Sugar Momma Houdini Has Escaped!

Happy first day of Winter. Winter came in like a lion in the MIDDLE last night; a lion with a really really bad case of dandruff. Driving home from the hospital last night was crazy as there were accidents everywhere; slow down and pay attention (duh). And then this morning I got out the Head & Shoulders (snow blower) and the driveway is dandruff-free.

Actual E.R. photo of Sugar Momma's surgery

After cleaning the driveway I went over to hospital (I didn't say "the" hospital because I wanted to sound British) and sprung Sugar Momma. The surgery went well once they got her sedated. From what the doctors and anesthesiologist told me Sugar Momma was quite a handful prior to the surgery. She confirmed all of what they said. I guess they didn't want her completely unconscious for the surgery because if she would begin vomiting she would have choked to death without them knowing so they basically just needed her tranquilized. They put the breathing tube down her throat and she began vomiting so then they put some topical ointment in her throat but that didn't help. They ended up having to give her cocaine to calm her down.  Hospitals rock....they gave me morphine and her cocaine! I guess the coke wasn't even enough as she managed to get her hands out of the restraints (maybe it gave her super-momma strength) and pull the tubes from her throat (Sugar Momma Houdini) and the anesthesiologist told her this morning that she even hit him. I guess she kept telling them that they didn't know what they were doing and maybe they should try something else. It all ended up going well other than that. With all of the E.R. commotion they decided to keep her over-night to make sure her breathing was not a problem. I think they were really testing her blood and stuff to see where she got She-Hulk strength enough to destroy the entire E.R. She says she is going back to work tomorrow. She's lying in bed right now working on her work computer and she's been out of hospital (British accent no extra charge) for less than a fort-night (is that an hour?).

FEED THE WORLD!!!! (my favorite Christmas song)

I received a very nice and thoughtful package (TWSS) yesterday from a dear old friend (the person is not old but we have been friends for around 40 years). A little over three hours of Christmas music (becasue he sent me three year's worth). I must honestly say that I am very selective in my Christmas listening (you already know I'm somewhat of a humbug) but the discs I received were just the Christmas songs I like; they are exactly what I would have picked for myself. Songs like: Hardrock, Cocoa and Joe, Do They Know It's Christmas (feed the world), Christmas Time (Charlie Brown), Elf's Lament, Baby, It's Cold Outside...I guess I can't list all 51 songs, yes I counted them. I am listening to them now and loading them onto Roz's Christmas playlist. I cannot thank you enough J.R; you are single-handedly going to get me in the Christmas spirit.

I am getting a cold. I haven't been sick in about two years and I am getting sick now. I think there is a direct correlation between stress and illness and I have not been as stressed as I used to be since eating all of the government cheese. I think maybe Sugar Momma being sick so much lately has stressed me out. Maybe it was going to hospital and being around all of the sickies. I am glad Sugar Momma came home because if she weren't here all of the plants would die. She was gone one day and the 52" television won't turn on - it's dead; and then depression set in. We are a carefully balanced Helser eco-system and cannot function without our Sugar Momma; we think we could but we really know that we can't.

Oh, sure NASA gets to see it.

The darn weather last night prevented us from seeing the lunar eclipse. I really wanted to see that one too. The last one was in the 1600's and the next one is gonna be in like 2094 or something. I don't think I'm going to enjoy it as much at 136 years old but I guess I will just have to wait. Consider this your save-the-date invitation so we can watch it together. Maybe in 84 years we can actually watch a full Earth eclipse from the moon. That is if that lady from Spain that owns the moon let's us stop by.

Speaking of Christmas spirit and traveling to the moon...tomorrow is my big blog interview with Jolly Old Saint Nick (Santa Claus); I am so excited. People have sent me a few questions that they want me to ask the jolly old elf but I doubt that you want me asking all of my questions as you know I am mischievous and cannot be trusted to drive this sleigh alone. Send me your questions today or tonight: here, on my facebook or email them to me at mattgarita@msn.com. Have a nice winter wonderland of a day. TTTT...MITM (soon to be with Santa).