Boobs and Farts...These are a Few of My Favorite things!

Why does one of the headlights go out in the car in the winter? Also. whatever happened to the nice large light bulbs that were easy to get to and to change? Now you have to almost take the entire front quarter panel off the car to get to this little itty bitty light bulb. My hands are all cut up and my back hurts and I have frostbite. Some of that is untrue but not by much.

While I was out changing the headlamp I realized that I cannot find my scarf so I have decided to let my beard grow until Spring though I plan to keep it neatly quaffed, though plans can change. I always have 5 o'clock Somewhere shadow (patent/trademark/copyright) but that is by design. I actually have my trimmer set so that I can have constant 5 o'clock Somewhere shadow. I have been told that I don't have much of a chin and it appears to be a chin if I have hairs on my chinny chin chin. It's probably the same theory of mascara or eyeliner and such. Life is all about creating illusions.

This is MY ACTUAL FLARP! Jealous?

Last night we went out to dinner and a movie as a family. It was really nice. we went to see Gulliver's Travels and you know I will review it at MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS right after I am done here. I cannot mention that we went to the movies and dinner without mentioning an annoying new (bad) habit that I have because of a Christmas gift that Splenda gave to me. I have become a serial Flarper. If you are not familiar with Flarp it is a small container of colored putty, not that unlike silly putty or play-doh, that when "operated" properly emits flatulent sounds. I took it to the restaurant and did a drive-by (sitting actually) flarping when the waiter walked by and then at the beginning of the film between the previews and the movie, when it was completely quiet in the theater,  I let one rip. I am totally flarp addicted. My friend Judii and I have been wanting to be a part of a flash mob so I am thinking that we should actually orchestrate a Flarp Mob (patent/trademark/copyright pending)...I think that would be hilarious but I am usually incorrect.

I cannot believe how I sit down to blog with all of these ideas of what I am going to write and then I prattle on so and have done a completely different blog. Maybe I have AABD (Adult Attention Blogging Disorder). Or maybe AABAFD (Adult Attention Blogging And Flarping Disorder).

I can now say Pasta Boobs in six languages!

A couple of other cool things I got as gifts are: drumstick pencils, boob pasta and mustache socks. I think it says a lot about a Matt on the gifts he receives. I do think farts are funny (Flarp). I do like drumming and writing, I really like boobs and pasta (nice marriage there I must say) and who doesn't like mustached-feet? I think we may have boob pasta in red sauce for dinner. A cream sauce like Alfredo would be too obvious. If I ate meat I would include some chicken breasts.

When did the NFL (National Football League) become such a bunch of sissies? Yesterday's game in Philadelphia where the Eagles were supposed to play The Minnesota Vikings was moved to tomorrow (Tuesday) because they were expecting snow. It wasn't the Miami Dolphins playing the San Diego Chargers - these are two cold-weather teams supposedly. Duh...you play at an outside stadium in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at the end of December. And, you're playing the Minnesota Vikings whose domed-stadium just collapsed from too much snow. Maybe we should have only warm-weather NFL teams or play the season while the MLB teams are still in spring training. I am MIDDLE enough to remember when football was a tough-guy sport. Players who were tough enough to be in Miller Lite Commercials or Hertz Rent-A-Car Commercials.

Enough for today. Enjoy the rest of your Boxing Day and I will blog you again tomorrow before I go to work at 4:00 MIDDLE time. TTTT....MITM (salivating for boob pasta). Hey, I just realized that I wrote about boobs and headlights in the same blog (I even crack myself up accidentally)