coincidentally. I thought it was really creepy looking. I think it would look really funny getting pulled by the Oscar Mayer Wiener draggin' wagon. You want to talk about good health rollin' down the highway. It would be even funnier if the Ghostbusters ambulance was chasing it.

Last night I worked on the book. I think I have the entire first chapter written. I am not sure how to measure my progress in the right margin there. I won't know what percentage of the book is done until I know how long the book is gonna be and I won't know that until I am finished writing the book. So, I will just put some phony bologna (OSCAR MAYER) number there until I am finished and then it will say "100."
I have found that technology has made it intolerable for me to do only one thing at a time. While I blog I usually listen to iTunes. While I write I usually have the television on even though I am totally ignoring it. While I drive I am steaming dinner on the manifold while I listen to the ipod plugged into the car while there is a VCR playing movies in the back. Technology is supposed to make our live easier, and it does, but it has made me its slave just for slave's sake. I think this is the reason I am starting to read more again. However, when I was reading yesterday I was hooked up to a machine from outer space that pumps my blood out of my body, removes the plasma and pumps my blood back into me. I was also listening, ignoring but listening, to Roz. I AM A SLAVE TO TECHNOLOGY! I love technology but think that technology may be part of my fascination with Mark Twain and Hannibal, Missouri...it reminds me of a simpler time.

I dream of a world where I don't need to wear shoes. I don't know if I ever told you this but I was born barefoot.

      Newsweek has named Chicago, Illinois (basically the capital of The MIDDLEwest) as America's Hottest City for 2011. Does that mean that Rahm Emanuel is hotter than Oprah Winfrey? New York is now the "Second City?" I don't want to downplay this but how can they decide the 2011 hottest city when we are barely into the third month of the year? It sounds like Rahm pulled some strings to try to make people come to the city to help it get out of financial troubles during his first year in office. I am not saying that is a bad thing, in fact, that's what he should do with his influence as the mayor. That's why he was my candidate for mayor. Chicago is nice but it's no Hannibal, MO! I am going to start the rumor right now that Saturday Night Live will begin taping in Chicago next season and Second City is moving to New York. Letterman is moving to Chicago but Kimmel is staying put in Los Angeles. When you think of it doesn't taping talk shows that deal with celebrities make sense to be done where celebrities work and most of them live, right?
      Last night Jimmy Kimmel had Howard Stern, who I like a lot, and Michael Franti, who I have played here many, many times and like a lot, on his show. I cannot say enough about JKL (Jimmy Kimmel Live!). That show is what Late Night with David Letterman used to be when I was in college; there must be more freedom being on at 11:30 MIDDLEtime. Kimmel has always been cutting edge though (The Man Show, Crank Yankers...). I guess JKL is so hot that Mr. New York, Howard Stern, thought it smart to fly to the other coast. I think Stern has something brewing with Charlie Sheen. He did mention that Sheen has an open-invitation to his own show on XM-Sirius radio. Howard also said that they gave Sheen a microphone and he can interrupt the show from his house anytime he wants to...sharky Stern smells blood and he flew across the country to feed and JKL just happened to be near where his chum bucket was; that's how he became the self-proclaimed King of All Media I suppose.

I let this one run long because the "hits" have been down here the last couple of days and maybe people feel they aren't getting enough value for their blog dollars and more is better right? They aren't getting value for their zero dollars? That's depressing. I hope my book, if ever completed, does better. Also, I never know how the weekends are gonna go and I want to give you enough to get you through the weekend. I will blog tomorrow though (after Fabio's last basketball tournament of the season), if you're interested (I will even if you're not probably). Have a Fri-tastic Day! TTTT...MITM. ("we sure are cute for two ugly people")

cue the music - play us out Hal